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[Rachel] My parents' love story

began on the seventh night of Hanukkah,

in 1986,

at a Jewish singles' mixer.

* Moving forwards... *

My mom was the DJ

and an absolute smoke-show.

That's my dad in the Clark Kent glasses.

Luckily, she had a thing

for guys with glasses and strong math skills.

* ...I saw the world *

* Crashing all around your face... *

I brought you some latkes!

What?

You look hungry!

Here!

No applesauce?

* ...I'll stop the world and melt with you *

[giggles]

* You've seen the difference... *

Dad spent the rest of the night

in the DJ booth, holding his own.

Legend has it

they stayed up all night, talking,

and walked across the Brooklyn Bridge,

and just as the sun was coming up,

they found themselves at Goldberg's Bakery,

sharing a jelly donut.

[laughs] The economist and the DJ?

Iconic!

And a lot to live up to, if you're their kid.

So much has changed since the night my parents met.

Thank God for Goldberg's--

unchanged, and more popular than ever.

Every year, on the seventh night of Hanukkah,

my parents throw a party to commemorate their meet-cute,

complete with Goldberg's famoussufganiyot.

That's where I come in.

See, I live in Brooklyn,

which makes it my job to bring jelly donuts to New Jersey,

and it's a responsibility that I take very seriously...

-[alarm rings] -[phone buzzes]

-...when I'm not oversleeping. -Hello?

Rachel? Honey?

Are you still asleep?

It's nearly 10 a.m.!

Oh, no. No!

I fell asleep while I was editing.

I must've slept through my alarm.

Well, then, it's a good thing

I called

to wish my special girl a happy seventh night

of Hanukkah.

Yes. Thank you, Mom.

Oh! And to remind you, for the party tonight,

that Goldberg's

is cash-only and they close at--

...Closes at 2:00. Yes, it is on my list.

Well, the order is under "Landau".

Two dozen strawberry,

-one lemon. Oh, and, honey-- -Yes.

...Don't forget to bring yourself.

Please don't start the latkes without us.

Would not dare! Mwah-mwah!

[***]

Happy Hanukkah.

[***]

Chag Sameach.

Looks like somebody is going to a Hanukkah party.

Wrapping paper's a dead giveaway.

Okay, yeah. Heading home to New Jersey.

-Oh, how nice! -Yeah, yeah.

Somebody's running late. Boyfriend? Girlfriend?

I'm hip to that!

Oh, yeah. Boyfriend.

He should be here any second.

It's a big step,

taking someone home for Hanukkah.

I can see why you'd be nervous.

I'm not nervous.

No, my family's gonna love Adam.

He's a professor at Columbia, so.

-Impressive! -Big school.

-Oh. -Yeah, well.

Does he own a watch?

[phone buzzes then rings]

Okay. And...

[dryly] Ha, ha, ha. So.

Uh... hi!

I'm at Goldberg's. Where are you?

Bad news. I'm not gonna make it.

What? Why?

I caught an airport cold in San Diego.

I, uh... I don't think you want anything

to do with this.

It's the seventh night. I need you there.

"Need me there"?

* Four calling birds Three French hens... *

You know, so you can be the frontman--

tackle the tough questions

while I sit in the corner and eat kugel.

-* ...In a pear tree * -Okay.

He's gotta be there.

No, honestly. Um...

It's just the last one at the house.

I was hoping to share it with you.

I get it, but I don't want

to pass along this virus like some Hanukkah superspreader.

-* ...Eighth day of Christmas * -Right. Right, yeah.

I mean, if you're sick.

Um...

Okay, yeah, just--

* Five shiny rings... *

-Okay, well, I've got to go. -* That rhymes with bling *

-I'll talk to you later. -Okay. Okay.

It's off.

Order for Landau, please?

Something came up?

My neighbor's nephew might be free.

Great.

Thank you.

* Hanukkah is my favorite time of year *

* Just because I'm Jewish *

* Don't mean I can't spread some holiday cheer *

* Light up that menorah *

* And serve me up Some more-a *

* That latke And watch it disappear *

[chuckles]

-Happy Hanukkah! -* Hanukkah *

* Is my favorite holiday *

Oh! That was close.

* I'll break out the dreidel game *

* And we can spin the day away-- *

[Rachel, slow distorted] No, no, no, no, no!

[whump]

Oh!

Oh, man! I am really sorry.

No! No, no!

-Ah! -It's okay!

I got it. Look, here.

[Rachel] No! No, no, no!

This one's still good.

It is covered in dirt.

No, it's just-- It's just a little--

It's caked in dirt!

It's a little trail spice, that's all.

-What is "trail spice"? -Yeah, trail spice--

you know, it's like when you're hiking and you--

you drop your apple, and then--

No. No, I don't know.

...You just pick it up and you dust 'em off--

-Don't do that. No. -Mm, mm. Mm.

Okay. Okay, well, I'm not feeding my mother dust, so.

-You know what? -No! Ah!

I'm so sorry.

There's a Donut Universe on the upper level.

[aghast] A "Donut Universe"?

I've got a train to catch. I'm so sorry.

Sir. No.

No. Uh...

Sir!

You dropped your...

[mutters] What is this here?

Guy!

Hello!

[Stan muttering]

Where is she...

Where is she?

[woman] Oh!

There she is!

My fancy publishing/editor baby!

Yeah. "Assistant publisher," Dad, but thank you.

Okay. Let me see.

Ahem. "I love you... a latke."

Hilarious, right?

-I have some notes. -Notes?

Auntie Rachel!

-We're making latkes. -Okay, that's amazing,

but you know what I like more than latkes?

My cute little...

nephew!

-Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom! -Aw!

Hi, honey.

Hi.

Hey, you guys started without me?

-Mm-hmm. -But...

I always drop the first latke in the pan,

and then you grate, a-and Dad burns himself,

-and that's how we always do it. -I'm sorry, kiddo.

The honor goes to the youngest,

and Noah is now old enough to help me with the fryer.

-Oh... -So...

you're gonna have to find another way to leave here

smelling like some oil and onions.

Yeah, what was the deal anyway?

Train delayed?

Oh, worse.

Some... jerk

bumped into me at the train station.

The sufganiyotwent everywhere.

-Completely destroyed. -No!

Yeah. I feel awful. It's terrible.

You know what? We're here together,

and that's what's important.

Except, um, where is this, uh... Adam?

Oh, uh, he is not coming.

He has an airport cold.

What's an airport cold?

It's when you're afraid to meet

your girlfriend's extended family.

Oh.

Again with the light?

I'll get my toolbox. It's probably just a loose wire.

I mean, do you know how many so-called professionals

that we have paid to fix that light,

only to have it break the next day?

I think it adds to its charm.

This house is perfect.

Oh, well, wait until you see the new condo.

It's got a pickleball court,

-and an indoor pool-- -But most importantly,

it's got a steamroom,

so your mom and I can have a shvitz.

-Dad. -Stan, I do not shvitz.

I glow.

[smooch] Hmm?

-You do glow. -I do.

She's right.

[***]

Shh!

Shut the door!

What are you doing in here?

I have ten minutes left in my podcast,

and so help me,

I'm gonna find out who killed the prom queen.

Mm. Okay.

What's all that?

Uh, it's an unwelcome Hanukkah gift

from the boss lady.

Yeah. She put five manuscripts on my desk

before she went to Vail.

-[gasp-chuckles] -I know. I don't know.

Somehow, I thought I'd be writing the novels,

not marking them in red ink.

Oh, speaking of marking in red ink--

where's the Professor?

[scoffs] Uh, he has a name.

Oh, oh. I know. Pfft. I got the email.

[pointedly] Ahem.

"Adam Singerman, 34--"

No! No!

"...Assistant biology professor at Columbia University--"

[horrified] No!

"...Research topics include pheromones--"

-Stop. -"...The chemicals

that regulate attraction in species."

She sent this to everybody? What is Mom thinking?

Why are there so many Minion GIFs?

Leave her alone.

And of course! You invited him home

for the seventh night of Hanukkah--

[scoffs]

...The night our parents met,

the night I proposed to Bex?

Okay, well, we're nowhere near that yet.

Uh-huh.

And he's not coming. He's sick.

Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that.

Are you? Are you sorry to hear that?

Mm. He just...

takes up a lot of space.

Yeah. That's part of why I wanted him here.

You know, he's so captivating.

Um, I wish I was more like that.

Are you kidding?

This is the room

where you had us all on the edge of our seats,

story after story.

I don't really recognize that person anymore.

No wonder you're having such a hard time

with them selling the house.

What do you mean?

-Uh... -[Joanna] Shoshana!

I'd better go see what Noah's gotten himself into.

Okay.

You got this.

You're nailing it. Look at you.

-[forced] Mm-hmm. -You are woman!

-Yeah, this feels really good. -Hear you roar!

Maybe shorter shoes next time.

Beanbags should be illegal!

-Yeah. -[Joanna yelling] Shoshana!

-Love you. -[grunts] Yeah. Love you.

[***]

Down. We want a central swoop.

Down. Perfect.

Perfect.

-Hi. -Hi.

Rach, um, the boxes from your room,

they're going home with you tomorrow,

because you need to start storing your own garbagio.

Great.

Oh, yikes!

Those dreidel lights have seen better days.

No!

No, they gotta be, what... 30 years old by now?

Well, that makes both of us, but we're spry.

Spry-ish. Ow.

[wincing] Yeah.

These beauties won't be making the transition

to our place next year, huh?

You're hosting Hanukkah next year?

Um...

uh, so, Mom and I talked,

and, pfft, I mean,

it just-- you know, it makes sense!

'Cause, you know, we have a lot more space,

and, um, their condo is kind of teeny-tiny, so...

[Joanna] Girls!

Why didn't anybody tell me?

-I-- We were going to. -Why didn't they tell me?

Girls! * I found it! *

Ha, ha!

The Hanukkah mix tape.

Noah, baby. Come here.

-Do you see this? -Ahem.

It's a... cassette,

and all the songs are recorded right here,

on this tape.

Hey, hey, hey...

Come on now!

Let's get this party started!

Okay.

And... Noah...

come here. Ready?

Want to press that one?

Great! You did it! Good job, buddy.

-['80s pop plays] -Excuse me.

Yes?

May I have this dance?

Of course.

[giggles]

[***]

* Okay, my angel delight *

* Close your eyes *

* Put on the light I want to look at you *

-* Yeah, yeah... * -[doorbell chimes]

* Baby, baby It's all too much... *

Uncle Harvey!

-If it isn't Rachel Landau! -Hi!

So where is this new boyfriend of yours?

Oh--

I hear he's the "Boss of Biology",

the "Pharaoh of Pheromones".

-Well, he, uh-- -Dad.

Dad, he's not coming, remember?

He didn't even read the group chat.

-He was driving. -The "group chat"?

-Wh-- about Adam? -Stan!

Let's get this party started!

[British accent] Tally-ho, everyone!

So sorry I'm late-- I saw the group chat,

so I stopped for doughnuts.

Spelled with a d-o-u-g-h, I should add--

King's English, from across the pond.

-Anyway-- -Right.

There's this adorable bakery

just around the corner from my friend's loft in Dumbo,

and I snapped up the last of their jellies,

so, crisis averted.

You're a... life-saver.

Oh, it's the least I could do

especially since Adam's a no-show.

I was so looking forward to having a chin-wag with him.

A what?

But you and I should absolutely talk shop.

Weren't you working for your friend, uh,

who runs a-a blog, or--

Well, it's a, like, a massive publishing house,

actually, and I'm the assistant editor.

At our lit agency,

we avoid familiarizing ourselves

with pub houses in the New World--

don't want the crudeness to rub off.

Right. 'Cause you moved to London three years ago?

Oh. Would you hang it up, won't you?

It's alpaca.

[gasps mockingly] Is it?

-Rachel, sweetheart. -Hi.

I have someone I want you to meet.

Grandma Rosie, I--

Hear me out! His name is Zach.

-"Zach". -And he's a painter,

and he is very creative.

[chuckles] He has the most beautiful hands.

He's like a young Caravaggio.

Yeah?

Okay, well, hey, I believe that all of that is true,

but I'm dating somebody.

Since when

is comparison-shopping against the law?

Grandma Rosie!

The young man

who is about to walk through that door...

could very well be your soul mate.

Soul mate? Okay.

If not...

six months of an adventure.

[giggles mischievously]

[darkly] You.

You?

I take it you've met before?

Yeah. He's the reason

we don't have Goldberg's sufganiyot.

You really should watch where you're going.

[stammers] It was a zoo down there!

I was busting my a-- my tuchus--

to get the train to Montclair.

Well...

you dropped your little... thing.

Wow! These are my Dungeons and Dragons dice.

[unimpressed] Oh. Cool.

They're limited-edition dodecahedron dice,

gifted to me by an OG level-20 arch-Druid.

He also gave me this vintage case.

Anyway, um... I'm going to go for a lap.

Thanks for the ride, Zach.

What?

He drove you?

Why did he drive you? Grandma?

Wow.

Donut Universe, huh?

They really upped their game.

-Mm-hmm. -Is that raspberry?

Yeah. They're for later, so.

Ahem.

A-Are you from-- -She didn't--

-No. You. -I'm sorry.

Okay, no. I was just-- how do you know my grandma?

Oh, I teach art at Cedar Hill Terrace.

Oh.

...When I'm not bumping into total strangers.

[Rachel chuckles weakly]

You're gonna hold that over me forever, aren't you?

I don't think there's gonna be a "forever" for us, so.

-[phone rings] -And, well...

-my boyfriend's-- -Oh.

...So, I gotta take this.

[ringing]

[sighing]

Hey, hey. Are you feeling better?

Adam?

Hello?

Adam, can you--

[dial tone buzzes]

Okay.

[indistinct chatter]

[hushed] Hey, check it out.

Cynthia's humble-bragging again.

You can tell by the way she flicks her nails.

Hey, hey. I gotta give her credit for that.

She is not afraid to show the world who she is.

All right.

Can I have everybody's attention, please?

Whoo!

Yeah, well, yeah, thank you for that.

[laughter]

Um, I just want to thank everybody for being here

to help Joanna and me celebrate our 36th anniversary

of the first night we met.

The night the DJ saved your life!

That's nice. Thank you very much for that, Harvey.

18 is a lucky number in Judaism.

It means "chai", or "life".

-I'm mansplaining. I-- -[laughter]

On this, our double chaianniversary...

[deep breath]

I cannot express

how lucky I am

to be married to my soul mate.

True love is so difficult to come by.

Yeah.

Shoshana...

we're so happy you found it with Bex.

-[smooch] -And who knows?

Maybe this is the year that Rachel finds her soul mate.

Dad, can we light the candles?

Yep, and that's my cue to wrap things up.

Okay, so, everybody, thank you for coming!

Let's now all gather around the candles

and do the thing that's most important.

-Yes! Thank you! -[overlapping agreement]

[all] V-tzivanu l'hadlik ner shel Hanukkah.

[***]

[Stan] What's that?

Look! Slime!

I love slime!

How do you compete with slime?

Happy Hanukkah.

Go on. Open it.

Really?

I've been waiting

for the right moment to give it to you.

Okay.

It's been in our family for generations.

Yeah.

Grandma, it's beautiful.

It's an antique...

like yours truly! [chuckles]

My Tanta Sophie used to say,

"It brings light into the lives of those who spin it."

She'd also say--

"Don't eat the day-old gefilte."

[Rachel laughs]

Oh, there's wisdom in both.

Well, I love it. Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Oh. [chuckles] Easy on the merchandise.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[***]

Looks great, sweetie.

Mm-hmm.

Hey. Can I sub in?

Oh, no. I'm on a roll. Oh, by the way--

I like that Zach.

He's good with kids, too.

-Dad, please. -You be quiet.

So, Cuz.

Where's Adam, really?

I'm not buying the "home sick" excuse.

Yeah, well, if I was you,

I'd worry a little bit less about my life

and a little bit more about your dreidel game.

Oh, I see. Trying to get inside my head, huh?

Not gonna work.

-Okay. -Oh, Zach.

Yes?

Big dreidel game. You want in?

Yeah, that sounds fun. Sure.

-Let's do it. -Hey. Psst. Hey.

-Mm-mm. Mm-mm. -What is happening?

Uh, you don't want to play the cousin game.

You're gonna lose your shirt.

-Oh. -Yep.

I'm a level-14 Wood Elf Ranger, so.

Of course you are.

I think I can handle a little game of dreidel.

Yeah? With your little... s-sword?

Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin!

Shin-shin-shin-shin-shin-shin!

Shin-shin-shin-shin-shin- shin-shin-shin-shin!

Ah!

[cackles] Pay up, Jasper Johns!

And I'm out.

Hey! Rachel!

We need another player.

Uh, yeah. I'm more of a bench-warmer.

-Afraid you're gonna lose? -Oh, Josh, leave her alone.

Yeah, Josh. She's had a hard enough night as it is,

with her boyfriend bailing on her

-at the last minute. -He didn't bail on me!

He's sick, so. He's sick.

You realize

there's no such thing as an "airport cold," right?

You got this, kid.

It's your moment to shine.

Destroy him!

All right.

[Josh] We're waiting.

[Rachel blows air]

Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin!

-[whooshing] -Shin-shin-shin-shin!

Shin-shin-shin-shin-shin-shin- shin-shin-shin-shin-shin-shin!

-Shin-shin-shin-- -Fire.

Shin-shin-shin-shin!

Yeah, you're on fire. We get it.

No, no, no! The curtains are on fire!

Oh!

-[yelping] -[panicking]

Oh!

[indistinct commotion]

Okay!

[siren wailing briefly]

[Joanna] Oh, thank you, boys.

Do you know what started it?

From what we can tell, there was a frayed cord

-on your twinkle lights. -Oh, the dreidel lights?

Yeah. It's a good thing nobody got hurt.

[Joanna] Thank you.

The closing on Tuesday...

We'll have to postpone.

Or you could reconsider.

I'll text the realtor.

[dejected sigh]

I'm kidding!

Let's get some sleep. Mm?

[smooch] One more night--

Don't say that.

...In your old room.

-[alarm rings] -[phone buzzes]

[groggily] Hello?

Rachel, honey. You're asleep?

Yeah. I'll be right downstairs.

What? Oh! [laughs] No.

No, no, no, no.

I was just calling to wish my special girl

a happy seventh night of Hanukkah.

And to remind you, for the party tonight,

that Goldberg's closes at 2:00 p.m. sharp.

I'm sorry. What day is it?

December 13th.

What are you doing still in bed?

It's nearly 10:00.

I'm sorry. I overslept. I am having the craziest dream.

I'm sorry.

Tonight is the seventh night of Hanukkah?

Yes.

The order is under "Landau".

Two dozen strawberry,

one lemon.

Chag Sameach!

Looks like somebody is going to a Hanukkah party.

Have we met before?

I feel like we've met.

Probably just my face.

I've been told I look like a young Barbra Streisand.

-[phone buzzes and rings] -Yeah, maybe.

Sorry, just have to pick up.

My boyfriend.

Anyways.

Hi. I am having the strangest day.

[Adam] You and me both! Ugh!

I ordered an oat milk cortado this morning,

and the barista made it with--

get this-- soy milk!

What is this, 1995?

'95, yeah. Uh, are you almost here?

Uh, you know, uh,

I'm afraid I've come down

with an airport cold.

It might even be the flu.

I think I'm gonna just head home.

* Four calling birds *

* Three French hens *

-Okay, um... -* Two turtle doves... *

You're not just saying that to, I don't know,

get out of coming home with me?

If anything,

I just don't want to give your family a virus,

like some Hanukkah superspreader.

Okay. I swear we've had this conversation before.

Sorry, man, no change.

Um, I'll call you later.

-Okay, b-- -Hi.

Order for Landau, please?

Oh...

can you throw some extra tape on those boxes, please?

Thank you.

* Hanukkah is my favorite time of year *

* Just because I'm Jewish *

* Don't mean I can't spread some holiday cheer *

* Light up that menorah *

* Serve me up some more-a *

* That latke and watch it disappear *

Excuse me, sir. I'm sorry. Uh, big fan.

Uh, just a quick question.

Do you know any other songs, or is it just this one?

Sorry, ma'am. No requests.

[huffs]

-* Spend the day away * -"Ma'am"?

You called me "ma'am"?

* We don't need no Christmas lights *

* We all got All them crazy nights *

* Yeah, Hanukkah is what--

[sound slowing down] * We cel-e-brate *

[whump]

Oh!

-I'm so sorry. -Oh, my gosh.

It's... It's you.

This one's still edible!

No, it's not.

Okay.

There's a...

Donut Universe--

-Yeah, I know. -...On the upper level.

I got a train to catch.

Okay. Hey.

Are you seriously going to leave me here alone again

with your...

[clatters] ...nerd box?

What is happening?

[***]

[indistinct conversation]

[woman] Oh!

Oh...

There she is!

My fancy publishing/editor baby.

[Rachel] Mm.

We were starting to think you missed your train!

But you know what?

It's okay, because...

"I love you a latke."

Dad, it's bad.

-No-- -It's so bad--

[Stan] Listen, I love you, Rach,

like Snoop Dogg loves "Dr. Dreidel".

[quiet groaning]

He is still workshopping that one.

No, I know. I-- What's wrong with me?

-I'm so sorry. -Yeah, that's all right.

Where's Adam?

Uh, he is not coming.

He's sick.

Something viral. Probably contagious.

You can go ahead and put that in group chat.

Okay. Uh, hey, Ma...?

Where do we keep the fire extinguisher?

Under the sink.

Oh, the sink!

Okay.

I read something somewhere

that you should probably keep the fire extinguisher

in the living room,

so this is gonna be under the bluecouch.

Okay? Just so we're all clear.

Wait, wait, wait!

Are-- Aren't you forgetting something?

The sufganiyot?

Right. Um, bad news.

Some jerk ran into me at the train station.

Jelly donuts completely destroyed.

No.

Probably should've led with that.

Shoshana, I know you're in here.

Can we talk?

I got 10 minutes left in my podcast.

Can it wait?

I could really use your help.

Okay, yeah, sure. Of course.

Okay. So this is gonna sound...

a little out there, but, um...

I am living the exact same day as yesterday--

like, same order of events.

Oh! You and me both.

I mean, ever since Noah was born,

my life has been a never-ending cycle

of snot noses and neediness.

Nope. It's not quite like that.

I am never gonna find out who killed the prom queen.

That.

You said that yesterday about the podcast.

-Hmm? -Exact same thing.

-[crashing] -Oh, uh...

-That! -[Joanna] Shoshana!

I'd better go find out what Noah--

It happened yesterday and you said that!

-Okay. -You said that exact same thing.

And then you walk away,

and you waddle with your heels, and you say something snarky--

-[Joanna] Shoshana! -Stop. No. Okay.

Argh!

Let's get this party started!

[***]

[tensely, under her breath] Okay, okay, okay.

You hanging in there?

I hear you're having a day.

[laughs] Yeah. Uh, I'm either psychic,

or I'm having the longest déjà vu ever.

Cynthia's about to walk through that door--

Madonna accent and all--

with a box from a bakery called "Tarte and Soul".

[British accent] Tally-ho, everybody!

You're like Nicolas Cage from Next.

You could have your own 1-900 number.

Bex, I am serious.

I'm living the same day over again.

Hi, lady! Get over here!

The two of us must just have a chin-wag!

[Rachel] This can't be happening.

* Do you know what time it is? *

[***]

* Dance to the music *

* Round and round and round we go *

* Dance to the music *

[***]

Rachel, honey...

...put down the donut.

Let me guess. There's someone you want me to meet?

What's with the attitude?

Sorry. Um, you were saying?

Well, uh, his name is Zach, and he's a painter,

and he is very creative.

He has the most beautiful hands.

He's like a young Caravaggio.

[door closes]

You?

-Hi. -Oh!

So you two have met before?

Mm-hmm. Funny story.

We bumped into each other at the train station.

Yeah, actually, she's being polite.

It's my fault.

I was rushing to catch the train,

and then we slammed into each other,

and powdered donuts flew everywhere.

Yep, and he ran off and forgot this.

-My dice protector. -Yeah.

Nice.

So you left her there, all alone?

Yeah. He had to come pick you up.

How did you know that?

Um...

the, uh... train.

Train to Montclair, you two arrive together?

Math.

Uh, so that's how we met.

It sounds like a nice meet-cute.

-[chuckles] -Grandma.

I'm seeing someone.

Oh, it's funny...

I, uh, just don't seem to see anyone.

[chuckles]

I'll, uh, just leave you two to get better acquainted.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

Oh.

Looks like Donut Universe really upped their game, huh?

Yeah. So, you play Dungeons and Dragons, right?

Uh, yeah...

So you like science-fiction?

I'd say fantasy's more my genre,

but I've been known to dabble.

-Okay. -Why?

[laughs] So what I'm about to say

is gonna sound insane--

Okay.

But, um, I'm fairly certain I'm stuck in a time loop,

and we've met before.

You know, you could just ask me if I'm single.

No, I'm not-- I'm not hitting on you.

It's like, um--

it's like I'm in Palm Springs.

On vacation?

No. The Tom Cruise movie?

Where I'm living and dying and repeating.

Maverick?

[sighing] My day is repeating.

Groundhog Day!

It's like Groundhog Day.

I'm in Groundhog Day.

-Okay. -Yeah!

I think I can work with this.

Okay.

One question-- am I supposed

to play Andie MacDowell or Bill Murray?

No, no. We are not role-playing.

This is real.

I keep organizing the donuts the same way every day,

and my grandma keeps trying to set us up.

Yeah, and in this time loop, do we ever, like...

Like...?

Oh! No. It's a Hanukkah party.

-No, of course. -At a Hanukkah party,

we light candles and eat lots of latkes.

I was going to say "light candles".

My cousin's trying to loop you into a game of dreidel.

Don't. You lose your dignity and your shirt.

I don't think I'm gonna lose my shirt.

No, you will.

And...

that's before the living room sets on fire.

What?

But it's not gonna to happen this time!

Mm-mm! I fixed the problem.

Look. The big, faulty wiring.

Okay? I fixed it.

Mark my words.

Tonight is gonna be smoke-free!

[siren wails]

[firefighter] Well, the good news is,

we were able to contain the fire to the kitchen.

Do you know what caused it?

One of the overhead fixtures had some faulty wiring.

Oh.

Thank you!

[***]

Stan? Uh...

Rachel?

Can I talk to you?

-Yeah. -Thank you.

Okay.

Okay, I can see now

that you weren't just hitting on me.

No. I'm not-- I'm not ever hitting on you.

There's no hitting on you.

This-- This is an actual time loop, right?

-Yes! Yes. -Yes. Right.

And how many times have we met?

I don't know. Like-- like, three?

-I keep losing track. -Okay.

I need you to help me.

I have an idea.

Give me your phone.

All right.

This is great. I'm gonna give you my number.

-Okay. -Okay?

If you wake up tomorrow morning in a time loop,

you just call me.

-Right. Um... -Yeah?

And you do realize,

when I wake up,

your number won't be in my phone?

I'm realizing that now, yeah.

Exchanging phone numbers, I see?

Oh, no. It's-- It's not like that.

Whatever you like, dear.

[Zach] Huh.

[sternly] I don't like it,

'cause that's not what's happening.

So what is happening? What is happening next, exactly?

-Get in the house! -What, what, what? Then what?

* Hanukkah is my favorite holiday *

* I'll break out the dreidel game *

* And we can spin the day away *

* We don't need no Christmas lights *

* If we got all them crazy nights *

* Yeah, Hanukkah is what we celeb-- *

Okay. Look, lady. I'm trying to work here.

Shh.

Look, that's your dance space!

This is my dance space.

Shh! Okay?

Oh! Oh, Zach!

Hey. Hey.

-[thud] -[whump]

[gasping]

* We got all them crazy nights, yeah *

No!

* Hanukkah is what we celebrate *

[fumes] Oh, this nerd is trying to kill me.

-Hi? Hi, hi, hi. -Hi.

Hi. Rachel.

-Okay. Hi. Do we-- -Hi.

I'm sorry. Do we know each other?

Yeah. Um, this is gonna sound strange, but...

I'm stuck in a time loop,

and you said you could help me get out.

Role-playing?

-No. -That's cool!

No, no, I "LARP"--

-No. -...So I get it--

No. What is it with you and role-playing?

I have proof.

Missing something?

-Yeah. -My Zayde gave me these.

Your Zayde is an "OG level-20 arch-druid"?

[scoffs] Learn something new every day.

How did you know that?

Oh, another thing.

You are wearing black boxer briefs,

purple waistband,

and a label that itches a little bit too much.

But you told me to tell you that as proof, right?

[unnerved] Uh-huh.

-We going? -Where--

-Come on! -I'm going.

* Hanukkah *

[***]

[Rachel] But the thing is,

for the fire, this time, it was caused by faulty wiring.

[Zach] That's intriguing.

But, you know,

here's the thing about those time-loop movies.

The main character always has a big change

they need to make in their lives.

Okay, but the thing is,

my life is actually going perfect,

and there's no notes, and I can't think of anything.

-Oh-- -Rachel!

-Oh, Grandma! -What a lovely surprise.

Hi, Grandma.

-Oh! -Mwah.

Oh. [chuckles]

Uh, I was gonna come and pick you up,

and then I ran into Zach at the train station.

Oh. What a happy coincidence.

Something like that.

Now, if I could only find my keys.

Oh, where could they be?

Oh.

You know, you two have so much in common.

Both creative types.

Oh, no. I'm in publishing. I'm an editor.

No. [chuckles]

She happens to be a fabulous writer.

I still have her writings from college.

Maybe, uh...

you'll see them tomorrow,

after the unveiling of the holiday art installation.

Hard candy?

No. Sorry-- "holiday art installation"?

Yeah.

It's at the luncheon tomorrow. We do it every year.

It's part of my art class for the residents.

He used to organize the event with his Zayde.

[candies rustling]

Maybe you'll show up this time.

So... do you still write?

Oh, uh, no. No. I'm more in the business

of making other people's dreams come true.

Wow. You're a little young to give up on your dreams.

I mean, Zach here?

He's shootin' for the stars.

[sighs] Ah, thank you, Rosie.

Well, he may be penniless, but, uh--

I'm not penniless.

Right. Right.

He's willing to take his shot.

Look, no one says

that you have to make the world revolve around you.

Just don't let anyone get in the way of your shining.

Okay.

Okay. Thank you.

[chuckling]

-There they are. -Found 'em!

[dryly] Great.

The Cutlass Supreme.

Great.

Stay off the toll ways.

I have unresolved tickets.

[***]

There's this super-cute artisanal bakery

right down the street from my friend's loft in Dumbo.

It's called "Tarte and Soul".

I picked up the last of their jellies,

-and let me tell you-- -Hi.

...Their truffle oil drizzle is sublime.

Welcome. Welcome.

Oh, Mom, uh, this is Grandma's friend, Zach.

Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Landau.

Thank you for having me.

Oh, well! The more, the merrier.

-Oh, good. Thank you. -Mwah!

-Right. Okay. -Mama.

[smooch] Come this way.

Hey, lady.

I'm sorry to hear about Adam.

Oh, I was so looking forward to a--

...Chin-wag? Yeah.

[laughs]

-Huh. -[Stan] Rachel?

Honey, these boxes in your bedroom

are going home with you tomorrow.

For sure, Dad.

It is time for you to start storing your own garbagio.

Every single time! He's obsessed with those boxes.

Well...

maybe there's a reason he keeps bringing it up.

Could be a clue inside.

It's like old yearbooks and stuff.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

[sighs]

Can I be the judge of that?

Oh, look.

Another NSYNC ticket.

Shocker!

You need to practice some detachment.

Well, you're telling me you don't have a single box

of mementos at your folks' place?

They're divorced, and no, I don't.

Oh.

What do you got here? Poems?

-Short stories? -No. They're like a decade old.

Just-- They're stupid.

Well, this one's marked two years ago.

-No. That's mine. -Whoa. Hold on!

-Whoa, hey, hey-- -That's not for you.

Hold on. What is-- Wait. What is this?

Okay, well, it's--

That is

my young-adult novel.

It's about a...

band of misfits on a quest to find the elixir of youth,

-if you must know. -Well, you had me at "elixir."

-Stop. -Can I read this?

No. Absolutely not!

It's a work in progress.

Well, if it's a work in progress,

what's it doing in a box in New Jersey?

Not haunting me. Apparently, it's a lot easier

to give notes than it is to get 'em.

Okay. Now that we're done

our awkward jaunt down memory lane,

can we get back to the cosmic time-loop?

-Oh, right. That thing. -"That thing."

We need an expert-- someone even more nerdy than you,

if that's possible-- probably not, but we should try.

Careful what you wish for.

1-800-"NERD".

[***]

So the fire breaks out in a different way each time?

[Zach] Mm-hmm.

Fascinating.

[sighs]

Look, if I'm not back in time for the candle lighting,

I'm never gonna hear the end of this.

[Zach] Trust me, this guy is a walking encyclopedia.

Plus, he's one of my best friends,

so let's just keep it a little more dork-positive,

okay?

"Dork-positive"?

Really?

This one... is set on an enchanted island,

where everyone is stuck in a time loop.

It's kind of like

an exploration of immortality, you know.

"Time as a construct," you know?

Illusion versus reality.

How does it end?

Oh, everyone dies.

[Zach] Ahem!

Uh, you know what? Let's, uh, maybe not start with that one.

Okay.

Oh, this one is more of a time-travel story,

but it has a twist at the end that might come in handy,

and, oh, yeah, this one is set in the 1960s,

but I promise you, it's a real page-turner.

I'm not gonna have time to read all of these.

Andy?

How many times did Bill Murray repeat the same day

in Groundhog Day?

Oh, uh...

most scholars agree, it's 12,395 times, give or take.

And what's that in years? Human years?

He follows the Vulcan calendar.

34 years...

nine months, and five days.

-No. -See? Plenty of time.

No, no, no, no, no!

I-I have a job to get back to, bills to pay.

-I have a boyfriend! -Oh, yeah.

The professor with commitment issues?

He does not have commitment issues!

Why do you think he keeps bailing on you?

I forgot, you're Esther Perel!

That's you.

Hey, can you guys just keep it down a notch?

You're scaring the customers.

Okay. Do you want to figure this out or not?

Yes.

Then you have to trust the process.

Okay.

So I think we can all agree that the best course of action

is to figure out the inciting incident--

that's the event that sets the story in motion.

-Okay, yeah. -She's a writer.

-Editor. -She knows

what an "inciting incident" is.

[delighted] Really? You know, I've actually been

working on this fantasy series about these shapeshifting elves.

It's really heady stuff.

-We should trade pages-- -Can we stay on topic?

-Don't pitch her. -What?

The better we know each other, the better we'll work together.

Okay. So, guys. Seventh night. All right?

Maybe it's something Hanukkah-related.

-I mean-- -[door opens]

We're closed!

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay, could be.

Hanukkah. Um...

-Miracles? -Right.

Lightness over dark.

Uh, getting the foil off the chocolate gelt.

Can we please stay on topic? I'm begging.

What? It's really hard to do,

and it's really important to Hanukkah.

-Ridiculously hard. -Is it? Ridiculously hard?

This is brainstorming!

There's no bad ideas in brainstorming.

Yeah, he's right. Okay. Speed round.

Favorite Hanukkah traditions. Go!

-Me? -Yes.

-Lighting the candles. -I said lighting.

Spinning the dreidel-- not to be confused

with spinning the bottle, which is also a good time.

-Dreidel. -Nobody's gonna confuse that.

The dr-- okay. The first night,

when it was my turn to spin,

I used an antique dreidel my grandmother gave me,

and then the curtains caught on fire.

Like, immediately?

-Yeah. -Inciting incident.

Do you think it's related?

I think we need to get our hands on that dreidel.

Okay.

[all] ...B-mitzvotav,

v-tzivanu l'hadlik ner shel Hanukkah.

[Noah] Slime!

I love slime!

Dreidel incoming.

Happy Hanukkah!

Oh. What could this be?

It's just completely opposite to what I'm telling you.

But that's it, WandaVision is a meditation on grief!

She's an Avenger, arguably the most powerful Avenger.

Just because she's a woman--

I was just waiting for the right moment

to give it to you.

Thank you.

It brings light into the lives of people who spin it.

How does it do that, exactly?

You know, Hanukkah-- uh, festival of lights...

oil for days--

all that jazz.

Just because she's a woman, it has to be a meditation?

Hey, Dungeon Master.

Excuse me. Uh, can I talk to you for a second?

This is a pretty important conversation we're having.

[words catch]

Oh! Right! Uh...

to be continued.

[indistinct chatter]

Dude. She has seen every single Marvel movie ever made,

including the TV spinoffs.

I think I might be in love with her.

I think we're annoyed by her, right?

-Stop. Okay. -Yeah. Get on board.

Okay...

Impressive craftsmanship.

-Yeah. -Good heft to it, too.

Not like the plastic ones you get at Hebrew school.

Yeah, okay. It's cold out here. Spin it.

Let's see what happens.

Wait.

What if it's like Richard Donner's Superman?

What?

You know, when the earthquake hits

and Lois gets stuck in the San Andreas Fault?

You think that's gonna work?

-It's worth a try! -Is it?

You know, right? Superman: The Movie?

With Christopher Reeve?

-No. -You like the Henry Cavill one?

-[scoffs] -You do.

Seriously? I have no idea what you see in this woman.

-I just met her! -It's not like that.

Okay. So there's a sequence in the film

where Lois-- [sighs resentfully]

...Superman's lady friend, gets killed.

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Spoiler alerts!

It's a 45-year-old movie. Relax, okay?

Superman can fly really, really fast, right?

So he starts flying around the planet

until it starts spinning backwards.

He turns back time?

-Yes. -Yeah.

In the movie, 'cause it's not real.

Did it work?

Yes.

-In the movie, it did. -Yeah. Let's go.

Yeah. Let's do it.

What's the worst that could happen?

I don't know. The house burns down?

Who cares? It just resets anyway.

[dreidel clatters]

Hey.

So, I guess we just wait here,

see what happens?

Where there's a will, there's a way.

Oh. Speaking of which.

[indistinct exchange]

Five bucks he tries to get her number.

Ten bucks says she gives it to him.

-Okay. -All right.

I take cash, no crypto.

I'm giving it to you in quarters.

[***]

-Mm. -Yeah.

[***]

Wow.

[roars]

[laughter]

Ah! What an epic night, huh, guys?

Yeah.

You do realize her number's

not gonna be in your phone in the morning, right?

-Oh, yeah. That's a good point. -What is it with you guys?

In an infinite multiverse,

every outcome happens eventually,

including me and the hot cousin

making beautiful music together.

-Wow. -That's disgusting.

-[phone rings] -You gonna pick that up?

No. It's just Adam pocket-dialing me,

like he does every night.

[together] What?

Hold on!

Wait. What?

Can you make out what he's saying?

Is there noise in the background?

Sometimes, you can tell a lot.

Guys, guys. I'm sure there is

a perfectly reasonable explanation

for why he's not home.

Uh, yeah. He's, uh, not sick.

You sent it to voicemail.

Let's listen to it.

[scoffing]

What, we're gonna listen to a pocket-dial for clues?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

That's exactly what we're gonna do. Come on.

It's like the worst version of Sherlock Holmes.

Okay.

['80s music playing]

He's at a...

fundraiser?

[sighs]

Like an art gallery o-- Wait!

Is that saxophone?

Hold on. I know what this is.

It's the Rad Reagans.

It's an all-female 1980s cover group.

They only play one-hit wonders.

You got that from listening to pocket dial?

My man here is an '80s-music fanatic.

He puts the R-E-O in Speedwagon,

if you know what I mean.

-I don't. -Don't say words like that.

They're playing at a bar in Tribeca tonight.

We're going there. You're gonna confront him.

I am not goin' to that bar. Nope.

[drumbeat drops]

[***]

* Ahoo! *

* Have a moment! *

Excuse me.

Excuse me...

Yeah, just, okay.

Shall we dance?

We're not here to have fun. We're here on a mission.

Okay. Mission: No Fun. Yes, Ma'am.

All right.

-You see him? -Yep.

The one over there, doing "The Sprinkler".

[Zach] Oh, nice!

That's my move.

Yeah. Okay. Let's go.

Oh! Wait. Whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no.

We're not leaving until you talk to him.

Don't you want to find out what's going on?

I do.

[blows air] Yeah. Okay.

-You got this! -Yeah.

I got this.

[huffs air]

Okay.

* ...You got me to your-- *

* You me to your... *

* You got me to yourself *

Whoo! [laughs]

Yeah, it's you!

[shrieks] Ah.

[drunkenly] Wha-a-a-at?

-Adam. -Hey. Oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

-Rachel! -Yeah.

What are you doing here?

Oh, you know, getting my groove on.

Oh! Bring it back.

-Yeah. -That's great.

Um, how about you? I thought you were, uh...

I thought you were sick?

I, uh, I got a second wind,

and some friends were meeting up, so...

-Yeah. Of course. -Hey, yeah.

You don't have to explain yourself to me.

I know.

You know...

if you didn't want to meet my parents,

you could've just said so.

Oh. Yeah. Um...

look, can we talk about that tomorrow?

Tomorrow's not really an option.

All right. We're gonna do this now.

Um...

I think you're a really lovely person--

[patrons] Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!

Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!

...And I've really enjoyed our time together--

I can't hear you!

[yells] I don't think we should--

-[shouting stops] -...See each other anymore!

You're breaking up with me?

Well, I wanted to wait until after New Year's.

Nobody likes to be alone over the holidays.

You literally left me alone...

on a holiday!

Look, Rachel,

we are like a pair of mismatched lab mice

repelled by each other's pheromones.

That's what I've been saying.

Right.

Can I call you tomorrow?

* ...to yourself *

Uh-huh.

[background music plays]

You know there's no alcohol in that.

-Right? -Yep.

You all right?

You want to know the worst part about all this?

Sure.

I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and Adam and I will still be dating.

I'm gonna get dumped every day

for the rest of eternity.

Whew.

Actually, I think the worst part

is, uh, when he called you a mouse.

And I did nothing about it!

You just stood there.

Can I have the Roy Rogers.

Yeah. You can take that. You ordered it.

Want to know how we met?

Sure.

It was the Friday night mixer at the 92nd Street Y,

and I saw Adam, and I thought... [laughs]

"Well, this must be kismet."

I mean, my parents met at a Jewish singles' event,

and for them, it was love at first sight.

[scoffs]

Another thing?

I do everything for him.

He has this big fancy job and these big credentials,

but I'm the one making sure his quinoa milk

is actually gluten-free!

Well, you work behind the scenes,

-out of the spotlight. -Yeah.

I do everything for everyone.

What about me? Hmm?

[awkwardly] Uh...

What?

[snaps] What?

Okay.

If I say something,

I don't want you to take it the wrong way.

All right?

Promise?

No.

Sometimes...

we fill our days helping others,

but the truth is, we're avoiding our lives.

No, I'm not avoiding anything.

No. No, not you. 'Course not you.

You're busy helping your mom with errands.

-Right? -Yeah.

-Watering your neighbor's lawn? -Yeah.

Fixing typos for your boss?

Yeah, that's my job.

No, it's the perfect plan. Really.

'Cause, that way, you can lie to yourself

that you're fulfilled in your helpfulness,

and you never actually have to put yourself out there,

so, bravo!

Okay. You would be the expert on that, right?

You're speaking to the art teacher

who never has time for anything except helping the elderly.

Yeah. Pfft. Yeah, very impressive.

Adding "the elderly" to your list of good deeds.

Yeah, it is, because, that way, I never have to admit

that all I ever really wanted to do in my life

was be an illustrator for comics and books.

[snorts and laughs]

Yeah, I know. It's stupid.

Oh, no. Really?

-Yeah, really. -Oh.

I get it.

No.

Well, aren't we a pair of avoidant alter kakers?

[Adam] All right, guys! Let's go to the next bar!

All right, let's do it. Okay.

Speaking of avoiding things--

-what are you doing? -Nothing.

-Sit up. -No.

You're shrinking from the spotlight again.

This is your chance. You can tell him how you feel.

Look, maybe this will stop the loop.

[***]

You think I should?

Yes!

You're a writer.

Go give him some words to remember you by.

[yelling] Hey!

"Pharaoh of Pheromones"!

Hi, Rachel.

Nope.

-Mm-mm. Nope. I can't do it. -Okay.

I think we can do better.

Um, maybe, uh...

-you just need to be meaner. -Yeah.

-Can you do, like, a mean face? -Yeah.

[hisses]

I don't know what that is, but I like it.

-Vampire? A bat, maybe? -Do it.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

[***]

[hisses]

Are you okay?

No. No, I'm not okay.

I'm more than okay.

I'm a catch, Adam. A catch, okay?

And if you can't handle...

all of this...

maybe you're not all right.

Because-- Because "this"?

This is done hiding.

Okay, "this"?

This is stepping into the light, all right?

And frankly, I am downright glad it's not with you.

Did you get into the all-you-can-drink

Shirley Temples agai-- -Shh!

Okay, word to the wise,

and I'm telling you this to be nice.

For somebody that knows so much about attraction,

you know what's not attractive?

Your feet.

Invest in a pedicure.

[words catching]

Bye.

That was so good.

-Okay, okay? -Yeah.

I was a little worried at first, but--

Me too!

-You totally stuck the landing! -Do you think?

-Yeah. -I blacked out.

That low-blow-- -What'd I say?

-...With the feet? Yeah. -Feet? Okay.

Don't worry about that guy.

If he can't see how great you are, forget him.

Yeah, okay.

I mean, seriously!

You're so smart.

You're funny. You're beautiful.

You've got this amazing family who would do anything for you.

Right.

Do you know how many guys would kill for that?

Okay. Uh, be careful,

because first rule of time-loop movies is,

don't fall in love with the girl in the loop.

You don't sound confident about that.

I feel confident about it.

Okay.

See, I thought I was Andie MacDowell.

You're not Andie MacDowell.

So I'm Bill Murray?

I-- No! I'm Andie MacDowell and Bill Murray,

and you're the alarm clock.

[balks] Can I at least be the groundhog?

No. I'm the groundhog.

[chuckles]

Why would you get to be the groundhog?

That's thecharacter.

It's five past 12:00.

You made it past midnight.

Do you think that means that--

I-I think that means

this "time loop" theory

was just an excuse to hang out with me.

Stop!

-[laughing] -No. It--

Listen. I'll tell you what.

Why don't we go our separate ways,

get some sleep,

and if your "magic dreidel"--

-Don't do this. -...Permits us--

Don't do this! It's not a "magic--"

well, it is a magic--

Let's get some bagels and coffee tomorrow.

I love bagels and coffee.

I mean, who doesn't?

That's kind of why I offered it.

Yeah, that sounds amazing.

-Okay. -[frustrated grunt]

Is that your angry face?

-No, it's not my angry face. -Okay.

[sighs] Okay.

[hisses]

Listen.

I really hope you wake up and remember me.

Well, I'll tell you what.

If we have to do this a hundred more times--

Don't say that.

I'm here for it.

Okay.

See you tomorrow.

Good night, Alarm Clock.

Good night, Groundhog.

-[alarm rings] -[phone buzzes]

Seriously? Come on! Argh! [muffled screaming]

You still don't have volume six of Paper Girls,

where KJ jumps to an alt-Y2K?

Uh... Andy?

Oh, it's coming in the shipment tomorrow.

Okay, well, I don't need it tomorrow.

I need it today.

I'm done being in this time loop!

Uh, there is, uh... something that...

could work.

-What? -What?

[snaps] What?

Okay. Have you-- have you tried, uh...

taking a jump to the left?

[Zach chuckles drolly]

Uh, no. You might want to take a step to the right.

To the right? Okay.

And then-- and then you put your hands on your hips--

Ahem.

...You bring your knees in tight.

"Time Warp"? Is this the Time Warp?

-Yeah. -This a joke?

It is.

Okay, well, what about Dr. Strange?

Does he deal in time-loop stuff?

Professor X? Anyone?

-[stunned chuckling] -Uh...

This woman is unbelievable.

You just met her at a train station,

and she started talking to you?

Yeah!

Apparently, we've done all these things together,

like, up in her parents' house--

eaten latkes, played dreidel.

Dude...

she knows things about me. Like...

things that you don't even know.

It's freaking me out.

-Hey... -Hey!

[awkward chuckle] So...

uh, Rachel, this, uh--

this boyfriend of yours, is it-- is it serious?

Mm. Well, he's got serious commitment issues.

Yeah. We're on track to break up later this evening,

and then you and I knock back Shirley Temples.

And then what?

No.

No! it's like we...

go our separate ways.

We go our separate ways. What were you thinking?

Then I wake up, and we are at square one.

There must be some angle we haven't covered yet.

Hey. Uh... permission to speak?

Granted.

Hey, uh...

you seem like a really nice person,

so forgive me

for saying this on Hanukkah of all times,

but if you're stuck in a time loop,

that means there's something seriously wrong

with your personality.

-Whoa! -Tact, man!

Stop. Stop. Please.

Well, I think we can all agree it's not the boyfriend.

Uh, what do you do for work?

I am an assistant editor

at a publishing house in the city.

And how's that working out for you?

Amazing. Yeah.

I love it.

I make other people's dreams come true all day

and then I get to restock coffee pods.

[chuckles] Well, your sarcasm suggests

there's something you'd rather be doing,

something you...

lack the courage to pursue?

All right, buddy. That's enough.

[Rachel] No, no, no. He's right.

There's a young adult novel I've been working on forever.

It's about a group of elixir hunters.

It's always been a dream of mine to get it published.

What's stopping you?

The usual-- uh, fear of rejection,

fear of failure, fear of feedback.

Kind of basic.

Huh.

Well, it's crystal clear.

You just need to learn to take feedback.

Oh! That's great.

I have some feedback for you--

terrible idea.

Oh.

Well, now you're being a little harsh.

I think that Andy has a good idea.

You need some feedback.

Who better to give it to you than the three of us?

Check us out.

Okay, so you're suggesting that I give you my manuscript,

and you guys give me notes?

-Yeah. -Uh, yeah, pretty much.

Yep. We'll tell you if it's Chewbacca or Jar-Jar.

I don't know what that means.

Oh, um, work of absolute genius,

or horrible abomination that has stained hearts, minds,

-and souls. -Why didn't you say that?

-[door opens] -Oh, we are--

-Closed. -So sorry.

Do you guys make any money?

-No. -No.

[click]

[***]

[***]

Oh. right.

Well, is it even a twist at that point?

Well, nobody knows! You just kind of go for it.

Okay.

And this. Okay. Okay.

Wait. Where are they?

[indistinct conversation]

[***]

* We're caught in a dream that keeps me awake *

* All through the night... *

It's done.

What's that?

[Zach] Got to look over it.

Okay.

All right, guys.

* ...Out on our own *

* We're lost in this place *

What do you think?

Dry, cheesy...

arguably a little stale.

-Cheetos? -Yeah.

The novel?

The novel's great.

-Really? -Yeah.

Honestly, I didn't--

probably a little more nuance to be mined

from the mentor character, but... a bit 2-D at times.

Okay.

But honestly, everything else is great, killer.

Thank you. Uh, Andy?

Oh, it's good.

Solid read.

Could use a little bit of pacing in act one, but...

"Pacing."

Besides that, you learned well, young Padawan.

Thank you.

Hey.

I'm sorry. Is this boring?

No witty comments? No remark? Nothing?

I love it.

[scoffs] Stop.

It's inspiring.

That's it?

-Nothin' else? -Nope.

Too busy doodling? What are you drawing?

-No, it's just-- -Let me see.

-Ooh, wow! -Hmm.

She's a looker!

I'm not attracted to cartoons, though, for the record.

She's beautiful.

It's just the heroine to your story.

Oh.

Oh, it's Rachel!

[hushed] Dude.

[realizing] Oh.

This is how you see me?

[alarm sounds]

Oh, would you look at that?

It is time to light some Hanukkah candles.

Right.

Yeah.

-Right. -Hanukkah. Almost forgot.

[Rachel] Yes.

-Hey, man-- -Subtlety.

That's my bad.

I'm-- I'm very sorry.

[***]

Oh. That one's heart-shaped.

Oh. I guess so.

I could be wrong, but is someone a touch smitten?

Hmm?

Smitten? [stammers]

Mom? Mom, it's the latkes, it's--

Hey, girl!

We have to talk.

I am 20 pages into this novel you're writing,

and I'm hooked!

Are you writing again? [gasping]

-That is terrific! -Where did you get these?

Oh, Grandma's friend, Zach.

Have you met Zach? Oh, he's a peach.

But, of course, I cannot represent you myself--

Um, no.

He-e-ey!

You hungry? This spread is legit.

Your family's-- wow!

Why did you give Cynthia my pages?

Who cares? You're one step closer to getting published.

My God, don't you get it?

This is never gonna get published,

because this day is gonna keep repeating forever!

[snaps] What?

Well, it wouldn't be the Festival of Lights

without a few fireworks, right?

[laughter]

[knocking]

Hi. You, uh...

seem quite upset.

Do you feel like talking?

Come on, out with it.

I feel like I'm stuck in this massive...

rut--

a rut I didn't even know I was in,

and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to move forward.

You ever felt like that?

[words catch]

Um...

[chuckles dryly]

Tch. The night I met your mom...

...I wasn't supposed to be at that dance.

Your Uncle Harvey, he dragged me there.

Why don't I...

why don't I know this part of the story?

Because it involved another woman.

What? No!

Mm-mm.

Yeah, I was involved in a long-term relationship,

and I was not the one who wanted out.

So you got dumped?

-Mm-hmm. -Oh...

Right before Halloween,

and by the time Hanukkah rolled around...

[laughs]

I mean, I-- I'd just sworn off love completely.

I mean, there was just no way

that I was gonna let my feelings get hurt

like that again,

so I guess...

...you know, I guess you could say

that I was stuck in a rut.

Mm.

And had it not been for Uncle Harvey

pushing me out of my comfort zone--

You never would have met Mom.

Maybe it's time for you

to step outside your comfort zone.

I get it. Yeah.

-[alarm rings] -[phone buzzes]

-[buzzing] -[sighing wearily]

-[ringing] -[buzzing]

[door creaks]

Hi.

You okay?

[tensely] It's just a small case of jetlag.

I flew in from London this morning,

so my body's still running on GMT--

that's "Greenwich Mean Time..." ahem, because I live in London.

[testily] I know where you live.

Sorry. I can't seem to turn it off.

[sighs deeply] Every time I come home for Hanukkah,

I feel like I have to put on this act.

You know, like... like I need to, um, to prove

to everyone

that my life is so fabulous,

when the truth is...

[sobs] ...it's not.

-It's not? -It's not.

[hushed] This may shock you...

but this accent isn't even real.

[mock scoffs] You're kidding.

[Bronx accent] This is how I actually talk.

-You don't remember? -Right. Because, um--

and I didn't and then you talked and I'm, like, "Right."

My colleagues don't trust me,

and I haven't made a single new friend since I moved there.

It's godawful!

And this donut tastes like trash.

-[thud] -I had no idea.

I mean, you're always so confident.

I mean, you walk into a room and people notice.

I always admired that.

Sure. I showboat while you shrink back,

but we're doing the same thing--

trying to avoid rejection, trying to people-please.

It's exhausting!

[relieved chuckle] You have no idea.

I actually

really miss the real you.

I miss you, too.

Okay.

-Get over here! -Okay.

-Okay. Enough about this broad. -Yes.

What is going on with you?

Uh, well, I'm single. Yeah.

Adam and I broke up. He is a textbook narcissist.

-Ew. The worst. -I know.

But there's somebody new.

Mm!

Yeah, there's this guy I really like,

but I can't seem to make any progress.

Oh!

[pat-pat]

All right, all right. Fine.

Spill it, sistah.

[sighs]

Gonna help?

Oh, yeah. Put a donut there.

Oh, that's what I meant. Thank you so much.

And put a donut right there.

Rachel, do you think

I got a chance with your cousin?

Uh, well, you're like magnets--

you end up together in every loop, so.

Really?

She really likes you.

-Huh! -Yeah.

Cool.

Cool, cool, cool.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go circulate!

[Rachel chuckles]

-[smack] -Stop!

Whatever. It's not Goldberg's anyways.

Yeah, well, maybe if you quit

running into me at the train station...

[chuckles briefly]

What?

Do you think the donuts

have something to do with the time loop?

Maybe. I mean, we're in magic-dreidel territory now,

so, could be.

They're a symbol of my parents' undying love.

I have an idea.

Trust the process.

We gotta get those donuts to that party unscathed.

No flattened donuts, no flattened time.

Obviously, that's the way out of the time loop.

-[dryly] Oh, obviously. -[door opens]

[all] We're closed!

Well, that could work. Either that,

or our girl has gotten a little loopy from all these time loops.

We got to get those donuts out of the train station unscathed.

Well, we could just buy more donuts.

"Buy more donuts"? Why didn't I think of that?

Oh, wait. I did, and it didn't work, so.

Did you ever get to level 17

of that Vampire Legion game I loaned you?

The one with the blood-sucking unicorns and--

-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. -...The flame-throwing ferrets?

The one where you think you're supposed to go

through the brick fireplace to level up,

but you really need to--

...Bypass the hell-mouth completely, yes!

You know this game?

Yeah. We beat it a loop ago.

We beat it?

No? Okay.

You're right.

We gotta bypass the train station,

but how do we get on the train?

Oh, no-no-no-no. We are never getting those donuts

to New Jersey on the train.

Well, how do we get to the party, then?

[***]

[sighs]

She's a... a beauty.

Thank you.

I painted the, uh, dragon wings on the hood myself.

Ah. Okay.

Okay. Here's what we'll do. When I wake up,

I'll drive over to Hero Worship, kidnap Seth,

throw him in the van, and then we'll drive

over to your apartment and pick you up.

What makes you think I'm gonna believe you

if you just show up at my house with a kidnapped Seth?

Oh... [laughs] ...you'll believe me.

You always believe me.

Yeah. Don't believe you.

Answer's no.

If you let me explain, I'll tell you.

Is this what you do?

You just knock on strangers' doors,

tell them you're a time traveler?

Seriously?

You don't believe me?

Why aren't you hitting on me?

I gotta catch my train.

Stop!

Hold on.

You like LARPing,

but your passion is...

illustrating for comic books.

How could you possibly know that?

I also know that you teach at Cedar Hill Terrace,

which makes you, like, the most selfless person I know.

[sighs] You're smart.

You're funny.

You are very optimistic,

no matter how hopeless the situation gets.

And my grandmother is right--

you have the most beautiful hands.

[sighs]

Are you hitting on me?

I know that this sounds strange.

Little bit.

But we are stuck in a time loop together.

-Oh, we're stuck? -You and me.

And you said you'd help me get out of it.

I'm sorry.

I, uh...

Yeah.

Okay.

[stammers] Look. It's the, um...

The dice!

You have a vintage dice protector

in your left pocket.

It's two dodecahedron D&D dice,

a gift from your Zayde Sam-- unbelievably nerdy, but...

they mean the world to you.

[rumbling]

Hi, Seth.

You know Seth?

Yeah. He was super into it.

It's a long story, but a fun one,

and I will tell it to you, if you get in the van.

[Seth] Get in the van, man!

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. That was easy.

[***]

How did she rope you into this?

Look, man, she's a time traveler

with a singular mission. I've seen Terminator.

You think I wanna mess with Skynet?

I don't think she's a cyborg.

I'm not taking any chances.

Oh!

There's Goldberg's.

[***]

Popular place.

Oh, God. I forgot. Don't look.

-What's that? -Don't look behind.

Okay.

There's a very nosy lady in line.

Do not engage with her.

-What are you doing? Stop! -Oh. Made eye contact.

Okay, but leave me out of it.

-Chag Sameach. -Hi.

Looks like somebody is going to a Hanukkah party!

Yeah!

-Yes. -This is Rachel. I'm Zach.

-Mildred. -Mildred? Nice to meet you!

Stop.

We're actually going to Rachel's parents' house

for a Hanukkah party tonight. Yeah.

You're meeting them? For the first time, tonight?

Her parents?

-First time. Yeah. -He is.

Her Bubbe set us up.

-[phone rings and buzzes] -Oh...

and that is my phone.

-So convenient! -Gotta take that. Bye!

Hey, babe. Bad news.

I'm not gonna make it tonight.

I'm, uh-- [coughs] ...I'm feeling sick.

Adam, hey. I'm glad you called.

We need to talk.

Oh, that sounds ominous.

Listen, I know you don't want to meet my parents.

I get it. It was way too soon!

I never said that!

Yeah, you don't have

to pretend to be sick or anything.

* Five shiny things... *

Deep down, we know we are not right for each other.

[busker pauses]

Are you breaking up with me?

I am.

And I gotta run.

Trust me, there are

no hard feelings.

Ahem.

Yeah.

Buddy.

[busker sighs]

-...Bette Midler. -Yeah?

-What'd I miss? -Oh, so much!

I was just telling your beau

I'm often mistaken for a young Bette Midler.

-Really? -Striking, honestly. Yeah.

Striking. That's what I thought too.

And also... Mildred was telling me

that she's gonna be lighting the Hanukkah candles

alone tonight.

-With the boyfriend? -No.

Or girlfriend? I'm hip to that.

No, I'm sorry, I only have my kids in Seattle.

Oh! Hop, skip, and a jump, though.

-Not that close, though. -Could be, though!

-Mm. -Ah. We Zoomed the first night,

but, you know, they have busy lives

and parties of their own to-- [sniffles deeply] ...attend.

Right.

But if only there was a Hanukkah party

we could invite her to, you know?

-Oh, no. If only! -Yeah.

-Mm. -What is that?

Is that a hint that I just dropped?

-There it is! -Okay, stop. Thank you.

Is that Rose Landau?

Mildred Tannenbaum?

Talk about kismet!

How do you guys know each other?

We met Mildred in line at Goldberg's.

Oh, Mildy and I went to school together in Newark.

What a mitzvah--

your Rachel inviting me to the party tonight!

Ah, she's a good one.

[chuckles]

Let's all keep that in mind.

-Oh. Sorry. -Sorry.

-No. No. -My bad.

The donuts are okay. That's what matters.

[Zach] That's the important thing.

[Rachel] Yeah. Yes.

Seems to be going pretty well.

-I think so. -Yeah.

I think we make a good team.

Yeah. A really good team.

I don't know how to thank you.

Well, I could--

[***]

-Was that the first time-- -Yeah.

Can you save it for a bigger van?

[chuckling]

All right.

You, uh--

You go.

Make sure these donuts arrive in one piece.

Okay.

We'll meet you inside.

-Okay. -All right.

Got your stuff here.

[Stan] Seth Rubenstein cannot play tennis!

-Yes, he can, Stan. -He has one--

Oh!

There she is!

My publishing/editor baby.

Dad.

Look who showed up to surprise you.

Happy Hanukkah.

Yeah.

[***]

[hushed] Adam, what are you doing here?

After this morning, it occurred to me

that I have been so focused on work

that I haven't been paying attention

to what's really important.

I never go to--

-Adam-- -...The archery range anymore.

And don't get even get me started on the sub-par--

-Okay. Adam-- -...Espresso machine

-at the faculty club. -Adam.

I have been taking you for granted, too.

Hearing you this morning--

you're so decisive, so assured.

It's like you're a brand-new woman.

Okay. Adam. Adam! I meant what I said this morning.

All right. Just let me stay for the candle-lighting.

-[doorbell chimes] -I came all this way.

Okay. Just...

we're still broken up!

Hi.

[chuckling] Oh!

Ah! Happy Hanukkah, everyone!

I can take your coats.

Everything work out okay with the sufganiyot?

Yeah. Can we talk for a second?

-Okay. -Yeah. Just...

Hi! You must be Rose.

It's such a pleasure to meet you.

I'm Adam, Rachel's boyfriend.

Not.

[Rosie chuckles]

And you are?

I'm Zach... Rubin.

Rosie's driver.

Oh, that's wonderful.

I'm always looking for a reliable car service

to the airport. Do you have a card?

Not on me.

[loudly] You know,

I left my nebulizer

in the van! Would you be a dear,

and go get it for me?

-Would love to. -Thank you, darling.

[Rosie chuckles]

Oh. Uh...

This... is Mildred Tannenbaum.

And I'm sure she would love it

if you would share your groundbreaking research

on hamster lice.

I would? I would!

A Manischewitz for the lady?

[chuckling]

What do I do?

Go after him!

-Go! -This is it!

[Seth] Go!

This is it! Yes, yes!

Zach! Zach, can we talk?

You're in a relationship. I get it.

No, no. We broke up.

That was the phone call I took at Goldberg's.

Okay, so what does that make me?

Your time-loop rebound?

No! We've broken up, like-like, four times.

We even did it together on the third loop.

I'm very ready to move on.

-Oh. -Wish you could remember it.

Yeah, well, I don't,

and from where I'm standing, it kind of feels like

you're using me to make your boyfriend jealous.

No. I would never do that.

I mean, he's never done that before.

Well, maybe that's a sign.

Maybe...

Maybe you two are meant to be together.

How could you say that?

After everything we've been through?

Look, that's just it-- in your mind,

we've been on this epic journey together,

but for me, I'm on day one here.

Okay? And I can't seem to catch up.

Let me explain.

No. It's--

it's been a really long day, so...

I'm gonna go inside.

Zach?

[***]

-[footsteps race up] -Oh... my... gosh!

Rachel!

[British accent] Uh... gosh.

-"Gosh" is what I said. -Okay.

I just finished the first 20 pages of your book,

and it is incredible!

-It is? -100%!

And I'm-I'm so honored that you asked me to read it.

Okay. Uh...

Are you writing a novel?

Yeah. It's a new thing I'm trying--

No. Oh, please.

No! The stories that this lady would tell us as children

are what inspired me to get into publishing.

Really? I didn't know that.

Well--

You're full of surprises today.

Okay, so I can't represent you myself,

and the UK's a completely different market,

but I am meeting with some publishers

while I'm in town, for some drinks,

and I would just love

to chat you up-- if that's all right with you.

Yes!

Yes. Yes! That'd be wicked awesome.

Excuse me. Emergency. Josh!

Oy. She's a handful.

I can see why she gets under your skin.

You know what?

I'm gonna step into my light.

It's time for you to go.

Uh, can I have everybody's attention, please?

Whoo!

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Well, thank you for that. Um...

I just want to thank everybody

for being here

to help Joanna and me celebrate our 36th anniversary--

Whoo!

...Of the first night we met.

That Adam is so full of himself.

Rosie--

Now get in there and fight for her!

It's out of my hands.

You think I brought you in here

so you could stuff yourself full of latkes?

[Stan] 18 is a lucky number...

My granddaughter needs saving.

She's a damsel in distress!

I think that's a bit of an outdated paradigm.

Oh, for heaven's sake!

You need to start living your life.

It's what your grandfather would have wanted.

Not pullin' any punches tonight, are we?

True love is so difficult to come by.

Yeah.

Shoshana...

we're so happy you found it with Bex.

And who knows?

Maybe this is the year that Rachel finds her soul mate.

Seems like she already found him.

[all] ...Shel Hanukkah.

[***]

[sighs quietly]

[***]

And this is for you, Bex.

Oh? Oh, thank you.

Yeah, uh, it's for your seventh night party

next year.

Mom and Dad's are getting a little old.

Oh. So I guess they told you, then?

Uh...

not in so many words.

Your house is so much bigger

than their condo, so, no-brainer.

This is gonna be a tough act to follow.

No. Are you kidding?

It's gonna be amazing.

I'm gonna help you-- start with the donuts.

-Really? -Yeah.

Oh. Thanks, Rach.

So can I keep a box at your house?

-Rachel? -Like a shoe box?

Guess again.

Come with me.

I want to give you something.

Go on. Open it.

That dreidel has been in our family

for generations,

and from watching you tonight,

I can tell that you've been making good use of it.

Are you saying what I think you're saying?

What?

That you shouldn't eat day-old gefilte--

No, Grandma. The-- The dreidel.

It brings light into the lives of those who spin it.

Mm-hmm.

There's no more to say than that?

I think there might be something else to say.

It's not for me to say.

Okay, but the fact that you're even

sort of saying anything is a good sign, right?

Listen, I...

I don't want to be ungrateful, but the time loop stops, right?

Spin... the dreidel, dear.

Find out.

[sighs]

Time to ante up!

-I got it. -Mm-hmm.

Okay.

[dreidel rumbles]

Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin! Shin!

Shin-shin-shin-shin-shin-shin!

Shin-shin-shin-shin-shin-shin...

[shrieks] Ah! You landed on gimmel!

Wow! Winner.

Talk about beginner's luck.

You won it all!

Okay, come on. Don't be...

[click]

Hey, buddy.

Hey. Yeah. Just grabbing my jacket.

Find me later?

You better believe I will.

[party continues, indistinct]

What an amazing day, huh?

Yeah. I'm gonna call you tomorrow, okay?

What? Hey! You can't leave, man.

Rachel made it past the dreidel game

without the house burning down.

She leveled up, man!

Maybe because her boyfriend finally made it to the party.

We don't know that! It could've been the donuts.

Look, some things aren't meant to be, all right?

I think this one might be doomed to fail.

You know who else was doomed to fail?

Who?

The Maccabees.

I know. I went to Hebrew school. What's your point?

Miracles do happen.

And when you find

someone that you connect with like that, right away?

That's nothing short of miraculous.

Come on, man. Don't leave before the miracle!

Make good choices.

You know that I won't!

[door shuts]

[yawning]

[sighs]

[***]

[***]

[shrieks] Yes! Yes!

Okay! Yahoo! Okay. Yes.

Wow.

Well, glad to see you're finally up.

I am so happy to be here!

Oh. Me too!

But your mom is intent on boxing up the kitchen

before I drop you off at Cedar Hill Terrace, so,

maybe you want to get dressed?

There's a holiday art exhibit luncheon today--

it's today!

Yeah. Your grandma's excited to see you,

but not in your pajamas, so come on, get dressed.

Okay. Dad, don't! Stop! Don't spin that.

No, no, no, no, no.

It only trips a time loop if you spin it

on the seventh night in the presence of soul mates.

You know about the dreidel?

Of course I do.

Didn't you hear what Grandma Rosie said?

It's been in our family for generations.

It's like our own personal rite of passage, Rach.

You loop for seven nights

and, after that, true soul mates connect.

You've...

spun the dreidel?

Tanta Sophie gave me it to me the night I met your mother.

Rachel, lookit.

I mean, "Dr. Dreidel"?

-I needed the help. -No, no, no, no.

You met and it was love at first sight.

Absolutely not! Are you kidding?

I mean, it was so far from--

I, yeah, I needed a full seven loops,

and, I mean, you should've seen the journey

that Shoshana and Bex went on

when Shosh spun it. I mean--

Wait. Shoshana spun the dreidel?

So everyone in the family has spun the dreidel?

Yeah. True love was f--

Okay. I know, I know.

I understand that this is a lot.

This is--

Are you-- you gonna throw up?

No. I...

if it takes seven loops to find your soul mate,

that means Zach and I weren't meant to be.

He left, Dad.

Rachel, how many days are there in Hanukkah?

Eight.

Right.

This only takes you so far.

It can give you a few pitches, but you've got to give it a hit.

Create your own miracle.

Is that a baseball reference?

That's a-- yeah, it's a base-- All right.

Sorry.

He's really mad.

So what?

I don't know anybody who said this was easy.

It's love!

It's messy. It's...

We just need to come up with a good plan.

Okay.

Okay.

For courage!

-Oh, yeah. -Drink up.

Okay.

Mm.

[quiet jazzy music plays]

Oh.

I just saw Zach a few minutes ago,

going into the back room.

No matter what goes on between you two in there...

...I'm proud of you.

For potentially making a fool out of myself?

Well, for putting yourself out there,

and not just romantically.

Your mother tells me you started writing again.

Oh. This lady needs to lay off the group chats.

Well, she's proud of you.

We all are!

Yeah.

I was a child when my parents first came to this country.

For such a long time,

we were just focused on survival.

We couldn't take the risk

of letting our true selves shine!

But that does not have to be your story.

Here's to the chutzpah...

of showing the world what you got.

Yeah. Well, if I am that way, it's because of you.

I'll drink to that!

L'chaim.

Like fruit-flavored gasoline.

Oh.

I have the dreidel back for you.

In due course.

In the meanwhile...

protect it.

What do you mean?

Uh, do you need some help?

No. I think I can handle it.

Okay, great. Um...

well...

I, uh...

made you a Hanukkah gift. It's...

You made me a mix tape?

Yeah.

It's, like, '80s power ballads, mostly.

There's some REO Speedwagon, I know you like that.

Did you travel back to the 1980s to make this?

[sets cassette down]

No.

Ahem.

I'm sorry about Adam.

He's a jerk,

but I should have told you about...

all of that before the kiss.

Yeah. Just to be clear,

it's not the kiss that I had a problem with.

I know that this is scary,

and that you don't remember a lot of it,

but it is special,

and worth showing up for.

Come on. Say something, please.

[sighs]

Look, I can't deny it.

I've never felt like this before.

I really like you. I do.

But we just met yesterday,

and you clearly have so much going on.

I just--

I'm sorry, I need to protect myself, you know?

[realizing] Protect yourself?

-Yeah. -You need to protect yourself.

Right. Um...

Okay. Hold on...

Where are you?

Dice. [rattling] Your dice case.

You said that this is vintage, right?

-Well, it's more antique, but-- -Give me your hand.

-Okay. -Okay.

It's not meant to protect these. It's meant...

[exhales]

...to protect this. [clack]

[***]

[***]

-Hey... -Hey!

[***]

* The future... *

[***]

* ...Is open wide *

[***]

* I'll stop the world and melt with you *

[***]

* Let's stop the world *

* You've seen the difference *

* And it's getting better... *

-We really did all of that? -Yeah!

[sighs deeply]

* ...There's nothing you and I won't do *

[***]

* Let's stop the world *

* I'll stop the world and melt with you *

You gotta admit,

this is one heck of an origin story.

Yeah!

[chuckles]

[***]

Oh, don't stop on our account!

[applause rises]

Well, you know what this means, right?

-I do not. -You're Bill Murray.

I'm Andie MacDowell.

Oh. Am I?

Okay, I will let you be Andie MacDowell

as a Hanukkah gift.

-Oh, thank you. -One Hanukkah gift.

Oh, that's so nice of you.

[***]

Oh, yes! Thank you.

-What? -Don't even think about it.

[***]

* ...I'll stop the world and melt with you *

[***]

* Let's stop the world *

* You've seen the difference *

* And it's getting better all the time *

* There's nothing you and I won't do *

[***]

* Let's stop the world *

* I'll stop the world and melt with you *

[***]

* Hmm hmm hmm *

* Hmm hmm hmm hmm... *

* Hmm hmm hmm *

[***]