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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:04,993 The following program 2 00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:08,904 is brought to you in living color on NBC. 3 00:00:22,455 --> 00:00:24,389 I'm going up to my room for a few minutes. 4 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,515 All right, Marge. See you later, boys. 5 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,187 Hi, hon. Can I have my key? 6 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,866 J.D. Hi, hon. 7 00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:39,437 I thought you were coming into town the middle of the week. 8 00:00:40,473 --> 00:00:42,464 Uh... afternoon, ma'am. 9 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,245 Well, what do you think? I think we need to have a beer. 10 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,583 No, no, no. I mean... 11 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,248 I mean about her. 12 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,916 About who? What are you talking about? 13 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,052 My girl. 14 00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:08,194 You mean that was your girl? Mm-hmm. 15 00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:09,699 Oh, ain't she wonderful, hmm? 16 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,167 That... that's Margie, 17 00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:12,430 the one you're going to bring out to supper? 18 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:13,596 Mm-hmm. 19 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,207 You didn't even act like you knew her! 20 00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:17,866 Yeah, yeah, I know, it... 21 00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:20,878 sometimes happens to me when I get around her. 22 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:25,212 I don't know, I just kind of get all tied up inside. 23 00:01:25,351 --> 00:01:28,218 Boy, ain't she something though, hmm? 24 00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:32,484 Uh, Joe, uh, better give us three beers. 25 00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:40,564 Whoa! Hold! Whoa! 26 00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:49,334 All right, my man, let's get that package off of there. 27 00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,467 You can't keep the Duke waiting, you know. 28 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,408 Disgustingly provincial. 29 00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:55,639 Oh, come off it. 30 00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,909 Come on, now, let's get a move on with that baggage. 31 00:01:58,051 --> 00:01:59,450 I thank you. 32 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,721 Ah, there you are, my man. 33 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,349 You have reservations for the Duke of London 34 00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:08,859 and his entourage? 35 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,528 Let's have a little service now. 36 00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:13,427 Oh, madam... 37 00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:15,090 your hand. 38 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,463 Hmm? 39 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:19,037 I kiss the hand of the most beautiful, uh... 40 00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,605 lady I've seen 41 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:23,038 since I've been in this beastly country. 42 00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,175 Here, here. 43 00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:37,280 Hold your horses now, Dukie. 44 00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:39,050 It's the men what pays our wages 45 00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:40,682 and it's the ladies what takes them away. 46 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,159 You understand? Come on, let's go in the pub. 47 00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:45,287 Me gullet's fair crying out for a nip. 48 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,692 Joe, set up some drinks for the boys. 49 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:50,962 Did Adam come in with you? 50 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:52,401 No, left a couple days ago, Roy. 51 00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:54,473 He had to make a little trip to San Francisco. 52 00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:57,132 Make way for the Duke of London! 53 00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:03,175 All right, you blokes, now, out of the way. 54 00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:06,843 Give the Duke some elbow room. 55 00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:09,682 Drinks for the house. 56 00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:11,187 You'll have to get in line, stranger. 57 00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:12,518 Drinks are bought for this round. 58 00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,354 The Duke of London waits for no one. 59 00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:16,485 Come, fellow, a bottle. 60 00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:26,369 You... a drink on the Duke of London. 61 00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:29,998 I'm sorry, mister, but Little Joe already bought me a drink. 62 00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:39,308 Gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 63 00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:45,649 The Duke of London, 64 00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,623 Champion of the British Empire, 65 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,924 on a world tour, challenges all comers. 66 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,761 Any man who stands four rounds 67 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:59,133 will be paid $500 American money. 68 00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:02,207 Do you dare, Yankees? 69 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:53,755 Yankees... a nation of dolts and cowards. 70 00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:55,861 Oh, knock it, Bobo. 71 00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:59,556 We'll take a pound or two from 'em, don't you worry. 72 00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:02,862 You know, you really showed that crowd something down there. 73 00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:04,492 You was real prime. 74 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,401 Look at this filthy place. 75 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:11,101 Virginia City... nothing but a foul pigpen. 76 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,768 Ah, come off it. 77 00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,209 We've seen worse, 78 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:17,180 although I must say, I have never tasted such bad whiskey. 79 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,343 Oh, what I wouldn't give for some good ol' London ale. 80 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,647 You and your liquor. 81 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,485 Can't you stop guzzling even for a moment? 82 00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:28,821 Why should I? 83 00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,451 Every man to his own sin, I say. 84 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,861 You could hardly call yourself a man. 85 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,992 You're like the rest of these donkeys around here 86 00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:40,037 who have to wear guns to protect themselves. 87 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,199 We'll have to be extremely lucky to get a fight in this town. 88 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:47,245 Ah... you just keep on playing the game, Bobo. 89 00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,813 We'll get our fight. 90 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,041 You know, you've got a knack, you have. 91 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,209 I have never known of any one man 92 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,516 who could get so many other men hating him in such a short time. 93 00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:58,851 You're a marvel, that's what you are, 94 00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:01,653 and you know, when they hate you enough, 95 00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,659 that's when we get our fight, 96 00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:05,661 so you go on being your own natural self. 97 00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,527 You drunken sot. 98 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:11,068 Ah, you can call me names, Bobo, but you can't escape me. 99 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,899 Oh, will you shut up? 100 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,631 Oh, I know you too well. 101 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:17,572 Every time you get like this, it's because of some skirt. 102 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,008 It wouldn't be the little barmaid you took a fancy to, 103 00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,545 now, would it? 104 00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,672 You don't suppose she's out playing a little slap and tickle 105 00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:25,511 with one of these here American cowboys 106 00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:27,516 while the handsome Duke of London is pacing 107 00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:29,177 up and down the floor, now, do you? 108 00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:40,096 Now, you leave the women to me 109 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,791 because I handle them a lot better 110 00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:46,030 than you handle this filthy rubbish you are drinking. 111 00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:01,419 Gee, you know, this is... this is just great. 112 00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,385 I mean, it's just wonderful of you, Mr. Cartwright, 113 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:04,820 to-to go to all this trouble 114 00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:07,084 inviting me out for supper and everything. 115 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,887 We're very happy to have the opportunity 116 00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:11,553 of making your acquaintance, Miss Fuller. 117 00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:14,495 J.D. talks so much about you. 118 00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,226 Uh, will you have some dessert? 119 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,337 Hmm? Oh, uh, yeah, thanks. 120 00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,531 Uh... oh, a-an-and just call me Marge. 121 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:24,905 Uh, everybody does. 122 00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:27,604 Oh. 123 00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:29,738 Uh, honey, do you want some pie? 124 00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:31,975 No, thanks, sir... I mean, ma'am. 125 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,513 Well, you boys had quite a time in town, didn't you? 126 00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:39,716 This prizefighter... what did you say his name was? 127 00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,793 Uh, the Duke of London, Pa. 128 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,259 I ain't never seen a duke before, 129 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,863 but if they're all like that feller, 130 00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:46,555 I don't never care nothing about seeing another one. 131 00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:48,098 I wish you'd been along with us, Pa. 132 00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:50,259 This man makes more enemies just walking into a room 133 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,132 than anybody I ever saw in my life. 134 00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:54,364 Well, you boys did right to ignore him. 135 00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,600 Well, you should have seen what he did to me, Mr. Cartwright. 136 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:58,266 He stopped me right in the middle of the lobby 137 00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:00,242 and grabbed my hand and kissed it. 138 00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:03,041 Well, if I'd have known that, I'd have taken a wallop at him. 139 00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:12,121 Well, J.D., hand kissing in Europe is quite common. 140 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,885 Probably just a gesture. 141 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,822 Not the way he did it, it wasn't. 142 00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:19,158 He looked at me like he owned me or something. 143 00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:20,959 Yeah, I should have walloped him. 144 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:24,160 I'm afraid you wouldn't have stood much of a chance, J.D. 145 00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:25,827 The man is a professional prizefighter. 146 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,600 Do you know, his fists are considered 147 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:30,402 lethal weapons by law? 148 00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:33,205 Well, I got a couple of lethal weapons of my own. 149 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,904 Now, you hold on there. 150 00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:36,241 Don't you get any big ideas. 151 00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:38,782 Just because you're big and strong doesn't mean 152 00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,909 that you're a match for a professional prizefighter. 153 00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:42,145 Just stay away from this Duke 154 00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,915 or whatever it is that he calls himself. 155 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:45,853 No amateur can stand up to a professional. 156 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,926 Just keep out of his way. 157 00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,085 I'm afraid we're not being very polite to our guest. 158 00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:51,628 Oh, that's all right, don't mind me. 159 00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:53,254 I kind of enjoy it, talking about him. 160 00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:54,923 I sure never met a man like him before, 161 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,261 and I've met a lot of 'em. 162 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,030 You sure got a nice place here. 163 00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:04,734 You know, I... I never lived in a house in all my life. 164 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,105 Me neither. 165 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:07,837 You will, J.D. 166 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,880 Whenever you get married, 167 00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:12,610 uh, you'll take over the house down by the forks. 168 00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:16,244 J.D., why don't you take Marge outside, 169 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,413 show her around the place? 170 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,990 Could we, J. D? 171 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,217 I'd love to see it. 172 00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:21,553 Well, it's pretty dark out there; 173 00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,127 I don't know what she could see. 174 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,756 Well, there's a full moon. 175 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,232 She ought to be able to see enough. 176 00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,564 You go ahead; the boys will clean up the dishes. 177 00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,570 Clean up the dishes? 178 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,775 Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. 179 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,469 You-you go ahead, J.D. 180 00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:44,709 Well, uh, okay. 181 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,684 Oh. 182 00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:11,675 I thought I was going to bust out laughing 183 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:12,903 right in front of the both of them. 184 00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:13,909 Me, too, Joe. 185 00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,138 Old J.D.'s collar was so tight, 186 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,249 I thought his eyes were gonna pop out. Yeah. 187 00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:19,851 Thing I can't figure out is how J.D. ever got up enough nerve 188 00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:21,647 to talk to her in the first place. 189 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,585 A gal like that usually starts a conversation herself, Pa. 190 00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,749 A girl like what? 191 00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:30,726 Well, I-I mean, she's, uh... 192 00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:32,296 well, she's a dance hall girl. 193 00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:35,127 I thought she was very nice. 194 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:36,529 What did you think, Hoss? 195 00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,830 I... I thought she was very nice. 196 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,461 Hey, now, wait a minute, I didn't say 197 00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:41,766 I didn't think she was very nice. 198 00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:43,340 Pa, it's... 199 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,966 it's just that old J.D. and her 200 00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:47,511 just don't seem to go together for some reason or other. 201 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,841 I don't know. 202 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,313 That's right, that's all I meant by it, Pa. 203 00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:55,511 You know how J.D. is... he's so shy and everything, 204 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,885 and, I don't know, I just don't think it'll ever work out. 205 00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,787 It'll work out... 206 00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:01,916 if he loves her. 207 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,086 J.D. Huh? 208 00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:07,927 Honey, are you afraid of me? 209 00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:11,264 No, ma'am, of course not. 210 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:14,202 Uh, now, over there, that's the smokehouse. 211 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,500 See it, right? 212 00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:19,975 Uh, you can just see the smoke there 213 00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:23,604 coming out of the... smokehouse. 214 00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:25,046 Well, if you're not afraid of me, 215 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:28,153 then why don't you look at me when you talk to me? 216 00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:30,118 Well, I was looking at the smokehouse. 217 00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,746 It's right o... right o... J.D., ju... 218 00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:33,791 turn around and look at me. 219 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:34,790 Yes, ma'am. 220 00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:36,792 Now, that's better. 221 00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:40,092 You know, I, um... I liked what you said in there, 222 00:11:40,232 --> 00:11:43,360 I mean, about being willing to fight the Englishman over me. 223 00:11:43,502 --> 00:11:46,562 It was a real nice thing to say. 224 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,834 Well, I don't think fellows ought to go around kissing girls 225 00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:51,943 when... well, 226 00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,511 I mean, if they're not... 227 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:57,275 You know, sometimes a girl doesn't mind being kissed. 228 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,985 Well, if you liked it, that's... 229 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,088 that's your business, 230 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,690 but those flashy guys always seem to fool the women, 231 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,019 but he don't fool me. 232 00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:08,888 I wasn't talking about him, J.D., 233 00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,723 but at least he wasn't afraid. 234 00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:12,296 Well, you think I am? 235 00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:15,229 I'm willing to try and find out. 236 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:20,201 Well, I may not be as fancy as that big bag of wind, 237 00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:22,307 but I ain't afraid of anything, including him. 238 00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:24,432 I bet you're afraid to kiss a girl. 239 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:27,470 Yeah? 240 00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:29,808 Mm-hmm. 241 00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,974 Well, are you? 242 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,245 No, I'm not. 243 00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:37,219 I mean, when I find a girl I want to kiss, 244 00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:41,087 she's going to get good and kissed. 245 00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:42,626 Oh! 246 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,593 I'll get the buggy. 247 00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:46,527 Ah. 248 00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:48,326 I guess Pa was right. 249 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:51,334 J.D. is in love with her. 250 00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:52,767 How you know? 251 00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,738 Well, if he wasn't, he would have kissed her. 252 00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,503 Joe, that don't make sense. 253 00:12:58,644 --> 00:13:00,475 Now, look, Hoss, I know you're older than I am, 254 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,841 but there's certain things 255 00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,449 I've had a little more experience in than you have. 256 00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,642 And this just happens to be one of them. 257 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,117 Yeah. 258 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,916 I'll bet you he kisses her on the way home. 259 00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:14,321 Ah. Oh, he'll-he'll try to kiss her. 260 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,587 She's not gonna let him. 261 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,831 Dag-burn it, Joe, that just don't make sense. 262 00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:33,606 Now, Mr. Duke... 263 00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:37,011 One does not address a duke as "mister," now does one? 264 00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:40,380 I'm not anxious to address you in any way, shape or form. 265 00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:43,010 I just want to warn you that... About what?! 266 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:46,215 I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself... 267 00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,053 Constable. 268 00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:51,288 Now, we don't address a sheriff as a constable, now, do we? 269 00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:54,831 I just want to point out that as a professional fighter, 270 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:56,457 if you use your fists on anyone, 271 00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:59,070 I'm going to jail you for assault with a deadly weapon. 272 00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:02,299 Oh, then, in the event that I am attacked, 273 00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:05,239 I will not even be allowed to defend myself? 274 00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:06,708 Now, you know better than that. 275 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,905 Besides, I have a feeling that nobody around here 276 00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:11,812 is going to be foolish enough to try a thing like that. 277 00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,419 So I suggest you just move on your way. 278 00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:17,522 Is there anything else before you leave? 279 00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:20,090 I think that'll be enough. 280 00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,323 Still waiting, eh, Bobo? 281 00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:32,234 Maybe she ain't coming home tonight. 282 00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:35,899 Oh. 283 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,134 Now you're giving me the silent treatment. 284 00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:41,644 First you knock me about, then you act as if I wasn't here. 285 00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,408 Well, I am here, Bobo, and you know I'm here. 286 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:49,351 And when you need me, I'll be working late in me office. 287 00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:52,423 In other words, in the pub. 288 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,110 Marge... 289 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,181 I-I... I don't know what... 290 00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:18,806 what came over me. 291 00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:20,851 I'm just... I-I'm sorry it happened. 292 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,613 It's all right, Mr. Lambert. It's forgotten. 293 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,451 Well, look, look, I... I don't blame you for slapping me. 294 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,785 I... I had it coming. 295 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,157 But, well, you looked so... so pretty there 296 00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:31,786 with the moonlight in your hair. 297 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,729 I just, all of a sudden, had to kiss you, Marge. 298 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,164 I'm... I'm... 299 00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:38,532 You clumsy fool. 300 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,935 You stupid oaf. 301 00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:44,338 How dare you even address this lady? 302 00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:46,103 Come on, J.D. Come on. 303 00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:50,272 You scum, you coward, you yellow-belly! 304 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,652 How very brave you are, 305 00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:01,658 with a gun pointed at someone who is completely unarmed. 306 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,695 Your bravery overwhelms me to such a point 307 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:08,095 that I can no longer tolerate the sight of you. 308 00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:16,500 Well, come, my good fellow. 309 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,270 Are you not going to pull the trigger? 310 00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:21,379 J.D., don't-don't get mixed up with him. 311 00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:24,414 Go on home. 312 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,853 Fair fight! 313 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,151 He hit him first. Now, you all saw it. 314 00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:35,487 The Yank hit him first! It's a fair fight. 315 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:01,649 All right, all right! 316 00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:03,379 You saw what happened. 317 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,513 Surely you have a better man in Virginia City! 318 00:17:05,657 --> 00:17:07,147 J.D. Honey... 319 00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,226 And if you haven't, I suggest you send for one, 320 00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:12,228 because the champion here expects to have a fight 321 00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:14,355 in this fair town of yours. 322 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,633 Somebody get a doctor. He's hurt bad. 323 00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:22,570 Hank, you and Mike take him over to Doc, will you? 324 00:17:26,011 --> 00:17:27,740 So, you found one, eh? 325 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,507 After I told you the law. 326 00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:31,206 Well, you're going to the calaboose. 327 00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:32,510 Oh, no, he ain't. 328 00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:33,879 The Yank hit him first. 329 00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:36,010 Every bloke here saw it. 330 00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:41,348 Is that right, Joe? 331 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:43,051 Yeah, that's right. 332 00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:45,163 J.D. hit him first. 333 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,990 You had better get these laundered. 334 00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:52,265 No hard feelings, Sheriff. 335 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,395 Come on in, and I'll buy you a drink. 336 00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:00,973 I'm sorry you couldn't have seen me 337 00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:03,047 up against a more worthy opponent. 338 00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,810 One could hardly call it a fight, could one? 339 00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:09,443 Of course, I could, uh, tell from the outset 340 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:13,684 that you were a woman who, uh, needed a man, not a boy. 341 00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:16,556 Well, now you've found one. 342 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:30,539 The doctor said 343 00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:33,702 he never saw so much damage done by a man's fist. 344 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,143 And you know the funny thing? 345 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,577 The boys that saw it said 346 00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:38,478 it looked like he was just tapping him. 347 00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:39,982 I'll tell you something else, too. 348 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,883 J.D. ain't the easiest man in the world to take. 349 00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:44,648 I've seen him take three miners, 350 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,156 one night in Virginia City, single-handed. 351 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:50,125 Roy, what started it? 352 00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:52,890 Well, from what I understand, it was that girl Marge. 353 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:56,489 The man's a professional. He ought to be jailed! 354 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,968 But J.D. took the first swing. 355 00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,905 Well, it was good of that very nice girl 356 00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,272 to let him get his head knocked off on her behalf. 357 00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:08,743 I don't care if J.D. did swing first. 358 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,542 I'll guarantee you he didn't start it. 359 00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:11,808 Come on, Joe. All right. 360 00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,110 You boys stay right where you are. 361 00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:15,243 Stay right here? Look at J. D! Just look at him! 362 00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:16,786 You want us to stand here and do nothing?! 363 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,184 That's exactly what I want you to do... 364 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,483 stand there and do nothing. 365 00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,217 You can't gun down a man for-for defending himself. 366 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,827 Now, J.D. was warned! He was warned! 367 00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:26,124 It's my... my fault, Mr. Cartwright. 368 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,191 Don't nobody tackle him. It... 369 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:30,494 It was my fault. 370 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:33,070 Nobody's going to do that to a friend of ours. 371 00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:34,570 I agree with Joe, Pa. 372 00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:37,368 I don't care who you agree with. You're staying out of it! 373 00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:38,533 Oh, Marge... 374 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:42,306 Oh, Marge saw it. She... 375 00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:45,678 She saw me make a fool of myself. I... 376 00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:48,047 I can never see her again. 377 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,052 Pa, I can hurt that man. No. 378 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,521 If I can get one hand on him. Boy, if I can get... 379 00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:53,886 I said no! 380 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,323 Hoss? 381 00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:57,690 They say he strikes faster than a rattlesnake! 382 00:19:57,829 --> 00:20:00,389 Yeah, well, you just wait till I get my hands on him. 383 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,830 Just the point. He won't hold still long enough! 384 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,095 Yeah, well, if Hoss can't catch him, the two of us can! 385 00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:06,261 Just be quiet, both of you. 386 00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:09,431 Now, just be quiet and listen to me! 387 00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:10,735 Now, first, as I said, 388 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,276 J.D. was warned not to mix with the Duke. 389 00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:16,074 Second, I've seen professional fighters at work. 390 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,775 When I was young... and that wasn't so long ago... 391 00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,407 I thought I was pretty good, too. 392 00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,782 Well, one of them showed me how good I was. 393 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:24,513 That's when this was broken for the first time. 394 00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:25,884 I couldn't think straight for a week! 395 00:20:26,024 --> 00:20:27,514 But, Pa, I'm bigger than you! 396 00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:29,183 You may be bigger than I am, 397 00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:31,193 but you're no tougher than I was in those days. 398 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:32,422 A man just wasn't designed 399 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:34,657 to be beaten up the way a prizefighter can do it! 400 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,495 There's another way and a better way. 401 00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:37,863 Yeah, like what? 402 00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:39,561 If he's so anxious to have a fight, 403 00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:41,138 we'll get him another professional prizefighter 404 00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:42,467 to fight with. 405 00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:44,269 Pa, there ain't no professional prizefighters 406 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,433 around here nowhere. 407 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,306 No, but I know where there is one. 408 00:20:47,446 --> 00:20:49,846 I'll send a wire to Adam in San Francisco. 409 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,711 There's a fighter there, a great fighter... 410 00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:53,044 Heenan, the Benicia Boy. 411 00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,777 We'll pay him to get here as fast as he can. 412 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,387 Roy? Yeah? 413 00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:58,489 If I write out the wire, will you take it into town? 414 00:20:58,624 --> 00:21:01,354 I'll take it to San Francisco myself if I have to. 415 00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:09,060 Still like to get my hands on that Duke. 416 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:22,412 Hey, did you hear that, J. D? 417 00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:25,243 Gonna-gonna get that Benicia Boy to take care of the Duke. 418 00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:26,874 Yeah. He's a real champ, J.D. 419 00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,350 He'll take care of that Duke. 420 00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:31,012 Marge saw it. Marge s... 421 00:21:31,156 --> 00:21:33,818 Marge saw him make a fool of me. 422 00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:39,461 He ain't hearing nothing we're saying. 423 00:21:54,379 --> 00:21:57,177 I'd still like to get my hands on that Duke. 424 00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,580 No, we're gonna have to do what Pa said. 425 00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:02,812 Course that don't mean we can't ride into town tomorrow 426 00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:06,446 and sort of break the news about the Benicia Boy. 427 00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:09,185 I'd kind of like to see the look on the Duke's face 428 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,159 when we tell him that. 429 00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:13,355 Yeah. 430 00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:15,898 Sort of like to see that Duke fella myself. 431 00:22:16,034 --> 00:22:17,831 Now, wait a minute. 432 00:22:17,969 --> 00:22:21,871 No, I said we're gonna break the news to him, not his neck. 433 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,099 Agreed? 434 00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:27,742 Agreed, little brother. 435 00:22:33,952 --> 00:22:35,647 And another thing. 436 00:22:35,787 --> 00:22:37,516 Where's your dartboard? 437 00:22:37,656 --> 00:22:38,850 My what?! 438 00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:40,855 Your dartboard! 439 00:22:40,992 --> 00:22:43,483 Now a pub ain't a pub... How is he? How's J. D? 440 00:22:43,628 --> 00:22:46,028 Oh, a little late to be asking, ain't it? 441 00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:48,029 Is he all right? Oh, yeah, he's fine. 442 00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:50,361 He's got a busted nose, lost a few teeth. 443 00:22:50,502 --> 00:22:51,901 Otherwise, he's feeling just fine. 444 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:55,097 Ah, he-he ain't too pretty. 445 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,639 It's gonna be a while 446 00:22:56,775 --> 00:22:59,141 before he feels like doing any courting again, too. 447 00:23:00,345 --> 00:23:03,212 I know everybody thinks that it's my fault. 448 00:23:04,516 --> 00:23:06,507 Would you take a message to him? 449 00:23:06,651 --> 00:23:09,119 Would you tell him that I want to see him? 450 00:23:09,254 --> 00:23:11,552 Oh, I don't think he's going to want to see anybody 451 00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:13,954 for a while, especially you. 452 00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:19,230 You'll have to excuse us, ma'am. 453 00:23:19,364 --> 00:23:21,559 We have some business to take care of. 454 00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:25,635 He'll line you up 455 00:23:25,771 --> 00:23:28,365 and take you on two at a time, he will... 456 00:23:28,507 --> 00:23:30,441 the whole blinking town. 457 00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:35,239 'Cause there ain't a man, god or demon could whip the Duke. 458 00:23:35,380 --> 00:23:37,211 I trained him from a little whippersnapper, 459 00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:39,783 I did, and he's the greatest. 460 00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:43,684 Got a fist like a rock, and an eye like a hawk. 461 00:23:43,822 --> 00:23:46,484 So bring on your finest. 462 00:23:46,625 --> 00:23:48,923 Well, that's exactly what we intend to do... 463 00:23:49,060 --> 00:23:50,322 bring on the finest. 464 00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:51,827 You? 465 00:23:53,398 --> 00:23:55,593 You're funnier than that bloke last night! 466 00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:58,066 No, no, not me, little man. 467 00:23:58,203 --> 00:24:00,171 I'm talking about the Benicia Boy. 468 00:24:01,206 --> 00:24:03,538 Benicia Boy? 469 00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:07,505 Aw... 470 00:24:07,646 --> 00:24:09,739 you're trying to fool old Limey. 471 00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:12,611 You think I'm drunk, so you're playing jokes on me. 472 00:24:12,751 --> 00:24:16,084 No, this ain't no joke, little man. 473 00:24:17,589 --> 00:24:19,853 Well, I can't believe it. 474 00:24:19,991 --> 00:24:21,583 Well, you can believe it. 475 00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:25,255 Benicia Boy Heenan? 476 00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:27,456 Hey, uh, Joe, it looks like the little man 477 00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:28,930 that did all that loud bragging 478 00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:31,535 ain't so sure of himself now, don't it? Yeah. 479 00:24:31,670 --> 00:24:34,002 Hey, it couldn't be that you and the Duke 480 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,664 are a little afraid of the Benicia Boy, could it? 481 00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:38,537 Afraid?! 482 00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:46,480 Oh, that's a rich one! Afraid! 483 00:24:46,618 --> 00:24:49,678 The Duke of London afraid of Benicia Boy? 484 00:24:49,821 --> 00:24:52,153 You know what? We've been chasing him 485 00:24:52,290 --> 00:24:54,224 all across the country, 486 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:58,193 and now he gets delivered to us on a silver tray! 487 00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:01,766 Ha-ha! Oh, wait till the Duke hears this bit of news! 488 00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,494 He'll be pleased fit to bust! 489 00:25:06,805 --> 00:25:08,739 Oh, that's a rich one! 490 00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:11,968 How about a beer? 491 00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:13,975 Hmm. 492 00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:20,849 Give me a left again. 493 00:25:20,986 --> 00:25:23,284 Show us the old one-two now. 494 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:34,363 All right, now come in low. 495 00:25:34,499 --> 00:25:37,024 He sure dances around pretty, don't he? 496 00:25:37,168 --> 00:25:38,396 Yeah. 497 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:41,529 Now, whatever you do, don't show them the big wallop. 498 00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:44,870 We got to make them bet on Benicia Boy, remember? 499 00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:46,875 That's it. 500 00:25:47,012 --> 00:25:49,173 All right, now, jab. 501 00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:54,648 All right, another jab. 502 00:25:54,786 --> 00:25:55,980 That's it. 503 00:25:56,121 --> 00:25:57,952 Oh, Roy. 504 00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:00,589 All right, jab. 505 00:26:00,725 --> 00:26:03,285 You didn't get a telegram from Adam yet, did you? 506 00:26:03,428 --> 00:26:05,191 Nope. 507 00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:06,524 It's been a week. 508 00:26:06,665 --> 00:26:08,530 Could be the wires are down again. 509 00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:10,862 Oh, no, no, I checked that. 510 00:26:12,737 --> 00:26:15,103 What happens if the Benicia Boy don't show up? 511 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,264 Oh, please. 512 00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:18,103 Will you fight him yourself? 513 00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,904 Well, the time was when you would. 514 00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:22,172 Yeah, well, this isn't the time. 515 00:26:22,314 --> 00:26:25,044 I'll just have to give him that thousand-dollar purse. 516 00:26:25,183 --> 00:26:26,741 A thousand dollars?! 517 00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:29,786 That's what I had to guarantee him for the fight. 518 00:26:31,289 --> 00:26:34,383 Get those knuckles in there, Bobo. 519 00:26:34,526 --> 00:26:37,859 He kind of holds his fist fancy like, too. 520 00:26:37,996 --> 00:26:41,625 Get those knuckles in there. 521 00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:44,929 Yeah, they could really slice a man to pieces. 522 00:26:45,070 --> 00:26:47,265 Well, he might slice some men to pieces, 523 00:26:47,405 --> 00:26:51,034 but he'd have to hit a whole lot harder than that to cut me up. 524 00:26:51,176 --> 00:26:54,612 Yeah, maybe so, but not after a few rounds. 525 00:26:54,746 --> 00:26:56,179 Mm-mm. 526 00:26:56,314 --> 00:26:59,249 Well, I'd sure give a pretty to try him anyhow. 527 00:26:59,384 --> 00:27:02,148 Now, when they come in with a short punch... 528 00:27:05,523 --> 00:27:08,583 Hey. Look who came to watch the Duke. 529 00:27:08,727 --> 00:27:10,592 All right, another jab. 530 00:27:13,365 --> 00:27:14,593 J. D! 531 00:27:14,733 --> 00:27:16,894 Honey, are you all right? 532 00:27:17,035 --> 00:27:19,367 I'm, uh... I'm fine. 533 00:27:20,538 --> 00:27:23,939 Uh, excuse me, I'm... I'm in a hurry. 534 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,908 J.D., how you doing? 535 00:27:37,722 --> 00:27:38,984 Marge. 536 00:27:39,124 --> 00:27:40,819 Excuse me, Roy. 537 00:27:40,959 --> 00:27:43,587 Marge, what's wrong? 538 00:27:43,728 --> 00:27:45,286 What's right? 539 00:27:45,430 --> 00:27:48,194 All you want to do is reach up for something better, 540 00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:51,700 and everybody says, "No, you stay in your place." 541 00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:55,328 Oh, Marge, you know it doesn't matter what people think. 542 00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:58,772 Nothing mattered until J.D. 543 00:27:58,910 --> 00:28:02,107 Looks like that's over, too, doesn't it? 544 00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:13,916 She sure looked pretty, didn't she? 545 00:28:14,059 --> 00:28:15,993 Oh, come on, don't tell me 546 00:28:16,127 --> 00:28:18,755 you're still sweet on her after what happened? 547 00:28:18,897 --> 00:28:21,058 Well, it wasn't her fault. 548 00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:23,861 I think that's enough for one day. 549 00:28:24,002 --> 00:28:26,300 I've got something better to do. 550 00:28:26,438 --> 00:28:28,998 Yeah... and I know what it is. 551 00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:31,165 And it's fair asking for trouble. 552 00:28:31,309 --> 00:28:34,210 Women! They'll be the death of both of us. 553 00:28:34,345 --> 00:28:37,439 Aw, come on, let's get a beer, huh? 554 00:28:48,626 --> 00:28:50,651 That feller's just plain ordinary mean. 555 00:28:50,795 --> 00:28:52,660 For two cents, I'd... Come on. 556 00:28:52,797 --> 00:28:54,025 Come on, let's go. 557 00:30:04,068 --> 00:30:06,059 No more tears, eh? 558 00:30:06,204 --> 00:30:07,728 What do you want? 559 00:30:07,872 --> 00:30:11,899 Oh, there's no need to be coy with me. 560 00:30:12,043 --> 00:30:14,341 I saw you watching the workout. 561 00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:16,174 You get out of here. 562 00:30:16,314 --> 00:30:17,838 Oh, come, my dear. 563 00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:21,315 You might fool the majority of these clods around here, 564 00:30:21,452 --> 00:30:23,511 but you don't fool me. 565 00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:26,852 I know you and your kind. 566 00:30:26,991 --> 00:30:29,983 And I know what's bothering you. 567 00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:36,932 Guns! 568 00:30:37,068 --> 00:30:39,798 You're like all the men in this godforsaken country... 569 00:30:39,938 --> 00:30:41,963 the first thing they turn to is guns. 570 00:30:42,106 --> 00:30:43,596 Let go of me! 571 00:30:43,741 --> 00:30:46,369 Oh, there's no need to lie to me. 572 00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:50,242 I know you and your kind only too well. 573 00:30:50,381 --> 00:30:54,977 You're trying to be better than you really are, but you can't. 574 00:30:55,119 --> 00:30:57,053 Deep down inside your heart 575 00:30:57,188 --> 00:31:01,147 you know you can't, and you know you never will. 576 00:31:30,989 --> 00:31:33,514 What are you laughing at? 577 00:31:33,658 --> 00:31:35,387 Oh, come on... 578 00:31:35,526 --> 00:31:39,986 don't tell me you've never been laughed at by a woman before. 579 00:31:40,131 --> 00:31:42,258 Hold your tongue! 580 00:31:53,778 --> 00:31:56,679 You won't be laughing when I get through with you. 581 00:32:00,652 --> 00:32:02,210 Let her go, Bobo. 582 00:32:05,156 --> 00:32:06,748 Oh, it's you. 583 00:32:06,891 --> 00:32:09,291 Yes, and it'll always be me. 584 00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:10,826 It happened again, didn't it? 585 00:32:10,962 --> 00:32:12,327 Another one laughed at you. 586 00:32:12,463 --> 00:32:14,363 I told you it would happen again. 587 00:32:25,710 --> 00:32:26,972 You're through. 588 00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:29,579 I've taken all I'm going to take from you, 589 00:32:29,714 --> 00:32:32,205 you despicable little guttersnipe. 590 00:32:37,522 --> 00:32:38,750 J. D! 591 00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:39,914 Marge. 592 00:32:40,058 --> 00:32:41,548 Well, what happened? It's Duke. 593 00:32:41,693 --> 00:32:43,058 He's beating that poor little man. 594 00:32:43,194 --> 00:32:44,821 He's gonna kill him. Where are they? 595 00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:47,158 They're in my room. He broke into my room. 596 00:32:47,298 --> 00:32:49,732 Come on, Joe. Right. 597 00:32:49,867 --> 00:32:50,799 I'll be right back. 598 00:32:50,935 --> 00:32:52,402 J.D. 599 00:32:52,537 --> 00:32:54,095 Don't leave me. 600 00:32:54,238 --> 00:32:56,900 Don't ever leave me. 601 00:32:57,041 --> 00:32:59,908 I need you so much. 602 00:33:00,044 --> 00:33:02,239 You need me? 603 00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:05,907 I need you. Ah... 604 00:33:06,050 --> 00:33:08,245 Limey! Limey? 605 00:33:08,386 --> 00:33:10,513 Yeah, I'm in here. 606 00:33:11,856 --> 00:33:13,721 Are you gonna make it, Limey? 607 00:33:13,858 --> 00:33:15,951 Take it easy, now. 608 00:33:16,094 --> 00:33:18,392 I want you to sit real easy now on the bed. 609 00:33:18,529 --> 00:33:20,156 I'll be all right. 610 00:33:20,298 --> 00:33:21,492 See... That's it. 611 00:33:21,632 --> 00:33:24,294 it's just the Duke's way of doing things. 612 00:33:24,435 --> 00:33:27,427 My brother don't always see matters my way. 613 00:33:27,572 --> 00:33:29,096 Yeah. 614 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,539 Yeah. You wouldn't have guessed it, would you? 615 00:33:32,677 --> 00:33:35,271 Me and the Duke... brothers? 616 00:33:35,413 --> 00:33:36,573 Brothers? 617 00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:39,415 Yes. 618 00:33:39,550 --> 00:33:42,781 You see, his real name's Clarence Simpson. 619 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,718 Mine's Harry Simpson. 620 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:48,052 When he was a little tyke, 621 00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:50,956 we called him Bobo. 622 00:33:51,095 --> 00:33:52,824 The baby, he was. 623 00:33:52,964 --> 00:33:56,832 Then they put us in one of them homes, 624 00:33:56,968 --> 00:33:59,266 but I got us out of there. 625 00:34:00,638 --> 00:34:03,630 Oh, you've no idea how I worked and slaved 626 00:34:03,775 --> 00:34:07,370 to put that boy through school. 627 00:34:07,512 --> 00:34:10,413 See, I... I wanted to make a gentleman out of him. 628 00:34:10,548 --> 00:34:11,480 I... 629 00:34:11,616 --> 00:34:13,106 Here. Limey, you just take it easy. 630 00:34:13,251 --> 00:34:16,243 You might be hurt serious and don't even know it. No... 631 00:34:16,387 --> 00:34:20,847 What he said hurts much more than what he done. 632 00:34:20,992 --> 00:34:23,358 He can do without me, he says. 633 00:34:23,494 --> 00:34:24,825 Just don't seem possible 634 00:34:24,962 --> 00:34:27,760 that a man could treat his own brother like that. 635 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:30,129 He's always been the same. 636 00:34:30,268 --> 00:34:32,327 I taught him, you know. 637 00:34:32,470 --> 00:34:35,030 He was going to the dogs, he was. 638 00:34:35,173 --> 00:34:36,697 I made him a boxer. 639 00:34:36,841 --> 00:34:38,172 You see, that... 640 00:34:38,309 --> 00:34:41,403 that's how I earned the money to pay for his schooling. 641 00:34:41,546 --> 00:34:44,481 Then when I got too old to fight, I... 642 00:34:44,615 --> 00:34:46,708 I taught him the trade. 643 00:34:46,851 --> 00:34:48,375 And now he... 644 00:34:48,519 --> 00:34:50,714 he says he can do without me. 645 00:34:50,855 --> 00:34:52,880 Maybe you're better off without him, Limey. 646 00:34:53,024 --> 00:34:55,549 I taught him good, too. 647 00:34:55,693 --> 00:34:57,752 I wanted him to be the champ. 648 00:34:57,895 --> 00:35:01,126 And he might be, if he'd only leave the skirts alone. 649 00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:03,392 Did he hurt Marge? 650 00:35:03,534 --> 00:35:05,195 Well, he would have. 651 00:35:05,336 --> 00:35:08,897 Yes, he would have; he's done it before. 652 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:12,032 Oh, I... might as well face up to it. 653 00:35:12,176 --> 00:35:14,041 He's just no good. 654 00:35:14,178 --> 00:35:16,544 So now I'm through with him, you understand? 655 00:35:16,681 --> 00:35:18,114 I'm through with him. 656 00:35:18,249 --> 00:35:20,774 He thinks he don't need me? 657 00:35:20,918 --> 00:35:22,886 He'll find out. 658 00:35:23,020 --> 00:35:25,011 Just let him find out. 659 00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:32,959 Joe, I don't care what Pa says; this is too much. 660 00:35:33,097 --> 00:35:36,498 Yeah, first J.D., then Marge, and now this. 661 00:35:36,634 --> 00:35:37,896 Joe. 662 00:35:39,504 --> 00:35:40,528 I'm with you. 663 00:35:40,671 --> 00:35:41,933 Let's go. 664 00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:46,944 Duke? 665 00:35:47,078 --> 00:35:48,841 Duke! 666 00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:51,039 Well, well, well, the Cartwright clan. 667 00:35:51,182 --> 00:35:53,173 Have you got the Benicia Boy with you? 668 00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:54,978 No. 669 00:35:55,119 --> 00:35:56,916 But we brought a message. 670 00:35:57,054 --> 00:35:59,682 Then deliver it and be on your way. 671 00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:01,792 All right. 672 00:36:07,832 --> 00:36:09,697 You wanted a fight. 673 00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:11,699 Well, now, buster, you got it. 674 00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:13,963 I'll take you on for money, marbles or chalk, 675 00:36:14,105 --> 00:36:15,299 you just name it. 676 00:36:46,470 --> 00:36:49,496 Ben, I don't like this one little bit. 677 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,665 Well, neither do I, but Hoss challenged him, 678 00:36:51,809 --> 00:36:54,243 so the only thing we can do now it to see 679 00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:55,572 that everything is conducted properly. 680 00:36:55,713 --> 00:36:57,544 You think Hoss can handle him? 681 00:36:57,682 --> 00:36:59,650 A match like this? 682 00:36:59,784 --> 00:37:02,582 I only hope he doesn't get hurt badly. 683 00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:06,156 Here. You better study these London prize ring rules. 684 00:37:08,292 --> 00:37:09,520 Yeah. How you feeling, Hoss? 685 00:37:09,660 --> 00:37:11,184 I feel great, little brother. 686 00:37:11,329 --> 00:37:13,354 Good. Just lean back, take it easy. 687 00:37:13,497 --> 00:37:15,556 That's it. 688 00:37:18,436 --> 00:37:21,667 $25 on Hoss against $100 on the Duke. 689 00:37:24,308 --> 00:37:27,175 Now, I said I was through with him, and I mean it. 690 00:37:27,311 --> 00:37:29,404 I ain't going near his corner, so help me. 691 00:37:29,547 --> 00:37:30,844 But I got to warn you. 692 00:37:30,982 --> 00:37:33,143 You're going to get hurt mortal bad, boy. 693 00:37:33,284 --> 00:37:35,980 Ah. I've been hurt before. 694 00:37:40,391 --> 00:37:43,224 Now, don't you worry. Hoss can take care of himself. 695 00:37:44,562 --> 00:37:46,553 Here, give me some of that four-to-one money 696 00:37:46,697 --> 00:37:48,164 on Hoss Cartwright. 697 00:37:48,299 --> 00:37:52,668 $100 on Hoss against $400 on the Duke. 698 00:37:52,803 --> 00:37:54,998 You know, you-you've been very kind to me, my lad. 699 00:37:55,139 --> 00:37:56,663 You can take a tip from me. 700 00:37:56,807 --> 00:37:58,297 You go and try and cover that bet, 701 00:37:58,442 --> 00:37:59,500 because you're gonna lose. 702 00:37:59,644 --> 00:38:00,668 Yeah, well, don't you worry. 703 00:38:00,811 --> 00:38:02,438 My brother knows just what he's doing. 704 00:38:02,580 --> 00:38:04,980 Your brother? 705 00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:07,107 Yeah. 706 00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:11,721 Come on, you feeling all right? 707 00:38:11,856 --> 00:38:13,153 Yeah, yeah, I'm feeling... 708 00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:14,758 Let's go. Hey, wait. 709 00:38:14,892 --> 00:38:17,258 Did you put some of my money on that bet? 710 00:38:17,395 --> 00:38:18,885 50 bucks. I'm only half stupid. 711 00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:21,021 Come on. 712 00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:56,193 Hey! 713 00:39:34,472 --> 00:39:36,406 Ladies and gentlemen, 714 00:39:36,540 --> 00:39:38,906 as you all know, 715 00:39:39,043 --> 00:39:41,773 this match is being held 716 00:39:41,912 --> 00:39:43,812 against my will. 717 00:39:43,948 --> 00:39:46,508 Oh, no. 718 00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:48,049 However... 719 00:39:50,087 --> 00:39:52,555 ...since it has been joined, 720 00:39:52,690 --> 00:39:56,319 it will be conducted fairly and properly 721 00:39:56,460 --> 00:39:59,588 according to the London prize ring rules. 722 00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:02,096 "Rounds shall continue 723 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:06,693 "until one or both of contestants are down. 724 00:40:06,837 --> 00:40:09,032 "When a man is down, 725 00:40:09,173 --> 00:40:11,767 "his seconds may conduct him to his corner 726 00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:14,605 for the rest period." 727 00:40:16,347 --> 00:40:19,646 Would you like, uh, a second assigned to your corner, sir? 728 00:40:25,856 --> 00:40:27,721 "At the end of 30 seconds, 729 00:40:27,858 --> 00:40:29,792 "the referee will call time, 730 00:40:29,927 --> 00:40:31,895 "and the contestants must rise 731 00:40:32,029 --> 00:40:33,894 "and come to the mark. 732 00:40:34,031 --> 00:40:37,432 "Either man failing to toe the mark 733 00:40:37,568 --> 00:40:40,128 "at the end of eight seconds 734 00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:42,535 "after the referee calls time, 735 00:40:42,673 --> 00:40:45,267 "shall be deemed defeated. 736 00:40:45,409 --> 00:40:49,607 The judgment of the referee will be final and absolute." 737 00:40:49,747 --> 00:40:52,545 Now, ladies and gentlemen, 738 00:40:52,683 --> 00:40:56,551 you all know the referee, 739 00:40:56,687 --> 00:40:58,985 your sheriff, Roy Coffee. 740 00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:00,784 Yeah. Yay! 741 00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:10,123 Now, you men have heard the rules. 742 00:41:10,267 --> 00:41:12,132 Timekeepers ready? 743 00:41:13,771 --> 00:41:17,764 The contestants will toe that mark. 744 00:41:17,908 --> 00:41:19,375 Ready? 745 00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:23,006 Time! 746 00:41:23,147 --> 00:41:25,445 All right, get him! 747 00:41:25,583 --> 00:41:28,143 Go get him, Hoss. 748 00:41:31,388 --> 00:41:32,787 Come on, look out for that jab! 749 00:41:35,659 --> 00:41:37,320 Yeah! Yeah! 750 00:41:40,264 --> 00:41:42,255 Come on, hit him! 751 00:41:49,673 --> 00:41:51,163 Hoss, take your time! 752 00:41:51,308 --> 00:41:53,708 Come on! 753 00:41:53,844 --> 00:41:55,573 Come on! 754 00:42:09,293 --> 00:42:10,885 Come on, cover up! 755 00:42:14,331 --> 00:42:16,026 Time! 756 00:42:16,166 --> 00:42:19,624 All right, come on. 757 00:42:19,770 --> 00:42:22,238 Get him back, Joe. Get him back to the corner! 758 00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:23,840 Let's go. Let's go. 759 00:42:25,009 --> 00:42:26,772 Look, you got to stay away from that jab. 760 00:42:26,911 --> 00:42:28,538 You got to get inside him. Yeah. 761 00:42:28,679 --> 00:42:29,976 Hit him in the stomach. 762 00:42:30,114 --> 00:42:31,843 You're going to hurt him. Yeah. Right. He... 763 00:42:31,982 --> 00:42:33,973 He's hitting me with that funny little old left, 764 00:42:34,118 --> 00:42:36,313 but I'm gonna get him first with it this time. 765 00:42:38,355 --> 00:42:39,413 Time! 766 00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:41,821 I'm gonna beat him to it. 767 00:42:45,729 --> 00:42:47,094 Come on, take your time! 768 00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:48,926 Come on, hit him! 769 00:42:53,237 --> 00:42:54,727 Stay away from that jab! 770 00:42:58,042 --> 00:42:59,509 Come on. 771 00:42:59,643 --> 00:43:01,076 Come on! 772 00:43:03,047 --> 00:43:04,173 Come on, get him! 773 00:43:07,051 --> 00:43:08,040 Get him, Hoss! 774 00:43:14,825 --> 00:43:15,723 That's it! 775 00:43:34,578 --> 00:43:36,307 Hoss, stay away from it! 776 00:43:41,085 --> 00:43:42,382 Hey! 777 00:43:42,519 --> 00:43:44,453 Hoss? Hoss! 778 00:43:44,588 --> 00:43:46,579 Hoss, come on. Come on. 779 00:43:46,724 --> 00:43:49,158 Look. 780 00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:53,028 Look, Hoss, I think you had enough. 781 00:43:53,163 --> 00:43:55,961 Pa, was right... you can't stay in there with a professional. 782 00:43:56,100 --> 00:43:58,625 Ah, he's going to get a bunch of me, Joe. 783 00:43:58,769 --> 00:44:00,430 I'm going to get some of him. 784 00:44:00,571 --> 00:44:02,766 All right, if that's the way you want it. 785 00:44:07,611 --> 00:44:08,600 Time! 786 00:44:17,721 --> 00:44:20,315 Can you see? 787 00:44:20,457 --> 00:44:22,357 One, 788 00:44:22,493 --> 00:44:25,360 two, three, 789 00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:27,259 four... Yeah. 790 00:44:27,398 --> 00:44:28,990 ...five, six. 791 00:44:34,171 --> 00:44:35,433 Watch him, Hoss! 792 00:45:07,271 --> 00:45:09,535 Oh, you got him! You got him! 793 00:45:09,673 --> 00:45:10,935 Hey. Just one more round. 794 00:45:11,075 --> 00:45:12,906 That's all he's got. I knocked him down! 795 00:45:13,043 --> 00:45:14,374 You sure did knock him down! 796 00:45:21,819 --> 00:45:23,446 Oh, is that... is that you, Harry? 797 00:45:23,587 --> 00:45:26,317 It's me, Bobo. It's me, all right. 798 00:45:26,457 --> 00:45:28,652 He's a fair bull. 799 00:45:28,792 --> 00:45:30,316 Like hitting a brick wall. 800 00:45:30,461 --> 00:45:32,122 Well, he's too strong for you. 801 00:45:32,262 --> 00:45:33,820 You've got to move around. 802 00:45:33,964 --> 00:45:35,158 Stay away from him. 803 00:45:35,299 --> 00:45:37,529 Oh, I... I don't know anymore, Harry. 804 00:45:37,668 --> 00:45:40,296 Oh, just stick it out there. 805 00:45:40,437 --> 00:45:42,530 Keep the old flag flying. 806 00:45:42,673 --> 00:45:44,800 I missed you, Harry. 807 00:45:44,942 --> 00:45:47,240 You did? 808 00:45:47,377 --> 00:45:50,904 I'm no good without you. 809 00:45:51,048 --> 00:45:52,037 Time! 810 00:45:52,182 --> 00:45:53,672 Go get him! 811 00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:00,522 Can you get up? 812 00:46:00,657 --> 00:46:01,954 One... 813 00:46:02,092 --> 00:46:03,252 Just get up there. two... 814 00:46:03,393 --> 00:46:04,519 Toe the line. three... 815 00:46:04,661 --> 00:46:06,458 And give him the best you've got. four... 816 00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:08,224 five... 817 00:46:08,365 --> 00:46:11,129 six, seven... 818 00:46:15,539 --> 00:46:18,269 Oh, bless you, Bobo. 819 00:46:18,408 --> 00:46:20,000 The new champ! Way to go, Hoss! 820 00:46:20,144 --> 00:46:21,406 Hoss? Hoss, how do you feel? 821 00:46:21,545 --> 00:46:23,069 Good going, Hoss! I feel all right. 822 00:46:23,213 --> 00:46:24,680 I knew you could do it, Hoss! 823 00:46:24,815 --> 00:46:26,043 You did it, Hoss. You whipped him! 824 00:46:29,686 --> 00:46:30,710 You beat the champ! 825 00:46:30,854 --> 00:46:31,878 I don't know. 826 00:46:32,022 --> 00:46:33,887 What are you driving at, son? 827 00:46:34,024 --> 00:46:37,425 He was... he was all alone, Pa. 828 00:46:39,296 --> 00:46:40,422 Oh... 829 00:46:40,564 --> 00:46:42,293 Give him a little room now, boys. 830 00:46:42,432 --> 00:46:43,763 Boys, let's give him... 831 00:46:55,312 --> 00:46:57,940 We are here to settle our account, sir. 832 00:46:58,081 --> 00:47:00,709 Harry, will you please pay the gentleman? 833 00:47:00,851 --> 00:47:02,842 Yes. 834 00:47:05,255 --> 00:47:07,155 Here you are, governor. 835 00:47:07,291 --> 00:47:10,886 1,000 American dollars. 836 00:47:11,028 --> 00:47:12,893 Well. 837 00:47:13,030 --> 00:47:14,895 Thank you, gentlemen. 838 00:47:15,032 --> 00:47:18,024 Uh, Pa, ain't you going to show them the, uh... 839 00:47:18,168 --> 00:47:20,534 you know. 840 00:47:20,671 --> 00:47:21,865 Oh, yes. 841 00:47:22,005 --> 00:47:23,996 Well, I-I almost forgot. 842 00:47:24,141 --> 00:47:26,507 I received a, uh, telegram 843 00:47:26,643 --> 00:47:29,009 from my son in San Francisco. 844 00:47:29,146 --> 00:47:31,046 Says, uh, 845 00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:34,742 "Benicia Boy will not fight you in Virginia City." 846 00:47:37,354 --> 00:47:41,814 "But he would be happy to meet you in San Francisco." 847 00:47:43,193 --> 00:47:45,388 You hear that, Bobo? 848 00:47:45,529 --> 00:47:46,655 We got the big one! 849 00:47:46,797 --> 00:47:48,025 Oh, blimey! Ha-ha! 850 00:47:49,633 --> 00:47:51,999 Mr. Cartwright? Oh. Mr. Cartwright? 851 00:47:52,135 --> 00:47:54,399 I-I was just showing Mar... 852 00:47:54,538 --> 00:47:57,735 Oh, uh, pardon me. 853 00:47:57,875 --> 00:48:00,070 It's all right, J.D. Go ahead. What were you going to say? 854 00:48:00,210 --> 00:48:03,236 Oh, well, I was just going to say that... 855 00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:06,042 Marge loves the house. 856 00:48:06,183 --> 00:48:08,014 It's wonderful, Mr. Cartwright. 857 00:48:08,151 --> 00:48:10,210 I will not ask you to shake hands, 858 00:48:10,354 --> 00:48:14,313 but, uh, I would like you both to know how really sorry I am. 859 00:48:14,458 --> 00:48:16,790 Oh, that's, uh... 860 00:48:16,927 --> 00:48:18,019 That's all right. 861 00:48:18,161 --> 00:48:20,595 Come on, Bobo. 862 00:48:20,731 --> 00:48:22,699 San Francisco and the Benicia Boy... 863 00:48:22,833 --> 00:48:24,164 and you'll murder him. 864 00:48:24,301 --> 00:48:25,734 Well, I don't know about that, 865 00:48:25,869 --> 00:48:28,565 but we'll have a good bash at it, won't we, Harry? 866 00:48:28,705 --> 00:48:30,798 We will and all. Ta-ta. 867 00:48:37,648 --> 00:48:42,210 You know, when your little ones come along... 868 00:48:42,352 --> 00:48:45,219 I hope they're a little smarter than, uh, than those two. 869 00:48:45,355 --> 00:48:47,687 Hey, you know, Hoss, I was just thinking. 870 00:48:47,824 --> 00:48:49,655 There's a... there's a fighter in St. Louis, 871 00:48:49,793 --> 00:48:50,953 sort of an up-and-coming heavyweight 872 00:48:51,094 --> 00:48:52,254 who's going out on the road. 873 00:48:52,396 --> 00:48:53,693 I was just wondering, 874 00:48:53,830 --> 00:48:57,231 if we worked on that left hook of yours a little bit, if... 875 00:49:45,148 --> 00:49:47,878 This has been a color presentation 876 00:49:48,018 --> 00:49:50,452 of the NBC Television Network. 62523

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