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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,440 - Neens... - Nina. - ..I'd hate for there to be a chasm between us. 2 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:06,240 - Will you be my Maid of Honour? - Yeah! 3 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:07,760 Nina's got a boyfriend! 4 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:09,760 - Do you want to be my plus one? - Yeah. 5 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,640 There's this lady called Dr Catherine Dunne 6 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,960 and she's looking for people to go the Isle of Wight 7 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,680 and work with her, and I applied. 8 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:19,800 We are meeting a few more people but we'll be in touch. 9 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:21,000 Thank you. 10 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:26,560 Here We Gyros is a great indulgence of mine. 11 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,160 You know what they say, what happeneth in Rothesay, 12 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:30,680 stayeth in Rothesay. 13 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,960 It's just family dinner. No Ranesh. Should be chill. 14 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,400 Burying stuff's my speciality. 15 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,000 Let's avoid all things Rothesay. 16 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,320 We get through this together and then tomorrow we'll Bill Murray it. 17 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:43,320 - Nina? - You asked me to give you the details of the wedding and I did. 18 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:44,680 You didn't reply. 19 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,760 - No, no, Nina, wait... - Please don't touch me, please. 20 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,200 I think you need to tell him. 21 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,080 Now I get my one big moment where it's all about me 22 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,080 for the first time in my life and you won't let me have it! 23 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:56,960 I'm sorry I'm such a burden. 24 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,680 So then she invites this slip of a man into my life 25 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,599 without any warning and, and she makes me mask 26 00:01:04,599 --> 00:01:07,000 in front of his tiny spectacled dad. 27 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,560 And, and, and then she-she ruined my date 28 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,120 and made me go to a dress fitting 29 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,840 where a parrot watched me getting changed 30 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,560 and she knows how much I hate birds. 31 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,120 And then...and then she cheated on her fiance in Rothesay 32 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,200 with some man who doesn't believe in the moon 33 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,400 and, and after she's done all of that, she says to me that I'm... 34 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,960 ..that I'm... 35 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,320 ..that I'm a burden. 36 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,680 Die! Die! 37 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,840 They're zombies. They're dead already. 38 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,360 You know, I never... I never had to add anything 39 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,600 or take anything away for Evie. 40 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,440 She just...she just liked me for who I was 41 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,960 and then this man arrived and she got engaged 42 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,000 and she started changing 43 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:50,759 and making me do things that I didn't want to do. 44 00:01:50,759 --> 00:01:52,240 And tomorrow, at her wedding, 45 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,120 I'm going to have to do more stuff I don't like, 46 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,520 like smile at strangers and-and wave and lie 47 00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:58,960 and I don't even have a plus one. 48 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,000 - VIDEO GAME: - Round 2. 49 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,480 I'm not going. 50 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:08,520 Do you know the 2008 romcom Made Of Honour with Patrick Dempsey? 51 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:12,080 He does the right thing because he's made of honour. 52 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:16,000 You see? M-A-D-E Of Honour. 53 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,079 You see, it-it... 54 00:02:18,079 --> 00:02:19,840 - It's a funny joke. - Ha. 55 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,720 Evie getting married is a good thing. 56 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,440 It means you'll be able to concentrate 57 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,600 on becoming a Dunne footnote. 58 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,320 Haven't heard back about that. 59 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,880 Oh, well, my, er, reference interview with them went well. 60 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:40,240 So, er, yeah, hold your nerve. 61 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,800 - VIDEO GAME: - Level complete. 62 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,079 If the asteroid hadn't hit the Earth, 63 00:02:46,079 --> 00:02:48,840 would the dinosaurs still be alive? 64 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:51,640 No. 65 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:55,680 And if this chap hadn't come along, it would have been someone else. 66 00:02:55,680 --> 00:03:00,240 The time of you and Evie living closely must end, 67 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,360 like all geological time periods. 68 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,000 If it never did, you'd never know where you could have gone. 69 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,680 You have to go to the wedding. 70 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,200 SHE GROANS 71 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,480 Fine. 72 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:17,520 I'm-I'm going to fix my face and I'm going to go to the wedding. 73 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,360 But I draw the line at doing Loch Lomond. 74 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,480 - I'm not linking arms with strangers. - Hm. 75 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,960 Made Of Honour? 76 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,000 Gemma enjoys Noughties romcoms. 77 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,320 And I must admit I did...somewhat enjoy it. 78 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,160 Patrick Dempsey, eh? 79 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,120 Well, it's those baby blues. 80 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,440 Declan, you hound. 81 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,840 DOORBELL RINGS 82 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:06,320 Come on! 83 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:06,320 DOORBELL RINGS 84 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,800 - How are you doing there, Shagrid? - I'm fine, thank you. 85 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,120 - Are you sure? - Mm-hm. - Cos your sister's marrying 86 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,920 a fat-free yoghurt in a Ted Baker suit. 87 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,519 I'm going to fix my face and be a silent and compliant MOH 88 00:04:16,519 --> 00:04:18,360 until I'm allowed to go home. 89 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,160 Beautiful. Well, I'm excited. There's an open bar. 90 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,080 Please don't flirt with Amber tonight. 91 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:27,120 She texted me a selfie outside my primary school. 92 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,160 That's so creepy! 93 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,520 Maybe she won't turn up. 94 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,560 Oh, thank God you're here. 95 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,600 Phase Two started 25 minutes ago! 96 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,040 The father of the groom's already here. 97 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,480 Hi, Bo. 98 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:39,880 I have your corsage. 99 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,240 I took my nail scissors and cut the flowers from the botanical gardens. 100 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,320 Gorgeous, aren't they? 101 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,360 Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're not meant to do that, 102 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,840 but do you know what? Not my problem. 103 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,520 Everyone's in the kitchen, Nina. 104 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,880 There you go, Bo. 105 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:52,320 - WHISPERS: - Help me! 106 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:53,720 WHISPERS: Fuck off! 107 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:54,880 There. 108 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,240 SHE SNIFFS 109 00:04:58,240 --> 00:04:59,840 Mmm. 110 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,000 Crafty wee chin fuckers! 111 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,040 - Hello, Mum. - Where's the shoe polish? 112 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,080 - Hello, Dad. - It's in the cupboard of stuff! 113 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,760 PHONE RINGS 114 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,760 - Hello, Sachin. - And unto you. 115 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,280 No, it's not here. 116 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:13,360 Have you looked? If I come over there and I see the shoe polish, 117 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,040 - I'm going to be... - Here it is! 118 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,480 - Argh! - Don't worry, pal. 119 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,240 You're safe this time. 120 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:24,000 - Did I tell you I'm a songwriter, Sachin? - Oh, dear Christ. - Yeah. 121 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,760 VOICEMAIL: You have one new message. 122 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,720 Press one... To listen to the message, press two. 123 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:31,240 To delete the mes... New message. 124 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,560 - VOICEMAIL MESSAGE: - Hi, Shane, it's Nina. 125 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,159 Oops! Only joking. 126 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,159 SHANE LAUGHS 127 00:05:36,159 --> 00:05:41,159 Anyway, as it's your day off, I took the liberty of checking your emails. 128 00:05:41,159 --> 00:05:43,680 I suspected news about the dig would come in... 129 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,800 KNOCKING 130 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,800 Evie? 131 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,960 I know you said that I wasn't to talk to you but... 132 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,920 ..I got offered a post-doc position. 133 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:17,760 Whoa. 134 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,200 I'm going to be sick. 135 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,000 - No, it's good news. - No... 136 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,760 ..I need to tell Ranesh what happened on the hen do. 137 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,760 - You were right. - No. 138 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,800 No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 139 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,720 What do you mean, no, no, no, no, no, no, no?! 140 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,800 It is 93 minutes before your wedding and people will be arriving soon. 141 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:35,920 You told me to tell him! 142 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,280 Not on Phase Two of your wedding morning, Evie! 143 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,240 I love him. 144 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,320 Like, really love him. 145 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,680 And I can't marry this man with all this integrity 146 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:49,000 without being honest with him. 147 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,720 You know this will ruin the wedding? 148 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,680 Oh, it doesn't matter about the wedding. 149 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,240 It's about the marriage. 150 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,040 I should have listened to you. 151 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,680 - OK. Do you want me to fetch him? - Yeah. 152 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,880 - Right. - But I can't do it by myself. 153 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,400 No, I'll-I'll stay with you. 154 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,160 I'll stand beside you, but you just have to tell me when my presence 155 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,440 becomes overbearing or weird, because I don't know. 156 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:08,920 - OK. - OK. 157 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:12,160 - OK. - OK. OK, OK. 158 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,000 So just to check - 159 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,960 92 minutes before you get married, 160 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,960 you want to tell your fiance that you drunkenly 161 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,760 kissed a man in Rothesay who doesn't believe in gravity? 162 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,920 - Mm-hm. - OK. 163 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:25,800 You look beautiful. 164 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,440 Thank you. 165 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,920 I don't know what you think you heard, but... 166 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,520 - Did you say something? - Just practising my speech! 167 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,240 Nina. Amber wants me. Like, a lot. 168 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,080 She's right up my arse! You need to help me. 169 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,960 - No! Have you seen Ranesh? - Who? 170 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,640 Oh, no. 171 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,560 # Baby, I just can't get enough! # 172 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,360 Sachin, have you seen Ranesh? 173 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:57,960 # Taste of love Whoa, whoa! # 174 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,120 - Ranesh? - Ah! Don't look at me! 175 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,320 Oh! 176 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,920 There you are. Where is Bo? 177 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,480 - Also, we're way behind on your hair and make-up. - No. 178 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,120 I did a hair and beauty short course! Why does no-one trust me?! 179 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:12,280 - Have you seen Ranesh? - Yeah. 180 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,520 I did see him go out the front door two minutes ago. 181 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,720 I'm just going to pop outside for a spot of air 182 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:19,000 with my good friend, Ranesh. So you hold down the fort. 183 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,760 So, you need me to be MOH? Interim MOH? 184 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,400 Interim MOH. Well done. 185 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:25,920 Nina, I can do this. 186 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,800 - You can. - So what's going on? 187 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:31,040 None of your business! Interim MOH. 188 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,720 Yes! MOH! 189 00:08:40,039 --> 00:08:43,200 I said I'd be your plus one for the wedding, so... 190 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,920 ..here I am. I'm-I'm your plus one to the wedding. 191 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,960 This was a bad idea, wasn't it? 192 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,680 You think the flowers are cheesy. 193 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:54,320 They're too much. I can see that now. The thing is I... 194 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,680 Is... The other... When... 195 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,680 HE STAMMERS 196 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:59,320 At the party... W-W-What, what, what, what it was... 197 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,880 - No, what it is, is... - I'm going to stop you right there. 198 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,760 The groom... WHISPERS: ..we've lost him. 199 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,640 God. 200 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,960 - He's dead? - No, no, no! 201 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,440 Um, Ranesh found out about Evie kissing your weird friend, Euan, 202 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:15,280 - in Rothesay and he's run off. - Oh. 203 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,320 Fucking Euan! 204 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,680 I mean, a wedding without a groom is like a... 205 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:22,040 - Well, it's not ideal, is it? - We need to find him. 206 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,680 I've got the van around the corner. 207 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,200 Er, sorry about the, um...the mess. 208 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,000 I, er...I don't usually have visitors. 209 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,080 Or anyone, really. I'm quite lonely. 210 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,440 - So where's he going to be? - I don't know. 211 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,680 Right. Er, where does he live? 212 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,440 HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 213 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,440 OK. 214 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,920 He's just this little intrusive thought who's always at my flat. 215 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,960 I've never asked him anything about himself. 216 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:51,160 Where would he go at a time of emotional crisis? 217 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,960 Our flat, but I refused to give him the spare key. 218 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,960 Has he ever mentioned anywhere that's special to him? 219 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,080 - Our flat? - The flat, yeah. 220 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,600 Oh, I... I don't know anything about him. 221 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,440 Wait. Wait. 222 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:07,120 He and Evie are always telling this boring story, 223 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,840 it's the same boring story, it's about their first date. 224 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,760 They went to... 225 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,560 ..feminist poetry slam at the bandstand! 226 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:16,680 And I thought our first date was bad! 227 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:19,280 - This is serious. - Yeah. Sorry. 228 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,640 - Bandstand? - Bandstand! 229 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,640 ENGINE STARTS 230 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,680 Amber, what's going on? Where's Nina? 231 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:27,600 I've told you. She has a tape worm. 232 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,880 Anyway, let me finish running through my speech with you. 233 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,080 Ranesh! 234 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,280 - Ranesh! - Ranesh! 235 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,600 Ranesh! 236 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,000 - Ranesh! - Nesh-Nesh! 237 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,600 Ranesh! Ranesh! 238 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:48,920 RANEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH! 239 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,760 My name's Gavin. 240 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,600 I don't think he's here. 241 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,360 PHONE RINGS 242 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,360 Excuse me. Hello. 243 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,200 Are you still getting air with Ranesh? 244 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,760 Here's the scoop, Amber. 245 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,960 Evie kissed Euan when we were in Rothesay 246 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,640 and Ranesh has found out about it and he's run away and I don't know 247 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,280 where to look for him because I don't know anything about him, 248 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,000 because when he talks, I zone him out. 249 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,040 And Evie can't know any thing about this, do you understand? 250 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:21,920 OK. 251 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,400 ON PHONE: OK. 252 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,240 I'll call you if I get any updates. 253 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,200 - Give me the phone. - You never told me. - Give me the phone! 254 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,800 - Why didn't you tell me? - Shut up! - I thought we were best friends. 255 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,400 So, you're Ranesh. 256 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,760 You've got a concave arse and you're panicking. 257 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,440 - Where do you go? - Fuck! 258 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,320 Where do you go when you're stressed out? 259 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,280 Somewhere where I can eat a lot of grease. 260 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,960 That's not Ranesh. He-he's a... 261 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,840 He's a "do some transcendental meditation, have a 15K" type of guy. 262 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,080 Hmm, I don't know. 263 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,400 Everyone's got some weird gross side not everyone knows about. 264 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,120 - Hmm. Not Ranesh. - Even Ranesh. 265 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,520 He was designed in a lab to have a low BMI and a high irritation point. 266 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:06,440 - I promise you. The guy's got layers. - He doesn't. 267 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,160 People be surprisin'. 268 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:15,640 - Do you know the food van Here We Gyros? - Of course I do! 269 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:16,920 - BOTH: - Let's go! 270 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,400 Of course he's not here. 271 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,240 Oh, I've ruined everything. 272 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,720 I should have just let it go. This is all my fault. 273 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,320 Well...you didn't kiss Euan. 274 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,960 Look. Um, things were a bit weird 275 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,840 the last time I saw you and I just... I want... 276 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,240 Oh, my God! 277 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,960 Hey, Neshy. 278 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,200 I'm going to... 279 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:06,440 I know that you and I have had somewhat of a chequered past 280 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,000 and you're very upset that Evie kissed someone... 281 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,840 It's not about her kissing someone. 282 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,160 It's that she didn't tell me. 283 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,120 Anyway, what are you doing here, Nina? 284 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,720 We both know you've never liked me. 285 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,760 - Was it very obvious? - Yes! 286 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:28,600 I've tried everything to connect to you spiritually. 287 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,480 Pasta from Firenze. 288 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:34,760 Tea! I brewed you my finest lapsang souchong! 289 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,640 And the other day, when I read you my vows, 290 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:38,080 I opened up my soul like a tap! 291 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,360 I know, but it's... 292 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,600 But nothing worked. 293 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,480 It was never about me. 294 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,760 Evie's engagement hit your life like an asteroid. 295 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,760 And you just couldn't bear to let her go. 296 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,120 Maybe you're right. 297 00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:01,840 I called you a soya boy wet wipe and a host of other things. 298 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,280 It was only because it felt like 299 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,160 everything you were doing was pretend. 300 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,600 It-it felt like you were constantly pretending 301 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,840 and that's really confusing! 302 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,080 Have you ever actually been to Firenze? 303 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,920 - SHE GASPS - But it is on my "to-do" list. 304 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,560 That betrayal aside... 305 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,560 ..I was wrong. 306 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,160 I was wrong about you. 307 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,600 This is you and it's all right. 308 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,680 It's all right! You're allowed to eat a kebab. 309 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,880 I mean, it's bad for your gut biome, but you like it 310 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,320 and it tastes delicious and Evie loves kebabs! 311 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:39,960 Oh, no! No, no, she doesn't! 312 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,640 She finds them too heavy and greasy! 313 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,720 That's a lie! She loves kebabs! 314 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:47,520 I've watched her throwback 'babs with the best of them! 315 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,480 I can't believe I'm going to say this. 316 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,160 You and her are perfect for each other. 317 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,400 You're meant to be. 318 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,720 Will you please come talk to Evie? 319 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,040 I think he's got quite a nice arse. 320 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,080 Mm. It's only concave in pictures. 321 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,760 Hurry up, Sauce Pervert. 322 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:27,520 Hello, Nina. Lee. Ranesh. Everyone's waiting in the garden. 323 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,560 The celebrant says they have a tight turnaround. 324 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,120 Amber, they need to talk first. 325 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,400 OK. Why don't you go and remove the mayonnaise from the groom's hair? 326 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,520 Hmm. OK. 327 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,560 So Evie does know, but... 328 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,120 Amber, I told you not to tell her! 329 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,240 Nina! I've been MOH eight times before, 330 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:45,960 this is not my first jilting. 331 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,520 I know what I'm doing. 332 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,800 I mean, Evie did sort of try to run away. She was very stressed. 333 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,720 But I managed to catch her. 334 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:57,360 We had a very productive dialogue and calmly resolved the situation. 335 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,440 THUDDING 336 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,440 Amber, where's Evie? 337 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,400 BANGING 338 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,360 You locked me in the shed, Amber! 339 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:13,440 - Oh, no. Are you, like, angry that I locked you in a shed? - No. 340 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,480 I'm fucking furious! 341 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,480 AMBER LAUGHS 342 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,600 I'm going to go... 343 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,040 ..change my tampon. 344 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:24,720 She's... 345 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,160 ..dedicated. 346 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:30,800 He literally ran away from me. 347 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,400 That's true, but he came back. 348 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,800 - He did? - Mm. 349 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:38,480 He didn't have to, but he came back and he wants to speak to you. 350 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,200 - Oh, he's never going to forgive me. - Of course he will. 351 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,080 How do you know that? 352 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,440 Because... 353 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,840 ..you're easy to forgive, Evie. 354 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,480 About that stuff that I said the other day... 355 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:58,040 It's fine. It was... 356 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:01,560 It was your turn to be blunt and interesting. 357 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:05,760 No. I was nasty and I really regret it. 358 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,440 I'm really sorry. 359 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,800 I know. 360 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,079 Right. You're going to go in there, 361 00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:16,720 you're going to be 100% honest with each other. 362 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,119 No shenanigans, 363 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,359 no nonsense. 364 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:21,680 Just be Evie. 365 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,400 Preferably in the next nine minutes. 366 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,319 - OK. - OK. 367 00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:31,480 - You've got this! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Mm-hm. - You're good. 368 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,800 - Nah, you can't see it at all. - Right. 369 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,200 There and there. 370 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,480 Thank you. 371 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,160 Hi. 372 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,520 Hi. 373 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,320 - Come on, Lee. - Er, can you stay? 374 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,680 CHAIRS CREAK 375 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:12,800 I could stand here 376 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,560 and say that I respect every decision a woman makes, 377 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,440 - but I'm not going to do that. - OK. 378 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:22,240 Because I'm hurt that you kissed someone and didn't tell me. 379 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,480 You've made a mockery of all that we've built together 380 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,840 - over the last 12 weeks. - But that kiss, it was just... 381 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,200 No. It's not about the kiss. 382 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:32,160 It's about being open and honest with one another in perpetuity. 383 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:36,120 That's what you're supposed to do when you want to be with someone. 384 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:38,840 - So we just need... - I'm obsessed with Real Housewives! 385 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,400 Sometimes I wish I was a housewife. 386 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:49,840 I'm 30 and I am genuinely terrified of my dad. 387 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,040 WHISPERS: He is scary. 388 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,600 I have never seen a Sofia Coppola film. 389 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,360 - I've never seen a Sofia Coppola film! - Shut up! 390 00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:59,960 I've actually shat myself on multiple Greek islands! 391 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,880 I have no idea what a gut biome is. 392 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,360 I have no friends! Apart from a woman that can't be 393 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,280 within 50 feet of the kid from Love Actually. 394 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,880 - That's Amber, not me. - Right. 395 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:13,680 I have auditioned for Britain's Got Talent four times! 396 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,800 And I'm really scared that I'm boring. 397 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:23,840 I know on the outside I'm this sweet, sassy, confident redhead, 398 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,680 who's a perfect mix of Carrie and Charlotte all at once, 399 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:31,600 But inside, there's a part of me that is really horrible 400 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:35,960 and ugly and destructive and it scares me. 401 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,800 Me too! 402 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,320 - Wow! - Wow! - Wow! 403 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,040 - Yeah! - God, that was better than an ultramarathon! 404 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,480 We should just tell each other exactly what we're thinking 405 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,120 and feeling every second of every day. 406 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,520 That's not practical. 407 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:54,040 - No more lies! Ever! - Ever! We'll share everything! 408 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:57,640 Will you marry me? 409 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,640 Yeah. 410 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,080 Go on, then. 411 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,160 You may now kiss the bride. 412 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 413 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:23,360 # This is where I lay my heart 414 00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:26,960 # Is where I lay my heart 415 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:31,480 # Is where I lay my heart... # 416 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:41,880 # By yon Bonnie banks and by yon Bonnie braes 417 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:49,040 # Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond 418 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:56,080 # Where me and my true love will never meet again... # 419 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,440 You look happy. 420 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,400 - I did it, lurch! - Did what? 421 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,840 I broke up with Hilda! 422 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,320 No! 423 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,160 Something about that ceremony just really touched a nerve. 424 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,040 Oh, bawbag! 425 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,880 You know, there's no going back now. 426 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,960 Ah! I've ruined my life. 427 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,280 No, you haven't! No! Don't phone her. 428 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,720 She's like the world's most boring witch. 429 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,280 Her only spell is making you feel sad! 430 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,040 She's Dr Dunne it! 431 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:33,120 We're so proud of you, darling! Mwah! 432 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,160 - How did you find out? - Evie's been telling everyone. 433 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,200 My daughter. A doctor! 434 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,600 Mum, I got my post-doctorate, like, four years ago. 435 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,800 - I know. I just like saying it. - THEY CHUCKLE 436 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:46,440 To the Isle of Wight! 437 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,320 Isle of, Isle of, Isle of fucking Wight! 438 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,560 Isle of, Isle of, Isle of fucking Wight! 439 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:58,120 Isle of, Isle of, Isle of fucking Wight! 440 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:08,480 You two are like gonky Normal People. 441 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,560 Hmm. Abnormal People. 442 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,720 - Don't phone her! - Roger that. 443 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,440 Me, I'm going to go and Roger that. 444 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,040 Gets right in there! 445 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,600 You're not going to ask me to dance, are you? 446 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,720 - Absolutely not. - OK, good! 447 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,080 So... 448 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:36,200 ..I'm, er...I'm guessing you got the post doc, then? 449 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,960 How do you know? 450 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:42,520 "Isle of, Isle of, Isle of fucking Wight!" 451 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:43,960 It's great news. 452 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:46,880 Are you going to take it? 453 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,360 I think so. 454 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,480 - I mean, I know so, yeah. - Yeah. 455 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,440 You were going to say something, 456 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,560 when you, um...turned up at my door with flowers. 457 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,680 I did pull away from you. 458 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,280 I don't usually get to this bit, Nina. 459 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:15,000 I just feel like you get me and not everyone does. 460 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,800 And then you asked me out and I was buzzing 461 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,920 and then you say, "I'm going to the Isle of Wight," 462 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,760 And I thought, "All right. Well... 463 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,360 "Well, that's that done, then." 464 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,280 I confused you? 465 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:31,680 I've been confusing? 466 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,000 Usually, I'm the straightforward one. 467 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,440 Didn't occur to me that I could have both. 468 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:43,360 Well, we can. 469 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,880 But do you want both things? 470 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,280 It's like... 471 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:50,880 ..I can see the dig. 472 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:55,360 And I want so badly to be part of a discovery that's bigger than me 473 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:58,320 and bigger than my life will ever be, but... 474 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,240 ..I also...I want you. 475 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,760 I really want to give this a try. 476 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:10,640 But I'm not good with people and I'm not good at relationships. 477 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:14,480 Well, that sounds like an unproven hypothesis. 478 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:20,640 It would be silly to start something romantic. 479 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:25,160 Yep. And we don't even know what this is yet, so it's, um... 480 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,520 - Reckless? - ..illogical. 481 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,720 Illogical. 482 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,600 Sometimes life isn't logical. 483 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,680 Knutsford! 484 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:51,960 What? 485 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:53,360 Knutsford. 486 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:57,120 It's...it's 225 miles from Glasgow 487 00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,240 and it's 225 miles from the Isle of Wight. 488 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,000 Slap bang in the middle. 489 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,320 And, er, yeah, I searched that online. 490 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,160 And you wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure that out. 491 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:12,160 Anyway, if we want to make this work, then... 492 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,440 ..why don't we meet there? In a year's time. 493 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,400 My post doc is only six months. 494 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,800 OK. 495 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,760 Six months. Knutsford! 496 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,880 Well, by then I'll probably just be back in Glasgow, 497 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,240 - so we could just... - Nina, I'm being romantic. 498 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:29,840 - Knutsford. - Knutsford. 499 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,200 I want to go. 500 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,040 I should probably go too. 501 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,880 Imagine if I just hung about after you left?! 502 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,720 - I won't. - You can if you want. My family like you. 503 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,040 - Nina? - Hmm? 504 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:57,440 I'll miss you. 505 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:58,960 I'll miss you too. 506 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,360 Good luck. 507 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,760 Night-night, bawbag! 508 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,360 - Bye, Nina. - Bye, Nina. 509 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,440 Nina! 510 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,200 Did you see Bo and Amber?! 511 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,040 Yeah! Do you know what? He's got a type. 512 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,360 - Out of the frying pan... - Hmm. 513 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,280 I keep thinking, 514 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,560 what if they don't have Wheat Puffs on the Isle of Wight? 515 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,360 No, I checked. Nearly every major supermarket in the UK sells them. 516 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,280 - But you'll pack some? - Yes. - Just to be safe. - Yes. 517 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:00,920 Were you trying to sneak off without saying bye? 518 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:04,080 You know, you'll be away by the time I get back from my honeymoon. 519 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,680 Yeah. 520 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,320 I wanted to, but you looked like you were having fun. 521 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,400 Plus, I've got a job to accept, and I'm exhausted. 522 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:18,840 I should get back... 523 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,480 ..to my husband. 524 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,480 SHE LAUGHS 525 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:23,240 OK. 526 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:27,800 Bye, Nina. 527 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,760 # You reach 528 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:55,280 # But your feet never left the ground 529 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:03,120 # Tell somebody 530 00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:06,440 # Please 531 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:09,640 # Please 532 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:13,200 # Please 533 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,200 # Tell somebody 534 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,600 # Please 535 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:23,160 # Please 536 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,520 # Please 537 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,880 # Please 538 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,320 # Please 539 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:37,080 # Please 540 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,400 # Please 541 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:44,000 # Tell somebody 542 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,800 # Tell somebody 543 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:51,520 # Tell somebody 544 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:55,080 # Many bodies feel the drop And everybody go. # 40133

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