Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,320
No. Give it here.
2
00:00:13,326 --> 00:00:14,326
I want that.
3
00:00:14,332 --> 00:00:15,332
You got...
4
00:00:16,970 --> 00:00:18,337
He almost got the ham!
5
00:00:18,403 --> 00:00:20,103
-That was a close one.
-Yeah, that was close.
6
00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:21,670
I don't want to watch this.
7
00:00:21,737 --> 00:00:22,445
Come on, Allan.
8
00:00:22,451 --> 00:00:24,170
It's actually a really informative
documentary.
9
00:00:27,437 --> 00:00:30,403
Where's the remote?
I want to watch the updates on the war.
10
00:00:30,470 --> 00:00:31,470
The remote's broken.
11
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:34,303
Alright, well,
can we turn it down at least?
12
00:00:34,570 --> 00:00:35,770
TV's broken too.
13
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,103
So we just have to watch this?
14
00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:39,170
Yep.
15
00:00:42,203 --> 00:00:43,270
I forgot about that alarm.
16
00:00:43,337 --> 00:00:45,437
Yeah, me too, we don't
really hear it that often, do we?
17
00:00:46,537 --> 00:00:47,537
Thanks for coming, guys,
18
00:00:47,603 --> 00:00:49,837
I just got
a really exciting job for y'all!
19
00:00:49,903 --> 00:00:51,270
- Cool.
- Awesome, man, yeah what is it?
20
00:00:51,337 --> 00:00:54,359
You two now have
the privilege of helping.
21
00:00:54,359 --> 00:00:55,837
THE ONE. THE ONLY...
22
00:00:56,503 --> 00:00:58,370
Jared Fogle!
23
00:00:58,937 --> 00:01:00,137
The Subway guy!
24
00:01:01,570 --> 00:01:02,803
As you guys know,
25
00:01:02,870 --> 00:01:05,637
we're not allowed to say no
to anyone who calls us,
26
00:01:05,970 --> 00:01:07,103
so, yeah.
27
00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:09,237
You're helping Jared Fogle
smile today!
28
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:11,403
Pretty cool, right?
29
00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:17,470
Lord, I'm just fuckin' with you.
30
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:19,374
That was too far, man,
31
00:01:19,374 --> 00:01:21,203
Jared Fogle is a
genuine fucking menace.
32
00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:22,837
Absolutely not. I did not like that.
33
00:01:22,903 --> 00:01:24,203
Yeah, he's a pedophile.
34
00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:27,137
Come on, guys! It was funny!
35
00:01:27,203 --> 00:01:28,903
The costume, come on!
36
00:01:28,970 --> 00:01:30,228
No, it wasn't. No,
it was not, dude.
37
00:01:30,229 --> 00:01:31,434
I did not find that funny.
38
00:01:31,437 --> 00:01:32,770
I have a line with that kind of stuff.
39
00:01:32,770 --> 00:01:34,537
I don't find that stuff funny, no.
40
00:01:34,937 --> 00:01:36,503
So do we have a real job?
41
00:01:36,570 --> 00:01:38,970
Yeah, I actually got a call
from a scientist.
42
00:01:39,037 --> 00:01:40,670
He sounded completely frantic,
43
00:01:40,737 --> 00:01:43,270
and was saying something
about an egg dilemma.
44
00:01:44,903 --> 00:01:46,737
Please, I'm serious this time!
45
00:01:46,803 --> 00:01:47,870
Please believe me!
46
00:01:49,170 --> 00:01:50,670
Fuck off. Dude, that's cheap.
47
00:01:50,737 --> 00:01:52,670
- That's just low hanging fruit.
- That one got you.
48
00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:53,735
Yeah, the dog face, yeah,
49
00:01:53,742 --> 00:01:54,735
the dog got me. Good job.
50
00:01:54,737 --> 00:01:57,403
- You love it.
- Yeah, I do, I do, you know me.
51
00:01:58,470 --> 00:02:00,303
- There it's again.
- Let's go, Charlie.
52
00:02:03,203 --> 00:02:05,203
What kind of scientist
lives in a tunnel, dude?
53
00:02:05,270 --> 00:02:07,337
I think we're almost there,
I see a light ahead.
54
00:02:09,470 --> 00:02:10,537
Greetings!
55
00:02:10,603 --> 00:02:12,703
I am Professor Psychotic,
56
00:02:13,637 --> 00:02:15,737
and you are just in time for the show!
57
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,637
Yes, yes!
58
00:02:23,870 --> 00:02:25,337
- Oh My God!
- What the hell, dude?
59
00:02:25,403 --> 00:02:26,737
No need to be alarmed!
60
00:02:26,803 --> 00:02:28,503
Dude, what was that?
What was that thing?
61
00:02:28,570 --> 00:02:30,837
That was a failure is what it was!
62
00:02:30,903 --> 00:02:33,937
I injected my psychotic DNA
into a chicken egg
63
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,637
and let it marinate for fourteen moons,
64
00:02:36,703 --> 00:02:39,370
and it was supposed to create
a living homunculus,
65
00:02:39,437 --> 00:02:42,170
but instead it died,
just like all the others!
66
00:02:42,503 --> 00:02:43,970
So what do you need us for?
67
00:02:44,337 --> 00:02:46,270
The reason I called you two here
68
00:02:46,337 --> 00:02:49,437
is because I'm missing
what all mad scientists have...
69
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,670
Assistance!
70
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,472
With your help, together,
71
00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:55,203
we can finally succeed
in my lifelong mission
72
00:02:55,270 --> 00:02:56,903
of creating life!
73
00:02:56,970 --> 00:02:59,570
Then I will finally
take over the world!
74
00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:06,770
Yo...
75
00:03:07,637 --> 00:03:08,703
Yo. What's up?
76
00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:10,203
What's up, man?
77
00:03:10,203 --> 00:03:12,737
Vanessa's over.
We're trying to watch TV.
78
00:03:14,303 --> 00:03:16,070
You're being incredibly loud.
79
00:03:18,270 --> 00:03:19,703
You're just... like my volume or...?
80
00:03:19,770 --> 00:03:21,737
Yeah, volume,
that's what loud means doesn't it?
81
00:03:21,803 --> 00:03:23,470
Yeah, I have the door closed, I mean.
82
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:26,603
We're on the couch on the other side
of this paper thin wall,
83
00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:28,903
we're trying to watch
a nice romantic movie
84
00:03:29,337 --> 00:03:32,803
and all we're hearing
is injecting DNA into an egg?
85
00:03:33,537 --> 00:03:34,937
Yeah, well, that's what I do, yeah.
86
00:03:35,003 --> 00:03:37,470
Yeah, that's what you do,
you waste time.
87
00:03:37,537 --> 00:03:39,937
You do stupid shit all the time.
88
00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:41,770
You know,
this is what I care about, Doug.
89
00:03:41,837 --> 00:03:43,070
This is what you care about?
90
00:03:43,137 --> 00:03:44,803
Care about something better!
91
00:03:44,870 --> 00:03:47,337
Care about yourself maybe,
care about me.
92
00:03:47,403 --> 00:03:49,270
The people who are keeping you alive.
93
00:03:49,337 --> 00:03:52,003
I care about you.
This is like my job basically.
94
00:03:52,070 --> 00:03:53,263
You care about me?
That's so good.
95
00:03:53,263 --> 00:03:54,297
You know what I
think of your job?
96
00:03:54,303 --> 00:03:55,437
Get an actual job!
97
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,170
Get one that pays you.
98
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,137
You know?
Look, it's a hard economy out there.
99
00:03:59,203 --> 00:04:00,450
It's a hard economy?
100
00:04:00,451 --> 00:04:02,537
How about the
economy of my patience?
101
00:04:02,603 --> 00:04:04,103
It's running thin, buddy.
102
00:04:04,670 --> 00:04:06,670
Paper thin like these walls.
103
00:04:07,629 --> 00:04:09,603
What? Dude, you have
your problems too like...
104
00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:10,549
I've got my problems?
105
00:04:10,556 --> 00:04:12,170
Okay, Okay, get the fuck out!
106
00:04:12,470 --> 00:04:13,070
I--
107
00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:14,803
GET THE FUCK OUT!
108
00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:17,670
Go!
109
00:04:19,037 --> 00:04:20,037
Fuck.
110
00:04:20,337 --> 00:04:21,337
Fuck.
111
00:04:21,403 --> 00:04:24,003
Dude, what do I do?
I don't have a place to stay.
112
00:04:24,070 --> 00:04:25,070
Fuck.
113
00:04:25,370 --> 00:04:28,037
Uh, yeah.
can you just give us a second?
114
00:04:44,637 --> 00:04:47,210
I can understand you.
I took Spanish in school.
115
00:04:47,297 --> 00:04:48,370
Oh, Cool. I--
116
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:49,863
I guess you know our plan, then.
117
00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:51,137
Um, Yeah.
118
00:04:52,237 --> 00:04:54,537
Alright, Professor Psychotic,
this place is great.
119
00:04:54,603 --> 00:04:55,770
I love this place, all you gotta do
120
00:04:55,771 --> 00:04:57,270
is just watch me, it's very simple.
121
00:04:57,937 --> 00:04:58,657
Alright, you wanna grab,
122
00:04:58,658 --> 00:04:59,903
you wanna grab
a guy there, okay.
123
00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:01,337
You wanna see that part right there?
124
00:05:01,403 --> 00:05:03,337
you wanna twist, you wanna pull,
125
00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:04,204
you wanna grab that part,
126
00:05:04,205 --> 00:05:05,270
you wanna dip, you wanna dip,
127
00:05:05,337 --> 00:05:06,870
you wanna throw the other piece away.
128
00:05:06,937 --> 00:05:09,537
Dip it in some of that
and just, you know, enjoy it.
129
00:05:09,970 --> 00:05:10,970
It's good, you try.
130
00:05:11,303 --> 00:05:13,737
I still can't believe
my brother kicked me out...
131
00:05:13,803 --> 00:05:16,170
The craziest part is,
I'm 100 percent in the right.
132
00:05:16,237 --> 00:05:18,103
No, dude, your brother
kinda has a point.
133
00:05:18,170 --> 00:05:20,337
Okay, this mad scientist stuff,
it's ruining your life,
134
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,970
you just got kicked out
of your place, dude.
135
00:05:22,037 --> 00:05:24,537
Well, I wouldn't say
it's just the mad scientist stuff...
136
00:05:24,603 --> 00:05:26,037
It's definitely the mad scientist,
137
00:05:26,103 --> 00:05:28,137
it's definitely the mad
scientist stuff, 100 percent.
138
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,070
But then what am I gonna do all day?
139
00:05:30,337 --> 00:05:32,770
I mean, dude,
you keep bringing up creating life,
140
00:05:32,837 --> 00:05:34,637
have you ever like been with a woman?
141
00:05:34,703 --> 00:05:37,770
You know you can like create life
with a woman, right?
142
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,736
Like, fucking her?
143
00:05:40,770 --> 00:05:42,470
No, I couldn't do that.
144
00:05:42,537 --> 00:05:44,170
I have trouble speaking to women.
145
00:05:44,237 --> 00:05:45,337
Come on, man, it's not that hard,
146
00:05:45,403 --> 00:05:46,837
why don't you just try
to practice first?
147
00:05:46,903 --> 00:05:48,096
Look, what about
that girl right there,
148
00:05:48,096 --> 00:05:48,989
she's beautiful.
149
00:05:48,989 --> 00:05:50,229
Why don't you try talking to her?
150
00:05:51,516 --> 00:05:53,570
Uh, hello, I'm Professor Psychotic!
151
00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:57,170
I am making an egg
with my DNA in my evil laboratory!
152
00:06:00,503 --> 00:06:01,770
I really thought that would work.
153
00:06:01,837 --> 00:06:03,670
How? How could that ever work?
154
00:06:07,070 --> 00:06:09,103
Fellas, fellas, the thing up there!
155
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,370
Look, Mr. Doug, I know
your brother can be eccentric,
156
00:06:12,437 --> 00:06:14,770
but you really should give him
a chance to change his ways!
157
00:06:14,837 --> 00:06:16,803
He's the only brother you've got!
158
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:18,503
No!
159
00:06:18,937 --> 00:06:22,370
Decision's final.
I've given Daniel too many chances.
160
00:06:22,837 --> 00:06:25,770
I work 14 hours a day
to pay for our house
161
00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:28,837
and he's in his bedroom
doing that egg shit.
162
00:06:29,537 --> 00:06:30,603
I'm done.
163
00:06:31,037 --> 00:06:33,370
Well, maybe if you two
had a nice sit down over a cup of tea
164
00:06:33,437 --> 00:06:35,640
and a slice of cake,
you could work things out!
165
00:06:37,370 --> 00:06:40,137
I oughta knock your block off,
you little freak.
166
00:06:40,203 --> 00:06:41,203
What?
167
00:06:41,830 --> 00:06:42,830
Sorry.
168
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:45,903
It's just that things really
haven't been the same since...
169
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:46,970
the funeral.
170
00:06:47,303 --> 00:06:48,603
- Funeral?
- Yeah.
171
00:06:49,237 --> 00:06:50,337
Mother's funeral.
172
00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:54,037
Ever since then,
Daniel hasn't been the same.
173
00:06:54,303 --> 00:06:57,170
He blew her inheritance
on that scientist lab of his.
174
00:06:57,670 --> 00:06:58,970
$80,000.
175
00:07:00,037 --> 00:07:01,270
Right down the tubes.
176
00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:05,137
You know, I'm just happy
Mother's not here to see it.
177
00:07:05,203 --> 00:07:06,237
Check this out.
178
00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:10,770
My God. I'm sorry.
179
00:07:12,937 --> 00:07:14,503
Pretty fuckin' serious.
180
00:07:15,203 --> 00:07:18,137
Please, Mr. Doug, just give
your brother one more chance!
181
00:07:18,203 --> 00:07:21,570
Nope. Like I said, decision is final.
182
00:07:24,088 --> 00:07:25,437
Oh, oh, careful, careful!
183
00:07:27,070 --> 00:07:28,362
Matthew!
184
00:07:28,368 --> 00:07:29,770
Nooo!
185
00:07:29,837 --> 00:07:32,070
No, no, this can't be happening!
186
00:07:32,137 --> 00:07:34,170
My brother! Nooo!
187
00:07:34,237 --> 00:07:37,270
And yeah, we was having
a little bit of brotherly drama,
188
00:07:37,337 --> 00:07:39,770
but I see how little that matters now!
189
00:07:39,837 --> 00:07:42,470
And I never told him
how much I damn love him!
190
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:44,803
I freakin' love you, man.
191
00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:48,497
Oh my God! Nooo!
192
00:07:48,930 --> 00:07:51,003
Okay. I'll go see him.
193
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,477
Yeah, I think that's a good idea,
194
00:07:52,484 --> 00:07:53,010
Yeah.
195
00:07:53,010 --> 00:07:53,931
honestly.
196
00:07:55,644 --> 00:07:56,837
Oh, nice to see you. Come in.
197
00:07:56,903 --> 00:07:58,324
Your brother's in the living room.
198
00:07:59,470 --> 00:08:01,970
- Doug, good to see you.
- Looking good, Daniel.
199
00:08:05,137 --> 00:08:07,270
Alright, Doug, why don't you start?
200
00:08:07,337 --> 00:08:08,337
Okay.
201
00:08:15,337 --> 00:08:16,337
Daniel
202
00:08:16,403 --> 00:08:19,603
I'm sorry I kicked you out
and exploded on you.
203
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:24,170
You're my little baby brother
and I worry sick about you.
204
00:08:24,703 --> 00:08:26,465
Your behavior has been affecting
205
00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:28,712
everyone around you,
including me.
206
00:08:29,803 --> 00:08:31,403
I just wish the best for you.
207
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,637
That was very nice, Doug.
208
00:08:34,303 --> 00:08:36,303
Daniel, do you have anything to say?
209
00:08:39,537 --> 00:08:41,203
Come on, man. Say something.
210
00:08:42,103 --> 00:08:45,303
Doug, I'm sorry for
all the stuff I did,
211
00:08:45,603 --> 00:08:47,370
but it's been hard for me too.
212
00:08:48,103 --> 00:08:49,203
You haven't been the same
213
00:08:49,270 --> 00:08:51,449
since you became addicted
to those painkillers.
214
00:08:51,937 --> 00:08:54,403
I take those pills
because of you, man.
215
00:08:54,837 --> 00:08:57,770
Yeah, well, maybe
if you weren't high 24-7,
216
00:08:57,837 --> 00:09:00,337
you could have been there
for Mother when she died!
217
00:09:04,583 --> 00:09:05,803
I'm gonna kick
218
00:09:05,810 --> 00:09:07,803
your fuckin' ass, man!
219
00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:09,437
Stand up. Get up.
220
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:13,237
Get off me, brother!
221
00:09:18,903 --> 00:09:20,270
- Stop!
- You stop!
222
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:34,237
Stop fighting!
223
00:09:35,470 --> 00:09:36,470
Wait.
224
00:09:36,537 --> 00:09:37,949
Hello, huh? Hello, daddies?
225
00:09:37,950 --> 00:09:38,970
Hello, daddies? Hello?
226
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,303
Don't you see? Look what you did!
227
00:09:41,937 --> 00:09:43,070
You created life.
228
00:09:43,137 --> 00:09:45,037
Hello! What's up. Hello. What's up.
229
00:09:45,103 --> 00:09:48,103
Yes, I did it, I really did it...
230
00:09:48,703 --> 00:09:50,430
We need to put aside
231
00:09:50,431 --> 00:09:52,337
whatever differences we may have
232
00:09:53,270 --> 00:09:54,870
to raise this homunculus.
233
00:09:55,737 --> 00:09:56,737
Yeah.
234
00:09:56,803 --> 00:09:58,343
We need to father
this son better
235
00:09:58,343 --> 00:10:00,037
than our mother
ever mothered us.
236
00:10:00,870 --> 00:10:01,937
Absolutely, dude.
237
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,437
- I love you.
- I love you too.
238
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,870
I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry.
239
00:10:06,937 --> 00:10:07,970
I'm sorry, man.
240
00:10:08,037 --> 00:10:09,137
I love you.
241
00:10:09,203 --> 00:10:11,303
You did it. You're a fucking genius.
242
00:10:11,370 --> 00:10:12,870
You're a genius, look at you.
243
00:10:16,237 --> 00:10:18,070
Pim, the world we live in
stresses me out, dude.
244
00:10:18,137 --> 00:10:19,403
Really? Why?
245
00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:21,770
Just like never ending
constant chaos.
246
00:10:21,837 --> 00:10:24,146
No, it never let's up,
I hate it, it's not good.
247
00:10:24,186 --> 00:10:25,679
Oh, okay, I mean, I--
248
00:10:25,686 --> 00:10:27,070
you didn't like when the man
came out of the egg though?
249
00:10:27,137 --> 00:10:28,870
- That was kinda nice, wasn't it?
- No, that's what I'm talking about.
250
00:10:28,937 --> 00:10:30,026
- It's exactly what I'm saying.
- Oh, you didn't like
251
00:10:30,033 --> 00:10:31,319
that kind of... I'm sorry.
252
00:10:31,366 --> 00:10:32,737
What's that? You didn't do it,
its not your fault.
253
00:10:32,803 --> 00:10:33,716
Yeah, okay.
254
00:10:44,729 --> 00:10:47,437
I'm sorry I tried to take
that ham earlier.
255
00:10:47,503 --> 00:10:51,462
No, it's alright.
I'm sorry I didn't lend it to you.
256
00:10:51,702 --> 00:10:52,355
Oh.
257
00:10:52,362 --> 00:10:53,888
You can have it.
You can have a piece.
258
00:10:53,895 --> 00:10:56,561
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Get over here, brother.
259
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:57,561
I love you.
260
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,670
That changed my life....
261
00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:07,270
I'm not crying because of the movie.
262
00:11:07,337 --> 00:11:10,003
I'm crying cause I can't change
my face back to normal.
263
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,937
I don't know what to do.
18781
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