Original subtitles

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,

possible 459, suspects there now.

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12,

a 415, man with a gun.

1-Adam-12, no warrant. Lincoln, X-Ray, Ida 483.

1-Adam-12, a 415, fight group with chains and knives.

Hey man, how was vacation?

Just terrific.

But I really put a lot of miles on that heap of mine.

Went all the way up to Redwood Highway,

then over to Sacramento,

up to Tahoe, down to Vegas and back.

20,000 times 8%, let's see...

Uh, that's not right.

Maybe I should just take...

No, no, look, you had it right the first time.

But, you didn't divide by 30 years.

Now look, if you don't divide it,

how are you gonna know how much it is per year, huh?

I don't think either of you guys know what you're doin'.

It seems to me that you have to multiply 30 times 12,

and then divide to get your right answer.

No.

Look, do I add the points in now or do I add 'em to the 20,000?

Maybe, I should just take this figure here and...

Are you guys playing monopoly or trying to figure the U.S. budget?

Hi, Malloy.

No, I'm trying to figure out how much it'll cost me to buy a house.

You wanna buy a house?

You just finished painting the apartment.

I thought you were all set.

We were, but by the time the third baby arrives,

it's gonna be kind of crowded.

The third baby.

Aren't you rushing things a little?

The first one isn't due for another six months.

Oh, he's plannin' for the future, Malloy. You know.

About this house bit, Malloy, you know it's mostly Jean's idea.

Yeah, I figured.

Women can get themselves kind of worked up over somethin' like that.

It's not that I don't agree with her.

I think it's a good idea,

a house instead of an apartment.

Last Sunday we drove out and looked over this new development.

It's really great.

Everythin' brand-new, and plenty of yard space

where Jean could let the kids play without havin' to watch 'em all the time.

And it's big enough so that someday we could even put a pool in.

Listen, you don't have to convince me.

I think it's a fine idea.

You don't sound too enthusiastic.

It's just that I think you're rushing things a bit.

You know, Reed, you got a long future ahead of you,

and one of the best ways I know to get yourself loused up

is to get into a money hole.

In this job, the raises don't come fast

and they don't come easy.

Yeah, that's something I'm sure gonna have to think about.

So anyhow, if I can get the Cal-Vet loan along with an F.H.A. or a V.A.,

and spread the whole thing over 30 years,

I'll only have to put up $1,000 cash and the house is mine.

Start puttin' all those loans together,

I think your monthly payments might be more than your take-home pay.

Like, how are you gonna eat?

All right. Now, there are only the two of us.

I know, that's why I can't see what you need a house for.

I've gotta plan for the future, don't I?

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12. Unknown trouble.

See the woman, 2238 St. Victor Road.

1-Adam-12, roger.

I feel the same way about you, the day I do...

I don't understand your attitude.

I certainly don't.

I know what you've come over here...

Thelma! I came over here to help you.

To help me!

Ha, listen, you old bag,

just you wait till the cops get here.

Ha! The cops.

Come in, Officers. You come right on in.

Now then, arrest her.

Well, could you tell us what the trouble is, please?

Oh, that Agatha.

She's hiding.

She's hiding someplace!

Oh, I just know she is. That little sneak.

Agatha!

You come out here, wherever you are!

Come out here!

Take it easy, ma'am, please.

Can we have your name, please?

Oh, certainly.

Mrs. Thelma T. Walker.

Why did you call the police, Mrs. Walker?

Why did I call the police?

Because she's a thief, that's why!

Who's a thief?

Agatha's a thief.

Stole my money.

Probably stealing my jewels right now.

Sneak.

Who's Agatha?

Agatha, my neighbor from across the hall.

Who else?

Maybe we'd better try and find her. Is it okay if we have a look around?

Help yourself, Officers.

What's in there?

That's just a little closet.

Hi.

Are you Agatha?

Who else? If it's any of your business.

It seems as if a girl can't have any privacy anymore

without some cop busting in.

What are you doing in the closet?

Everybody's got to be someplace.

Would you come out of there, please?

I'd be delighted.

Can I have your full name?

Agatha Zephyr.

Agatha R. Zephyr.

Miss or Mrs.?

So I'm a widow.

Is there some law against it?

No, ma'am.

Mrs. Walker says you took some money from her.

She says I took...

Thelma! I think I'm going to bust you...

Now, ladies. Take it easy.

Now, did she take the money or not?

Well, not exactly money.

I'll say not exactly money. Not exactly anything.

Mrs. Zephyr, please.

What did she take?

Hey.

What's goin' on here? What happened?

Who are you?

Well, I'm Walker, her husband. What's the trouble?

We got a call from...

That's what she's trying to steal: him.

Every day she comes over here

and says she's gonna help me clean up.

All she does is drink my booze and wait for him to come home.

Look at her. Just look at her.

Well, just because a girl happens to be attractive.

Fellows, sorry you went through all this trouble.

But this is a little situation, I think, I can handle myself.

Agatha. Thelma. Sit down!

You've got everything under control. If you'll excuse us, sir?

Right. Sorry to trouble you.

Now look, both of you.

This place is an absolute pig pen.

It's looked like this for a week.

I haven't had my supper on time in all that time.

Now look. I want this place cleaned from top to bottom.

Now you get the mops and the buckets,

and you get the brooms.

And I don't want any fooling around. Let's move!

You know, those two have gotta be driving that guy out of his mind.

Oh, I don't know. it's kind of nice to have some help with the housework.

90-27, no want. Ida, George, Queen, 442.

Hey, I've been robbed! I've been robbed! Just now!

He just robbed me. Right around the corner.

Not two blocks from here. Just now.

Did you see which way he went? He was heading South down Fifth.

Get in. We'll see if we can find him. Okay.

Hit the first tunnel on the right.

Up two blocks. Okay.

What happened?

I picked up this fare right up the street here and first thing I knew,

he had a knife at my throat. Asked for my money so I stopped.

How much did he get?

Uh, about a hundred bucks.

Can you identify him?

You bet I can.

He's wearing one of those blue denim jackets and a cowboy hat.

Hey, that's him. I'd know him anywhere.

Just sit back and don't get out. We'll handle it.

Hold it right there. Police officer, let's go.

Now move it. Over to the post.

Move. Hands on the post.

Feet back and spread 'em.

Spread 'em out.

What's the matter with you guys? Can't a guy walk down the street no more

without some bunch of cops stopping him?

Put your left hand behind your head.

I'm placing you under arrest.

You have the right to remain silent. If you give up the right to remain silent,

anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

You have the right to speak with an attorney

and to have an attorney present during questioning.

If you so desire and cannot afford one, an attorney will be appointed for you

without charge before questioning. Do you understand each of the rights

I have explained to you? Yeah.

Do you wish to give up the right to remain silent?

Yeah. You got no business picking up people just walking down the street.

Do you wish to give up the right to speak with an attorney

and to have an attorney present during questioning?

I don't know.

Step over to the car.

Would you come out of the car, sir?

Ida, George, Queen, 442.

You want me to repeat the last question?

Nah, what's the use? I ain't got no luck at all.

Just got off the bus not more than two hours ago from Texas.

Figured I'd help myself to some easy bread.

Never even got to see the town.

Okay.

Let's go.

Two hours in town. That guy from Texas sure didn't see much of L.A.

Yeah, maybe they ought to have residence requirements for hold-up men.

What's that look like to you?

The Iowa State picnic.

And what is that, a wayward bus?

2053, yes, we're checking.

1966. Roger.

1999, 1999.

Well, this is what I call real service, gentlemen.

Sir?

If you'll step right over here I'll show you right where I wanna build that fence.

We wouldn't know anything about a fence.

We wanna talk to you about the condition of your property.

I've sure got to fire that gardener.

I'm not surprised the neighbors are complaining.

No, sir, we're the ones making the complaint.

You don't like the way the place is kept up, either?

We have a few questions. Really? About what?

That bus parked out in front there, that belong to you?

Me? No.

Who does it belong to, would you know?

Uh, not exactly.

How long has it been parked there, would you know that?

Uh, not too long. What is it? A parking violation?

Well, I'll be only too happy to accept the citation.

Thought you said it didn't belong to you.

Well, yes, I did, but you see I'll see to it that the ticket is paid I assure you.

What's your name, sir?

Name, my... Oh, Wilson Ted Wilson's my name.

Mr. Wilson, let's all try working together here, what do you say?

Oh, I always cooperate with the police, always.

All right, sir. Suppose you begin by telling us what's going on here.

El Presidente. El Presidente, I'm happy to report

the tacos and frijoles are fit for a King.

Fine, fine, fine.

El Presidente, why you do this?

Do what?

Your policia. You do not need them.

I don't.

We'll watch over you. Nobody will bother you at the fiesta. Nobody.

We will protect you.

What's your name, sir?

Pepe Hernandez, a special emissary to El Presidente Wilson.

You can go back to Washington and D.C.

and tell them El Presidente is in good hands.

The best.

I will finish the guacamole. Adios.

From the beginning, please, Mr. Wilson.

Uh, well, you see, the wife and I took a little trip down south of the border

about three months ago.

Yes, sir, go on.

El Presidente, El Presidente.

Viva El Presidente.

El Presidente, El Presidente, we want to see your policias.

Policia, can we please see your guns?

Where are your caballos?

Uh, we don't ride horses, son.

You were saying, Mr. Wilson.

Yes. Well, we went down to Mexico three months ago on an official visit.

Official visit?

Yes, you see I'm the president of the Westside Boosters Club.

El Presidente. El Presidente. Viva El Presidente.

We decided that it might be a good idea for Westside to have a sister city.

So we picked a small town in Mexico about equal size,

and I went down to tender the invitation. Understand?

I'm sure we will if you'll just go on.

Well, the fellow that was just here, Pepe Hernandez,

he's the town representative from down there and he came up here to accept.

Shouldn't this be an official city affair?

I'm afraid it's gone far beyond that. Far beyond.

How do you mean, sir?

Number one, Hernandez and 51 youngsters arrived this morning

at 5 a.m., unannounced. Didn't even send a postcard, nothing.

Number two, they drove up in that bus.

Took 'em two and a half weeks, driving day and night.

Number three and this is a problem. They think I'm the president.

El Presidente, El Presidente, viva El Presidente.

You see?

You are the president of the Boosters Club.

No, no, you don't understand.

They think I'm the you-know-what of the whole thing?

The whole thing?

The country, you know, the U.S.A.

El Presidente, El Presidente, viva El Presidente!

Doesn't take much to set 'em off, does it?

No, and what's worse, they say it would be rude to go home

before they properly honor you-know-who.

Yes, sir, but I'm afraid if you don't make other arrangements,

you're gonna get some complaints.

Yes, I know, I know. Portable lavatories in the driveway,

that tent in the front yard.

If you men would just say it's all right,

I'm sure I can get them to go home by 5:00 today.

Why do you say 5:00?

Because that's when my wife threatens to divorce me.

What about that bus? It doesn't have any license plates.

They won't be able to cross back into Mexico without 'em.

I don't know how they got through this side.

Ingenuity. They've sure got ingenuity.

The license plates fell off near San Diego. But we obey El Presidente's laws.

Carlito sits in front of the bus. Juanito sits in the back.

Besides, they're twins.

They've got to be attached to the outside of your bus, front and rear.

We bought the nuts and bolts. We shall fix the license plates, Señor Policias.

If there was some way I could convince them they should go home

without hurting their feelings.

El Presidente, you want us to go home before the fiesta?

No, Señor, but right after the fiesta.

But why?

We wanna honor El Presidente, We don't wish to be rude to your presidente.

The President's a very busy man. Affairs of State.

Oh, I see what you mean. Surely, surely. We will leave.

He says by 5:00.

Will it be all right till then?

Until 5:00, okay?

El Presidente, El Presidente.

Viva El Presidente!

Uh, thanks, officers.

So long, Mr. President.

Anyway, if I get this house, it'll sure be a load off my mind.

No, it won't. It'll just be the beginning.

I don't see why.

Look, now you're paying rent, right? The landlord takes care

of taxes, insurance, repairs, everything.

You buy the place, those all become your problems.

What're you gonna do if the roof starts leaking, or you get invaded by termites?

I can always borrow on the house, you know, to pay for things like that.

Reed, you've already borrowed on it.

How do you think you're gonna buy it in the first place?

All I know is, it's better to own something than to just pay rent.

Correction. There's no want on subject number one.

And if I get all these loans strung together,

it should come out to approximately $171.28 per month.

Approximately?

Well, I'm not sure if it's a $171.28 or $171.38, but that's pretty close.

I'd say that's pretty close.

You're only off ten cents a month. You can't be too far wrong.

Of course, I haven't figured in the taxes and the other charges yet, but, um...

1-Adam-12, 1-Adam-12, unknown trouble.

P.Rs at 3840, Bonita Sierra.

1-Adam-12. Code Two.

1-Adam-12, roger.

Do you know this neighborhood?

Not too well.

There's an alley running behind these houses, parallel to this street.

What do you think we've got?

I don't. Could be nothing Could be big trouble.

We'll see if we can find a P.R.

Are you looking for us?

Did you call the police, son?

We sure did. He shot at us. He shot at us twice. He must be crazy or something.

All right. Now take it easy, and tell us exactly what happened.

Who shot at you?

Mr. Slade did. He lives in the house around the corner.

Where is he now?

He went back inside. He's still there, I guess.

We weren't doing anything. Me and Billy.

We were just skating down the sidewalk like we do every day.

And all of a sudden, he comes out on the porch,

he started yelling he was sick and tired of us kids.

And then he started shooting at us.

Do you know what kind of a gun he had?

Do you know whether it was a rifle or pistol?

It was a pistol. A big one.

All right, now. You fellas, just take it easy

and keep out of it. We'll take care of it.

You said his name was Slade?

Yes, sir. He's lived here for a long time but we hardly ever see him.

He lives all by himself.

Is there anybody else home here?

No, sir, our mom went out to the market.

Okay. You guys get back up on that front porch and stay there.

We'll be back in a minute.

Yes, sir.

What have you got, Malloy?

I'm not sure. The kids say their neighbor took a couple of shots at 'em

from his front porch.

Well, what were they doing?

Said they were just skating down the sidewalk

and he just started blasting away at 'em.

Do you think they're telling the truth?

There's only one way to find out. I'm going to try to call him out.

Mr. Slade, Police Officer.

Police officers, Slade Come on out. We wanna talk to you.

Yeah. They were telling the truth all right!

Reed, get back to the car and sit on the radio.

You better request a sergeant right away.

And bulletproof vests and gas and another unit for backup.

Tell them to come in from the south end.

Looks like we've got ourselves a psycho.

Russo, you take Miller down the other end of the block, so he can close it off.

And circle back through the alley. Make sure nobody gets in from this end.

And you'd better take these two kids with you.

They can stay with Miller at the other end of the street.

Right, Malloy.

How are we doing?

The vests and gas are on the way.

We got a psycho with a gun in a house next door. His name's Slade.

He took two shots at a couple of little kids and one at me.

Bill, you and Brinkman go around and cover the back of Slade's house.

Reed and I will be here on the front.

First check out the across the street.

If there's anybody in there, clear 'em out the back way.

All right, Reed.

Oh, do we go in after him now?

We wait for the vests and gas.

We're gonna try and do this the easy way.

Here's your vest, Who's shooting at you?

Looks like a psycho. He took a couple of shots at some kids, too.

How do you figure it?

We're gonna have to flush this guy out, Sarge.

Probably won't work, but I'll have another try at talking him out.

What about the neighbors? Have they been evacuated?

All clear, sir.

Okay. Go to it. I'll stand by the radio if you need anything.

Here, get a vest on.

Come on out, Slade! You're surrounded.

Put the gun down and come out now.

Don't shoot, Slade! We see you.

Well, that's not gonna work. I'm gonna put one through the window.

Reed, bring me a couple more rounds.

Put in one more.

That'll force him out the rear so the team back there can grab him.

Malloy, hold it. We got him.

Did any trouble?

No, he just came running out and threw his hands up.

We'll transport him back if you want. You guys start the paper work, huh?

Okay, we'll see you later.

Come on, partner,

let's get those kids home and start putting this thing together.

What a place!

Yeah, clearly was a mess.

Poor guy living alone like that. No wonder he cracked up.

Sure hope they'll be able to help him at the hospital or wherever he winds up.

They can probably do something for him.

Malloy? Yeah.

Things like this, they don't seem to get to you, do they?

Sure they get to me. But I was thinking about those kids.

The way I figure it, Slade had his chance. If he blew it, that's tough.

If he'd killed one of those kids, that would have been a lot tougher.

Come on, let's go to work.