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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Life... it's literally all we have.
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But is it any good?
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I'm a reviewer, but I don't
review food, books, or movies.
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I review life itself.
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Viva la revolucion!
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Aah! Aah!
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☯Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17☯
❃www.MY-SUBS.com❃
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Welcome to Review.
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I'm Forrest MacNeil, performing
an important service to society
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by reviewing life experiences.
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And I am ably assisted,
as always, by A.J. Gibbs.
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- Hi, Forrest.
- Hi.
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- Let's get right to it, shall we?
- Yes!
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- What's my first review?
- All right, Forrest.
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This next question comes to us
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from Olivia, in Swarthmore, Pennsylvania.
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My boyfriend and I have
been dating for seven years,
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and he's still not ready to get married.
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But I don't get why it's taking so long.
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I mean, if you've found the right person,
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wouldn't it be just as good to
marry them the day you met them?
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Oh, my God, Forrest, are
you gonna marry someone?
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Uh, yes.
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- I think I'm gonna cry.
- Really?
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Oh, yeah, I'm really happy for you,
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'cause you seem lonely.
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I seem lonely because I am, yes.
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That's right. I'm incredibly lonely.
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- Yeah.
- So, yeah.
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To this Review, I say, "I do."
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Handsome, athletic, and completely normal
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media professional seeks wife today.
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I hadn't tried to reenter the dating pool
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since divorcing my wife, Suzanne.
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Was I about to find a
woman who would make me
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forget all the good times
of my first marriage?
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It seemed impossible, but I
was willing to be proven wrong.
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With a pink carnation in my lapel,
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I will be prepared to marry
the first woman who joins me.
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00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,090
You can imagine the
excitement I felt as I waited
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for my new wife to walk through that door.
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But as 6:00 became 7:00...
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And then 7:30,
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I began to consider different approaches,
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such as targeting undocumented
immigrants or closeted lesbians.
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And then, everything changed.
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Thank God, you're still here.
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Oh, my God.
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- Uh, yes, hello.
- Hello.
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Uh...
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I'm... I'm Forrest.
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- Hi, I'm Eliza.
- Eliza.
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- Wow, okay.
- Wow.
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Uh, thank you for coming.
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- Thank you.
- Okay.
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00:02:21,770 --> 00:02:24,650
Eliza exuded a sense of
wonder about the world
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that was positively infectious.
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It's gonna sound crazy, but I feel like
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the hand of the universe is
always guiding us in ways that
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- we can't possibly understand.
- Huh.
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And all we can do is just not fight it.
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I had never met anyone
like her before in my life.
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Amazing.
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- So I'm not a big dream person...
- Hmm.
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But I do have this recurring dream that
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I live on a submarine.
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it's... I know it sounds crazy,
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- but it's... it's a dream.
- Yeah.
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00:02:51,850 --> 00:02:54,680
So, I was on the Internet
today, trying to figure out
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if I could maybe visit one sometime,
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- just for fun.
- Mm-hmm.
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And then, a few clicks later,
I'm staring at your ad.
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00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,020
- Wow.
- I feel like, when two people
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- are meant to be together...
- Mm.
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The universe just finds a way
for them to find each other.
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Yeah.
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Maybe this is written in the stars.
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In the stars?
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I can't believe you just said that.
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'Cause stars are kind of my thing.
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This is gonna seem crazy...
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When Eliza first sat down,
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I thought I needed to marry her
to do the review I had gotten.
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00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:34,840
Now, to my astonishment, I realized
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I needed to get this review in
order to meet and marry Eliza.
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Will you marry me?
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- Yes.
- Yes?
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- Yes!
- You will?
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Yes. Yes!
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Well, let's...
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You may now kiss the bride.
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And just like that, my loneliness was over.
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For the second and last time,
I had found my soul mate.
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This is amazing!
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Come on.
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Let's find a place to have a honeymoon.
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00:04:12,470 --> 00:04:16,410
Eliza and I wasted no time
starting our new lives together.
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We moved into her house,
a mansion that she shared
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with several free-spirited housemates.
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- Taylor and Sarah, hi!
- Hello.
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00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,640
- Toby.
- He used to be my kid.
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- That's a child... "used to be"?
- Hi, guys.
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This is the sex truck.
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I'm sorry, this is the sex truck?
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Dr. Ericson!
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Everyone here seemed to
have signed on to a life
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lived in the here and now.
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00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,320
It was immediately obvious to
me that these were my people.
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Oh, my.
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I got married!
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Oh, yeah.
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- Pretty big news.
- Yeah.
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- Mazel tov, man.
- I smell lentils.
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- There was a fire in your room.
- Fire?
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- Your stuff's out in the yurt.
- Cool.
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Oh, stuff's out in the yurt.
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Great. Sure.
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- Look at that.
- Can you believe I found
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- this stuff on the street?
- Yes, I can.
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As we settled in to our new life together,
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I was filled with a sense of
anticipation for the future
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I hadn't felt since my youth.
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Oh, um...
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Sweetheart?
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The less you know about your
spouse when you get married,
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the more wonderful surprises
remain to be discovered
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as you build a life together.
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Uh, but before we go any further,
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I want to bring you... will
you come out here, please?
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00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,000
- Come on out.
- Okay.
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00:05:49,010 --> 00:05:50,720
Yes, come up on stage. I
want you here for this.
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- A.J...
- Oh.
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00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:53,520
I would like you to
meet Mrs. Eliza MacNeil.
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- Hello.
- Oh, hi.
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Am I your co-host or something?
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00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:00,730
- I want you to help me with this.
- Okay.
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- Will you do this with me?
- Yeah.
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- Okay, ready?
- Marrying someone you just met.
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- One...
- Two...
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- Three...
- Four...
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Five stars!
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Five stars.
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And I give five stars to nothing.
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I mean, I've hardly given
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five stars to anything, seriously.
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You!
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What a glorious show this is.
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- What a glorious life!
- Hmm.
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I cannot wait to find out
what my next review is.
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Go, A.J. Do it, do it.
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Our next review comes to us
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from Prescott in Baton Rouge...
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Louisiana!
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That's right.
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- Yeah, that's right.
- Yep.
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Good point. That's a good point.
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00:06:44,730 --> 00:06:50,730
He writes...
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Oh, my goodness. Wow.
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"What is it like to run from the law"?
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Wow, okay.
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I guess I'm about to go on the run.
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I guess we're about to go on the run.
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Will you come with me?
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Sure, I want to do everything
together from now on.
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- My God.
- All right.
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00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,090
Try not to get shot!
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00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:13,500
- Thank you!
- Yeah.
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00:07:13,510 --> 00:07:15,760
No problem.
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00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:18,260
- Oh.
- Look at this. Look at this.
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- Told you.
- Cops love this place.
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Let's do this.
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- You're amazing.
- You're amazing.
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- Here we go.
- Good luck out there.
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00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:36,610
Oh, boy. Okay.
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00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:40,610
The plan is that I'm gonna throw
this brick through the window
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at those police officers.
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This ought to get their blood boiling.
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00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:46,370
Now, the idea of committing
an act against the police
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is absolutely terrifying.
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Ooh!
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All right, anybody move and this cop dies!
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00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,440
- No!
- Let's go.
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00:07:54,450 --> 00:07:55,750
- Eliza, what are you doing?
- Let's go, let's go.
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00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:56,950
- Get in the car.
- What are you doing?
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00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,460
- Get in the car!
- What happened?
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00:07:58,470 --> 00:08:00,580
- Get in the car!
- Where are we taking this man?
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00:08:00,590 --> 00:08:01,880
We're kidnapping this guy!
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00:08:01,890 --> 00:08:03,970
No! I was just gonna throw a brick!
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Get in there!
190
00:08:04,562 --> 00:08:05,857
- All right.
- Get in the car!
191
00:08:05,857 --> 00:08:07,420
- Okay.
- I swear to [Bleep] God,
192
00:08:07,430 --> 00:08:08,810
I want to kill you!
193
00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:10,890
I would love to kill you!
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00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,100
- Get in, get in!
- Oh, God.
195
00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:13,630
What do I do with the brick?
196
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:14,630
I don't know what to do
with the brick... oh!
197
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:15,930
Go!
198
00:08:15,940 --> 00:08:16,930
- Drive! Drive!
- We had a plan!
199
00:08:16,940 --> 00:08:18,800
We had a really good plan!
200
00:08:18,810 --> 00:08:20,270
Nobody's gonna chase us if you
throw a brick through a window.
201
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:21,940
Oh, God. Don't shoot us!
202
00:08:21,950 --> 00:08:23,810
- Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
- Stop or I'll shoot!
203
00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:26,660
So far, being on the run is a
terrible, terrible experience.
204
00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:29,650
Don't do it! This is horrible.
205
00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:31,500
All right, what are we doing?
206
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:33,120
Although I was at first concerned
207
00:08:33,130 --> 00:08:34,650
with her zealousness...
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00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:36,590
Switching cars.
209
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,320
Eliza's help in executing this
review was proving invaluable.
210
00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:41,340
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Setting this car on fire!
211
00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:42,760
That's just seltzer water. Hey, hey, hey!
212
00:08:42,770 --> 00:08:44,260
- Then help me...
- Wait, wait, wait!
213
00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:45,430
- He's running away!
- Destroy the evidence.
214
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:46,500
Where did you go? Hey!
215
00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:47,500
Where did you go?
216
00:08:47,510 --> 00:08:48,500
I don't know.
217
00:08:48,510 --> 00:08:49,500
Did you see where he went?
218
00:08:49,510 --> 00:08:51,000
Hey, hey, hey!
219
00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:52,520
- Where is he?
- He's here, he's here.
220
00:08:52,530 --> 00:08:53,770
He's here. Hey, stop it!
221
00:08:53,770 --> 00:08:54,840
- Get back here!
- I swear to God,
222
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:55,617
- I will kill you.
- Hey, stop it!
223
00:08:55,617 --> 00:08:57,165
- I swear to God, I'll kill you!
- Stop, stop, just stop.
224
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,342
- Can you put the gun down please?
- Okay, you think this is
225
00:08:58,342 --> 00:08:59,207
the first time I've kidnapped a cop before?
226
00:08:59,207 --> 00:09:02,322
- Okay, nope... - Who are you?
- I'm Mrs. Forrest MacNeil!
227
00:09:02,322 --> 00:09:05,510
Now get in the car! [Bleep] Amateurs!
228
00:09:05,510 --> 00:09:07,530
All right, let's just go.
229
00:09:07,540 --> 00:09:09,540
You're in neutral.
230
00:09:10,860 --> 00:09:12,690
- Okay.
- What are you guys,
231
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:15,460
sending this tape to the
police and asking for a ransom?
232
00:09:15,470 --> 00:09:18,690
What? We don't want money.
233
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,200
We just want to see what it feels like
234
00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:21,860
to be on the run from the cops.
235
00:09:21,870 --> 00:09:23,880
Like a Bonnie and Clyde kind of thing?
236
00:09:23,890 --> 00:09:26,700
You think this is a
movie? This is real life.
237
00:09:26,710 --> 00:09:27,840
Bonnie and Clyde were
real people, actually.
238
00:09:27,850 --> 00:09:30,540
Yes, but it's a movie first.
239
00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:33,510
- No, it was real people first.
- Shut up!
240
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,850
Feelings of intense fear and paranoia
241
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:37,880
seemed to be clouding our judgment.
242
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,650
Okay.
243
00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:45,320
Okay, great. Now change clothes.
244
00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:47,490
I... why... I-I do not
understand any of this,
245
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:48,890
- to be honest with you.
- Sweetie,
246
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:50,360
the cops are gonna be looking for a guy
247
00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:51,730
that looks like Igor did this morning.
248
00:09:51,740 --> 00:09:53,580
Right. Igor?
249
00:09:53,590 --> 00:09:54,580
That's his name.
250
00:09:54,590 --> 00:09:55,750
- Okay.
- Hello.
251
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:56,750
And put the moustache on.
252
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,170
I'll see you outside.
253
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:00,180
None of this make sense, but fine, okay.
254
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,340
I was prepared for this review to be full
255
00:10:05,350 --> 00:10:07,590
of unexpected twists and turns,
256
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,850
some frightening, some exciting.
257
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:12,350
But the twists of this day were weird,
258
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:16,100
and the turns completely terrible.
259
00:10:16,110 --> 00:10:18,850
I was ready for sleep.
260
00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:22,090
All right, let's turn off the
TV and get some sleep, okay?
261
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:23,940
No, I'm watching it.
262
00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:25,760
You're not watching, you're
just flipping around.
263
00:10:25,770 --> 00:10:27,060
Oh, it's Bonnie and Clyde.
264
00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:29,620
- We were just talking about this.
- Mm.
265
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:33,200
- Oh, that's so weird.
- It's the universe.
266
00:10:33,210 --> 00:10:35,240
- What do you mean?
- Eliza, please.
267
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:38,790
- I've got to get to sleep.
- I have to watch this.
268
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,710
As I drifted off to sleep,
I tried to soothe myself
269
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,380
with the knowledge that no matter where
270
00:10:43,390 --> 00:10:45,300
this terrifying journey took us,
271
00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:49,050
Eliza and I would always have each other.
272
00:10:49,060 --> 00:10:51,060
And then, we didn't.
273
00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:58,760
Where are they? What happened?
274
00:10:58,770 --> 00:11:00,260
Oh, no.
275
00:11:00,270 --> 00:11:02,400
Oh, the car is gone. Oh, God.
276
00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:05,320
He must have overpowered her. Oh, no.
277
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:08,100
I've got to find her. I've
got to get out of here.
278
00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:09,470
I don't know where I'm gonna go,
or even how I'm gonna get there,
279
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:10,570
- if the car is gone.
- Forrest.
280
00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:12,070
What's tha... okay, what...
281
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,940
- are you okay?
- Yes, of course.
282
00:11:13,950 --> 00:11:16,410
What happened? What's going on?
283
00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:18,980
- I have to tell you something.
- Yes?
284
00:11:18,990 --> 00:11:22,920
We got married.
285
00:11:22,930 --> 00:11:25,590
Eliza and me.
286
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:26,840
We just got to talking last night.
287
00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:28,290
- What does that mean?
- And we just...
288
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:29,960
You can't... Wha... You just met him!
289
00:11:29,970 --> 00:11:31,830
- I just met you!
- Ou-come on.
290
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,680
Hey, you cannot marry two men.
291
00:11:33,690 --> 00:11:36,020
What is this, the 1800s?
292
00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:38,670
- Listen, you are my husband...
- Yes, I thought...
293
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:42,500
and I-I love you more than anything.
294
00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:45,700
Yeah. Mm.
295
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:50,660
Okay. Okay.
296
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,880
And I love Igor, more than anything.
297
00:11:58,210 --> 00:11:59,710
Going on the run from the law
298
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,380
can change your life in unpredictable ways.
299
00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:05,490
Some of them are exciting,
and some of them are terrible.
300
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:08,210
And some of them are cosmic.
301
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:11,380
Well, I give being on the run
from the law a half... uh...
302
00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:16,510
a half a... and one... and one star.
303
00:12:25,390 --> 00:12:26,990
What do you do, just press this thing?
304
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,920
- Yeah. I press that thing.
- Oh, there it goes.
305
00:12:28,930 --> 00:12:30,820
Great, uh... I usually stand up here.
306
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:32,160
- Do you want to come...
- Okay.
307
00:12:32,170 --> 00:12:33,260
- Stand with me?
- Good, I'll stand here.
308
00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:34,680
- Okay. Yes.
- Okay, yeah.
309
00:12:34,690 --> 00:12:37,510
This one comes from @lawrenceoninternet
310
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,770
in defiance, Ohio...
311
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:47,440
"Just once, I'd like to
be the life of a party."
312
00:12:47,450 --> 00:12:49,390
I see, okay.
313
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,780
I think I can do that.
314
00:12:50,790 --> 00:12:53,110
I'm gonna go be the life of the party.
315
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,850
- Love it, love it.
- Here we go.
316
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,850
I have plans, so I'm...
317
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,520
I'm not gonna go to the party.
318
00:12:58,530 --> 00:13:00,370
You don't know what night
the party is happening.
319
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,790
I don't... Yeah, I don't care.
320
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,290
My ex-wife was throwing a birthday party
321
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:06,960
for our son that weekend.
322
00:13:06,970 --> 00:13:10,130
Hey there, stranger! What
time's the party on Sunday?
323
00:13:10,140 --> 00:13:14,470
But any clown could be the
hit at a children's affair.
324
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,540
For this review, I would be
the life of my own party,
325
00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:20,370
in my new home with my new family.
326
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:21,890
Oh, I... excuse me.
327
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:24,640
Can you put on a pair of pants for tonight?
328
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:28,900
Put on a pair of pants?
329
00:13:28,910 --> 00:13:30,050
- He doesn't understand.
- Nope.
330
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,570
How could I be more clear?
331
00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:33,600
My presence has always
been a lively addition
332
00:13:33,610 --> 00:13:35,720
to any social gathering, but being
333
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:37,390
the life of the party was different.
334
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,610
I'd have to be the funnest
person in the room,
335
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,490
and I'd need some help
from my office staff.
336
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,730
If at any time tonight
you see me floundering...
337
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,570
like I don't know what to
do or what to say, okay?...
338
00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:48,170
I need you to very discreetly
339
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:50,170
read one of the questions on these cards.
340
00:13:50,180 --> 00:13:54,240
You will be prompting me to
tell some of my best anecdotes.
341
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,410
Mr. MacNeil, you got a package.
342
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,510
Oh, this has got to be my novelty items.
343
00:13:58,520 --> 00:13:59,760
- Oh.
- Yes, yes!
344
00:13:59,770 --> 00:14:02,010
This is just a box full of fun.
345
00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:04,520
Take a look at this. "The bald men's comb."
346
00:14:04,530 --> 00:14:06,940
But there's no...
347
00:14:06,950 --> 00:14:08,940
- oh, my God, that's so funny.
- Yeah.
348
00:14:08,950 --> 00:14:10,860
- There's no comb in there.
- Hey.
349
00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:12,270
- Hello.
- Out first guests!
350
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:13,940
- Hey.
- Oh, my goodness.
351
00:14:13,950 --> 00:14:15,280
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
352
00:14:15,290 --> 00:14:16,450
Igor, I got it, I got it, I got it.
353
00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:17,610
Let me welcome our first guests.
354
00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:19,100
Welcome! Hey, I hope you're ready
355
00:14:19,110 --> 00:14:23,820
to get your party on!
356
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:24,950
Oh.
357
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:28,960
Uh.... So...
358
00:14:28,970 --> 00:14:30,780
You know, I mean, it's a
typical party in most ways,
359
00:14:30,790 --> 00:14:32,490
uh, that we have planned.
360
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:36,450
Has anyone here ever learned
to smoke their own salmon?
361
00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:38,950
I'm fine. Thank you.
362
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,640
How are you? As more people arrived,
363
00:14:40,650 --> 00:14:43,720
I did my best to make meaningful
connections with everyone.
364
00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:45,470
Remember, we talked about the army,
365
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,960
and how you were never in
it, but enjoy the jacket.
366
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:52,510
How are you? Are you a couple?
367
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,520
All right, I can sense that you're not
368
00:14:53,530 --> 00:14:54,900
and I made it awkward.
369
00:14:54,910 --> 00:14:56,150
Should we shake hands?
370
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,070
I'm doing fine. I'm doing fine.
371
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,910
Any entertainer will tell
you, it's impossible to be
372
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,910
all things to all people.
373
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,360
But that's what it means to
be the life of the party,
374
00:15:05,370 --> 00:15:07,660
and I was determined to succeed. My friend!
375
00:15:07,670 --> 00:15:10,820
I have something for you.
376
00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:13,200
Look at the label. It's a bald man's comb,
377
00:15:13,210 --> 00:15:14,490
and the box is empty.
378
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:19,660
Sean, right?
379
00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:20,840
- No.
- No?
380
00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:22,510
Who wants some milk?
381
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,710
Oh, look at this!
382
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,000
Milk comes right out of the boob.
383
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:26,380
Why would I want milk in my beer?
384
00:15:26,390 --> 00:15:27,930
Why would you want milk in your beer?
385
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:30,050
Yeah, well, I don't know, but it's funny!
386
00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:31,440
As the evening progressed,
387
00:15:31,450 --> 00:15:34,110
I attracted plenty of attention to myself.
388
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,110
But I also attracted competitors,
389
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,110
and there can only be
one life of the party.
390
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,530
Hey, whoa, look at this guy. Oh, fantastic.
391
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:43,620
Oh, my gosh. Oh, that's... oh, shoot.
392
00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:45,570
No one could be more fun than me.
393
00:15:45,580 --> 00:15:48,700
- Whoo-hoo!
- Ah!
394
00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:49,960
Can I please talk to you guys?
395
00:15:49,970 --> 00:15:51,370
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
396
00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:52,620
What you were just doing in there?
397
00:15:52,630 --> 00:15:54,030
was being the life of the party.
398
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,740
I'm trying to be the life of the party.
399
00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:57,210
Just don't say anything else
for the rest of the night.
400
00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,800
And he has to go. Get... get him out of...
401
00:15:59,810 --> 00:16:01,130
get him out. Get him out of here, go.
402
00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:02,550
Okay.
403
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,220
Being the life of the party was hard,
404
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,560
and I found that not all of my efforts
405
00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:08,260
were appreciated by my guests.
406
00:16:08,540 --> 00:16:10,860
How's that for an entrance?
407
00:16:12,490 --> 00:16:14,830
♪ Get low, get low move side to side ♪
408
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,150
But I had one last trick up my sleeve
409
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,920
to make this party a sensation.
410
00:16:18,930 --> 00:16:20,670
Come, up, up.
411
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,850
It all came down to this.
412
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,270
Perfect.
413
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,170
Four, and five.
414
00:16:36,950 --> 00:16:39,840
[Bleep], yeah.
415
00:16:42,070 --> 00:16:46,010
And then, tragedy struck.
416
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:48,410
Uh...
417
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,460
Hello!
418
00:16:58,470 --> 00:17:00,380
Someone is stuck in the bathroom!
419
00:17:00,390 --> 00:17:03,300
Gentleman in the Indian
headdress, if you can hear me,
420
00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:06,030
I'm in the bathroom over here!
421
00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:10,040
Someone is stuck in the bathroom!
422
00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:11,760
I'm sure they're gonna
come and look for me.
423
00:17:11,770 --> 00:17:13,930
I mean, the life of the party
is stuck in the bathroom.
424
00:17:13,940 --> 00:17:15,940
They're gonna wonder where I am.
425
00:17:18,490 --> 00:17:21,720
I was wrong about that.
426
00:17:21,730 --> 00:17:25,720
The idea that our guests, and
especially my darling Eliza,
427
00:17:25,730 --> 00:17:29,320
were having hours of fun
without me was deeply upsetting.
428
00:17:29,330 --> 00:17:32,275
Someone is stuck in the bathroom!
429
00:17:37,787 --> 00:17:39,630
A philosophical question.
430
00:17:39,630 --> 00:17:41,850
If the life of the party
is stuck in the bathroom
431
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:44,790
for 3 1/2 hours, is he
still the life of the party?
432
00:17:47,050 --> 00:17:49,380
- Oh.
- Oh! God, you scared me.
433
00:17:49,390 --> 00:17:51,040
- There you are.
- Yes.
434
00:17:51,050 --> 00:17:52,800
I've been locked in here all night.
435
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:55,170
Listen, I'm going.
436
00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:56,800
You're going? Where are you going?
437
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:57,870
What do you mean you're
going? You live here.
438
00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,050
No, I don't live here anymore.
439
00:17:59,060 --> 00:18:00,720
You don't live here anymore?
440
00:18:00,730 --> 00:18:02,370
I have this feeling, and I just have to
441
00:18:02,380 --> 00:18:03,970
- go with it right now.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
442
00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:05,340
What are you talking
about? Where are you going?
443
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:06,840
And this feeling is outside of the house.
444
00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:08,310
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What is happening?
445
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,510
I have this feeling,
and I need to follow it.
446
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,510
What feeling? What's going on?
447
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,150
I need to follow somebody.
448
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,550
What are you talking about? We're married.
449
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,720
- Are we?
- Yes! We got married!
450
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,890
Well, I want to marry roderick.
451
00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:22,060
I...
452
00:18:22,070 --> 00:18:24,390
- Who is roderick?
- Roderick!
453
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,580
I beeped the horn!
454
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,000
He lives in a submarine.
455
00:18:33,050 --> 00:18:37,570
Yeah, no, I mean... yeah. That's...
456
00:18:37,580 --> 00:18:41,270
Forrest, good luck with your weird show.
457
00:18:43,110 --> 00:18:44,770
Bye.
458
00:18:54,930 --> 00:18:56,390
Sweetheart...
459
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,400
oh, my God.
460
00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:09,710
I am never, ever gonna forget you.
461
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,290
I'm so glad the universe made us meet.
462
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,300
You bastard.
463
00:19:20,290 --> 00:19:22,980
Whoo-hoo!
464
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,480
- That's a really rad coat.
- Thank you.
465
00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:39,600
Has anyone ever accidentally
had the wrong tooth pulled?
466
00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:42,470
Yeah! No, I did!
467
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,490
Oh, my God, in high
school! That's so weird.
468
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,660
I had like the worst pain in my mouth,
469
00:19:47,670 --> 00:19:50,580
so I went to my family's
dentist, Dr. Morris,
470
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:52,000
and I was like, "oh, my face."
471
00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:53,480
I came out of surgery and they were like,
472
00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:55,500
"we did the wrong tooth."
473
00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:58,620
Obviously, you have no hope
of being the life of a party
474
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:01,120
that you have no business
attending in the first place.
475
00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:04,180
In order to mean something
to the people around you,
476
00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:07,270
you first have to know where you belong.
477
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:13,940
How's everybody doing?
478
00:20:13,950 --> 00:20:16,470
I had come to realize
that winning over adults
479
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,610
came down to dumb gimmicks...
480
00:20:18,620 --> 00:20:21,440
a handlebar moustache, a submarine.
481
00:20:21,450 --> 00:20:25,120
There was no skill in that, and no soul.
482
00:20:25,130 --> 00:20:27,480
But to win over children,
483
00:20:27,490 --> 00:20:30,620
that was a sign of something else entirely,
484
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:34,540
something better, as I think
almost anyone could see.
485
00:20:34,550 --> 00:20:36,490
- Yeah!
- Happy Birthday.
486
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:39,210
I want to wait for all
the kids to have one.
487
00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:42,540
Being the life of the party, 3 1/2 stars.
488
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:49,972
I think your presence is
no longer needed here.
489
00:20:49,972 --> 00:20:55,972
☯Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17☯
❃www.MY-SUBS.com❃
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