Original subtitles

Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org

Translated from Bulgarian subtitles : xgrigor

The Film Enterpreneurs Company DRUFIP - Prague introduces

the dressed summer comedy

Sun

Sun, Hay

Sun, Hay, Erotica

director

I'm sweating like a barn door... it's disgusting...

I'd rather bail out...

She's right...give this to me...

...take this off... ...just let me be...

What are you looking at?!

Take something to eat!

Don't you have shame?

You only think how to show off in front of the guys...

And she's even making a point out of it! No shame!

I don't have anything to be ashamed of.

Is she trying to seduce our men!

Look that way!

Oh, yeah...they'll be such a nice catch...

Father, close your eyes!

And tell her something about this!

So why are you all looking at me? Just look at the road ahead.

Yeah! So you don't get road-sick.

My God! They must be disturbed even all the way in Heaven!

Do you see, father?

No...I don't see...

I'd rather not see anything...

Where are you going, father?

You don't need to! You are ours...

They said "all guys", Kelisova!

Yes!

No shame!... You shameless bunch!...

You have no shame!

Father, don't you dare!

I'm going crazy already!

The guys are hot, eh?

You bet!

The one with the glasses isn't bad.

I like the driver...

- Have you seen Pepa? - He went for the keys.

- I want a room with a balcony! - Of course, as you please...

I'd like to be able to see the sea...

Not everyone can have a view of the sea!

Jesus, here it is so beautiful!

Just like in Krumlov.

- The father... I guess, he will stay with Jozef? - Of course, with Jozef.

What?!

I'll stay with Jozef? Never!

With this godless soul... ...in the same room...

I don't agree! I have to protest!

You are right, father! To stay with this imbecile...

Also, certainly he must be snoring!

Well, then Jozef will stay with Kelisova...

There are two rooms and you are three... figure it out between yourselves!

My God! Are you going crazy?

With this dirty pig...

I'd rather go sleep under a tree...

- Did you hear that, father? - What's that?

Stop yelling, Kelisova! You aren't back in your village!

Well, then, father... ...it's you with Kelisova...

...I can't see another alternative...

Virgin Marry from Podsrpen! Do you hear this?!

Is it possible for a holy man like me...

...to share a bed with a woman?

Then flip a coin, but mainly don't hold up everyone!

Please... What would they think of us -

We're all Czechs but we can reach an agreement.

Let's go.

Oh God, what did you put me in again...

Well, father, I'll sleep with my mouth towards the wall...

...so that I don't make you...you know...

Jesus Christ!

It's still moving!

Ugh, so disgusting! What is this...

Don't touch it! It has tentacles!

Jesus, what is this?!

It winked! It winked!

The potatoes are also moving!

Don't yell so much, women!

Let's not act like calves all the time...

You've always wanted Italian delicacies - so here you go.

Now I'm curious who's gonna eat it.

What do you mean, who? Everyone! We aren't a bunch of hicks, are we?

Or maybe we are?

These are tomatoes... I know those... ...these are tomatoes, and...

...those would be...

Look... Look...

- Oh God...kill it... - What?

There you go, a piece of ugly shit!

This is so disgusting, father. Where did we come...

Do you see?...

I can't eat anymore! I'm completely full.

I'd rather bail out!

It's good that we stuffed our bags with food from home...

...otherwise we'd all die of starvation! - Sit down, Kelisova!

Where are you going?!

Well...then...with God's help, let's do it...

Pepa! Don't you dare!

If you put this in your mouth I won't kiss you for the rest of my life!

What a performance... Such a big fuss...

...Jesus, what a pig she is...

Excuse me, madam.

Dear...I'm going for a vomit!

That's them! The mafia guys...

- Don't say! - We know each other, don't we?

How did they find us?

Come!

Come... Let's run!

Where are you going, beauties?

...We are tourists... ...Czech tourists...

It isn't good to be walking like this in a foreign city, beauties.

All alone!

- You need protection! - Yes! Bodyguards!

And that's exactly us!

And now, ladies, we're inviting you for a drink, yes?

It's not appropriate... ...we don't know each other...

Excuse us, ladies!

I'm Bernardo.

- Vincenzo. - Miluna.

I'm Evicka... You can call me "Eviko"...

Eviko...Miluna... Eviko...Miluna...

Eviko...Miluna...

Vincenzo...Friends...

What can I do for you?

The usual...

- Today you should put extra effort! - Yes, of course! Everythign will be OK!

- Jarousek has to see this... - Only Jarousek? Everyone!

- So what do you think? - It's perfect...

Perfect?! Filipo, fast!

So you'd like to run away?

Yes!

But why right now?... They just ordered dinner...

What if they put drugs in it?

Drugs?

You'll fall asleep...they'll kidnap you... and then, who knows...?

Don't say!

You can't know what these mafia boys would do.

Did they really ask you? You're lying!

What did you tell them?

Well, I told them that you are the biggest mafia bosses around here.

You're a moron!

So did I have to tell them that you work as helpers at the farm?

Think about it!

In this way they might put the guard down. And then you'll thank me.

What they think about us is their business.

The truth is that we could make use of the circumstances.

Sure. But I'll be the boss.

OK.

The truth is that we could make use of the circumstances.

Yeah... Blazena and Gabina...

Exactly!

Do you think we'll be able to convince them?

No problem!

Do they like us? Yes, they like us!

Are we beautiful girls? Yes, we are!

- So? - Miluna ...

You are beautiful, my sweetheart! I have the feeling that I love you...

- We've heard that many times. - Hell! I swear!

If you really love me, you should be able to do something for me...

Something? Anything! Anything in the world!

No, only something is enough...

I'm humble...just like Lenin... A small thing is enough for me.

- I hate a particular woman... - My beautiful...!

But you don't know her... She is a jerk...

She destroyed my life...

Don't cry, don't cry... ...dear Eviko...

Miluna, say something...

Hell...mine was destroyed too... ...by the other one...

- The other one? - What? - Well, they are two...

- One worse than the other.

So if you kidnap them... ...and liquidate them,

you'd only make a good deed.

Kidnap? How?

Well, then...

We'll find others, if you're so scared.

Eviko - let's go!

Who's scared? Say this one more time!

We'll give you all of our Slavic charm and passion

when you kidnap those two bitches!

You apartments, sirs!

Just a moment!

Only afterwards...! Come!

You put us in a very nice position, you idiot!

We thank you very much!

Disgusting violet creature!

I still see it...

Let's thank God that we don't have a sea!

- Pass it over. - Open your own. Over there.

I just want a sip!

Do you want to finish everything right away?

There won't be anything left for tomorrow!

What?

- I'm looking for the covers. - Under the bed, eh?

The Italians must use something to cover themselves with! I can't find anything.

- You'll push the blanket away anyways. - Either way, I'm going to ask.

Where are you going?

- You also don't have covers? - That's why I came out - I already searched around.

It's really a strange hotel...

So at the end we'll have to sleep dressed up. At least we brought our sweaters.

Hey... Hey...

How do you say "Hey" in Italian?

- Hello. - Yes, Madam.

Ah... Just come...

- This is our room, OK...but here... - Good evening, sir.

- ...here... there is no cover... - Ah, I see. I understand.

- But your bed is ready, madam.

Really? I'd like to know how?

Like this, madam.

So you're implying that I have to stuff myself in there... or even both of us?

Just a moment, madam. I'll show you.

What... What...

What is this?!

You'd like this, won't you?!

You wanted to see how one can fit in here so we're showing you. Look.

Is this how you show us?! What kind of hotel is this?

Excuse me, madam, but unfortunately he's starting to get excited...

...This is water, eh?

...What are you looking at?... Here you go, eat!

Leave me alone...

Are you crazy, people? Why do you stuff yourselves so much?

As if you don't know that we'll have a celebratory lunch?

Well, of course there will be one...

Just like yesterday - the creatures dragged out of the sea...

Make sure you eat well. We have all morning for that!

Don't go anywhere, father! You know that you can't fight well...

Are you starting again, Kelisova?

Well... They show it all the time on TV... People here beat each other...

That's in Iraq and Iran... Here is Italy!

It's all the same...it also starts with an "I"...

So, m'am... Won't you go into the water?

Oh, yeah! So I get AIDS at this age!

Blazena! Don't go into the deep!

Just dare! These monsters here are enough...

Lord...Have mercy...

...and save your servant from temptation!

So this is a cow farm? This is impossible!

Remember not to stare and gawk at everything like calves!

And if you gawk at something, at least close you mouth, Kelisova!

Welcome, welcome to our place!

Don't say!

They really get into all situations!

Well, they are with the mafia!

- I'm the president. - Very nice to meet you...

What did I tell you - just like it is back home.

- I also want to... - I was ahead of you...

Just a moment, brothers!

That's enough... that's enough!

Mr. President!

- Everyone in the world talks about you! - No!... -Yes!

I have to say with great satisfaction

that thanks to your experiment

the "Planicek" system

Our farm is the best in all of Italy!

Vincenzo!

This is our chief mechanic, Vincenzo!

Great worker!

He can fix a TV, a fridge...

...and he even had two appearances on TV!

Fix yourself up a bit and then come upstairs!

- You're going to have lunch with us! - Yes, Mr. President, yes...

Bernardo!

This is our animal caretaker, Bernardo.

He will show you around at the milk production department.

- Ciao - Hi...

Please... This way.

Here, cleanliness is priority number one...

That is why we produce milk of the highest quality.

Here you are!

Wow, this is so beautiful!

If only Cecilka could see this, eh?...

Do you clean the cows like this every day?

Two times per day!

Hah, and we do it two times a year...

Shut up, you idiot!

"The Planicek method"

We only adjusted it a bit for our circumstances.

Yeah, only a little...

I really can't eat anymore, honey...

Then loosen up your pants a bit!

We can't leave all the food like this...

This would be a shame

Most importantly, we stuffed ourselves with the dry schnitzels from home...

It's never been that a Czech villager leaves the table before its empty!

Do not steal, Kelisova!

Big deal, father!

Should someone else take it? This way we'll also have some dinner...

Wine?

I'm waiting!

Just a moment, dear.

Bernardo!

Antonio... Come over!...Fast!

So... You got the money?

My brothers said that they won't move a finger for free!

No money - no deal!

This is the down-payment. The rest you'll get when we get our pay checks!

Do you understand, we don't have even a penny more!

When are you gonna show them to me?

Come upstairs in a bit.

It will be the ones for whom I pour wine!

And to make it sure, I'll also do this...

Did you understand?

Wine?

Hon, did you take off your shoes?!?

Just for a bit...

I swear, he took off his shoes!

You can kill a man with this stink!

Put on your shoes immediately!

Honey... I can't find one of them...

I beg you, please bend down and help him, otherwise we'll all die from this smell...

Why always me?

Don't complain and do it!

As I already said, I had hairstyling for the first time in my life... ...and that's how it looks...

Oh, mom!

When it's for the sake of the community...

Cheers!

- All is arranged! - We'll see!

Friends,

Let's drink for the success of our common project...

...and for your amazing Slavic women...

- Cheers! - Cheers!

Is this what you call sleep...

Disgusting... The way I'm stuffed in here...

No wonder that the Italians are so thin...

Now I'm completely naked.

- Where are you going? - Just leave me alone...

If we could only be home already...

Hon...

your golden snoring!

These Gypsies cry like cows!

You always have something to say...

How can you even live like this?

It's horrible sleeping with you...

It's good that tomorrow we're going back home.

You see? And I haven't yet bought anything!

Jarusko! I see them there!

I don't even know the size...

Size...

How is the woman like?

Tits? Well - maybe like this...

Father... father...

Heaven sends you over!

I'm looking for a sweater for Cecilka, and I don't know the size...

And Kelisova just disappeared somewhere...

Excuse me, do you have something...

...for a regular person... ...like me... Do you understand?

Excuse me, madam....

I have something much better for you...

Come, madam....

Well then...thank you...after all...

Father, come with us... He has some goods...

No no no! Only for ladies...

The father is ours... ...our friend...

OK! Let's go!

Here, ladies, here...

Thank you my lord, thank you!

This is exactly what I'm looking for!

Did you see now? We do him good and he...

Why did we take him with us...

Hey... Where are you?

- Well, where are the goods? - Here they are!

You piece of garbage!

Are these your sweaters? You scum!

People!

Your friends will not make it to the bus today, unfortunately.

- What are we waiting for? - Wait!

So both of them are ...?

I hope not...

But I guarantee that they are in a very uncomfortable situation...

Silence! Be silent!

You scum... losers...!

You turn your back for a second and they immediately kidnap someone!

Look there!

Miluna!

Morons...

This is for the sweaters!

Father, smack him hard

so his teeth fall out

because of what he did to you!

No...please...no...

...It was that one over there!...

Giuseppe!

Come here!

I'll show you, you scum...

Kneel down! And pray!

And turn your other cheek too!

Father!

Well?

Where is the pink sweater?

They are total morons... Nothing like this would happen if we were involved...

Because of you, you stupid!

What do you want!

They led us like idiots...

You thought it out very well...

Just look at them!

My dear...

My dear...

Where are you...

My dear...

Where are you...

Father, take more...

- Feel at home... - Thank you...

Too bad that you can't stay for longer...

So that's what you've done, eh?

Hello, girls! How did you show up here?

Can you believe it... They kidnapped us...

...by mistake...

Otherwise, they are very fine people.

They slaughtered some chickens and grilled them...

...they collected some watermelons from their garden...

And they kidnapped me too.

They are great bandits but I already smacked them across the mouth...

...But they promised that they won't do this anymore!

- Right, young men?

What? Can't you answer?!?

Missis teacher, you are so good to them...

God will pay you back for this!

I have only myself to take care of them...

An old woman...abandoned...

...weak...

What are you staring at? Where is the salad?

Well, the most important thing is that you are OK... I got hit on the head with a slipper.

- Look, girls! Look! - Wow, it's so beautiful!

And it's my size!

Where did you find it?

Well, here you have to know how to shop!

And especially how to bargain!

We thank you so much for the visit.

Personally, I believe that we'll meet each other more frequently now.

I hope that we'll be able to welcome you soon to our place in Hostice...

We'd be glad to come over. Would the end of the month be convenient for you?

- Which month? - Which one?...Well...this month, of course...

...Let's say, on the 28th, on Saturday?

Earlier, unfortunately, it won't be possible.

It's not my fault that I'm not a mafia guy!

But you're a good liar! So long!

Oh, the golden Czech boys...

You won't leave me like this, will you?

Excuse me, please... Where can we find father Otik?

What's happening?

Some monks are looking for you, father...

How can I help you, dear brothers?

The bishop sends you his greetings.

And he sends you a small present.

To help the Holy Church of Bohemia, Moravia... and of Slovakia!

Oh... that too!

Computer!

Com...computer?

Countless thanks to the bishop!

I'll send a thank you letter!

No! No!

I'll do it myself! I'll do it myself!

What are you going to do with this, father?

You will wonder!

- I still think that I love him. - Me too...

So much!

Well, it's quite a mess...

That's strange...

Do you also think that you see things which you didn't see before?

Or, more precisely, things we didn't want to see!

Shut up, Jozef! You were enlisted in the public opinion committee.

Don't think that when there is democracy you can stick your fingers in everything!

Don't worry, mother.

That's just a committee.

C'mon, mom...The comrades are here because of you!

What 'comrades' are you talking about in these days? Right, grandma?

We all know each other...

How many times should I tell you not to give grandma...

...the kid's toys? See how much saliva there is...

Why do you think that I gave them to her?

Grandma, here is one of your soldiers...

Eviko, write it down!

The whole yard has to be cleaned well...

The manure too... has to go behind...

And all of the material... is also...all over the place...

What do you mean all over the place? We have a construction going on - so what...

- Material - all over the place... - Material - all over the place...

- Material - all over the please...

- We have a construction, so...

- Or these...bird droppings...they... - Bird droppings...

Oh yeah... As if your own yard is nicely organized!

Of course! We are talking about a good representation!

What will the Italians think about us...

What will they... that we live in shit, of course...

-"...that we live in..." -Don't write this down!

She only erased the word "live"...

So, here we'll also have to make ... improvements...but what?

- This is trivial! - What do you have in mind again, Jozef?

Here...we'll attach a hose... ...with one of those brushes...

...we'll have a cleaning line like they do... ...then we'll only need to add some sprays and...

Don't talk bullshit again.

If you really want to help us,

then build an ordinary washroom, finally!

- Am I right, girls? - Yes...

Washroom! For 40 years you have been going there behind the fence

and now you start having ideas!

We shouldn't have taken you anywhere!

Please, comrades...girls... That's exactly why we have gathered...

We have to think together how we can fix everything as soon as possible.

Otherwise the Italians won't join our cooperative enterprise!

Besides...Konopnikova... we also looked at your yard...

It's not that amazing either!

Chief! It's not me who invited any Italians! Why should I bother?

When they come - I'll go home, close the door, lock it and that's that!

It looks like at our place only the church yard and the cemetery are well maintained.

Especially the cemetery.

Well, then let's invite the Italians mainly here!

Hey, Jozef...!

Mayor, leave him... We already cut his bonuses... Right, boss?

Hey, Jozef, don't piss me off anymore, OK!

What we have managed to accomplish, we all know...

Now, what can we do about it?

Attention, Attention!

A message from the local radio!

The village council and the chief of the cooperative

...invite all citizens to a special exceptional meeting...

...at 6 p.m. at the pub...

...Come on time!...

Do you hear, father?

it's some public meeting...

especially exceptional or exceptionally special... I couldn't get it...

...But it will be at the pub!

We don't need any meetings anymore, Cecilia!

Everything here is absolutely in order!

But I'm not ready yet...

I still need to polish the saints...

I have to whiten the altar

In any case they'll come here to see...

If it weren't for our Straka, where would their "methodology" be now?

You are completely right, Cecilia!

I'd still drop by over there, father.

It's always worth it to know what's going on!

Miluna... Miluna... I also want one more...

Or better two!

Just a moment... I'll be right with you

Bitch... She does that on purpose...

So...friends... To summarize, I'll repeat one more time...

Every specific proposal... or a good idea...

...how to improve things as soon as possible... is welcome!

With this I end the introduction

and I open the discussion session.

Hold on... What is this?

Didn't you hear? That was the end of the introduction. From now on, you pay for your drinks.

And how long have I been calling you?

You won't pay attention to the old people even if they die of thirst!

Yes, Cecilia, this is how people show their gratitude...

C'mon people!

At other times you can't catch a breath from talking... is that right, women...

...and now your lips are locked!

Look now...

The bare truth is...

That if we don't want to lose our livelihood,

we won't be able to make it without the Italians!

I propose...

...to...

well, in short...to make them drunk right away,

and then they'll sign off on anything we want.

Make a note, Eviko (just scribble something...)

"...make the Italians drunk..."

Well, there will be drinking anyways...

Look...I and Gabi think...

umm...that we have to do something...

...such that the Italians will know that we, here in Hostice, can be world-class...

...Right, Gabi?

Excuse me...excuse me...

Then let Jaruska and Vendulka sing for them...

...in folk costumes... And I have a wind pipe at home...

Wind pipe! In these days!

There has to be some shock! ...A wind pipe...what were you thinking...

I and Gabi think... that we could...establish...

...how do you say...

Nudist beach!

- What is this, father? - Sodom and Gomorrah, Matousova!

Well, we won't let this happen! Say something, father!

Swimming in the nude is healthy! Right, doctor?

Indeed! Indeed!

Only in your dreams... watching nude women!

I haven't yet seen a nude woman, grandma.

- Me neither. - You shut up!

Aren't you ashamed of yourselves, you losers... Don't you have enough at home?

Women, isn't this so?

With this nudist beach we'll be world-class, right?

You just watch it!!! You just dare put your foot there and I'll break your legs, you idiot!

Forward to Europe! - even if nude! I give my support!

Hon!

Well, of course, we won't go over the top with the nudism...

For example, women would be able to expose only...

from here....to here!

And men would be able to expose from the waist down... Congrats, boss, that was well said!

For the Italians this will be such a shock that they won't forget it.

Virgin Marry from Podsrpen!

What did they come up with again!

It not enough for them to be... where they are!

The end of the world!

I still can't recover from this!

- What will we do now, father? - The best defence is offence, Cecilia!

Call up the sisters... ...and then we'll see.

Now, in the middle of the night?

The Holy Martyrs also made sacrifices...

And they didn't give a damn if it was during the day or at night!

I lost my...breath...

Most certainly they have murdered someone...

Girls! Who would like grog?

Well, we can start, father...

Do you see this as well?

You have to admit that with such material we won't be able to enter Europe...

...I'd put a buffet there...

...and around it...those...clocks...

and also...this...this...bonsai...

What are you doing?

I'm training for the junior competition, you stupid!

Hey, wait... Don't get the idea... that you can show off like this at the beach!

There's no way!

- Everyone will be gawking at you! - Egotist!

- And you say you'd like to lead an international company? - Of course!

After all, the beach was your idea...

Who could set example if not your wife?

Example - yes! But you heard the chief - naked women should expose only from here to here!

- Ah, you're such a moralist... - What are you doing...?

But you... I... I can't see...

Are you going crazy?!?

- I hit myself, you moron! - Do I look like a chair to you?

- You are an idiot... - Haven't you seen in the movies...

...for example in "Emmanuelle"...

- "Emmanuelle"... You haven't seen anything... - What are you saying...

Wow, chief, how did you get this?

Well, yesterday at home... ...we continued the discussion.

No way!

But at the end I managed to convince her!

This is... umm... Mister...

...Mister Architect Svinuty.

Pilatova, Eva! I'm glad. I'm the secretary of the chief...here...

- Svinuty... - Beda... - Svinuty...

- Is this supposed to be the object? - Well..this is...yes, this is it.

This is... ...from the second half of the 17th century.

Go with him...are you stupid...

You'll make it nice here, Mister Architect, right...

When did you say it has to be ready for?

- For the 28th... - 28th of what?

This month...

The songbird is singing, the river is murmuring, the moon rises above the river...

Mister Architect... ...Mister Architect...

...Don't listen to them... ...and don't go inside!

Kelisova, are you conscious of your deeds?

You are interrupting an official meeting!

- There can be serious consequences! - I don't give a damn about this; arrest me if you'd like to!

I have to warn him! This is my duty to our Lord!

What do you have to warn me about? ...if I may know...

Didn't they boast about it already? ...There are ghosts in the mill.

- At the construction cooperation we are used to ghosts.

Who invited Kelisova here...

There will be tons of work here...

- So you say, the 28th? - Well, we don't need much...

- One or two small change rooms... some showers...

My preliminary estimate is... it will cost...about...

...plus minus...A millie and a half! - A millie...?

- My God! Such money! Where would they get it from?

Kelisova! ...be damned... Go to hell...

Well, we can start with 35 thousand!

Right, chief?

Well, then don't even start with the restoration.

Get a freelancer to paint some decors...

...your 35 thousand will be enough for this!

This is a good idea, eh?

- Hello, grandma. - Hello... What do you bring me, Vasko?

Lime, grandma...from the cooperation.

You have to whiten your house!

You mean, all of it? With what's in this pail?

Well, they said at least the front...

And who will do it, eh?

Well, I guess that it'll be you, grandma...

Are you crazy? Do you think that I - an old lady - can climb up...?

I can't even hold on to the ladder...

I can't say, grandma... Bye!

What a hooligan... Oh, Jesus...

Dear communists... My whole life they didn't want anything from me...

...and now if this thing collapses on me, nobody will even notice... No!

...in other villages there's a market...

...a dead dog... ...Hello...

A market... We used to have whole fairs! ...Tell her, mayor...

You don't need to explain!...

...I don't even know why we stopped them...

You must be crazy... What did you come up with again?

- You used to have a bakery, right?... - Yes, we used to have...and you took it in 1948!

Us?... It was the communists...

I remember... I remember.. In any case, the oven already collapsed...

Grandma... Why do you bother? The mayor will build a new one for you...

He - he should mind his own business!... Leave me alone...

Stop arguing, Krajankova!... Stop arguing!...

You're gonna bake such pretzels that the Italians will remember them for the rest of their lives... You will see!

Speed up, grandma, let's move it... The 28th is just around the corner...right, chief?

- Let's go...there's no point... - Take this as an order from the party!

Good bye...

I'd tell on them, father!

To whom?

To the Italians... So that they know what kind of cheating is going on here!

Not that I like to tell on people... but it's only proper to let this be know...

That's right, Marenka, that's right!

You forgot about Jozef, father...

He was also there with them... this do-no-good!

Yes...That's correct, Cecilka, you're right!

...J...o...z...e...f...

Hah! Now we have everyone!

They even invited an architect... all the way from Budejovice...

But I got rid of him...

...because I told them that there are ghosts in the mill!

Well, the big black dog and the dead keeper...

You know...

Cecilka...Cecilka... You have a letter...

- Thank you... - You are welcome... Goodbye...

She wrote again...

Maria!... Maria!... Oh...

And what did she write to you, father?

Nothing special... How the procession went...and so on...

...and she sends greetings to all of you...

- Ah...we are very thankful... - You're welcome...

Is she some high-class...?

High-class?...She's more like a low...wild...

Wild...

And ugly like the night!

Ugly?...Really?

God made the decision whom to give what, Kelisova!

So you say - a big black dog?...

The advancement of humanity is fascinating, right, chief?

Look, look...It moves on its own...

This is much better than computers.

Don't get on my nerves, Jozef! You already have one computer, right?

Computer! What kind of computer is this... It can't do anything.

They have a computer...

They have, they have!

Lately you've become like our women...

"Chief...they have a pool"... "Chief...they have a toilet"...

How can I buy you a computer when the cooperation is almost bankrupt?

We don't have anything and you're constantly whining about a computer...

Let him go to the pastor if he wants to use a computer...

We took him into the village council - so he should now work harder!

Hah! I'd like to see how he'll manage to borrow the computer...

Ease down your hormones!

I'd like to know why the pastor needs a computer!

The most important thing now is to fetch some money from the Italians!

Otherwise even ten computers won't help us!

Yes! He should stop provoking here!

It's better if he goes down to the mill and paints the backdrops, lazy ass...

Let me be...

Eviko, I have something for youaah!

That's...

...that's unbelievable...

My Bernardo!

...and he'd like to get married to me, but first he'd like to talk to his mother...

...he has already bought two rings and he'd like us to go to Nigeria for the honeymoon!...

Miluna!...I think, I must be going crazy!...

Don't cry...yours will also write to you...

No...he won't...

...I treated him too badly...

- Seem like I'm never going to get married... - Miluna...don't cry...

You know what?... I won't get married in Italy without you!

I promise!

- You are so nice... - I know...

Travel agency? That's a very good idea!

That's what I've been talking to you about all afternoon!

Just look at Vachoutovy...

They don't work - they lay down all day.

We could take this on...

Let's go around the whole village and offer everyone that we'll find clients for them...

They won't have to worry about anything and we'll collect commission. What do you say?

And all summer you'll sleep outside? Girls, leave this alone.

Your kidneys and ovaries will catch a cold... There's mosquitoes...

I baked buns for you. They are delicious...

They burned a tiny bit but you'll like them for sure...

- I don't know... I don't want to get fat... - Don't worry...

Don't say, Gabi... There's no fat; I made them from packaged powder....

- Look how well Vendulka eats. - ...sugar...

Sweetie, I'll bring it right away...

Gabi, Vendulka, eat well, girls... before they get cold.

Give him credit...

What a mess... ...where did I put it...

Kajo, have you seen my red notebook?

Yes, I'm bringing it... Here you are, darling.

Thank you. So we're set! We'll roll up our sleeves and we'll roll it out!

Hello girls...how is it... Oh, theses are those "delicious and a bit burned"

- If we're going to make it big...then...we'll need... - What?

A computer!

Yeah, you're right...

I know where from... The father...

Yeah, as if he's going to lend something to anyone...

Then we'll buy it ourselves...

After all, you're saying that this is a gold mine.

- We'll just hop over to Germany and that's it... - Right...

Another useless thing to take care of...

That's not true!

You saw how it worked for them! Everything is programmed!

Feeding... Milking... Everything!

The computer will half the amount of work!

Just for a few bunnies? They'll die off anyways...

What do you mean "a few"? We agreed to make it big, right?

- And what will you do with so many bunnies? - Don't worry, I've already thought it out.

Just look - the summer camp...the hospital... the cafeterias...the pub...they'll eat it all...

Such a computer costs money ...hard currency...do you have any? Bullshit!

Why hard currency?... We have other things!

Mother!

Where did you place your teeth?

"Vachoutova: steals vegetables" "Jirka: lies, misses classes, smokes"

"Radlova: Looks at other men"

The chief sent over the scouts to help us: 7 times...

I sent a report to the chair of VRSR: 22 times...

I lent the church chairs for the meetings of MNV: 11 times...

...No!...12 times!

Afterwards they returned them with vomit all over!

Take a note of this too!

Exactly, Cecilia...with vomit all over...so...

v...o...m...

Is this OK, father?...What do you say?

What?...

...Jesus...I beg you...not yet...

Jesus Christ, what happened?

That's just me - your Cecilka!

Where...Where did you find this?

It was in the attic, father...left over by the Americans...

- Mom, dad, there is a ghost in the mill! - I'll show you what is a ghost!

Take your dinner, sit down and eat before it gets cold!

Look...there's a light there...look...

Right...This is Jozef - he has a light and he's painting the backdrops.

You...you are in a bad shape...

Come...come here...

Here...Take a gulp...

Do you know who am I?!?

Of course, stupid...Lenin!

Here you go...drink...

Just drink. I'm sure that you don't have this back home...

Wait!...I also have to...

Don't think that you'll drink everything yourself!

Lenin!

He took my bottle!

Where are you, Lenin?

-Do you understand anything? - Lenin ?!?

-Don't pay attention, honey... - Lenin!

This must be some provocation...

- Hey, Jarus, did you understand? - Yes...

Tell them that these are the last ones.

- If they need more, they should go to the council. - OK, I got it already...

Take extra care...They are like new...

After all nobody ever read them...

Missis teacher... Missis teacher...

What is going on?

Here...a book fell out...some Gotvald... /President of Czechoslovakia, 1948-1953/

Pepik...Pepik...come over please

Please hop over there for Mr. Gotvald so he doesn't roll in the dust...

- This is quite catchy... - Jaruska, I beg you!

Classic literature - for the barn!

What to do with them ...I'd simply burn them...

We are democrats and we don't burn books!

Venda said that anyways they won't take them even at the book exchange...

So before we bring them for recycling, at least they'll serve a good deed

So, dear ladies...

Lesson...number...one!

The correct pose...

...and how to walk at the nudist beach - with a smile!

And we can use these books as helping tools!

We put them on our heads, ladies...

...and we take steps forward...

...we straighten up nicely...

With elegance...we bring our breasts forward...and we go!

C'mon, ladies...let's go...

Perfect...very well... ...precisely like this...

...bravo...yes... The next lady, please...

...with smiles on your faces, please, show your teeth...very well...

...if a book falls down, no worries - we have many more... The next one please...

Move, move, ladies...gently... ...gently...breasts forward...

...the next one...step forward...

If the Italians see this

They'll give us everything they have and they'll run away.

What a presentation...

Look how well these ladies learned to do it...

Why not...it's in their blood!

Honey, what is he saying?...

Yes yes yes...

Honey, isn't this too small for such a price?

- Well yeah...I hope that all the bunnies will fit in there. - Don't worry. Everything is OK.

Won't it speak German? We won't understand crap then...

How are you going to pay? In cash or with a check?

With gold!

- Yes...but... - What do you mean "but"?!?

Is this gold - yes it is!

So make the calculations faster because we don't have all day!

- This not enough... - Not enough???

When have you seen so much gold at once?

And these are teeth from my dad... from the time of Austro-Hungaria...

And the kind of gold they used to have back then! Not like the one now!

You will have to top it up...

Top it up?!?

I'd like to know what kind of money he's asking for this junk!

Eight "Gotvald"! /800 Czech crowns/

25 "Gotvald"...

125 Deutschmarks...

What??? You said 125?

This is much more, dear German!

You know... 1 "Gotvald" is 5 Deutschmarks...

Not 5! It's 8! I know that very well!

Our friends from the pig farm went to Austria last week and they gave them 8!

Eight! Do you understand? We aren't any tricksters!

How do you say this in German?

We are honest villagers from Hostice! Do you understand?

Eight!!!

This is what I call talent ... As if it's alive...

Well, you see...So many years it didn't work out and now, all of the sudden...

- And whose are those? - What do I know...

Those are ours! And they like it here very much!

Next year they'll come over again.

If things go on like this, soon we won't be able to understand anyone...

Do I have to study German at this age!

Chief, it's so good that everything will be ready...

...before my Bernardo arrives!

- Well...what day is today? - Tuesday! - ...we have to do...

Has to be cut down...

- We went to...to... - I know, I know...

In Munich.

Don't press so hard... it can break!

- Did you wash your hands? - Let me be at last!

Do you see? ... now it disappeared...

I told you not to let him use it! He'll break it?

By the way, it's very easy!

At school we play super games on it.

You play games with such an expensive machine?

Don't you ever think about it at home! I'll have to break your arms!

- Look, there's a little window... - I see that too, but what to do with it?

It's spelled out...press "RETURN" and go on...

I knew it that it'll be in German...

Do you know how to say "bunny" in German?

Yes, that's it...now you can use it as a typewriter...

Dad...you made a spelling error...

Oh my God! You spell "male" with an 'i'!

Well, what? Try to spell it with a 'y'! It's even more stupid!

Can't you remember how to spell...

Which one is the the word "male"?

Here!

Have you ever seen a "male" with a sticking out 'I'?

Cover it... They don't need to know that we have a computer!

- Why...it's not like we've stolen it... - They don't need to know! ...Come in!

Hello.

Hello...

I just drop by for a bit...seeing that you came back from Germany...

So I wanted to ask you if you'd be interested in signing a contract

with our travel agency "Sun city"...

- What contracts? - Well, if you'd like to rent out your house for the summer.

- To Germans...French...foreigners... - We'll need to think about it!

- 40 Deutschmarks per day! 75% of the people already signed up...

And the chief too, right?

"Sun city" is completely reliable...

We took over the accommodation logistics for the visit of the Italians...

We'll accommodate the Italians at the houses of our clients...

And then there will be foreigners...not too many...

And during this time we'll have to leave in the attic or what?

We can stay down at the river in a tent... See how well off Vachoutovy are now...

Precisely! And they don't even speak a word of German! ...Do tell!

You don't need to touch anything. Just let the visitors use the house.

The most important thing is to make them feel like home.

Well...we can clean up...whiten the walls, put some flowers on the sills and that's it.

During the summer at the river it's warm... We'll survive a few weeks.

Of course! If others can, why not us!

Show us... Where do we need to sign...

Cecilia!...Oh God!...Where did you get this beast...

I already told you that I arranged for something...

Jeremiaska from Samot let me borrow him...

- He can eat a whole person! - Nonsense, father...after all, he's still a puppy...

Puppy...Cecilka...get him off...

Someone can really get a stroke!

That's right! He can also howl...

C'mon, darling, howl a bit...howl...right...

Is this a howl, Cecilia...

You need to howl for real...from deep inside...

Not so high...it has to be deep...

Oh my God...They don't even know where they put me...

...I want back down...I'm afraid...

What are you afraid of, grandma, all of us are here...

This is only a dry run...

To see if we can survive the real thing...

Tomorrow we'll stay in the tent at the river ...only for a few days...

And then all of us will feel very well... Do you understand?

- I'm afraid...I'm afraid...I'll run away... - Where would you run away?

You should be happy, mother, that we took you out in fresh air...

Do you hear it too? It's very strange...

These are the village dogs...

...the village dogs... They howl at the moon...

But it's quite weird...

Hah, I can't help it but I feel now we are like during the war...

During the war you won't be able to eat like a pig... Give me some bread for mother.

Mother!... Jesus... ...where did she go again!

Mother, where did you crawl again?

One has to go crazy from this!

Oh Jesus! My back...

- This is the dog from the mill - It'd be better if it had already eaten you...

But, really, it's quite strange... Don't you hear?

What's happening!

Ungodly powers!... An earthly creature cannot howl like this!

Father!...Father!...Jesus!

- Father! Father! - This is Marenka...

Something must have happened again...

Father! Open the door!

- What's going on, Kelisova? - Open the door... Father...

There is a real ghost in the mill!

Nonsense, woman! There are no ghosts!

Marenka...

This isn't normal.

Men! Let's go!

- Hey...Look! - Be quiet...you'll scare them away...

These are very nice ghosts!

These are the girls from the village!

- Irina!... - Anka! This is our Anka...

Come, I'll spank you well! Go home immediately...

Is this a mask or what?

I was going to die, father...

Take this... And both of you should drink it...

Where do you keep your medicine for sweating?

There...behind the glass... ...below the little Saint Teresa...

- If you could only see that, father... - What?

The blond one... An exact copy of my deceased Alois...

- Bless you. - That's true...

- Where should I put it?...Here?... - Over there...behind that...

Do you think this is a pedestrian zone? Stop running around...

What did you bring?

And why are you putting it up in front of our tent?

It's been decided that the beach will be here, so what can I do?

- I'm just carrying out the orders... - What orders are you talking about...

This is owned by the cooperation!

Be happy that we leave you here.

And on top of that for free!

People!

Don't worry, you can stay here! But there is one condition...

You all must be naked... That's what's written here!

- Jesus, he must be crazy... - Who do you think is crazy?

First you voted for it...

...then you signed it...

...so here you go!

You chased one out of one's house, now he's rolling on the ground like a thug

and at the end you want us to be naked!

What's the big deal? This is completely normal, isn't it?

- Here everyone thinks like 100 years backward... - Jesus! Mom, did you see that?

Did you see, girls? It's not a problem at all.

As for me, I'll take off my clothes right away! There's nothing I can be ashamed of!

Now mom, if you go ahead as well I'll end up in the hospital!

- The healthy body builds the healthy spirit, dear ladies. - Doctor... you too?

I haven't undressed in front of so many men in my whole life, dear!

So what? Big deal! Look around.

Oh Jesus! Sodom and Gomorrah!

- What's going on here? - Honey, everybody got crazy...

Everyone is going around naked and they want us to be naked too...

C'mon, don't cry...

If that's the deal - then we'll move our stuff behind the postings!

Over there it's not required anymore.

Well, honey... That was an awesome idea!

You're an idiot!

Father!...Father!...It's happening!

Father!...Father!...It's happening, father...

- Father! ...It's happening!... - What's happening, Kelisova?

- Father! - What?

- Sodom and Gomorrah! Everyone is getting naked! - No!

- Men and women, all of them... completely nude. - Fast, Kelisova!

Get on!

- I feel young again, father. - Yes...yes...

Attention! This is a notice!

All participants in the training for the nudist beach

Please go immediately for a general rehearsal at the mill!

I repeat...

The participants in the nudist training should go immediately to the mill!

I'm very curious who will go there fist... It's not going to be me!

Hah, you...Nobody sends you there anyways...

Women! I'm not going to be the first one! - Me neither...Show me, what do you have there?

This is for the aerobics.

I said that I'm going to help out, I'm going to cook and bake...

But I'm not going to be running around nude!

- We're here for the Italians... - But the whole village is full of gawkers!

My God, women! You practised for so long at the barn...

...and now you start to make problems!

Didn't you have a training! You already practised...

- Yes, but we weren't nude then. - Well, and now you will be! So what?

Girls...Girls...Be quiet!

Let's see, how did we practice?...Get ready...

...with a smile...let us show the world

...that even a simple Czech woman...

...can act like a...

...lady!

Ladies! You won't impress any Italians with your pitchforks!

Girls, I'm going home! There's younger girls; they can show off.

No way! That's not according to our agreement!

Stop, women! Don't act like this...

There will be bonuses for this, so what's the big deal?

What's your problem? Until now everyone was getting naked and nobody cared.

We didn't agree to this! Gabi, don't you dare!

If you don't stop this, I'll get a divorce!

Did you see this hog? He makes us do it, but he won't let his wife do it!

- He should get nude! Yes! - Why me?

Are you crazy? ...People...people!...Help!

People!....Ouch!...Matouskova?!?

Quiet, people...it's starting...

Women!...Open!...Women!

People!...Let me pass...

This must be a mistake...

This wasn't a part of the practice!

This man is fighting for his life!

Open!

- Jesus! - Help!

What are you doing, man!

The Italians are gonna like this, eh?

Oh my God!

Please be patient.

Dear friends,

Due to technical difficulties...

We are going to start the program with a show of the beach hostesses.

So, let's start, please...Girls!

C'mon...don't be shy...Come

Chief!

- Chief! - What?

- A screwup! - What are you talking about?

The Italians! At the village!

Wait...How come?

Take these! It's the mayor's order, and I don't want to have problems!

Thank you...Thank you very much, madam!

However, if you could offer something to drink instead?

They didn't tell me anything about any drinks! If you are thirsty, the well is over there!

Segnora Maria!

- Father! - Segnora!

Father, I'm so happy to see you again! Maria!

This is my Cecilia...

My dear...

The father...he's been telling me so much about you...

What a surprise, eh?

Oh yeah!

So girls...let's go...

...with a beautiful smile...the way we practised...

...don't be shy...

Sodom and Gomorrah!

I've already seen this...

- Who are these? - These are girls working on the farm...

- They are interested in art... - This is a new tradition here...

Well, first you said we have to be world-class, now you say not...

C'mon, girls, let's go have a drink...

I'm OK!

If you agree, we can sign the agreement right away!

Well...but...we haven't been able to fix everything yet.

You don't need to fix anything! Anything!

How come? How come?

You haven't seen anything here yet...right?

We know everything! We hired a company to do a research about you

And we even know the things which aren't true!

We plan to make a museum out of your village!

A museum in the middle of nature!

The whole world will be coming over

To see the birthplace of the Planicek method.

And tourists...this means money!

And from your toxic milk we'll be making amazing buttons!

Super business!

- But, what's going to happen with us? - What do I know?

Nothing...just like before. Everything must remain the way it has been.

Together with the personnel!

Do you agree?

Wait! Do you know what this means?

After all, we don't want to be the clowns for the rest of Europe!

So what? We've been doing this for 40 years for free.

Why shouldn't we do it now for money? Right?

- What are you waiting for?!? - Don't blabber, and write!

Pepa...my glasses...

With your right hand!

God... It's already here!

It's already here! It's already here!

/It's already here! This was the slogan of the first democratic demonstration in Prague on Nov. 17, 1989 when the government of Husak was removed from power./

...Now I'm going to prepare your pillow...

...you'll sleep like in Heaven.

...now we'll fix the hair...

Venco! Did you cut the grass?

Just stop bugging me about the grass!

Yeah...just stop...

I won't anything to do tonight...

- The lady... - I can see!

Hi. May I?

Hmm... Thanks...

It's nice...

May you be happy...

Hmm... Thanks...

C'mon, don't cry...

Here you have a child...and Venca...

What a car! If one could only have one...

You'll have a better one! We all will have...

We'll have a future that we've never even dreamed about!

I already see it...

It will be Heaven on Earth when you look around!

A happy future!

There will be three cars here...

...a pool...with air conditioning...

...and we'll get a telephone even in the barn!

The whole world will admire us!!!

We won't get lost again!

Even more so - now that we stand with one foot...

...in Europe!!!