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1
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- Neens...
- Nina.
- ..I'd hate for there
to be a chasm between us.
2
00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:06,240
- Will you be my Maid of Honour?
- Yeah!
3
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:07,760
Nina's got a boyfriend!
4
00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,760
- Do you want to be my plus one?
- Yeah.
5
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,640
There's this lady called
Dr Catherine Dunne
6
00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,960
and she's looking for people
to go the Isle of Wight
7
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,680
and work with her, and I applied.
8
00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:19,800
We are meeting a few more people
but we'll be in touch.
9
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,000
Thank you.
10
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:26,560
Here We Gyros
is a great indulgence of mine.
11
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,160
You know what they say,
what happeneth in Rothesay,
12
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:30,680
stayeth in Rothesay.
13
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,960
It's just family dinner. No Ranesh.
Should be chill.
14
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,400
Burying stuff's my speciality.
15
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,000
Let's avoid all things Rothesay.
16
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,320
We get through this together and
then tomorrow we'll Bill Murray it.
17
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:43,320
- Nina?
- You asked me to give you the
details of the wedding and I did.
18
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:44,680
You didn't reply.
19
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,760
- No, no, Nina, wait...
- Please don't touch me, please.
20
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,200
I think you need to tell him.
21
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,080
Now I get my one big moment
where it's all about me
22
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,080
for the first time in my life
and you won't let me have it!
23
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,960
I'm sorry I'm such a burden.
24
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,680
So then she invites this slip
of a man into my life
25
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,599
without any warning and,
and she makes me mask
26
00:01:04,599 --> 00:01:07,000
in front of his tiny spectacled dad.
27
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,560
And, and, and then
she-she ruined my date
28
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,120
and made me go to a dress fitting
29
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,840
where a parrot
watched me getting changed
30
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,560
and she knows how much I hate birds.
31
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,120
And then...and then she cheated
on her fiance in Rothesay
32
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,200
with some man
who doesn't believe in the moon
33
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,400
and, and after she's done all
of that, she says to me that I'm...
34
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,960
..that I'm...
35
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,320
..that I'm a burden.
36
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,680
Die! Die!
37
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,840
They're zombies.
They're dead already.
38
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,360
You know, I never...
I never had to add anything
39
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,600
or take anything away for Evie.
40
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,440
She just...she just liked me
for who I was
41
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,960
and then this man arrived
and she got engaged
42
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,000
and she started changing
43
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,759
and making me do things
that I didn't want to do.
44
00:01:50,759 --> 00:01:52,240
And tomorrow, at her wedding,
45
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,120
I'm going to have to do more stuff
I don't like,
46
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,520
like smile at strangers
and-and wave and lie
47
00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:58,960
and I don't even have a plus one.
48
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,000
- VIDEO GAME:
- Round 2.
49
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,480
I'm not going.
50
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:08,520
Do you know the 2008 romcom
Made Of Honour with Patrick Dempsey?
51
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:12,080
He does the right thing
because he's made of honour.
52
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:16,000
You see? M-A-D-E Of Honour.
53
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,079
You see, it-it...
54
00:02:18,079 --> 00:02:19,840
- It's a funny joke.
- Ha.
55
00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,720
Evie getting married
is a good thing.
56
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,440
It means
you'll be able to concentrate
57
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,600
on becoming a Dunne footnote.
58
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,320
Haven't heard back about that.
59
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,880
Oh, well, my, er, reference
interview with them went well.
60
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:40,240
So, er, yeah, hold your nerve.
61
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,800
- VIDEO GAME:
- Level complete.
62
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,079
If the asteroid
hadn't hit the Earth,
63
00:02:46,079 --> 00:02:48,840
would the dinosaurs still be alive?
64
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:51,640
No.
65
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:55,680
And if this chap hadn't come along,
it would have been someone else.
66
00:02:55,680 --> 00:03:00,240
The time of you and Evie
living closely must end,
67
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,360
like all geological time periods.
68
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,000
If it never did, you'd never know
where you could have gone.
69
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,680
You have to go to the wedding.
70
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,200
SHE GROANS
71
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,480
Fine.
72
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:17,520
I'm-I'm going to fix my face
and I'm going to go to the wedding.
73
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,360
But I draw the line
at doing Loch Lomond.
74
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,480
- I'm not linking arms with strangers.
- Hm.
75
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,960
Made Of Honour?
76
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,000
Gemma enjoys Noughties romcoms.
77
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,320
And I must admit
I did...somewhat enjoy it.
78
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,160
Patrick Dempsey, eh?
79
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,120
Well, it's those baby blues.
80
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,440
Declan, you hound.
81
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,840
DOORBELL RINGS
82
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:06,320
Come on!
83
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:06,320
DOORBELL RINGS
84
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,800
- How are you doing there,
Shagrid?
- I'm fine, thank you.
85
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,120
- Are you sure?
- Mm-hm.
- Cos your sister's marrying
86
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,920
a fat-free yoghurt
in a Ted Baker suit.
87
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,519
I'm going to fix my face
and be a silent and compliant MOH
88
00:04:16,519 --> 00:04:18,360
until I'm allowed to go home.
89
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,160
Beautiful. Well, I'm excited.
There's an open bar.
90
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,080
Please don't flirt
with Amber tonight.
91
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:27,120
She texted me a selfie
outside my primary school.
92
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,160
That's so creepy!
93
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,520
Maybe she won't turn up.
94
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,560
Oh, thank God you're here.
95
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,600
Phase Two started 25 minutes ago!
96
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,040
The father of the groom's
already here.
97
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,480
Hi, Bo.
98
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:39,880
I have your corsage.
99
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,240
I took my nail scissors and cut the
flowers from the botanical gardens.
100
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,320
Gorgeous, aren't they?
101
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,360
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
you're not meant to do that,
102
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,840
but do you know what?
Not my problem.
103
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,520
Everyone's in the kitchen, Nina.
104
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,880
There you go, Bo.
105
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,320
- WHISPERS:
- Help me!
106
00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,720
WHISPERS: Fuck off!
107
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:54,880
There.
108
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,240
SHE SNIFFS
109
00:04:58,240 --> 00:04:59,840
Mmm.
110
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,000
Crafty wee chin fuckers!
111
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,040
- Hello, Mum.
- Where's the shoe polish?
112
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,080
- Hello, Dad.
- It's in the cupboard of stuff!
113
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,760
PHONE RINGS
114
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,760
- Hello, Sachin.
- And unto you.
115
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,280
No, it's not here.
116
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:13,360
Have you looked? If I come over
there and I see the shoe polish,
117
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,040
- I'm going to be...
- Here it is!
118
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,480
- Argh!
- Don't worry, pal.
119
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,240
You're safe this time.
120
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,000
- Did I tell you I'm a songwriter,
Sachin?
- Oh, dear Christ.
- Yeah.
121
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,760
VOICEMAIL: You have one new message.
122
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,720
Press one...
To listen to the message, press two.
123
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:31,240
To delete the mes... New message.
124
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,560
- VOICEMAIL MESSAGE:
- Hi, Shane,
it's Nina.
125
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,159
Oops! Only joking.
126
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,159
SHANE LAUGHS
127
00:05:36,159 --> 00:05:41,159
Anyway, as it's your day off, I took
the liberty of checking your emails.
128
00:05:41,159 --> 00:05:43,680
I suspected news about the dig
would come in...
129
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,800
KNOCKING
130
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,800
Evie?
131
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,960
I know you said that
I wasn't to talk to you but...
132
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,920
..I got offered a post-doc position.
133
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:17,760
Whoa.
134
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,200
I'm going to be sick.
135
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,000
- No, it's good news.
- No...
136
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,760
..I need to tell Ranesh
what happened on the hen do.
137
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,760
- You were right.
- No.
138
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,800
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
139
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,720
What do you mean, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no?!
140
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,800
It is 93 minutes before your wedding
and people will be arriving soon.
141
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:35,920
You told me to tell him!
142
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,280
Not on Phase Two
of your wedding morning, Evie!
143
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,240
I love him.
144
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,320
Like, really love him.
145
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,680
And I can't marry this man
with all this integrity
146
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,000
without being honest with him.
147
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,720
You know this will ruin the wedding?
148
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,680
Oh, it doesn't
matter about the wedding.
149
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,240
It's about the marriage.
150
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,040
I should have listened to you.
151
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,680
- OK. Do you want me to fetch him?
- Yeah.
152
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,880
- Right.
- But I can't do it by myself.
153
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,400
No, I'll-I'll stay with you.
154
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,160
I'll stand beside you, but you just
have to tell me when my presence
155
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,440
becomes overbearing or weird,
because I don't know.
156
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:08,920
- OK.
- OK.
157
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:12,160
- OK.
- OK. OK, OK.
158
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,000
So just to check -
159
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,960
92 minutes before you get married,
160
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,960
you want to tell your fiance
that you drunkenly
161
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,760
kissed a man in Rothesay
who doesn't believe in gravity?
162
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,920
- Mm-hm.
- OK.
163
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:25,800
You look beautiful.
164
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,440
Thank you.
165
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,920
I don't know what you think
you heard, but...
166
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,520
- Did you say something?
- Just practising my speech!
167
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,240
Nina. Amber wants me.
Like, a lot.
168
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,080
She's right up my arse!
You need to help me.
169
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,960
- No! Have you seen Ranesh?
- Who?
170
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,640
Oh, no.
171
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,560
# Baby, I just can't get enough! #
172
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,360
Sachin, have you seen Ranesh?
173
00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:57,960
# Taste of love
Whoa, whoa! #
174
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,120
- Ranesh?
- Ah! Don't look at me!
175
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,320
Oh!
176
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,920
There you are. Where is Bo?
177
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,480
- Also, we're way behind
on your hair and make-up.
- No.
178
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,120
I did a hair and beauty short
course! Why does no-one trust me?!
179
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:12,280
- Have you seen Ranesh?
- Yeah.
180
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,520
I did see him go out
the front door two minutes ago.
181
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,720
I'm just going to pop outside
for a spot of air
182
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:19,000
with my good friend, Ranesh.
So you hold down the fort.
183
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,760
So, you need me to be MOH?
Interim MOH?
184
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,400
Interim MOH. Well done.
185
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:25,920
Nina, I can do this.
186
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,800
- You can.
- So what's going on?
187
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:31,040
None of your business! Interim MOH.
188
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,720
Yes! MOH!
189
00:08:40,039 --> 00:08:43,200
I said I'd be your plus one
for the wedding, so...
190
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,920
..here I am. I'm-I'm your
plus one to the wedding.
191
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,960
This was a bad idea, wasn't it?
192
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,680
You think the flowers are cheesy.
193
00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:54,320
They're too much. I can see that
now. The thing is I...
194
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,680
Is... The other... When...
195
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,680
HE STAMMERS
196
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,320
At the party... W-W-What, what,
what, what it was...
197
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,880
- No, what it is, is...
- I'm going to stop you right there.
198
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,760
The groom...
WHISPERS: ..we've lost him.
199
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,640
God.
200
00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,960
- He's dead?
- No, no, no!
201
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,440
Um, Ranesh found out about Evie
kissing your weird friend, Euan,
202
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,280
- in Rothesay and he's run off.
- Oh.
203
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,320
Fucking Euan!
204
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,680
I mean, a wedding without
a groom is like a...
205
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:22,040
- Well, it's not ideal, is it?
- We need to find him.
206
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,680
I've got the van around the corner.
207
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,200
Er, sorry about the, um...the mess.
208
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,000
I, er...I don't usually
have visitors.
209
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,080
Or anyone, really.
I'm quite lonely.
210
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,440
- So where's he going to be?
- I don't know.
211
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,680
Right. Er, where does he live?
212
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,440
HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
213
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,440
OK.
214
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,920
He's just this little intrusive
thought who's always at my flat.
215
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,960
I've never asked him
anything about himself.
216
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:51,160
Where would he go
at a time of emotional crisis?
217
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,960
Our flat, but I refused to give him
the spare key.
218
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,960
Has he ever mentioned anywhere
that's special to him?
219
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,080
- Our flat?
- The flat, yeah.
220
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,600
Oh, I...
I don't know anything about him.
221
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,440
Wait. Wait.
222
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,120
He and Evie are always telling
this boring story,
223
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,840
it's the same boring story,
it's about their first date.
224
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,760
They went to...
225
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,560
..feminist poetry slam
at the bandstand!
226
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:16,680
And I thought
our first date was bad!
227
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:19,280
- This is serious.
- Yeah. Sorry.
228
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,640
- Bandstand?
- Bandstand!
229
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,640
ENGINE STARTS
230
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,680
Amber, what's going on?
Where's Nina?
231
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:27,600
I've told you.
She has a tape worm.
232
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,880
Anyway, let me finish
running through my speech with you.
233
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,080
Ranesh!
234
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,280
- Ranesh!
- Ranesh!
235
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,600
Ranesh!
236
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,000
- Ranesh!
- Nesh-Nesh!
237
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,600
Ranesh! Ranesh!
238
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:48,920
RANEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH!
239
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,760
My name's Gavin.
240
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,600
I don't think he's here.
241
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,360
PHONE RINGS
242
00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,360
Excuse me. Hello.
243
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,200
Are you still getting air
with Ranesh?
244
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,760
Here's the scoop, Amber.
245
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,960
Evie kissed Euan when
we were in Rothesay
246
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,640
and Ranesh has found out about it
and he's run away and I don't know
247
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,280
where to look for him because
I don't know anything about him,
248
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,000
because when he talks,
I zone him out.
249
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,040
And Evie can't know any thing
about this, do you understand?
250
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:21,920
OK.
251
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,400
ON PHONE: OK.
252
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,240
I'll call you if I get any updates.
253
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,200
- Give me the phone.
- You never
told me.
- Give me the phone!
254
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,800
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Shut up!
- I thought we were best friends.
255
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,400
So, you're Ranesh.
256
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,760
You've got a concave arse
and you're panicking.
257
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,440
- Where do you go?
- Fuck!
258
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,320
Where do you go
when you're stressed out?
259
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,280
Somewhere where
I can eat a lot of grease.
260
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,960
That's not Ranesh. He-he's a...
261
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,840
He's a "do some transcendental
meditation, have a 15K" type of guy.
262
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,080
Hmm, I don't know.
263
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,400
Everyone's got some weird gross side
not everyone knows about.
264
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,120
- Hmm. Not Ranesh.
- Even Ranesh.
265
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,520
He was designed in a lab to have a
low BMI and a high irritation point.
266
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:06,440
- I promise you. The guy's got layers.
- He doesn't.
267
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,160
People be surprisin'.
268
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:15,640
- Do you know the food van
Here We Gyros?
- Of course I do!
269
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:16,920
- BOTH:
- Let's go!
270
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,400
Of course he's not here.
271
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,240
Oh, I've ruined everything.
272
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,720
I should have just let it go.
This is all my fault.
273
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,320
Well...you didn't kiss Euan.
274
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,960
Look. Um, things were a bit weird
275
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,840
the last time I saw you
and I just... I want...
276
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,240
Oh, my God!
277
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,960
Hey, Neshy.
278
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,200
I'm going to...
279
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:06,440
I know that you and I have had
somewhat of a chequered past
280
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,000
and you're very upset
that Evie kissed someone...
281
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,840
It's not about her kissing someone.
282
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,160
It's that she didn't tell me.
283
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,120
Anyway, what are you doing here,
Nina?
284
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,720
We both know you've never liked me.
285
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,760
- Was it very obvious?
- Yes!
286
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:28,600
I've tried everything
to connect to you spiritually.
287
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,480
Pasta from Firenze.
288
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:34,760
Tea! I brewed you
my finest lapsang souchong!
289
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,640
And the other day,
when I read you my vows,
290
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,080
I opened up my soul like a tap!
291
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,360
I know, but it's...
292
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,600
But nothing worked.
293
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,480
It was never about me.
294
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,760
Evie's engagement hit your life
like an asteroid.
295
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,760
And you just couldn't bear
to let her go.
296
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,120
Maybe you're right.
297
00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:01,840
I called you a soya boy wet wipe
and a host of other things.
298
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,280
It was only because it felt like
299
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,160
everything you were doing
was pretend.
300
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,600
It-it felt like you were
constantly pretending
301
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,840
and that's really confusing!
302
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,080
Have you ever actually
been to Firenze?
303
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,920
- SHE GASPS
- But it is on my "to-do" list.
304
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,560
That betrayal aside...
305
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,560
..I was wrong.
306
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,160
I was wrong about you.
307
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,600
This is you and it's all right.
308
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,680
It's all right!
You're allowed to eat a kebab.
309
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,880
I mean, it's bad for your gut biome,
but you like it
310
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,320
and it tastes delicious
and Evie loves kebabs!
311
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:39,960
Oh, no! No, no, she doesn't!
312
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,640
She finds them too heavy and greasy!
313
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,720
That's a lie! She loves kebabs!
314
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:47,520
I've watched her throwback 'babs
with the best of them!
315
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,480
I can't believe
I'm going to say this.
316
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,160
You and her
are perfect for each other.
317
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,400
You're meant to be.
318
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,720
Will you please come talk to Evie?
319
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,040
I think he's got quite a nice arse.
320
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,080
Mm. It's only concave in pictures.
321
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,760
Hurry up, Sauce Pervert.
322
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:27,520
Hello, Nina. Lee. Ranesh.
Everyone's waiting in the garden.
323
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,560
The celebrant says
they have a tight turnaround.
324
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,120
Amber, they need to talk first.
325
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,400
OK. Why don't you go and remove the
mayonnaise from the groom's hair?
326
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,520
Hmm. OK.
327
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,560
So Evie does know, but...
328
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,120
Amber, I told you not to tell her!
329
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,240
Nina! I've been MOH
eight times before,
330
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:45,960
this is not my first jilting.
331
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,520
I know what I'm doing.
332
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,800
I mean, Evie did sort of try to
run away. She was very stressed.
333
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,720
But I managed to catch her.
334
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:57,360
We had a very productive dialogue
and calmly resolved the situation.
335
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,440
THUDDING
336
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,440
Amber, where's Evie?
337
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,400
BANGING
338
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,360
You locked me in the shed, Amber!
339
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:13,440
- Oh, no. Are you, like, angry
that I locked you in a shed?
- No.
340
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,480
I'm fucking furious!
341
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,480
AMBER LAUGHS
342
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,600
I'm going to go...
343
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,040
..change my tampon.
344
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:24,720
She's...
345
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,160
..dedicated.
346
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:30,800
He literally ran away from me.
347
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,400
That's true, but he came back.
348
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,800
- He did?
- Mm.
349
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:38,480
He didn't have to, but he came back
and he wants to speak to you.
350
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,200
- Oh, he's never going to forgive me.
- Of course he will.
351
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,080
How do you know that?
352
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,440
Because...
353
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,840
..you're easy to forgive, Evie.
354
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,480
About that stuff that
I said the other day...
355
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:58,040
It's fine. It was...
356
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:01,560
It was your turn to be blunt
and interesting.
357
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:05,760
No. I was nasty
and I really regret it.
358
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,440
I'm really sorry.
359
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,800
I know.
360
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,079
Right. You're going to go in there,
361
00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:16,720
you're going to be
100% honest with each other.
362
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,119
No shenanigans,
363
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,359
no nonsense.
364
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:21,680
Just be Evie.
365
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,400
Preferably in the next nine minutes.
366
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,319
- OK.
- OK.
367
00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:31,480
- You've got this!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Mm-hm.
- You're good.
368
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,800
- Nah, you can't see it at all.
- Right.
369
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,200
There and there.
370
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,480
Thank you.
371
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,160
Hi.
372
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,520
Hi.
373
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,320
- Come on, Lee.
- Er, can you stay?
374
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,680
CHAIRS CREAK
375
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:12,800
I could stand here
376
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,560
and say that I respect
every decision a woman makes,
377
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,440
- but I'm not going to do that.
- OK.
378
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:22,240
Because I'm hurt that you kissed
someone and didn't tell me.
379
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,480
You've made a mockery of all that
we've built together
380
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,840
- over the last 12 weeks.
- But that kiss, it was just...
381
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,200
No. It's not about the kiss.
382
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:32,160
It's about being open and honest
with one another in perpetuity.
383
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:36,120
That's what you're supposed to do
when you want to be with someone.
384
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:38,840
- So we just need...
- I'm obsessed with Real Housewives!
385
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,400
Sometimes I wish I was a housewife.
386
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:49,840
I'm 30 and I am genuinely
terrified of my dad.
387
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,040
WHISPERS: He is scary.
388
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,600
I have never seen
a Sofia Coppola film.
389
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,360
- I've never seen
a Sofia Coppola film!
- Shut up!
390
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:59,960
I've actually shat myself
on multiple Greek islands!
391
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,880
I have no idea what a gut biome is.
392
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,360
I have no friends!
Apart from a woman that can't be
393
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,280
within 50 feet of the kid
from Love Actually.
394
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,880
- That's Amber, not me.
- Right.
395
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:13,680
I have auditioned for
Britain's Got Talent four times!
396
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,800
And I'm really scared
that I'm boring.
397
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:23,840
I know on the outside I'm this
sweet, sassy, confident redhead,
398
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,680
who's a perfect mix of Carrie
and Charlotte all at once,
399
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:31,600
But inside, there's a part of me
that is really horrible
400
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:35,960
and ugly and destructive
and it scares me.
401
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,800
Me too!
402
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,320
- Wow!
- Wow!
- Wow!
403
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,040
- Yeah!
- God, that was better
than an ultramarathon!
404
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,480
We should just tell each other
exactly what we're thinking
405
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,120
and feeling every second
of every day.
406
00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,520
That's not practical.
407
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:54,040
- No more lies! Ever!
- Ever! We'll share everything!
408
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:57,640
Will you marry me?
409
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,640
Yeah.
410
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,080
Go on, then.
411
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,160
You may now kiss the bride.
412
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,160
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
413
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:23,360
# This is where I lay my heart
414
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:26,960
# Is where I lay my heart
415
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:31,480
# Is where I lay my heart... #
416
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:41,880
# By yon Bonnie banks
and by yon Bonnie braes
417
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:49,040
# Where the sun shines
bright on Loch Lomond
418
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:56,080
# Where me and my true love
will never meet again... #
419
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,440
You look happy.
420
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,400
- I did it, lurch!
- Did what?
421
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,840
I broke up with Hilda!
422
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,320
No!
423
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,160
Something about that ceremony
just really touched a nerve.
424
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,040
Oh, bawbag!
425
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,880
You know, there's no going back now.
426
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,960
Ah! I've ruined my life.
427
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,280
No, you haven't! No!
Don't phone her.
428
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,720
She's like the world's
most boring witch.
429
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,280
Her only spell
is making you feel sad!
430
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,040
She's Dr Dunne it!
431
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:33,120
We're so proud of you, darling!
Mwah!
432
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,160
- How did you find out?
- Evie's been telling everyone.
433
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,200
My daughter. A doctor!
434
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,600
Mum, I got my post-doctorate,
like, four years ago.
435
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,800
- I know. I just like saying it.
- THEY CHUCKLE
436
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,440
To the Isle of Wight!
437
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,320
Isle of, Isle of,
Isle of fucking Wight!
438
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,560
Isle of, Isle of,
Isle of fucking Wight!
439
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:58,120
Isle of, Isle of,
Isle of fucking Wight!
440
00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:08,480
You two are like gonky
Normal People.
441
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,560
Hmm. Abnormal People.
442
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,720
- Don't phone her!
- Roger that.
443
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,440
Me, I'm going to go and Roger that.
444
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,040
Gets right in there!
445
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,600
You're not going to ask me
to dance, are you?
446
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,720
- Absolutely not.
- OK, good!
447
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,080
So...
448
00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:36,200
..I'm, er...I'm guessing
you got the post doc, then?
449
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,960
How do you know?
450
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:42,520
"Isle of, Isle of,
Isle of fucking Wight!"
451
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:43,960
It's great news.
452
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:46,880
Are you going to take it?
453
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,360
I think so.
454
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,480
- I mean, I know so, yeah.
- Yeah.
455
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,440
You were going to say something,
456
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,560
when you, um...turned up
at my door with flowers.
457
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,680
I did pull away from you.
458
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,280
I don't usually get to this bit,
Nina.
459
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:15,000
I just feel like you get me
and not everyone does.
460
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,800
And then you asked me out
and I was buzzing
461
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,920
and then you say,
"I'm going to the Isle of Wight,"
462
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,760
And I thought, "All right. Well...
463
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,360
"Well, that's that done, then."
464
00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,280
I confused you?
465
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:31,680
I've been confusing?
466
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,000
Usually,
I'm the straightforward one.
467
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,440
Didn't occur to me
that I could have both.
468
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:43,360
Well, we can.
469
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,880
But do you want both things?
470
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,280
It's like...
471
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:50,880
..I can see the dig.
472
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:55,360
And I want so badly to be part
of a discovery that's bigger than me
473
00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:58,320
and bigger than my life
will ever be, but...
474
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,240
..I also...I want you.
475
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,760
I really want to give this a try.
476
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:10,640
But I'm not good with people
and I'm not good at relationships.
477
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:14,480
Well, that sounds like
an unproven hypothesis.
478
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:20,640
It would be silly
to start something romantic.
479
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:25,160
Yep. And we don't even know what
this is yet, so it's, um...
480
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,520
- Reckless?
- ..illogical.
481
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,720
Illogical.
482
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,600
Sometimes life isn't logical.
483
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,680
Knutsford!
484
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:51,960
What?
485
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:53,360
Knutsford.
486
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:57,120
It's...it's 225 miles from Glasgow
487
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,240
and it's 225 miles
from the Isle of Wight.
488
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,000
Slap bang in the middle.
489
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,320
And, er, yeah,
I searched that online.
490
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,160
And you wouldn't believe how long it
took me to figure that out.
491
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:12,160
Anyway, if we want to
make this work, then...
492
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,440
..why don't we meet there?
In a year's time.
493
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,400
My post doc is only six months.
494
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,800
OK.
495
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,760
Six months. Knutsford!
496
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,880
Well, by then I'll probably
just be back in Glasgow,
497
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,240
- so we could just...
- Nina, I'm being romantic.
498
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:29,840
- Knutsford.
- Knutsford.
499
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,200
I want to go.
500
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,040
I should probably go too.
501
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,880
Imagine if I just hung
about after you left?!
502
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,720
- I won't.
- You can if you want.
My family like you.
503
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,040
- Nina?
- Hmm?
504
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:57,440
I'll miss you.
505
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:58,960
I'll miss you too.
506
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,360
Good luck.
507
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,760
Night-night, bawbag!
508
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,360
- Bye, Nina.
- Bye, Nina.
509
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,440
Nina!
510
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,200
Did you see Bo and Amber?!
511
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,040
Yeah! Do you know what?
He's got a type.
512
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,360
- Out of the frying pan...
- Hmm.
513
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,280
I keep thinking,
514
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,560
what if they don't have Wheat Puffs
on the Isle of Wight?
515
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,360
No, I checked. Nearly every major
supermarket in the UK sells them.
516
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,280
- But you'll pack some?
- Yes.
- Just to be safe.
- Yes.
517
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:00,920
Were you trying to sneak off
without saying bye?
518
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:04,080
You know, you'll be away by the time
I get back from my honeymoon.
519
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,680
Yeah.
520
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,320
I wanted to, but you looked
like you were having fun.
521
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,400
Plus, I've got a job to accept,
and I'm exhausted.
522
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:18,840
I should get back...
523
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,480
..to my husband.
524
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,480
SHE LAUGHS
525
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:23,240
OK.
526
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:27,800
Bye, Nina.
527
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,760
# You reach
528
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:55,280
# But your feet
never left the ground
529
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:03,120
# Tell somebody
530
00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:06,440
# Please
531
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:09,640
# Please
532
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:13,200
# Please
533
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,200
# Tell somebody
534
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,600
# Please
535
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:23,160
# Please
536
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,520
# Please
537
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,880
# Please
538
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,320
# Please
539
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:37,080
# Please
540
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,400
# Please
541
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:44,000
# Tell somebody
542
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,800
# Tell somebody
543
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:51,520
# Tell somebody
544
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:55,080
# Many bodies feel the drop
And everybody go. #
40133
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