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This is the best table in the house.

It's the best table in the house.

Excuse me.

Excuse me...

-Can I...? -Hi, Steen! Two G&Ts!

-Excuse me, I was about to order. -Sorry, did I cut in?

-I just ordered. -What do you want? On me.

-Two beers then. -And two Sambucas.

-For my friend too. I've got a friend... -Lucky you. Three Sambucas!

Hi.

-Hey, that's for wusses! -It's Sambuca. This is Puk.

-Like the music? -It was awesome.

-Let's light it up. -Alright. You set them on fire, Bo.

Cheers.

Let's hit the dance floor!

I think I'd better get home.

I live close by.

I just puked, and you want to take me home?

No, but in case you were wondering, I live right over here.

Are you okay?

I made breakfast.

-Huh? -Last night, so I wouldn't forget.

You made French toast?

Yeah.

COUPLES THERAPY

-Perfect! -Now can we go in?

-Just a final quick one. -That makes it four.

Yes, but Bitten's not in it. You're way out there.

-Does it matter? -Sure. We want the sign in it too.

Hurry, before we get run down. The last one! Yeah!

There. Let me see.

Great.

Just one more, honey.

It's a bit cold around the feet, but only because the heating's not on yet.

Well... A giant living room.

Wild, huh? It's gonna be fantastic, sweetie.

-Isn't it a great house? -It smells of old people.

The smell will disappear in time when we've fixed it up.

"In time" as in "now".

"Now" as in we're moving in now, and then we'll find out what needs fixing.

That's what we do now.

I say let's get it over and done with. Living in a rebuilding mess is hell.

But if you start right away, you don't always know where to start.

So it's a good idea to stop and say: "Hey, what do we really want?"

Ready for the big surprise?

This way, sweetie.

Almost there. Mind your step.

Wow, a basement?

Not just any basement, it's your basement.

Mine?

You get your own private entrance. Your own bathroom.

-The entire basement? -The entire basement.

Fuck you!

Think she was happy? No... yes.

-What? -Didn't you feel it?

-What? -What? What?

What are you doing?

What's up?

-Goddammit! What are you doing? -I dropped you, honey.

Shit!

Bring it in.

Just one crate?

-No? -No.

So this is where we live now.

Remember how we had sex in all the rooms in our old apartment?

-What? -Listen.

-What? -Listen to how quiet it is.

Just think, this is where we're gonna spend the rest of our lives.

Anders... Anders!

-I think we've got a water problem. -Oh.

Yup.

Nice on the outside, but rotten on the inside.

-There must be something we can do. -Move out.

Sell to the first sucker who comes around.

-What are you saying? -Floor's rotten. Pipes are crap.

Anders, can I talk to you for a sec?

-What does that mean? -Just that the house is rotten.

-We've bought a rotten house? -Nah...

I told you we could only afford a bargain house that needed fixing.

So I knew the house was rotten?

-This is our dream. We'll work it out. -Our dream?

Who dreams about living in a rotten house?

Look, okay...

We'll work it out. We'll fix it. Bo will fix it.

-Bo? -Bo will look on while I fix it.

-Sure this is necessary? -Yes, we need to put in new boards.

-He said it was in the bathroom. -Maybe the bathroom.

Maybe the entire second floor. But hey, it's no problem.

We've put our savings in a rotten house.

I think it's romantic.

-It's what's inside that counts. -That's what's rotten.

-Apart from that you're happy with it? -With what?

With the house.

-Whoa! -Whoa what?

Whoa, this is gonna cost you.

-What are we talking here? -We're talking a new floor.

-The floor's broken. -But...

-Why don't you hire some workmen? -We can't afford it.

-How romantic. -That we can't afford workmen?

It brings you closer together.

-Why don't you have a garage sale? -Why don't we have a garage sale?

You could sell coffee, have Bitten bake a sponge cake.

-Make lemonade for the local kids. -Bitten will bake a cake... as if!

I guess I don't know much about houses after all.

You've got plenty of room.

Shut off the second floor for now and move into the basement.

Bitten. Mind if we come in?

-Ever heard of knocking? -But I haven't put in a...

We need to talk to you.

Let's just say it like it is. The thing is...

-Would you like the big room? -No.

No. What? No.

-Sure about that? -Dead sure.

Look...

It turns out the house is rotten to the core.

We have to renovate it completely, which will be very expensive.

So we have to rent out the basement for now.

-That's not my problem. -Not if you can afford the rent.

-You promised I could live here. -We're very sorry, but look.

-It's gonna take a year, max. -Fuck you!

She wasn't happy, huh?

She wasn't.

She was... not.

I'll just post this, and then we'll go shopping.

I was so excited about that room, and then you just take it back.

You can't have been excited for long.

That's not the point. You suck as parents!

I'm gonna wait in the car.

I'll fight you for it.

-Sorry. -I have a suggestion.

I only need a steak with my red wine. Wanna split?

I got the pork chops and the sausages. Good thing I'm a piggy girl.

-Okay? -I've always...

I don't believe it! Hey!

Hey, sister. Stop that!

-Hey! Get your cat off my family. -Mind your language.

We both know who started this fight. I was here first!

-I'm very interested... -We'll get back to you soon.

-What are you doing? -Listen.

I'm glad you're getting things done, because I'm just wasting time.

I've been through ten dull applicants that I don't want inside our house.

And so I ask myself: "I wonder where Anders is in all this?"

-Well, look, it was my idea. -"Well, look?" You can't say that.

It's either "well" or "look".

Well or look, what are you mad about?

I'm mad because we live in a house full of fungi

and rot and deadly holes.

And because we've let Bitten down, and we suck as parents.

And I'm really mad because I have to be mad about this all by myself!

-I don't know what you're doing. -You're saying I don't do anything?

I've put up lamps.

Oh no, you don't! Come on.

I've... Look, I've put that one up.

And that one, and I put that one up yesterday.

-And I put the sign on the door. -So that's how I found our house.

-Thanks a lot. -Don't make fun of me.

Okay, let's just take the next one who comes a-knocking.

Let me handle this.

Ulrik Mossén. I'm here about the room.

-Hello. What a... -Or did you find a tenant already?

-It's yours, if you like it. -We'd better make sure that...

-That? -That we like him... you.

-Why wouldn't we? Come on in. -Thanks.

Well...

-You just moved in? -Yes.

-Not enough room in the old place? -Well, we're a proper little family.

Sure, you can always alter the physical framework.

Just remember, it's not always the framework that causes one's problems.

Well, we don't have the kind of framework that causes problems.

-Not in this house. -Why rent out the basement then?

-That's been the plan all along. -No, we've been forced into it.

-Still, it was the practical thing to do. -But that doesn't mean... Sorry.

You don't need to listen to this. The bathroom is right through there.

-How long have you been together? -11...

-15. -15 years now.

-Impressive. -Is that relevant to your moving in?

-Puk, you don't... -I just need a place to work.

I'm a therapist. A couples therapist.

-So you're not gonna live here? -No, I just want to write a book.

-We'll call you. -Fine. Bye.

-Well, whaddaya know? -It's peculiar though.

-I saw him at the supermarket. -That guy?

-Where you posted the ad? -Yes.

You're right, that is peculiar.

Didn't you find his questions strange? Why did he want to know all that?

-It probably goes with the job. -You didn't think it a bit...?

-Okay, let's choose one of the others. -What?

-Isn't that what you want? -What do you want, Anders?

-I'm happy, if you're happy. -You're happy, if I'm happy?

-So you want to take Ulrik? -Okay.

-Don't do that. -Okay.

-Anders, stop. -What?

-Doing that! -Okay.

So we're...

We're gonna call... Ulrik? No.

You're gonna handle it, right?

-Yes? -The Merry Carpenter. 'Morning.

Er... it's six in the morning.

I'll make some coffee right away.

Get a move on! The client isn't paying you to...

Keep it down. My wife and daughter are still asleep.

Michael, watch out! And take off your shoes in other people's homes!

-Sorry. It won't happen again. -No problem.

-Ulrik is moving in. -Gee, in the basement he rented?

-Listen to me. -I'm peeing.

-So he brought his bed. -He's not just using it as an office.

-He moved all kinds of stuff in. -Are you spying on him?

Puk, Puk...

-I want to know what's going on here. -You never do, and it seems to work.

What do you mean?

Ulrik can use his basement any way he wants.

-I just think it's strange... Hi, Ulrik. -Hi.

I did knock, but you didn't hear me. Am I interrupting anything?

-No. We need to talk to you too. -I know.

-You're wondering about the bed. -Yeah.

It's part of the writing process. Home is where your bed is, you know?

Ulrik, it's your basement now. You can fill it with hay, if you want to.

We're very tolerant. Right, Anders?

-Coffee? -Please.

-Ulrik, coffee? -Yes, please.

Thanks.

I need to get on with my work.

Well, so do I.

ARE YOU HAPPY?

MY PARTNER BORES ME:

HOW CONTENT ARE YOU WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

-Puk. -You forgot these in the kitchen.

Just leave them there.

I couldn't help skimming...

Alas! The door of happiness does not open inward

so that one can push it open by rushing at it.

It opens outward, and therefore you can do nothing about it.

What?

Alas! The door of happiness does not open inward

so that one can push it open by rushing at it.

It opens outward, and therefore you can do nothing about it.

Søren Kierkegaard. First edition.

First issue. Just like being there.

Ulrik.

From a strictly professional point of view, would you call...

... you and Anders a happy couple?

Hi.

-What have you done? -I've cooked dinner.

But there's wine and music.

Nice, huh?

I felt like going all out, even if it is just a weekday.

Gee.

-Have you had a nice day, honey? -Okay, what's wrong?

Are we happy?

Well, right now, or...?

Do you think we're happy?

Sure I do... don't I?

-Sure, there are little things. -Exactly.

So let's deal with the little things before they grow into a big heap.

Clear the air.

Metaphorically speaking.

Let's embrace this gift of having Ulrik move into our basement.

He's a couples therapist, so let's start couples therapy.

-No. -What do you mean, no?

I mean no, I don't want to.

-You just mentioned the little things. -Exactly, little things.

Everyone's got little things. We're doing great. We just bought a house.

Honey?

I just don't feel very happy right now.

Aren't you happy at all?

Puk, say something. Honey.

Ouch.

If you really want to...

-Don't do it for my sake. -No, for our sake.

-How long does it take? -Until we're finished.

They're just a bit hot. Thanks.

10 out of 9 couples in couples therapy split up.

-One meter to your right. -Listen to me: Steer clear of feelings.

-It may have countless repercussions. -Bo, your other right!

You and I don't talk, and it works. Never start talking.

You're right back where we started.

Worst case scenario: She leaves you. So what?

Why would she?

Because she realizes you're not the exciting guy she once met.

-What about yourself? -What about me? Nobody leaves Bo.

And that's because nobody ever hooks up with Bo, for crying out loud.

Yeah, well...

Shucks, Bo.

I rest my case. Never start talking. Get to work.

I'd like to start by thanking you, Anders.

It's marvellous of you to agree...

Puk, stop. Before we get down to the actual talk therapy

you must learn how to talk to yourselves.

I want you to keep a video diary.

Begin by describing your first meeting.

A video diary?

But I thought talking was the whole point.

First you need to verbalize yourselves for yourselves.

Don't worry, no one but you will see it.

Okay.

How did Puk and I meet?

I was probably out with Bo.

I'm sure it was with Bo.

Sure, I was very fortunate.

I still feel I am.

Sometimes I can't help wondering

if Puk has been just as fortunate.

Sometimes I can't help wondering

if Puk has been just as fortunate.

Okay, you've made your entries.

Isn't it nice to verbalize your original feelings?

Yes.

It was...

... a relief to verbalize one's original feelings.

Yes.

How about you, Anders?

Sure, it was...

My experience was one of...

It was a relief

to verbalize

my original feelings.

Yes.

Anders, some men tend to feel inadequate.

-Does that sound familiar you to? -Inadequate?

Maybe you feel Puk is too good for you.

Or that you aren't exciting enough for her.

Well, I...

I guess I think I am.

Or I think that I am.

Anders, do you feel it's your fault the two of you need couples therapy?

Well, it's...

Dammit! The workmen are...

I just need to...

-Or else they'll... -So...

It's often hard at first.

Get me a pop tart, and I'll pop it right away.

Pop it...

-That's some hole. -These need changing. Corroded.

-Pass me the paté. -It's called a LABUB.

Leg, arm pit, bikini area, upper lip, brow.

-They do anal bleaching too. -Where you bleach your...

The first one to run ten laps gets an ice cream.

That's what I'm up against out there. LABUB is the least of my worries.

The women out there are skinnier, younger, big-chested... And I try.

I put my hair up, down, I get extensions, peelings

I rub my cellulite with a steel brush.

-Are you laughing at me? -No, but come on. A steel brush?

You think it's funny? You don't know a thing about it.

You can look like you've done the past 20 years.

Same old hair, same old clothes, same old skin. Anders doesn't mind.

You don't know how lucky you are.

Let's go find come ice cream. Ice cream for your thighs.

Now that you've retold your first meeting to yourselves

the next step is to rediscover that feeling of when you fell in love.

See one another, together.

-Rekindle the flame? -Couldn't have put it better myself.

Sit down in front of each other and verbalize the person in front of you.

You want me to sit in front of Puk?

No, sit down in front of Ulrik and rekindle the flame with him.

Sarcasm isn't constructive. It's nothing but a shield.

Sit over here, Puk.

Try to rediscover your warm feelings for Anders, while I put on some music.

Remember, Puk. Sarcasm is nothing but a shield.

-Ready? -Yes.

Sitting across from me is my husband Anders.

We've been together for... "15 years now."

Married for 11 years

and we have a beautiful girl. Bitten.

Puk, don't fill in the facts. Describe the person in front of you.

Close your eyes, Anders.

-Anders has got long arms. -What...

-Just close your eyes, Anders. -She makes me sound like an ape.

Anders has got long, long, long arms.

They're stringy. He's got blue eyes with specks of green.

Dark hair. Very thick, dark curly hair.

-It grows fast and covers his eyes... -Close your eyes, Anders.

It's funny. When he gets excited, the corner of his mouth trembles.

Quite kinky. And he smells gorgeous.

-Particularly the nape of his neck... -Fine, Puk.

-Anders, your turn. -You think I smell good?

Let's not discuss what's been said. Try to live in the now.

Close your eyes. You too, Puk.

Puk is...

Puk's eyes are...

They are...

They are...

Eye-colored? My eyes are eye-colored, Anders?

-They're beautiful. I know the color. -So what color are they?

-They are... -What color is the car?

Silver-grey with a tint of champagne.

They're blue, honey. I just saw. Blue.

Listen, honey...

Yes, there's still work ahead.

Her clothes had me confused.

She was all dressed up, and we we're just going to see Ulrik.

-That's stupid of her. Where's B? -What?

-Where's point B? -Why is Puk stupid all of a sudden?

It won't get her anywhere. The guy's a sausage jockey.

You're not listening. She wants to look good for our therapist.

-Who cares? The guy's a homo. -No, he's not.

-He's a homo? -Sure he is.

"I know all about feelings." "I know what wallpaper matches the couch."

"When I drive my car, I always play with the stick."

He's an H.O.M.O., for... Oh, for fuck's sake!

-I don't think so. -Get out of that therapy crap now!

-What about Puk? -Puk needs a man.

An M.A.N.

Are you okay?

Tell Puk you love her. She'll be happy and let you off the hook.

I try to tell her by doing what she says. Women want action, not words.

-Hey, you're living with your mom. -My mom is my tenant, Anders.

Anders, stop. Get off me.

Get off me, Anders. Get off me!

I've got something I want to talk about. Last time I felt...

Just a second, Anders. Puk, have you thought about what we discussed?

-Yes. -You've talked without me?

I gave Puk a little assignment after our last session.

I've divided my list up into two categories. This...

... is what I want. And this is what I get.

-Let's begin with what you want. -Surprise. Initiative.

I can predict every word that leaves Anders' mouth.

-You can't. -I knew he'd said that.

-What are you talking about? How... -"How do you know that?" I knew it!

-Cut it out... -I knew he'd do that.

I know what he's gonna do before he does it. All the time.

-So predictable. -I've had it.

-He's had it, and then we leave. -Let's try something else.

Hi, honey. I've made dinner all by myself. Taste it, before you add salt.

Home at last. I can't wait for it to be my turn to cook.

-I'm gonna make spaghetti carbonara. -I do make other dishes.

-Stay in character, Anders. -I'm beat.

I'm gonna go out and soundproof something that doesn't need it.

No, I've got so many feelings I've been wanting to talk about... for ages!

Fire away. I'm not listening anyway, just giving you the empty stare

while I think about my silver-grey car with a tint of champagne...

Very few women have vaginal orgasms, and I'm not one of them.

So that's my parents. I'm pretty sure I'm adopted.

Let's go, Michael.

-Isn't he...? -Yes.

-Can I move in with Michael? -Of course you can't.

-Just testing. -I know, and it was very funny.

-Can he sleep over? -No... Bitten, you're 14.

Wouldn't you prefer us sleeping here than fooling around in some park?

You always said my first time drunk should be at home.

It's not the same. You're not allowed to drink... either.

-That's kinda after the fact. -Martin can't sleep over.

-Michael. -None of them can sleep over.

We can't just let strangers into our house.

You let a stranger into my basement. What do you know about him?

Have you seen the way he looks at Mom? He's such a creep!

-I'm pretty sure he's a homosexual. -What makes you think that?

You can tell.

-Have a nice day, girls. -Bye.

THE LIBRARY

GAY OR NOT?

It was a good idea to move up here. You both feel safer in your own room.

Yes. I've made smoothies.

I know you like that, all you...

... couples therapists.

I've got a feeling I'd like to share with you.

-Sorry, I just thought you said... -I did.

I've realized that I've been jealous.

Not that I'm a jealous guy, but I think I have been.

But I'm not anymore.

-Let's drink to that. -Cheers.

Anders, that's very big of you.

Most men would perceive another man in the house

as a threat to their masculinity.

-Not me. -So you're not jealous anymore?

Not at all. It's gone.

-Jealousy can ruin a relationship. -Oh yes.

There are some ugly examples.

Let's try a little experiment. Let's switch places.

I'm gonna sit here.

-Does my arm around her bother you? -Not the slightest.

-And now? -Nope.

-Feel anything? -Yes.

-No. -Excuse me, but what is going on?

-Anders, don't just sit there and... -It's just an exercise.

No, this is so like you, Anders!

You walk through life like this!

Sorry, was that too loud? Anders thinks I'm too loud.

I used to be a drummer in a band, and that was loud!

You wish you could soundproof me!

Puk, your anger is understandable. Very much so.

But attacking him isn't very constructive.

-No. -Let's try a different exercise. Okay?

Anders, many women want to be taken.

-Women want to be surprised. -Yes.

There are many ways to express your desire for your wonderful woman.

-In words and in action. -Could you be a bit more specific?

Your pussy is so tight and wet. You turn me on, you horny bitch.

Anyway, Anders, let's pretend you take the initiative to make love.

-What would do you do? -I'd...

I'd touch Puk. On her back, maybe.

Or I'd ask, if she wanted to...

Anders, women don't get turned on by men who ask for sex.

I mean, we don't say thanks afterwards, do we?

Puk, how do you go about creating sexual contact?

I snuggle up against Anders.

Sometimes I...

-Puk! -Or like this.

-And then there's the good old... -Fine.

-That's fine for now. Come on out. -Now?

Yes. That's all for now.

I think I'll stay put for a while.

-There's someone there! -Where?

I'm sorry. I just came to borrow the shower.

-The drain's blocked downstairs. -Blocked?

-Yeah, I don't know what's wrong. -Okay.

-Want me to go take a look at it? -No, I'll borrow yours, if it's okay.

Sure. Talk to you later.

-Bye or... bye. -Bye.

-Will you buy drain cleaner, or... -I'll fix it.

You'll do it, okay.

Well, look... I'm not gonna say much.

I'd like to thank you for coming, those of you that don't live here.

-Thanks for having us. -It's great to be here.

Welcome to our little... housewarming/costume party.

I've got roleplaying poker later, okay?

His Royal Highness is leaving shortly. On his horse, that is.

It's no secret that Puk and I have been going through a rough time.

When couples therapy was mentioned, I thought it a bit too alternative for me.

And having the therapist live in our basement was a bit of a mouthful.

But I feel very fortunate. I really do.

To think that you, Ulrik, of all people, moved into our basement.

-It has meant the world to me. To us. -Yes.

Thank you, Ulrik.

-And thank you all for coming, -Thanks for having us.

Cheers.

You look very handsome in your knight's...

All I know is it's a historically correct costume.

And I'm not a knight, I'm King Christian 4.

More wine?

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb.

-It was beautiful. -I always strum when I make coffee.

Why don't you form a band? You could...

Irish coffee, anyone?

No thanks.

Goddamn! I downed it. All the whisky.

-And then we went home... -What the fuck are you doing?

Bo, don't watch teletext. Are you watching teletext?

Bo's watching teletext, for fuck's sake. Say something to me. Something.

Something, something.

I hear you. You're saying something.

Am I right? That's the way it is.

Just strip it down. Ulrik! You just strip it down and say it.

It's that simple. You strip it down.

You get like a gift. Tools. You can drill, screw and...

Goddamn, it's cool! Honey...

I can call you honey, can't I? Shucks!

Thank you for giving me that. Cheers!

All this praise is gonna go to Ulrik's head. Anyway, when Nanna lived...

-Are you trying to pair them up? -I'm trying to have a conversation.

Stop fooling around. Jesus Christ!

I'm really sorry. I bet it happens a lot to a good-looking guy like yourself.

Well, I mean he's... You're...

-You're a homo. -What?

Ulrik is an H.O.M... How does it go?

Bo! Help me out here.

H.O.M.O.

Bo.

Is that true, Ulrik? You're a homosexual?

Not to my knowledge. It's...

-You... -Anders.

Sometimes I desperately want the last 15 years of my life back.

But...

-Well, I'd better be moving on. -Nice seeing you, Bo.

-Good night, Anders. Go to bed. -I have to go too.

See you.

-Have a nice party. -Wanna share a cab?

Oh no. I'm in a hurry.

I think Anders needs to cultivate his masculine acquaintances more.

You guys need to do stuff apart.

-Don't you think so? -Yes.

I dunno. Puk wants me to go.

Only if you're loaded. The meanest high rollers are coming tonight.

-Can't I just watch? -Nope.

It's roleplaying poker, and tonight's theme is the Mafia.

Hello.

-I said the Mafia. -It's all they had.

-Does it... -For fuck's sake, Anders.

Want me to...?

-Thanks. Hi. -Hi.

-I'm making lasagna from scratch. -I'm on my way over to Stina's.

Let's have a night in. I've got fancy ice cream and a movie.

What did you do before you got married? Entertain yourself.

See ya.

Bitten!

-Bitten, be home by 11! -Chill out, Mom.

At the very latest!

-Everything okay? -Puk? How nice.

-Have you eaten? -A little.

-Come on in. -Thanks.

-Would you like a glass of wine? -Yes, please.

-Here you are. -It smells good.

The aim is to win. The ante is 2,200, and you can buy in during the game.

-No limit hold'em. Money? -Sure.

-Who gets it? -Dealer. Table.

No physical contact. On the table in front of the dealer.

Cards. You're in time for this hand.

Geez, you're bad when you don't even have beginner's luck.

-I'm still in. -If you've got money.

-I have at home. -Get off your butt and go get it.

-Can't you lend me some? -My mom already owes me 40,000.

-Bo. -I can't.

-Okay, I'll have to... Can I get up? -Go ahead.

I'll be right back.

Yup. Saddle up.

Thank you, and thank you for a fantastic meal.

-Have I got pork... -You piggy girl.

I'm all... Can I borrow this?

I'm such a pig.

Well, Ulrik...

Puk.

How's the book coming along?

It's a bit tough at the moment.

You lose focus when you're going through a divorce.

-You're going through a divorce? -Yes, my wife and I just broke up.

No!

Yes, so right now your basement is my home, Puk.

You can't be serious, Ulrik.

Oh, Ulrik.

Poor, little, frail, strong, fucking frail Ulrik.

I'm going all in.

-Remember where you got the money. -You'll get it back.

-Call. -Call.

You've got a straight, Anders. You win.

-It's a gentleman's sport, Anders. -And you're a fucking bad loser!

So are you and you and you and you.

-And hi. -We need some fresh air.

Come on.

-Mind your step! Sit down. -Know what, Bo?

My wife is fucking our homosexual couples therapist.

Could be worse. I'm gonna fix us a couple of Mojitos.

Everything will be fine in the morning.

Like wearing a dress, do you?

-Oh dear! I fell. -Whoops. Hi.

Ulrik, I think I'm gonna call it a day.

I'd better... crawl upstairs.

Puk, stay a bit longer.

-You and I are good at... -Communicating?

Yes.

Bitten! Look at the time!

I'm a crappy mom. Puk, goddammit!

The small blind reached 500, and Lucky Luciano is... Shit, Anders!

Bitten?

Sweetie?

Sweetie.

Are you in there?

3 UNANSWERED CALLS

-What's going on? -Anders.

-Let me in. -Puk!

Let me in.

No, no!

-I can't let you in. -It's my house! Let me in.

I can't. Puk expressly asked me not to let you in.

Christ, Anders. What a breach of confidence. All that pain.

Shame on you!

Puk!

-Know him? -No.

-Leave the premises, sir. -They're my premises.

-Leave the premises. -Bitten.

Leave the premises.

Do you know where your daughter has been all night?

-She's my daughter... -No, I don't know where she's been.

I've been looking for her all night and went to my husband's friend's house

where I found my husband with some woman's moustache all over his face!

Anyway, I don't give a damn, as long as she's okay. Okay?

-You might consider... -Thank you.

It was painted on with burnt cork.

Good morning. McArine, me lad. You wearing any undies?

All the wiring needs changing.

Puk!

Caligula? Faster Pussycat Kill Kill?

Are you into tits and ass or skin flicks?

Look, she started it.

I bet she's having clitoris orgasms right now with that sneaky dick!

I thought you boys might like some hot chocolate and fresh rolls.

Don't waste power on hot chocolate, when you still owe me 5,000 in rent!

Scram!

Idiot!

Hi.

Are you okay?

I'm glad you're here.

-I've got a surprise for you. -Oh?

No peeping.

-Ready? Okay. -No!

Oh, Ulrik. You shouldn't have.

-Sing along. -Huh?

-You don't know it? -No...

-Sneakers, Sui Sui. -Okay. It sounds...

Anders loved Sneakers. Loves Sneakers.

-Why can't I talk to him? -You're too vulnerable.

Give it some time.

-Don't you think Anders... -Stop going on about Anders!

You can't trust your feelings. You're in shock.

And when we're in shock, we don't know how we really feel.

-What you need now is distance. -But what about Bitten?

-And the workmen... -Puk.

I'll handle it. Okay?

I think you need to get away from it all.

The house is quiet again after the party

everyone else is asleep while we walk

daybreak casts a blue shade on the horizon

it is blue all around us where we stand

the last of the night owls

fly home one by one

the day begins

the morning wind clears the sky

the road runs out of town to the sea

star after star burns out

and I can feel the warmth

and the smell of your body

in the sand on the beach

while we wait for the sun to rise

and we

we have no words that we have to say

we give no promises that we later will forget

we just want to feel the sun...

I don't fucking believe it!

Shit!

I'm really sorry.

-I'm not allowed to let you in. -Well, I'm in now.

-Yeah, but... -But what?

Anders, what the hell are you doing?

You don't answer your phone, and why have the locks been changed?

-I don't want to see you. -I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

I don't know what happened. I remember kissing her, but then...

Stop! I don't wanna know!

Get out.

Puk, tell me what to do.

I'll do anything. Look at me. Tell me what to do.

-Will you take up therapy again? -Are you insane?

I knew it!

You're as cold as ice. You callous son of a bitch!

Ulrik is right. It takes two to mend a relationship

but I have to mend this on my own, while you bang someone else.

-You're having an affair with Ulrik! -What?

-First he's a homosexual, and now... -I saw you together the other day.

-We were talking about me and you. -Sure, while he groped your ass.

What are you talking about? How low can you go?

You're accusing me of cheating on you, when it's the other way around!

Ulrik is right. I don't need this. Get out!

The drain isn't blocked. I checked. Unless someone...

Please believe me. He's lying!

I want you to keep a video diary.

Don't worry, no one else but you will see it.

I want to talk to him!

-You stole my wife. -This is Mik and Liselotte's session.

-I want my life back. -And we're working on it. Excuse me.

-Come on. -Let go of me!

Don't listen to him.

-What do you want? -Move out. You've got an hour.

Is that why you came charging in? Listen to me.

I'm not taking anything. You're giving it away.

I see it all the time. Pathetic husbands who don't see what their wives need.

Puk deserves better. I'm going to finish up here.

-And then I'm gonna take her. -Take her? Where?

I'm gonna take her, Anders. Make love to her.

You can't.

Hi.

How are you holding out?

I talked to Anders today, so...

Wasn't I right? Didn't seeing him make matters worse?

Yes.

Good choice.

Anne Linnet!

Or... no, Anne Salomonsen. Sanne Salomonsen!

Damn! Can I offer you a drink?

-How about a beer? -Yeah, two beers.

It was really nice.

Sweet, fantastic, beautiful and absolutely wonderful Puk.

You're far too good for him.

-Hot! -You sure are.

No, the tea!

-I'm going over to Michael's. -No, you're staying here, young lady.

You're gonna sleep here!

I've been kicked out. I'm good for nothing.

I can't read all the little signs. I can't even read the big ones.

I asked you to pack up and go.

But I was wrong, I know.

Now I know what to say. Please come home and stay.

That's Anne Linnet.

Maybe your wife is thinking just that at this very moment.

Don't forget love. It makes the world go around.

That's easy for you to say. You're Sanne Salomonsen.

I'm just a pathetic man

who can't give my wife what she needs.

-Says who? -My couples therapist.

-So you're just giving up? -No, you misunderstand.

I'm never giving up.

I'm just the quiet before the storm.

-That's you... -That was Lis Sørensen's song.

Go back to your wife and show her how much you love her.

-It usually works. -But... Listen, Sanne Salomonsen.

I'll do anything to get cock... Puk back.

Okay, don't be the quiet before the storm.

Be the storm.

Sanne... wait.

Anders, where the hell have you been?

-What have you been up to? -Where?

I met Sanne.

Sanne who?

Sanne Salomonsen.

-I've got a plan. -Wanna waste Ulrik?

We need a carton of milk, a large black pen... or green.

24 eggs, organic or free-range will do.

Five bags of thickly sliced bread and a stereo.

-What kind? A mini? -It just has to be loud.

And two rockets with short fuses.

-Any kind of rockets? Wheels? -Can you fix it?

-What are we going to do? -Create a storm.

GAY OR NOT?

-It's hard to break the news... -Anyone home?

-No, they went swimming. -Riding.

-That was yesterday. -Aren't they at work?

It's called grief management, Anders.

-So you're a... -Ulrik helped me find the real me.

-I hope you're not... -You're not my type.

-Is there anything wrong with me? -Not at all.

You have to go now. Leave. You can't stay.

-See? I'm hardly out of the closet... -Bye.

-I'm fed up. -Rightly so.

Michael, you're staying.

Up the stairs.

-Why couldn't I go home by myself? -It was nice of Ulrik to pick you up.

Be happy, okay?

Time has run out

and we go our separate ways

we may never meet again

I don't need this.

I won't ask anymore

I don't expect a thing

I only want to be

where you are

-Want to go on a safari? -What?

Just the two of us. Three weeks in Kenya. It's booked and paid for.

-What? -It'd be great. No more "what's."

Just the two of us. I'll be right back.

Anders.

Next time you try to impress a girl with fireworks, wait till after dark.

Or New Year's, you idiot!

-So, did it work? -Don't provoke him.

Go!

There now.

You've been through a lot.

Let's you and I go away and get some R&R.

When we return, the house will be finished.

-He's made breakfast. -He's made French toast.

Whoa!

Get out!

Hey, Anders. Listen to me.

We're adults.

Anders, I'm gonna go now, okay?

Hi.

Before you beat my dad to a pulp, just know your basement's on fire.

-Fire! -Kierkegaard!

Bitten, darling... Daddy's got a handle on it.

Anders, the house is on fire. Come on, Anders.

-Can't you walk? -Sure.

-I've got you. -I love you.

Bitten!

I'm moving in with Michael.

Subtitles: Helle Schou Kristiansen