Original subtitles

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,

possible 459, suspects there now.

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12, a 415, man with a gun.

1-Adam-12, no warrant. Lincoln, X-Ray, Ida 483.

1-Adam-12, a 415, fight group with chains and knives.

He's got a pretty fair-sized office.

It's a lot plainer than you'd think though,

not a lot of pictures around or anything.

There's a desk at one end and this round table at the other.

That's where we sat.

How many were there?

Seven of us, all probationers.

Hey, Reed? Yeah.

What's the scam? Did he give you any inside dope?

I'm afraid not.

Well, c'mon, how'd it go?

Let me tell you. I mean, it was something I wanna tell you.

I guess that means things weren't all right.

Yeah.

I'm going to the coffee room

Wait a second. I'll go with you.

Well, you could give us some idea.

Well, once we got going, we talked about everything,

overtime, recruiting, community relations.

But mostly, though, it was the training program.

You guys better shake it up.

Right.

Oh, we were with him for over two hours.

No kidding?

I went right at 9:00 and didn't get out till after 11:00.

Boy's pretty revved up, isn't he?

Ah, it's a big deal for him, getting to meet the Chief face to face.

1-Adam-12. P.M. watch. Clear.

1 Adam-12, clear.

So then we went in and we met the Chief.

He's real nice, real friendly.

Yeah, you told us that.

Yeah, I guess I did at roll call.

That's right.

Looks just like his pictures, you know.

So you said about 10 minutes ago.

Yeah.

He's a lot taller than you expect, though.

Why fight it?

Huh?

Nothin'. Go ahead. Tell me again. I mightn't have gotten it all the first time

Well, I was a little nervous at first.

A little nervous? You were practically a basket case yesterday

just thinking about it.

I guess so.

But I didn't trip or spill anything or get tongue-tied.

I kinda thought you'd make it.

He does this pretty regularly, you know, meets with some officers.

He wanted to know what we thought about the training program

at the Academy now that we're on the field.

He had to do most of the talking at first.

Everybody else was uptight, wouldn't say much except

"Yes, sir" and "Real great, sir."

Then he came around to me and asked me what I thought. I spoke right up.

Told him what was on my mind. Didn't hold back.

What did you say?

I told him it was great. Just great.

Really laid it on the line, huh?

Oh, yeah.

You sure you weren't too blunt?

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12, see the woman. A stolen vehicle report.

7149, Garden View Terrace.

1-Adam-12, roger.

Did you call the police?

I sure did. Come right in.

And, uh...

Oh, uh, and, uh...

Just throw all those things on the floor and, uh, sit down.

And here, sit down.

I've been meaning to get rid of all this stuff,

you know, but I've been so busy.

You want to tell us about your car?

Some clown stole my wheels. That's what happened!

What's your name, Miss?

Jane Agnes Tipton.

Uh, T-I-P-T-O-N.

What kind of a car is it?

Ford. About, um, 1958, somewhere in there.

And I need it back by 6:00 or 6:30 at the very latest.

I'm afraid we can't guarantee anything like that.

You can't?

Well, when can you get it back?

We'll do the best we can but it may take a little time. How did this happen?

Well, I was... I was coming back here and I stopped at the liquor store,

it's about two blocks up the street.

Harley's?

That's the one. And I ducked in there for some cigarettes

and right back out again.

And, like, two minutes tops, and my car was gone.

Were the keys in the ignition?

Well, sure. Where else?

What's the license number?

I don't know.

Well, don't you have it written down someplace?

What for?

Are you the sole owner?

Yes.

You don't owe any money on the car, do you?

On that heap?

Nobody in his right mind would lend me a quarter on it.

Shoot. Nobody in his right mind would steal it.

Ah, about the car...

See, I-I've got to have my wheels tonight, because I've got a date

and, like, I don't know this clown.

I mean, he sounds okay over the phone and everything, you know,

but I've gotten some real bombs that way.

If we could just stay with the report a minute?

Well, I-I'm trying to tell you w-why I need my car.

Because, like, if the thing goes sour,

I'm gonna wanna split, you dig?

Do you have the pink slip?

Mmm, it's in the glove compartment.

This town is really full of nuts.

But I don't have to tell you guys.

Don't you know you're not supposed to leave the pink slip in the car?

No kidding.

We can probably get some of this information from your insurance policy.

Oh, yeah.

It's around here somewhere.

Wow.

All I've been coming up with lately is nuts and squares

like you wouldn't believe.

Do you have a gas credit card?

Uh-huh.

Do you have any of the receipts? I mean the license would be on them.

Oh, no, man.

I mean, like, I throw 'em out,

you know, a block or two later.

Well, because, uh, the guy goes to the trouble

of making 'em out for you

and giving 'em to you, you don't want to hurt his feelings, do you?

Must be in my lock box.

How long ago was the car stolen?

Oh, half an hour, 25 minutes ago.

What color is it?

Ivory off toward cream.

White. What body style?

Convertible. I don't know. What the heck?

I may just take a chance and go out tonight anyway.

See, I got this guy out of one of these services.

You know the bit with the computer? Well, when he called...

If we could stick with the car. Is it a '58?

Y-Yeah.

Uh, may I use your phone, Miss Tipton?

Oh, sure. It's in the kitchen on the wall.

They'll have to teletype Sacramento.

Yeah and I'll get the D.R.

Were you alone in the car?

Uh-huh.

Um,

I suppose you're married?

No.

You don't look like a nut.

Thanks.

Did you notice anybody hanging around the outside of the liquor store

when you went in?

Mmm, yeah, a couple of guys.

Were they still there when you came out?

No, I don't think so.

Can you describe 'em?

I didn't even hardly look at them.

I mean, they were too young.

Do you dig Shankar?

Afraid not.

Do you surf?

No. Look, if you don't mind...

Would you tell me what your birth date is?

How about if we just finish the report, huh?

Well, come on, it'll only take two seconds.

March 17th.

Oh, Pisces.

You're all hung up.

Now, you know, this guy, Bert,

that comes out of the computer thing, you know,

he... he matches up perfectly.

I mean, well, I... I... I checked him out over the phone, you know,

and we groove on just about everything.

Science is wonderful.

Oh, yeah, out of sight.

So, look, I'll, uh, stick around here until about 6:15

so you can call me when you come up with the car.

It may take a matter of days.

Well, come on, I told you what it looks like,

a white 1958 Ford.

How many do you think there are?

Probably quite a few. And without the license number...

Where do you get the car serviced?

Down at Jackson and Martin's Super, Super Service.

Uh, Ernie's the name of the guy that takes care of me.

He's kind of a nut, you know, but he does his mechanical thing real great.

Why?

They may have left one of their service stickers on the door.

It might help us to identify the car.

Oh, yeah. Groovy.

But, hey, you won't have any trouble identifying it. Just look in the trunk.

The trunk?

Yeah. Oh, Arthur's in there.

Who?

Arthur, my snake.

Your snake.

Uh-huh.

What kind of snake is it?

A boa constrictor.

I'd better phone in a supplemental.

That just might be a good idea.

Uh, Miss Tipton, how big is Arthur?

He's about eight feet.

Um, and, uh, when you open the trunk,

would you be a little careful?

You can count on it.

Uh, well, what I mean is Arthur's shedding see,

and, like, he's a little irritable.

All units. Additional on a stolen vehicle.

A white 1958 Ford convertible, license unknown.

There is an eight-foot boa constrictor in the trunk. Approach with caution.

1-Adam-12. Clear.

1-Adam-12. Clear.

Malloy?

No.

What do you mean, "no?"

No, I don't want to spend the rest of the watch trying to figure out

why anybody would keep a boa constrictor as a house pet.

You gotta admit it's pretty weird.

Ah, it could be worse. Arthur might've been a cobra.

Malloy, a car with a snake in it? What goes?

You mean Arthur?

Who's Arthur?

That's his name. The snake's.

Belongs to a girl over on Garden View.

What is she, some kind of squirrel?

Don't be narrow-minded.

She says he's a pet.

Lies up on the mantle most of the time.

Yeah, kind of like a conversation piece.

What the heck is she doing with him in the car?

She was bringing him back from the veterinarian.

Hey, what if we get lucky and find this car? What do we do with Arthur?

He's afraid of 'em.

I can't help it. I don't like 'em.

Call the Department of Animal Regulation.

Yeah but I mean, while we're waiting for them to get there.

Oh, you don't have to worry about it.

Arthur'll take care of the whole thing for you.

Pow! One shot, and it's all over.

You cut it out, will you?

Well, boas aren't poisonous.

No, they're the kind that grab you and start squeezing and never let go.

She says she's had him for a while.

Claims he's pretty friendly most of the time.

You might try talking nice to him,

tickle him under the chin.

Uh, she did say that he bit the vet.

Any white Fords we find, partner,

the trunk is all yours.

Smoke. You smell it?

Yeah.

It's coming from off over there.

Down there, the third house.

Yeah, I see it.

Has anybody called the Fire Department?

Beats me.

917!

1-Adam-12. A fire at a two-story...

Is there anybody inside?

I think so, yeah.

Hey! Hey in there!

Hey! Anybody in here?

Malloy!

Here!

There's another one inside.

Who got us out?

They did.

You're sure you're all right?

Yeah.

We can take you down and check you over.

No, I didn't get much smoke. I didn't either.

They're both hypes, you know.

I saw the tracks on their arms.

The other guy was so stoned he didn't even know he was on fire.

Hey.

I want to thank you. You saved our lives.

You guys in the Fire Department,

man, I tell you, you're the greatest.

Wrong department, friend. We're the police.

Fuzz! Lousy, stinking fuzz.

Don't give it another thought.

1-Adam-12, requesting want.

D.M.V. on Lincoln,

Nora, Ida 452.

1-Adam-12, roger. Lincoln, Nora, Ida 452.

The hood's still warm. You know, they have been known to ditch cars up here.

And the trunk was open.

Arthur was in there. He could've crawled out.

Yeah.

We better take a look around. If I remember right, they don't travel far.

They like to climb trees.

Drop down on things.

Thanks. Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?

No, that's all I remember.

Excuse me, sir, is this your car?

Yeah.

May I see your driver's license, please?

I had some stuff to drop off. I wasn't too sure of the address,

so I just pulled over and walked back.

Nothing wrong in that, is there?

No.

Registered to Timothy, E as in Edward, Perry.

2212 South Central, Culver City.

1-Adam-12, roger.

Thank you very much, Mr. Perry. We were just checking.

Sorry to bother you, Mr. Perry. We stopped you

because we're looking for a stolen car that happens to be the same as yours.

No problem. I understand.

I just realized something all at once

Yeah?

I don't like snakes much any more.

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12, see the man.

A neighbor dispute. 1616, West Manor Drive.

And if she turns that water on again, there's going to be real trouble!

That's enough! That's enough! Now just go on inside.

You called the police? I sure did.

Well, big deal.

Marjorie, for Pete's sake, cut it out!

Now just go on inside.

Big deal.

Did you call the police?

Yeah. What's the problem?

It's been going on about an hour. His wife and mine.

It's been going on a lot longer than that.

Let's not you and me fight, Cliff.

It's been building up for a couple of weeks.

Did you get Doris inside?

Yeah. She's drying off.

I guess it's all over.

He put a new sprinkler in the back yard. And Marjorie,

that's my wife, complains it gets her wash wet.

Well, they've been going around and around about it.

And this afternoon, I mean to tell you, it hit the fan.

Doris turned the sprinkler on, we've been having this dry spell.

Next thing I know, Marjorie comes tearing

out of the house and turns the hose on Doris.

We've been trying to break it up ever since.

We dragged them inside twice, I mean, just picked them up and dragged them.

Got everything turned off and the next thing you know, they're back at it again.

Dames.

Is it pretty well settled now?

Yeah, I think the idea of the police kinda scared 'em, though.

Yeah, made an impression.

If you have any more problems, just give us a call.

I can stand here...

Oh, yeah, well, I can keep it on as long as you can, too.

Doris!

Can't you keep that stupid wife of yours inside the house?

I've had about enough from both of you.

Get off my place!

All right, knock it off. Cool it.

Lemme see you do that again.

All right, c'mon, c'mon.

Bring it on. I oughta park you. Just one.

I'll book the first one that throws a punch.

Okay, okay.

Now, Mr. Rankin, you go into your house.

I'm telling you right now, they won't listen to you.

We'll get it settled somehow.

That's all settled.

You seem to have communicated pretty well.

No problem.

Would you mind telling me how you managed that?

Well, first I told them if they didn't quiet down, I'd have to take 'em in.

Didn't seem to make any difference.

I'll bet.

Then I told them they'd have their pictures taken down at the station

exactly the way they looked. That calmed 'em right down.

I'll have to remember that.

A little elementary feminine psychology.

Ford convertible.

'58.

He sure swiveled around when he saw us. Let's have a talk with him.

What's the trouble, Officer?

May I see your license, please?

Sure.

I'd like to take a look at the registration, too, Mr. Barth.

Oh. Sure thing.

Hey, you know, I'd sure like to know what this is all about.

Is this your right address?

Uh, darn it, no.

I moved a couple of months ago.

You know you're supposed to notify the Department of Motor Vehicles

and have the license changed.

I clean forgot about it.

Does the car belong to you?

No, not exactly, you see, it's like this.

It's my brother-in-law's, Adolph Herron,

and, uh, Ade lets me use it.

I'd better run it.

Yeah, he's sure hinky about something.

1-Adam-12 requesting...

Step out of the car, please.

You know, it's... it's in here somewhere.

Don't worry, I'll find it.

D.M.V. shows not in file.

Yeah.

What do you think? Is it the right car?

No telling. But it's got a Jackson and Martin service sticker on the door.

Only one way to find out for sure.

Would you open up the trunk please, Mr. Barth?

What for?

I wanna look inside.

You know, it's just the usual stuff.

What do you think I've got back there, a dead body or something,

just 'cause I can't find the registration?

No.

You've got to have a reason. You can't just search a man's car without a reason.

We've got one.

A car of this description has been reported stolen.

According to our information, there's a snake in the trunk.

A snake! You gotta be kidding!

There's sure no snake in this trunk. I'd know if there was one, wouldn't I?

What are you guys trying to pull?

Nothing. I'm giving it to you straight.

If this is the car we're looking for, the driver doesn't know

he's carrying a snake. I can't let you go till we get this settled

one way or the other.

So, let's just make sure about that boa constructor, Mr. Barth. You got the keys?

I guess you found what you're fishing for.

No, but it'll do.

Marijuana, about half a pound.

Turn around.

Yeah, man, we stopped one too.

So did we.

Every old white Ford in town must've been out tonight.

I tell you, we were sweating when we went through the trunk.

Shotgun out, the whole bit.

Oh, yeah. Nothing.

Guess nobody turned the right car, after all.

We did.

Yeah, what happened?

You know that call went down about an hour ago, man screaming?

Yeah.

What it was, a couple of guys working on a car in a garage, stripping it.

All they had was a work-light. That's when they found Arthur.

They were both on top of the car screaming at him when we got there.

And very glad to see you, I'll bet.

I never felt so well liked in my life.

What happened to Arthur?

Oh, we found him. We spent the next five minutes peeling him off each other.

Didn't hurt him though. He sure seemed glad to get back into that trunk.

Now, we got a bust on possession and you guys got a couple of car thieves.

Good old Arthur.

You know, he's not so bad, once you get used to him.