Original subtitles

- Previously on "Danger Force"...

- You watched a fresh episode of "Genuine Moments"...

- Buddy and I-- - Without me?

- Are you serious?

- The MILES system.

This is the only way to teach Ray

how to forgive Credenza.

- Dad, what are you doing here? It's not your weekend.

all: Drex is your dad?

- Do you all know each other?

all: No!

- Credenza, will you make me the happiest man in the world

by taking this heart-shaped diamond ring

and being my wife? - You know I will.

The beacon is complete.

[machine whirs] For He is coming.

[thunder rumbles]

[epic music]

- Surprise.

There's a comet headed right at us.

- Stop, drop, and roll!

[loud thud]

- No, Mary, the comet isn't going

to crash through the roof and set you on fire.

- Tell that to my uncle who got hit in the face by a comet.

- Here to talk Mary out from under the desk

is self-proclaimed comet enthusiast,

Lil' Bobby Newser.

Lil' Bobby, get the heck in here.

- Thanks for having me, Trent, Mary.

- Duck and cover, Little Bobby!

- Folks, we got a real showstopper on our hands here.

This particular comet only swings by Earth

about once every two thousand years.

- That's a lot of sleeps.

- It sure is, Mary.

[monitor bleeps] - Dude!

- We were watching Lil' Bobby Newser!

- You just turned off the only reason I trust the news.

- Guess what? I'm getting married!

- We know. - Really?

Well, do you know I'm getting married to Credenza?

- [gasps] - Yeah.

- Yeah, we know that, too. - Well, did you know that--

- Nothing you're about to say is going to surprise us!

- I'm retiring, effective immediately.

- What? - Retiring?

- Effective? - Immediately?

- That's right.

My superhero days are super over.

I bought a boat.

I'm getting married.

I'm about to sail off into the sunset with my boo.

Huh.

- Don't you get hecka sick on boats?

- Used to, till I got these sea- sick stability glasses.

- Hey, I'm not taking a picture.

I'm just texting my dog.

He's a good boy. - [chuckling]

Send that to me.

- Yeah, well, you can also text your fake dog

that I'm done fighting crime.

- Come on, Ray. - What are you doing?

[somber music]

* *

- Hey, you're going a bit too far now--

oh, that is a lot of fire juice.

- Captain Man out.

[fire roars] - Whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Pump the brakes, man!

- Settle Down.

- You just announced you're retiring,

poured way too much fire juice in there,

torched your uniform,

and you're telling us to settle down?

- Nah, I was telling you the name of my new boat.

I named her Settle Down.

Ugh! [groans]

'Cause I'm settling down.

- Yeah, we get it.

- This all seems to be happening a little fast.

Oh! - He is getting old, though.

- This was always the plan.

I was supposed to retire after Henry graduated.

But he bailed on me, so then I trained

you little weirdos to take over, and now you're ready--

although Miles, your arm is currently on fire.

- So it is.

You sure you don't want to pump the brakes a bit?

- If anything, I wanna pump the gas

on my boat with my boo.

- You and Credenza have only been dating for half a season

of "Genuine Moments."

She doesn't even know your secret identity.

- Yeah, dude, are you sure she's on board?

- Oh, I am on board the SS Settle Down.

- [screams]

- Greetings, citizen.

It is I, Delivery Joe.

- And it is me, George Glass...es.

- You guys, Credenza knows your real names.

- Are you kidding me?

- She's about to be my wife.

I told her all my secrets--

and all of yours.

- Those weren't yours to reveal.

- Ah, let's see. What else?

Oh, I told you about the secret key to the Man's Nest.

- Told me about the secret weapons wall.

- Yeah. - Ooh, even told me about

the hidden fridge with the oat milk.

- Oh, yeah. - It's so good.

[laughs] So good.

[belches] - Mm.

Love you, babe.

- Love you more, babe.

- Just gonna put that right back, huh?

- We should skedaddle.

- Oh, yeah.

- About to drop my babe off at home

and then get fitted for my wedding tux with my best man.

Lil' guy who's been with me my whole life,

through thick and thin.

- Schwoz?

- What? No, gross.

Drex. [device beeps]

Later, taters.

Down the tube!

- Something doesn't smell right about Ray retiring.

- Something doesn't smell right

about Credenza's chonky oat burp.

- You guys, you're never gonna believe this.

- Ray's retiring?

- What? - What?

- Also, Drex is gonna be his best man.

- What?

- Yeah, sorry, bro.

- So what's your big news? - Okay, so remember

how a few days ago, Bose found another

cave painting in this new diamond mine?

- No, but continue.

- Anyway, I noticed that some of the symbols look similar

to the symbols in the other cave paintings.

- We think whoever made those cave paintings

made these ones, too.

- And they're not just directions

for building an evil device.

These panels tell a story!

- We think it's about a baby chicken

who wears a cowboy hat.

- N-no.

We think it's about a Hero Slayer who's coming

to Swellview to deliver the world to its followers.

- Yawn. - No, that actually seems bad.

- It's just some drawings on a wall.

- That's what I thought, too,

until I saw the comet.

- Wait!

Lil' Bobby Newser was just saying

there's a comet headed this way.

- Did he mention anything about a baby chicken

who wears a cowboy hat?

- Let me show you.

This drawing is the final, uh,

verse of a prophecy... - A prediction.

- That says a monster is coming...

- In a comet... - To slay a hero...

- To take over the world with its followers.

- This story's way too scary.

What if I turn the monster in the comet

to a baby chick with a cowboy hat?

- What? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

- Schwoz, what else does the wall say?

- It says... - [squeals]

- That a hero from Swellview will arise

to fight the monster.

- Probably talking about me.

- But it says

the monster will kill the hero.

- Probably talking about Ray.

- Is that one of those masks

that the Cell dudes wear?

- You're right.

- Okay, things just got creepy.

- They're right behind you.

- Come on, don't mess with us like that.

- No, I'm serious! They're right behind you!

[tense music]

- Bye-bye.

[both groaning]

- It all just kind of happened.

[overlapping chatter]

You get that?

- * Danger *

[vocalizing]

* *

* Danger! One, two, three, Force! *

- We look amazing.

- You've been posing for hours.

[all shouting at once]

- That's right, keep walking, Schwoz.

Keep walking.

[epic music]

- We need a plan.

[grunts] How about we--

- Start frying these chickens?

On it. [electricity crackling]

- Yah! - What the--

where did he--oh!

[both grunting]

Yah!

- Ugh!

[groans]

- Ugh!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wait, what's going--

hey, hey!

- [screams]

- Whoa! [grunts]

- [panting] - Oh, my God, are you okay?

- Yeah.

But those Cell guys just saw all of our faces.

- I don't think they care.

- Yeah, I think they've got bigger plans.

- Who are you calling? - Ray.

We need to warn him that The Cell is alive.

* *

[cell phone ringing]

- Uh, hang on, babe. It's work.

I gotta take this. - I thought you said

you were retired, babe.

- Yeah, babe, but they might need my help, babe.

- Babe, if you love me,

you won't pick up that call, babe.

- [huffs] Okay, babe.

- [chuckles]

- Aw, babe!

- Oh.

Oh.

[garbage disposal whirring]

- I love the spontaneity, babe,

but the address of the tux shop was on there--

- Ohh. - Eh, don't worry about it.

I'll just drive around till I find it.

- I know you will, babe.

- Looking forward to a lifetime of this, babe.

- Okay. - [chuckles]

Okay.

- Uh, Mom?

Did you drink my secret bottle of oat milk

that I keep under my bed?

- Uh, you know I did.

Also, we need to talk about something.

- Is it setting healthy boundaries

about looking under beds, because--

[bottle clatters]

Those aren't mine.

- I found 'em under your bed,

right next to this book called

"How to Keep Your Superhero Identity

a Secret From Your Mom."

- That was not supposed to be published

in the United States.

- It's okay, Buddy.

I could actually use

Lil' Dynomite's help right now.

* *

- Okay, anyone else a little freaked out

that Ray isn't answering his phone?

- And I can't locate him anywhere

on the Find My Stupid Boss app.

- We can handle this one without him.

- We just got our buns buttered.

- Let me paint you a little picture

about what's about to happen.

In a few seconds, Schwoz is going to come up...

[snaps fingers] That tube and say,

"Hey, it's me, Schwoz, from work.

And I just figured some thingsies out."

Then we're gonna get a clue.

We're gonna follow said clue to punch city,

body some bad guys, save the day,

and then go to Flakey Jake's Pizza

for some 'za that's totally mid!

But the video games are on point.

[device beeping]

- Hey, it's me, Schwoz, from work.

And I figured some thingsies out!

* *

Okay, everyone in The Cell wears a mask

that records video of everything they see.

- Ah, man, someone put pickles on my hoagie.

This is the worst day of my life!

- This is what you wanted us to see,

some guy crying about his pickles?

- No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This! - And then you're gonna go

to the Man's Nest and steal the weapon.

- Credenza? - Yes, master.

- And this is where the secret key is hidden.

- Uh, but I didn't get to eat lunch

'cause my hoagie had pickles on it,

and I can't do evil stuff on an empty stomach.

- Here, you can have mine.

- Gah! [scoffs]

This one has pickles on it, too!

Ah!

- Oh... - My God.

- Credenza is the leader of The Cell?

- Uh, Mika, can you un-pause that?

I wanna see what happens with this guy's pickles.

- My friend, if Credenza is the leader of The Cell,

that means she's been playing our guy, Ray, the entire time.

- According to the cave painting,

Credenza isn't planning on marrying Ray.

She's planning on leading him to his death!

- By poisoning him with a pickled hoagie.

- No, by calling down some kind of hero-slaying comet monster!

We gotta teleport to Credenza's right now and save Ray.

- Okay, but can we figure out what happens

with this guy's pickles later? all: No!

- Sure.

* *

all: Ray!

- You're in danger! - Where are you?

- Ray? - Sneak attack!

- Huh? - What are you--

- Buddy, what are you doing? It's us!

- Exactly.

- [shouts] - Ah!

- Why'd you try to blast us, dude?

- My mom told me everything--

that you guys are secretly evil,

and you'd show up here saying she's the leader of The Cell

and try to destroy her!

- But she is evil!

- And she is the leader of The Cell!

- And I was definitely planning on destroying her.

- I don't believe you.

My mom's not evil.

I mean, my dad, sure, I can buy it.

But my mom? No way!

- We can prove it. - Liars!

There's nothing you can do to convince me

that my mom is evil!

- And then you're gonna go to the Man's Nest

and steal the weapon.

- Oh, wow, look at that. My mom is evil.

- Who's the liar now, Buddy?

- That would be my mom. - No, it's--yeah.

Yeah, he gets it. Yeah, it's his mom, yeah.

- Can someone please un-net me?

- I'll try calling Ray again.

[line trilling]

[cell phone ringing distantly]

Looks like Credenza already got him.

- What are we gonna do?

- Let me paint you another little

picture about what we're gonna do.

- I love it when she paints pictures.

- She's gonna get all Van Gogh up in here!

- We're gonna teleport over to The Cell's hideout.

We're gonna crack a bunch of skulls,

save Captain Man and your mom

so we can send her to prison.

Then we're gonna go to Flakey Jake's Pizza

for some of that mid 'za.

But the video games are gonna be on point.

- Put it in the Louvre! - Pretty picture.

- Yeah! - Other than the part about

my mom going to prison, I'm also on board.

- All aboard the pain train! [all cheer]

- This is nothing like the picture you painted.

- Well, how was I supposed to know they were gonna be

waiting for us?

- Why is everyone waiting for us with weapons

every time we teleport today?

- You all left the camera rolling on the mask.

- What is Blaine Kirkpatrick doing in my house?

- I don't know who said that,

but I'm establishing dominance.

- [sniffs] Do I smell Flakey Jake's?

[sniffs] Yo, let me hit that.

- Flakey Jake's is for the comet monster!

Now we must finish preparing for his arrival.

For He is coming.

all: Truly, He is coming.

- All right, very funny.

Who ordered the pizza with the pickles on it?

[laughter]

- Okay, I've got some good news and some bad news.

The good news is Ray's not here,

so that probably means he's safe.

- [huffs] What's the bad news?

- We're trapped, we can't warn him,

and I think all those Flakey Jake

pizzas have pickles on 'em.

- You gotta be kidding me.

All of these pizza have pickles on them!

[all snickering]

- If only there was a way to get a message

to Captain Man. - There is!

See that bird over there?

That's a Swellview Songbird,

and they're famous for relaying short,

desperate messages to certain people.

- Well, none of us speak songbird.

- Well, it just so happens that I do.

- That's cap.

- You're a liar, just like your mom.

- You made that up.

- [whistling] [bird chirping]

- I'll be danged. That's not cap.

- You see, my dad, Drex...

all: Established. - Taught me how to speak it...

all: Aw. - Right before he left us.

all: Ooh. - Been there.

- But he's back now, and everything is fine.

- Lucky. - Dudes, quit making us

all uncomfortable with your painful past

and just tell the bird to tell Captain Man

that we've been captured by The Cell and we need help.

- [whistling]

[bird chirping]

- Wait, I wanted you to tell it to tell Ray

that Credenza's the leader of The Cell.

- Swellview Songbirds can only remember 15 words.

all: Oh, like Twitflash.

[epic music]

- How do I look, Best Man?

- Amazing, Even Better Man.

- [chuckles] - I still don't understand

why we couldn't get separate dressing rooms.

- It's about bonding, brother. - Oh.

- Agh! Where'd this bird come from?

- Huh. - Well, kill it first.

Ask questions later. - Hold on.

I think she's trying to tell us something.

[bird chirping]

Uh-huh. Oh.

She's saying that Danger Force has been captured by The Cell

and they need your help.

I thought you retired.

- Good thing I always carry a fresh gumball for emergencies

and the ability to cut in line at amusement parks.

- Need some help?

- Never. But you know what?

I wouldn't mind if you tagged along,

you know, for old time's sake.

- What's the plan?

- Let me paint you a little picture

about how this is gonna go down.

You and me drop in, blasters blazing,

absolutely roast everybody in the room,

save Danger Force,

and then I retire for real

and sail off into the sunset with your ex-wife.

Sound good?

- Thanks for coming to save us.

- You know, everything would have been just fine

if someone hadn't made me bring them along.

- [gasps] You're seriously

blaming me for this? - I would have been

just fine by myself. - Oh, my God!

- Hi, babes.

Now, Raymond, I could have sworn

you told me you retired.

- And I could have sworn you didn't tell me you're evil.

- [laughs] Well, I was going to eventually.

- Classic Credenza.

That's what she always says when she gets caught in a lie.

- Classic Drex, always coming in second.

all: Ooh!

- Ow. Jeez!

- Were you ever gonna tell me?

Or do I come in second for you, too?

- Well, if my math is right, you'd actually be third.

- Not helping. - Buddy,

you and I are going to do great things together.

For He is coming.

all: Truly, He is coming.

- Okay, what is that all about?

'Cause I used to have a cult,

but we didn't do creepy stuff like that.

- Oh, Miles, you ain't seen nothing yet.

- See, that's what I mean.

She's being super creepy!

- She's right, though.

It's gonna get worse.

- Oh, you think you've got this all figured out, huh?

- I don't think it.

I know it.

- Well, then, let's hear it.

- Well, if my geology is correct,

and it always is,

Schwoz found those cave drawings in a layer of rock

that formed two thousand years ago,

during the last time that comet passed by Earth.

And what did those cave paintings say?

Well, if my cave drawing interpretation skills

are correct... both: And they always are.

- They tell the story of a monster that lives

inside of that comet, the story of people who wait

for that monster, people who build a device

to bring that monster down to Earth.

If my knowledge of creepy

end-of-times cults is correct...

all: And it always is.

- Those people plan to use that monster

to wipe out their enemies and set themselves up

as god-rulers of a new civilization.

And how do I know that?

Well, if my history is correct...

all: And it always is.

- The first person to unleash that monster

started the Sumerian civilization in 4,000 BCE.

The second person, Mentuhotep II,

who two thousand years later,

became the first in line of pharaohs

that ruled the Middle Kingdom of Egypt.

- This is really impressive.

- Which brings us to today.

"Credenza the First" plans to call down

an all-powerful space monster and set herself up

as the divine ruler of all of Swellview.

- You know, it sounded crazy when I first heard it, too.

And then I remembered

my great-grandmother told me to have faith.

For He is coming.

all: Truly, He is coming.

[foundation rumbling]

- In fact, He may even be here.

- Credenza, it's not too late to end this.

- It's not too late for you to join me,

for once He's under my control,

you, me, and Buddy can rule the Earth

like the god-kings we were meant to be.

- Ruling the Earth does sound pretty great.

[overlapping objections]

No, but if I'm gonna be enthroned

as some kind of god-king,

I'm gonna do it the American way,

at the ballot box.

- Dude, what? - Why would you even

bring that up? - That's not how that works.

- Exercise your rights, kids,

while you still can. [overlapping chatter]

- Suit yourself, Ray.

Arise, for He is coming.

[device thrumming]

all: Truly, He is here.

- Last chance to jump on the winning team, babe.

- Quiet, Ray. I'm winning.

- You're not.

Because those cave drawings weren't just a prophecy.

They were a warning!

You can't control this thing!

[disembodied moaning]

- [gasps]

[gasps] What's going on?

- It's searching for a host.

- A host? - Someone that can control it.

- I am supposed to control it!

- Uh-huh. Well, too bad, so sad,

because according to those cave drawings,

this thing can only be controlled by a child!

- No! - Buddy!

[disembodied snarl]

Buddy?

No.

[dramatic music]

* *

- No! - Buddy!

- [roars]

- Hey. Hey, man, hey.

- Listen to me, son.

[disembodied hissing]

- Did Evil Buddy just get bigger?

- Yep.

- [roars]

- Hey, ugly!

You just smoked my best man, amigo.

So I'm gonna have to send you back

to whatever rock you flew in on.

[body thuds]

[all screaming]

- No... - Heckin'...

- Way.

- Exclamation point.

- [gasps] I feel weird.

[all scream]

Huh, did you all suddenly get taller?

- Ray's supposed to be indestructible!

How did that thing-- - I think the smoke monster

can do whatever it wants to whoever it wants.

- Oh, yeah.

Where is that smoke monster anyway?

You can run, but you can't hide, you coward!

- Better question, how is Ray not--

- Well, if my biology is correct...

all: And it always is.

- A severed head can survive for hours

as long as it gets on ice within 33 seconds.

- Severed head? Gross.

Where is it?

- Put it in the sushi!

- The shrimp cocktail. - The shrimp cocktail!

- I'm not picking it up!

- Use your power. - Right.

Power kick! - Hey, what are you--

- Wait! - [screams]

[grunts, groans]

- I meant your superpower.

- Well, I'm sorry.

Next time I have to move a severed head,

I'll remember that.

- Guys, I'm gonna ask you a question.

This severed head you keep talking about,

is it me?

all: Yes.

- [groans] Well, this is just great.

My fiancée is evil.

My best man's a pile of laundry.

And I just dropped two grand on a tuxedo

for a body I don't even have anymore!

- You think you have problems?

- All right, you got me. It was actually eight grand.

- Your fiancée's kid just got infected

by an angry cosmic smoke monster!

- Oh, did he? Here, let me get up and help him real quick.

Oh, wait, I can't.

- * Always on the scene in the nick of time *

* The second I see trouble I know I'll be fine *

* I'm okay *

* I'm okay! *

* Danger *

[vocalizing]

* *

* Danger! One, two, three, Force! *

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