Original subtitles

- Previously on "Danger Force"...

- Things with Credenza and I are getting real serious.

And I was thinking about popping the question.

[all gasp]

- So when do we go find Drex?

- Ah! - You're getting slow, old man.

- Ahh! both: Ahh!

- Huh? - I'm okay.

[both grunting]

- Oh, that felt good.

Budaford J. Fudgers, did you have a party?

- Whoo-hoo-hoo.

I repurposed the evil device as a party light.

- I'm not mad anymore.

all: You're not?

- I have seen the light.

[dramatic music]

* *

[bird cawing]

- Quit messing with the light.

You're gonna ruin the surprise.

- Relax, dude.

Schwoz was just putting your "Marry Me" filter on it.

- Here it comes. Here it comes. Here it comes.

Ahh, Yahtzee.

Aww, I'm gonna take this little guy back

to the Man's Next and help him get his life back together.

I'm sorry, little birdy. You're going to be okay.

- Okay, okay, Buddy and Credenza will be back

any minute now, so everybody just sit down and chill!

- We're chill, my dude.

I think Bose is asleep.

- Congrats to the happy couple.

- Oh, no, no, no, honey.

He didn't pop the question yet.

- Yeah, I'm not gonna ask her to marry me

until after we watch tonight's brand-new episode

of "Genuine Moments," like we always do

together as a loving couple who loves.

- That's gross.

- And it's the last episode before the two-part finale.

- Those always end with some big revelation.

- Third-to-last episodes are great.

- No doubt.

They're amazing.

- Okay, let's all stop talking about how great

third-to-last episodes are and start talking about

how great this heart-shaped diamond is...

[tires screech, cans rattling]

- That's my love hittin' the cans.

Girl can't drive to save her life.

Places, everyone!

- Hey, can someone check on my mom.

She hit the cans again, so I gotta plunger out

some fender dents.

- Ooh, I'll do it, yoink!

- So, Buddy, you excited to watch the third-to-last

episode of "Genuine Moments"?

- Oh, yeah,

almost as excited as I was when me and my mom

watched it live earlier today.

[dramatic music]

- You and your mom watched "Genuine Moments" without Ray?

- Yes.

- You just ended the world, my friend.

- Ray takes pre-watching very seriously.

It's one of his things.

- Other than not opening the door for another man,

it's probably his biggest thing.

- Okay, we need to move all sharp objects

out of this house stat.

- Whoa, whoa. Guys, what's going on?

- Ray was gonna propose to your mom tonight.

- He got her a heart-shaped diamond and everything.

- Really? That's amazing.

- Yeah, but when he find out she watched "Genuine Moments"

without him, he's going to burn this place to the ground.

- He doesn't have to know.

- Mika Eureka Macklin, are you suggesting we lie?

- I'm suggesting Buddy keeps his mouth shut

for the next hour.

- Yeah, we just gotta keep this quiet.

- You're gonna be cool, right?

Buddy. Talk to me, Buddy.

- Ohh, I get the sweats real bad

when I'm holding in a secret.

- Here's a rag. Deal with it.

- Hey, who's excited to watch a brand-new episode

of "Genuine Moments"?

- I know I am.

- I am definitely ready to watch it

for the first time.

- You okay, Buddy?

- We watched it already.

- Buddy! - What?

- How was it?

- What did you just say?

We already watched this episode of "Genuine Moments."

I'm sorry, but I can't keep a secret.

- You watched a fresh episode of "Genuine Moments" already?

- I know. I know, but Buddy and I--

- Without me?

- I don't mind watching it again.

- The moments won't even be genuine.

They'll be lies.

They'll be moments of lies.

- Settle down, babe.

- I need to throw something.

I've gotta--I've gotta throw--oh,

why are there no sharp objects anywhere?

- It was just the third-to-last episode.

It's not like it's the two-part finale or something.

- But the third-to-last episode is what sets it all up.

- Are you serious right now?

- It's sets it all up.

- So we still gonna watch--

- Get in the car, or you're gonna get it!

- I guess not.

- Sorry, sorry, sorry. - Sorry about the show.

- Buddy, you'll be a man someday.

What was that all about?

- Mr. Manchester was gonna propose to you

at the end of this episode.

He had a heart-shaped diamond and everything.

- [gasps] He had a heart-shaped diamond?

- And everything.

[tires screech, cans rattling]

- It sets it all up!

[upbeat music]

- I'm just saying, if the girls have to wear volleyball shorts,

then the men should--oh!

- Hey! - Schwoz?

- What are you doing sleeping outside?

- Ray kicked me out because he wanted to listen

to depressing music alone in the dark.

- He's that sad, huh?

- Look, the music keeps getting sadder and sadder.

Country, grunge, indie...

[somber music]

He's gone full-blown emo.

- No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

- I assume his proposal to Credenza went poorly.

- She watched the third-to-last "Genuine Moments" without him.

- But that's the episode that sets it all up.

- We know, but I think I've got a way to cheer him up.

all: You're...

- That's what YMCA stands for.

Most people don't know that.

- Grief is my only friend now.

- Oh, come on.

Don't you think you're being a little ridiculous?

- What about any of this is ridiculous?

- The three belts, the guy-liner, the music--

- I'll never love again!

- Got any more songs?

- Just gonna do that to your teeth, huh?

- Happy songs aren't gonna do it.

But we gotta fix this, or we're gonna be stuck

with Emo Ray for the rest of our lives.

- So we're all disrespecting teeth now.

- How do we fix it?

- We gotta figure out a way to make Ray forgive Credenza.

- Oh, sure, get Ray Manchester to forgive someone.

That should only take like 40, 50 years.

- We don't have 50 years.

We don't even have 50 hours.

- Okay, who is y'all's dentist?

- And what are you talking about?

- Look, if Ray and Credenza don't get back together

within 48 hours, they'll never date again.

That's Breakup Law.

- How do you know?

- My mom's been married to four vices,

Mondale, Quayle, Pence, and Willard.

Every single time one of them got in a fight

that lasted more than 48 hours, their term was up.

- So we have 48 hours to teach Ray how to forgive?

- If we're lucky.

Could be even less if Credenza goes out with her girls.

[phone chiming]

- Buddy?

- Yeah, we got a real problem.

My mom just bought a new outfit.

- Please tell me it's not a...

both: Hot pink mini dress.

- Hey, girls.

[giggles]

- Credenza is going out with her girls.

[both gasp]

- It all just kind of happened.

[overlapping chatter]

You get all that?

- * Danger *

[vocalizing]

* *

* Danger! One, two, three, Force! *

- We look amazing.

- You've been posing for hours.

[all shouting at once]

- That's right, keep walking, Schwoz.

Keep walking.

[dramatic music]

[howling] - Hey, can I come in yet?

There's a family of coyotes circling me outside.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on in.

- So did you cheer Ray up yet,

or is he still deep in his feelsies?

- Things have gotten worse.

- [gasps]

Credenza is going out with her girls.

- And according to Buddy's latest text,

they're gonna hit the clubs in Lil' Miami.

- Oh, not Lil' Miami.

- And her sloppy friend Becky is coming.

- Oh, not Becky.

Ahhh!

I thought she was still in jail.

- Ahh. - There you are.

- Did you hear about Becky?

- Whatcha got there? - Ladies and Bose.

I have the solution to all of our problems.

Behold!

- That is a poster for "Paddington Four:

Miles and More."

- The fan fiction movie you made about you and Paddington

solving mysteries in the English countryside.

- Bobbed the wrong poster, I did.

Back in a biff.

- I mean, the Paddington franchise

has solved a lot of my problems.

- Samesies. - Two...goes...hard.

- Mm. - Ahh.

I say behold.

The MILES System.

A five-step path to the Isle of Forgiveness.

This is the only way to teach Ray how to forgive Credenza.

- Dear brother, I love you

as much as Paddington Two loves his Aunt Lucy...

- She did so much for him as a cub.

- She sure did, pal.

- But we need a real system, not something

you made up to fit the letters of your name.

- That's what it spells.

- Dear sister,

do you remember our seventh birthday?

- [scoffs] The one where we got a pizza,

and both of us had seven slices representing each year

of our lives, but there was one slice left,

and we fought over it, and you said,

"Look over there."

For some idiotic reason, I looked over there,

during which time you had the last slice?

Why, yes, dear brother, I do recall the day.

- And do you recall what you said after?

- "I will never forgive you for this."

- And I said, "I understand that you're upset

and expect you may be for some time."

- And then I hurled myself at you.

- Initiating combat.

- When I stopped strangling you, I heard you out.

- You listened. - And we scrapbooked.

- Art and crafts, baby, and now we have a...

both: Sustainable friendship.

- Oh, my God. We're doing the MILES System.

- Yes!

- Sounds good.

We just shove Ray and Credenza together,

watch them fight until they scrapbook.

- Nah, if Ray's actually gonna learn to forgive, like,

in his core, he has to learn to forgive

his biggest enemy.

- You don't mean...

- Himself. - No.

- The slow march of time. - No.

- That guy at Hip Hop Purée who's always like,

"Hey, yo, Ray, can you hold that door open for me?"

- No.

I know who he means.

[dramatic music]

- Drex!

And I'm here about the "free lizard hand removal."

* *

- Sorry, Drex.

- We can't fix your hand.

- Okay, we've all done some pretty messed up stuff

to each other in the past,

but getting my hopes up about my hand,

this hurts the most!

- That's my bad.

I should have done a better job of managing your expectations.

- Yeah, whatever.

Let's just skip to the part where we all beat

the ever-living snot out of each other, and...

somehow I lose?

- I don't think we're here to fight you.

- Quite the opposite, in fact.

- All right. - Here you go.

I didn't ask you to do that. - Fragile masculinity, yes.

- What did you say? - Fragile masculinity.

- Full-blown emo?

What the chud, bud?

- I'm not your bud, chud.

- Okay, gentlemen,

I just want to manage your expectations.

We have brought you here to-- both: Ahh!

- Ahh!

- Looks like they're moving right to step two.

- Initiating combat.

- Ooh-ahh!

all: Ooh.

- [grunts]

all: Ohh!

- Aren't both of these guys indestructible?

- We might be here for a while.

[both grunting]

[upbeat rock music]

[both grunting]

* *

- Ahh! - Oh-ho-ho.

- Come on.

- Ahh!

- [whimpers]

- Ahh! - When is it enough?

- What?

- They're about to listen to each other.

- [breathing heavily]

When is it enough?

I mean, what, we punch and kick each other all night

until somehow you lose?

I mean, we're both indestructible, man.

So I ask, when is it enough?

- I've been carrying around this anger at you for so long,

I don't even know how it started.

And I don't care anymore.

I just want it to end.

- Yeah, but how do we move past all the awful stuff

we've done to each other?

- Through arts and crafts.

[Nickelback's "Photograph]

- * Look at this photograph *

* Every time I do, it makes me laugh *

* I never knew we ever went without *

* The second floor is hard for sneaking out *

* And this is where I went to school *

* Most of the time had better things to do *

* Criminal record says I broke in twice *

* I must have done it half a dozen times *

* If I could relive those days *

* I know the one thing that would never change *

* Every memory of looking out the back door *

* I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor *

* It's hard to say it *

* Time to say it *

* Goodbye, goodbye *

* *

- Well, I guess it's official.

[indistinct chatter]

- This better be permanent.

- More permanent than these temporary tattoos.

- Heck yeah, brother.

[laughter]

- And this is a whole life change for me.

I'm ready to forgive everybody.

Even you, Bose.

- What did I do?

- I don't even know, but I forgive you.

- Well, thanks.

- Hey, I don't want this night to end,

but I feel this overwhelming need to go make things right

with my ex.

- Oh, my God, me too. - Really?

- You guys should do it. - Yeah?

- Go, right now. - Yeah.

- Don't let this moment go to waste, men.

- See you around, friends.

- I'll call you. - I'm picking up.

- For real, I'm not just gonna say we're gonna do it.

We're actually gonna do it. - We're gonna do it.

Okay. - See ya. Love that guy.

- So you ready to forgive Credenza?

- Wouldn't be a whole life change if I wasn't.

Mika, go get your bagpipes.

Chapa, go get the "Marry Me" light.

Miles, I want you to rustle up some rose petals.

Bosie, go get the heart-shaped diamond from the Man's Nest.

And, Schwoz, you got the proposal clothes cannon on you?

- I never leave home without it.

Ohh.

[upbeat music]

- [giggling]

Okay, see you soon, Becky.

- [roaring] - Oh!

Whoo, you sound fun tonight.

Okay.

Buddy, me and my girls are...

- Uh, Mom, before your girls get here,

I think Ray has something he wants to tell you.

[soft music]

* *

- Credenza, in the annals of history...

[bagpipe music]

Too soon.

- You said my cue was "annals."

- Yeah, I forgot there's two annals.

There's another one coming up. - What is going on?

- In the annals of history,

never has there been a love

more lovingly loveable than loving--

- Ahh! - Not yet!

- Finger slipped, I'm sorry. That's my bad.

- Oh, could this possibly get any worse?

- Drex?

all: Drex?

- Dad?

all: Dad?

- I feel like this just got worse.

- Ay, oh, no, no, no, no!

[dramatic music]

- Dad, what are you doing here?

It's not your weekend.

all: Drex is your dad?

- Yeah. - Do you all know each other?

- Funny story. It all just kind of happened.

all: No!

- See, the way that you say "no"

makes me think you do.

- Okay, you should go upstairs.

- Why? - Uh...

because I heard Becky is also wearing a hot pink mini dress,

and if she sees you in the same thing,

she will cut you.

- But tonight is my night.

Why would Becky wear a hot pink mini dress?

- Mom, it's Becky.

Nothing she does should surprise you.

- Oh, my God. You're so right.

- What are you doing here? - What are you doing here?

- I'm trying to make things right with Credenza,

my ex-girlfriend.

- I'm trying to make things right with Credenza,

my ex-wife.

- Oh, what have we done?

[tires screech, cans rattling]

- Man, our cans are taking a beating today.

- It's your mom's girls.

- They're here to take her to Lil' Miami.

- Credenza's going out with her girls to Lil' Miami?

- Yeah, but we have a little time.

Doesn't sound like Becky's here with the party bus yet.

- Becky's coming?

- I can't believe I ever got this stupid tattoo.

- All right, uh, we'll go distract the girls.

You three work this out before Becky gets here.

- What are we gonna do? We can't use our powers.

- It's cool.

I know how to distract women like this.

Excuse me, ladies.

What's your favorite juice cleanse?

- Oh, my God. [indistinct chatter]

- Dad, what are you doing here?

- I made things right with my mortal enemy,

so I came to apologize to your mom

and try to get her back.

- Oh, well, you're gonna have to apologize to her

with a mouth full of blood.

[both grunting]

- Honey? all: Yes.

[both gasp]

- How's this dress?

all: Looks great.

- Oh, thanks.

Okay, I'm gonna go find some earrings

while Ray and Drex keep fighting over me.

all: Sounds good.

- She looks gorgeous.

- Quit looking at her!

[both grunting]

- I'm gonna rip your head off.

- How's it going in here?

- We need more time. - On it.

Hey, have you ladies tried pumpkin spice Pilates?

all: Oh, my God.

- Ahh!

[both grunting]

- Guys, stop.

Dad, I love you, but you and Mom

weren't great together.

You kept leaving to do evil stuff all the time.

- But I'm better now.

I did the MILES System.

I turned a leaf.

Dude, stop.

- I'll stop when you let me propose.

- You were gonna propose?

- Yes.

Ankle kick.

- Oh! - Ray, get up off the ground.

- Ladies, did you read any good books lately

about old women finding their joy again with younger men...

in Europe?

all: Oh, my God.

- [laughing]

- Look, Ray is a lot.

- Yeah, of muscle. What?

- But for whatever reason, he makes Mom really happy,

happier than I've ever seen her before.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Got her a heart-shaped diamond and everything.

- She always did want one of those.

- So if you let Ray propose to Mom before Becky gets here,

there's a chance that we all end up happily ever after

and no one goes to Lil' Miami with the girls.

- All right, Ray, you win again.

Somehow.

- Gross. I'm not touching that thing.

'Cause I'm going in for the hug.

[brakes whooshing]

Is that the air brakes of a party bus?

- Oh, no.

- Becky's here!

- I've never seen anything like her.

- Hide me. Someone hide me.

- My MILES System is getting tested today.

- Have you proposed yet?

- No. - Take your time.

I'll handle Becky.

- Daddy, no!

- It's okay, son.

This is what friends do for friends.

- * Here I go *

* I've waited my whole life to be the hero *

- * Hero *

- Hey, Becky.

Remember me?

- [roars] - Ahh!

- Well, I guess Becky's here.

- Go. - Make it quick.

- I love you.

And I'm sorry I freaked out

about the whole "Genuine Moments" thing.

I'll never do that again.

- I'm sorry I watched it without you.

- I forgive you.

- [squeals] - Yo.

- Box me, Bosie.

Credenza, will you make me the happiest man in the world

by taking this heart-shaped diamond ring

and being my wife?

- You know I will.

[laughs] - Nice.

Annals!

[bagpipe music]

* *

- [roars]

- Becky's wrapping up a juice cleanse.

She's really hungry. Everybody run!

- Go, go, go. - [screams]

- Go, go, go, go. Go, go, go, go, go.

- Sorry, I forgot my keys. Excuse me.

- Where'd you get keys? - I have keys--

- Becky's coming.

- I can handle Becky.

- [roars] - I can't handle Becky!

[eerie music]

* *

- Master.

- You're late.

[dramatic music]

The beacon is complete.

[thunder rumbling]

As I've said, the prophecy will come true,

for he is coming.

- Truly, he is coming.

* *

- * Always on the scene in the nick of time *

* The second I see trouble I know I'll be fine *

* I'm okay *

* I'm okay! *

* Danger *

[vocalizing]

* *

* Danger! One, two, three, Force! *

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