All language subtitles for Danger Force s03e12 The Battle for Swellview 1.eng

- Previously
on "Danger Force"...

- You watched a fresh episode
of "Genuine Moments"...

- Buddy and I--
- Without me?

- Are you serious?

- The MILES system.

This is the only
way to teach Ray

how to forgive Credenza.

- Dad, what are you doing here?
It's not your weekend.

all: Drex is your dad?

- Do you all know each other?

all: No!

- Credenza, will you make me
the happiest man in the world

by taking
this heart-shaped diamond ring

and being my wife?
- You know I will.

The beacon is complete.

[machine whirs]
For He is coming.

[thunder rumbles]

[epic music]

- Surprise.

There's a comet
headed right at us.

- Stop, drop, and roll!

[loud thud]

- No, Mary,
the comet isn't going

to crash through the roof
and set you on fire.

- Tell that to my uncle who got
hit in the face by a comet.

- Here to talk Mary out
from under the desk

is self-proclaimed
comet enthusiast,

Lil' Bobby Newser.

Lil' Bobby,
get the heck in here.

- Thanks for having me,
Trent, Mary.

- Duck and cover, Little Bobby!

- Folks, we got a real
showstopper on our hands here.

This particular comet
only swings by Earth

about once
every two thousand years.

- That's a lot of sleeps.

- It sure is, Mary.

[monitor bleeps]
- Dude!

- We were watching
Lil' Bobby Newser!

- You just turned off the
only reason I trust the news.

- Guess what?
I'm getting married!

- We know.
- Really?

Well, do you know I'm
getting married to Credenza?

- [gasps]
- Yeah.

- Yeah, we know that, too.
- Well, did you know that--

- Nothing you're about to say
is going to surprise us!

- I'm retiring,
effective immediately.

- What?
- Retiring?

- Effective?
- Immediately?

- That's right.

My superhero days
are super over.

I bought a boat.

I'm getting married.

I'm about to sail off
into the sunset with my boo.

Huh.

- Don't you get hecka sick
on boats?

- Used to, till I got these
sea- sick stability glasses.

- Hey, I'm not
taking a picture.

I'm just texting my dog.

He's a good boy.
- [chuckling]

Send that to me.

- Yeah, well, you can
also text your fake dog

that I'm done fighting crime.

- Come on, Ray.
- What are you doing?

[somber music]

* *

- Hey, you're going
a bit too far now--

oh, that is a lot
of fire juice.

- Captain Man out.

[fire roars]
- Whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Pump the brakes, man!

- Settle Down.

- You just announced
you're retiring,

poured way too much
fire juice in there,

torched your uniform,

and you're telling us
to settle down?

- Nah, I was telling you
the name of my new boat.

I named her Settle Down.

Ugh!
[groans]

'Cause I'm settling down.

- Yeah, we get it.

- This all seems to be
happening a little fast.

Oh!
- He is getting old, though.

- This was always the plan.

I was supposed to retire
after Henry graduated.

But he bailed on me,
so then I trained

you little weirdos to take
over, and now you're ready--

although Miles,
your arm is currently on fire.

- So it is.

You sure you don't want
to pump the brakes a bit?

- If anything,
I wanna pump the gas

on my boat with my boo.

- You and Credenza have only
been dating for half a season

of "Genuine Moments."

She doesn't even know
your secret identity.

- Yeah, dude,
are you sure she's on board?

- Oh, I am on board
the SS Settle Down.

- [screams]

- Greetings, citizen.

It is I, Delivery Joe.

- And it is me,
George Glass...es.

- You guys,
Credenza knows your real names.

- Are you kidding me?

- She's about to be my wife.

I told her all my secrets--

and all of yours.

- Those weren't yours
to reveal.

- Ah, let's see.
What else?

Oh, I told you about the
secret key to the Man's Nest.

- Told me about
the secret weapons wall.

- Yeah.
- Ooh, even told me about

the hidden fridge
with the oat milk.

- Oh, yeah.
- It's so good.

[laughs]
So good.

[belches]
- Mm.

Love you, babe.

- Love you more, babe.

- Just gonna
put that right back, huh?

- We should skedaddle.

- Oh, yeah.

- About to drop
my babe off at home

and then get fitted for my
wedding tux with my best man.

Lil' guy who's been with me
my whole life,

through thick and thin.

- Schwoz?

- What?
No, gross.

Drex.
[device beeps]

Later, taters.

Down the tube!

- Something doesn't smell right
about Ray retiring.

- Something doesn't smell right

about Credenza's
chonky oat burp.

- You guys, you're
never gonna believe this.

- Ray's retiring?

- What?
- What?

- Also, Drex is
gonna be his best man.

- What?

- Yeah, sorry, bro.

- So what's your big news?
- Okay, so remember

how a few days ago,
Bose found another

cave painting
in this new diamond mine?

- No, but continue.

- Anyway, I noticed that some
of the symbols look similar

to the symbols
in the other cave paintings.

- We think whoever made
those cave paintings

made these ones, too.

- And they're not
just directions

for building an evil device.

These panels tell a story!

- We think
it's about a baby chicken

who wears a cowboy hat.

- N-no.

We think it's about
a Hero Slayer who's coming

to Swellview to deliver
the world to its followers.

- Yawn.
- No, that actually seems bad.

- It's just some drawings
on a wall.

- That's what I thought, too,

until I saw the comet.

- Wait!

Lil' Bobby Newser
was just saying

there's a comet
headed this way.

- Did he mention anything
about a baby chicken

who wears a cowboy hat?

- Let me show you.

This drawing is the final, uh,

verse of a prophecy...
- A prediction.

- That says a monster
is coming...

- In a comet...
- To slay a hero...

- To take over the world
with its followers.

- This story's way too scary.

What if I turn the monster
in the comet

to a baby chick
with a cowboy hat?

- What?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

- Schwoz, what else
does the wall say?

- It says...
- [squeals]

- That a hero
from Swellview will arise

to fight the monster.

- Probably talking about me.

- But it says

the monster will kill the hero.

- Probably talking about Ray.

- Is that one of those masks

that the Cell dudes wear?

- You're right.

- Okay,
things just got creepy.

- They're right behind you.

- Come on, don't
mess with us like that.

- No, I'm serious!
They're right behind you!

[tense music]

- Bye-bye.

[both groaning]

- It all just
kind of happened.

[overlapping chatter]

You get that?

- * Danger *

[vocalizing]

* *

* Danger!
One, two, three, Force! *

- We look amazing.

- You've been posing for hours.

[all shouting at once]

- That's right,
keep walking, Schwoz.

Keep walking.

[epic music]

- We need a plan.

[grunts]
How about we--

- Start frying these chickens?

On it.
[electricity crackling]

- Yah!
- What the--

where did he--oh!

[both grunting]

Yah!

- Ugh!

[groans]

- Ugh!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wait, what's going--

hey, hey!

- [screams]

- Whoa!
[grunts]

- [panting]
- Oh, my God, are you okay?

- Yeah.

But those Cell guys
just saw all of our faces.

- I don't think they care.

- Yeah, I think
they've got bigger plans.

- Who are you calling?
- Ray.

We need to warn him
that The Cell is alive.

* *

[cell phone ringing]

- Uh, hang on, babe.
It's work.

I gotta take this.
- I thought you said

you were retired, babe.

- Yeah, babe, but they
might need my help, babe.

- Babe, if you love me,

you won't pick up
that call, babe.

- [huffs]
Okay, babe.

- [chuckles]

- Aw, babe!

- Oh.

Oh.

[garbage disposal whirring]

- I love the spontaneity, babe,

but the address of the tux shop
was on there--

- Ohh.
- Eh, don't worry about it.

I'll just drive around
till I find it.

- I know you will, babe.

- Looking forward
to a lifetime of this, babe.

- Okay.
- [chuckles]

Okay.

- Uh, Mom?

Did you drink my secret bottle
of oat milk

that I keep under my bed?

- Uh, you know I did.

Also, we need
to talk about something.

- Is it setting
healthy boundaries

about looking under beds,
because--

[bottle clatters]

Those aren't mine.

- I found 'em under your bed,

right next to this book called

"How to Keep
Your Superhero Identity

a Secret From Your Mom."

- That was not supposed
to be published

in the United States.

- It's okay, Buddy.

I could actually use

Lil' Dynomite's help right now.

* *

- Okay, anyone else
a little freaked out

that Ray
isn't answering his phone?

- And I can't
locate him anywhere

on the Find My Stupid Boss app.

- We can handle this one
without him.

- We just got
our buns buttered.

- Let me paint you
a little picture

about what's about to happen.

In a few seconds,
Schwoz is going to come up...

[snaps fingers]
That tube and say,

"Hey, it's me,
Schwoz, from work.

And I just figured
some thingsies out."

Then we're gonna get a clue.

We're gonna follow said clue
to punch city,

body some bad guys,
save the day,

and then go
to Flakey Jake's Pizza

for some 'za
that's totally mid!

But the video games
are on point.

[device beeping]

- Hey, it's me,
Schwoz, from work.

And I figured
some thingsies out!

* *

Okay, everyone in The Cell
wears a mask

that records video
of everything they see.

- Ah, man, someone
put pickles on my hoagie.

This is the worst day
of my life!

- This is
what you wanted us to see,

some guy crying
about his pickles?

- No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This!
- And then you're gonna go

to the Man's Nest
and steal the weapon.

- Credenza?
- Yes, master.

- And this is where
the secret key is hidden.

- Uh, but I didn't get
to eat lunch

'cause my hoagie
had pickles on it,

and I can't do evil stuff
on an empty stomach.

- Here, you can have mine.

- Gah!
[scoffs]

This one has pickles
on it, too!

Ah!

- Oh...
- My God.

- Credenza is the leader
of The Cell?

- Uh, Mika,
can you un-pause that?

I wanna see what happens
with this guy's pickles.

- My friend, if Credenza
is the leader of The Cell,

that means she's been playing
our guy, Ray, the entire time.

- According
to the cave painting,

Credenza isn't planning
on marrying Ray.

She's planning on leading him
to his death!

- By poisoning him
with a pickled hoagie.

- No, by calling down some kind
of hero-slaying comet monster!

We gotta teleport to Credenza's
right now and save Ray.

- Okay, but can we figure out
what happens

with this guy's pickles later?
all: No!

- Sure.

* *

all: Ray!

- You're in danger!
- Where are you?

- Ray?
- Sneak attack!

- Huh?
- What are you--

- Buddy, what are you doing?
It's us!

- Exactly.

- [shouts]
- Ah!

- Why'd you try
to blast us, dude?

- My mom told me everything--

that you guys
are secretly evil,

and you'd show up here saying
she's the leader of The Cell

and try to destroy her!

- But she is evil!

- And she is
the leader of The Cell!

- And I was definitely
planning on destroying her.

- I don't believe you.

My mom's not evil.

I mean, my dad,
sure, I can buy it.

But my mom?
No way!

- We can prove it.
- Liars!

There's nothing you can do
to convince me

that my mom is evil!

- And then you're gonna go
to the Man's Nest

and steal the weapon.

- Oh, wow, look at that.
My mom is evil.

- Who's the liar now, Buddy?

- That would be my mom.
- No, it's--yeah.

Yeah, he gets it.
Yeah, it's his mom, yeah.

- Can someone please un-net me?

- I'll try calling Ray again.

[line trilling]

[cell phone ringing distantly]

Looks like
Credenza already got him.

- What are we gonna do?

- Let me paint you
another little

picture about
what we're gonna do.

- I love it
when she paints pictures.

- She's gonna get
all Van Gogh up in here!

- We're gonna teleport
over to The Cell's hideout.

We're gonna crack
a bunch of skulls,

save Captain Man and your mom

so we can send her to prison.

Then we're gonna
go to Flakey Jake's Pizza

for some of that mid 'za.

But the video games
are gonna be on point.

- Put it in the Louvre!
- Pretty picture.

- Yeah!
- Other than the part about

my mom going to prison,
I'm also on board.

- All aboard the pain train!
[all cheer]

- This is nothing like
the picture you painted.

- Well, how was I supposed
to know they were gonna be

waiting for us?

- Why is everyone waiting
for us with weapons

every time we teleport today?

- You all left
the camera rolling on the mask.

- What is Blaine Kirkpatrick
doing in my house?

- I don't know who said that,

but I'm establishing
dominance.

- [sniffs]
Do I smell Flakey Jake's?

[sniffs]
Yo, let me hit that.

- Flakey Jake's is
for the comet monster!

Now we must finish preparing
for his arrival.

For He is coming.

all: Truly, He is coming.

- All right, very funny.

Who ordered the pizza
with the pickles on it?

[laughter]

- Okay, I've got some good news
and some bad news.

The good news
is Ray's not here,

so that probably means
he's safe.

- [huffs]
What's the bad news?

- We're trapped,
we can't warn him,

and I think
all those Flakey Jake

pizzas have pickles on 'em.

- You gotta be kidding me.

All of these pizza
have pickles on them!

[all snickering]

- If only there was a way
to get a message

to Captain Man.
- There is!

See that bird over there?

That's a Swellview Songbird,

and they're famous
for relaying short,

desperate messages
to certain people.

- Well,
none of us speak songbird.

- Well,
it just so happens that I do.

- That's cap.

- You're a liar,
just like your mom.

- You made that up.

- [whistling]
[bird chirping]

- I'll be danged.
That's not cap.

- You see, my dad, Drex...

all: Established.
- Taught me how to speak it...

all: Aw.
- Right before he left us.

all: Ooh.
- Been there.

- But he's back now,
and everything is fine.

- Lucky.
- Dudes, quit making us

all uncomfortable
with your painful past

and just tell the bird
to tell Captain Man

that we've been captured
by The Cell and we need help.

- [whistling]

[bird chirping]

- Wait, I wanted you
to tell it to tell Ray

that Credenza's
the leader of The Cell.

- Swellview Songbirds
can only remember 15 words.

all: Oh, like Twitflash.

[epic music]

- How do I look, Best Man?

- Amazing, Even Better Man.

- [chuckles]
- I still don't understand

why we couldn't get
separate dressing rooms.

- It's about bonding, brother.
- Oh.

- Agh!
Where'd this bird come from?

- Huh.
- Well, kill it first.

Ask questions later.
- Hold on.

I think she's trying
to tell us something.

[bird chirping]

Uh-huh.
Oh.

She's saying that Danger Force
has been captured by The Cell

and they need your help.

I thought you retired.

- Good thing I always carry
a fresh gumball for emergencies

and the ability to cut in line
at amusement parks.

- Need some help?

- Never.
But you know what?

I wouldn't mind
if you tagged along,

you know, for old time's sake.

- What's the plan?

- Let me paint you
a little picture

about how this is
gonna go down.

You and me drop in,
blasters blazing,

absolutely roast
everybody in the room,

save Danger Force,

and then I retire for real

and sail off into the sunset
with your ex-wife.

Sound good?

- Thanks for coming to save us.

- You know, everything
would have been just fine

if someone hadn't
made me bring them along.

- [gasps]
You're seriously

blaming me for this?
- I would have been

just fine by myself.
- Oh, my God!

- Hi, babes.

Now, Raymond,
I could have sworn

you told me you retired.

- And I could have sworn
you didn't tell me you're evil.

- [laughs] Well,
I was going to eventually.

- Classic Credenza.

That's what she always says
when she gets caught in a lie.

- Classic Drex,
always coming in second.

all: Ooh!

- Ow.
Jeez!

- Were you ever gonna tell me?

Or do I come in second
for you, too?

- Well, if my math is right,
you'd actually be third.

- Not helping.
- Buddy,

you and I are going
to do great things together.

For He is coming.

all: Truly, He is coming.

- Okay, what is that all about?

'Cause I used to have a cult,

but we didn't do
creepy stuff like that.

- Oh, Miles,
you ain't seen nothing yet.

- See, that's what I mean.

She's being super creepy!

- She's right, though.

It's gonna get worse.

- Oh, you think you've got
this all figured out, huh?

- I don't think it.

I know it.

- Well, then, let's hear it.

- Well, if my geology
is correct,

and it always is,

Schwoz found those cave
drawings in a layer of rock

that formed
two thousand years ago,

during the last time
that comet passed by Earth.

And what did
those cave paintings say?

Well, if my cave drawing
interpretation skills

are correct...
both: And they always are.

- They tell the story
of a monster that lives

inside of that comet,
the story of people who wait

for that monster,
people who build a device

to bring that monster
down to Earth.

If my knowledge of creepy

end-of-times cults
is correct...

all: And it always is.

- Those people plan
to use that monster

to wipe out their enemies
and set themselves up

as god-rulers
of a new civilization.

And how do I know that?

Well,
if my history is correct...

all: And it always is.

- The first person
to unleash that monster

started the Sumerian
civilization in 4,000 BCE.

The second person,
Mentuhotep II,

who two thousand years later,

became the first in line
of pharaohs

that ruled
the Middle Kingdom of Egypt.

- This is really impressive.

- Which brings us to today.

"Credenza the First" plans
to call down

an all-powerful space monster
and set herself up

as the divine ruler
of all of Swellview.

- You know, it sounded crazy
when I first heard it, too.

And then I remembered

my great-grandmother
told me to have faith.

For He is coming.

all: Truly, He is coming.

[foundation rumbling]

- In fact, He may even be here.

- Credenza,
it's not too late to end this.

- It's not too late
for you to join me,

for once He's under my control,

you, me, and Buddy
can rule the Earth

like the god-kings
we were meant to be.

- Ruling the Earth
does sound pretty great.

[overlapping objections]

No, but if I'm
gonna be enthroned

as some kind of god-king,

I'm gonna do it
the American way,

at the ballot box.

- Dude, what?
- Why would you even

bring that up?
- That's not how that works.

- Exercise your rights, kids,

while you still can.
[overlapping chatter]

- Suit yourself, Ray.

Arise, for He is coming.

[device thrumming]

all: Truly, He is here.

- Last chance to jump
on the winning team, babe.

- Quiet, Ray.
I'm winning.

- You're not.

Because those cave drawings
weren't just a prophecy.

They were a warning!

You can't control this thing!

[disembodied moaning]

- [gasps]

[gasps]
What's going on?

- It's searching for a host.

- A host?
- Someone that can control it.

- I am supposed to control it!

- Uh-huh.
Well, too bad, so sad,

because according
to those cave drawings,

this thing can only be
controlled by a child!

- No!
- Buddy!

[disembodied snarl]

Buddy?

No.

[dramatic music]

* *

- No!
- Buddy!

- [roars]

- Hey.
Hey, man, hey.

- Listen to me, son.

[disembodied hissing]

- Did Evil Buddy
just get bigger?

- Yep.

- [roars]

- Hey, ugly!

You just smoked
my best man, amigo.

So I'm gonna have
to send you back

to whatever rock
you flew in on.

[body thuds]

[all screaming]

- No...
- Heckin'...

- Way.

- Exclamation point.

- [gasps]
I feel weird.

[all scream]

Huh, did you all
suddenly get taller?

- Ray's supposed
to be indestructible!

How did that thing--
- I think the smoke monster

can do whatever it wants
to whoever it wants.

- Oh, yeah.

Where is that smoke monster
anyway?

You can run,
but you can't hide, you coward!

- Better question,
how is Ray not--

- Well, if my biology
is correct...

all: And it always is.

- A severed head
can survive for hours

as long as it gets on ice
within 33 seconds.

- Severed head?
Gross.

Where is it?

- Put it in the sushi!

- The shrimp cocktail.
- The shrimp cocktail!

- I'm not picking it up!

- Use your power.
- Right.

Power kick!
- Hey, what are you--

- Wait!
- [screams]

[grunts, groans]

- I meant your superpower.

- Well, I'm sorry.

Next time I have
to move a severed head,

I'll remember that.

- Guys, I'm gonna
ask you a question.

This severed head
you keep talking about,

is it me?

all: Yes.

- [groans]
Well, this is just great.

My fiancée is evil.

My best man's
a pile of laundry.

And I just dropped
two grand on a tuxedo

for a body
I don't even have anymore!

- You think you have problems?

- All right, you got me.
It was actually eight grand.

- Your fiancée's kid
just got infected

by an angry cosmic
smoke monster!

- Oh, did he? Here, let me
get up and help him real quick.

Oh, wait, I can't.

- * Always on the scene
in the nick of time *

* The second I see trouble
I know I'll be fine *

* I'm okay *

* I'm okay! *

* Danger *

[vocalizing]

* *

* Danger!
One, two, three, Force! *

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