Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,080
This programme contains
some strong language
2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:06,920
This isn't about us! This is about
justice, this is about fairness,
3
00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:08,760
this is about the struggle
of the common man.
4
00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:11,160
In an easy-come, easy-go world,
where people are fickle
5
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,920
and faithless, my unwavering
loyalty to you should be recognised.
6
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:15,440
Nay, it should be celebrated.
7
00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:21,920
Fine.
8
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:27,480
But technically, your free eleventh
coffee is meant to be a hot product.
9
00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:29,720
Show me the fine print!
10
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,400
It's tacitly understood.
11
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,640
Not. By. Me.
12
00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:33,840
SHE GASPS
13
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,520
Oh, my God! This is my sister.
14
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:36,720
I don't care.
15
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,800
Thank you, Brian.
16
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,120
I'll see you...
17
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,480
..tomorrow.
18
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:51,920
Evie, what are you doing here?!
19
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,240
Well, I'm not back at work
until tomorrow and I need a day
20
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,920
to come back down to earth after my
city break and I thought, why not
21
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,760
try and catch my big sister on her
coffee break for a little chitchat?
22
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,320
Can't we chitchat after work
in the empty hours?
23
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,000
What's on today's agenda, then?
24
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:08,320
I have a meeting in 45 minutes
about a fossilised shark poo
25
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:10,720
and then I have to catch up
with my colleagues about leaving
26
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,240
perishables in the fridge.
27
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:13,960
- Wow! Unreal!
- Mm.
28
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,680
The slay never stops.
29
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,960
So do you have time for a quick
wander before your meeting?
30
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,720
We could take in the relics
of a lost time?
31
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:21,640
Evie, you said the museum
smells like old man feet.
32
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:23,520
And knowledge, baby.
33
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,080
What has London done to you?
34
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,280
Actually, London was incredible.
35
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,080
I mean, if you don't mind being less
than six foot away from a rat
36
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,280
- or a banker at any given time.
- Eugh.
37
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:34,680
I don't know what's worse.
38
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:35,720
- BOTH:
- Banker.
39
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:36,840
- BOTH:
- Jinx!
40
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,160
THEY LAUGH
41
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,640
Oh, this place is amazing.
42
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,560
You've been here multiple times
since we were children.
43
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:00,800
Never gets old.
44
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:05,000
So something happened in London that
I need to talk to you about.
45
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,640
Something happened in Glasgow.
46
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,280
I had to watch the Real Housewives
reunion without you,
47
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,360
so there was nobody there to
hear my amazing quips.
48
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,080
I can't believe you watched it
without me.
49
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,880
- You were gone all weekend.
- Boo-hoo!
50
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,720
We can watch it again tonight
with my commentary.
51
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,040
- Deal.
- Deal.
52
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,840
Evie, why are you actually here?
You're being weird.
53
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,800
What's wrong with a spontaneous
visit from your loving wee sister?
54
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:28,920
Hmm.
55
00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:31,240
Last time you showed up here
out of the blue, it's cos you'd
56
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,720
burnt your moustache off with Veet
and it'd gone all red and crusty.
57
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,400
At least I try to deal
with my moustache.
58
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,840
I deal with my moustache. Three
months ago I tried backcombing it
59
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,400
- and I looked very distinguished.
- Ooh!
60
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,880
- Right. Nina?
- Mm?
- There's something
I have to tell you.
61
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,720
Why aren't you saying anything?
62
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,120
I'm doing a dramatic pause.
63
00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:59,400
How long do dramatic pauses last?
64
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,880
I'm engaged!
65
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,160
To who?!
66
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,120
- Ranesh.
- Who?!
67
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,240
My partner! We've just
been on a romantic weekend together?
68
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:14,040
The TikTok advertising man with
the concave arse?
69
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,760
He's a creative strategist.
70
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,520
And it's only concave in pictures.
71
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,079
He took me up the Shard, Nina.
72
00:03:21,079 --> 00:03:24,400
It was all disgustingly romantic.
73
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,720
OK, this is where you say, "That's
amazing news, I'm so happy for you!"
74
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,840
It's not amazing news
and I'm not happy for you.
75
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,520
Evie, I'm deeply concerned - you've
only known this man for six weeks.
76
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,160
- That's not enough time.
- Says who?
77
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,040
Evie, you've had thrush that lasted
longer than six weeks!
78
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,960
ECHO REVERBERATES
79
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,600
- MUTTERS:
- It wasn't thrush,
I was just itchy.
80
00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,520
We went though
so much natural yoghurt, Evie.
81
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,040
What about Ranesh
making a casual appearance
82
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,280
at Tuesday night dinner tomorrow?
83
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,880
All just really casual.
84
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,880
Takeaway Tuesday is sacred, Evie.
85
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,640
- You said you would never get
married.
- Did I?
86
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,440
Hmm. It's really just
an excuse for a big fat party.
87
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,160
Yeah, except it's not just
a big party.
88
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:22,520
It's the morning after the party,
89
00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,880
and it's the morning after that
and then the morning after that!
90
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,080
How can you spend the rest
of your life with somebody you've
91
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,880
- only known for six weeks!?
- I know
this all seems crazy to you, right?
92
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,360
But when you are wildly in love
with someone,
93
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,280
you just start to realise that
nothing anyone else thinks matters.
94
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,920
We're just, like,
walking on this knife edge
95
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,920
and we just have to keep going,
because if we don't, we'll fall.
96
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,240
Evie, that sounds horrendous
and painful!
97
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,840
I've never felt this way, Nina.
98
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,080
He's my person.
99
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:53,280
Ugh. Well, Mum and Dad are not going
to be happy about this!
100
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,760
CORK POPS
101
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,760
We're so happy about this!
102
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,400
Now, we know that it's soon,
103
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,960
but we're thinking...
104
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,240
- ..summer wedding?
- Lovely.
105
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:02,720
- That's it?
- What?
106
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,800
She's marrying some man that
none of us have ever met
107
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,520
and that's all you're going to say?
108
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,720
Dad, what if he chokes women
at the weekend?
109
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,040
- Does he choke women on the weekend?
- No! He's in a feminist book group.
110
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,600
Well, there you are.
111
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,120
We'd only known each other
six months when we got married.
112
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,920
Yes, but that was in 1986
when everybody was stupid and you
113
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,720
thought that the feathered mullet
was an all right hairstyle for men.
114
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,520
Oh, I loved my feathered mullet.
115
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,800
Oh, and he's never looked so good.
116
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,000
He looked like Princess Diana!
117
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,400
How long did Romeo and Juliet know
each other before they got married?
118
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:37,640
- 24 hours?
- They were pretend
and then they killed themselves!
119
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,040
Our son-in-law,
120
00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,080
a creative strategist.
121
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,960
What does that mean?!
122
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,600
Well, it means that finally
this family
123
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,560
has got something to celebrate!
124
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,720
Mother, I have three degrees.
125
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:54,040
I am a research assistant
in the palaeontology department.
126
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:58,720
Do you know how many positions there
are for palaeontologists in Glasgow?
127
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,880
There's seven. There's seven
and I am one of them!
128
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,320
Darling, I didn't mean
that you're...
129
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,640
- You're a force of nature, Nina.
- You're an inspiration.
130
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,240
The dinosaurs are lucky to have you.
131
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,560
- Anyway, let's talk venue.
- And what will you wear?
132
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,120
We just want to keep things
super simple,
133
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,200
so I'm thinking I'll wear something
like a second-hand pantsuit.
134
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,600
Because the Wedding Industrial
Complex
135
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,120
- is predatory capitalism,
you know.
- Oh...
136
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,080
If this is about money,
sweet pea...
137
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:23,560
..your dad and me, we've got
138
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,960
a wee bit of money set aside
for the conservatory so...
139
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,840
What? Oh, guys!
140
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,360
That is amazing news
141
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:35,000
because I have had my eye
on the most beautiful designer...
142
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,720
..simple pantsuit.
143
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,880
And what about my wedding fund?
144
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,240
Y-you don't
do relationships, Nina.
145
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,040
You're independent. Like Cher.
146
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,720
Fine then. I would like a party,
of equal value,
147
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,880
to celebrate all of my many great
accomplishments.
148
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,440
THEY LAUGH
149
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,520
Oh, but you're the sensible one.
150
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,960
You don't just plunge
into any crazy old scheme.
151
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,760
SHE CHUCKLES
152
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,720
You think this wedding's crazy?
153
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,360
- No!
- Yes!
- No!
154
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:06,640
What did I miss?
155
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,400
Evie's going to bankrupt
Mum and Dad.
156
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,240
What else is new?
157
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,600
We know you'll miss your sister,
Nina.
158
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,840
But things won't be
all that different.
159
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,160
It's just everyone's acting like
160
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,200
getting engaged is some
sort of big achievement.
161
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,600
You know that Rose West was married
and she was a murderer!
162
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:25,080
Why am I the only person who thinks
this is a terrible, terrible idea?
163
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,560
Because you've eaten Wheat Puffs
for breakfast every single
164
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,400
- day of your life.
- And?
165
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,800
You're the most risk-averse
person on the planet.
166
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:35,600
If I know I like Wheat Puffs, why
would I try other breakfast foods?
167
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,440
Why are you so surprised about this?
This is classic Evie.
168
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,040
Everything she's ever done
has suggested
169
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,040
that this will one day happen.
What, did you think you were just
170
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,720
going to become two old ladies
in that flat together?
171
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,680
I just don't see what
the big rush is.
172
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,720
- Love makes people stupid.
- Hmm.
173
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,280
Oh, fuck!
174
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,320
I forgot to charge Hilda's crystals.
175
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,560
HE MOANS
176
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,560
Bo, if your girlfriend is so bad,
why don't you just get a better one?
177
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:09,160
Mm... Much to think about, Nina.
Thank you.
178
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:13,200
- You're welcome.
- Look, the point is,
Lurch, things are going to change
179
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,040
so how are you going to ever accept
Evie's crazy stupid love
180
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,880
if you won't even try Cheerios?
181
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,040
I don't eat foods with holes,
so the point is moot.
182
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,040
MUSIC: Warpaint
by Lizzie Reid
183
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,400
Don't let me see you put
feathers on that dinosaur, mate.
184
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,080
I know, I know,
"the evidence is undeniable,
185
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:45,320
"dinosaurs had feathers",
but the people, they like scales.
186
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,920
They don't like feathers.
187
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:51,080
Dinos are scary, OK? And feathers,
they're, you know, they're cute.
188
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,880
They're Paw Patrol.
They're Elton John.
189
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,840
Yeah? Basically,
feathers aren't scary.
190
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,640
Do you catch my drift?
That's my guy.
191
00:08:58,640 --> 00:08:59,680
Grr!
192
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:04,560
Nina...
193
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,680
Nina?
194
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:12,720
Nina?
195
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:14,880
SHE CLEARS THROAT
196
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:17,240
- While I've got you,
can I grab a tight five?
- Yep.
197
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,040
Once again, Nina, we've had...
198
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,760
- ..a few comments.
- Nice comments?
199
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,760
So this is just a gentle reminder
that we avoid telling children
200
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,400
that it should be Cretaceous Park,
not Jurassic.
201
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,680
OK? The people have this image
of scientists as these shy nerds
202
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:37,200
in glasses and white coats,
203
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,760
but we're so much more than that,
right?
204
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:43,000
- Yeah.
- So when you insist that
a T-Rex could crunch Granny's spine
205
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,120
like a mid-morning cracker, it fits
with this totally wrong narrative
206
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:51,560
of scientists as antisocial,
rigid and a bit autistic.
207
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:52,800
But I am.
208
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,520
Yeah, but I'm saying we're not that.
209
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,040
- Oh, no, I'm saying I AM that.
- No, I mean...
210
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,480
You're autistic...
211
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:03,840
Yes, of course.
212
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,040
Mm-hm.
213
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,000
I'm pretty sure Declan is, too.
214
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:20,160
Mm... And, erm, are you going to
come team bowling tonight, Nina?
215
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,760
- No.
- No, Nina's got her routine.
216
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,200
She has dinner with her sister
on Tuesday.
217
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,960
It's Takeaway Tuesday at our flat,
and I don't go bowling
218
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,160
because it's full of sweaty
people making noise,
219
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,280
and I don't share shoes with
strangers,
220
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,440
and I don't put my fingers
in bowling ball holes.
221
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,440
It's full of fungus, Shane.
It's disgusting.
222
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,400
Right, well, er, you know,
223
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:44,280
not everyone lives in the fast
lane like us, eh, Declan?
224
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,440
Pull it together, Shane.
225
00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,640
Thanks very much.
226
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,080
You're not the coffee man.
227
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,240
Er, I think I am.
228
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,520
Am I not?
229
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,160
Oh! You're, erm,
you're talking about Brian.
230
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,360
Yeah, he left.
231
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:19,080
- WITH SOUTHERN DRAWL:
- There's a new
coffee sheriff in town.
232
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,320
Me.
233
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,080
Could I get a filter coffee, please?
234
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,360
Oh, do you know what would go
really well with this?
235
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,760
Our new breakfast biscotti.
236
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:37,120
Start your day with a crunch.
237
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,600
I can't eat double baked biscuits.
I've got delicate gums.
238
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,440
Very wise.
239
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,680
I mean, I like to live on the edge,
you know?
240
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:48,000
But not everyone is, er,
into that kind of lifestyle.
241
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,440
No. It's not a lifestyle for people
with vertigo.
242
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:52,560
That's a good point.
243
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,560
How's your day going?
244
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,240
My sister's marrying some
concave-arsed Tinder guy
245
00:11:58,240 --> 00:11:59,640
she's only known for six weeks.
246
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,480
And my parents think it's
a brilliant idea cos
247
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:05,240
they lack critical thinking skills.
And I've lost my favourite pen.
248
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:08,360
Six weeks! That's...
249
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,640
That's mental! What if he, erm...
250
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,640
- ..chokes women at the weekend?
- That's what I said!
251
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:18,480
What's this concave-arsed lad
like then?
252
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:19,760
I don't know.
253
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,240
- You've never met him?
- No.
254
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,560
- But you know you don't like him?
- Yes.
255
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:28,920
Right. This might be out of line,
but, erm...
256
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,440
..and I'm sure he's the...
257
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,960
..worst man in the world,
258
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,440
don't get me wrong, but... Ah!
259
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,360
I like to give people a chance.
260
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,320
But, hey, erm, I'm done.
261
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,000
Just the guy that makes
the coffee so...
262
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,720
Could you make mine, please?
263
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,040
Yes! Yep.
264
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,920
- Thanks.
- Thank you, Sheriff.
265
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,920
Oh, that's, that's...
266
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,120
..good.
267
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:31,040
MUSIC: Requiem in D minor, K 626
by Mozart
268
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,520
CUTLERY SCRAPES
269
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,280
Here it comes.
270
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,280
HE CHUCKLES
271
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,640
- Huh?
- Mmm.
272
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,800
- How's that?
- Oh, my gosh!
- Yeah?
273
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,320
Delish! That's delicious!
274
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:51,680
Sure it is, Nina?
275
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,280
Oh, please.
276
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:56,760
It's just a rustic peasant dish
277
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,440
that I picked up
during my summer in Firenze.
278
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:08,320
I love pasta with tomato sauce.
279
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,760
It's a great combination.
280
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:12,000
Same-sies!
281
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,240
- Oh, I'm just going to, erm,
check on something...
- Sure.
282
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:17,320
..in the other room.
283
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:19,600
SHE MOUTHS
284
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:23,200
SHE CLEARS THROAT
285
00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:26,760
So...
286
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:29,840
Here we are.
287
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,040
THEY CHUCKLE
288
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,320
Oh, Evie mentioned that you've got
autism, which is obviously
289
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:35,520
- super cool...
- Don't say it.
290
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,680
Autism is a superpower.
291
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:41,400
A guy from uni had a bit of it
and he was on Countdown.
292
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,280
- Did he win?
- He died shortly after.
293
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,520
But he did win a Conundrum.
294
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,080
- Neens...
- Nina.
295
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:51,760
..I'd hate for there to be a...
296
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,600
..chasm between us.
297
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:57,080
- The bond between two sisters, well,
it's a holy thing, isn't it?
- Mm.
298
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,840
And, as a man, I couldn't even
begin to understand it.
299
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,360
And then here's me
just coming in here,
300
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,320
ripping your best friend
away from you.
301
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,840
But nothing is going to change.
302
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,200
- Yeah, I know that!
- Not talking about me, are we?
303
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,240
THEY CHUCKLE
304
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,640
So...
305
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,640
..how did this transpire?
306
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,800
Hmm! I'm glad you asked.
307
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,240
- Cool.
- Finding love in a Tinder age
is a miracle, Neens.
308
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:29,080
- Nina.
- All these girls describe
themselves as artsy
309
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:30,800
and cultured on their profiles,
310
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,880
then all they want to
talk about is reality TV.
311
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:36,600
Mmm! Evie's often remarked on the
mindlessness of reality television,
312
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:37,840
haven't you, Evie?
313
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,120
Evie has taught me so much about
the importance of female stories.
314
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,080
Yeah, it's good
when women talk in films.
315
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,120
Our connection on that first date
was instant.
316
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,880
We went to see a feminist
poetry slam at the bandstand.
317
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,120
- Fun.
- Then we stayed so late
and danced all night.
318
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:52,360
THEY LAUGH
319
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,240
Everybody looked at us,
didn't they, babe?
320
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,160
- But we didn't care.
- We didn't even care.
321
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,480
No, I bet you didn't!
322
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,400
And then when she turned up
to London in just a torn
323
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,440
pair of jeans with no make-up bag,
I thought to myself,
324
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,480
"Yeah, there she is.
325
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,440
"My person."
326
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,760
Together, we can move
and shake the world.
327
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,960
It is crazy quick, Neens.
328
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,000
You're not wrong about that, but...
329
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,840
If you don't take any risks...
330
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,680
..how do you know you're even alive?
331
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,360
WHISPERS: Cos you're breathing.
332
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,120
- Nope.
- What are you doing?
333
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,600
Er, I'm going to take a risk.
334
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,280
- You're leaving?
- Yes, sis!
We love to see it!
335
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:29,320
No.
336
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,080
You can't just go, Nina.
337
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,080
We're literally eating
the food of Firenze.
338
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,440
We're supposed to be eating
the food of Takeaway Tuesday.
339
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:40,680
No, no, Evie. No, no.
She is embracing her new self.
340
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,280
Entering her new era.
341
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,680
She's self-actualizing.
342
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:45,480
- We should let her go.
- Where are you even going?
343
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,960
I'm going to go bowling with my
work colleagues like a normal person
344
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,440
- and nobody can stop me.
- No, you're not!
345
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,160
You hate putting
your fingers in the holes.
346
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,880
Yes, well Evie, sometimes we have to
stick our fingers
347
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,080
in holes we don't like.
348
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:58,440
Nina! You'll have to wear
the bowling shoes.
349
00:16:58,440 --> 00:16:59,800
They'll make you.
350
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,640
I don't care!
It's time I did my own thing.
351
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,800
- OK. Well, obviously
I'll support you.
- Thank you.
352
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,000
- Because women should always
support other women!
- Mm-hm.
353
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,440
- No matter what!
- Yes.
354
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,480
Peace out.
355
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,040
DOOR CLOSES
356
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,520
Well, she has completely lost it.
357
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:21,040
I just want to say how honoured
I am to be included in such
358
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,520
a vulnerable conversation
between two sisters.
359
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,960
Hmm. Come on, I'll show you.
360
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,600
It's three spins,
just like the Italians do it.
361
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,640
- Ooh!
- There you go. Perfection.
362
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,440
I'm going to wear my own shoes.
363
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,200
But...
364
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,200
Oh, Nina! Over here! Nina!
365
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,240
We're here! You've finally
come along!
366
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,440
Get stuck in!
367
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,200
Excuse me, Shane,
368
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:14,600
as per our booking form,
369
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,240
all players have to wear
bowling shoes.
370
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,600
I don't wear bowling shoes.
371
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,120
Yeah, if Nina doesn't want to wear
bowling shoes, Roxanne,
372
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:23,440
that's, like, you know,
totally OK with all of us.
373
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,320
I looked it up. And in every other
bowling alley in the world,
374
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:27,800
a flat soled shoe will suffice.
375
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,560
It might be a different story
in other bowling alleys, but here,
376
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:34,800
at Bowling-For-U, when we bowl, so
help me God, we wear bowling shoes.
377
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,640
I'm sorry, Nina. Roxanne's right.
378
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,920
I mean, I'd let you,
but it's these pesky rules. Grr!
379
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,880
I'm going to fight zombies.
380
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,000
Did you know they actually
use these games
381
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,840
to scout for government assassins?
382
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,760
Jesus, Declan! Announce yourself.
383
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:58,800
Gun up!
384
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:03,040
I thought you had takeaways
with your sister on Tuesdays?
385
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,480
Yeah, that's what I thought
386
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,280
and then I had to meet Ranesh
and I didn't want to meet Ranesh
387
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,240
because I thought
he was going to be annoying,
388
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,600
and then I met Ranesh
and it turns out, he is annoying.
389
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,680
And he's ruined
Tuesday night Takeaway with his
390
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:14,960
"pasta from Firenze"!
391
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,680
And everything's changed because
Evie wants to walk on a knife edge!
392
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,680
And since I've been
forced against my will to find
393
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,200
a new activity for a Tuesday night,
I decided to come bowling,
394
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,480
where I'm being told I have to wear
shoes full of disease.
395
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,640
Bowling shoes are full of disease.
396
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,160
You're right about that.
397
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,680
If you agree that bowling shoes are
disgusting, why do you come here?
398
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:37,360
Gemma wants me
to put myself forward more at work.
399
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,640
Who's Gemma?!
400
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,720
Gemma, my wife of 23 years.
401
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,920
- Oh.
- Anyway, I like bowling.
402
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,200
And I'm good at it -
it's my flexible elbows.
403
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,280
Evie said I wouldn't be able
to bowl, and she's right.
404
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,960
People like to put things in boxes.
405
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:58,200
Look at Shane - he can't even accept
that dinosaurs had feathers,
406
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,000
because he doesn't remember it
from Jurassic Park!
407
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,160
And look at you.
408
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,560
Nobody thought you'd ever come to
Team Building bowling,
409
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:05,960
but here you are.
410
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,520
You're a dinosaur with feathers.
411
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,360
The people we love won't ever
understand how hard it can be
412
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,880
to do these things,
but we do them anyway.
413
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,080
For them.
414
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:29,000
And, after years of experimentation,
I've come up with a neat trick.
415
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,280
The old double sock.
416
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,720
Declan, it is a travesty that
your genius is yet to be recognised.
417
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,880
Don't let them put you in a box.
418
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,320
I'll try.
419
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:45,720
And I'll bowl.
420
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,880
But I'm going to wear my own shoes.
421
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,720
- VOICE ON GAME:
- Finish him!
422
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,160
- VOICE ON GAME:
- Final round!
423
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,440
ZOMBIES GROAN
424
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,840
- VOICE ON GAME:
- New high score!
425
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:02,000
Coloured balls - why are they all
that colour?
426
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,960
It's green I recognise, then
straight down the middle...
427
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:10,200
Shane, what is she doing?
Where are her shoes?!
428
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,320
I am self-actualising!
429
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,720
SHE GAGS, STRAINS
430
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:25,040
CHEERING
431
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,760
Yay! You got a strike! Amazing!
432
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:34,640
MUSIC: Beginner's Luck
by Former Champ
433
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,960
Marvellous.
434
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,840
INAUDIBLE
435
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,840
- Hi.
- Hiya.
436
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,200
- I've left you some pasta.
- Thank you.
437
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,440
EVIE CLEARS THROAT
438
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,440
How was your night?
439
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,640
Yeah. Erm, it was good.
440
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,520
I killed a bunch of zombies.
441
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,280
And then I got a strike.
442
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:19,320
And I talked to my colleagues about
how tired they are all the time.
443
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,000
- Sounds like a mad one.
- Mm.
444
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:27,920
Oh, my God! Evie, this is so good!
445
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,160
I know, right?!
446
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,720
He makes good pasta!
447
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,080
Yeah!
448
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,280
THEY LAUGH
449
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,200
I'm really sorry about earlier.
450
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,640
Dinner and everything.
451
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,520
I think it was probably
a bit too much too soon.
452
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,720
As much as I think it's unhinged
and that Mum and Dad have lost their
453
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:56,440
absolute minds, if you want me to
get on board with your wedding...
454
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,880
..then I'll do it.
455
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,120
I'll do it for you, Evie.
456
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,240
I'd really like that.
457
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,160
OK.
458
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:11,640
And...I'll make an effort with
Ranesh.
459
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:16,400
Even though he is, arguably,
the most irritating man alive!
460
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,520
Aww, Nina! You remembered his name!
461
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:22,760
Neens! You're back
from conquering your Everest!
462
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,280
- Hello!
- Hi!
463
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,720
Your pasta slaps!
464
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,440
Great! Did you ask her yet?
465
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,080
Oh, yeah, erm...
466
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,120
OK. Nina, there's something that
I want to talk to you about.
467
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:44,080
OK. As you know, I love Mad Amber
and Lulu and Luella and Lara.
468
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,040
They're, like, the best girls ever
and I'd literally die for them.
469
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,200
But they've only known me
for a wee bit of time
470
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:50,760
and there's someone else,
471
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:55,440
someone who's pretty spectacular
who's known me for my whole life.
472
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:03,920
- Who?
- You, you numpty!
473
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,840
- Oh.
- So, Nina...
474
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,240
..will you be my Maid of Honour?!
475
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,640
- Yeah!
- Yeah, you'll do it?
- Yeah!
476
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,840
Yes. She said yes!
I heard yes! She said yes!
477
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:24,400
- That was a yes!
- She said it!
- Oh, Nina!
- Oh, my God!
478
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,960
- Oh, my God!
- Yes! I predicted it!
- You can choose the hen do!
479
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,000
You could do bowling if you like
that now, yes?
480
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,040
There's going to be dress fittings,
cake, flowers...
481
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,440
- We can do make-up trials!
- It'll be amazing. Loads of flowers!
482
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,360
You should get your bangs back!
Twins!
483
00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:37,280
You could pick fidget spinners
for the table.
484
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,320
We want it to be a fully
inclusive wedding.
485
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:40,600
It's going to be so much fun!
486
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,080
So much fun! The bestest fun!
487
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,280
- The bestest much fun EVER!
- This is the best day of my life!
488
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,240
The best sister ever!
489
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:52,320
# I went for a stroll after dark
490
00:24:54,960 --> 00:25:00,200
# I thought of you and her
while staring at the black
491
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:07,640
# I didn't have you down
for being easily led
492
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:11,040
# The girl well-read. #
38109
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.