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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:12,055
[accordion music]
4
00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:15,102
[people singing "Hava Nagila"]
5
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,030
[singing continues]
6
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:37,472
Shit!
7
00:00:48,874 --> 00:00:50,702
Sh... Shit!
8
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,052
Damn it.
9
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:56,447
[coughing]
10
00:00:58,493 --> 00:01:00,060
-[singing continues]
-[coughing]
11
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,071
[gasping]
12
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,072
What happened to her?
13
00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:15,379
She used to be
such a nice girl!
14
00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:18,165
Hi.
15
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:20,558
[upbeat jazz music playing]
16
00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,203
[laughing]
17
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:43,641
Hi!
18
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,208
Congratulations, my love!
19
00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:46,992
How's it going? Hi.
20
00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:48,733
-[Arthur] You look great.
Congratulations.
-Congratulations, Jeremy.
21
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:49,821
-Come on, let's go!
-I can't believe...
22
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,172
[squealing excitedly]
23
00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:54,739
Good luck tonight.
We'll be the ones in the back
screaming your name.
24
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,481
[piano music playing]
25
00:03:37,695 --> 00:03:38,479
[music ends]
26
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,670
-[woman] Well done, Claire!
-[man whooping]
27
00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,326
Good luck.
28
00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:07,899
Okay, you guys,
it's just a competition.
29
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:15,951
Prestigious,
world-renowned,
career-making competition.
30
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:18,345
[girl] Let's just do it.
31
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:08,656
Well, welcome to the world
of the musician.
32
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:11,441
Rejection,
rejection, rejection.
33
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,704
[both] Rejection like
a dog in the street.
34
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,055
I taught you well.
35
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:21,495
The judges are stupid
in my opinion,
36
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,758
because you're the best
pianist I've ever heard.
You're so--
37
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,542
No, we're sunk!
38
00:05:25,673 --> 00:05:26,804
We're not sunk.
39
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,589
No, we're doomed, Claire.
40
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:30,634
Baby, that's not true.
41
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:32,419
You know that's not true.
Come on, we're okay.
42
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:34,421
We have useless degrees.
43
00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,988
[Claire chuckles]
44
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,947
What are we gonna do
with the rest of our lives?
45
00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:41,428
[sighs deeply]
46
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,346
[whispering]
47
00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:52,439
[Claire] He frigging proposed
right out of nowhere
at 3:00 a.m.
48
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:53,527
[Sabrina]
So what did you say?
49
00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:55,006
[Claire] I didn't know
what to say.
50
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,008
My heart was just
pounding at
100 beats a minute,
51
00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:58,401
and I just...
I just froze.
52
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,490
Well?
53
00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:02,449
This is big. I mean,
this is, like, magnormous.
54
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:04,320
So are you...
I mean, is it real?
55
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,061
Oh... Oh, God!
56
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:11,501
I love him. I mean,
I love him so much.
57
00:06:11,632 --> 00:06:13,373
So are you gonna
accept his proposal?
[chuckles]
58
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:17,377
[upbeat song playing]
59
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:35,046
[squeals]
60
00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:37,527
Well, little sis,
you know what this means?
61
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,355
We're gonna be married
in the same year!
62
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:40,530
We can all vacation
in the Hamptons.
63
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,358
Our children can...
64
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:43,490
That lipstick's
awfully dark.
65
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:46,884
You look hot.
66
00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:48,495
Now go get engaged.
67
00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:04,728
Yes.
68
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,689
[laughs] Yes!
69
00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:14,564
Yes what?
70
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,570
[vehicles honking]
71
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,400
He was drunk.
72
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:27,098
He doesn't
remember anything.
73
00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:29,405
He blacked out
proposing to you?
74
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,102
Did you slap him?
What did you say?
75
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,583
[Claire]
Well, it gets worse.
76
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,107
He took my hand
and squeezed it.
77
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,197
And all of a sudden
he said to me,
78
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:41,461
"I think it's time
we give this a rest, hon."
79
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:44,115
He, um...
80
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:48,119
He... I guess
he broke up with me.
81
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,557
You should have
dumped the bastard
months ago.
82
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,218
He's not gonna call.
83
00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:03,047
I know.
84
00:08:03,178 --> 00:08:05,963
You know, I should really
just go over there.
I really should.
85
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,488
Oh, no, no.
86
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:09,880
If you go over there,
he's gonna be horny.
87
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:11,229
Guys are always horny
after a breakup.
88
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:12,753
So?
89
00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:14,755
"So?"
90
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:17,714
So then you'll do him,
and you'll be mistaking it
for a reconciliation.
91
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:20,021
But in the morning
he's gonna need
his space again.
92
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:22,153
I don't smoke.
93
00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:24,242
It's very comforting.
94
00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:25,635
[Arthur] I gotta go
to the video store.
95
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,594
I got to do inventory
on a new shipment.
96
00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:29,944
Maybe we shouldn't
leave Claire alone.
97
00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,859
Oh, no, no.
I'm fine.
98
00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:34,862
I'm fine. I'm just gonna
take a little nap.
99
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:43,174
Five days!
You've been sleeping
for five days!
100
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,481
I haven't been sleeping
the whole time.
101
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,265
I've been sitting up
on occasion.
102
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,703
Well, honey, you won't
always feel this way.
103
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:52,183
Well, how long is it
gonna take?
104
00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:53,924
I don't know.
I can't tell you exactly.
105
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:57,188
It took me about
four months to
get over Bo.
106
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:58,973
Oh, please.
You're not over Bo now.
107
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,105
Thank you, Dr. Laura.
108
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:02,977
[woman] Claire.
109
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:04,718
Claire!
110
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:06,546
Claire.
111
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:09,549
Bubbala!
112
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,290
Claire, we schlepped
all the way over here,
113
00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:14,771
and we're not gonna leave
till you come out.
114
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:16,033
[brakes screeching]
115
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,209
[van door shuts]
116
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:23,258
Look, we're paying you
to break in,
no questions asked.
117
00:09:23,388 --> 00:09:24,825
[drill whirring]
118
00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:28,132
[clamoring]
119
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:36,314
Go ahead and say it, Ma.
I look like shit.
120
00:09:37,228 --> 00:09:39,579
You look like shit.
121
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:43,234
You know,
when Grandpa Alvie, the louse,
left Grandma Bitburg,
122
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:46,629
he left her with
three children to raise,
123
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,544
and a butcher shop to run.
124
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,286
The very next day,
she was smiling
125
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:55,159
as she sold a rump roast
to an old widow.
126
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:59,642
And the widow asked her,
"How can you be smiling?
You just lost your man."
127
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:04,081
And she said, "A woman's life
is like a plate of spaghetti.
128
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:07,607
A man, he's just
a meatball.
129
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,609
Does the meatball make
the spaghetti taste better?
130
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:11,306
Yes.
131
00:10:11,436 --> 00:10:13,743
Does the spaghetti
need the meatball?
132
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:14,701
No."
133
00:10:15,789 --> 00:10:16,703
You hear what I'm saying?
134
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,361
Welcome to the land
of the perpetually
depressed.
135
00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:26,669
I'll be your tour guide.
136
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:32,066
That's a lot of rejection
for one week.
137
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,545
First a fiancee,
138
00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:35,286
then a career-making
competition like
the Tchaikovsky.
139
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:37,375
But you know
what you've got
140
00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:39,247
that no one can
take away from you?
141
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,945
Great skin.
142
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:43,773
[Aunt Velva]
It gets better, bubbala.
143
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:45,819
When my Sully died,
144
00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:51,085
it went from a severe,
sharp, stabbing pain,
145
00:10:51,215 --> 00:10:54,828
to a severe
long-lasting ache.
146
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:56,656
[sobbing]
147
00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:10,191
[Sabrina] I made a list
of dateable men for you.
148
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:11,975
First is Kenny Pratt.
149
00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:14,108
Actually, I always
wanted Kenny Pratt.
That would be weird.
150
00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:15,805
But there's Alan Myers.
151
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:18,068
Mmm. He's a podiatrist.
152
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:21,681
He can do things
with his feet that you
never thought possible.
153
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:23,900
So what you gotta do
is pull up them britches,
154
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,336
strap on that helmet,
155
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,295
and jump back
in the game.
156
00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:29,689
Halftime's over, baby.
157
00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:31,386
Now, I want you
to put on your bra,
158
00:11:31,516 --> 00:11:33,040
get back to practice,
159
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,868
and just forget about
seeing that schmuck.
160
00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:42,745
Mmm. His bathroom
light is on.
161
00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:45,313
Do you see that?
Isn't that weird?
162
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:46,967
Why do you think
his bathroom light
would be on?
163
00:11:47,097 --> 00:11:49,230
[Sabrina] Probably because
he's in the bathroom.
164
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,666
Claire, darling,
what you need to do
165
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:53,060
is have some
good old-fashioned
American fun.
166
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:54,365
Now, come on,
let's get drunk.
167
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:56,324
Drunk?
168
00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:59,283
Is that what you think?
169
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,764
You think I have to
start drinking just because
my life is falling apart?
170
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:04,201
-Yeah.
-I'll have you know
I'm fine.
171
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:09,337
You know what
I need to do?
172
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:10,686
I need to just
clear the air with him
once and for all.
173
00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:11,861
You think I should
go over there?
174
00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:13,776
-No.
-No.
175
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:15,996
You guys don't understand.
176
00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:17,693
-You've got Alice.
-Yeah.
177
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:21,349
And you've got guys
lined up in a row,
and you've got Rudy.
178
00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:22,959
Who's halfway
around the world
179
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:26,180
and not gonna be home
for three more months.
180
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:28,878
Listen to you.
You sound serious.
181
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:30,314
Yeah. Well, we've been
talking about
182
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:33,013
moving things
to the next level
when he gets out.
183
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:34,884
I miss the hairy
son of a bitch.
184
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:39,149
So I've ended
the incessant masturbation.
185
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,455
-Good.
-Yeah.
186
00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:43,153
Hi.
187
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:46,156
Yeah, just once or twice
per day now
in the stock room.
188
00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:48,289
Which I like to believe
is a sign that I'm mastering
189
00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:51,248
the art of not
thinking about Alice
every second of every day.
190
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,120
Do her already!
191
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:56,079
That girl's so hot for you
she's practically laid out
runway lights.
192
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:57,907
Have you seen
these two play Scrabble?
193
00:12:58,038 --> 00:13:00,867
[sighs]
It's like foreplay.
194
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:03,913
We happen to share
a love for words, that's all.
195
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:06,481
-Yeah.
-It would never, ever work.
196
00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:07,830
Why not?
197
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:09,440
[Arthur] We rented videos.
198
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:11,791
I wanted
Prophecies of the Millennium,
199
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:13,836
a speculative hour
on impending doom,
200
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,925
and she wanted
Pretty in Pink.
201
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:19,799
Claire.
202
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:21,235
Since you're finally
out of bed tonight,
203
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:22,453
does that mean
that you're gonna
come to the party?
204
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:24,934
With no detours
to the bastard's house.
205
00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:27,719
Did I tell you
that I might have found
206
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,765
a healthy way to satisfy
my sexual frustration?
207
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,854
You're not
calling the lawyer.
208
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:36,816
She met this cute lawyer
in the fish market
who wanted phone sex.
209
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:39,209
Actually he wanted
phone sex or cybersex,
210
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,471
but I'm not online.
211
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:44,258
I said no.
212
00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:47,435
You didn't say no.
213
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:50,481
I know you.
You're a liar.
214
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,179
[Sabrina chuckles] I'm not.
215
00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:55,356
Anyway, I think phone sex
is kind of...
It's kind of skanky.
216
00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:59,360
You're so strong.
217
00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:02,102
[exhales] Ah, it feels
so good right there.
218
00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:05,366
Oh, you're so good.
219
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:07,847
You're such a good boy.
220
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:31,174
[door unlocking]
221
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:34,047
Claire?
222
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:37,877
Hey.
223
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,315
It's not that I don't
want to make love to you.
224
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:42,620
You understand?
It's just that I...
225
00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:44,622
I might mistake it
for a reconciliation,
226
00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,276
whereas you might
just be horny,
227
00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:47,843
and then in the morning
you're gonna need
your space again.
228
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,497
You know what I mean?
229
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:52,456
So I... I think that
we should really
talk first, you know?
230
00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:55,242
Just clear everything up
emotionally so there's no
confusion about anything.
231
00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:58,201
[stutters] So, yeah,
it's really, really,
really good
232
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,551
that you're gonna call
me at 7:30. Right?
233
00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:03,467
You'll call me at 7:30?
Yeah?
234
00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:06,427
Hey, I've been
screwing up my auditions.
Can I get my shoe back?
235
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,560
His shoe?
236
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:12,999
Last year we went
to see Jeremy's idol,
Andre Watts' at the symphony.
237
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,305
And when Andre comes out,
238
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,525
he practically gets
mobbed by fans
239
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:20,354
and he loses
a scarf and a shoe.
240
00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,356
Some Japanese cellist
got the scarf
241
00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:25,011
and Jeremy got the shoe.
242
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,230
Anyway, so now
he takes it with him
to all his auditions
243
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:28,492
like a good luck charm.
244
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,581
And he wanted it back.
245
00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:33,584
[Sabrina] Okay,
that's really creepy.
246
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,412
At least you didn't let
him touch you, did you?
247
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:37,458
Did you?
248
00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:41,070
He said the sweetest thing
to me last night.
249
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:44,552
He said, "The thought
of hurting you
250
00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:46,380
keeps me up at night."
251
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,471
[sighs]
252
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:53,909
I mean, it really looks like
he wants to work things out.
253
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,432
We even set up
a time to talk.
254
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:57,608
7:30, Friday night.
255
00:15:57,739 --> 00:16:00,655
I say give back
the freaky shoe
and be done with him.
256
00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:03,658
Look, for the first time
in days I'm starting to
feel a little hopeful here.
257
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,921
You know?
258
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,445
Like, maybe my life
won't be one long string
of impending disasters
259
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,056
and inescapable doom.
260
00:16:13,581 --> 00:16:15,278
[loud rumbling]
261
00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:16,453
-[glass shatters]
-[objects clatter]
262
00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:21,981
[car alarm blaring]
263
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:27,638
Jeremy?
264
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,075
[dogs barking]
265
00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:31,120
[siren wailing]
266
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:33,557
What do you mean
my building's condemned?
267
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:35,472
That building's fine,
and that building's fine.
268
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:37,431
So mine can't
be condemned.
269
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:40,216
I'm sorry, miss,
you have to vacate
within 24 hours.
270
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:42,436
There's no way I can
possibly move right now.
271
00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:44,525
I mean, where am I
supposed to go?
272
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,528
-You're home!
-Hi, Mom.
273
00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:49,312
Look who's home.
274
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:52,620
Unscathed by
the earthquake
and looking just...
275
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:55,492
Well, looking just fine.
Oh, you look fine.
276
00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:58,495
-Oh, hey Sabrina.
-Hey, Aunt Sheila.
277
00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,019
-Thanks, Arthur.
-[Arthur mutters]
278
00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:01,498
-Bennett called.
-Oh.
279
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,370
The NYU audition
is on for this Thursday.
280
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,285
That's good, Ma.
281
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:07,461
The important thing is,
I've got both my girls
under one roof.
282
00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:10,029
Claire!
[squeals excitedly]
283
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:11,639
I'm just so glad
that you're up and about.
284
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,124
My old room.
285
00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:21,431
I'm gonna puke.
286
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,741
Hey. Mom says to tell you
that dinner will be ready
in an hour.
287
00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:29,526
Oh, and a word
of warning. [chuckles]
288
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:33,226
She's, uh, experimenting
with Grandma Bitburg's
recipes.
289
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:34,662
-[sighs]
-And you remember
what happened the last time
290
00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,664
that she tried
to make Jewish food.
291
00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:39,667
Oh, look at you.
292
00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,538
Sitting on the bed
all depressed.
293
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,149
It's just like old times.
294
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:48,502
I have made
my first matzah ball soup.
295
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:50,808
I'm so excited about this.
296
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:52,288
Been working on it all day.
297
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:54,116
I want you
to try it first.
298
00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:57,293
I had a great idea.
299
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,687
How about we have
Jenine's engagement party
300
00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:01,341
right here in our living room?
301
00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:03,256
We can decorate everything,
302
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:06,389
and by that time I'll have
Grandma Bitburg's recipes
singing with life.
303
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,522
Ma, we've been
through this.
304
00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:11,220
I told you
that it would need
a major atmosphere makeover,
305
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:13,266
-and you yawned
in my ear.
-[dial tone]
306
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:16,095
Oh, but Barry and I
did decide on
our color palette.
307
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:16,878
Coral and bisque.
308
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:18,880
What's bisque?
309
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:20,534
[Jenine] Yellowish pink.
310
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:23,319
If you drink all that,
311
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:25,147
you're gonna have
a hard time going
to work tomorrow.
312
00:18:25,278 --> 00:18:26,757
Maybe I don't wanna
go to work tomorrow.
313
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:29,673
The coordinator thought
that cream was out
as a color.
314
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:31,022
Did you have a fight
with Morty?
315
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:33,764
I'm just taking some
time off work, that's all.
316
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,505
I heard you're
hoarding ding-dongs.
317
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,203
[Jenine] Do you think
I'm making a mistake?
318
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:38,726
Do you think it should
be coral and cream?
319
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,684
[Sheila]
Well, fight or no fight,
you have to go to work.
320
00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:42,077
I mean, if I didn't
go to work every time
I had a fight with someone,
321
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:43,339
if I worked, I'd be fired.
322
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:44,732
[Jenine] Because if
I'm making a mistake,
323
00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:46,081
I wish someone
would tell me.
324
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:46,908
[stutters]
Did you hear something?
325
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,518
Was that a ring?
326
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:52,827
[dial tone]
327
00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:55,786
Am I gonna have to
start crushing Prozac
in the mashed potatoes?
328
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:57,701
[music playing on stereo]
329
00:18:57,832 --> 00:18:58,659
[Claire] Hey, Jeremy.
330
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,140
Hey.
331
00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:03,620
Hey, you.
What's going on?
332
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,188
Jeremy, hi.
333
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,277
[cheerfully] Jeremy, hi.
334
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:17,330
[dialing]
335
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:23,292
Hello?
336
00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,513
Uh, yeah,
is Jeremy there?
337
00:19:29,516 --> 00:19:30,778
This is Claire.
338
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,302
Claire Goldstein.
339
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,261
Who is this?
340
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,268
[panting]
341
00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,144
-Whoa!
-Oh!
342
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:50,363
Hello, there.
343
00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:52,495
-Hi.
-Hi.
344
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:53,627
[sobbing]
345
00:19:55,716 --> 00:19:56,673
Are you okay?
346
00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:05,204
Hey, those are
great shoes.
347
00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:09,338
I'm sorry. I'm being rude.
I'm Eddie.
348
00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:10,296
Oh.
349
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:11,471
Hi.
350
00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:13,821
I'm, uh... [sniffling]
351
00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,737
I'm... I'm late for a party.
352
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:19,783
[Latin music playing]
353
00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:25,398
Halle-fucking-lujah!
354
00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:26,486
It's about time.
355
00:20:26,616 --> 00:20:27,661
[people whooping and cheering]
356
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:31,795
[laughs]
357
00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:34,276
Yay! Look, my love is here.
358
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:35,408
Oh, my God,
look who's here!
359
00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:37,540
Oh, my God!
360
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:38,759
-Wait a minute.
-What are you wearing?
361
00:20:38,889 --> 00:20:40,239
You have to take those off.
362
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:41,631
[all clamoring]
363
00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:46,332
Hi, Claire.
364
00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:48,247
[music continues]
365
00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:58,866
...8:20 and he
hadn't called me,
and so I decided to call him.
366
00:20:58,996 --> 00:21:01,521
And big-nosed
Bella Butski answered
the phone,
367
00:21:01,651 --> 00:21:04,741
and she had this...
She had this little
flitty, happy voice.
368
00:21:04,872 --> 00:21:06,395
Stay.
369
00:21:06,526 --> 00:21:07,918
He can't be
dating her, right?
370
00:21:08,049 --> 00:21:09,659
He can't be.
371
00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:11,270
I mean, the thought
of hurting me
372
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,619
is supposed to be
keeping him up at night.
373
00:21:12,749 --> 00:21:14,273
[Sabrina] The boy
is a schnauzer.
374
00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:16,405
Oh, did I tell you
who wants to date me?
375
00:21:17,014 --> 00:21:18,364
Who, the phone sex guy?
376
00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:19,930
I thought you weren't
gonna date him.
377
00:21:20,061 --> 00:21:23,760
[Sabrina]
Well, it's just one date
at Ray's on the hill.
378
00:21:23,891 --> 00:21:26,763
Ray's?
$100 a plate Ray's?
379
00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:31,942
Manny. Honey,
this is not a lab.
380
00:21:32,073 --> 00:21:35,337
I've noticed that lately
he'll answer to
the name Sheldon.
381
00:21:35,468 --> 00:21:37,121
You guys, be careful
what you eat.
382
00:21:37,252 --> 00:21:39,820
Lately, little Sheldon here
has been putting acid
in the food.
383
00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:43,432
Yesterday I found
a couple of tabs he put
in my Cocoa Puffs.
384
00:21:43,563 --> 00:21:46,435
Yeah, and I spent
the rest of the day
barking at a potato bug.
385
00:21:49,873 --> 00:21:51,440
-Put that on.
That's the one.
-Yeah.
386
00:21:51,571 --> 00:21:54,617
-[Sabrina] What do you think?
-It's fantastic.
387
00:21:54,748 --> 00:21:56,576
You're just in time
to meet Alan.
Put this on.
388
00:21:57,141 --> 00:21:58,055
Who's Alan?
389
00:21:58,752 --> 00:21:59,796
Who's Alan?
390
00:21:59,927 --> 00:22:01,015
[music continues]
391
00:22:06,194 --> 00:22:08,936
So, this, uh...
This is a great party.
392
00:22:09,066 --> 00:22:11,025
You know,
it's Sabrina's place.
393
00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:12,418
It's amazing.
394
00:22:13,157 --> 00:22:14,724
What does Sabrina do
for a living?
395
00:22:15,769 --> 00:22:16,465
She calls her father.
396
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:18,424
[chuckles]
397
00:22:23,124 --> 00:22:24,734
You seem to really
like the guacamole.
398
00:22:24,865 --> 00:22:26,345
Mmm. Mmm.
399
00:22:26,475 --> 00:22:28,347
I do, I do.
It's really good.
400
00:22:29,783 --> 00:22:33,395
Yeah. [stutters]
It's got, uh...
It's got lemon,
401
00:22:33,526 --> 00:22:35,789
and, um, cilantro, right?
402
00:22:36,485 --> 00:22:37,921
Which I do like.
403
00:22:38,052 --> 00:22:39,923
Except when I was little...
I was, like, eight, I think,
404
00:22:40,054 --> 00:22:42,317
cilantro made me
break out into
this rash.
405
00:22:42,448 --> 00:22:43,753
It was like itchy hives.
406
00:22:43,884 --> 00:22:46,626
And other spices,
I had reactions
to them also.
407
00:22:50,543 --> 00:22:52,066
Is my hand
in the guacamole?
408
00:22:53,546 --> 00:22:54,373
Yeah.
409
00:22:57,593 --> 00:22:58,768
[all vocalizing]
410
00:22:58,899 --> 00:23:00,379
[playing upbeat music]
411
00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:06,385
I only work at
the video store part-time.
412
00:23:06,515 --> 00:23:08,082
At night I'm working
on my first novel
413
00:23:08,212 --> 00:23:09,649
called I Hate People.
414
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,001
What am I
even doing here?
415
00:23:14,131 --> 00:23:16,046
I've always been
terrible at this
416
00:23:16,177 --> 00:23:18,832
happy, peppy,
party person thing.
417
00:23:18,962 --> 00:23:20,529
You're fine.
418
00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:23,010
Just relax and try to
keep your body parts
out of the food.
419
00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:26,709
-Hey.
-Hey.
420
00:23:27,928 --> 00:23:29,408
So, you're ready?
421
00:23:29,538 --> 00:23:30,800
-Just been waiting
on you.
-Good.
422
00:23:32,019 --> 00:23:33,673
Let the games begin.
423
00:23:34,587 --> 00:23:36,110
[music continues]
424
00:23:38,634 --> 00:23:40,549
Oh, I guess
one sip won't kill me.
425
00:23:43,596 --> 00:23:47,730
Manny, you are the only one
who really understands me.
426
00:23:47,861 --> 00:23:48,949
Thank you.
427
00:23:49,079 --> 00:23:51,038
-Thank you for that.
Really.
-Yeah.
428
00:23:51,168 --> 00:23:54,694
Do you ever wonder
why sheep don't shrink
when it rains?
429
00:23:56,217 --> 00:23:58,045
You are in worse shape
than I thought.
430
00:24:00,613 --> 00:24:02,832
Dinophobia?
That's not a word.
431
00:24:02,963 --> 00:24:04,965
Fear of dining
and dinner conversations.
432
00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:07,010
I don't believe you.
433
00:24:07,141 --> 00:24:09,012
No? I don't
believe "nacket."
434
00:24:09,143 --> 00:24:10,884
What the hell's a nacket?
435
00:24:11,014 --> 00:24:13,930
It's a person who
picks up stray tennis balls
during a tennis match.
436
00:24:17,020 --> 00:24:18,457
-You...
-Yeah.
437
00:24:19,936 --> 00:24:22,461
Are so challenged.
438
00:24:23,766 --> 00:24:24,985
[Claire] Well, it doesn't
make any difference
439
00:24:25,115 --> 00:24:28,423
because I'm completely
and officially done
440
00:24:28,554 --> 00:24:29,903
with love.
441
00:24:30,033 --> 00:24:31,208
I'm gonna be celibate.
442
00:24:31,339 --> 00:24:33,080
Love don't
live here anymore.
443
00:24:33,863 --> 00:24:34,908
Come here, babe.
444
00:24:37,693 --> 00:24:39,565
Stay. Oh, here.
445
00:24:41,828 --> 00:24:43,612
The time has come.
446
00:24:44,874 --> 00:24:45,745
All right, you ready?
447
00:24:49,009 --> 00:24:51,054
Who is this?
448
00:24:52,186 --> 00:24:53,535
I have no idea.
449
00:24:54,188 --> 00:24:56,103
It's the Mona Lisa.
450
00:24:56,233 --> 00:24:57,887
[Claire]
That's the Mona Lisa?
451
00:24:58,018 --> 00:25:01,804
Believe it or not,
but she is your key
to getting men.
452
00:25:01,935 --> 00:25:03,110
Mmm-hmm.
453
00:25:03,980 --> 00:25:05,591
[trumpet playing]
454
00:25:07,157 --> 00:25:09,638
-[snoring]
-[people speaking indistinctly]
455
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:15,905
Damn it! She won again!
456
00:25:16,036 --> 00:25:17,907
How... Hey.
457
00:25:18,038 --> 00:25:20,606
Hey, have you ever
heard of a... a nacket?
458
00:25:21,694 --> 00:25:23,347
[Sabrina] Why do you think
459
00:25:23,478 --> 00:25:26,742
that the whole world
is so obsessed
with the Mona Lisa?
460
00:25:26,873 --> 00:25:30,050
Because no one knows
what she's thinking.
461
00:25:30,180 --> 00:25:32,705
I mean, is she sneering?
Is she smiling?
462
00:25:32,835 --> 00:25:33,793
Is she smirking?
463
00:25:35,838 --> 00:25:39,842
That's why whenever
a guy comes towards you
464
00:25:39,973 --> 00:25:41,235
that you want,
465
00:25:41,365 --> 00:25:44,194
you have to think like Mona.
466
00:25:44,325 --> 00:25:46,196
-[glass shattering]
-You just have
to be like Mona.
467
00:25:46,327 --> 00:25:49,112
-Be like Mona.
-[thudding]
468
00:25:49,243 --> 00:25:50,636
-[trumpet continues playing]
-[siren wailing]
469
00:25:52,072 --> 00:25:53,247
[horn blaring]
470
00:25:54,814 --> 00:25:55,641
[siren wailing]
471
00:26:00,907 --> 00:26:01,995
[groaning]
472
00:26:06,129 --> 00:26:07,130
[jackhammers drilling]
473
00:26:13,267 --> 00:26:14,573
[jackhammer drilling]
474
00:26:33,287 --> 00:26:34,680
[Eddie] Hey.
475
00:26:37,944 --> 00:26:38,727
Hey.
476
00:26:39,989 --> 00:26:43,166
Hey. Found new shoes.
477
00:26:43,297 --> 00:26:45,081
-Hmm?
-New shoes.
478
00:26:45,212 --> 00:26:46,735
Oh. Oh, my God.
479
00:26:47,997 --> 00:26:49,651
If you can call them shoes.
480
00:26:51,305 --> 00:26:52,611
Oh.
481
00:26:54,003 --> 00:26:55,744
You okay? You don't
look too good.
482
00:26:55,875 --> 00:26:57,093
Yeah, well, that's because
483
00:26:57,224 --> 00:26:59,748
my head is about to
implode at any second.
484
00:26:59,879 --> 00:27:01,054
[chuckles]
485
00:27:02,795 --> 00:27:03,970
I can fix that.
486
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:05,972
Hey.
487
00:27:10,890 --> 00:27:12,152
Are you sure about this?
488
00:27:13,762 --> 00:27:15,068
This can't be
your first hangover.
489
00:27:16,069 --> 00:27:17,287
It is.
490
00:27:17,940 --> 00:27:19,072
Well...
491
00:27:20,290 --> 00:27:20,987
[crossdresser] Smile!
492
00:27:27,733 --> 00:27:29,648
[laughs] Ow!
493
00:27:30,387 --> 00:27:31,650
Let me see this.
494
00:27:34,348 --> 00:27:37,656
Yeah. I think
that these two people
should go out for pizza.
495
00:27:44,184 --> 00:27:45,359
[Sheila] Does anybody
know where Claire is?
496
00:27:45,489 --> 00:27:47,056
She didn't come home
last night.
497
00:27:47,187 --> 00:27:49,319
[Ida] Maybe she left early
to get a good practice room.
498
00:27:49,450 --> 00:27:50,799
No. Her bed
wasn't slept in.
499
00:27:50,930 --> 00:27:52,758
Hello, hello.
Don't you get it?
500
00:27:52,888 --> 00:27:54,977
Barry hates
multi-colored hydrangea.
501
00:27:55,108 --> 00:27:56,675
You know,
I just don't get it.
502
00:27:56,805 --> 00:27:58,328
For 15 years,
the piano's her life.
503
00:27:58,459 --> 00:28:01,854
Now, one schmuck dumps her
and she just loses it.
504
00:28:01,984 --> 00:28:03,769
-[oven timer dings]
-Oh, Christ, my latkes.
505
00:28:03,899 --> 00:28:05,684
[Jenine] And with
escrow closing now,
506
00:28:05,814 --> 00:28:07,424
Barry will be back
from Boston any day.
507
00:28:07,555 --> 00:28:09,862
Why do you have
to move to Boston?
508
00:28:09,992 --> 00:28:11,951
Do you have any idea
how cold it gets there?
509
00:28:12,081 --> 00:28:14,083
As a partner,
his salary will triple.
510
00:28:14,214 --> 00:28:16,346
In a couple years,
he'll be able to start
his own practice.
511
00:28:16,477 --> 00:28:19,262
Did I ever tell you about
Marion Brickmeyer's cousin?
512
00:28:19,393 --> 00:28:21,917
He moved to Boston,
got caught in a winter storm,
513
00:28:22,048 --> 00:28:24,180
and lost a pinky toe.
True story.
514
00:28:24,311 --> 00:28:25,965
Ma, I'm really not up
for one of your stories
right now.
515
00:28:27,140 --> 00:28:28,141
Excuse me.
516
00:28:32,536 --> 00:28:35,452
Well, good morning,
sunshine.
517
00:28:37,411 --> 00:28:39,892
[Sheila] So...
where were you all night?
518
00:28:40,022 --> 00:28:42,721
We were worried
you'd been killed or worse.
519
00:28:43,983 --> 00:28:45,811
Well, I was, um...
520
00:28:46,376 --> 00:28:49,162
out... with friends.
521
00:28:52,121 --> 00:28:52,992
Doing yoga.
522
00:28:54,123 --> 00:28:54,733
[softly] Yoga?
523
00:28:55,516 --> 00:28:57,474
Lots and lots
of yoga.
524
00:29:45,174 --> 00:29:46,088
Morning.
525
00:29:47,437 --> 00:29:48,395
Hey, Dad.
526
00:29:58,927 --> 00:30:01,016
Your mom's a little
worried about you.
527
00:30:01,147 --> 00:30:03,802
She says you're not eating
and you're not sleeping.
528
00:30:05,673 --> 00:30:08,807
I think I may have done
a really stupid thing.
529
00:30:09,546 --> 00:30:11,984
I accepted a date.
530
00:30:12,114 --> 00:30:14,116
Well, the important thing is,
is he Jewish?
531
00:30:14,247 --> 00:30:16,292
[giggles]
532
00:30:16,423 --> 00:30:18,338
What's the big deal?
It's just a date.
533
00:30:18,468 --> 00:30:20,906
I know, but what
if Jeremy sees us?
534
00:30:21,036 --> 00:30:22,951
I mean, he'll think
I'm dating someone else.
535
00:30:23,082 --> 00:30:25,301
And not to mention the fact
that I don't get
536
00:30:25,432 --> 00:30:28,130
this whole poker-face
Mona Lisathing.
537
00:30:28,261 --> 00:30:31,351
I mean,
what do I talk about?
538
00:30:31,481 --> 00:30:32,961
First dates are simple.
539
00:30:33,092 --> 00:30:34,876
Just don't talk
about former boyfriends
540
00:30:35,007 --> 00:30:38,532
or kids or marriage
or breakups.
541
00:30:38,662 --> 00:30:40,316
Fears, insecurities.
542
00:30:40,447 --> 00:30:42,144
Oh, dieting or religion.
543
00:30:42,275 --> 00:30:44,451
Religion's a...
You know what?
544
00:30:44,581 --> 00:30:48,281
Just talk about... him.
545
00:30:50,152 --> 00:30:52,328
You know what? Men love
to talk about themselves.
546
00:30:52,459 --> 00:30:54,113
Oh, and make sure
somewhere in the date,
547
00:30:54,243 --> 00:30:57,333
you slip in that you slept
with women, okay?
548
00:30:57,464 --> 00:30:59,335
Tell him I've slept
with women?
549
00:30:59,466 --> 00:31:00,510
[thunderclap]
550
00:31:08,518 --> 00:31:09,998
-Hey.
-Hey!
551
00:31:10,129 --> 00:31:12,131
-[laughs]
-Are we in the right place?
552
00:31:12,261 --> 00:31:13,523
I thought you said
we were meeting for pizza.
553
00:31:13,654 --> 00:31:16,004
Yeah. We are.
Should be here.
554
00:31:16,135 --> 00:31:17,179
[motorbike approaching]
555
00:31:17,310 --> 00:31:18,877
Right about now.
556
00:31:25,492 --> 00:31:27,886
-[laughs]
-Excuse me.
557
00:31:28,016 --> 00:31:30,192
Are you sure
we're allowed to do this?
558
00:31:30,323 --> 00:31:31,585
I am...
559
00:31:32,368 --> 00:31:34,022
sure we're not allowed
to do it.
560
00:31:34,153 --> 00:31:35,328
[Claire giggles]
561
00:31:35,458 --> 00:31:36,503
Madame.
562
00:31:36,633 --> 00:31:38,244
[thunderclap]
563
00:31:38,374 --> 00:31:39,549
Nice weather, huh?
564
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:41,029
[Claire] Yeah, beautiful.
565
00:31:42,248 --> 00:31:43,553
I used to come here
all the time.
566
00:31:43,684 --> 00:31:45,120
They closed this place
a couple of years ago.
567
00:31:45,251 --> 00:31:46,252
Huh.
568
00:31:46,382 --> 00:31:47,514
I don't know why.
569
00:31:49,124 --> 00:31:50,517
[Claire] Wow!
570
00:31:51,997 --> 00:31:53,999
Look at this!
This is beautiful!
571
00:31:54,129 --> 00:31:56,305
-Yeah. Had my first date
here, too.
-You did?
572
00:31:56,436 --> 00:31:58,351
Tamara Beth Bachama.
573
00:31:58,481 --> 00:31:59,874
Actually,
it was a field trip,
574
00:32:00,005 --> 00:32:03,486
-But I did hold her hand.
Let's go! Now!
-[laughing]
575
00:32:03,617 --> 00:32:06,054
I stole cars,
I stole car parts...
576
00:32:07,099 --> 00:32:08,317
I stole an ambulance.
577
00:32:08,448 --> 00:32:10,015
[laughs] Why?
578
00:32:10,145 --> 00:32:11,886
I don't know.
I was bored.
579
00:32:12,017 --> 00:32:13,583
I was an idiot.
580
00:32:13,714 --> 00:32:15,934
I mean, things only started
to change when my dad died.
581
00:32:16,064 --> 00:32:17,544
Left me and my brothers
the market.
582
00:32:17,674 --> 00:32:19,546
-Market?
-The fish market.
583
00:32:20,764 --> 00:32:22,679
Wait a minute!
584
00:32:22,810 --> 00:32:24,725
You're Eddie Marblatt
of Marblatt's?
585
00:32:26,683 --> 00:32:28,250
[laughs]
586
00:32:28,381 --> 00:32:30,383
So, I mean, it was
only like a year
after my dad kicked it,
587
00:32:30,513 --> 00:32:31,645
my mom's health
is failing.
588
00:32:31,775 --> 00:32:34,039
The business was...
Well, it was going down.
589
00:32:34,561 --> 00:32:36,128
So what happened?
590
00:32:36,258 --> 00:32:38,260
I mean, it's like a big
successful chain now.
591
00:32:38,391 --> 00:32:40,959
My brother.
He thought up our mascot,
Terry the Tuna.
592
00:32:41,089 --> 00:32:42,569
[Claire chuckles]
593
00:32:42,699 --> 00:32:43,700
Yeah. You know,
we got those commercials
594
00:32:43,831 --> 00:32:45,702
where the tuna's
tap-dancing and singing.
595
00:32:45,833 --> 00:32:47,356
-You don't know that?
-Mmm.
596
00:32:47,487 --> 00:32:51,273
♪ Tuna, swordfish
Salmon filet ♪
597
00:32:51,404 --> 00:32:54,668
♪ Marblatt's, the freshest
Catch of the day ♪
598
00:32:54,798 --> 00:32:57,976
I just sang to you.
I can't believe I just
sang to you. [laughs]
599
00:32:58,106 --> 00:33:00,065
I feel like I'm yapping, too.
Am I talking too much?
600
00:33:00,195 --> 00:33:02,719
Tell me about you.
You play piano. What else?
601
00:33:02,850 --> 00:33:06,245
Um... well,
I'm a Sagittarius.
602
00:33:06,375 --> 00:33:07,289
Scorpio.
603
00:33:07,420 --> 00:33:11,076
[laughs] Um, I like overalls.
604
00:33:11,511 --> 00:33:13,121
And...
605
00:33:16,559 --> 00:33:18,083
I like women.
606
00:33:24,437 --> 00:33:26,178
Why would you tell him
you like women?
607
00:33:26,308 --> 00:33:28,180
-I don't know.
I panicked, okay?
-[video game beeping]
608
00:33:28,310 --> 00:33:30,312
How am I supposed
to just slip it in there
that I slept with women?
609
00:33:30,443 --> 00:33:32,662
I mean, there I am,
smiling my goofy-ass smile,
610
00:33:32,793 --> 00:33:34,229
careful not
to reveal too much,
611
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:35,622
and then,
"Oh, by the way,
I'm a lesbian"?
612
00:33:35,752 --> 00:33:37,189
[chuckles]
You got it all wrong.
613
00:33:37,319 --> 00:33:39,974
No, you're not a lesbian.
You just slept with women.
614
00:33:40,105 --> 00:33:41,062
But you also have
to let them know
615
00:33:41,193 --> 00:33:43,108
that nothing
compares to a penis.
616
00:33:43,238 --> 00:33:45,066
This is insane.
I can't keep up.
617
00:33:45,675 --> 00:33:47,155
All right. Come here.
618
00:33:48,417 --> 00:33:49,897
What?
619
00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:52,334
There's an unwritten rule
that men are turned on
by women
620
00:33:52,465 --> 00:33:54,075
who've had sexual liaisons
with other women.
621
00:33:54,423 --> 00:33:55,990
Okay.
622
00:33:56,121 --> 00:33:58,384
But in order to
keep their egos
and their libidos intact,
623
00:33:58,514 --> 00:34:00,299
you have to let them know
it was a worthwhile experience,
624
00:34:00,429 --> 00:34:04,042
but there is nothing
that compares to a penis.
625
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,047
-[chuckles]
-Why do you have
that look on your face?
626
00:34:09,177 --> 00:34:10,048
What? I don't.
627
00:34:10,570 --> 00:34:12,180
You do, too.
628
00:34:12,311 --> 00:34:14,704
Oh, my God.
[gasps] You didn't?
629
00:34:14,835 --> 00:34:17,055
-No!
-You totally did!
630
00:34:17,185 --> 00:34:19,144
I know you did it
with phone sex guy!
631
00:34:19,274 --> 00:34:22,625
I had a three-minute orgasm.
632
00:34:22,756 --> 00:34:26,673
Three-minute orgasm!
633
00:34:26,803 --> 00:34:29,371
Oh, my God!
That's so amazing!
634
00:34:29,502 --> 00:34:30,416
Oh, my God.
635
00:34:30,546 --> 00:34:32,331
[bell tolling]
636
00:34:32,461 --> 00:34:35,073
[Claire] So, what's this whole
Marseilles thing all about?
637
00:34:35,203 --> 00:34:37,510
It's nothing.
Just an opportunity to perform
638
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:39,512
and take home a shitload
of foreign money.
639
00:34:39,642 --> 00:34:41,557
But I don't understand.
How come you turned it down?
640
00:34:41,688 --> 00:34:44,169
Because I'm happy here.
I don't feel like taking
641
00:34:44,299 --> 00:34:46,258
my whole godforsaken
existence off to France.
642
00:34:46,388 --> 00:34:47,911
Yeah, that's good.
643
00:34:48,042 --> 00:34:51,263
[chuckles] Excuse me?
Hello, this is me
you're talking to.
644
00:34:51,393 --> 00:34:53,613
You've always wanted to
get back to performing.
645
00:34:53,743 --> 00:34:56,572
[chuckles]
And aren't you the guy
that named your dog Mitterrand?
646
00:34:56,703 --> 00:34:58,183
[both chuckle]
647
00:34:58,313 --> 00:35:00,228
You practically
dream in French.
648
00:35:00,359 --> 00:35:02,100
Yeah, well, that's why
they're dreams, huh?
649
00:35:06,843 --> 00:35:08,236
[sighs]
650
00:35:08,367 --> 00:35:10,760
Man, I used to come in here
and daydream for hours.
651
00:35:10,891 --> 00:35:12,284
I know.
652
00:35:12,414 --> 00:35:14,721
That's why I used to leave
the door unlocked for you.
653
00:35:16,592 --> 00:35:18,507
You did?
654
00:35:18,638 --> 00:35:20,553
Come on. We'll come back
to rehearse later.
655
00:35:22,381 --> 00:35:25,514
Ah, forget Tchaikovsky.
Dead son of a bitch.
656
00:35:25,645 --> 00:35:27,168
[Claire laughs]
657
00:35:28,778 --> 00:35:31,172
[Claire] Okay, so why
do you guys always meet
at a hotel?
658
00:35:31,303 --> 00:35:33,609
Oh, 'cause he's married.
659
00:35:33,740 --> 00:35:35,785
Uh, you didn't tell me
this one was married.
660
00:35:35,916 --> 00:35:38,136
Yeah. That's
the total best part.
661
00:35:38,266 --> 00:35:40,355
How? How is that
the total best part?
662
00:35:40,486 --> 00:35:43,141
Because so am I,
practically.
663
00:35:43,271 --> 00:35:44,751
I mean, when Rudy
comes home next year,
664
00:35:44,881 --> 00:35:46,753
I love him,
and then we'll probably
get engaged.
665
00:35:46,883 --> 00:35:49,712
-Where are you going?
-Come on, Arthur!
666
00:35:49,843 --> 00:35:51,801
Well, emotionally,
I'm stable,
667
00:35:51,932 --> 00:35:55,588
it's just,
physically I'm deficient.
668
00:35:55,718 --> 00:35:57,285
It's like I need
a vitamin or something.
669
00:35:57,416 --> 00:35:59,809
Just a little vitamin
from time to time.
670
00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:02,638
How often do you
take your vitamin?
671
00:36:02,769 --> 00:36:04,640
Not very often.
672
00:36:04,771 --> 00:36:07,295
He spends a lot of time
with his family,
which I respect.
673
00:36:08,470 --> 00:36:10,385
He has kids?
674
00:36:10,516 --> 00:36:13,432
Yes. He has two.
One with
his first wife, Laura
675
00:36:13,562 --> 00:36:15,651
and one with
his second wife, Mimi.
676
00:36:15,782 --> 00:36:18,176
-So he was married before?
-He's still married.
677
00:36:18,306 --> 00:36:21,266
So your new boyfriend's
a bigamist?
678
00:36:21,396 --> 00:36:24,312
Well, I love Rudy,
and Carl's emotionally
invested elsewhere,
679
00:36:24,443 --> 00:36:25,835
which leaves me
the only part I want...
680
00:36:25,966 --> 00:36:27,924
his bellybutton,
where I can stick my--
681
00:36:28,055 --> 00:36:29,404
[Claire] Are you
hearing yourself?
682
00:36:30,579 --> 00:36:32,842
You're dating
a married bigamist.
683
00:36:32,973 --> 00:36:34,844
Hey, do I judge
your fish man?
684
00:36:35,889 --> 00:36:37,717
Okay, I'm outta here.
685
00:36:37,847 --> 00:36:41,155
Hey, wait. Oh, no.
Don't tell me you're gonna
go see Bennett.
686
00:36:41,286 --> 00:36:43,201
All he's gonna do
is nag, nag, nag!
687
00:36:43,331 --> 00:36:44,376
[playing piano]
688
00:36:48,510 --> 00:36:49,903
It's one breath.
689
00:36:54,342 --> 00:36:55,822
You know, I feel like...
690
00:36:55,952 --> 00:36:58,694
I feel like I'm in such
a great place right now.
691
00:36:58,825 --> 00:37:00,696
I feel like I'm just
in charge of my life.
692
00:37:00,827 --> 00:37:04,613
And it's great 'cause
I've let go of Jeremy,
you know?
693
00:37:04,744 --> 00:37:06,311
Wow. It's amazing.
694
00:37:08,922 --> 00:37:11,446
It really is.
I mean, hardly ever
695
00:37:11,577 --> 00:37:13,970
do I stand outside
his window anymore,
696
00:37:14,101 --> 00:37:16,321
hoping I'll just
bump into him.
697
00:37:16,843 --> 00:37:18,714
Which is good.
698
00:37:18,845 --> 00:37:19,889
I'm sorry.
What were you saying?
699
00:37:21,761 --> 00:37:24,807
The audition?
NYU? Tomorrow?
700
00:37:24,938 --> 00:37:27,375
Oh, yeah.
Tough competition.
701
00:37:29,421 --> 00:37:31,684
You're not concentrating.
Listen to me.
702
00:37:31,814 --> 00:37:34,513
The judge, Mohammed,
hardly ever smiles.
703
00:37:34,643 --> 00:37:37,516
Bad teeth.
Hit by an oboe.
Long story.
704
00:37:37,646 --> 00:37:39,735
-I just don't want that
to throw you, okay?
-Okay.
705
00:37:39,866 --> 00:37:42,608
Okay, how about
we take the final passage
once through.
706
00:37:42,738 --> 00:37:44,392
One breath, okay?
707
00:37:56,970 --> 00:37:58,928
You know, I feel really good
about this, so I'm...
708
00:37:59,059 --> 00:38:00,843
So I'm all set.
I'll just see you tomorrow.
709
00:38:00,974 --> 00:38:02,323
Okay. So, um,
let me guess.
710
00:38:02,454 --> 00:38:04,282
You're running off
to Sabrina's.
711
00:38:04,412 --> 00:38:06,501
You know, I swear
that girl is a vampire.
712
00:38:06,632 --> 00:38:08,068
What?
713
00:38:08,198 --> 00:38:09,112
You ever see
a picture of her?
How about a reflection?
714
00:38:09,243 --> 00:38:10,853
She got that
little fangy thing.
715
00:38:10,984 --> 00:38:13,291
[giggles] I'll see you later.
716
00:38:13,421 --> 00:38:14,901
So, I'm standing there
in the doorway,
717
00:38:15,031 --> 00:38:17,469
and I'm like, "Yes!
Of course I want
to marry you!"
718
00:38:17,599 --> 00:38:19,949
-And I go, "Yes."
And he goes, "Yes what?"
-Oh!
719
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,474
We kind of realized
the romance was dead
720
00:38:22,604 --> 00:38:25,303
when he started doing tricks
with his penis.
721
00:38:25,433 --> 00:38:27,870
-[laughter]
-Guys, I once dated a guy
722
00:38:28,001 --> 00:38:29,568
who had to talk to
his penis during sex.
723
00:38:29,698 --> 00:38:31,396
What did he say?
724
00:38:31,526 --> 00:38:33,441
"Come on, Pepe.
You can do it, Pepe."
725
00:38:33,572 --> 00:38:35,530
-[whooping]
-[all laughing]
726
00:38:35,661 --> 00:38:39,447
-[speaking indistinctly]
-Most of the time.
727
00:38:39,578 --> 00:38:40,666
Pepe couldn't do it.
728
00:38:40,796 --> 00:38:42,407
[all laughing]
729
00:38:45,714 --> 00:38:47,934
[Claire] Marijuana
doesn't work on me.
730
00:38:48,064 --> 00:38:49,414
It just doesn't work on me.
731
00:39:10,739 --> 00:39:13,655
-Oh, my God!
I have to go home.
-[woman laughing]
732
00:39:13,786 --> 00:39:16,354
-No! No!
-I have to go home! I do!
733
00:39:16,484 --> 00:39:18,443
I have
an audition tomorrow.
734
00:39:36,722 --> 00:39:37,636
[panting]
735
00:39:41,814 --> 00:39:42,641
[exhales]
736
00:39:50,170 --> 00:39:52,433
I told them you were
covering a class for me.
737
00:39:53,608 --> 00:39:56,698
They just so happen to have
a second round tomorrow.
738
00:39:58,787 --> 00:40:00,398
Do you think
you can make it?
739
00:40:07,883 --> 00:40:09,058
[Claire] I'm not ready.
740
00:40:09,189 --> 00:40:12,061
You're ready.
The piece is beautiful.
741
00:40:12,192 --> 00:40:14,542
I'm rusty.
My hands are cold.
742
00:40:14,673 --> 00:40:16,631
I have a...
I have a cramp
in my wrist.
743
00:40:16,762 --> 00:40:17,893
I... I...
744
00:40:18,459 --> 00:40:19,765
My hairstyle is old.
745
00:40:19,895 --> 00:40:21,810
I haven't been practicing.
746
00:40:21,941 --> 00:40:23,682
Really? I like your hair.
747
00:40:25,161 --> 00:40:27,120
[both laughing]
748
00:40:28,034 --> 00:40:29,383
Come on. You ready?
749
00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:30,776
-Yeah.
-Let's go.
750
00:40:31,907 --> 00:40:32,995
[both laughing]
751
00:40:40,873 --> 00:40:42,048
[gasps]
752
00:40:45,704 --> 00:40:48,141
Oh, Holy Mother Mary.
753
00:40:51,753 --> 00:40:52,537
[gasps]
754
00:40:55,583 --> 00:40:57,019
I just don't know
how comfortable I am
755
00:40:57,150 --> 00:40:59,631
with this whole
Christmas vibe thing.
756
00:40:59,761 --> 00:41:01,894
-Come on, it's just--
-No, it's cool.
757
00:41:03,635 --> 00:41:05,593
-Claire!
-[Claire] Make me over, baby.
758
00:41:06,202 --> 00:41:07,856
Head to toe.
759
00:41:07,987 --> 00:41:11,164
[gasps] Jeremy's
dating somebody.
760
00:41:13,122 --> 00:41:17,953
Oh, girl, it is time
to have some fun!
Let's go!
761
00:41:18,084 --> 00:41:19,607
[hip-hop music playing]
762
00:41:22,915 --> 00:41:24,482
[indistinct chatter]
763
00:41:35,797 --> 00:41:37,756
So, who do you want
to dance with?
764
00:41:38,278 --> 00:41:39,758
[both rapping]
765
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:46,634
So, who do you want
to come up to us?
766
00:41:46,895 --> 00:41:48,027
Um...
767
00:41:49,985 --> 00:41:51,813
Those two over there
are kind of cute.
768
00:41:51,944 --> 00:41:52,771
At the table.
769
00:41:55,687 --> 00:41:56,514
Okay.
770
00:42:15,184 --> 00:42:16,795
[Claire] Oh, my God.
Oh, my God,
they're coming over.
771
00:42:16,925 --> 00:42:18,405
What did you do?
772
00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:20,625
Okay, whatever you do,
do not leave my side,
all right?
773
00:42:20,755 --> 00:42:21,539
Okay.
774
00:42:21,669 --> 00:42:22,801
-Okay, promise.
-Uh-huh.
775
00:42:25,630 --> 00:42:26,979
-Hey.
-Hey.
776
00:42:27,370 --> 00:42:28,633
Hey.
777
00:42:28,894 --> 00:42:29,895
Hey.
778
00:42:32,201 --> 00:42:33,289
Do you want to dance?
779
00:42:34,987 --> 00:42:36,554
Absolutely.
780
00:42:44,039 --> 00:42:46,868
You know, my friend told me
I wouldn't have
a chance with you
781
00:42:46,999 --> 00:42:49,958
since you remind us
of that sexy new girl
on Baywatch.
782
00:42:50,089 --> 00:42:53,745
You know,
the one with the pouty eyes
and smoldering lips.
783
00:42:53,875 --> 00:42:55,703
You know, that can do
sign language underwater.
784
00:42:57,052 --> 00:42:58,184
Um...
785
00:42:59,141 --> 00:43:00,490
excuse me.
786
00:43:00,621 --> 00:43:02,580
Oh, it's all right.
You want to dance?
No. Okay.
787
00:43:07,019 --> 00:43:09,630
Okay. Okay.
When you see
somebody that you like,
788
00:43:09,761 --> 00:43:11,197
you look at them,
then you look away.
789
00:43:11,327 --> 00:43:12,546
Then you wait five seconds,
you look back
790
00:43:12,677 --> 00:43:15,027
and you think...
anything, okay?
791
00:43:15,157 --> 00:43:16,681
Be like Mona.
792
00:43:16,811 --> 00:43:19,684
Okay, so I look at them,
I look away,
793
00:43:19,814 --> 00:43:20,815
I look back at them...
794
00:43:20,946 --> 00:43:23,601
-Be like Mona.
-Like Mona, okay.
795
00:43:24,036 --> 00:43:25,646
[rapping]
796
00:44:38,850 --> 00:44:39,807
[thuds]
797
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,028
Is that a pretzel
in her hair?
798
00:44:43,158 --> 00:44:45,247
Claire, sweetheart,
you have to eat something.
799
00:44:45,378 --> 00:44:48,860
You cannot stay up all night
and then not eat anything.
800
00:44:48,990 --> 00:44:52,167
You're gonna
wind up anorexic
like Wilma Rizucchi.
801
00:44:52,298 --> 00:44:54,213
She got so skinny,
her mother wanted
802
00:44:54,343 --> 00:44:55,910
to send her to Italy
to fatten her up,
803
00:44:56,041 --> 00:44:57,825
but she stayed in New York
and she became a model.
804
00:44:57,956 --> 00:45:00,175
True story. Bernie,
bring me some dry toast.
805
00:45:00,306 --> 00:45:03,048
Bernie? Bernie?
806
00:45:03,178 --> 00:45:04,397
Bernie,
what are you looking at?
807
00:45:04,527 --> 00:45:07,008
Great-aunt Wanda.
She had beautiful hair.
808
00:45:10,882 --> 00:45:14,189
What is he talking about?
Aunt Wanda's been dead
for 12 years.
809
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:15,800
He's going out of his mind.
810
00:45:15,930 --> 00:45:18,324
Oh, no. It's just
a mid-life crisis.
811
00:45:18,454 --> 00:45:21,980
My Maury, rest his soul,
went through the same thing.
812
00:45:22,110 --> 00:45:24,678
Every morning,
he'd touch his bald spot
813
00:45:24,809 --> 00:45:26,114
and relive the moment
814
00:45:26,245 --> 00:45:29,683
that he sang with
The Andrews Sisters.
815
00:45:29,814 --> 00:45:32,686
Didn't touch me
for six months.
816
00:45:32,817 --> 00:45:35,341
Ma, that's too much
information.
817
00:45:37,865 --> 00:45:38,866
[Claire] Hey,
can I ask you something?
818
00:45:39,345 --> 00:45:40,215
Sure.
819
00:45:41,869 --> 00:45:45,873
Do you ever wonder
whether Barry's the one?
820
00:45:46,004 --> 00:45:48,441
You know?
If you're doing
the right thing?
821
00:45:48,571 --> 00:45:51,183
No. Not really.
822
00:45:51,313 --> 00:45:53,968
Well, once, maybe.
823
00:45:55,361 --> 00:45:59,365
Early on, when we were,
um, dating,
824
00:45:59,495 --> 00:46:03,935
we were meeting
some friends at that, uh...
That gay bar on 12th,
825
00:46:04,065 --> 00:46:07,982
and... [chuckles]
the bartender knew
what Barry drank
826
00:46:08,591 --> 00:46:10,028
before he ordered.
827
00:46:11,507 --> 00:46:14,249
Wh... What are you saying?
You think that Barry's gay?
828
00:46:15,468 --> 00:46:18,384
No. No, that he drinks.
829
00:46:18,514 --> 00:46:21,953
I don't want to
raise children in a house
with alcohol,
830
00:46:22,083 --> 00:46:26,000
so we, we talked it over
and... and he agreed
with me.
831
00:46:26,131 --> 00:46:27,306
It's all
about communication.
832
00:46:30,396 --> 00:46:34,008
Now why do people complain
about bridesmaids' dresses?
833
00:46:34,139 --> 00:46:36,402
You look like a blooming
wildflower of the desert.
834
00:46:38,012 --> 00:46:39,492
-Right over here!
Perfect! Perfect!
-[buzzer sounds]
835
00:46:39,622 --> 00:46:41,842
Oh, it's him!
I can't believe you guys
836
00:46:41,973 --> 00:46:43,539
are finally getting
to meet Carl!
837
00:46:43,670 --> 00:46:46,238
You're gonna love him.
Come in!
838
00:46:46,368 --> 00:46:49,023
Ah, I have this
amazing ability
to keep things separate.
839
00:46:49,154 --> 00:46:51,765
It's like I can
compartmentalize my men.
840
00:46:51,896 --> 00:46:52,984
-[chuckles]
-Compartmentalize?
841
00:46:53,114 --> 00:46:55,247
So, like, Rudy's in
the love compartment
842
00:46:55,377 --> 00:46:56,901
and Carl's in
the sex compartment?
843
00:46:57,031 --> 00:46:59,033
Yes. Separate but equal.
844
00:46:59,164 --> 00:47:00,295
How do I look?
845
00:47:00,426 --> 00:47:02,036
-You look amazing.
-Ah!
846
00:47:04,604 --> 00:47:06,040
-[dance music playing]
-[indistinct chatter]
847
00:47:15,615 --> 00:47:17,182
Enchante,darling!
848
00:47:17,922 --> 00:47:19,010
Hey, darling!
849
00:47:20,446 --> 00:47:22,404
C'est si bon,darling.
How's it going?
850
00:47:22,535 --> 00:47:24,319
I feel ridiculous
in this getup.
851
00:47:24,450 --> 00:47:27,018
What? You look so hot!
852
00:47:27,148 --> 00:47:30,978
-Really?
-Mmm. Only the most
wicked guy at the party
853
00:47:31,109 --> 00:47:32,066
is looking at you right now.
854
00:47:32,197 --> 00:47:34,025
-Where?
-Three o'clock.
855
00:47:36,375 --> 00:47:38,159
[Sabrina] Oh, my God.
He's coming over.
856
00:47:38,290 --> 00:47:39,944
You are running the show.
857
00:47:41,380 --> 00:47:42,555
Have a chip.
858
00:47:44,949 --> 00:47:47,299
Tonight you're Mona, baby.
859
00:47:48,300 --> 00:47:50,911
[sighs] I'm Mona, baby.
860
00:47:55,307 --> 00:47:56,874
-[man] Hi.
-Hey.
861
00:47:58,527 --> 00:48:01,182
How's the, uh, guacamole?
862
00:48:02,618 --> 00:48:04,055
I've had better.
863
00:48:08,711 --> 00:48:10,975
-[man] Big time!
-[all cheering]
864
00:48:11,105 --> 00:48:13,151
I'm not saying that
"exogamy" isn't a word,
865
00:48:13,281 --> 00:48:14,848
I'm just saying that
you spelled it with a "J."
866
00:48:14,979 --> 00:48:17,198
[clears throat] Fine.
You...
867
00:48:17,329 --> 00:48:19,026
Great. Your luck prevails.
868
00:48:20,158 --> 00:48:21,333
Congratulations.
869
00:48:22,508 --> 00:48:24,902
Okay. I get it.
870
00:48:25,685 --> 00:48:26,991
Get what?
What's there to get?
871
00:48:27,121 --> 00:48:29,471
You're just angry because
you're some genius
872
00:48:29,602 --> 00:48:32,126
with an enormous IQ,
and I'm just a cheerleader...
873
00:48:33,649 --> 00:48:34,563
Whatever.
874
00:48:34,694 --> 00:48:37,175
...who wins every game.
875
00:48:37,305 --> 00:48:39,003
As if I take these games
876
00:48:39,133 --> 00:48:41,570
as anything more than
a minor amusement.
877
00:48:41,701 --> 00:48:44,356
Arthur, I think that
you and I both know
878
00:48:44,486 --> 00:48:47,315
that we've been contemplating
a lot more than Scrabble.
879
00:48:47,446 --> 00:48:49,535
Uh, I don't...
880
00:48:52,146 --> 00:48:53,495
I really... I don't...
[laughs nervously]
881
00:48:53,626 --> 00:48:55,280
I don't know what
you're talking about.
882
00:48:55,410 --> 00:48:56,237
[scoffs]
883
00:49:01,329 --> 00:49:02,374
Idiot.
884
00:49:03,723 --> 00:49:04,942
[all cheering]
885
00:49:10,556 --> 00:49:11,992
He's gonna call.
886
00:49:13,385 --> 00:49:14,647
Any minute now.
887
00:49:15,561 --> 00:49:17,084
Let's just say...
888
00:49:17,215 --> 00:49:19,347
I'm an equal
opportunity employer.
889
00:49:22,220 --> 00:49:23,395
What do you mean?
890
00:49:24,309 --> 00:49:25,353
Women?
891
00:49:27,312 --> 00:49:28,313
Occasionally.
892
00:49:29,227 --> 00:49:30,315
For spice.
893
00:49:32,186 --> 00:49:33,666
[Arthur] I had
this other dream...
894
00:49:33,796 --> 00:49:35,233
We're running
towards each other
895
00:49:35,363 --> 00:49:37,104
on this white sandy beach
896
00:49:37,235 --> 00:49:39,454
and the kiss lasts
for hours, man.
897
00:49:39,585 --> 00:49:41,282
Then we break away
and I open my eyes
898
00:49:41,413 --> 00:49:43,981
and she's Gidget
and I'm Stephen Hawking.
899
00:49:44,807 --> 00:49:46,635
It'll never work, Sheldon.
900
00:49:46,766 --> 00:49:48,420
She's a...
a cheerleader.
901
00:49:48,550 --> 00:49:50,248
The girl is a leader
of cheers.
902
00:49:50,378 --> 00:49:52,685
No, it'll totally
work, man.
903
00:49:52,815 --> 00:49:54,556
Just shut up
and kiss her!
904
00:49:54,687 --> 00:49:56,297
You want Goldfish?
905
00:49:56,428 --> 00:49:57,690
Get away from me.
906
00:49:57,820 --> 00:50:00,214
But have any of you
ever had
907
00:50:00,345 --> 00:50:03,739
two women on a tractor?
908
00:50:03,870 --> 00:50:06,133
[Arthur] Tell me why again.
909
00:50:06,264 --> 00:50:09,310
I don't think that
I can compartmentalize.
910
00:50:09,441 --> 00:50:11,225
-[sighs]
-What does that mean?
911
00:50:11,356 --> 00:50:14,054
-I have to break up with Rudy.
-Hmm.
912
00:50:14,620 --> 00:50:16,056
I think I love Carl.
913
00:50:18,232 --> 00:50:19,233
Oh.
914
00:50:19,364 --> 00:50:21,061
We are so great together.
915
00:50:22,802 --> 00:50:24,325
What do men want?
[sighs]
916
00:50:24,456 --> 00:50:26,414
My girlfriend, Ashley,
she's right over there
917
00:50:26,545 --> 00:50:27,981
-at the poker table.
-Mmm.
918
00:50:28,112 --> 00:50:30,201
She is really into threeways.
919
00:50:30,897 --> 00:50:32,420
We could use a back bedroom.
920
00:50:34,422 --> 00:50:35,380
Uh...
921
00:50:37,643 --> 00:50:39,514
I... [stutters]
922
00:50:39,645 --> 00:50:42,039
I have no idea what Mona
would do right now.
923
00:50:53,659 --> 00:50:55,661
[Sheila] You did what?
924
00:50:55,791 --> 00:50:57,706
You heard me,
I quit my job.
925
00:50:57,837 --> 00:51:00,361
Why do you make me
repeat myself
926
00:51:00,492 --> 00:51:03,277
over and over
when you heard me
the first time?
927
00:51:03,408 --> 00:51:05,671
But, that's crazy.
928
00:51:05,801 --> 00:51:09,240
I mean, you and Morty
have been partners
for 25 years.
929
00:51:09,370 --> 00:51:11,024
You just go in there right now
and call him.
930
00:51:11,155 --> 00:51:12,634
I'm sure he'll take you back.
931
00:51:12,765 --> 00:51:14,810
Sheila, I have to
talk with you.
932
00:51:14,941 --> 00:51:16,464
Now is as good
a time as any.
933
00:51:16,595 --> 00:51:19,206
What makes you think
now is a good time?
934
00:51:19,337 --> 00:51:21,208
The Harpers have influenza.
935
00:51:21,339 --> 00:51:23,297
Half the guests
are lactose-intolerant.
936
00:51:23,428 --> 00:51:24,733
And on top
of everything else,
937
00:51:24,864 --> 00:51:26,822
I've got company coming
for dinner tomorrow night.
938
00:51:26,953 --> 00:51:28,389
Those freaking recipes
aren't working.
939
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:30,609
And all I've got
is a pot full of soggy kishkas.
940
00:51:38,660 --> 00:51:40,358
So what's going on
with you and Dad?
941
00:51:40,488 --> 00:51:42,186
[sighs]
942
00:51:42,316 --> 00:51:43,709
You know,
when you were 11 years old,
943
00:51:43,839 --> 00:51:46,407
you used to fall asleep
at the piano.
944
00:51:46,538 --> 00:51:49,497
The only person
I've ever known that
had that much passion
945
00:51:49,628 --> 00:51:52,109
was Uncle Max Raymond.
946
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:55,112
He started in burlesque
at the Minsky Theatre
in Newark, New Jersey.
947
00:51:55,242 --> 00:51:57,331
Went right all the way
to Las Vegas.
948
00:51:57,462 --> 00:52:00,421
Almost went on tour with
Sammy Davis Jr., but he...
949
00:52:00,552 --> 00:52:03,859
He drank too much,
and he ended up an organ
grinder on 43rd Street,
950
00:52:03,990 --> 00:52:07,254
shot by a Jewish gangster.
True story.
951
00:52:07,385 --> 00:52:09,430
Why don't you just
write down all these stories
of yours somewhere.
952
00:52:09,561 --> 00:52:11,563
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
953
00:52:11,693 --> 00:52:12,868
Don't try to
change the subject.
954
00:52:12,999 --> 00:52:14,653
You know exactly
what I'm saying.
955
00:52:14,783 --> 00:52:16,742
You know what?
I'm not going to become
an organ grinder, okay?
956
00:52:16,872 --> 00:52:18,526
-It's not going to happen.
-Uh-huh.
957
00:52:18,657 --> 00:52:19,788
I'm just having
a little fun, that's all.
958
00:52:19,919 --> 00:52:21,138
Yeah, yeah.
959
00:52:21,268 --> 00:52:23,270
You do realize
you're dressed like a hooker.
960
00:52:24,402 --> 00:52:25,751
You know what?
961
00:52:25,881 --> 00:52:27,796
This isn't a hooker outfit,
this is a showgirl outfit.
962
00:52:27,927 --> 00:52:30,277
There's actually
quite a distinct difference.
963
00:52:30,408 --> 00:52:32,149
Uh-huh.
964
00:52:32,279 --> 00:52:33,889
[Claire] What do you mean
you want to meet my family?
965
00:52:34,020 --> 00:52:35,413
Just that,
I wanna meet 'em.
966
00:52:35,543 --> 00:52:39,156
-I want them to know me,
love me, embrace me.
-[laughs]
967
00:52:39,286 --> 00:52:42,463
But my mom is
experimenting with
this food you can't chew.
968
00:52:42,594 --> 00:52:45,727
My dad's obsessing
over some dead aunt, and...
969
00:52:45,858 --> 00:52:49,340
-[snorts]
-My sister's gonna
coordinate your socks
970
00:52:49,470 --> 00:52:52,473
to match her wedding palette.
Coral and bisque.
971
00:52:52,604 --> 00:52:55,607
-[chuckling]
-How's next Friday?
972
00:52:55,737 --> 00:52:58,479
What? What's so wrong?
I want 'em to know
973
00:52:58,610 --> 00:53:00,264
that I'm not one
of these guys
at your parties.
974
00:53:00,394 --> 00:53:02,483
Oh, come on.
Give me your best pickup line.
975
00:53:02,614 --> 00:53:04,833
-No. I'm not like that.
-[laughs]
976
00:53:04,964 --> 00:53:06,618
I mean, Nora,
the last girl that I dated,
977
00:53:06,748 --> 00:53:08,315
-we were like almost--
-I thought you said
her name was Marla.
978
00:53:09,708 --> 00:53:11,318
It is Marla.
979
00:53:11,449 --> 00:53:13,668
It is Marla.
Nora's the girl
I just hired.
980
00:53:15,279 --> 00:53:18,804
I'm sorry, I got, like,
a Swiss cheese brain
for, like, names and dates,
981
00:53:18,934 --> 00:53:20,414
and it's like...
[whooshes]
982
00:53:20,545 --> 00:53:22,938
Marla's the last girl
I dated, and...
983
00:53:23,069 --> 00:53:25,811
-Yeah, well,
we almost got married.
-Hmm.
984
00:53:25,941 --> 00:53:27,508
And my mom
is yelling at me,
985
00:53:27,639 --> 00:53:30,163
"She left you.
Now you'll never get married.
986
00:53:30,294 --> 00:53:31,773
You're gonna live
and die alone,
987
00:53:31,904 --> 00:53:33,427
like a lizard in the desert."
988
00:53:33,558 --> 00:53:36,300
-[chuckling]
-I was like, "Yeah."
989
00:53:36,430 --> 00:53:38,824
Good old Mom.
She was a cheerful woman.
990
00:53:38,954 --> 00:53:40,260
Was?
991
00:53:41,392 --> 00:53:42,523
Yeah.
992
00:53:42,654 --> 00:53:45,570
-Yeah, she died last year.
-Oh, I'm sorry.
993
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:47,354
Yeah.
994
00:53:47,485 --> 00:53:49,530
Well, she kinda
drove me nuts.
995
00:53:49,661 --> 00:53:52,316
[chuckles] No.
996
00:53:52,446 --> 00:53:54,883
I... I mean, I wish
she was still around.
997
00:53:55,014 --> 00:53:57,364
Then I'd bring you home
for dinner.
998
00:53:57,495 --> 00:53:59,801
I'd be like, "See, Ma,
I can do something right."
999
00:53:59,932 --> 00:54:01,542
[slow song playing]
1000
00:54:08,854 --> 00:54:10,334
Do you wanna
walk through the park?
1001
00:54:12,553 --> 00:54:13,337
Yeah.
1002
00:54:37,099 --> 00:54:38,884
[music distorts]
1003
00:54:39,014 --> 00:54:40,712
[Claire] And then
he touched my breasts.
1004
00:54:40,842 --> 00:54:42,670
I let another man
touch my breasts.
1005
00:54:42,801 --> 00:54:45,282
What... What was I thinking?
What am I doing?
1006
00:54:45,412 --> 00:54:47,458
You're moving on, Claire.
1007
00:54:47,588 --> 00:54:49,938
Oh, my God.
That is exactly
what I'm doing.
1008
00:54:50,069 --> 00:54:51,288
I'm moving on.
That's it.
1009
00:54:51,418 --> 00:54:52,941
I mean...
I mean, actually, I...
1010
00:54:53,072 --> 00:54:55,292
I hardly even think about
that kiss anymore.
1011
00:54:55,422 --> 00:54:57,424
That kiss that's
tattooed in my brain,
1012
00:54:57,555 --> 00:54:59,600
where Jeremy's shoving
his tongue down her throat.
1013
00:54:59,731 --> 00:55:02,037
Claire, I've got
a class to teach.
1014
00:55:02,168 --> 00:55:03,778
Bennett, please.
I'm really sorry.
1015
00:55:03,909 --> 00:55:05,040
I screwed up big time.
1016
00:55:05,171 --> 00:55:06,085
I... I should've walked
through that door.
1017
00:55:06,215 --> 00:55:07,652
I don't know
what I was thinking.
1018
00:55:07,782 --> 00:55:10,307
I was in shock.
[stammering]
That was really stupid.
1019
00:55:10,437 --> 00:55:12,961
I screwed up badly.
I'm really sorry. Please?
1020
00:55:15,399 --> 00:55:16,661
Bibi's in town.
1021
00:55:16,791 --> 00:55:18,402
She's on the committee
for the Liszt Competition,
1022
00:55:18,532 --> 00:55:19,881
and she asked about you.
1023
00:55:20,012 --> 00:55:22,884
[inhales] I'll know by 8:00
if I got you an audition.
1024
00:55:23,015 --> 00:55:26,018
-I'll let you know.
-Thank you. Thank you.
1025
00:55:26,148 --> 00:55:29,500
But, Claire,
this is the last rabbit
I'm pulling out of the hat.
1026
00:55:29,630 --> 00:55:31,328
So, please don't screw it up.
1027
00:55:34,940 --> 00:55:38,030
So, Claire tells us
you've been to Bosnia.
1028
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:40,032
Yes, I was in the Peace Corps.
1029
00:55:40,162 --> 00:55:41,816
And that you
never went to college,
1030
00:55:41,947 --> 00:55:44,471
you weep at operas,
and that you own
a chain of fish markets.
1031
00:55:44,602 --> 00:55:46,430
-Mmm-hmm.
-Oh, my God.
1032
00:55:51,870 --> 00:55:55,352
Uh, we also have a fine
selection of kosher meat.
1033
00:55:56,614 --> 00:55:58,877
Oh. You don't look Jewish.
1034
00:55:59,834 --> 00:56:01,358
You look Armenian.
1035
00:56:02,837 --> 00:56:03,751
[sighs wearily]
1036
00:56:09,148 --> 00:56:10,497
Thanks very much.
1037
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:14,109
And I ran into Claire,
and, uh,
1038
00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:16,982
she was standing there
with these, uh,
1039
00:56:17,112 --> 00:56:19,637
-cute penguin slippers.
-[both chuckle]
1040
00:56:19,767 --> 00:56:21,029
[telephone ringing]
1041
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:24,685
I don't know, I was just,
uh... charmed, I guess.
1042
00:56:26,034 --> 00:56:28,689
[Sheila]
Hello? Oh, hi.
1043
00:56:28,820 --> 00:56:29,908
Bernie, it's Morty.
1044
00:56:34,695 --> 00:56:35,566
[whispering] Bernie.
1045
00:56:44,226 --> 00:56:46,011
Uh, he, uh...
1046
00:56:46,141 --> 00:56:48,927
He... He, um...
Could he call you back?
1047
00:56:50,798 --> 00:56:51,930
He what?
1048
00:56:54,802 --> 00:56:56,848
He what?
1049
00:56:58,153 --> 00:57:00,547
It was one, maybe
two cigarettes at the most,
1050
00:57:00,678 --> 00:57:01,679
and then, poof.
1051
00:57:02,941 --> 00:57:04,421
I didn't say anything
1052
00:57:04,551 --> 00:57:07,772
because you had enough
on your head to worry about.
1053
00:57:07,902 --> 00:57:12,037
What, with the soggy kishkas,
and the coral flowers,
and the photographer,
1054
00:57:12,167 --> 00:57:14,082
and Claire, and the yoga.
1055
00:57:15,170 --> 00:57:16,737
Mostly, I forgot to mention it.
1056
00:57:18,739 --> 00:57:20,959
Are you actually going to
sit there and tell me
1057
00:57:21,089 --> 00:57:22,961
that you walked around
this house
1058
00:57:23,091 --> 00:57:25,050
simply forgetting to mention
1059
00:57:25,180 --> 00:57:28,532
that you burned down
your office?
1060
00:57:35,626 --> 00:57:36,931
Well...
1061
00:57:37,062 --> 00:57:39,020
if you're still interested
in Claire after tonight,
1062
00:57:39,151 --> 00:57:40,761
I do hope you come
to my engagement party.
1063
00:57:42,763 --> 00:57:44,678
[Claire] I am so dreading
this party.
1064
00:57:44,809 --> 00:57:47,202
My God, I swear
the whole family's gone nuts.
1065
00:57:47,333 --> 00:57:49,509
-I talked to Eric last night.
-Mmm-hmm.
1066
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:51,685
He subtly slips in
that a certain person
1067
00:57:51,816 --> 00:57:53,818
I haven't heard from
in three years is in town.
1068
00:57:54,558 --> 00:57:55,994
Bo?
1069
00:57:56,124 --> 00:57:58,605
-[chuckling]
-Oh, my God.
1070
00:57:58,736 --> 00:58:00,694
The phantom Bo
who broke your heart.
1071
00:58:00,825 --> 00:58:02,087
Do I get to meet him?
1072
00:58:02,217 --> 00:58:04,568
Nah. My time's just...
I ain't gonna call him.
1073
00:58:04,698 --> 00:58:08,136
Good, good. That is
a good decision. Really.
1074
00:58:08,267 --> 00:58:11,009
Actually, I already tried
every number I had,
and none of 'em worked.
1075
00:58:11,139 --> 00:58:12,837
Gotta wait for him
to call me.
1076
00:58:12,967 --> 00:58:14,491
He's gonna call you?
1077
00:58:14,621 --> 00:58:16,971
Are you just forgetting
how things ended
between you two?
1078
00:58:17,102 --> 00:58:19,191
We were headed for Paris,
and he canceled.
1079
00:58:19,321 --> 00:58:20,888
He cleared out
all his belongings
1080
00:58:21,019 --> 00:58:23,674
while you were out
shopping for his socks.
1081
00:58:23,804 --> 00:58:27,721
Orthoped, arch-support socks,
20 bucks a pop.
1082
00:58:27,852 --> 00:58:30,071
All right, so I'm an idiot.
What is the difference?
1083
00:58:30,202 --> 00:58:32,204
-I'm over the inconsiderate
son of a bitch, anyway.
-Yeah.
1084
00:58:32,334 --> 00:58:34,032
-Me, too.
-Yeah.
1085
00:58:34,162 --> 00:58:36,121
God damn it, we're healthy.
1086
00:58:36,251 --> 00:58:38,645
[both laugh exultantly]
1087
00:58:38,776 --> 00:58:40,517
[slow rock song playing]
1088
01:00:02,381 --> 01:00:03,730
[Claire] What are you
doing here?
1089
01:00:04,688 --> 01:00:06,341
And for my first number,
1090
01:00:06,472 --> 01:00:08,126
I would like to do
a little song that I wrote...
1091
01:00:09,344 --> 01:00:10,607
-Just for you.
-[chuckling]
1092
01:00:13,348 --> 01:00:16,134
♪ Oh, Claire
1093
01:00:16,264 --> 01:00:18,789
♪ You're so fair
1094
01:00:18,919 --> 01:00:22,227
♪ Spill your long hair down
On me from ♪
1095
01:00:22,357 --> 01:00:23,837
[Claire chuckling]
1096
01:00:23,968 --> 01:00:25,578
♪ Way up there
1097
01:00:25,709 --> 01:00:30,235
♪ Oh, Claire
1098
01:00:35,414 --> 01:00:38,025
You are so sweet.
1099
01:00:38,156 --> 01:00:40,985
This was so sweet of you.
I can't believe it.
1100
01:00:41,115 --> 01:00:42,726
-[chuckles]
-Yeah?
1101
01:00:44,075 --> 01:00:45,685
Wanna hear another song?
1102
01:00:45,816 --> 01:00:47,252
I practiced
"I Want to Hold Your Hand."
1103
01:00:49,428 --> 01:00:50,908
[soft rock music playing]
1104
01:01:08,839 --> 01:01:10,101
-[ukulele strums]
-[exhales]
1105
01:01:16,324 --> 01:01:18,370
You look perfect.
1106
01:01:18,500 --> 01:01:20,677
Listen, I wanted
to hang out with you.
1107
01:01:20,807 --> 01:01:23,201
I... In fact, I would
love to just look at you
1108
01:01:23,331 --> 01:01:24,768
for the rest of my life.
1109
01:01:26,552 --> 01:01:29,120
But I gotta go
meet a buddy across town.
1110
01:01:31,513 --> 01:01:32,950
But I'm gonna
call you tomorrow.
1111
01:01:33,254 --> 01:01:34,429
Okay.
1112
01:01:35,430 --> 01:01:36,693
Wow.
1113
01:01:41,001 --> 01:01:43,090
[Claire] I think
I'm falling in love with him.
1114
01:01:43,221 --> 01:01:44,439
[Sabrina crying]
That's wonderful.
1115
01:01:45,223 --> 01:01:46,964
What's wrong?
1116
01:01:47,094 --> 01:01:49,183
The son of a bitch.
It's the third time
he's stood me up.
1117
01:01:49,314 --> 01:01:50,968
-[doorbell buzzes]
-He's here.
1118
01:01:51,098 --> 01:01:52,709
Oh, if he brings me roses,
1119
01:01:52,839 --> 01:01:53,971
I'm going to shove 'em
down his throat.
1120
01:01:54,101 --> 01:01:56,016
-[phone line disconnects]
-[door slams]
1121
01:02:04,198 --> 01:02:05,330
You look perfect.
1122
01:02:22,173 --> 01:02:24,741
-Oh, she's gonna die.
-[sighs]
1123
01:02:24,871 --> 01:02:27,352
Well, here she is,
and doesn't she look nice.
1124
01:02:27,482 --> 01:02:29,833
Well, that's
because a cloud has lifted.
1125
01:02:29,963 --> 01:02:33,750
I am finally, completely,
100% free of Jeremy.
1126
01:02:34,533 --> 01:02:36,187
The world is new again.
1127
01:02:36,317 --> 01:02:38,189
[both whispering]
1128
01:02:40,060 --> 01:02:40,887
What?
1129
01:02:42,410 --> 01:02:43,716
What's goin' on?
1130
01:02:43,847 --> 01:02:45,762
-Nothing. Nothing.
-Well...
1131
01:02:47,894 --> 01:02:50,941
-Last night
I heard at Bruno's that--
-And guess what else?
1132
01:02:51,071 --> 01:02:53,944
I threw out the window,
Grandma Bitburg's cookbook.
1133
01:02:54,074 --> 01:02:56,294
And I'm going to reinvent
all the recipes on my own
1134
01:02:56,424 --> 01:02:58,905
with my own unique vision.
Isn't that great?
1135
01:02:59,036 --> 01:03:00,428
And look... Look what
we're doing here, Claire.
1136
01:03:00,559 --> 01:03:02,953
We're making
a tea-rose garland.
1137
01:03:03,083 --> 01:03:04,781
And later, we're gonna have
some hot chocolate,
1138
01:03:04,911 --> 01:03:06,173
and then we're gonna
decorate the whole house.
1139
01:03:06,304 --> 01:03:07,087
Won't that be fun?
1140
01:03:09,220 --> 01:03:10,221
Spill it.
1141
01:03:10,351 --> 01:03:12,005
It's just a rumor.
1142
01:03:12,136 --> 01:03:15,835
I overheard from Vanessa,
who heard from Alexa,
that... [inhales]
1143
01:03:15,966 --> 01:03:18,577
Jeremy and Sonia
are engaged.
1144
01:03:24,235 --> 01:03:25,062
Why'd I say anything?
1145
01:03:25,192 --> 01:03:27,107
Oh, no. No.
1146
01:03:27,238 --> 01:03:29,240
I'm fine.
I really am. I'm fine.
1147
01:03:29,370 --> 01:03:31,372
Like I said,
I'm... I'm over Jeremy.
1148
01:03:31,503 --> 01:03:32,896
[chuckles] I, uh...
1149
01:03:34,071 --> 01:03:36,813
Cloud has lifted,
and, uh... I'm free.
1150
01:03:40,033 --> 01:03:41,818
[operatic music playing]
1151
01:03:46,170 --> 01:03:47,562
Claire Goldstein.
1152
01:03:47,693 --> 01:03:49,521
What a sight.
You look gorgeous.
1153
01:03:49,651 --> 01:03:51,044
How's your family?
1154
01:03:51,175 --> 01:03:54,439
My family? They are,
uh, good. Yeah.
1155
01:03:54,569 --> 01:03:58,138
Um... my mother says hi.
1156
01:03:58,269 --> 01:04:00,837
Honey, I'm so sorry
to hear about Jeremy.
1157
01:04:03,274 --> 01:04:06,277
Oh... No. [chuckles]
1158
01:04:06,407 --> 01:04:10,977
Oh, don't dwell on it.
That's... That's okay. Yeah.
1159
01:04:11,108 --> 01:04:13,806
-So, Bibi, great to see you.
-Bennett.
1160
01:04:13,937 --> 01:04:16,548
Bibi, you look
fabulous, really.
1161
01:04:16,678 --> 01:04:18,245
I mean... I mean,
the thing is
1162
01:04:18,376 --> 01:04:20,421
that a cloud
has just lifted from me.
1163
01:04:20,552 --> 01:04:22,249
And I'm free.
1164
01:04:22,380 --> 01:04:24,512
I mean, I have
the gift of perspective,
so I understand
1165
01:04:24,643 --> 01:04:25,513
that these things
happen sometimes.
1166
01:04:25,644 --> 01:04:26,906
I mean, what can
you do about it?
1167
01:04:27,037 --> 01:04:28,603
I mean, one day you think
you're getting married,
1168
01:04:28,734 --> 01:04:30,562
and then he ends up
burping at you
1169
01:04:30,692 --> 01:04:33,217
while you're standing
in the doorway
covered with "Yes" signs.
1170
01:04:33,347 --> 01:04:35,654
And then, he won't even
call you unless
it's about his fucking shoe.
1171
01:04:35,784 --> 01:04:38,962
And then, ten weeks later,
he's getting married to
big-nose Bella Butski,
1172
01:04:39,092 --> 01:04:40,964
while my sister's
getting married to
this perfect little dentist,
1173
01:04:41,094 --> 01:04:43,053
and my father
burned down his office,
1174
01:04:43,183 --> 01:04:45,185
while my mother
won't even...
She's a freak!
1175
01:04:45,316 --> 01:04:47,971
My mother's a freak,
and, oh, my God! No!
1176
01:04:48,101 --> 01:04:50,495
No, I'm not over Jeremy!
1177
01:04:50,625 --> 01:04:52,105
[operatic music continues]
1178
01:04:57,415 --> 01:04:59,896
But enough about us.
How've you been?
1179
01:05:03,247 --> 01:05:05,553
-Hey, cricket.
-Give me that.
1180
01:05:06,990 --> 01:05:09,035
Oh, the audition
didn't go well?
1181
01:05:10,254 --> 01:05:12,909
I was escorted
out of the building.
1182
01:05:14,171 --> 01:05:15,868
What's going on?
What's all this?
1183
01:05:15,999 --> 01:05:17,304
It's a love-in.
1184
01:05:17,435 --> 01:05:20,568
It's orgy night, baby.
Third Thursday of the month.
1185
01:05:20,699 --> 01:05:22,135
[sensual music playing]
1186
01:05:24,659 --> 01:05:28,359
I'm not in an orgy mood.
My reputation is gone.
1187
01:05:28,489 --> 01:05:31,057
I've burned
every professional bridge.
1188
01:05:31,188 --> 01:05:33,103
The jig is up.
Bennett's going to kill me.
1189
01:05:33,233 --> 01:05:35,932
[inhales] Why don't you
take your shirt off, baby?
1190
01:05:36,062 --> 01:05:38,064
You think he's really
gonna marry her?
1191
01:05:38,195 --> 01:05:40,066
Come on.
Take off your shirt, babe.
1192
01:05:40,197 --> 01:05:42,460
Because if he is,
he couldn't possibly have
ever really loved me.
1193
01:05:42,590 --> 01:05:44,375
He couldn't have,
if he's gonna marry
another girl so fast.
1194
01:05:44,505 --> 01:05:46,594
Why don't you
take your shirt off, baby?
1195
01:05:48,205 --> 01:05:51,425
You want my shirt?
You really want my shirt?
1196
01:05:51,556 --> 01:05:54,559
-Okay, you know what?
You can have my shirt.
-All right.
1197
01:05:59,433 --> 01:06:01,609
I don't think
she's in the mood
for you right now.
1198
01:06:03,350 --> 01:06:04,961
[Bennett] Jesus, Claire.
1199
01:06:06,788 --> 01:06:10,227
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I'm so, so sorry.
1200
01:06:10,357 --> 01:06:12,359
-I'm so sorry about--
-Don't.
1201
01:06:12,490 --> 01:06:15,449
Just save it
for somebody else, okay?
1202
01:06:15,580 --> 01:06:17,669
'Cause I just
need to congratulate you
1203
01:06:17,799 --> 01:06:20,585
'cause you had us
all fooled.
1204
01:06:20,715 --> 01:06:22,195
I really thought
you knew what you wanted.
1205
01:06:22,326 --> 01:06:24,154
I thought you'd
do anything.
1206
01:06:24,284 --> 01:06:26,330
Well, anything. I guess
I was right about that.
1207
01:06:26,460 --> 01:06:28,723
She mentioned Jeremy,
and I... I was not prepared--
1208
01:06:28,854 --> 01:06:31,291
To hell with Jeremy.
I don't care about Jeremy.
1209
01:06:32,684 --> 01:06:34,555
How long are you gonna
hide behind Jeremy?
1210
01:06:34,686 --> 01:06:36,383
It's not about Jeremy.
1211
01:06:36,514 --> 01:06:38,081
I would've done
anything for you, Claire.
1212
01:06:39,082 --> 01:06:40,474
I'm through with you, okay?
1213
01:06:41,388 --> 01:06:42,215
That's it.
1214
01:06:48,265 --> 01:06:50,006
Why don't you
take your pants off, baby?
1215
01:06:53,226 --> 01:06:55,185
[Barry] Oh, the house has
five walk-in closets.
1216
01:06:55,315 --> 01:06:58,144
-Yeah. Four for Jenine,
one for me.
-No, stop.
1217
01:06:58,275 --> 01:06:59,798
-Excuse us for one second.
-[chuckles]
1218
01:06:59,928 --> 01:07:02,453
Honey, I want to...
I want to talk to you
about something.
1219
01:07:02,583 --> 01:07:05,282
-Now, let's say we go with
the peach tablecloths, right?
-Mmm-hmm.
1220
01:07:05,412 --> 01:07:07,240
-We add the soft heather
as an accent...
-Yeah.
1221
01:07:07,371 --> 01:07:10,330
The multi-colored hydrangea
just might work.
1222
01:07:10,461 --> 01:07:12,680
-Oh, I hadn't thought of that.
-See?
1223
01:07:12,811 --> 01:07:15,770
Oh. Oh, it is
all going so well.
1224
01:07:15,901 --> 01:07:17,511
-They're eating everything.
-[giggles]
1225
01:07:18,686 --> 01:07:21,167
-Connie, honey.
-Claire.
1226
01:07:21,298 --> 01:07:23,126
Oh. Oh, whatever.
1227
01:07:23,256 --> 01:07:27,086
Anyway,
now that I got
to really look at you...
1228
01:07:27,217 --> 01:07:30,437
You never really
did grow breasts, did you?
1229
01:07:30,568 --> 01:07:33,658
-[woman] Oh, Velva.
-What did I say that was wrong?
1230
01:07:33,788 --> 01:07:35,703
-It's the truth.
-Honey, really?
1231
01:07:35,834 --> 01:07:38,532
-It's a mushroom.
-[chuckles]
I don't think so, man.
1232
01:07:38,663 --> 01:07:40,273
No, trust me on this one.
1233
01:07:40,404 --> 01:07:41,796
Look. Hey, don't stress.
1234
01:07:41,927 --> 01:07:44,147
-I'll hook you up. I got--
-Look, don't...
1235
01:07:44,277 --> 01:07:47,193
Oh. Your coat smells
like a dead horse.
1236
01:07:47,324 --> 01:07:50,153
Go put it upstairs,
or burn it, or somethin'.
1237
01:07:50,283 --> 01:07:54,113
Honey, at my age,
I'll take the soup.
1238
01:07:54,244 --> 01:07:55,680
-[all laughing]
-[knocking at door]
1239
01:07:55,810 --> 01:07:57,073
I'll get it.
1240
01:07:57,203 --> 01:07:58,378
[accordion playing]
1241
01:08:10,956 --> 01:08:14,525
Oh, wow.
Somebody sure loves pink.
1242
01:08:14,655 --> 01:08:16,135
Coral.
1243
01:08:16,266 --> 01:08:17,528
They call it coral.
1244
01:08:25,840 --> 01:08:27,364
You really hurt her,
you know?
1245
01:08:27,494 --> 01:08:30,106
As if you've been anything
but a fog on her brain.
1246
01:08:30,236 --> 01:08:32,369
Oh, please.
I've been nothing
but a breath of fresh air
1247
01:08:32,499 --> 01:08:34,022
for that girl.
1248
01:08:34,153 --> 01:08:36,199
She was so locked up,
she needed a key
just to take a piss.
1249
01:08:36,329 --> 01:08:37,678
You know, you have no idea
what you're talking about.
1250
01:08:37,809 --> 01:08:39,506
You have no idea
of the chances she had.
1251
01:08:40,290 --> 01:08:41,595
[doorbell rings]
1252
01:08:44,250 --> 01:08:46,426
Hey. Oh, thank you.
1253
01:08:46,557 --> 01:08:49,647
-You look perfect.
-Aw. [chuckles]
1254
01:08:54,782 --> 01:08:58,308
-[chuckles nervously]
-I love this suit.
Wow, look at you.
1255
01:08:58,438 --> 01:09:00,266
-Oh, yeah. You, too.
-[chuckles]
1256
01:09:05,228 --> 01:09:06,142
[exhales]
1257
01:09:09,493 --> 01:09:10,537
Hi!
1258
01:09:11,756 --> 01:09:13,497
-Hi. Hello.
-I'm Velva.
1259
01:09:13,627 --> 01:09:16,891
You know, I buy salmon
in your store
every other Thursday.
1260
01:09:17,022 --> 01:09:19,633
-Oh, good, good.
-Sometimes it's a little dry.
1261
01:09:20,895 --> 01:09:22,549
Is there a bathroom upstairs?
1262
01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:24,464
-Yeah.
-I have to use the facilities.
1263
01:09:24,595 --> 01:09:25,683
I'll be right back.
1264
01:09:25,813 --> 01:09:27,467
-I'll see you later.
-Oh, yes, you will.
1265
01:09:27,598 --> 01:09:29,339
Oh, he's gorgeous.
1266
01:09:33,778 --> 01:09:35,823
-Okay, now don't drink
too much champagne.
-All right. All right.
1267
01:09:35,954 --> 01:09:37,564
-It makes you gassy.
-Go, go, go.
1268
01:09:39,740 --> 01:09:41,177
-Hey, Claire.
-Hey.
1269
01:09:53,363 --> 01:09:54,799
Claire, look.
1270
01:09:54,929 --> 01:09:56,496
I've known you
a really long time.
1271
01:09:56,627 --> 01:09:59,325
I know how rare
your talent is.
1272
01:09:59,456 --> 01:10:01,849
But I'd be the first one
to admit that it's not easy.
1273
01:10:01,980 --> 01:10:04,852
Not everyone's
cut out for it.
1274
01:10:04,983 --> 01:10:06,680
You're saying
I'm not cut out for it?
1275
01:10:06,811 --> 01:10:09,683
I've been busting my ass
for this since I was
seven years old.
1276
01:10:10,597 --> 01:10:11,424
Fine.
1277
01:10:12,599 --> 01:10:14,340
You know that.
1278
01:10:14,471 --> 01:10:18,214
What I know is it gets
really tiring hearing about
your potential.
1279
01:10:18,344 --> 01:10:20,694
Sooner or later,
you gotta deliver the goods.
1280
01:10:20,825 --> 01:10:24,176
But you'd rather be
off playing Sabrina's
drunken orgy girl
1281
01:10:24,307 --> 01:10:25,395
than starting a career.
1282
01:10:25,525 --> 01:10:27,310
Is that what
I'd rather be doing?
1283
01:10:27,440 --> 01:10:30,356
Maybe you should start
taking a little responsibility
for your own life
1284
01:10:30,487 --> 01:10:32,184
-and stop telling me
what's best for mine.
-Me?
1285
01:10:32,315 --> 01:10:34,230
-Yeah.
-[scoffs] Fine. Just fine.
1286
01:10:35,666 --> 01:10:37,581
You know, at least
I am trying.
1287
01:10:37,711 --> 01:10:39,974
At least I'm not stupid enough
to throw away my own dreams
1288
01:10:40,105 --> 01:10:41,411
and then hide behind
one of my students.
1289
01:10:42,934 --> 01:10:46,242
Oh, well, isn't that sweet.
Well, thank you very much.
1290
01:10:46,372 --> 01:10:48,809
But how the hell
could anyone
1291
01:10:48,940 --> 01:10:51,595
hide behind
a misguided 23-year-old
1292
01:10:51,725 --> 01:10:53,379
who can't even
get through an audition?
1293
01:10:56,382 --> 01:10:58,254
Well, I think
that calls for a cocktail.
1294
01:11:01,561 --> 01:11:03,737
Claire, would you just be
the best maid of honor
1295
01:11:03,868 --> 01:11:05,217
and model the dress
for Alexa?
1296
01:11:05,348 --> 01:11:06,827
It's just impossible
to describe
1297
01:11:06,958 --> 01:11:09,874
that rose-lined
v-scoop neck, you know,
without it on.
1298
01:11:12,703 --> 01:11:13,791
Don't forget the headpiece.
1299
01:11:13,921 --> 01:11:15,401
What's wrong with her?
1300
01:11:15,532 --> 01:11:16,707
Oh, what's not wrong with her?
1301
01:11:22,060 --> 01:11:24,410
I'm not cut out for it.
1302
01:11:24,541 --> 01:11:27,283
Oh, this is good.
I've become one of those
soap opera characters
1303
01:11:27,413 --> 01:11:28,675
that talks to themselves
all the time.
1304
01:11:29,110 --> 01:11:30,286
[sighs]
1305
01:11:34,507 --> 01:11:35,726
[accordion continues playing]
1306
01:11:49,435 --> 01:11:50,393
Oh!
1307
01:11:54,875 --> 01:11:55,702
[Barry chuckles]
1308
01:11:57,095 --> 01:11:59,663
-Uh, Bennett.
-Bo. [chuckles]
1309
01:12:00,577 --> 01:12:01,491
Hey.
1310
01:12:03,667 --> 01:12:06,452
"Congratulations,
Jenine and Barry."
1311
01:12:07,932 --> 01:12:10,326
-Oh, my God.
-I'm...
1312
01:12:12,197 --> 01:12:15,331
Uh, no. Alice, you don't
put the horseradish
1313
01:12:15,461 --> 01:12:17,376
directly on
the gefilte fish.
1314
01:12:17,507 --> 01:12:19,813
[scoffs] Yes, you do.
It's a garnish.
1315
01:12:19,944 --> 01:12:21,989
Yes, which means to,
uh, accompany,
1316
01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:26,559
to enhance the natural flavor
of the fish, not to smother.
1317
01:12:26,690 --> 01:12:29,345
You obviously know
very little about Jewish food.
1318
01:12:33,523 --> 01:12:34,480
So...
1319
01:12:35,873 --> 01:12:38,049
where's that husband
of yours?
1320
01:12:40,921 --> 01:12:42,532
-Excuse me.
-Mmm-hmm.
1321
01:12:45,970 --> 01:12:47,798
I was about to
put on my suit.
1322
01:12:47,928 --> 01:12:50,322
You're smoking?
1323
01:12:50,453 --> 01:12:52,672
You haven't smoked
for 20 years.
1324
01:12:52,803 --> 01:12:54,718
Honey, what are you doing?
1325
01:12:55,936 --> 01:12:57,068
What's going on with you?
1326
01:12:57,198 --> 01:12:59,549
We've got a house
full of people.
1327
01:12:59,679 --> 01:13:01,115
Christ! Claire?
1328
01:13:01,986 --> 01:13:02,943
Claire?
1329
01:13:03,683 --> 01:13:05,337
Jenine?
1330
01:13:05,468 --> 01:13:07,600
-You and Jenine?
-I don't... Shh.
1331
01:13:07,731 --> 01:13:09,559
Just keep your voice down.
1332
01:13:10,037 --> 01:13:11,735
Okay? Please. Please.
1333
01:13:13,954 --> 01:13:15,565
I was gonna call you.
1334
01:13:15,913 --> 01:13:17,567
Hang on. Just hang on.
1335
01:13:35,019 --> 01:13:36,977
-Did I say something wrong?
-Forget it.
1336
01:13:37,108 --> 01:13:39,153
No point in talkin' about
what's really up your craw.
1337
01:13:39,284 --> 01:13:41,155
You wanna know
what's really up my craw?
1338
01:13:42,809 --> 01:13:43,767
Yeah.
1339
01:13:44,594 --> 01:13:45,769
Yeah, lay it on me.
1340
01:13:46,857 --> 01:13:48,772
-Look at you.
-[chuckles]
1341
01:13:48,902 --> 01:13:50,774
You cut your hair.
1342
01:13:50,904 --> 01:13:52,906
You haven't used
the name Barry in years.
1343
01:13:53,037 --> 01:13:55,169
You know, "Bo..."
1344
01:13:55,300 --> 01:13:57,433
It's not very fitting
for a dental practice.
1345
01:13:59,870 --> 01:14:01,437
You know, uh...
1346
01:14:02,525 --> 01:14:03,743
you look good.
1347
01:14:03,874 --> 01:14:05,919
You know, uh,
I took up racquetball.
1348
01:14:09,575 --> 01:14:11,882
-I think I've been visited.
-Visited?
1349
01:14:12,012 --> 01:14:13,013
By whom?
1350
01:14:13,666 --> 01:14:14,798
The spirits.
1351
01:14:14,928 --> 01:14:18,105
Oh, good.
Oh, this is constructive.
1352
01:14:18,236 --> 01:14:19,585
Will you please
just get dressed
1353
01:14:19,716 --> 01:14:21,108
and put on some clothes
and come downstairs?
1354
01:14:21,239 --> 01:14:23,197
Oh, never mind.
I didn't want to
talk about it anyway.
1355
01:14:27,593 --> 01:14:30,466
[Sabrina]
She thinks that you own
this chain of fish markets.
1356
01:14:30,901 --> 01:14:32,468
[chuckles]
1357
01:14:32,598 --> 01:14:33,817
Technically,
my brother's the owner.
1358
01:14:34,948 --> 01:14:36,907
I'm a sales rep
for Nieman Marcus.
1359
01:14:39,170 --> 01:14:41,607
Oh, so you're
not even a lawyer.
1360
01:14:41,912 --> 01:14:43,217
Carl? Eddie?
1361
01:14:43,740 --> 01:14:44,654
No.
1362
01:14:48,005 --> 01:14:49,528
What the hell
is your name, anyway?
1363
01:14:50,094 --> 01:14:51,138
Ben.
1364
01:14:51,269 --> 01:14:52,618
[indistinct chatter]
1365
01:14:56,143 --> 01:14:58,972
It would be so much easier
to talk to you if you
just stop smiling at me.
1366
01:14:59,103 --> 01:15:00,931
What do you
want me to do, Arthur?
1367
01:15:01,061 --> 01:15:03,716
You want me to
walk around, sulking?
Would that make you happy?
1368
01:15:03,847 --> 01:15:06,153
Yes, at least
that would be honest.
1369
01:15:06,284 --> 01:15:09,026
Has it ever occurred to you
that not everyone is depressed?
1370
01:15:09,156 --> 01:15:12,595
I think that not everyone
admits that they're depressed.
1371
01:15:17,991 --> 01:15:19,515
[upbeat music playing]
1372
01:15:32,789 --> 01:15:33,659
Ow! Ow!
1373
01:15:34,878 --> 01:15:35,661
Ow.
1374
01:15:37,663 --> 01:15:40,971
But a couple of weeks ago,
I had a minor heart problem.
1375
01:15:41,101 --> 01:15:42,538
A heart problem?
1376
01:15:42,668 --> 01:15:44,714
I was at Morty's,
he took me to the doctor's,
1377
01:15:44,844 --> 01:15:46,759
but everything was okay,
so they sent me home.
1378
01:15:46,890 --> 01:15:50,633
Anyway, I was driving home,
and all of a sudden
1379
01:15:50,763 --> 01:15:52,635
-I couldn't breathe.
-Oh, God.
1380
01:15:52,765 --> 01:15:54,201
I had a little heart attack.
1381
01:15:54,332 --> 01:15:55,681
-Oh, my God...
-Let me finish.
1382
01:15:55,812 --> 01:15:58,075
-Is it a heart problem?
-Let me finish.
1383
01:15:58,205 --> 01:16:00,773
So, I was having
a problem breathing,
and I pulled the car over
1384
01:16:00,904 --> 01:16:02,601
and I laid down
in the back seat.
1385
01:16:02,732 --> 01:16:05,125
And that's when I started
to see this
1386
01:16:05,256 --> 01:16:08,128
white hot indigo light.
1387
01:16:08,259 --> 01:16:11,218
I saw this winding path,
1388
01:16:11,349 --> 01:16:16,702
and at the end,
the face of Aunt Wanda.
1389
01:16:16,833 --> 01:16:21,141
My God! That is exactly
what happened
to Shirley MacLaine.
1390
01:16:21,272 --> 01:16:24,710
I want you to know that
I thought about you a lot.
1391
01:16:24,841 --> 01:16:26,059
You should have called.
1392
01:16:28,279 --> 01:16:31,064
Bo, why are you doing this?
1393
01:16:32,109 --> 01:16:33,023
You know why.
1394
01:16:34,154 --> 01:16:35,808
People don't go
to gay dentists,
1395
01:16:35,939 --> 01:16:37,593
and mothers don't go
to gay weddings.
1396
01:16:43,990 --> 01:16:44,774
[door opens]
1397
01:16:48,995 --> 01:16:49,909
Oh...
1398
01:16:51,084 --> 01:16:53,739
Honey... hi. Hi.
1399
01:16:53,870 --> 01:16:55,088
Um...
1400
01:16:55,219 --> 01:16:57,917
Did you know that Bennett and I
know each other?
1401
01:16:59,353 --> 01:17:01,747
[all singing "Hava Nagila"]
1402
01:17:04,445 --> 01:17:07,361
You live in a sad world,
Arthur Capp.
1403
01:17:07,492 --> 01:17:11,627
And I suppose
your world is just
so much more fulfilling
1404
01:17:11,757 --> 01:17:15,674
with all that "ra-ra"
shake my boobs,
"Go, Raiders, go" bullshit?
1405
01:17:15,805 --> 01:17:18,808
I'll have you know
that as a Raiderette,
1406
01:17:18,938 --> 01:17:22,812
I choreograph, practice, and
prepare gymnastics routines
1407
01:17:22,942 --> 01:17:24,640
-from eight to ten
hours a day...
-[thud]
1408
01:17:26,554 --> 01:17:29,296
...which is more than I can say
for jerking off
in the storage room,
1409
01:17:29,427 --> 01:17:32,169
and then crying
myself to sleep
with Camus every night.
1410
01:17:32,299 --> 01:17:34,780
I don't read Camus...
1411
01:17:34,911 --> 01:17:35,825
every night.
1412
01:17:38,871 --> 01:17:39,916
[Alice moaning loudly]
1413
01:17:44,485 --> 01:17:45,704
-[cutlery clattering]
-[muffled] Arthur!
1414
01:17:52,842 --> 01:17:53,799
[singing continues]
1415
01:18:11,295 --> 01:18:13,689
I'm gonna tell her
what scum she's been dating.
1416
01:18:13,819 --> 01:18:16,648
Look. Okay, wait, I know
that I don't have the right
to ask you for anything,
1417
01:18:16,779 --> 01:18:17,910
but for Claire, okay?
1418
01:18:18,041 --> 01:18:20,304
I mean, you don't
want her to be...
1419
01:18:20,434 --> 01:18:22,698
humiliated in front of
her whole family.
1420
01:18:23,916 --> 01:18:25,701
Right?
1421
01:18:25,831 --> 01:18:28,181
Okay, honey, just think
about this. It's not
what it looks like, okay?
1422
01:18:28,312 --> 01:18:29,705
It's...
1423
01:18:29,835 --> 01:18:31,271
We've been friends
for a long time...
1424
01:18:31,402 --> 01:18:32,664
My party's ruined.
1425
01:18:32,795 --> 01:18:34,797
-You ruined my party.
-[stutters]
1426
01:18:34,927 --> 01:18:37,190
You saw the white light, right?
1427
01:18:37,321 --> 01:18:40,846
And then you left your body,
and you saw
some dead relatives?
1428
01:18:40,977 --> 01:18:42,239
Yeah. Yeah.
1429
01:18:42,369 --> 01:18:44,371
It's a classic
out-of-body experience.
1430
01:18:44,502 --> 01:18:47,070
I just wanted to tell you
that you're really special
to me, okay?
1431
01:18:47,200 --> 01:18:48,941
You're really...
1432
01:18:49,072 --> 01:18:50,421
You're so special to me.
1433
01:18:52,989 --> 01:18:54,207
Your hands
aren't that great.
1434
01:18:54,338 --> 01:18:55,469
-[thud]
-[groans]
1435
01:18:56,819 --> 01:18:58,168
What was that?
1436
01:18:58,298 --> 01:19:00,823
I will give you one day
with Claire to break it off,
1437
01:19:00,953 --> 01:19:03,129
and if you're not
out of our lives in two days,
1438
01:19:03,260 --> 01:19:05,218
first I will
tell her everything,
1439
01:19:05,349 --> 01:19:07,090
then I will bite off
what's left of your penis.
1440
01:19:07,220 --> 01:19:08,308
[groaning]
1441
01:19:08,439 --> 01:19:09,788
[coughing]
1442
01:19:21,539 --> 01:19:22,714
[gasps]
1443
01:19:22,845 --> 01:19:24,847
What happened to her?
1444
01:19:24,977 --> 01:19:27,545
She used to be
such a nice girl.
1445
01:19:29,199 --> 01:19:30,113
[exhales]
1446
01:19:47,043 --> 01:19:47,783
Thank you.
1447
01:19:52,222 --> 01:19:54,877
We Goldsteins certainly know
how to give a party, huh?
1448
01:19:56,661 --> 01:19:58,489
I was remembering this day,
1449
01:19:59,490 --> 01:20:01,753
you were seven years old.
1450
01:20:01,884 --> 01:20:03,494
It was your
second competition,
1451
01:20:03,624 --> 01:20:06,453
and Mom bought you
this very shiny,
1452
01:20:06,584 --> 01:20:08,891
-slippery pair of shoes.
-Oh, yeah.
1453
01:20:09,021 --> 01:20:12,982
The brand-new
black patent leather
with the big silver bows?
1454
01:20:13,112 --> 01:20:16,202
And as you walked
on the stage
toward the piano,
1455
01:20:16,333 --> 01:20:19,075
you fell splat
right on your back,
1456
01:20:19,205 --> 01:20:21,817
and the whole audience gasped.
1457
01:20:21,947 --> 01:20:24,428
The other kids giggled,
and Mom was about to
run on stage
1458
01:20:24,558 --> 01:20:26,125
and take you home,
and you...
1459
01:20:27,213 --> 01:20:28,258
very calmly
1460
01:20:29,215 --> 01:20:30,303
picked yourself up,
1461
01:20:31,522 --> 01:20:34,873
took a breath,
walked to the piano,
1462
01:20:35,004 --> 01:20:38,137
and played so beautifully.
1463
01:20:39,269 --> 01:20:40,487
Like an angel.
1464
01:20:40,618 --> 01:20:43,316
And you won first prize.
1465
01:20:43,447 --> 01:20:46,363
Later on, we were sitting
right here, sipping cocoa,
1466
01:20:46,493 --> 01:20:49,366
and we talked about
what it felt like to fall
splat on your back
1467
01:20:49,496 --> 01:20:51,847
in front of the whole audience.
And you know what you said?
1468
01:20:52,238 --> 01:20:54,327
You said, "Yes.
1469
01:20:56,025 --> 01:20:58,897
But something
really great happened
1470
01:20:59,028 --> 01:21:01,378
right after splat."
1471
01:21:06,470 --> 01:21:07,863
[Claire playing the piano]
1472
01:21:24,183 --> 01:21:25,968
[Bernie] Should we keep
the rest of the cake?
1473
01:21:26,098 --> 01:21:27,883
[Sheila] You know,
why don't you wrap it
and put it in the fridge?
1474
01:21:30,320 --> 01:21:31,234
The dishes.
1475
01:21:36,108 --> 01:21:38,197
Oh, nobody ate the mushrooms.
1476
01:21:39,242 --> 01:21:40,373
Oh, is it good?
1477
01:21:43,159 --> 01:21:44,377
Mmm.
1478
01:21:44,508 --> 01:21:46,902
It tastes a little strange.
Here, try some.
1479
01:22:00,567 --> 01:22:04,528
Do you realize we've been
staring at this tablecloth
for a very long time?
1480
01:22:05,311 --> 01:22:06,443
Yeah.
1481
01:22:07,705 --> 01:22:10,012
So, what are you saying?
1482
01:22:10,142 --> 01:22:13,145
I'm saying I never knew
this was so interesting.
1483
01:22:13,276 --> 01:22:14,625
[echoing]
1484
01:22:16,018 --> 01:22:17,933
My teeth are sweating.
1485
01:22:19,325 --> 01:22:21,371
I'm definitely seeing things.
1486
01:22:24,330 --> 01:22:25,418
Oh, my God.
1487
01:22:27,159 --> 01:22:28,247
Oh, my God!
1488
01:22:29,031 --> 01:22:30,032
Look at this.
1489
01:22:32,817 --> 01:22:36,429
Bernie, there's a giant
can opener in the ceiling.
1490
01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:37,953
I better get a bucket.
1491
01:22:38,083 --> 01:22:39,432
A bucket from Nantucket?
1492
01:22:40,216 --> 01:22:41,260
Nantucket...
1493
01:22:41,391 --> 01:22:42,435
[distorted echoing]
1494
01:22:42,566 --> 01:22:44,220
I love saying that word.
1495
01:22:47,092 --> 01:22:48,615
Manny.
1496
01:22:48,746 --> 01:22:51,227
-The hair.
-Sabrina's druggie friend.
1497
01:22:51,357 --> 01:22:53,142
We gotta get
our stomachs pumped.
1498
01:22:53,272 --> 01:22:55,100
-Please, let's go get
our stomachs pumped.
-No, no. No, Sheila...
1499
01:22:55,231 --> 01:22:57,624
Sheila, we never went to Egypt,
1500
01:22:57,755 --> 01:23:00,279
we never drank water
in Mexico,
1501
01:23:00,410 --> 01:23:03,543
we never burnt our bras,
we never protested Vietnam.
1502
01:23:03,674 --> 01:23:05,589
We never even went to see
The Rolling Stones
1503
01:23:05,719 --> 01:23:07,983
because we were afraid
to go into a bad neighborhood.
1504
01:23:08,505 --> 01:23:10,202
Oh, he...
1505
01:23:11,160 --> 01:23:12,683
he must have...
1506
01:23:12,813 --> 01:23:15,991
-The mushrooms.
-...he must have...
1507
01:23:17,427 --> 01:23:19,037
I say we enjoy it.
1508
01:23:51,461 --> 01:23:53,158
[snickers]
1509
01:23:53,289 --> 01:23:56,509
Outta all the gin joints
in the world,
you had to pick this one.
1510
01:24:00,122 --> 01:24:01,427
You going somewhere?
1511
01:24:01,558 --> 01:24:03,473
Well, how's this
for romantic?
1512
01:24:03,603 --> 01:24:06,084
A midnight plane
to Marseille.
1513
01:24:06,215 --> 01:24:07,129
-[thuds]
-[chuckles]
1514
01:24:10,828 --> 01:24:13,570
[both chuckle]
1515
01:24:13,700 --> 01:24:18,183
Oh, I can't believe I wasted
the last three years
kicking myself...
1516
01:24:18,314 --> 01:24:20,316
[sighs] wondering what
I did wrong with Bo.
1517
01:24:20,446 --> 01:24:21,534
[chuckles]
1518
01:24:21,665 --> 01:24:23,101
Marrying your sister...
1519
01:24:24,407 --> 01:24:25,669
is punishment enough,
don't you think?
1520
01:24:25,799 --> 01:24:27,105
[both laughing]
1521
01:24:29,629 --> 01:24:31,457
They're moving
and I'm moving with them,
1522
01:24:31,588 --> 01:24:33,546
-but where am I going?
-[Sheila laughing]
1523
01:24:33,677 --> 01:24:35,200
Sit down... [laughing]
1524
01:24:37,898 --> 01:24:39,378
I love this floor.
1525
01:24:39,509 --> 01:24:40,727
[Sheila talking incoherently]
1526
01:24:42,729 --> 01:24:44,166
[talking incoherently]
1527
01:24:48,518 --> 01:24:52,348
I feel just like
Fred Astaire,
so light and airy.
1528
01:24:52,478 --> 01:24:55,742
Oh, Bernie, look.
Look, there's a fish
in the carpet.
1529
01:24:55,873 --> 01:24:59,094
Oi. One fish,
two fish, red fish...
1530
01:24:59,224 --> 01:25:01,139
-Red fish? [laughing]
-Gefilte fish.
1531
01:25:09,408 --> 01:25:11,584
-There is one thing
I have to ask you.
-What?
1532
01:25:12,585 --> 01:25:13,804
Why did you lie?
1533
01:25:14,935 --> 01:25:17,329
About the Tchaikovsky
Competition.
1534
01:25:19,462 --> 01:25:22,682
Honey, you left the letter
on your mirror.
1535
01:25:23,727 --> 01:25:25,207
I read it at the party.
1536
01:25:26,686 --> 01:25:28,210
You got it!
1537
01:25:29,646 --> 01:25:30,386
Why'd you lie?
1538
01:25:30,516 --> 01:25:31,517
[Claire sighs]
1539
01:25:32,736 --> 01:25:34,129
[snickers] I don't know.
1540
01:25:35,956 --> 01:25:37,610
Jeremy didn't get in.
1541
01:25:39,308 --> 01:25:41,788
No one did. I guess I...
1542
01:25:43,529 --> 01:25:45,836
I guess I was afraid
that I couldn't pull it off.
1543
01:25:46,967 --> 01:25:49,361
You know, I once heard
someone say...
1544
01:25:51,450 --> 01:25:55,628
"When you dim your light
so someone else can shine,
1545
01:25:55,759 --> 01:25:58,327
the whole world
gets darker."
1546
01:26:05,595 --> 01:26:06,944
I'm gonna miss you.
1547
01:26:08,815 --> 01:26:10,252
[Bennett patting] Okay.
1548
01:26:13,994 --> 01:26:16,258
It's not too late.
1549
01:26:16,388 --> 01:26:18,434
The semi-finals
are this Friday.
1550
01:26:20,436 --> 01:26:21,959
[piano music]
1551
01:26:35,886 --> 01:26:37,496
[Bernie] Remember our wedding?
1552
01:26:37,627 --> 01:26:38,889
[Sheila] Your father
came up to me and he said,
1553
01:26:39,019 --> 01:26:41,370
"You look like a shiksa."
1554
01:26:41,500 --> 01:26:42,849
Because your hair
was so red.
1555
01:26:42,980 --> 01:26:45,243
I even remember
how you wore it.
1556
01:26:45,374 --> 01:26:47,767
You had it up,
and to the side.
1557
01:26:49,552 --> 01:26:50,640
Bernie...
1558
01:26:52,990 --> 01:26:54,209
tell me
what the doctor said.
1559
01:26:55,384 --> 01:26:57,255
Tell me the truth.
1560
01:26:57,386 --> 01:26:59,214
Did I tell you
I burnt the office down?
1561
01:26:59,997 --> 01:27:01,346
Bernie...
1562
01:27:02,304 --> 01:27:03,348
what did he say?
1563
01:27:06,046 --> 01:27:10,921
Oh, I've been so busy
worrying about the florist
and the caterers, and...
1564
01:27:11,051 --> 01:27:14,707
Claire,
and the soggy kishkas,
1565
01:27:14,838 --> 01:27:17,275
I didn't once notice
what was happening with you.
1566
01:27:20,452 --> 01:27:23,238
I couldn't live without you.
I really couldn't, Bernie.
1567
01:27:25,849 --> 01:27:29,244
Remember how Grandpa Alvie
left Grandma Bitburg
1568
01:27:29,374 --> 01:27:31,333
with three kids to raise
and a butcher shop to run?
1569
01:27:31,637 --> 01:27:33,073
Oh.
1570
01:27:33,204 --> 01:27:37,208
She said, "A woman's life
is like a plate of spaghetti.
1571
01:27:37,339 --> 01:27:40,994
A man,
he's just a meatball.
1572
01:27:41,125 --> 01:27:44,476
Does a meatball make
a spaghetti taste better?
1573
01:27:44,607 --> 01:27:45,564
Yeah.
1574
01:27:45,695 --> 01:27:47,305
Do you need the meatball?
1575
01:27:47,958 --> 01:27:49,394
No."
1576
01:27:49,525 --> 01:27:51,831
That is such a stupid story.
1577
01:27:51,962 --> 01:27:53,746
I'm nothing without you.
1578
01:27:53,877 --> 01:27:57,533
Sheila, you and I both know
1579
01:27:57,663 --> 01:28:00,318
you're a whole world
all by yourself.
1580
01:28:00,449 --> 01:28:01,885
Oh, I don't know.
1581
01:28:10,546 --> 01:28:12,722
It's a beautiful night.
1582
01:28:12,852 --> 01:28:14,898
Wanna look at the stars?
1583
01:28:15,028 --> 01:28:17,292
And then we could
maybe make love...
1584
01:28:18,467 --> 01:28:19,381
outside.
1585
01:28:19,859 --> 01:28:20,991
Like we used to.
1586
01:28:21,121 --> 01:28:22,471
Yes.
1587
01:28:22,906 --> 01:28:24,037
[whispers] Yes.
1588
01:28:28,781 --> 01:28:31,654
[Claire] The possibility
of failure in the world
of a classical musician
1589
01:28:31,784 --> 01:28:33,786
is so much higher
than in any other field.
1590
01:28:33,917 --> 01:28:36,659
And if I did fail,
I have no idea in the world
what I would do.
1591
01:28:36,789 --> 01:28:38,443
[Sabrina chuckles]
1592
01:28:38,574 --> 01:28:41,446
Claire, you've been
playing piano since
you were five years old.
1593
01:28:41,577 --> 01:28:43,448
Glued to the bench. I...
1594
01:28:43,579 --> 01:28:45,798
I remember, you would play
when things were good,
1595
01:28:45,929 --> 01:28:47,844
you'd play
when things were bad.
1596
01:28:47,974 --> 01:28:50,499
-I don't think not playing
is an option for you.
-[chuckles]
1597
01:28:50,629 --> 01:28:52,979
Yeah, but I've always had
everyone around me.
1598
01:28:53,110 --> 01:28:56,418
I don't know
if I could do it,
you know, all by myself.
1599
01:28:56,809 --> 01:28:58,550
Leap...
1600
01:28:58,681 --> 01:29:00,509
the net will follow.
1601
01:29:00,639 --> 01:29:02,511
[both chuckle]
1602
01:29:02,641 --> 01:29:03,903
Okay, Manny.
1603
01:29:04,730 --> 01:29:06,515
Have some more.
1604
01:29:06,645 --> 01:29:08,343
He's a freak.
Where did you find him?
1605
01:29:08,473 --> 01:29:09,953
He doesn't count
as a guy, does he?
1606
01:29:22,052 --> 01:29:22,966
Hey.
1607
01:29:23,096 --> 01:29:24,837
-Hey.
-Hello.
1608
01:29:24,968 --> 01:29:28,101
Wow, you look perfect.
1609
01:29:28,232 --> 01:29:30,060
How do you...
I love the way
your hair curls up
1610
01:29:30,190 --> 01:29:31,931
into your face like that.
1611
01:29:32,062 --> 01:29:34,412
Listen, there's something
I have to talk to you about.
1612
01:29:35,718 --> 01:29:36,545
Oh.
1613
01:29:38,242 --> 01:29:40,766
I think you're wonderful,
and I really like you a lot,
1614
01:29:40,897 --> 01:29:44,117
but I feel like
I really rushed into this.
1615
01:29:46,163 --> 01:29:51,124
It's just that there are
some things I have to do
by myself right now.
1616
01:29:51,255 --> 01:29:54,389
And so I can't let
our relationship
go any further.
1617
01:29:58,958 --> 01:29:59,742
You can't?
1618
01:29:59,872 --> 01:30:00,917
[sighs]
1619
01:30:05,051 --> 01:30:06,096
[sighs]
1620
01:30:06,792 --> 01:30:08,054
So, uh...
1621
01:30:10,579 --> 01:30:12,668
what are these things
you gotta do?
1622
01:30:18,064 --> 01:30:20,502
I have to find out
what's after splat.
1623
01:30:24,767 --> 01:30:25,550
[Jenine] Morning.
1624
01:30:26,159 --> 01:30:28,466
Hey.
1625
01:30:28,597 --> 01:30:31,730
-Everything all right?
-Sure. Why not?
1626
01:30:31,861 --> 01:30:35,517
We finally decided on
rose blush for the canopy.
1627
01:30:35,647 --> 01:30:37,910
And last night,
total epiphany.
1628
01:30:38,041 --> 01:30:39,346
Really?
1629
01:30:39,477 --> 01:30:43,481
Barry came round
to the idea
of ice sculptures.
1630
01:30:43,612 --> 01:30:46,658
[chuckles] Oh, I have to
call Juan Carlos.
1631
01:30:46,789 --> 01:30:50,053
He's the only one who
can create a flurry of doves
out of a block of ice.
1632
01:30:50,183 --> 01:30:51,184
[music playing faintly]
1633
01:30:53,665 --> 01:30:55,450
Do you hear that?
Is that music?
1634
01:30:56,538 --> 01:30:57,539
Where's that coming from?
1635
01:30:58,888 --> 01:31:00,063
[Ida] Oy!
1636
01:31:00,193 --> 01:31:01,891
-Grandma?
-[stammering] Your...
1637
01:31:02,587 --> 01:31:04,589
your mother...
[stammering]
1638
01:31:04,720 --> 01:31:05,503
Oy!
1639
01:31:05,634 --> 01:31:06,765
[music grows more distinct]
1640
01:31:09,725 --> 01:31:10,465
[Claire] What?
1641
01:31:11,553 --> 01:31:12,467
[chuckling] What?
1642
01:31:14,556 --> 01:31:15,600
What the...
1643
01:31:16,906 --> 01:31:18,473
Oh, my God.
1644
01:31:21,954 --> 01:31:23,129
[music continues playing]
1645
01:31:38,362 --> 01:31:39,624
Why don't you
just shoot me now?
1646
01:31:39,755 --> 01:31:41,496
My big day,
not two months away,
1647
01:31:41,626 --> 01:31:43,106
and our parents
have completely lost it.
1648
01:32:04,214 --> 01:32:05,520
[airplane engine roaring]
1649
01:32:06,172 --> 01:32:07,609
[traffic noise]
1650
01:32:35,114 --> 01:32:36,202
[piano music]
1651
01:32:37,116 --> 01:32:38,640
Claire Goldstein?
1652
01:32:42,034 --> 01:32:42,905
You're next.
1653
01:32:46,082 --> 01:32:47,213
This way.
1654
01:32:50,216 --> 01:32:51,740
-Good luck.
-Thanks.
1655
01:32:59,965 --> 01:33:00,923
[exhales]
1656
01:33:14,240 --> 01:33:15,894
[upbeat pop music playing]
1657
01:34:12,385 --> 01:34:14,126
[jaunty music playing]
1658
01:35:20,410 --> 01:35:21,759
[gentle piano music]
112823
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