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(Forrest)
Previously on Review...
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00:00:02,499 --> 00:00:04,498
What would it be like
to kill a person?
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00:00:04,499 --> 00:00:05,498
(man)
Is he gonna do it?
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00:00:05,499 --> 00:00:07,498
We have told him
not to do it.
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00:00:07,499 --> 00:00:09,499
[gunshot]
(Forrest) Ohh...
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00:00:13,499 --> 00:00:15,498
Life--it's literally
all we have.
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00:00:15,499 --> 00:00:17,498
But is it any good?
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I'm a reviewer,
but I don't review
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00:00:19,499 --> 00:00:20,498
food, books, or movies.
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00:00:20,499 --> 00:00:22,498
I review life itself.
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[screams]
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[triumphant music]
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00:00:26,499 --> 00:00:28,498
[parrot squawks]
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00:00:28,499 --> 00:00:31,498
♪
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00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,498
Over here.
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00:00:33,499 --> 00:00:37,499
♪
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- Forrest.
- Hmm? Oh.
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Yes.
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Hello.
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00:00:45,499 --> 00:00:47,498
How's it going, Forrest?
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00:00:47,499 --> 00:00:49,498
Pretty bad.
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00:00:49,499 --> 00:00:52,498
Ever since our
last episode, I...
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00:00:52,499 --> 00:00:54,498
just been having
this recurring nightmare
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where I--
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I shake a magic 8-ball toy
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and the lifeless head
of my victim bobs up...
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00:01:00,499 --> 00:01:02,498
into the portal.
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As if to say,
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"Outlook not so good."
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Okay.
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First up comes Sharon
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00:01:12,499 --> 00:01:14,498
from Inverness, Florida.
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The Sunshine State.
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When my parents read
my new poem about
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a butterfly nostalgic
for its caterpillar days,
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they sent me to a shrink
who wrote me
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a Lexapro prescription.
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I mean, what,
am I just gonna be, like,
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00:01:25,499 --> 00:01:27,498
happy all the time?
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What's that like?
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Oh.
Re--oh.
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Wow. Okay.
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- That's a big relief.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:01:34,499 --> 00:01:35,899
I mean, that could've been
anything.
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"What's it like
to be happy all the time?"
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- I like that one.
- Uh-huh.
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I don't know
what's in store for me now,
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but it hardly matters
'cause no matter what it is,
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I'm gonna be happy.
All the time.
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(Forrest voice-over)
Even for someone who isn't
constantly thinking
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about the human being
he killed,
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it can be difficult
to maintain
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a constant state of happiness.
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Lucille, do you see that
the sun is shining today?
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Yeah. Did you read the article
that says our sunscreen
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is totally ineffective?
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Happily, no.
No, I did not.
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We're all gonna die
of skin cancer.
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I'll send you the link.
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Always happy to receive a link.
[chuckles]
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(Forrest voice-over)
The world has a way of trying
to bring people down,
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but a happy person finds
solutions to little problems
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like the deadly rays
of the sun.
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Why don't the two of you
go out and find me
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a parasol? Huh?
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Oh, I don't know
how to do that.
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That's great because
now you have a chance
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to learn something,
right?
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Hey,
and while you're at it,
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you know what else
would make me happy?
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Uh...get me a treat.
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Like a sweet treat.
[smacks lips]
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That will make me happy.
Thank you so much.
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[whistles]
Hey.
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(Forrest voice-over)
Being happy about everything
the universe brought my way
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was clearly a bizarre way
to go through life.
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Hey, Lucille,
look who found
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00:02:47,499 --> 00:02:49,498
some effective sunscreen
after all.
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(Forrest voice-over)
And it was made all the more
complicated
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but a surprise visit
from my ex-wife.
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Oh, Suzanne.
Oh, wow.
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Oh, great. Okay.
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Could you
put the parasol down?
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00:02:59,499 --> 00:03:01,498
- I'd be happy to.
- I just want to sit and talk.
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00:03:01,499 --> 00:03:03,498
- Oh.
- The thing is, Forrest...
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00:03:03,499 --> 00:03:05,498
- Uh-huh.
- I've decided that what would
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00:03:05,499 --> 00:03:07,498
be best for me,
and for Eric--
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00:03:07,499 --> 00:03:09,498
would be best for
both of us,
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00:03:09,499 --> 00:03:10,899
- Mm-hmm.
- Is if we were to have...
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a little break from you
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and whatever effect that you
may be having on our lives.
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(Forrest voice-over)
This was terrible news,
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but given the parameters
of this review,
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there was only one way
to react.
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[chuckles]
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- Yay. [laughs]
- Yay?
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Well, yeah.
I think it's--
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- I think that's great.
- You do?
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I do.
I do, I do, I do, I do.
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- [laughs]
- Oh, okay,
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'cause I-I--
you know, I'm surprised.
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I thought you were gonna,
like, literally freak out
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and start,
like, throwing things
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- and...
- [laughs]
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No, I can see why
that's a good idea.
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- Okay. Okay.
- Yeah.
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Well, good, because I--
what I would like to do...
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- Uh-huh?
- Is for you to waive
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all of your visitation rights
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and have no contact
with us at all.
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Bye-bye, visitation rights.
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- [chuckles]
- Are you okay?
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- Yeah. Yup.
- What is this?
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Are you on something,
or...
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No, I'm not on anything,
I'm just--
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I'm just--
What you're saying
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- makes me happy.
- It does?
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It does.
It really makes me happy.
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To not see me and Eric
at all?
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00:04:16,499 --> 00:04:19,498
Um, how long were you
thinking for the break?
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00:04:19,499 --> 00:04:22,498
Well, I was thinking
something around two months.
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For starters.
With no contact...
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(Forrest voice-over)
If I weren't so very happy,
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I might have begged her
to change her mind.
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- Hooray.
- Hooray?
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00:04:29,499 --> 00:04:32,498
Yes. See, I think
two months is gonna go by
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just like that!
[laughs]
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(Forrest voice-over)
And the happy news kept coming.
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(man) Are you Forrest MacNeil?
- Yes, I am.
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Stand up and put
your hands behind your head.
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You're under arrest
for homicide.
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- Okay, uh...
- What's happening?
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(Suzanne) Homicide?
- Stand up.
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Put your hands
behind your head.
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(Suzanne)
Forrest, what did you do?
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Yay! It's great to hear
my rights.
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You have the right
to remain silent...
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00:04:46,499 --> 00:04:47,498
There they go. I'm so glad
for the Constitution.
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00:04:47,499 --> 00:04:48,498
You have the right
to an attorney.
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00:04:48,499 --> 00:04:49,939
I'm so glad we
got rid of the king...
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00:04:49,964 --> 00:04:51,498
If you cannot afford
an attorney...
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- So we have rights now.
- One will be provided for you.
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(Suzanne)
Forrest, did you kill somebody?
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I will see you
in two months, Suzanne!
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Forrest!
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(Forrest)
I get to take a ride
in a police car!
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(Forrest voice-over)
Somewhere in the process
of being charged with murder,
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00:05:02,499 --> 00:05:03,498
interrogated, arraigned,
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00:05:03,499 --> 00:05:05,498
and transferred
to the County Jail,
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I decided to put
life reviewing on hold
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until this very serious matter
could be resolved.
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What are you doing?
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They gave us permission
to shoot here.
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(Forrest voice-over)
Then I got a visit
from my producer, Grant.
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You wanna kee--
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00:05:20,499 --> 00:05:21,659
You wanna keep
doing the show?
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00:05:21,684 --> 00:05:23,498
- Oh, yes.
- No, I can't--
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Sorry, I can't...
think about that right now.
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You know, if I'm convicted,
I'm looking at life in prison.
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- Okay?
- I need you to look at life...
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00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:33,498
in prison.
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I need to be totally
focused on
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getting the [bleep]
out of here.
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00:05:37,499 --> 00:05:39,498
Okay? Can you help me
with that, please?
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I thought--
I had thought you were here
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to bail me out
or something.
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00:05:42,580 --> 00:05:43,780
So you wanna
stop the show now?
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At this point
it is making
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00:05:45,499 --> 00:05:48,498
for incredible television.
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I just--Grant,
I need to go home.
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Okay?
Or back to the office.
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Forrest, look,
where this gets done
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is less important than
who does it.
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Everyone is so grateful
for the sacrifices
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that you make.
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They look up to you,
they're inspired by you.
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(Forrest voice-over)
What Grant was proposing
sounded completely unreasonable,
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00:06:07,564 --> 00:06:10,498
but his argument
was compelling.
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00:06:10,499 --> 00:06:11,498
Oh, my God,
do you remember how amazing
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00:06:11,499 --> 00:06:12,498
you were at the orgy?
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00:06:12,499 --> 00:06:14,539
- Well, yeah, I mean...
- Let me tell you something,
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the footage from Happiness,
makes that look like
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00:06:16,499 --> 00:06:17,659
the saddest [bleep]-fest
ever.
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- It's making me feel happy.
- Oh.
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00:06:19,499 --> 00:06:21,498
That's the effect
it's having.
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00:06:21,499 --> 00:06:24,498
Yeah, it felt great
and then they arrested me.
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00:06:24,499 --> 00:06:26,498
So, imagine people
seeing you here in prison.
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How inspiring it will be
to people.
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Don't let
the people down.
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(Forrest voice-over)
Once again I was reminded
that there were people out there
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and they count on me
to do this work.
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I could not give up just because
I happen to be in jail.
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Grant had given me
the juicer
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00:06:44,499 --> 00:06:47,498
to take prison
and turn it in to prisonade.
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00:06:47,499 --> 00:06:50,498
Trying to be happy all the time
led me to the thought,
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"How much control do we have
over our emotional life?"
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Is it something that we
receive helplessly,
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00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,899
like the weather,
or is it something
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00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:59,899
- that we can control?
- Like the weather.
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00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:02,498
Uh, no, my point was
that the weather
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00:07:02,499 --> 00:07:04,498
is something that you
can't control.
202
00:07:04,499 --> 00:07:05,699
But what if you
move to Hawaii?
203
00:07:07,499 --> 00:07:10,498
Yeah, that would be a way
of controlling the weather.
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00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:13,498
[clears throat]
Constant happiness may seem like
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00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:15,498
the most absurd way to live,
but it is also,
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00:07:15,499 --> 00:07:18,498
perhaps, the least absurd
way to live.
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00:07:18,499 --> 00:07:20,499
And, so, I give it...
208
00:07:22,499 --> 00:07:24,499
- Three stars.
- Zing.
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00:07:25,895 --> 00:07:28,694
What is next
for me, A.J.?
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00:07:28,695 --> 00:07:32,694
Hmm, Donnie from
Laurinburg, North Carolina
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00:07:32,695 --> 00:07:35,694
wrote: "Dear Forrest,
my upbringing was very strict,
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00:07:35,695 --> 00:07:38,694
"we weren't even allowed to
drink milk because Father said
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00:07:38,695 --> 00:07:40,694
"it reminded him
of tantalizing breasts.
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00:07:40,695 --> 00:07:43,694
"I've since grown up
and had milk, of course,
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00:07:43,695 --> 00:07:46,694
"but I've still never had
a pillow fight.
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00:07:46,695 --> 00:07:48,695
What's that like?"
217
00:07:49,695 --> 00:07:52,694
So, ignore all
the milk stuff,
218
00:07:52,695 --> 00:07:53,694
but what's it like
to have a pillow fight?
219
00:07:53,695 --> 00:07:55,694
Am I understanding
what you said there?
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00:07:55,695 --> 00:07:57,694
Sounds like it.
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00:07:57,695 --> 00:07:58,694
Zing.
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00:07:58,695 --> 00:07:59,694
[buzzer alarms]
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00:07:59,695 --> 00:08:01,694
(Forrest voice-over)
Unlike most pillow fights,
224
00:08:01,695 --> 00:08:03,694
this one would have to
take place in a County jail
225
00:08:03,695 --> 00:08:06,694
where I was awaiting trial
for murder.
226
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,695
I requested a meeting
with the prison psychiatrist.
227
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,694
You wanted to see me
for something?
228
00:08:10,695 --> 00:08:12,694
Yes, I think I have
figured out a way
229
00:08:12,695 --> 00:08:15,694
to reform
the chronically violent.
230
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:17,694
I want to organize
a pillow fight.
231
00:08:17,695 --> 00:08:19,694
And I know
that sounds crazy,
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00:08:19,695 --> 00:08:21,694
but the idea is that
it could divert
233
00:08:21,695 --> 00:08:25,694
everyone's aggressive
feelings into harmless fun.
234
00:08:25,695 --> 00:08:26,695
So what do you say?
235
00:08:27,695 --> 00:08:30,695
May be worth a shot.
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00:08:31,695 --> 00:08:33,694
Is that a yes?
237
00:08:33,695 --> 00:08:36,694
(Forrest voice-over)
Apparently that was a yes
because later that day
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00:08:36,695 --> 00:08:38,694
a guards versus prisoners
239
00:08:38,695 --> 00:08:40,694
pillow fight
received official approval.
240
00:08:40,695 --> 00:08:43,095
Did you see that? We're gonna
have a pillow fight on Tuesday.
241
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,694
You are all
cordially invited
242
00:08:44,695 --> 00:08:48,694
to a prisoners versus guards
pillow fight.
243
00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,694
It's gonna be
a little bit fun.
244
00:08:50,695 --> 00:08:52,694
[laughs]
I'm pretty sure.
245
00:08:52,695 --> 00:08:55,175
(Forrest voice-over)
The life of an accused murderer
behind bars
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00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,694
is a lonely
and frightening one.
247
00:08:56,695 --> 00:08:59,694
This pillow fight seemed like
a good opportunity
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00:08:59,695 --> 00:09:01,694
to get to know people
and to take my mind
249
00:09:01,695 --> 00:09:04,694
off of the terrible guilt
that was consuming me.
250
00:09:04,695 --> 00:09:06,694
This pillow fight
was MacNeil's suggestion,
251
00:09:06,695 --> 00:09:07,694
so let's all thank him
for coming up with
252
00:09:07,695 --> 00:09:08,735
a new activity
for you all.
253
00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:10,694
[applause]
- It's my pleasure.
254
00:09:10,695 --> 00:09:12,694
All right, MacNeil,
this is your baby.
255
00:09:12,695 --> 00:09:14,694
- You wanna start us off?
- Well, I mean, listen,
256
00:09:14,695 --> 00:09:16,694
the great thing
about a pillow fight
257
00:09:16,695 --> 00:09:18,694
is the simplicity of it.
My question for you is:
258
00:09:18,695 --> 00:09:20,694
"Hey, who is ready to
feel like a kid again?"
259
00:09:20,695 --> 00:09:22,694
[laughs]
Okay.
260
00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:25,055
The other thing that I want
to tell you about pillow fights,
261
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:26,694
just so you're aware,
262
00:09:26,695 --> 00:09:28,694
is that in a pillow fight,
you never know
263
00:09:28,695 --> 00:09:31,694
when you might get
a sneak-attack.
264
00:09:31,695 --> 00:09:34,694
[laughs]
I surprised you, right?
265
00:09:34,695 --> 00:09:35,694
See that?
Okay...
266
00:09:35,695 --> 00:09:37,694
Well, come on, now.
Oh, ay, ay, ay, ay.
267
00:09:37,695 --> 00:09:39,694
Let's all join in.
All right?
268
00:09:39,695 --> 00:09:41,694
Let's have a pillow fight!
269
00:09:41,695 --> 00:09:44,694
[laughs]
270
00:09:44,695 --> 00:09:45,694
- [grunts]
- Oh, [bleep]!
271
00:09:45,695 --> 00:09:48,694
- [groans]
- Hey, hey, hey!
272
00:09:48,695 --> 00:09:51,694
[grunting, groaning]
273
00:09:51,695 --> 00:09:52,815
They're [bleep]ing weighted!
274
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,694
(Forrest voice-over)
I had not considered that
275
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:57,694
while these men may have been
novices at pillow fighting...
276
00:09:57,695 --> 00:09:58,694
(Forrest)
Where did the weights
come from?
277
00:09:58,695 --> 00:10:00,735
(Forrest voice-over)
They had expertise at smuggling
278
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,694
items into places
they did not belong.
279
00:10:02,695 --> 00:10:03,694
Stop it! Stop it!
280
00:10:03,695 --> 00:10:05,375
(Forrest voice-over)
Places like prisons...
281
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,694
and pillowcases.
282
00:10:07,695 --> 00:10:09,694
The resulting melee
was a terrifying horror
283
00:10:09,695 --> 00:10:12,694
- to behold.
- You set us up, MacNeil!
284
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,415
- What? I didn't do anything!
- Oh, you did!
285
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,694
[screams]
286
00:10:15,695 --> 00:10:17,694
- [electricity crackles]
- [screams]
287
00:10:17,695 --> 00:10:20,695
[police siren blaring]
288
00:10:24,695 --> 00:10:26,694
Was it darkness
within the hearts
289
00:10:26,695 --> 00:10:28,694
of the pillow fighters
that turned innocent
290
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,694
sleeping equipment
into improvised...
291
00:10:30,695 --> 00:10:34,694
deadly weapons?
292
00:10:34,695 --> 00:10:37,694
Or is pillow fighting
a twisted bloodsport
293
00:10:37,695 --> 00:10:40,694
in disguise,
a feather-stuffed form
294
00:10:40,695 --> 00:10:43,694
of combat that inspires
brutality in otherwise
295
00:10:43,695 --> 00:10:44,694
gentle creatures?
296
00:10:44,695 --> 00:10:46,694
No way to know for sure.
297
00:10:46,695 --> 00:10:49,694
What I do know is that
my dreams of world peace
298
00:10:49,695 --> 00:10:53,694
and my nose were shattered
together in one fell swoop.
299
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,694
And, so, I am forced
to give pillow-fighting...
300
00:10:56,695 --> 00:10:59,694
just one--oh, sorry.
301
00:10:59,695 --> 00:11:01,695
I want to get
the plies together.
302
00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:03,695
Toilet paper.
303
00:11:05,695 --> 00:11:08,694
- One star.
- Zing.
304
00:11:08,695 --> 00:11:09,815
What is my next review,
A.J.?
305
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:10,694
- Okay...
- Mm-hmm.
306
00:11:10,695 --> 00:11:12,694
The next one was Tweeted to us
307
00:11:12,695 --> 00:11:15,694
from @CrazySonOfABeth.
308
00:11:15,695 --> 00:11:17,694
"Dear Forrest,
our six year old recently
309
00:11:17,695 --> 00:11:19,694
"told us about
her imaginary friend.
310
00:11:19,695 --> 00:11:21,694
"We haven't liked any
of her real friends
311
00:11:21,695 --> 00:11:24,694
"and are worried we're not
gonna like this one, either.
312
00:11:24,695 --> 00:11:26,694
What's it like to have
an imaginary friend?"
313
00:11:26,695 --> 00:11:28,694
- Ooh...yikes.
- Oh.
314
00:11:28,695 --> 00:11:30,694
Well, I'm not
afraid of that.
315
00:11:30,695 --> 00:11:32,694
What's it like to have
an imaginary friend?
316
00:11:32,695 --> 00:11:35,694
I will find out
and I'll let you know.
317
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,935
(Forrest voice-over)
I had been feeling
oppressively alone
318
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,694
and plagued by dark thoughts,
319
00:11:39,695 --> 00:11:41,694
so I was greatly relieved
that this review
320
00:11:41,695 --> 00:11:43,694
gave me someone to talk to.
321
00:11:43,695 --> 00:11:45,694
I got bad news.
You fell right into my trap.
322
00:11:45,695 --> 00:11:47,694
(Forrest voice-over)
I named him Clovers.
323
00:11:47,695 --> 00:11:50,694
He was kind, respectful,
and admiring.
324
00:11:50,695 --> 00:11:52,694
We hit it off beautifully.
325
00:11:52,695 --> 00:11:53,694
Oh, yeah. I guess I am
pretty good at this.
326
00:11:53,695 --> 00:11:55,694
Thank you.
That's nice of you to say it.
327
00:11:55,695 --> 00:11:57,815
(Forrest voice-over)
We shared the same
sense of humor.
328
00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,694
I don't know.
How does Yoda order a pizza?
329
00:12:00,695 --> 00:12:04,694
Oh.
[laughing]
330
00:12:04,695 --> 00:12:06,135
You're gonna get in trouble
for that.
331
00:12:06,136 --> 00:12:07,536
I would never tell a joke
like that.
332
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:08,694
[laughing]
333
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:09,694
That's a good one.
334
00:12:09,695 --> 00:12:11,775
(Forrest voice-over)
We trusted each other
completely,
335
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,694
and confided in
one another.
336
00:12:13,695 --> 00:12:16,015
Yeah, so then she tells me
that she wants a two month break
337
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,694
from me contacting her.
338
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,175
Hey, I don't even know
your situation.
339
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,694
Are you single?
Married or...
340
00:12:20,695 --> 00:12:22,694
[bleep] [bleep]
[bleep].
341
00:12:22,695 --> 00:12:25,694
I'm actually not
talking to you.
342
00:12:25,695 --> 00:12:28,694
I'm talking to Clovers,
okay?
343
00:12:28,695 --> 00:12:29,694
Kind of nosy.
[chuckles]
344
00:12:29,695 --> 00:12:31,855
(Forrest voice-over)
Perhaps after all
I'd been through,
345
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,694
I was not thinking
clearly,
346
00:12:33,695 --> 00:12:35,694
but this imaginary person
had come to mean
347
00:12:35,695 --> 00:12:36,694
a great deal to me.
348
00:12:36,695 --> 00:12:40,694
I set out to be the best friend
I could ever be to anyone.
349
00:12:40,695 --> 00:12:43,694
I would like you all
to meet my new friend Clovers
350
00:12:43,695 --> 00:12:45,694
who is gonna be
joining us for lunch.
351
00:12:45,695 --> 00:12:46,694
Okay?
352
00:12:46,695 --> 00:12:48,855
You must have got hit in
the head pretty hard, MacNeil.
353
00:12:48,856 --> 00:12:49,896
There's no one there, man.
354
00:12:49,921 --> 00:12:51,694
They're just hazing
the new guy.
355
00:12:51,695 --> 00:12:53,694
Forget about it, Clovers.
Just ignore 'em.
356
00:12:53,695 --> 00:12:55,015
Hi, what are you doing?
Excuse me.
357
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,694
No, no. Hey.
Whoa, no, no, no. Excuse me.
358
00:12:56,695 --> 00:12:58,694
Sorry, no.
You're sitting on Clovers.
359
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,694
[bleep] [bleep],
who's Clovers?
360
00:13:00,695 --> 00:13:02,695
Clovers, my best friend,
and you're sitting on him.
361
00:13:02,696 --> 00:13:03,695
Right now, he's sitting there.
This is Clover's seat.
362
00:13:03,696 --> 00:13:05,694
I need you to get up
and go sit someplace else.
363
00:13:05,695 --> 00:13:07,694
[laughter]
364
00:13:07,695 --> 00:13:09,694
Will you please get off
of my friend now?
365
00:13:09,695 --> 00:13:12,694
No, he's real comfy.
366
00:13:12,695 --> 00:13:14,015
Get off of--
get off of my friend.
367
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,694
- Oh, [bleep]!
- Hey, hey, hey!
368
00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:18,015
- [bleep]!
- It's okay, it's okay.
369
00:13:18,016 --> 00:13:19,216
Who wants some alone time,
huh?
370
00:13:19,241 --> 00:13:20,694
It's okay, everything's fine.
371
00:13:20,695 --> 00:13:22,694
Clovers has very generously
offered you his seat,
372
00:13:22,695 --> 00:13:24,694
so you can sit there,
and then I, in turn,
373
00:13:24,695 --> 00:13:27,694
will offer Clovers my seat.
He's sitting there.
374
00:13:27,695 --> 00:13:28,775
And then I'm happy
to stand.
375
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,694
- Sit down.
- No, the table's full.
376
00:13:30,695 --> 00:13:32,694
Oh, really? Shut the [bleep] up.
Sit down.
377
00:13:32,695 --> 00:13:35,694
Uh, he can stand.
He's gonna stand.
378
00:13:35,695 --> 00:13:38,694
Hey, Clovers, question:
What are you in for?
379
00:13:38,695 --> 00:13:40,775
(Forrest voice-over)
My insistence that Clovers exist
380
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:44,694
in the imagination of others
had unintended consequences.
381
00:13:44,695 --> 00:13:46,015
You murdered your last
best friend
382
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,694
- just like you always do.
- Uh-oh.
383
00:13:47,695 --> 00:13:49,694
Watch your back, MacNeil.
384
00:13:49,695 --> 00:13:51,694
(Forrest voice-over)
Imaginations don't always agree.
385
00:13:51,695 --> 00:13:53,095
You're gonna [bleep]
MacNeil's mouth
386
00:13:53,096 --> 00:13:54,536
before you slice him up
and kill him?
387
00:13:54,561 --> 00:13:55,694
(all) Oh!
[laughter]
388
00:13:55,695 --> 00:13:57,694
When you say [bleep]
my mouth,
389
00:13:57,695 --> 00:13:59,694
you just mean have a
conversation, right? Yeah.
390
00:13:59,695 --> 00:14:01,895
(Forrest voice-over)
I was now locked
in a checkers match
391
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,240
to control the story
of my friend.
392
00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:09,009
Oh, Clovers,
just like that.
393
00:14:09,010 --> 00:14:12,009
Hey, hey, hey.
You got to leave Clovers alone.
394
00:14:12,010 --> 00:14:14,009
First of all, it's none
of your business
395
00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:15,009
what Clovers and me do.
396
00:14:15,010 --> 00:14:17,009
Secondmost,
it's his idea.
397
00:14:17,010 --> 00:14:20,009
We're trying to have
a gentle, romantic moment here.
398
00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:21,009
Oh! Whoo!
399
00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:24,009
(Forrest voice-over)
This inmate, an armed robber
named Cassius,
400
00:14:24,010 --> 00:14:25,009
may have started it,
401
00:14:25,010 --> 00:14:27,009
but in no time at all,
sex with Clovers
402
00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:30,009
had become the new prison slang
for masturbation.
403
00:14:30,010 --> 00:14:32,009
[prisoners shouting]
404
00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:35,009
Everybody all at the same time.
How is that even possible?
405
00:14:35,010 --> 00:14:38,009
(Cassius)
Get the balls, Clovers.
Oh! Oh!
406
00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:41,130
(Forrest voice-over)
I had now had enough human
contact with my fellow prisoners
407
00:14:41,155 --> 00:14:43,009
to know that I much preferred
to be left alone
408
00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:45,009
with my imaginary friend.
409
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,009
Hey, Clovers,
forget about MacNeil.
410
00:14:47,010 --> 00:14:49,009
Come over here, play a little
Connect Fourwith me.
411
00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:52,009
Yeah, Clovers says,
"No, thank you," okay?
412
00:14:52,010 --> 00:14:53,009
We're having
a good time.
413
00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:56,009
Whoa, and here he comes.
My man, Clovers.
414
00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:58,690
(Forrest voice-over)
It appeared that Clovers
had now become a symbol
415
00:14:58,715 --> 00:15:00,009
in a prison yard
power struggle.
416
00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:03,009
Cassius wanted to show he could
take whatever he wanted from me
417
00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:05,009
whenever he wanted.
418
00:15:05,010 --> 00:15:07,009
Oh, Clovers,
that was mean.
419
00:15:07,010 --> 00:15:10,009
You just tricked Cassius that
you were gonna go play with him,
420
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:12,250
and now you're coming back here
to play checkers with me.
421
00:15:12,275 --> 00:15:13,009
Oh! Oh, snap!
422
00:15:13,010 --> 00:15:16,009
You were only
tricking MacNeil
423
00:15:16,010 --> 00:15:18,009
into thinking that
you were tricking me.
424
00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:19,009
That's a double cross.
425
00:15:19,010 --> 00:15:22,009
You're a bad man.
You're a bad man, Clovers.
426
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:25,009
The triple cross?
Unbelievable!
427
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:26,290
I mean, he really,
really thought
428
00:15:26,315 --> 00:15:28,009
that you were gonna play
Connect Four.
429
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,009
Quadruple cross!
430
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:30,009
And what are you doing?
431
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:32,009
Putting an electromagnet
in your pants
432
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:35,009
so you can't get up off
of this metal seat?
433
00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:37,009
Five cross?
Unbelievable.
434
00:15:37,010 --> 00:15:38,130
And the magnet doesn't work.
435
00:15:38,155 --> 00:15:40,009
I understand you have to stay
in contact
436
00:15:40,010 --> 00:15:42,009
with him so you can
eventually murder him.
437
00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:44,010
Maybe you're intimidated,
you feel like you have to
438
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,771
go over there
but there's no reason for that.
439
00:15:45,796 --> 00:15:47,009
Guys like this
are all bluster.
440
00:15:47,010 --> 00:15:49,009
What you really would like
to do is dance?
441
00:15:49,010 --> 00:15:51,009
- Come on.
- Be careful. Leave me alone.
442
00:15:51,010 --> 00:15:53,009
[laughs]
443
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,009
Dance-off, MacNeil.
444
00:15:54,010 --> 00:15:56,009
Oh, get 'em, Cas.
445
00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:58,009
[laughter]
446
00:15:58,010 --> 00:15:59,009
Pardon me, may I cut in?
447
00:15:59,010 --> 00:16:01,009
- Thank you, yes.
- Oh!
448
00:16:01,010 --> 00:16:03,009
Come here, buddy.
449
00:16:03,010 --> 00:16:04,530
Oh, you don't like that style
of dance?
450
00:16:04,555 --> 00:16:07,009
Oh, traditional Irish
step-dancing?
451
00:16:07,010 --> 00:16:08,050
I don't know but I'll try.
452
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:09,050
Oh, you're really good at it.
Look at you.
453
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:11,009
Nobody likes feeling
like a leprechaun.
454
00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:12,009
Time for break dancing?
455
00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:14,009
Oh, break it out, MacNeil.
456
00:16:14,010 --> 00:16:16,010
Who thinks that Clovers wants
to be my best friend?
457
00:16:16,035 --> 00:16:18,009
- Yeah!
- Looks like he made his choice.
458
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:20,009
- Then circled the table.
- He made his choice.
459
00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:21,009
- We're gonna play checkers.
- Taking a lap
460
00:16:21,010 --> 00:16:23,009
to think about it.
Here he comes around here.
461
00:16:23,010 --> 00:16:24,009
- Look it. There he goes.
- The rude faces you're making.
462
00:16:24,010 --> 00:16:25,130
Oh! He just put a yellow in!
463
00:16:25,131 --> 00:16:26,331
Oh! He didn't do that [bleep].
464
00:16:26,356 --> 00:16:28,009
- You put that yellow there.
- [shouting]
465
00:16:28,010 --> 00:16:29,009
[guard blows whistle]
466
00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:30,250
- You put it there.
- [shouting]
467
00:16:30,275 --> 00:16:31,009
Visiting hours.
468
00:16:31,010 --> 00:16:32,009
MacNeil.
469
00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:34,009
You got one.
470
00:16:34,010 --> 00:16:35,050
- [bleep].
- There he goes.
471
00:16:35,051 --> 00:16:36,091
[shouting]
- There he goes.
472
00:16:36,116 --> 00:16:38,009
[laughs]
473
00:16:38,010 --> 00:16:40,009
- After you.
- [bleep].
474
00:16:40,010 --> 00:16:42,009
[door buzzes open]
475
00:16:42,010 --> 00:16:44,530
(Forrest voice-over)
Having my father see me
in a place like this
476
00:16:44,555 --> 00:16:47,009
was sure to be a difficult
experience.
477
00:16:47,010 --> 00:16:50,009
And one for which I would need
Clovers' emotional support.
478
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,009
Clovers, this is my dad.
479
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:56,009
Dad, this is Clovers.
480
00:16:56,010 --> 00:16:59,009
Uh, okay.
481
00:16:59,010 --> 00:17:02,009
Hello, Clovers.
482
00:17:02,010 --> 00:17:03,009
Well, I bailed you out.
483
00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:04,009
[sighs]
484
00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:07,009
Used the insurance money
from the house.
485
00:17:07,010 --> 00:17:09,009
Thank you so much, Dad.
486
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:12,009
I can't even tell you how
terrible it's been in here.
487
00:17:12,010 --> 00:17:14,009
Boy, it's been a crazy year,
hasn't it?
488
00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:16,009
- Yeah.
- You know?
489
00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:18,009
You picked a fight
with that guy
490
00:17:18,010 --> 00:17:21,009
for absolutely no reason,
and got shot, and nearly died.
491
00:17:21,010 --> 00:17:22,009
Yeah.
492
00:17:22,010 --> 00:17:24,009
You broke up with that nurse
493
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:27,009
in a way that she fired a gun
into the house.
494
00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:29,009
And then you burned
down the house.
495
00:17:29,010 --> 00:17:30,330
And you broke up
with another girl
496
00:17:30,355 --> 00:17:32,009
in a way that she fired an RPG
497
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,090
and blew up theother house.
498
00:17:33,115 --> 00:17:34,009
- An RPG. Yes.
- Yeah.
499
00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:36,009
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah. Yeah.
500
00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:39,009
Then you asked me fire
a bunch of arrows at you
501
00:17:39,010 --> 00:17:41,009
- and I did.
[laughter]
502
00:17:41,010 --> 00:17:43,009
Scared the hell out of me,
you know?
503
00:17:43,010 --> 00:17:46,009
And then you got lost at sea
for three months.
504
00:17:46,010 --> 00:17:48,009
- Yeah.
- I never gave up hope.
505
00:17:48,010 --> 00:17:52,009
Through it all, I told myself,
"Forrest is a good boy.
506
00:17:52,010 --> 00:17:54,009
He always has been."
507
00:17:54,010 --> 00:17:57,010
But now a man is dead and
you're charged with killing him.
508
00:18:00,010 --> 00:18:03,009
What are your values, son?
509
00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:04,170
Did I raise you
to have values
510
00:18:04,195 --> 00:18:07,009
where it's okay to kill
somebody?
511
00:18:07,010 --> 00:18:09,009
I hope not.
512
00:18:09,010 --> 00:18:11,009
So I'm out.
513
00:18:11,010 --> 00:18:15,009
I just need to take care
of myself now.
514
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,009
What are you talking about?
515
00:18:17,010 --> 00:18:21,009
Good luck, Forrest.
516
00:18:21,010 --> 00:18:22,050
Take care of him, Clovers.
517
00:18:25,010 --> 00:18:28,009
(Forrest voice-over)
And just like that,
my dad was gone.
518
00:18:28,010 --> 00:18:31,009
I would need Clovers' kindness,
support, and humor,
519
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,010
now more than ever before.
520
00:18:34,396 --> 00:18:40,056
(Forrest voice-over)
Having been shockingly abandoned
by my ex-wife and now my father,
521
00:18:40,081 --> 00:18:42,695
Clovers was the only friend
I had left in the world.
522
00:18:42,696 --> 00:18:44,695
I just wanted to tell you that--
523
00:18:44,696 --> 00:18:47,736
(Forrest voice-over)
And leaving jail meant I'd be
saying good-bye to him too.
524
00:18:47,737 --> 00:18:48,937
You know,
I just wanna tell you
525
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,695
how much your loyalty
means to me.
526
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,696
I hope that you feel
like I've been as loyal to you
527
00:18:52,697 --> 00:18:55,017
as you have been to me 'cause
that's really what friendship
528
00:18:55,042 --> 00:18:56,695
is more than anything.
529
00:18:56,696 --> 00:18:58,695
You think you're pretty slick,
huh, MacNeil?
530
00:18:58,696 --> 00:19:01,695
Stealing your best friend
back from me.
531
00:19:01,696 --> 00:19:03,136
Okay, guys, I have explained
to you--
532
00:19:03,161 --> 00:19:05,695
No more talk, McNeil.
533
00:19:05,696 --> 00:19:08,695
If Clovers isn't my friend,
he's nobody's friend.
534
00:19:08,696 --> 00:19:10,695
- [grunting]
- What are you doing?
535
00:19:10,696 --> 00:19:12,695
No! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
No, no, no!
536
00:19:12,696 --> 00:19:14,695
Playtime is over, MacNeil.
537
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:17,695
Watch your ass
or you're next.
538
00:19:17,696 --> 00:19:18,696
[grunts]
539
00:19:19,696 --> 00:19:21,695
Clovers, I got to get you
to the doctor right now.
540
00:19:21,696 --> 00:19:25,695
(Cassius)
He's dead, MacNeil,
we stabbed him in the heart.
541
00:19:25,696 --> 00:19:26,695
[somber music]
[weeping]
542
00:19:26,696 --> 00:19:28,695
Oh, no.
543
00:19:28,696 --> 00:19:30,695
Oh, God, Clovers.
544
00:19:30,696 --> 00:19:33,695
(Forrest voice-over)
Of all the things this show
had taken from me,
545
00:19:33,696 --> 00:19:36,695
the loss of Clovers,
who had understood
546
00:19:36,696 --> 00:19:39,695
and accepted me completely,
felt like the greatest tragedy
547
00:19:39,696 --> 00:19:40,695
of them all.
548
00:19:40,696 --> 00:19:44,695
It was real
and totally irreversible.
549
00:19:44,696 --> 00:19:47,695
And it revealed to me the utter
pointlessness and cruelty
550
00:19:47,696 --> 00:19:51,695
of everything that my life
had become.
551
00:19:51,696 --> 00:19:52,816
What the hell are you doing?
552
00:19:52,841 --> 00:19:55,695
They killed Clovers.
553
00:19:55,696 --> 00:19:58,695
Come on, it's time to go.
You're out.
554
00:19:58,696 --> 00:19:59,936
You just gonna leave him there?
555
00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:02,177
(Forrest voice-over)
When I began my imaginary
friendship,
556
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,695
I saw it as as an imaginary
two-way street
557
00:20:04,696 --> 00:20:05,695
between Clovers and me.
558
00:20:05,696 --> 00:20:07,695
But soon,
it came to feel more like
559
00:20:07,696 --> 00:20:11,695
an imaginary chaotic
multi-street intersection
560
00:20:11,696 --> 00:20:15,695
with traffic laws so Byzantine
and confusing
561
00:20:15,696 --> 00:20:17,695
it's hard to imagine
the result being anything
562
00:20:17,696 --> 00:20:20,695
but bloody and tragic mayhem.
563
00:20:20,696 --> 00:20:23,695
In other words, imaginary
friendship turned out to be
564
00:20:23,696 --> 00:20:24,695
one holy mess.
565
00:20:24,696 --> 00:20:27,695
And yet, Clovers did keep
my loneliness at bay.
566
00:20:27,696 --> 00:20:31,695
So I give having
an imaginary friend three stars.
567
00:20:31,696 --> 00:20:34,695
[triumphant music]
568
00:20:34,696 --> 00:20:36,695
Well, that's all the time
we have for Review.
569
00:20:36,696 --> 00:20:37,695
Good night.
570
00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:38,776
Good night and good dreams.
571
00:20:44,485 --> 00:20:49,284
I don't know, why don't giraffes
eat lollipops?
572
00:20:49,285 --> 00:20:50,284
I give up. Why not?
573
00:20:50,285 --> 00:20:53,284
[laughs]
574
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:54,284
That's silly.
575
00:20:57,285 --> 00:20:59,285
[laughs]
You're really funny.
43200
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