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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,222 --> 00:00:03,240 Life... it's literally all we have. 2 00:00:03,250 --> 00:00:04,590 But is it any good? 3 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,070 I'm a reviewer, but I don't review 4 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,260 food, books, or movies. 5 00:00:08,270 --> 00:00:10,340 I review life itself. 6 00:00:10,350 --> 00:00:12,260 Viva the revolution! 7 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,770 Agh! 8 00:00:20,780 --> 00:00:24,690 ☯Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17☯ ❃www.MY-SUBS.com❃ 9 00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:27,060 Welcome to Review. I'm Forrest MacNeil. 10 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:29,360 With me as always is A.J. Gibbs. 11 00:00:29,370 --> 00:00:30,610 - Hi, A.J. - Hi, Forrest. 12 00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:31,610 Okay, what's my next review? 13 00:00:31,620 --> 00:00:33,230 Okay. 14 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,100 This comes from Clark at Topco Industries. 15 00:00:36,110 --> 00:00:38,790 I've worked at my job for nine years, but I hate my new boss. 16 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,540 I just want to quit in his big, fat, stupid face. 17 00:00:41,550 --> 00:00:43,960 What would that feel like? 18 00:00:43,970 --> 00:00:47,780 Also, blur this if you use my question. 19 00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:49,450 Aha. Clark, you'd like to know 20 00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:52,090 what it feels like to quit a job in a blaze of glory, 21 00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:55,450 and that is just what I will do. Here I go. 22 00:00:55,460 --> 00:00:58,640 I began my experience by writing the most epic 23 00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:01,130 take-this-job-and-shove-it speech I could imagine. 24 00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:02,650 This is so hard. 25 00:01:02,660 --> 00:01:05,970 What do you say to a boss that you hate, you know? 26 00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:08,770 You're the biggest jag-off I've ever worked for, 27 00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:11,400 you nickel-and-dime chicken[Bleep], 28 00:01:11,410 --> 00:01:14,310 and I hope this place burns to the ground with you in it. 29 00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:15,740 That's great. 30 00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:17,490 I was now ready to deliver 31 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,660 my bitter farewell. 32 00:01:19,670 --> 00:01:21,580 You realize that if you quit your job at Review, 33 00:01:21,590 --> 00:01:23,150 that means you'll no longer be able to issue 34 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,260 a review for quitting your job. 35 00:01:26,830 --> 00:01:29,260 Right. Grant was right. 36 00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:31,790 With a bit of help from our H.R. department, 37 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,330 I went to a local business and took a customer-service job 38 00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:38,160 - in order to quit it. - All right. 39 00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:40,600 Hey, Forrest. 40 00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:44,770 Just a little gift to say welcome aboard. 41 00:01:44,780 --> 00:01:46,690 How's your first day going? 42 00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:50,340 You know, Ron, when I started here, 43 00:01:50,350 --> 00:01:53,110 I believed in what we were doing. 44 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:56,020 But now I'm not so sure. 45 00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:59,520 But there is one thing I know. 46 00:01:59,530 --> 00:02:04,190 You're the biggest jag-off I've ever worked for, 47 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:08,660 and I hope this place burns to the ground with you in it 48 00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:10,800 because that's exactly what you deserve, 49 00:02:10,810 --> 00:02:16,800 you nickel-and-dime chicken[Bleep] mother[Bleep]! 50 00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:19,710 You call yourself a manager? 51 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,980 You couldn't manage a ham sandwich! 52 00:02:25,150 --> 00:02:28,980 I am walking out that door... 53 00:02:28,990 --> 00:02:31,400 And I won't come back, 54 00:02:31,410 --> 00:02:35,390 not even if you beg me. 55 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,000 Who's with me? 56 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:50,420 Well, I had a job, and I quit it with a fantastic speech, 57 00:02:50,430 --> 00:02:53,210 but something wasn't taking hold for this review. 58 00:02:53,220 --> 00:02:54,870 It wasn't my real job. 59 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,540 At no point did I even understand 60 00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:58,430 what work was expected of me. 61 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,550 So I took the next job I found... 62 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,350 serving coffee in the lobby of an office building, 63 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:07,940 the kind of job anyone could master and despise in no time. 64 00:03:07,950 --> 00:03:09,520 Morning. 65 00:03:09,530 --> 00:03:12,260 My boss was an incredibly old man named Willy, 66 00:03:12,270 --> 00:03:15,430 with a struggling business and a long list of infirmities. 67 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,430 I wasn't really looking to hire someone. 68 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,230 Not even sure I could afford to, honestly. 69 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,030 I just can't take standing all day. 70 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,870 And my co-worker was Wendell, who was dedicated, 71 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,240 meticulously organized, and, incidentally, autistic. 72 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:31,410 He likes to make sure the spoons are all facing the same way. 73 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,750 Oh, yeah, he's good on inventory. 74 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:37,120 - Yeah. - There's 47 napkins, 58 cups. 75 00:03:37,130 --> 00:03:39,890 There were 59, but Pam from the third floor had decaf. 76 00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:42,720 Working alongside Willy and Wendell began to make me 77 00:03:42,730 --> 00:03:45,390 feel like I was part of a family again. 78 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:46,980 They inspired me to make this business 79 00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:48,790 as successful as it could be. 80 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,400 You know, Willy, there's no reason this couldn't be 81 00:03:50,410 --> 00:03:52,570 a lot more profitable. 82 00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:54,070 What do you mean? 83 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,820 One, two, three. 84 00:03:56,830 --> 00:03:59,490 Open your eyes! 85 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,470 Welcome to Lobby Java. 86 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,240 I had taken the liberty of bringing Willy's coffee cart 87 00:04:04,250 --> 00:04:05,640 into the modern age, 88 00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:07,810 complete with fair-trade, organic coffee 89 00:04:07,820 --> 00:04:09,280 and gourmet pastries, 90 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,320 as well as the exorbitant price markups 91 00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:12,950 that go along with them. 92 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,090 - Wendell, you seem overwhelmed. - It's fine. 93 00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:16,670 But there's something I need you to focus on right now. 94 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,620 I need to know how many pastries are in this case. 95 00:04:18,630 --> 00:04:20,510 - Can you do that for me? - Sure. 96 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:24,430 In no time at all, Willy's was transformed into a sensation. 97 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,800 The buzz spread quicker than the smile across my face 98 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,600 when I arrived to work each morning. 99 00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:30,840 How many cappuccinos can I get for you? 100 00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:32,840 - Just the one, please. - Okay. 101 00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:34,520 $3.50. Thank you. 102 00:04:34,530 --> 00:04:37,780 There were no two ways about it... I loved my job, 103 00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:39,510 to the point where I began to forget 104 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,370 that it wasn't my real job. 105 00:04:42,990 --> 00:04:44,530 Excuse me. 106 00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:47,520 Oh, we're not open yet, sir... oh, Grant. 107 00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:48,540 - Hi. - Hey. 108 00:04:48,550 --> 00:04:49,860 Do you have a second to talk? 109 00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:51,040 - Uh... - Just for a sec? 110 00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:52,360 - Yes. - Yeah. 111 00:04:52,370 --> 00:04:54,130 - How's the show going? - Well... 112 00:04:54,140 --> 00:04:55,880 What do you mean by that? 113 00:04:55,890 --> 00:04:57,800 'Cause we're waiting for you to quit this job. 114 00:04:57,810 --> 00:04:59,800 Oh, yeah. 115 00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:01,530 Quit this job? 116 00:05:01,540 --> 00:05:03,200 That's why you took this job in the first place. 117 00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:05,170 I was thinking of... maybe I would cut down my hours 118 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,540 once I get things up to speed, 119 00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:07,890 'cause I have a number of different... 120 00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:09,310 well, you're reviewing quitting. 121 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,880 - Viewers need this. - Yeah. 122 00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:13,730 America needs this, and the world needs this. 123 00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:15,680 Six minutes until the pastries arrive, Mr. Forrest. 124 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,350 Do we understand each other or what? 125 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:23,160 Forrest, get out here. I want to show you something. 126 00:05:24,580 --> 00:05:29,910 Take a look at this. "Lobby Java by Forrest." 127 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,370 Uh, Willy... 128 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:38,400 I'm really sorry. Uh... 129 00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:41,090 You know, when I first started here, 130 00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:45,010 I believed in what we were doing. 131 00:05:45,020 --> 00:05:47,580 Now I'm not so sure. 132 00:05:47,590 --> 00:05:49,180 What? 133 00:05:49,190 --> 00:05:53,420 But there is, uh, one thing I know. 134 00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:56,590 You're the biggest jag-off I've ever worked for. 135 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,190 - Forrest... - And I hope this place... 136 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,390 ugh... 137 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,560 burns to the ground with you in it, 138 00:06:03,570 --> 00:06:08,430 because that is exactly what you deserve, 139 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:13,790 you nickel-and-dime chicken[Bleep] mother[Bleep]. 140 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,960 Oh, boy. 141 00:06:16,970 --> 00:06:20,410 You call yourself a manager? 142 00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:24,380 You couldn't manage a ham sandwich! 143 00:06:24,390 --> 00:06:27,970 Okay, I am leaving here, 144 00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:31,560 and I am never coming back, 145 00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:34,810 not if you beg me! 146 00:06:34,820 --> 00:06:37,070 Who's with me? 147 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:42,650 - I am! - Oh. 148 00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:44,970 If Mr. Forrest goes, I go! 149 00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:46,650 Oh, God. 150 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,750 You couldn't manage a ham sandwich! 151 00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:02,000 Since we spend so much time at our jobs, 152 00:07:02,010 --> 00:07:04,340 our co-workers can become like a second family, 153 00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:07,130 and our workplace like a second home. 154 00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:08,680 As exhilarating a rush as it is 155 00:07:08,690 --> 00:07:10,000 to tell off an authority figure, 156 00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:11,680 when you quit your job, 157 00:07:11,690 --> 00:07:14,330 you're leaving behind much more than just a paycheck. 158 00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:17,780 Quitting your job... two stars. 159 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,930 All right, A.J., what life experience shall I review next? 160 00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:27,310 Okay. 161 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,480 An email from Gloria in Nashville, Tennessee. 162 00:07:30,490 --> 00:07:32,490 She says... 163 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,570 Wow. 164 00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:40,980 That's a great one and a profound one. 165 00:07:40,990 --> 00:07:43,000 I know what I would do if it was my last day on earth. 166 00:07:43,010 --> 00:07:45,170 - Yeah? - I would adopt a baby. 167 00:07:47,290 --> 00:07:48,920 Yeah, well, you... 168 00:07:48,930 --> 00:07:50,590 you might want to give that a little more thought. 169 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,450 But I don't know what I would do at all 170 00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:53,760 on my last day. 171 00:07:53,770 --> 00:07:55,990 I guess I'm going to find out. 172 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,930 To live this day as if it were my last 173 00:07:57,940 --> 00:08:00,430 required a sense of reckless abandon. 174 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,500 Oh, [Bleep]! 175 00:08:01,510 --> 00:08:04,180 Oh, mother[Bleep]! Oh, God! 176 00:08:04,190 --> 00:08:06,330 I decided to have "carpe diem," 177 00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:09,350 Latin for "seize the day," tattooed on my body. 178 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:12,470 [Bleep] This! What is the matter with you? 179 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,610 Well, I still got to charge you 180 00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:15,030 for the letters I put on you. 181 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,450 I would not get the full carpe diem, 182 00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:18,610 but I would get... 183 00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:20,700 Ca. 184 00:08:20,710 --> 00:08:22,870 Ca, yeah. 185 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,120 Ca! 186 00:08:24,130 --> 00:08:27,370 I'm really living! 187 00:08:27,380 --> 00:08:31,380 Hey, bring us some more nachos, okay? 188 00:08:31,390 --> 00:08:34,200 With extra cheese. Oh, hell, it's my last day. 189 00:08:34,210 --> 00:08:36,330 Just bring us a bowl of cheese! 190 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:39,200 Hey, let me ask you something. 191 00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:41,340 If this were your last day on earth, 192 00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:43,640 I mean, if there were no repercussions beyond today, 193 00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:47,060 you could just go for it, what would you do? 194 00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:50,650 - Well, I-I-I guess I... - No, no, no, you know what? 195 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:53,320 Don't tell me. 196 00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:55,900 Just do it. 197 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,080 Okay. 198 00:09:01,330 --> 00:09:04,360 Excuse me. 199 00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:05,830 Does anybody want to leave, 200 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,070 go back to my place, and [Bleep] right now? 201 00:09:15,910 --> 00:09:17,370 No. 202 00:09:17,380 --> 00:09:18,760 - Where are you... - Oh, my God! 203 00:09:18,770 --> 00:09:21,080 That is fantastic! That's the thing 204 00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:23,100 to do on your last day. 205 00:09:23,110 --> 00:09:25,880 Well done. 206 00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:27,680 Oh... oh, no. Oh, no. 207 00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:29,690 Hey, everybody! 208 00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:34,360 Who... who wants to go [Bleep] me and Mr. MacNeil right now? 209 00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:39,100 Yes! 210 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,040 Oh! 211 00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:49,120 Undeterred by the lack of women 212 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,110 interested in having sex with us, 213 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:54,740 Josh and I enjoyed a more dependable form of machismo. 214 00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:56,280 - Come on, shoot it! - Bottle of champagne, 215 00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:58,450 you messed with the wrong man! 216 00:09:58,460 --> 00:09:59,460 Come on! 217 00:09:59,470 --> 00:10:01,250 Oh, come on. 218 00:10:01,260 --> 00:10:03,050 Is there something wrong with my... the way I'm standing? 219 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,120 - What's going on? - You're just not hitting it. 220 00:10:04,130 --> 00:10:05,420 How about this? 221 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:06,970 - Say hello to my little friend! - Yeah! 222 00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:08,390 Come on! 223 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,480 - Come on! - Come on! 224 00:10:11,490 --> 00:10:14,970 Oh, you pissed off the wrong guy! 225 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,270 [Bleep]! Ca! 226 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,280 Ca! 227 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,150 Oh! 228 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,950 - Oh, cool. - That went a long way. 229 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,000 That was good. 230 00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:35,750 To life. Mmm. 231 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,790 To life. 232 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,420 There is so much I will miss. 233 00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:42,350 Now let's go get some whores. 234 00:10:44,050 --> 00:10:45,679 Ah! 235 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,520 While relapsing on cocaine with prostitutes 236 00:10:48,530 --> 00:10:50,700 is one of the worst things a man can ever do, 237 00:10:50,710 --> 00:10:54,040 regrettably on my last day, it seemed like a reasonable choice. 238 00:10:54,050 --> 00:10:55,860 Oh, [Bleep]. 239 00:10:55,870 --> 00:10:57,160 Cops. 240 00:10:57,170 --> 00:10:58,530 - Yeah, yeah, yeah! - Oh, oh, oh. 241 00:10:58,540 --> 00:10:59,800 Go, go, go, go, go! 242 00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:00,960 Go, go, go, go, go! 243 00:11:00,970 --> 00:11:02,210 Nobody move! 244 00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:04,000 Come here! Come here! Come here! 245 00:11:04,010 --> 00:11:05,880 No, no, no. Okay, okay, okay! 246 00:11:05,890 --> 00:11:07,370 - Get down! - Okay, okay, okay! 247 00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:09,340 Josh! 248 00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:11,040 Run, Mr. MacNeil, it's your last day! 249 00:11:11,050 --> 00:11:12,560 Come here! 250 00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:14,310 You've been a wonderful unpaid employee! 251 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,340 Thank you! I've learned a lot from you, 252 00:11:16,350 --> 00:11:18,480 about myself and about the business! 253 00:11:18,490 --> 00:11:20,230 Ugh! Ow! 254 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,730 The setbacks and curveballs of life were nothing to me now. 255 00:11:22,740 --> 00:11:24,190 Ca! 256 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,900 They had no power to hurt me 257 00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:27,910 because I didn't fear what might happen to me next. 258 00:11:29,530 --> 00:11:32,580 But as dusk descended upon me for the last time, 259 00:11:32,590 --> 00:11:34,910 I began to feel the incredible sadness 260 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,830 of leaving everything and everyone behind. 261 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:38,830 Also, the cocaine was wearing off. 262 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,700 Why? 263 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,380 Oh, my God, where are your clothes? 264 00:11:49,390 --> 00:11:51,510 My clothes are at a whorehouse. 265 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,569 Ugh. Okay, Forrest. 266 00:11:52,570 --> 00:11:53,730 Wait, wait, wait. 267 00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:55,450 I'm here to say good-bye forever. 268 00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:56,740 What do you mean? 269 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:59,540 It's my last day. 270 00:11:59,550 --> 00:12:01,120 So I just wanted to thank you 271 00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:02,910 for everything that you've done for me and... 272 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,630 To really live this day as if it were my last, 273 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,750 I needed the people around me to believe that it was too. 274 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,580 Wait. Are... are you sick? 275 00:12:11,590 --> 00:12:14,890 But lying seemed out of bounds. 276 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:18,290 Oh, my God. You have a brain tumor. 277 00:12:18,300 --> 00:12:19,960 I don't know why I didn't think about this before. 278 00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:21,810 This totally makes sense. 279 00:12:21,820 --> 00:12:24,400 Alicia's Uncle had one, and she said 280 00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,460 it pushed on part of his brain. 281 00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:29,400 It made him act crazy. 282 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:33,300 That's why you've been such a lunatic. 283 00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:35,440 Cocaine is amazing! 284 00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:38,660 Oh, God, I'm gonna die! 285 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:39,980 Arr, arr, arr! 286 00:12:39,990 --> 00:12:43,080 Stinkiest of poops that I've had... 287 00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:44,840 my clothes are at a whorehouse. 288 00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:51,120 The human brain. 289 00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:54,490 I am so sorry. 290 00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:57,850 Is there anything you want to do? 291 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,310 You just say the word. 292 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,770 That's the day we were married. 293 00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:06,840 - Happiest day of my life. - Oh. 294 00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:08,970 And this was... how old was he here? 295 00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:10,110 Do you remember? 296 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,110 - 2 1/2, I think. - 2 1/2? 297 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:15,480 We've had some good games of bananagrams in this family. 298 00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:18,020 Living this day as if it were my last was incredible. 299 00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:20,650 Suzanne had taken me back. 300 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:23,040 Had true love prevailed, or was it just 301 00:13:23,050 --> 00:13:25,540 her mistaken belief that I had a medical excuse 302 00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:28,380 for months of bizarre behavior and would soon be dead? 303 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:31,960 Whatever it was, at long last we were happy again. 304 00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:36,550 Can you do anything, or does it hurt too much? 305 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:40,390 Oh. No, I can do stuff. 306 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,140 - Mm. - Mm. 307 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,980 You know, we get so caught up in our day-to-day struggles 308 00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:54,220 that we can be blind to the real treasures of life. 309 00:13:54,230 --> 00:13:59,160 Living each day like it's your last just makes that impossible. 310 00:13:59,170 --> 00:14:01,410 That was the best day of my life. 311 00:14:01,420 --> 00:14:03,070 Five stars. 312 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,750 I can't wait for my last day on earth. 313 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,809 Yeah. It was fun. 314 00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:12,880 - Yeah. - Yeah. 315 00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:20,950 A.J., do we have time for one last review? 316 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,090 - Let's go for it. - Yes. 317 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:25,740 Clap4kim@yahoo.Com asks... 318 00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:36,140 Oh, my goodness. 319 00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:38,410 Well, she wants to know what it's like to be Irish. 320 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:41,310 Not sure how I'm gonna do that. I'm only half Irish. 321 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,140 It sounds like someone's about to get hammered again. 322 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,910 Uh, well, now, A.J., 323 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,830 I think an Irish person would be very offended by that, 324 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,170 but they would also admit 325 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,780 that it's absolutely true. Ha ha. 326 00:14:49,790 --> 00:14:52,340 Well, I'm off to become Irish! 327 00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,510 Hey, herlihy, I told you about eating the grass. 328 00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:57,630 You see what I did to him over there? 329 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,830 Shaughnessy kicked me in the face, and I stole his pants, 330 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,510 and now he looks ridiculous, doesn't he? 331 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,180 All right. 332 00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:05,470 Thanks to me wife's mistaken belief that I was dying 333 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,600 of brain cancer, I was now back in me home. 334 00:15:07,610 --> 00:15:09,600 Forrest, what are... what are you doing? 335 00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:11,470 Oh, I'm making a sweater, love. 336 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,310 Would you ever bring me my knitting needles? 337 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,610 Oh, um, I will in just one second. 338 00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:18,150 You know what? Why don't we put down the shears, 339 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,850 and you have a little lie-down. 340 00:15:19,860 --> 00:15:21,320 Well, I have worked awfully hard. 341 00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:22,700 Yeah, and I'll make you some of that 342 00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:23,980 O'Neill's blood pudding 343 00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,370 that you bought for dinner tonight. 344 00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:27,350 Oh, listen, mcginty is a house sheep. 345 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,820 I hope you're all right with that. 346 00:15:28,830 --> 00:15:30,520 Is he? Okay. 347 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,330 I felt sincerely guilty about returning to me family 348 00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:34,830 under false pretenses, but we were all enjoying 349 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,000 the luck of the Irish too much to let the truth 350 00:15:37,010 --> 00:15:38,220 stand in the way. 351 00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:39,870 Hey, put that fork down, young fella. 352 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,170 - We haven't said grace yet. - Oh. 353 00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:44,510 In the name of the father and the son and the holy spirit. 354 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:45,840 What? 355 00:15:45,850 --> 00:15:47,010 Your father's saying grace, Eric. 356 00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:48,340 Get with it, come on. 357 00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:49,640 Put your hands together, young man. 358 00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:51,230 Dear lord in heaven, 359 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,850 we thank ye humbly 360 00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:55,050 for this bread that we're about to receive, 361 00:15:55,060 --> 00:15:58,190 and we thank you so much for making us Irish. 362 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,320 Please never strike us blind or give us consumption. 363 00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:03,570 Is this part of the brain tumor? 364 00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:05,410 - Yes, it is. - Oh. 365 00:16:05,420 --> 00:16:06,410 Thank you, lord. 366 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:08,750 - Amen. - Amen. 367 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,830 - Amen. - Thank you, Forrest. 368 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,170 Who'll have some blood sausage? 369 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:17,090 Whoo-hoo! 370 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:20,870 ♪ Oh, he twisted his whiskers and said with a grin ♪ 371 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,540 ♪ Don't make me mad, I'll let myself in ♪ 372 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:27,930 ♪ And I said to the mouse 373 00:16:27,940 --> 00:16:31,720 Stay out of my house! 374 00:16:31,730 --> 00:16:33,920 I was having a marvelous time living life as an irishman 375 00:16:33,930 --> 00:16:35,360 with me family at home 376 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:37,780 and with me new Irish family down at the pub. 377 00:16:37,790 --> 00:16:40,030 It was the kind of day that makes a man feel 378 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,600 that nothing could ever go wrong. 379 00:16:41,610 --> 00:16:43,400 Yeah! Ah! 380 00:16:43,410 --> 00:16:44,700 That's great. 381 00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:46,230 I might do a little bit of a jig... 382 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,450 oh, look who's here, me wild Irish rose. 383 00:16:48,460 --> 00:16:50,240 - I spoke to your doctor. - Ah. 384 00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,040 You don't have a brain tumor. 385 00:16:52,050 --> 00:16:54,790 Um, well... 386 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:57,800 We Irish are known for our blarney, are we not? 387 00:16:57,810 --> 00:17:00,050 Your son thinks you're dying. 388 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,550 Uh... 389 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,750 This... this is for the show, isn't it? 390 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,890 - Is that what it is? - Um... 391 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,620 Um, you know I can't tell you, right? 392 00:17:09,630 --> 00:17:11,430 I can't tell you what's for the show. I'm not allowed... 393 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,760 okay, I need to know how much of what you've been doing 394 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,230 - is for the show. - I can't tell you that. 395 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,760 Did you get addicted to cocaine for the show? 396 00:17:15,770 --> 00:17:17,400 Sweetheart... 397 00:17:17,410 --> 00:17:21,150 did you get my dad killed in space for the show? 398 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,450 Oh, my God. Did you divorce me for the show? 399 00:17:29,150 --> 00:17:33,250 Everything I do, I do for Ireland! 400 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,170 Ireland! 401 00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:38,500 Okay, listen, I know you get passionate about things, 402 00:17:38,510 --> 00:17:41,170 and you lose yourself in them. I love that about you, okay? 403 00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:43,490 But if there's any way we are ever going to be a family again, 404 00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:45,790 you need to put limits on what you do for the show. 405 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,960 Our family has to come first, Forrest. 406 00:17:47,970 --> 00:17:49,660 Darling, the family always comes first. 407 00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:50,830 - Don't even doubt it... - okay, would you just stop? 408 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,500 Stop doing the voice. 409 00:17:53,510 --> 00:17:54,690 'Tis true, me brogue is thick... 410 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,670 - Stop it. - But I mean what I say. 411 00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:00,020 I need you to stop the voice. 412 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,870 Um, it's a bit of a puzzler. 413 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,320 You're not gonna stop. All right. 414 00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:11,200 - No, I mean, I... - okay, this is done. 415 00:18:11,210 --> 00:18:13,320 - I can't stop it... sweetheart. - This is done. I'm sorry. 416 00:18:13,330 --> 00:18:14,820 I just... I can't do this anymore, okay? 417 00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:16,190 We're done. 418 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,710 And, yeah, just so you know, everybody, 419 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,880 this man is from Wisconsin! 420 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:22,000 Uh, come on. Don't... now, love... 421 00:18:22,010 --> 00:18:23,630 - love, love, come on. - Just get out of my face! 422 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,530 - All right, all right. - No, Forrest, stop! 423 00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:29,370 Sweetheart, don't... ah. 424 00:18:29,380 --> 00:18:31,350 Hmm. 425 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,510 Mm. 426 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,040 That was great. We got it. 427 00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:38,810 Terrific. 428 00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,730 Do you want to wrap, or do you want to punch anybody out? 429 00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:42,820 That's pretty Irish. 430 00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:45,900 Did you see what just happened with my wife? 431 00:18:45,910 --> 00:18:49,420 Your ex-wife is a nut job. 432 00:18:50,570 --> 00:18:52,410 What? 433 00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:55,410 Look, the Irish suffer. It's in their blood, okay? 434 00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:58,530 It's tradition. 435 00:18:58,540 --> 00:19:00,250 - And you know what else? - Hmm? 436 00:19:00,260 --> 00:19:01,750 You're the one who told me about the guy 437 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,370 who waited and waited and waited and waited 438 00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:06,210 until a little bit of fungus turned into penicillin. 439 00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:08,210 - Mm. - And this Irish sequence 440 00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:11,880 is very close to becoming penicillin... 441 00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:14,920 - Thanks to you. - Is that all you have to say? 442 00:19:14,930 --> 00:19:17,360 Well, those were your words, and I think they say a lot. 443 00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:28,360 You know, Grant, when I started here, 444 00:19:28,370 --> 00:19:31,120 I believed in what we were doing, 445 00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:33,400 but now I'm not so sure. 446 00:19:33,410 --> 00:19:35,570 But there's one thing I do know. 447 00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:38,610 You're the biggest jag-off I've ever worked for, 448 00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:41,610 and I hope this place burns to the ground with you in it, 449 00:19:41,620 --> 00:19:43,580 'cause that's exactly what you deserve, 450 00:19:43,590 --> 00:19:47,050 you nickel-and-dime chicken[Bleep] mother[Bleep]! 451 00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:49,720 You call yourself a producer? 452 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,250 You couldn't produce a ham sandwich! 453 00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:53,640 Now I am walking out that door, 454 00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:55,420 and I am never coming back, 455 00:19:55,430 --> 00:19:57,290 not if you beg me! I quit! 456 00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:59,290 Yeah! 457 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:01,240 And one more thing! 458 00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:05,980 Oh! 459 00:20:05,990 --> 00:20:07,964 Catch him. Don't let him get away! 460 00:20:07,965 --> 00:20:10,340 Forrest. Don't let him get away. Do you have him? 461 00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:15,397 Suzanne. 462 00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:17,862 Suzanne. 463 00:20:19,745 --> 00:20:21,235 Suzanne. 464 00:20:22,405 --> 00:20:23,529 Okay. 465 00:20:23,530 --> 00:20:28,219 Weirdly enough. Forrest has actually not been seen by anyone here 466 00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:30,032 at the show since that night. 467 00:20:30,033 --> 00:20:33,419 So, it seems like he really did quit, for real. 468 00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:36,919 Which is obviously, very unprofessional. 469 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,949 Being Irish however seemed like a ton of fun. 470 00:20:39,950 --> 00:20:44,454 So, I'm gonna go ahead and give that the ol' five stars. 471 00:20:44,455 --> 00:20:50,450 ☯Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17☯ ❃www.MY-SUBS.com❃ 34309

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