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* Father

* Listen to me

* I'm a lot like you

* I must live my life
and live it true

* Like you said
you have to do

* Mother

* Listen to me

* There's so much to tell

* It's important
that you listen well

* When the pain...

Put me down, you idiots!

(EXCLAIMS)

ALL: (CHANTING) Go, Tomanski!

I'm almost there...

Hey! Hey, Tomanski!

You don't take no crap
from no rich kids, huh!

(EXCLAIMING)

Monica, bring home a diploma,
or bring home a husband.

The richer the better.

But don't get pregnant.

Have a little more
faith in me than that,
Aunt Lorraine.

I'm not you.

ALL: (CHANTING) Go, Tomanski!

I'll miss you, Monica.

Oh, I love you, sweetheart.

-You be careful, okay?
-Okay.

-Who's your buddy?
-You.

Yeah. Who's your buddy?

* Knowing love is all

* I am in you

* And you are in me

* Through each other's eyes

* We see

* Listen to me

(DOG BARKING)

* Hold me

* I will hold you

* Listen to me
while I speak my heart

* You can talk to me

* We're all looking
for a place to start

* Where we tell
the truth again

* Tell the truth again

* Love me

* Listen to me,
life is not that long

* And we don't have time
to get it wrong

* Let's believe
and let's begin

* Let's begin

* Won't you listen to me

* For we know how we fall

MAN: Come on, Tucker.

I got to get these
chickens to the market.

Hey, Pop, (CLEARS THROAT)
I got something for you.

You shouldn't spend
your money on me.

Hey, come on. Open it up.
It's no big deal.

* And you are in me

* Through each other's eyes

* We see

* Just how good our lives

* Could be

* Through each other's eyes

* We see

* Listen to me

* Listen to me

* Listen to me

Excuse me, can you tell me
where the administration...

Thanks a lot, buddy.

Excuse me, can you tell me
where the administration
building...

Yeah, it's over by the
ice hockey rink over there.

-Ice... Thanks!
-Yeah, no problem.

(BAND PLAYING MUSIC)

TUCKER: Excuse me, uh...
Pardon me.

Could you tell me
where the ice hockey rink is?

MAN: Yeah, it's over
by the pool hall.

TUCKER: Hey, thanks.

(CHEERLEADERS CHEERING)

TUCKER: Excuse me,
could you tell me where
the pool hall is?

No, but maybe I can recommend
a nice clothing store?

-Nathan, you're mean.
-Look at his hat!

It's not that bad.
He's probably from the south.

Well, I don't know.
Look at his haircut.

(ENGINE REVS)

(HORN HONKS)

Hey, surfer man!

I'll see you in the dorm.

-Gar!
-Hi, Gar!

How you doin'?

Hey, hey Christine.

I don't suppose
any of you would tell me

where the administration
building is.

-GARSON: Yo! Master debaters.
-That's what I thought.

-Number one.
-GARSON: The
inscrutable Mr. Chin.

How was your summer?

GARSON: It was all right.
How was yours?

Great. Just great.

Come on, guys.
Help him with his things.

-Hey, girls.
-GIRLS: Hi!

How was your summer?

We have to talk
about our summers.

How about some extra gravy
with those mashed potatoes?

Can I have some carrots, too?
I'm starving.

Anything your heart desires,
just ask.

-I'm the man.
-I'll remember that.

There you go.

Well, boy,
looks like you could use
all the fuel you can get.

Hey, man. Thanks.

Better stop giving away
the extra helpings.

-The cook's
got his eye on you.
-TUCKER: Oh, thanks.

-Here, help me with this.
-Right.

Okay.

-Oh.
-There we go.

Tucker Muldowney,
Watonga, Oklahoma.

-Monica, Chicago.
-Hi.

Watonga?

Yeah, well, the reason
you haven't heard of it is

'cause I haven't made it
famous yet.

-I think you're serious.
-I am.

See, I'm here
on a debate scholarship,

and they only give out
two a year, you know?

-Really?
-No talking in the ranks.

Dishwasher duty. Move it.

(TUCKER SIGHS)

How may I help you?

TUCKER: Not too
many people know this,

but 88% of our congressmen
and senators

were all in their college
debate teams.

You want to go into politics?

Well, actually,
it's my intention

to become the President
of the United States one day.

But I don't tell
too many people about that.

Of course not.

-So you here
on scholarship, too?
-You got it.

-What for?
-Debate.

You're Tomanski?

You're supposed
to be brilliant.

(STAMMERS)

Look, uh, I'm sorry about...

I feel really stupid.

Hey, boss!

My name's Tucker.

Nice guy.

It's gonna be fun.

(MOANING)

(DOOR OPENING)

MIA: Who's that? Who's he?

Oh, boy, uh...

Um, I'm your roommate,

but I can leave
and come back later.

No, it's cool. Come on in.

Come on, Gar.

I was almost there.

What's one last orgasm in your
life on me?

Next to the threat of war
in the Middle East,

-how much does
that really matter?
-(GIGGLES)

MIA: Well, can't we go back
to my room and finish?

You have to
finish by yourself.

-I have to meet
my new roommate.
-(MIA SIGHS)

Hey, uh, Gar...

How about I get Tasha
and come back?

-GARSON: Goodbye, Mia.
-Tasha?

-Bye.
-(MUMBLES).

That, uh...
That going all the time?

Welcome to Kenmont.

Tucker Muldowney.
Pleased to meet you.

-Garson McKellar.
-Hi.

How do you possibly find time
to study in this place?

Coach Nichols says
you're terrific.

I've been trying to figure out
if he set us up as roommates

for your sake or mine.

Are you kidding?
You're the best.

You know, I have studied
all your big debates on video.

And for a long time,
I copied your style

right down to a gnat's ass.

What kind of style
do you have now?

Well, I'm kind of working
on my own thing.

It's lots of home-spun candor,

my best Southern drawl,

but it's still
a long, long way

from your league, believe me.

Oh, is that what you mean by
"home-spun candor"?

To me, it sounded like
good old false modesty.

You came here to
knock me off my pedestal,

didn't you, country boy?

(LAUGHS)

All right.

All right.

SCHWIMMER:
If at UCLA or Notre-Dame

the hero of the hour
is the football coach,

our hero is a man

most of you know
simply as Charlie.

I give you

the winningest debater
in collegiate history,

the man who has
coached Kenmont

to seven conference titles
in 12 years,

Professor Charlie Nichols.

(ALL CHEERING)

Whoa!

TUCKER: Coming through.
Excuse me.

Sorry.

Hi. Sorry, I'm late.

Atilla made me stay and
clean the meat locker.

Tucker Muldowney, Donna Lumis.

-Hey, how you doin'?
-Nice to meet you.

(AUDIENCE HOOTING)

Well, it's nice to be loved.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

And I should like to warn you.

A debate, as practice here,
is rougher than football.

-CROWD: Ooh!
-Meaner than ice hockey.

CROWD: Yeah!

Much more strenuous
than wrestling.

(CROWD LAUGHING)

And because women
can play at it

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

just as down and dirty
as the men,

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

it's probably the scariest,
most fascinating sport

on the face of the planet.

-(CROWD CHEERING)
-Let's debate.

(AUDIENCE HOOTING)

Resolved. That sex education

should not be taught
in our public schools.

-(FEW PEOPLE CHEERING)
-Resolved!

That condoms
should never be sold

on our high school
and college campuses.

-(PEOPLE BOOING)
-(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

Resolved. That abstinence
is the best way to avoid AIDS.

(CROWD CHEERING)

The affirmative will prove
that the institution

best suited to educating
our nation's youth about sex

is the family.

(CROWD BOOING)

And when the schools attempt
to meddle in these matters,

they are, in fact,
promoting promiscuity

and undermining the values
of our nation.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I hate this school.

It's a bunch of Cretans
and Neanderthals and boobs.

These have the special
reservoir tip.

Who am I talking to?
Why am I even talking to you?

Hey. Hey, now, watch this.
McKellar is the best.

Personally, I think
he's even better than

Lloynd and Shields
from Harvard.

So let me understand
your position.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Are you telling us
that high school
and college students

should abstain
from having sex?

SUSAN: Yes.

-(CROWD BOOING)
-(GARSON CHUCKLES)

So when the hormones
start throbbing

and some young adolescent
starts feeling, uh...

-Horny!
-(ALL LAUGHING)

Okay, horny!

What're you suggesting
they do, Susan?

What do you mean?

Choke the chicken,

slap the dolphin,
bleed the lizards,

-(CROWD CHEERING)
-spank the monkey!

Yes, yes,
that's what I'm saying.

If you need to, then...

Masturbate.

(CROWD BOOING)

Susan, do you masturbate?

-(CROWD LAUGHING)
-I, uh, um... Well...

It's really none of your
business. Do you?

-As rarely as possible.
-(CROWD CHEERING)

SUSAN: Mr. McKellar,
you are revolting.

I know. Isn't that awful?

(CROWD LAUGHING)

Susan,
is abstinence realistic?

In light of the recent report
"AIDS In The Year 2000,"

that over one-third
of our nation's teenagers

are regularly engaging
in sexual intercourse.

You guys might want to
read that.

-(CROWD LAUGHING)
-Is it realistic when we know

that after homosexuals,
intravenous drug users,
and hemophiliacs,

that teenagers are the highest
risk group for AIDS.

Of course, it's realistic.
Nuns do it all the time.

(CROWD LAUGHING)

Uh, they abstain,
I mean to say.

But teenagers do not.

Research proves

that teenagers are
as sexually inquisitive
as they've always been,

and that the only way
to protect them

is by giving them information

and providing them
with immediate access
to protection.

(CROWD CHEERING)

No, no! Wait a moment.

No. This sounds as if
he's saying

it's okay for them to be
as promiscuous as they want.

No. No, Susan, that's
not what I'm saying at all.

All I'm saying is

light is better than darkness,

knowledge is better
than ignorance.

And it's our duty, isn't it,

to make sure that
the young people
of our great nation

don't die?

(CROWD CHEERING)

(WHISTLING)

Hey, you know, Monica,
I'm gonna go call my folks.

-Okay.
-So, uh, I'll see ya.

My pleasure. Take care.

-Bye, guys.
-Bye-bye.

Hey, what do you say
you let me buy you
a cup of coffee.

-Come on.
-I can't. I have to study.

Chicago,
what are you afraid of?

I'm not afraid of anything.

I just can't date
until I'm sure I can
handle the work load.

I'm sorry.

(STUDENTS CHATTERING)

-You were really good today.
-Thanks.

You're welcome.

Charlie, please,
nobody's trying to
put you on the spot here.

We all know how tough
the conference is.

My God, Charlie,
we finished second
at the pass two seasons.

Nobody's implying
you have slipped,

but we all wanna be
back on top, don't we?

You win the conferences here,

Gar could be debating
for a national title

in front of the Supreme Court
this spring.

And my media people tell me

there's gonna be
national network coverage.

Charlie, you know
what that means?

CHARLIE: Yeah, it means
your son's face will be known
to half the homes in America

before he even goes
to law school.

-61.9% of homes.
-(LAUGHING)

Senator, listen, I'd kill
for a national title,

but I don't think your son can
pull that miracle off alone.

We got some terrific kids
on scholarship.

Maybe this will be our year,
maybe it won't.

Coach, just tell me
you believe we can do it.

Charlie, you know
we can do it, don't you?

We can do it.

-Good man.
-(CHUCKLING)

Charlie, I owe you, uh...

Well, I owe you a big thanks

for taking Gar
under your wing like that.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Your son and I
are good friends, but, uh,

the last time I looked
in the mirror,

-I'm sure as hell
didn't see any wings.
-(CHUCKLES)

SENATOR:
I wouldn't be surprised

if you try to bolter
Gar one more time

before he graduates.

I did.

Politics

is a very scary legacy
to inherit.

We all try to run from it
as long as we can.

CHARLIE: All right.

When I call your name

come down and pick
a subject out of this hat.

Be prepared to speak
for five minutes.

Remember that we are
restricted to a team of 30.

With 15 returning debaters,

that means there's
only 15 open slots.

(AUDIENCE MURMURING)

"Should criminal lawyers

"defend clients they
believe are lying?"

Definitely not.

This kind
of personal dishonesty

is destroying the very fabric
of the legal profession.

It puts dangerous criminals
back on the streets

where they can steal,
and rape, and kill again,

but worst of all, it erodes
our faith in justice.

Now take the other side.

It doesn't matter
if you're guilty or innocent,

you have an inalienable right
to legal counsel,

and a lawyer has a duty
to provide it.

To take away this right

because some lawyer has come
to some personal conclusion

about the guilt of his client

is to deny that person
due process of law.

(STUDENTS CHEERING)

All right, Chicago!

I am here today, my friends,

to urge you to bring back
public hangings.

(STUDENTS CHEERING)

No, seriously,
ladies and gentlemen,

how else are we going
to scare our criminals

into leaving us alone,
unless we play for keeps?

I can see it.

Hangings on TV,
the Friday night
hanging of the week.

-Seriously.
-(STUDENTS CHUCKLING)

I mean, close-ups
on their faces,

-the instant their neck snap.
-(STUDENTS LAUGHING)

Cutaways
to their children's faces,

extreme close-ups
of the spittle drooling

from the lips of the
dearly departed. (CHUCKLES)

Now, Hugh, uh, as you can see

the color is draining rapidly
from the face and the legs

which stopped jerking
spasmodically,

and their eyes
have glazed over.

Yes, Barbra, you're right,

but we'll have to wait for the
celebrity coroner of the week

to tell us
if he's officially dead.

(STUDENTS APPLAUDING)

Ms. Lumis, your resume
tells me that in high school

you had some success
as a public speaker.

But I should have to warn you
that on the college circuit,

we don't give any points
on sympathy.

No, I don't expect
any sympathy.

All the handicapped I know,
Ms. Lumis, thrive on sympathy.

Why should you be different?

Because I don't
think of myself

as handicapped or crippled.

This happened
when I was eight.

I couldn't sit upright
for four years.

-I shattered my hip, man.
-Uh, Ms. Lumis...

No, and I was in
a full-body cast

for the first year and a half.

And my doctor said I'd never
recover any feeling in my leg.

Ms. Lumis...

I lifted weights,

and I worked out with
a therapist in a hot pool

80 hours a week,
for seven years,

and the feeling came back,
all of it.

(CANE CLATTERS)

Be careful...

No, you be careful. I'm fine.

I'll walk again,
normally, someday,

and I'll ride a horse again,

and maybe I'll even
dance again someday.

So, don't you

or any of the rest of you here
feel sorry for me,

because I won't
fucking stand for it.

(STUDENTS CHEERING)

What this little
piece of paper says

is character is destiny.

Now what that means
to this chicken farmer's son

from Watonga, Oklahoma,

is this.

There comes a moment
in everybody's life

when they choose
their character.

You never know when
that moment's gonna come.

It could be when you're 15

or when you're 50.

Let's just say somebody drops
a $10 bill right in your path,

and there's nobody there
to hold you accountable

but you and your maker.

What do you do?

You pocket it, or do you chase
after the guy who dropped it?

Whatever you decide to do
in that moment,

you may well have chosen
your character for life,

and thus, your destiny.

There was this kid from
my school who was so poor

that he had to make his shoes
out of old tires.

And his clothes were by
that famous designer

Goodwill.

His diet was so deficient,

that he developed rickets

his freshman year
of high school.

He took to stealing money

out of payphones
and parking meters.

But he got caught one day,

and spent most
of his sophomore year

in the juvenile
detention facility.

The shrink said
he was incorrigible,

but he came back to school
his junior year

and pulled the highest marks
in his class.

When he graduated,
he was snapped up

by one of the best colleges
in the country.

Full-boat scholarship,
all the trimmings.

Tell me, country boy,

how'd he make this big change?

One dark night,

in a smelly cage
full of animals,

he decided to stop listening
to all the negative voices

and all the negative people,

and started believing that his
own potential was infinite.

-(MUSIC PLAYING)
-(CROWD CHATTERING)

-BRUCE: Hey, guys.
-Hey.

-Hi.
-You were great.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Can I buy you
a burger or something?

-Sure, absolutely.
-Great.

MAN: All right, everybody,
place your bets.

Turtle race is about to start.

Come on, let's go.

MAN: Come on, everybody,
place your bets.

Everybody's a winner.

Good shot.

-GARSON: Hey,
you guys thirsty?
-Yeah.

Mia, Tasha,
what is that back there?

Hey, Gar, come back here.

Hey, you want some
of this action?

Uh, yeah!

MAN: Midnite Blues, 5 to 1.

Yeah, all right.
Put it all on number two.

I'll be at Garson's table.

MAN: Come on, don't be
afraid to place your bets.

(YELLING) Go, baby, go!

Atta-turtle, atta-turtle.

There is no commode.

Hey, Charlie was right.
You guys are terrific.

I mean, you've got something
this place really needs.

Yeah, strong backs.

No, I was going to say heart.

Maybe what you think is heart
is just working-class hunger.

Yeah, that's part of it.

(CHUCKLING)
You guys are both hungry.

-One question, roomie.
-Hmm?

How do you make
shoes out of old tires?

It was you, wasn't it?

Come on, did you
go to reform school?

Yeah, I did some time.
So what?

What was it like?

Look, I really don't want
to talk about it, all right?

Okay, I'm sorry,
I was just curious.

So, um...

What kind of sports
do you like?

Well, actually, my favorite is

killing spiders
with the tip of my cane.

-That's a joke, right?
-Yeah, that's a joke.

(CHUCKLES) Hey,
come on, let's dance.

No, Bruce, you're
not paying attention.

I know I came across really
ballsy today at tryouts,

but if you're looking
for a dancing partner...

No, come on. You said you
want to dance again someday...

Yeah, right, someday. Not now.

Whoa. Why are you
being so defensive?

I'm sorry.

It's just this whole scene,

all these people,
I'm not used to it.

I'm sorry, um, I should've
been more sensitive.

-I'm just not used
to being around a...
-Yeah, right.

I mean, um...

Hey, listen, I don't think
this is gonna work out.

Okay? It's cool.

-Donna, I'm sorry, I...
-Excuse me.

(SHRIEKING) Ouch!

-(STRUMMING GUITAR)
-Yeah, right.

MONICA: I gotta get to
the library before it closes.

I've been here only a week,

and I feel like I'm already
a month behind.

Oh, talk to me. I've got
an English lit paper
due in the morning,

and I haven't even
started it yet.

Come on, a couple of
smart cookies like you two,

should be able to phone it in
a pool of "B"s in this place.

No, we both have to pull
straight "A"s.

"B"s won't get us
a scholarship into law school.

I've got news for both of you.

You start winning the debate,
and I can get you names

of 100 firms who'd gladly pay
your way through law school.

And they'll make sure
you get accepted, too,

regardless of your GPA.

Who are these people?

Political interest groups

who are looking for
a future legal partner,

a lobbyist for the
National Rifle Association,

maybe even a future JFK.

So, when you're ready to sell
your soul to the devil,

you just let me know.

(SNIGGERS)

(CHUCKLES)

(ENGINE RUMBLING)

Where the hell have you been?

I have been creating
the new Garson McKellar.

I spent the whole summer
at the typewriter.

(GRUNTS)

Read 'em when you can,
you know?

-No rush or anything.
-Ah.

I got news for you, Gar.

This is gonna be
the big year for us.

Charlie, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

I'm not too sure
if I should debate anymore.

Oh, God. (SIGHS)

Do I have to put up with
this shit every September?

But just listen.

If I really wanna be a writer,

if I really wanna tell
my old man to shove it,

I gotta stand up to him
right now, right?

Look, your old man
is one thing,

debate is something else.

Is it?

Debate is a road straight
into law school and politics.

Better I do,
the less chance I have

of convincing him
I'm serious about my writing.

How do you just
walk away from debate?

Because I don't love it
like you, Charlie.

What would you say
if I told you

that you could be debating

in front of the Supreme Court
this spring

on network television,

to decide the first true
national championship
in 15 years?

That wouldn't excite you
just a little bit?

Just a little bit?

No, not really.

What's the issue?

Abortion.

The enemy team's
debating abortion, too?

I thought
you weren't interested.

I wouldn't mind a shot
at Lloynd and Shields.

I'd love to knock those
egotistical bastards

off their
holy little mountain.

Now you're talking. (LAUGHS)

(STUDENTS CHATTERING)

You guys wanna know the
resolution you'll be debating
over the next three months?

ALL: Yeah!

I thought you might.

Be it resolved,

that abortion is immoral.

Hey, that's great.
It's about time.

Well, this is the year for it.

That's all they're talking
about back in Washington.

The Supreme Court is split
right down the middle.

-Coach, I'm kinda confused...
-Now, there's a surprise.

(STUDENTS LAUGHING)

(TALKING GIBBERISH)

No, no, really,

the affirmative is,
uh, is against

and the negative
is for abortion?

I know. It sounds
like it should be

just the other way around.

But the affirmative
will be trying to prove

that the Supreme Court ruling,

giving women the right
to abortions,

should be overturned.

The negative
will be trying to prove

that it should not
be overturned.

-You got it?
-Yeah.

Good.

What's the name
of that ruling?

BRAITHWAITE: Uh, Roe v. Wade.

Very good, Braithwaite.

Now, which side looks like
the easier one to defend?

-The negative.
-CHARLIE: Why?

Because nobody today,

no educated, thinking people
believe abortion's wrong,

only religious fanatics,
like my parents.

Uh, I have to disagree, sir.

You know, there are tons
of arguments that it's wrong,

and it's not just stuff
from the Bible.

I mean, some folks
back where I come from

feel pretty strongly
that it's a form of murder.

Only shit-kicker conservatives

believe that crap
about murder.

(ALL MURMURING)

Oh, yeah? Well, that's
just what I am, baby,

a shit-kicker conservative.

-Yeah.
-TUCKER: And what are you?

You know, just so women

can have their cake
and eat it, too,

they'll go off and kill

millions of little
unborn kids.

Haven't you ever heard
of pro-life?

Haven't you ever heard
of the women's movement?

Yeah, but I wish I hadn't.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

All right. All right.
All right. All right.
All right. All right.

Let's divide up the research.

What do you know about...

-Oh.
-Edwin Arlington Robinson?

Garson. (CHUCKLES)

Well, I didn't know that you
were interested in poetry.

Oh, yeah.

Anybody who can teach me
how to be a better writer.

Listen to this. See if it
reminds you of anyone.

"Whenever Richard Cory
went downtown,

"we people on the pavement
looked at him.

"He was a gentleman
from sole to crown,

"clean favored,
and imperially slim.

"And he was rich,
yes, richer than a king.

"And admirably schooled
in every grace.

"In fine,

"we thought that
he was everything

"to make us wish
that we were in his place."

It's you. (CHUCKLES)

"So, on we worked
and waited for the light.

"And went without the meat,

"and cursed the bread.

"And Richard Cory,

"one calm summer night,

"went home and put a bullet
through his head."

Wanna have dinner
with me tonight?

I can't. I have to work.

(CHUCKLES)

I wanna know
what it feels like

to really care for a girl.

-Take Monica.
-(COUGHS)

What makes a girl
like that tick?

You're interested in Monica?

She's just an example.

Do you wanna be
really in love someday?

Of course. Doesn't everybody?

How will you know it's love
and not the usual bullshit?

Well it's...

It's the same way you know
if you're steak is good

or if the lobster's fresh.

You trust your senses.

(CHUCKLES)

What would you say
if I told you

that I could get us both laid
in about 60 minutes?

You know, you're crazy.
(SCOFFS)

-You talk about love...
-Yes or no?

I have to make a phone call.

Well, I gotta be to work
in the next 10 minutes.

Not if I arrange otherwise.

You can get me out of working?

(CHUCKLES)

Hey! Stop you party animals,
take me back to
that champagne!

-Whoo-hoo!
-Yeah!

(ALL SHOUTING)

WOMAN: Oh Tucker,
you're so strong.

Put me down.

(SCREAMING)

Tucker, put me down!

Put me down!

GARSON: As my good buddy
Dostoyevsky once said,

"Eat drink and eat drink."

-(GARSON LAUGHING)
-(SCREAMING)

TUCKER: On the count of three,
switch you're horses!

(SCREAMING)

(CHATTERING)

BOY: Are you
gonna do it or what?

GIRL: Oh, yeah.

Will you stop it!

Sorry. Little affectionate.

-Back off.
-Sorry.

Got excited.

-Professor Nichols.
-Ms. Tomanski.

I don't wanna be
Tucker's debate partner.

Yeah, well, I don't think
I wanna be your
partner either.

Coach, you know,
we'd probably just end up

debating each other
instead of our opponents.

Maybe.

Maybe it'll make you
a better team.

Muldowney, you should be the
big gun on the affirmative.

Tomanski, you should
spearhead the negative.

But I was really hoping
you'd team me

with one of the more
experienced debaters.

I mean, this way we could be
stuck in novice all season.

Look, you place
in the tournament,

I'll move you up to juniors.

You win there,
I'll bump you up to open.

(MONICA SIGHS)

Now, get out of here.
Both of you.

MONICA: Terrific.
Now what do we do?

We debate together, I guess.

Hey, look, I wanted
a hot-shot partner, too.

Now, I'm gonna have
to carry you all season.

Carry me? Nobody
ever has to carry me.

-I was joking.
-Especially a man.

Why is everything such a
political crusade with you?

MONICA: I didn't mean it
that way, Tucker.

It's just that I had
such high hopes

of getting off
to a good start.

Darling, you're off
to a great start.

You're with me.

Maybe we can even
turn out to be a good team.

Provided we get it straight
upfront who's boss.

A joke. A joke.

MONICA: Okay, we have to
decide who's second speaker,

and that's no joke.

I should be second speaker

because I've had more
debating experience.

I think I should be second

because I'm the
better speaker.

Do you honestly believe that?

Hey, I agree, you're great,

but the old wrap-up
is my specialty.

I mean, I can always
put my audience

right where I want 'em.

This ridiculous.

I can't wait till we start
writing our case.

All right, let's compromise.

-You be the last speaker
on the negative...
-Hi Al.

And I'm the last
on the affirmative.

Okay, I guess that'll work.

See, I'm not so hard
to get along with.

You just better do
you're share of the research.

Hey now, do I look
like a slacker?

Mmm-hmm.

Oh, now, what was that for?

Look, nobody said we had to
like or respect each other.

And what is that
supposed to mean?

If you wanna date
the scuzziest girls
in the school,

that's your business.

Oh, you heard about that, huh?

(IMITATING OTHER GIRL)
"Oh, Tucker, you're so strong,

"put me down. Stop. Oh."

You know, maybe
you didn't learn as much

in reform school
as you thought.

To me, you still look like
a pretty flaky character.

Hey now,
just wait a damn minute.

You know, if you would
just stop acting like
a Vestal Virgin

and go out with me

then maybe I wouldn't
have to resort to these

desperate, life-threatening
alternatives.

-Please.
-I mean, if you look
at this empirically,

you'd see that
this is all your fault.

I was wondering,
what do you do for Garson

in return for
his little favors?

* Wop bop a loo bop
a lop bom bom!

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Wop bop a loo bop
a lop bom bom!

* I got a girl, named Sue

* She knows just what to do

* I got a girl, named Sue

* She knows just what to do

* She rock to the east,
she rock to the west

* But she is the girl
that I love best

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti
Ooo!

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Wop bop a loo bop
a lop bom bom!

* I got a girl, named Daisy

* She almost drives me crazy

* Got a girl, named Daisy

* She almost drives me crazy

* She knows how to love me,
yes indeed

* Boy, you don't know
what she do to me

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti
Ooo!

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Wop bop a loo bop!

* Ow!

* Oh! Tutti frutti, oh rutti

* Tutti frutti, oh rutti

These aren't clean.
Do 'em again, Tomanski.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

So, um, you going home
for the holidays?

-I can't afford it. You?
-I can't afford it either.

I wish I could just
fly away from here,

do nothing for
two solid weeks,

except be irresponsible.

Uh, hey, since we don't
have to work dinner, um,

maybe you wanna come over
to my place afterward?

I thought maybe we could
order in a pizza

or, uh, listen to some music.

You've never seen our room.
It is like a five-star hotel.

Oh, you'll love it.

Well, what do you think?

This here is our computer.
It cost about five grand.

And this is the sound system,
cost about another five grand.

And, um, right over there
is the life cycle.

Cost about two grand.

Here you go.

Is that your champagne or his?

What difference does it make?

It's his, of course,
but he doesn't care.

How do you know?
Did you ever ask him?

No, but he could've
said something anytime.

He likes to share his things,
it makes him feel good.

Did he say that?

No, but you can tell
he gets off on it.

We'll have to pay him back.

I won't drink any of this
unless you agree to pay half.

Are you out of your mind?

You know, a bottle of
this stuff runs over 20 bucks.

If I don't teach you anything
else in this life, Muldowney,

I'm gonna teach you this.
Now, come on, cough it up.

Come on, dig real deep.

-(SCOFFS) You're serious?
-I'm serious.

-You're serious.
-Yes.

Oh, I can't believe this.

-And $10. Here you go.
-Yes, yes. Good boy.

Believe me, you'll feel
a lot better for doing this.

No, I won't.
That $10 was for the pizza.

We'll manage.
Now, what shall we toast to?

Oh, I know!

To being the number three team
on the squad.

Well, couldn't you come up
with something

a little more romantic?

Live with it.

-Monica.
-Uh...

(SIGHS) Why won't you
go out with me?

Told you, I have
to put my studies

ahead of everything else.

You sure it doesn't have
anything to do with Garson?

What do you mean?

Well, for a little ol' gal

from the south side
of Chicago,

that would seem like
a much better catch

than some poor
chicken farmer's son.

You really have a chip on
your shoulder, don't you?

Hey, how am I
supposed to feel?

Okay, okay, if it
isn't Garson, then...

Then why are you
so standoffish?

I mean, look at you.
You're sitting so far away.

I'd have to mail you a letter
just to make contact.

I'm like this
with everyone, Tucker.

I know, but, but why?

I mean, did I do
something? Why?

Because that's who I am.

Listen, I knew
this was a mistake.

Have a great Christmas
break, Tucker, okay?

Damn!

(SHOUTING) What? Huh?
What? What do you want?

(MONICA SNIFFLES)

How about just
a simple hug, Chicago?

You look like
somebody who needs one.

Yeah, well, knowing you,

there's got to be a trick
in there somewhere, right?

Trust me.

This place is so hard.

Sometimes I think
I'm not gonna make it.

Of course,
you're gonna make it.

You're just tired, that's all.

How much you're working on

with about five
hours of sleep.

-That's what I think.
-Four.

Unless that boy
on the first floor

is working on his lats,

I'd say you're shaking.

(SOBBING) Shut up, okay?
I'm sort of liking this.

Oh.

I'm sorry,
did I interrupt something?

Oh, no, you didn't
interrupt anything.

Tucker and I
were studying. Um...

We borrowed a bottle
of champagne

but we wanted
to pay you for it.

So, here, and I'll...

Forget about it.
I'm glad you're here.

I was just heading home
in a couple of hours.

How would you guys
like to come spend
the holidays with me?

(TUCKER AND MONICA CHUCKLING)

Is that a yes?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

* Let's dance in style,
let's dance for a while *

TUCKER: Hey,
how fast we going?
GARSON: 80.

At 95, the turbos will cut in
and she'll lay rubber.

Don't you dare!

-(WHOOPING)
-Oh, man!

Oh, man, if my dad
could see me now.

Hey, I don't suppose
you let anybody else
drive this, do ya?

-You could drive it.
-Yeah?

You're not serious, are you?

-Yeah, I'm serious.
Chickenman can drive.
-(TUCKER EXCLAIMS)

Yeah, the Chickenman
can drive.

* Can you imagine
when this race is won?

* Turn our golden faces
into the sun

* Praising our leaders,
we're getting in tune

* The music's played by the,
the madman *

TUCKER: Ah.

-MONICA: Are you nuts?
-I trust the Chickenman.

Yeah, he trusts
the Chickenman. (LAUGHING)

I'm gonna walk.

You know, I like
walking down the beach...

-Sit down!
-Sit down!

* Forever, and ever

-* Forever young
-(TIRES SQUEALING)

* I want to be forever young

* Do you really want
to live forever?

* Forever, and ever

* Forever young

* I want to be forever young

* Do you really want
to live forever? *

Merry Christmas.

MRS. MCKELLER:
Hi, Merry Christmas.

-(KISSES)
-MRS. MCKELLER:
Good to see you.

Meet some friends of mine,
Monica and Tucker.

-Hi.
-Nice to meet you.

SENATOR: Monica, Tucker.

-Hi.
-MONICA: Hi.

SENATOR: Well, you two
look like the real thing.

Gar used to bring home
such phonies.

-(LAUGHING)
-Thank you, Dad.

Well, thanks. You've got
a beautiful home here.

Reminds me a lot of my own.

Really?
What are the similarities?

Exact some color.

* Forever young

* I want to be forever young

* Do you really want
to live forever? *

I'll tell you
who the best President
of the United States was.

Harry S. Truman.

Now, nobody owned him.

-He gave the finger to...
-Harry did that?

Uh, excuse me, ma'am.

Talk to me just as you'd talk
to any other man, Tucker.

(MONICA CHUCKLING)

Well, he gave the finger

to all the special
interest groups.

The Unions, Congress,
everybody.

His only allegiance
was to the people.

So, um, is either of you

considering a career
in politics?

I am, sir.

(CHUCKLES)

What about you, Monica?

Well, I never gave it
much thought, ma'am,

but I see now that I might
have to go into politics

to save the world from him.

(SENATOR LAUGHING)

Gar, looks like you got
a little competition.

Dad, I'm sorry,

but I don't want to follow
the family tradition.

I wanna start
a whole new tradition.

I'm writing a play.

It's sort of a comic expose
of political life.

My plans are,
if Charlie likes the work,

I'm dropping out
of everything.

Tennis, student council,
debate.

I'm concentrating totally
on my writing.

CHARLIE: If you draw a judge

who has just lost a child
to leukemia,

-what do you do?
-STUDENTS: Make him laugh.

Right.

If you draw a judge
who's flirting with you,

what do you do?

-STUDENTS: Flirt back.
-Right!

If the judges are members
of the John Birch Society,

what do you do?

STUDENTS:
Wear a flag and rebel.

This is the way debates,

matters of the heart,

and unfortunately,
general elections are won.

Where's Garson?

Uh, he's with his dad.

Um, we have one
for the computer.

How do you sell abortion
to a Catholic judge?

CHARLIE: Let me
tell you a story.

Before Roe v. Wade,

if a young lady found herself
in the family way,

she had to resort to the
lowest and seamiest
people in her life

to find a back-alley
abortionist.

My mother had
a back-alley abortion.

She was 19.

She went to a filthy hotel
on the wrong side of town.

The sleazebag doctor
met her there. He said,

"Take off your dress.
Drop your pants."

Then he laughed and said,

"If you hadn't dropped
your pants in the first place,

"this wouldn't have happened."

Then, he said, "I want
my payment in advance."

Naked, my mother
walked in front of him

over to her purse.

Got the $1,000 out of it,
and handed it to him.

Then, he said,

"How would you like
to make $100 back?"

My mother said, "What?"

He said, "Just come over here,
and kneel down, sweetheart,

"and make an old man happy."

My mother was repulsed.

She said,
"Just take care of it."

So, he put her up
on a wooden table,

and he took a long,
cold instrument

and shoved it up
into her uterus,

and began scrapping out
the fetus.

Blood spurted out
all over her.

My mother thought
she was gonna die.

When she arrived home,

after two hours on a bus,
she had lost so much blood

that they had to rush her to
a hospital in an ambulance.

But she was lucky.

She lived.

I was lucky.

She lived long enough
to give birth to me.

But, in the '40's,

the law was perfectly willing

to slap her into
jail for 20 years,

for participating in this.

Except for the relative
that told me,

she never told this story
to another soul.

Um, excuse me,
I don't understand.

How do you sell abortion
to a Catholic judge?

Tell 'em the story
of your mother.

BOY: My mother
never had an abortion.

Neither did mine.

(STUDENTS APPLAUDING)

SENATOR: You think I didn't
have dreams of my own?

I was a damn good musician
in those days,

but my father said to me

the same thing
I'm saying to you.

"Michael," he said,

"We have a responsibility
as a family, to this country.

"That's why God gave us
all these blessings."

But I'm not like you
and Grandpa.

SENATOR:
Thank you, sweetheart.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Look, Gar, you're
a thoroughbred, son.

You're coming out of the gate.

Now, you take this dream
of Grandpa's,

this McKellar dream,

and you bring it home.

You owe that to your family,

to your generation,

to your country.

Did you read any of my stories
that I left at Christmas?

I don't need to.

Your mother read 'em.
She said they were fine.

(CHUCKLES)

What do you want?

You want me to
make a phone call

and get them published?

You wanna have a play
on Broadway next year?

Dad, stop patronizing me.

Well, I'll do
whatever you want,

but you gotta do
what I want, too.

That's called manhood.

* Yeah!

(MAN VOCALIZING)

(HORN HONKING)

* Far in the sky,
it don't matter

* It's all just
a state of mind

* Rise up the weight
of the world

* And drag it down your side

* Write up a list
of your violence

* They're gonna toss it
to the ground

* Oh, tomorrow

* Opening the river's run

* Come on,
the night is still young

* If we can't do it,
it can't be done *

SCHWIMMER: Charlie,
you know how much money

the McKellar family gives
to the school each year.

Or how much winning

a National Debate Championship
could bring in?

Suppose... Suppose
the play is brilliant.

You're not gonna
let him quit.

Just listen, Schwimmer.

We're not supposed to be
programing these kids
into some mold

that you or I with the family
think that they belong in.

I'm just telling you,

if there is any merit
at all in that play,

I am going to let him quit.

Do it

and even you're tenure
won't protect you.

Now what's that
supposed to mean?

What it means is,
I want that boy debating!

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

-How is it going, Dostoyevsky?
-I just finished it, Charlie.

You gonna love it.

Hmm.

Ah, thank you.

Mmm.

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

-Kid, behave yourself.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

(GRUNTS)

So what do you think?

Why do I get the impression

you are gonna base
a life-time decision

on what I think of this play.

It's good, isn't it, Charlie?

But if I say I love it,

would you quit debate?

Maybe.

Then how do you expect me
to be honest?

Because you're my friend.

I got to get out of trap
before it's too late, Charlie.

If we win the conference
and go to Washington

and my old man's machine
cracks into action,

it's gonna be too late.

Is that play good or isn't it?

The way you've been acting,

it's like you are afraid
to tell me that it stinks.

Am I kidding myself
with this, Charlie,

or do I have a chance, huh?

Tell me.

You ask too much of me.

Make your own decisions.

(DOOR OPENING)

(DOOR SLAMS)

I think it's only fair
to warn you up-front

that my partner
and I often disagree.

That you watch,

we usually end up
debating each other,

instead of our opponents.

Oh, and it gets
very entertaining.

Just last week, at the
Berkeley tournament,

she tried to gouge my eyes out
with her fingernails.

-(CROWD CHUCKLES)
-See the scratches?

Tucker can be very charming,
I'll give you that.

But if you listen closely,

when it's time for
his rebuttal, you'll see.

He'll give you his
best Okey drawl,

two down home homilies,
pile of BS.

If he gives you so much

as one piece of
documented evidence,

-I'll eat my shoe.
-(CROWD CHUCKLING)

The affirmative argue that
the fetal viability standard,

presented in Roe v. Wade,

is on a collision
course with itself.

There are three reasons
why this is false.

One. Doctor Alan Fleischman,

Director of Neonatology
in New York City's

Montefiore Medical Center,

stated that even at the most
sophisticated hospital,

babies born before the
24th week

have no chance of survival.

I would argue, two.

Time magazine reported on
July 6th 1987, page 83,

that fewer than 1%
of the 1.5 million abortions

performed in the
United States each year

occurred after the first
20 weeks of pregnancy.

And finally, three.
Janet Benshoof,

Director of the
Reproductive Freedom Project

of the American
Civil Liberties Union,

concluded that Roe v. Wade

is not on collision
course with itself.

-Well, wonders never cease.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(CROWD APPLAUDING)

They are all kinds
of abortions.

Any time life and freedom
are cut short,

it's an abortion.

It doesn't matter, if you're
in the first trimester,

or the second trimester,

or if you're 22 years old.

Anytime a human being
denies another human being

the right to life,

liberty,

or the simple pursuit of his
own special dream,

it's an abortion.

And it's an abomination
in the eyes of God!

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

My duty on behalf of the
Cross Examination
Debate Association,

to award this year's
national title to

Kenmont College.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Coach! Coach! Coach!

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

We have just learned that
over at Princeton University,

about an hour ago,

the NDT title was won
by Harvard University.

So that means it'll be

Lloynd and Shields
versus Chin and McKellar

at Washington.

(CROWD CHEERING)

WOMAN: Excuse me...

WOMAN: Taxi.

Hey, I got an idea.

What you say
we unload this stuff

and take a subway
to Times Square?

Come on, we'll celebrate.

It's late.

Well, then let's go up
to bar on the roof

and dance for half hour or so.

Take it easy, guys.

-Good night.
-See you later.

-Tuck, bye.
-Good night.

(MONICA SIGHS)

What was that for?

For not giving up.

Good night, Tuck.

(SIGHS)

Hey, lady, you ever heard
about lifting cars?

You know, that I lift cars
every damn night

waiting for you.

What does that mean,
"lifting cars"?

Ask any guy.

Hey, what do you mean by about
"not giving up"?

It's me, okay?
It has nothing to do with you.

I'll see you at breakfast.

MONICA: You look beautiful.

Thank you.

What's wrong?

Bruce wants me to meet him
up at the roof

to watch everybody dance,

-and I'm scared.
-Why?

Because I don't know
what he expects from me.

Maybe he doesn't
expect anything.

Maybe he's just
in love with you.

Maybe that's what
I'm scared of the most.

-You want to come with me?
-(SIGHS) I am too tired.

Besides, I didn't bring
anything else to wear

except my debate clothes.

Well, if you change your mind

then you can use
anything in my closet.

Thank you.

Here goes nothing.

Wish I had half your guts.

Oh, believe me, I wish
I had half my guts.

(CHUCKLES)

Donna, I was wondering,

what did Tucker mean
when he said

"lifting cars"?

(LAUGHING)

Um, he meant that he is dying
of terminal horniness.

Guys say that they lift cars

to relieve the ache
in their balls.

Oh!

Oh. (CHUCKLING)

Bye.

(CHUCKLING)

* Around your love

* I wanna go where
no one's ever been before

* I'm satisfied this...

-Want to get out of here?
-What does that mean?

You know what that means.

Sorry.

Hey, Nath!

How about letting me dance
with Susan, huh?

-It's up to her.
-I'd love to.

What?

You said I could dance
with anyone I wanted to.

Within our species.

Bruce, if you want to dance,
go ahead and ask anyone.

It's okay.

Go ahead.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

May I have this dance?

Don't you ever hear
anything I say to you?

I can't do this!
I can't dance!

Bruce, what are you doing?

(CANE CLATTERS)

Donna Lumis...

I love you.

Aw. (LAUGHING)

DONNA: I love you.

(LAUGHING)

* The feel in the air
gets tighter

* The fire in your eyes
gets brighter *

(GRUNTING)

* Nobody's better
Making it look easy

* You're slowly driving
these boys crazy *

(GARSON CLEARS THROAT)

Garson, hi.
Have you seen Tucker?

-No.
-(MONICA SIGHS)

Look at you.

Do you want a drink?

Okay.

This is a Cordon Bleu.
Would you like to try some?

Sure.

-Whoa! (CHUCKLES)
-(COUGHING)

You have to take it easy
with that stuff.

Oh. Ah, that's good.
Can I get another one?

Could I have another one?

She's the boss. Two, please.

So, uh...

What's with you
and Tucker anyway?

You two getting it on?

Tucker and me? Be serious.

You sure about that?

Why should it matter to you?

Whoa, hang on. I'm asking
the question, here.

Oh.

So if you're not into Tucker

then what's the
deep, dark reason

why you never go out
on a date?

Garson, I've had enough
cross ex for one day.

How would you like it
if I asked you

why such an intelligent man,
as yourself,

dates such shallow people?

No, I don't mind
answering that.

It's because I don't know

the first thing
about real love.

All I've ever seen are
abortions of love.

Love of power,
the love of money.

Hasn't anyone ever
dated you for you

and not all that other stuff?

(CHUCKLES)

Well, if they were that way
when they walked in door,

they sure didn't
leave that way.

You see, I have
this incredible knack

of bringing out
the worst in people.

-Nice quality.
-(CHUCKLING)

Now you.

Why do you work so hard

to hide this beauty
from the world?

Well for one thing, I'm not
a big exhibitionist.

Oh, no, you don't.

The affirmative is convinced

that there is more to it
than that.

Resolved. Some boy hurt you.

You tell me what his name is
and I'll break his kneecaps.

You're wrong.
No boy ever hurt me.

Then who did?

Garson, would you
like to dance?

-Sure.
-Okay.

* Every woman here can see
Every man would kill to be

* Who's gonna love you tonight

* Who's gonna love you

* Who's gonna love you tonight

* Who's gonna love you

* Who's gonna love you tonight

* Every woman here can see

* Every man would kill to be

* Who's gonna love you tonight

* Who's gonna
love you tonight *

Uh, do you want to come in
and listen to some music?

It's after 1:00, and we have
to catch a plane tomorrow.

Come on, Tomanski,
would you just relax
for once in your life?

(LAUGHING)

If I get any more relaxed,
you'd have to carry me
into my room.

Okay. Just for a little
while, all right?

Just for a...
Just for a little while.

Okay. (LAUGHING)

Garson, it's really late,

and I'm feeling kind of dizzy
from those cognacs.

Relax for a bit, you can
leave whenever you want.

Okay.

Look at you.
What are you afraid of?

-It's just me.
-Oh, I know.

It's just, um...

I feel like I shouldn't
be here, I guess.

Why, 'cause you afraid
you might want to seduce me?

No.

Well, you don't think
I'm out to

seduce you, do you?

I don't know, are you?

No, but I want to
know you better.

What I said to you
upstairs was true.

I know absolutely nothing

about how to relate
to nice girls.

Girls that don't always want
something from you.

But you like me for me,
right, Monica?

Of course.

I got to get to bed.
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

Wait, there's so much
on my mind right now,

don't leave me yet, please.

What is it, Garson?

Monica, I feel so trapped.

You know, I wish I had
your confidence or Tucker's,

the way you guys
both seem to know

exactly where you're going.

Maybe you see things
in Tucker and me

that aren't really there.

No.

You see things in me
that aren't really there.

You going to way
beyond anything

I ever did at debate,
Monica, I'm sure of that.

That's very sweet
of you to say.

I hope you're right.
(CHUCKLES)

I got to go.

Wait, Monica.

If I had someone like you
who believed in me,

it would be so much easier.

Garson, you are
hurting my arm.

Wait, Monica, wait.

What do you want?

I've given you the
wrong impression.

All I want is a friend.

I'm not coming
onto you, Monica.

Garson, you are drunk.

No, I'm not drunk.

(MONICA GASPS)

(SOBBING) Let me out.

No. Not until I'm sure
you understand.

There's nothing to understand.

We both just drank
too much, okay?

Then why are you running away?

Because I'm afraid.

So am I.

(SOBBING) I want you, Monica,
I need you so much.

Stop! Oh God, let me out!

-Stop!
-What the hell's the
matter with you?

-Stop it!
-What have I got
to do with you?

-Help me! Somebody help me!
-Shut up!

Monica, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt you.

-I'm sorry.
-(SOBBING) Don't touch me.

-Please, don't touch me.
-I'm not going to hurt you.

Wait, let me get a washcloth.

Oh, God.

Monica!

Hey, Monica?

Monica?

(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

(SCREAMS)

-Monica?
-(SCREAMS)

-Help me!
-Hey, hey, it's okay.

It's me. It's Tucker.

-Oh, Tucker.
-Easy, easy.

You're going to okay.
Calm down.

You're all right. You're okay.

Here, take my coat.

Hey, you kids okay?

Yeah, how much
to Tearton hotel?

Our minimum's $40.

Okay, that's fine.

Monica, what happened?
Who did this to you?

It's going to be all right.

Come on, I'll help
you to you room.

I really want to
be alone, okay?

I got to go, all right.

Hey, my 40 bucks?

Thanks.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Garson, I want to talk to you.

Hello, country boy.

I'm just here having a drink
with my buddy Dostoyevsky.

What did you do to her?

Now there's a writer.

His family tried to force him
into being an engineer,

and he said...

What did you do to her, man?

Hey, what she do,
make up some story?

Monica never made up a story
in her life, and you know it.

So now what happened,
damn it?

Nothing happened, all right?

Why don't you
just settle down.
You want a drink?

No.

Look, I don't want
anything from you,

I just want you
to be straight.

I'm being straight!

Nothing happened, all right?

We had a little
misunderstanding.

That girl's got real problems.
You know, she imagines things.

So what did she imagine?

She's crazy,
all right, Tucker?

She actually thought that
I was trying to rape her.

Can you imagine that?

Me, the next President
of these United States.

-(CHUCKLES)
-You bastard!

WAITER: Hey, stop. Stop!

Both out of here. Get out!

Cool down...

-Get out of here.
-Stay out.

You snake!
You're not a friend.

You're just like every other
rich asshole in this world.

You use people
like us for kicks.

Don't give your
poor-boy bullshit.

I never did for any friend
in this world,

and you took it to use me
every chance you got.

That's a lie. No, I didn't!

Don't tell me
you don't go home at night

thinking of ways that
I could help you

in your political career.

I think Monica was right.

I overestimated you,
Muldowney.

You and your smelly cage
full of animals,

you're full of shit.

-Get out!
-(HORN HONKING)

All right, I bought into it.

Like everybody else,
I wanted to be just like you.

I wanted to have it all.

Did it ever once occur to you

that maybe I envy you
as much as you envy me?

Did it?

That's crazy, man.
I don't have shit.

No, you're wrong, Chickenman.

You've got it all,
but you don't even realize it.

I'm the one who's got shit.

Outside of Charlie Nichols

there's not a single
goddamn person in this world

I can trust.

Well, you can't even
trust him, homey.

What are you saying?

Your beloved Charlie Nichols,

he's been controlling you
for years.

Your father has been using him
to keep you in line.

You're lying!

Bastard, I'm going
to kick your ass.

(HORN HONKING)

Tuck, look out.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Garson!

Oh, God!
God help me.

Somebody get an ambulance!

Get an ambulance!

Don't die.

Garson, don't die.

CHARLIE: No.

Jesus!

Garson.

CHARLIE: The Dean is issuing
a formal statement of default

to the NDT today.

I said that was
all right with me,

but I wanted to
talk to you first.

Why us?

The rules say, if the
first team can't go,

the second team
takes its place.

That's you.

You beat out Gore and Hooper
by one point in New York.

We never debated open,
we wouldn't stand a chance.

TUCKER: Ah, come on,
we don't deserve to go.

I shouldn't even be alive.

We're not Garson and Chin.

Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.

That's a lot of crap.

What if I told you
you were better than Garson,

and he knew it.

You the best freshman team
I've ever coached.

You're not saying
we go to Washington.

I mean, those guys...

Those guys have debated
together for last eight years.

They've won the NDT title
for last three years straight.

So what?

Let's get something straight
about Garson, too.

I know you loved him
as much as I did,

but he wasn't a God.

He was just a kid

wanting to live out
his own dream

and nobody would let him,
especially me.

That's my problem.

Your problem is,

are you going to cut short
your own dreams,

just quit,

default to Harvard,

or try to live up
to the potential

that Gar saw in you,
and put up a fight?

I thought the Dean was
planning on defaulting us.

You face-up to your fears

I'll face up to mine.

What do you say, Tomanski?

What's it going to be,
Muldowney?

What you got to lose?

(MONICA SNIFFLES)

-Okay.
-All right.

Good.

Good.

Good...

Miriam, ring me as soon as
the NDT call comes through.

They don't want
to quit Wilson,

and I don't want
to quit either.

(PHONE RINGING)

You pick up that phone

and I'm going to shove it
right up your pompous ass.

I'm asking for investigation
into this mess,

and it's going to cost you
your professorship!

-Who cares?
-(PHONE CLATTERS)

I'm going to tell
the whole world

how we kept that kid
captive here,

how we took away his
God-given freedoms

-for our selfish motives.
-Not me.

Oh, not you. Oh, no.

What happened is New York
was your responsibility.

Everything I've ever done

I've done for the good
of the school.

Bullshit!

You and I killed that boy.

And I'm going to be around
to remind you of that

every time you look over
your shoulder.

All right, go ahead take them.

-Send the freshmen.
-I'll do that.

But you know as well as I
they don't stand a chance.

Don't be too sure of that!

REPORTER: Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

We're in an anteroom to the
Supreme Court

for the first true

National Debate Championship
in 15 years.

Judging today's debate are
five of the nine-members

of the Supreme Court
of the United States.

Representing the NDT, the
National Debate Tournament,

Harvard College.

Representing the CEDA,

the Cross Examination
Debate Association,

Kenmont College.

Call it, Kenmont.

Uh, heads.

Tails.

Harvard, do you wish to debate

the affirmative
or the negative?

Harvard will debate
the negative.

CHARLIE: Your flying low
won't do any good.

Oh, jeez! I went on
television like that.

MAN: All rise.

Be seated.

Kill 'em.

All right, here we go.

These Harvard boys have egos
bigger than their brains.

Feed those egos,
don't fight them.

Maybe we get them
to lower their guard a bit.

Okay, let's kick ass.

Let the debate begin.

(AUDIENCE CLAPPING)

Go Kenmont!
(HOOTING)

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

The affirmative will prove

that abortion is
neither legally,

nor philosophically justified.

Legally we will argue that the
Supreme Court's proper role

is to uphold and interpret
the constitution.

Not arrogantly legislate their
private moral views into law,

as they did in Roe v. Wade.

Besides, condemning
judicial activism,

we will also argue that

that this decision
has promoted

sexually irresponsible
behavior,

by making abortion
so accessible and
morally sanctioned,

that it has become
our nation's

main form of birth control.

Philosophically,
we will suggest that
abortion is a cancer,

eating away the
moral fabric of this society

and that it places unfair
responsibilities on women.

But before I continue,

I'd just like to say on behalf
of my partner and myself,

that this is the
greatest honor of our lives.

To be standing before you
esteemed ladies and gentlemen

of the highest court
in this land.

And to be debating the
renowned Harvard team

of Lloynd and Shields.

We expect to learn
a great deal

from you today, gentlemen.

-Tell me, Miss Tomanski.
-MONICA: Yes.

Would you deny an abortion to
the victim of incest or rape?

To a woman whose
life or health were in danger?

Absolutely not.

We are simply saying that
Roe v. Wade is unjustified

because it is improper
for the Supreme Court

to create laws.

That's why we
have legislatures.

Have you offered these judges
any evidence

that all 50 states

would grant women
their right to abortion?

How could I? There's no
way of knowing for sure

what each state would do.

The Washington Post
has stated,

"The returning the regulation
of abortion back to the state,

"would result in bitterness
and divisiveness,

"legislative struggle,
litigation,

"women forced to long
distances for legal abortion.

"And poor people
forced into having

"dangerous
back-alley abortions."

You have the counter evidence
to these conclusions?

I have one last question,
Miss Tomanski.

You claim that you support
a woman's right to abortion,

but that it should be
voted on by the state, right?

Right.

If you are so willing

to let a male dominated
state legislature,

vote on whether or not you
have the right to abortion,

will you let them vote
next year on whether or not

you have the
right to free speech?

(AUDIENCE MURMURING)

No more questions.

Before Roe v. Wade,
there were only, uh,

98,000 illegal abortions

performed in the
United States.

Now, compare that
with the current rate of

1.5 million legal
abortions per year,

and you can easily see that
that would leave us with

1.4 million babies that could
be adopted immediately.

We'd like to know
the source and date

of those statistics,
Mr. Muldowney.

Yeah, well, that would
take us a little while
to dig out of our files.

Go digging, Mr. Muldowney.

(SIGHS) Help me.
I don't know where I put it.

The evidence is from
Thomas H. Hilder.

-Thomas H. Hilder.
-Yes.

Isn't it a fact that

professor Carl Djerassi
of Stanford University,

wrote in the April 1986,
Bulletin of Atomic Scientists,

that Hilder's illegal
abortion estimates

are based on exaggerated
maternal mortality figures?

I'm not gonna con you,
they're killing us.

-Professor Nichols...
-Please!

Please, not now, not now.

But remember,
to pull this thing out,

we only have to win
one of our two arguments.

The legal or
the philosophical.

And we only need three
of the five judges

to go along with us.

-Oh, is that all?
-Be serious, this is hopeless.

It's not hopeless!

It's just one of those
moments in life

you're always talking
about, Muldowney.

Have we got
a pocket for $10,

or go chasing
after the guy?

Then what are we
supposed to do?

I want you to pick an argument
you think you can win.

But we're certainly
not winning with the legal.

CHARLIE: Then go for
the philosophical.

Give them your best rhetoric.

We can't win
this thing on facts,

then we damn well better
win it on drama.

What drama?

You'll have to find
that in yourselves.

(LAUGHING)

This is ridiculous.

(HUFFING)

Hey, forget that junk.

It's not in there.

Then where is it?

What I am about
to tell you is something

I haven't told anyone
in four very long years.

Not my parents.

Not a single friend.

No one.

The reason I'm telling
you this today, is because
I realized, very recently,

that life may not be the
long ride we think it will be.

And because there's obviously
no other way to cut through

these cold statistics and
rational opinion and give you,

men in particular,

a true look into
the hearts of women.

When I was 14 years old,

I was raped by one
of the bartenders who
worked in my father's bar.

I got pregnant,

and I had an abortion.

(DEEP SIGH) Afterwards,
I couldn't trust men at all.

I couldn't relax.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Or feel anything.

And I carried around
with me this deep
depression about life.

And I blamed it,
with all the rest,
on the rape.

But this year I realized
that the abortion had
affected me just as much.

You see, abortion is
a deceptive issue.

When it's happening all loaded
up on Demerol, it doesn't seem
like such a big deal.

Just a minor operation to
remove a major problem.

But later,

sometimes, years later,

it hits you what you've done.

It doesn't just hit you,
it devastates you.

For some women,
this awareness comes

when they watch a movie,
when they see kids
playing in the park.

For me it came when I saw
a close friend of mine dying.

(SOBBING) Yes,
I had an abortion.

And I'd do it again
if I was raped.

(SNIFFLING)
But what I realized,

the night that my friend died,

was that life,

born and unborn, is precious.

And waste even one life,

(VOICE BREAKING)
even the life that I wasted,

is so very sad.

(SOBBING CONTINUES)

Don't you see the bind
we women are in?

With Roe v. Wade you gave
us the freedom we needed.

The freedom we deserved!

To be the final voice of what
happens to our own bodies.

But on the other hand,
you gave us a cross too heavy

for any woman or
man to carry alone.

Because you gave
us the God-like power,
to terminate life.

Biologically,
this responsibility
falls on the female,

but ethically, it should fall
equally on the male.

(WHISPERS)

You men in general
don't want to know anything
about this, do you?

You women,
most of you, wouldn't mind

sweeping all these
questions under the carpet,
but you're both wrong.

You're both running from
the responsibility we all have

in matters where
human life is at stake.

And the day we stop
running and fighting,

and we start talking
to each other about it,

is the day that we can
finally call ourselves
a civilized nation.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Oh, that was brilliant!
You were fantastic!

If you believe that one,
I've got one hell of a bridge

to show you that just
happens to be for sale.

(LAUGHING)

I quote, "If you are losing
a debate, be prepared to say
anything to turn it around."

End quote.

We've all read your
brilliant text book,
coach Nichols.

So let's nudge this
debate back onto a
more factual foundation.

Shall we?

Harvard has dismantled
the affirmative position
on every key issue.

We have defended
freedom of choice for women.

And stressed the right
of individuals not to be
coerced by government

on sensitive personal issues,
like abortion.

Kenmont's failure to
offer any kind of a plan

that would improve
on the status quo,

is the greatest indication
of all, that what we've
been hearing all day

from our worthy opponents,

is just a lot of
hot California air.

(LAUGHING)

We are very confident
that you will vote negative.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

What we need is a plan!

-Then give them one.
-I don't have one!

Of course you do.

You're the wrap up specialist,
aren't you?

So go wrap it all,
Muldowney.

Mr. Muldowney,
your time has already started.

At the start of the season,
Coach said that we would have

to learn to see and
feel the other side
as if it were our own.

I thought he was
out of his mind.

See, I thought the rich
were to blame for
all the country's problems.

And I thought that women
were the bad guys in
the battle of the sexes.

But then I met a young man
who was very rich,

and he taught me that

the rich have problems
just like everybody else,

and that being poor is
no excuse for anything.

And then,
I met this young lady,

who thought me
that I don't know the
first thing about women,

or what they're
going through today.

(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

And the conclusion
I came to is this.

We are all
in this boat together!

Rich and poor!

Old and young.

Men and women!

And we are all scared
and unsure today,

because our
whole moral structure,
as a nation, is crumbling.

And we don't know
what to do about it.

You want a plan?

Well, the first step is to
realize that decisions
like Roe v. Wade,

have inadvertently contributed
to an overall breakdown in
this nation's character.

I mean, look around!
We have lost the backbone
of our founding fathers!

Their pride and passion!

About work and the family.

And replaced it with
a consumer culture,

that we are all
hooked on like junkies.

Everything is too easy for us!

If we can't make
our marriages work,

we'll go and get
a quickie divorce.

If we can't afford something,

we'll put it on credit and
leave a legacy of debt
for the next generation.

And if we get a little sloppy
about our birth control,

we'll walk in
and get an abortion.

The next step in this plan,
is a nationally funded
education effort.

Aimed at making all of us
aware of how we have been
abusing our freedoms,

and what we need to do
to regain our integrity
as human beings.

You see, I am not saying
that abortion is wrong.

But not training the young
to approach sex
and contraception

as everybody's sacred
responsibility, is wrong.

Making one gender pay the
price for our sins, is wrong!

Not valuing human life,
born and unborn, is wrong!

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Mmm.

(AUDIENCE MURMURING)

(SHUSHING)

I'd like to close with a quote

from a good buddy Dostoyevsky

that pretty well sums up
the affirmative position,

"Imagine that you are creating
a fabric of human destiny

"with the object of making men
and women happy in the end,

"giving them peace
and rest at last.

"But that it was essential and
inevitable to torture to death
only one tiny creature..."

That little baby
beating its breast with
its fist, for instance.

"And to found that edifice,

"that wonderful new world..."

On that child's
unavenged tears.

"Would you consent to be the
architect on those conditions?

"Tell me.

"And tell the truth."

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

-He did it!
-Yeah!

I'm so proud of you.

Now you didn't faint.

Respect, sir.

The judges will
give their decisions

based on their seniority.

Justice Patterson?

I thought that Harvard
dominated the debate

with their research
and polish as a team.

Negative.

Justice Goodman?

I found the West Coast team
very appealing.

Very sympathetic.

This national character issue
is a fresh, new approach.

Affirmative.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

CLERK: Justice Tarlton?

Well, uh, I thought both teams
did a very nice job with the
women's right issue.

But it seemed to me that, uh,

Harvard was the
more persuasive.

Negative.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Justice Brooderworth.

Don't read more into this,
boys, than it's worth.

This is a collegiate debate,
not a true vote.

I believe in Roe v. Wade.

But I believe this
Kenmont team is right

about a national educational
campaign on abortion.

I also think it's time we
got back to a deeper
value system in this nation.

Kenmont.

-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
-It's two on two,
I don't believe it.

Justice Blyleven.

(SIGHING)

Kenmont.

-(SCREAMING)
-(RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE)

Yes!

TUCKER: We did it!

We better get outta here
before the press gets here.

-The press?
-Come on, Muldowney,
let's get out of here.

Unbelievable! Oh, God!

Tucker, do you realize
what just happened?

We just beat the best
collegiate debate team
in history.

And I wish he could
have seen it.

Oh, he would have
been so proud.

(SIGH)

-I just got one
question for you...
-I feel so free!

I never thought people
could feel this free.

You didn't make that up,
did you?

No wonder you
never trusted me.

I trust you now.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

* Hold me

* I will hold you

* Listen to me
while I speak my heart

* You can talk to me

* We're all looking
for a place to start

* Where we tell
the truth again

* Tell the truth again

* Lover

* Life is closing in
from everywhere

* There's so little time
to show we care

* Say the words
that show our hearts

* Won't you listen to me

* Knowing how we fall

* Listen to me

* Knowing love is all

* I am in you

* And you are in me

* Through each other's eyes

* We see

* Listen to me

* Hold me

* I will hold you

* Listen to me
while I speak my heart

* You can talk to me

* We're all looking
for a place to start

* Where we tell
the truth again

* Tell the truth again

* Love me

* Listen to me,
life is not that long

* And we don't have time
to get it wrong

* Let's believe
and let's begin

* Let's begin

* Won't you listen to me

* Knowing how we fall

* Listen to me

* Knowing love is all

* I am in you

* And you are in me

* Through each other's eyes

* We see

* Listen to me

* Won't you listen to me

* For we know how we fall

* Listen to me

* Knowing love is all

* I am in you

* And you are in me

* Through each other's eyes

* We see

* Won't you listen to me

* For we know how we fall

* Listen to me

* Knowing love is all

* I am in you

* And you are in me

* Through each other's eyes

* We see

* Listen to me

* For we know how we fall

* Knowing love is all

* I am in you

* And you are in me

* Through each other's eyes

* We see

* Just how good our lives

* Could be

* Through each other's eyes

* We see

* Listen to me

* Listen to me

* Listen to me