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The following program
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is brought to you
in living color on NBC.
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I'm going up to my room
for a few minutes.
4
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,515
All right, Marge.
See you later, boys.
5
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Hi, hon.
Can I have my key?
6
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,866
J.D. Hi, hon.
7
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I thought you were coming into
town the middle of the week.
8
00:00:40,473 --> 00:00:42,464
Uh... afternoon, ma'am.
9
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,245
Well, what do you think?
I think we need to have a beer.
10
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,583
No, no, no. I mean...
11
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,248
I mean about her.
12
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,916
About who?
What are you talking about?
13
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My girl.
14
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:08,194
You mean that was your girl?
Mm-hmm.
15
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Oh, ain't she wonderful, hmm?
16
00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,167
That... that's Margie,
17
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:12,430
the one you're going to bring
out to supper?
18
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:13,596
Mm-hmm.
19
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,207
You didn't even act like
you knew her!
20
00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:17,866
Yeah, yeah, I know, it...
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00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:20,878
sometimes happens to me
when I get around her.
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I don't know, I just kind
of get all tied up inside.
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00:01:25,351 --> 00:01:28,218
Boy, ain't she something
though, hmm?
24
00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:32,484
Uh, Joe, uh,
better give us three beers.
25
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:40,564
Whoa! Hold! Whoa!
26
00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:49,334
All right, my man, let's get
that package off of there.
27
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,467
You can't keep the Duke waiting,
you know.
28
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,408
Disgustingly provincial.
29
00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:55,639
Oh, come off it.
30
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,909
Come on, now, let's get
a move on with that baggage.
31
00:01:58,051 --> 00:01:59,450
I thank you.
32
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,721
Ah, there you are, my man.
33
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:07,349
You have reservations
for the Duke of London
34
00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:08,859
and his entourage?
35
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,528
Let's have a little
service now.
36
00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:13,427
Oh, madam...
37
00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:15,090
your hand.
38
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,463
Hmm?
39
00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:19,037
I kiss the hand
of the most beautiful, uh...
40
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,605
lady I've seen
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00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:23,038
since I've been
in this beastly country.
42
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,175
Here, here.
43
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:37,280
Hold your horses now, Dukie.
44
00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:39,050
It's the men what pays our wages
45
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:40,682
and it's the ladies
what takes them away.
46
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,159
You understand?
Come on, let's go in the pub.
47
00:02:43,296 --> 00:02:45,287
Me gullet's fair crying out
for a nip.
48
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,692
Joe, set up some drinks for
the boys.
49
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:50,962
Did Adam come in with you?
50
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:52,401
No, left a couple days ago, Roy.
51
00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:54,473
He had to make a little trip
to San Francisco.
52
00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:57,132
Make way for the Duke of London!
53
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:03,175
All right, you blokes,
now, out of the way.
54
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:06,843
Give the Duke some elbow room.
55
00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:09,682
Drinks for the house.
56
00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:11,187
You'll have to get in line,
stranger.
57
00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:12,518
Drinks are bought
for this round.
58
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,354
The Duke of London
waits for no one.
59
00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:16,485
Come, fellow, a bottle.
60
00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:26,369
You... a drink
on the Duke of London.
61
00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:29,998
I'm sorry, mister, but Little
Joe already bought me a drink.
62
00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:39,308
Gentlemen, may I have
your attention, please?
63
00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:45,649
The Duke of London,
64
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,623
Champion of the British Empire,
65
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,924
on a world tour,
challenges all comers.
66
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,761
Any man who stands four rounds
67
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:59,133
will be paid
$500 American money.
68
00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:02,207
Do you dare, Yankees?
69
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:53,755
Yankees...
a nation of dolts and cowards.
70
00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:55,861
Oh, knock it, Bobo.
71
00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:59,556
We'll take a pound or two
from 'em, don't you worry.
72
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:02,862
You know, you really showed
that crowd something down there.
73
00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:04,492
You was real prime.
74
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,401
Look at this filthy place.
75
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:11,101
Virginia City...
nothing but a foul pigpen.
76
00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,768
Ah, come off it.
77
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,209
We've seen worse,
78
00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:17,180
although I must say, I have
never tasted such bad whiskey.
79
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,343
Oh, what I wouldn't give
for some good ol' London ale.
80
00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,647
You and your liquor.
81
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,485
Can't you stop guzzling
even for a moment?
82
00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:28,821
Why should I?
83
00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,451
Every man to his own sin, I say.
84
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,861
You could hardly call yourself
a man.
85
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,992
You're like the rest
of these donkeys around here
86
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:40,037
who have to wear guns
to protect themselves.
87
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,199
We'll have to be extremely lucky
to get a fight in this town.
88
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:47,245
Ah... you just keep on
playing the game, Bobo.
89
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,813
We'll get our fight.
90
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,041
You know, you've got a knack,
you have.
91
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,209
I have never known
of any one man
92
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,516
who could get so many other men
hating him in such a short time.
93
00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:58,851
You're a marvel,
that's what you are,
94
00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:01,653
and you know,
when they hate you enough,
95
00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,659
that's when we get our fight,
96
00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:05,661
so you go on being
your own natural self.
97
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,527
You drunken sot.
98
00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:11,068
Ah, you can call me names,
Bobo, but you can't escape me.
99
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,899
Oh, will you shut up?
100
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,631
Oh, I know you too well.
101
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:17,572
Every time you get like this,
it's because of some skirt.
102
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,008
It wouldn't be the little
barmaid you took a fancy to,
103
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,545
now, would it?
104
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,672
You don't suppose she's out
playing a little slap and tickle
105
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:25,511
with one of these here
American cowboys
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00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:27,516
while the handsome
Duke of London is pacing
107
00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:29,177
up and down the floor,
now, do you?
108
00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:40,096
Now, you leave the women to me
109
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,791
because I handle them
a lot better
110
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:46,030
than you handle this
filthy rubbish you are drinking.
111
00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:01,419
Gee, you know, this is...
this is just great.
112
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,385
I mean, it's just wonderful
of you, Mr. Cartwright,
113
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:04,820
to-to go to all this trouble
114
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:07,084
inviting me out for supper
and everything.
115
00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,887
We're very happy to have
the opportunity
116
00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:11,553
of making your acquaintance,
Miss Fuller.
117
00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:14,495
J.D. talks so much about you.
118
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,226
Uh, will you have some dessert?
119
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,337
Hmm?
Oh, uh, yeah, thanks.
120
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,531
Uh... oh, a-an-and just
call me Marge.
121
00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:24,905
Uh, everybody does.
122
00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:27,604
Oh.
123
00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:29,738
Uh, honey, do you want some pie?
124
00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:31,975
No, thanks, sir... I mean, ma'am.
125
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,513
Well, you boys had quite a time
in town, didn't you?
126
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:39,716
This prizefighter...
what did you say his name was?
127
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,793
Uh, the Duke of London, Pa.
128
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,259
I ain't never seen
a duke before,
129
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,863
but if they're all
like that feller,
130
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:46,555
I don't never care nothing
about seeing another one.
131
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:48,098
I wish you'd been along
with us, Pa.
132
00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:50,259
This man makes more enemies
just walking into a room
133
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,132
than anybody
I ever saw in my life.
134
00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:54,364
Well, you boys did right
to ignore him.
135
00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,600
Well, you should have seen what
he did to me, Mr. Cartwright.
136
00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:58,266
He stopped me
right in the middle of the lobby
137
00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:00,242
and grabbed my hand
and kissed it.
138
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:03,041
Well, if I'd have known that,
I'd have taken a wallop at him.
139
00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:12,121
Well, J.D., hand kissing
in Europe is quite common.
140
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,885
Probably just a gesture.
141
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,822
Not the way he did it,
it wasn't.
142
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:19,158
He looked at me
like he owned me or something.
143
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:20,959
Yeah, I should have
walloped him.
144
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:24,160
I'm afraid you wouldn't have
stood much of a chance, J.D.
145
00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:25,827
The man is
a professional prizefighter.
146
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:28,600
Do you know,
his fists are considered
147
00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:30,402
lethal weapons by law?
148
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:33,205
Well, I got a couple
of lethal weapons of my own.
149
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,904
Now, you hold on there.
150
00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:36,241
Don't you get any big ideas.
151
00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:38,782
Just because you're big
and strong doesn't mean
152
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,909
that you're a match
for a professional prizefighter.
153
00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:42,145
Just stay away from this Duke
154
00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,915
or whatever it is
that he calls himself.
155
00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:45,853
No amateur can stand up
to a professional.
156
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,926
Just keep out of his way.
157
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,085
I'm afraid we're not being
very polite to our guest.
158
00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:51,628
Oh, that's all right,
don't mind me.
159
00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:53,254
I kind of enjoy it,
talking about him.
160
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:54,923
I sure never met a man
like him before,
161
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,261
and I've met a lot of 'em.
162
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,030
You sure got a nice place here.
163
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:04,734
You know, I... I never lived
in a house in all my life.
164
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,105
Me neither.
165
00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:07,837
You will, J.D.
166
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,880
Whenever you get married,
167
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:12,610
uh, you'll take over the house
down by the forks.
168
00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:16,244
J.D., why don't you take
Marge outside,
169
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,413
show her around the place?
170
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,990
Could we, J. D?
171
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,217
I'd love to see it.
172
00:09:20,359 --> 00:09:21,553
Well, it's pretty dark
out there;
173
00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,127
I don't know what she could see.
174
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,756
Well, there's a full moon.
175
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,232
She ought to be able
to see enough.
176
00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,564
You go ahead; the boys
will clean up the dishes.
177
00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,570
Clean up the dishes?
178
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,775
Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah.
179
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,469
You-you go ahead, J.D.
180
00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:44,709
Well, uh, okay.
181
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,684
Oh.
182
00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:11,675
I thought I was going
to bust out laughing
183
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:12,903
right in front
of the both of them.
184
00:10:13,045 --> 00:10:13,909
Me, too, Joe.
185
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,138
Old J.D.'s collar was so tight,
186
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,249
I thought his eyes
were gonna pop out. Yeah.
187
00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:19,851
Thing I can't figure out is how
J.D. ever got up enough nerve
188
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:21,647
to talk to her
in the first place.
189
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,585
A gal like that usually starts
a conversation herself, Pa.
190
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,749
A girl like what?
191
00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:30,726
Well, I-I mean, she's, uh...
192
00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:32,296
well, she's a dance hall girl.
193
00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:35,127
I thought she was very nice.
194
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:36,529
What did you think, Hoss?
195
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,830
I... I thought
she was very nice.
196
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,461
Hey, now, wait a minute,
I didn't say
197
00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:41,766
I didn't think
she was very nice.
198
00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:43,340
Pa, it's...
199
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,966
it's just that old J.D. and her
200
00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:47,511
just don't seem to go together
for some reason or other.
201
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,841
I don't know.
202
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,313
That's right,
that's all I meant by it, Pa.
203
00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:55,511
You know how J.D. is...
he's so shy and everything,
204
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,885
and, I don't know, I just
don't think it'll ever work out.
205
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,787
It'll work out...
206
00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:01,916
if he loves her.
207
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,086
J.D.
Huh?
208
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:07,927
Honey, are you afraid of me?
209
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:11,264
No, ma'am, of course not.
210
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:14,202
Uh, now, over there,
that's the smokehouse.
211
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,500
See it, right?
212
00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:19,975
Uh, you can just see
the smoke there
213
00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:23,604
coming out of the... smokehouse.
214
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:25,046
Well, if you're not
afraid of me,
215
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:28,153
then why don't you look at me
when you talk to me?
216
00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:30,118
Well, I was looking
at the smokehouse.
217
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,746
It's right o... right o...
J.D., ju...
218
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:33,791
turn around and look at me.
219
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:34,790
Yes, ma'am.
220
00:11:34,927 --> 00:11:36,792
Now, that's better.
221
00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:40,092
You know, I, um...
I liked what you said in there,
222
00:11:40,232 --> 00:11:43,360
I mean, about being willing
to fight the Englishman over me.
223
00:11:43,502 --> 00:11:46,562
It was a real nice thing to say.
224
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,834
Well, I don't think fellows
ought to go around kissing girls
225
00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:51,943
when... well,
226
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,511
I mean, if they're not...
227
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:57,275
You know, sometimes a girl
doesn't mind being kissed.
228
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:00,985
Well, if you liked it, that's...
229
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,088
that's your business,
230
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,690
but those flashy guys
always seem to fool the women,
231
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,019
but he don't fool me.
232
00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:08,888
I wasn't talking
about him, J.D.,
233
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,723
but at least he wasn't afraid.
234
00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:12,296
Well, you think I am?
235
00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:15,229
I'm willing to try and find out.
236
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:20,201
Well, I may not be as fancy
as that big bag of wind,
237
00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:22,307
but I ain't afraid of anything,
including him.
238
00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:24,432
I bet you're afraid
to kiss a girl.
239
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:27,470
Yeah?
240
00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:29,808
Mm-hmm.
241
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,974
Well, are you?
242
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,245
No, I'm not.
243
00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:37,219
I mean, when I find a girl
I want to kiss,
244
00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:41,087
she's going to get good
and kissed.
245
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:42,626
Oh!
246
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,593
I'll get the buggy.
247
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:46,527
Ah.
248
00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:48,326
I guess Pa was right.
249
00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:51,334
J.D. is in love with her.
250
00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:52,767
How you know?
251
00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,738
Well, if he wasn't,
he would have kissed her.
252
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,503
Joe, that don't make sense.
253
00:12:58,644 --> 00:13:00,475
Now, look, Hoss,
I know you're older than I am,
254
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,841
but there's certain things
255
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,449
I've had a little more
experience in than you have.
256
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,642
And this just happens
to be one of them.
257
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,117
Yeah.
258
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,916
I'll bet you he kisses her
on the way home.
259
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:14,321
Ah. Oh, he'll-he'll try
to kiss her.
260
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,587
She's not gonna let him.
261
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,831
Dag-burn it, Joe,
that just don't make sense.
262
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:33,606
Now, Mr. Duke...
263
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:37,011
One does not address a duke
as "mister," now does one?
264
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:40,380
I'm not anxious to address you
in any way, shape or form.
265
00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:43,010
I just want to warn you that...
About what?!
266
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:46,215
I am perfectly capable
of taking care of myself...
267
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,053
Constable.
268
00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:51,288
Now, we don't address a sheriff
as a constable, now, do we?
269
00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:54,831
I just want to point out
that as a professional fighter,
270
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:56,457
if you use your fists on anyone,
271
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:59,070
I'm going to jail you for
assault with a deadly weapon.
272
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:02,299
Oh, then, in the event
that I am attacked,
273
00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:05,239
I will not even be allowed
to defend myself?
274
00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:06,708
Now, you know better than that.
275
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,905
Besides, I have a feeling
that nobody around here
276
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:11,812
is going to be foolish enough
to try a thing like that.
277
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,419
So I suggest
you just move on your way.
278
00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:17,522
Is there anything else
before you leave?
279
00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:20,090
I think that'll be enough.
280
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,323
Still waiting, eh, Bobo?
281
00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:32,234
Maybe she ain't
coming home tonight.
282
00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:35,899
Oh.
283
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,134
Now you're giving me
the silent treatment.
284
00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:41,644
First you knock me about, then
you act as if I wasn't here.
285
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,408
Well, I am here, Bobo,
and you know I'm here.
286
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:49,351
And when you need me, I'll be
working late in me office.
287
00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:52,423
In other words, in the pub.
288
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,110
Marge...
289
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,181
I-I... I don't know what...
290
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:18,806
what came over me.
291
00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:20,851
I'm just...
I-I'm sorry it happened.
292
00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,613
It's all right, Mr. Lambert.
It's forgotten.
293
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,451
Well, look, look, I... I don't
blame you for slapping me.
294
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,785
I... I had it coming.
295
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,157
But, well, you looked so...
so pretty there
296
00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:31,786
with the moonlight in your hair.
297
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,729
I just, all of a sudden,
had to kiss you, Marge.
298
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,164
I'm... I'm...
299
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:38,532
You clumsy fool.
300
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,935
You stupid oaf.
301
00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:44,338
How dare you even address
this lady?
302
00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:46,103
Come on, J.D.
Come on.
303
00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:50,272
You scum, you coward,
you yellow-belly!
304
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,652
How very brave you are,
305
00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:01,658
with a gun pointed at someone
who is completely unarmed.
306
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,695
Your bravery overwhelms me
to such a point
307
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:08,095
that I can no longer tolerate
the sight of you.
308
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:16,500
Well, come, my good fellow.
309
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,270
Are you not going
to pull the trigger?
310
00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:21,379
J.D., don't-don't get mixed up
with him.
311
00:16:21,513 --> 00:16:24,414
Go on home.
312
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,853
Fair fight!
313
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,151
He hit him first.
Now, you all saw it.
314
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:35,487
The Yank hit him first!
It's a fair fight.
315
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:01,649
All right, all right!
316
00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:03,379
You saw what happened.
317
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,513
Surely you have a better man
in Virginia City!
318
00:17:05,657 --> 00:17:07,147
J.D. Honey...
319
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,226
And if you haven't,
I suggest you send for one,
320
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:12,228
because the champion here
expects to have a fight
321
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:14,355
in this fair town of yours.
322
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,633
Somebody get a doctor.
He's hurt bad.
323
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:22,570
Hank, you and Mike take him over
to Doc, will you?
324
00:17:26,011 --> 00:17:27,740
So, you found one, eh?
325
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,507
After I told you the law.
326
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:31,206
Well, you're going
to the calaboose.
327
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:32,510
Oh, no, he ain't.
328
00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:33,879
The Yank hit him first.
329
00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:36,010
Every bloke here saw it.
330
00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:41,348
Is that right, Joe?
331
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:43,051
Yeah, that's right.
332
00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:45,163
J.D. hit him first.
333
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,990
You had better
get these laundered.
334
00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:52,265
No hard feelings, Sheriff.
335
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,395
Come on in,
and I'll buy you a drink.
336
00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:00,973
I'm sorry
you couldn't have seen me
337
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:03,047
up against
a more worthy opponent.
338
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,810
One could hardly
call it a fight, could one?
339
00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:09,443
Of course, I could, uh, tell
from the outset
340
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:13,684
that you were a woman who, uh,
needed a man, not a boy.
341
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:16,556
Well, now you've found one.
342
00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:30,539
The doctor said
343
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:33,702
he never saw so much damage done
by a man's fist.
344
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,143
And you know the funny thing?
345
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,577
The boys that saw it said
346
00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:38,478
it looked like
he was just tapping him.
347
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:39,982
I'll tell you something else,
too.
348
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,883
J.D. ain't the easiest man
in the world to take.
349
00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:44,648
I've seen him take three miners,
350
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:47,156
one night
in Virginia City, single-handed.
351
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:50,125
Roy, what started it?
352
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:52,890
Well, from what I understand,
it was that girl Marge.
353
00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:56,489
The man's a professional.
He ought to be jailed!
354
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,968
But J.D. took the first swing.
355
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,905
Well, it was good
of that very nice girl
356
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,272
to let him get his head
knocked off on her behalf.
357
00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:08,743
I don't care
if J.D. did swing first.
358
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,542
I'll guarantee you
he didn't start it.
359
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:11,808
Come on, Joe.
All right.
360
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,110
You boys stay
right where you are.
361
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:15,243
Stay right here?
Look at J. D! Just look at him!
362
00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:16,786
You want us to stand here
and do nothing?!
363
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,184
That's exactly
what I want you to do...
364
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,483
stand there and do nothing.
365
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,217
You can't gun down a man
for-for defending himself.
366
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,827
Now, J.D. was warned!
He was warned!
367
00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:26,124
It's my...
my fault, Mr. Cartwright.
368
00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,191
Don't nobody tackle him. It...
369
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:30,494
It was my fault.
370
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:33,070
Nobody's going to do that
to a friend of ours.
371
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:34,570
I agree with Joe, Pa.
372
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:37,368
I don't care who you agree with.
You're staying out of it!
373
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:38,533
Oh, Marge...
374
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:42,306
Oh, Marge saw it. She...
375
00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:45,678
She saw me make a fool
of myself. I...
376
00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:48,047
I can never see her again.
377
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,052
Pa, I can hurt that man.
No.
378
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,521
If I can get one hand on him.
Boy, if I can get...
379
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:53,886
I said no!
380
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,323
Hoss?
381
00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:57,690
They say he strikes faster
than a rattlesnake!
382
00:19:57,829 --> 00:20:00,389
Yeah, well, you just wait
till I get my hands on him.
383
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,830
Just the point.
He won't hold still long enough!
384
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,095
Yeah, well, if Hoss can't
catch him, the two of us can!
385
00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:06,261
Just be quiet, both of you.
386
00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:09,431
Now, just be quiet
and listen to me!
387
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:10,735
Now, first, as I said,
388
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,276
J.D. was warned
not to mix with the Duke.
389
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:16,074
Second, I've seen
professional fighters at work.
390
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,775
When I was young...
and that wasn't so long ago...
391
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,407
I thought
I was pretty good, too.
392
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,782
Well, one of them showed me
how good I was.
393
00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:24,513
That's when this was broken
for the first time.
394
00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:25,884
I couldn't think straight
for a week!
395
00:20:26,024 --> 00:20:27,514
But, Pa, I'm bigger than you!
396
00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:29,183
You may be bigger than I am,
397
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:31,193
but you're no tougher
than I was in those days.
398
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:32,422
A man just wasn't designed
399
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:34,657
to be beaten up the way
a prizefighter can do it!
400
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,495
There's another way
and a better way.
401
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:37,863
Yeah, like what?
402
00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:39,561
If he's so anxious
to have a fight,
403
00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:41,138
we'll get him another
professional prizefighter
404
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:42,467
to fight with.
405
00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:44,269
Pa, there ain't
no professional prizefighters
406
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,433
around here nowhere.
407
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,306
No, but I know
where there is one.
408
00:20:47,446 --> 00:20:49,846
I'll send a wire
to Adam in San Francisco.
409
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,711
There's a fighter there,
a great fighter...
410
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:53,044
Heenan, the Benicia Boy.
411
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,777
We'll pay him to get here
as fast as he can.
412
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,387
Roy?
Yeah?
413
00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:58,489
If I write out the wire,
will you take it into town?
414
00:20:58,624 --> 00:21:01,354
I'll take it to San Francisco
myself if I have to.
415
00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:09,060
Still like to get my hands
on that Duke.
416
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:22,412
Hey, did you hear that, J. D?
417
00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:25,243
Gonna-gonna get that Benicia Boy
to take care of the Duke.
418
00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:26,874
Yeah. He's a real champ, J.D.
419
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,350
He'll take care of that Duke.
420
00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:31,012
Marge saw it. Marge s...
421
00:21:31,156 --> 00:21:33,818
Marge saw him
make a fool of me.
422
00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:39,461
He ain't hearing nothing
we're saying.
423
00:21:54,379 --> 00:21:57,177
I'd still like to get my hands
on that Duke.
424
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,580
No, we're gonna have to do
what Pa said.
425
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:02,812
Course that don't mean we can't
ride into town tomorrow
426
00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:06,446
and sort of break the news
about the Benicia Boy.
427
00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:09,185
I'd kind of like to see the look
on the Duke's face
428
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,159
when we tell him that.
429
00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:13,355
Yeah.
430
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:15,898
Sort of like to see
that Duke fella myself.
431
00:22:16,034 --> 00:22:17,831
Now, wait a minute.
432
00:22:17,969 --> 00:22:21,871
No, I said we're gonna break
the news to him, not his neck.
433
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,099
Agreed?
434
00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:27,742
Agreed, little brother.
435
00:22:33,952 --> 00:22:35,647
And another thing.
436
00:22:35,787 --> 00:22:37,516
Where's your dartboard?
437
00:22:37,656 --> 00:22:38,850
My what?!
438
00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:40,855
Your dartboard!
439
00:22:40,992 --> 00:22:43,483
Now a pub ain't a pub...
How is he? How's J. D?
440
00:22:43,628 --> 00:22:46,028
Oh, a little late
to be asking, ain't it?
441
00:22:46,164 --> 00:22:48,029
Is he all right?
Oh, yeah, he's fine.
442
00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:50,361
He's got a busted nose,
lost a few teeth.
443
00:22:50,502 --> 00:22:51,901
Otherwise,
he's feeling just fine.
444
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:55,097
Ah, he-he ain't too pretty.
445
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,639
It's gonna be a while
446
00:22:56,775 --> 00:22:59,141
before he feels like doing
any courting again, too.
447
00:23:00,345 --> 00:23:03,212
I know everybody thinks
that it's my fault.
448
00:23:04,516 --> 00:23:06,507
Would you take a message to him?
449
00:23:06,651 --> 00:23:09,119
Would you tell him
that I want to see him?
450
00:23:09,254 --> 00:23:11,552
Oh, I don't think he's going
to want to see anybody
451
00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:13,954
for a while, especially you.
452
00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:19,230
You'll have to excuse us, ma'am.
453
00:23:19,364 --> 00:23:21,559
We have some business
to take care of.
454
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:25,635
He'll line you up
455
00:23:25,771 --> 00:23:28,365
and take you on two at a time,
he will...
456
00:23:28,507 --> 00:23:30,441
the whole blinking town.
457
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:35,239
'Cause there ain't a man, god
or demon could whip the Duke.
458
00:23:35,380 --> 00:23:37,211
I trained him
from a little whippersnapper,
459
00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:39,783
I did, and he's the greatest.
460
00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:43,684
Got a fist like a rock,
and an eye like a hawk.
461
00:23:43,822 --> 00:23:46,484
So bring on your finest.
462
00:23:46,625 --> 00:23:48,923
Well, that's exactly
what we intend to do...
463
00:23:49,060 --> 00:23:50,322
bring on the finest.
464
00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:51,827
You?
465
00:23:53,398 --> 00:23:55,593
You're funnier
than that bloke last night!
466
00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:58,066
No, no, not me, little man.
467
00:23:58,203 --> 00:24:00,171
I'm talking
about the Benicia Boy.
468
00:24:01,206 --> 00:24:03,538
Benicia Boy?
469
00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:07,505
Aw...
470
00:24:07,646 --> 00:24:09,739
you're trying to fool old Limey.
471
00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:12,611
You think I'm drunk,
so you're playing jokes on me.
472
00:24:12,751 --> 00:24:16,084
No, this ain't no joke,
little man.
473
00:24:17,589 --> 00:24:19,853
Well, I can't believe it.
474
00:24:19,991 --> 00:24:21,583
Well, you can believe it.
475
00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:25,255
Benicia Boy Heenan?
476
00:24:25,397 --> 00:24:27,456
Hey, uh, Joe,
it looks like the little man
477
00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:28,930
that did all that loud bragging
478
00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:31,535
ain't so sure of himself
now, don't it? Yeah.
479
00:24:31,670 --> 00:24:34,002
Hey, it couldn't be
that you and the Duke
480
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,664
are a little afraid
of the Benicia Boy, could it?
481
00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:38,537
Afraid?!
482
00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:46,480
Oh, that's a rich one!
Afraid!
483
00:24:46,618 --> 00:24:49,678
The Duke of London
afraid of Benicia Boy?
484
00:24:49,821 --> 00:24:52,153
You know what?
We've been chasing him
485
00:24:52,290 --> 00:24:54,224
all across the country,
486
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:58,193
and now he gets delivered
to us on a silver tray!
487
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:01,766
Ha-ha! Oh, wait till
the Duke hears this bit of news!
488
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,494
He'll be pleased fit to bust!
489
00:25:06,805 --> 00:25:08,739
Oh, that's a rich one!
490
00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:11,968
How about a beer?
491
00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:13,975
Hmm.
492
00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:20,849
Give me a left again.
493
00:25:20,986 --> 00:25:23,284
Show us the old one-two now.
494
00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:34,363
All right, now come in low.
495
00:25:34,499 --> 00:25:37,024
He sure dances around pretty,
don't he?
496
00:25:37,168 --> 00:25:38,396
Yeah.
497
00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:41,529
Now, whatever you do,
don't show them the big wallop.
498
00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:44,870
We got to make them bet
on Benicia Boy, remember?
499
00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:46,875
That's it.
500
00:25:47,012 --> 00:25:49,173
All right, now, jab.
501
00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:54,648
All right, another jab.
502
00:25:54,786 --> 00:25:55,980
That's it.
503
00:25:56,121 --> 00:25:57,952
Oh, Roy.
504
00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:00,589
All right, jab.
505
00:26:00,725 --> 00:26:03,285
You didn't get a telegram
from Adam yet, did you?
506
00:26:03,428 --> 00:26:05,191
Nope.
507
00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:06,524
It's been a week.
508
00:26:06,665 --> 00:26:08,530
Could be the wires
are down again.
509
00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:10,862
Oh, no, no, I checked that.
510
00:26:12,737 --> 00:26:15,103
What happens if
the Benicia Boy don't show up?
511
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,264
Oh, please.
512
00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:18,103
Will you fight him yourself?
513
00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,904
Well, the time was
when you would.
514
00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:22,172
Yeah, well, this isn't the time.
515
00:26:22,314 --> 00:26:25,044
I'll just have to give him
that thousand-dollar purse.
516
00:26:25,183 --> 00:26:26,741
A thousand dollars?!
517
00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:29,786
That's what I had
to guarantee him for the fight.
518
00:26:31,289 --> 00:26:34,383
Get those knuckles
in there, Bobo.
519
00:26:34,526 --> 00:26:37,859
He kind of holds his fist
fancy like, too.
520
00:26:37,996 --> 00:26:41,625
Get those knuckles in there.
521
00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:44,929
Yeah, they could really
slice a man to pieces.
522
00:26:45,070 --> 00:26:47,265
Well, he might slice
some men to pieces,
523
00:26:47,405 --> 00:26:51,034
but he'd have to hit a whole lot
harder than that to cut me up.
524
00:26:51,176 --> 00:26:54,612
Yeah, maybe so,
but not after a few rounds.
525
00:26:54,746 --> 00:26:56,179
Mm-mm.
526
00:26:56,314 --> 00:26:59,249
Well, I'd sure give
a pretty to try him anyhow.
527
00:26:59,384 --> 00:27:02,148
Now, when they come in
with a short punch...
528
00:27:05,523 --> 00:27:08,583
Hey. Look who came
to watch the Duke.
529
00:27:08,727 --> 00:27:10,592
All right, another jab.
530
00:27:13,365 --> 00:27:14,593
J. D!
531
00:27:14,733 --> 00:27:16,894
Honey, are you all right?
532
00:27:17,035 --> 00:27:19,367
I'm, uh... I'm fine.
533
00:27:20,538 --> 00:27:23,939
Uh, excuse me, I'm...
I'm in a hurry.
534
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,908
J.D., how you doing?
535
00:27:37,722 --> 00:27:38,984
Marge.
536
00:27:39,124 --> 00:27:40,819
Excuse me, Roy.
537
00:27:40,959 --> 00:27:43,587
Marge, what's wrong?
538
00:27:43,728 --> 00:27:45,286
What's right?
539
00:27:45,430 --> 00:27:48,194
All you want to do is
reach up for something better,
540
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:51,700
and everybody says,
"No, you stay in your place."
541
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:55,328
Oh, Marge, you know it doesn't
matter what people think.
542
00:27:55,473 --> 00:27:58,772
Nothing mattered until J.D.
543
00:27:58,910 --> 00:28:02,107
Looks like that's over,
too, doesn't it?
544
00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:13,916
She sure looked pretty,
didn't she?
545
00:28:14,059 --> 00:28:15,993
Oh, come on, don't tell me
546
00:28:16,127 --> 00:28:18,755
you're still sweet on her
after what happened?
547
00:28:18,897 --> 00:28:21,058
Well, it wasn't her fault.
548
00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:23,861
I think that's enough
for one day.
549
00:28:24,002 --> 00:28:26,300
I've got something better to do.
550
00:28:26,438 --> 00:28:28,998
Yeah... and I know what it is.
551
00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:31,165
And it's fair
asking for trouble.
552
00:28:31,309 --> 00:28:34,210
Women! They'll be
the death of both of us.
553
00:28:34,345 --> 00:28:37,439
Aw, come on,
let's get a beer, huh?
554
00:28:48,626 --> 00:28:50,651
That feller's just
plain ordinary mean.
555
00:28:50,795 --> 00:28:52,660
For two cents, I'd...
Come on.
556
00:28:52,797 --> 00:28:54,025
Come on, let's go.
557
00:30:04,068 --> 00:30:06,059
No more tears, eh?
558
00:30:06,204 --> 00:30:07,728
What do you want?
559
00:30:07,872 --> 00:30:11,899
Oh, there's no need
to be coy with me.
560
00:30:12,043 --> 00:30:14,341
I saw you watching the workout.
561
00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:16,174
You get out of here.
562
00:30:16,314 --> 00:30:17,838
Oh, come, my dear.
563
00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:21,315
You might fool the majority
of these clods around here,
564
00:30:21,452 --> 00:30:23,511
but you don't fool me.
565
00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:26,852
I know you and your kind.
566
00:30:26,991 --> 00:30:29,983
And I know what's bothering you.
567
00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:36,932
Guns!
568
00:30:37,068 --> 00:30:39,798
You're like all the men
in this godforsaken country...
569
00:30:39,938 --> 00:30:41,963
the first thing
they turn to is guns.
570
00:30:42,106 --> 00:30:43,596
Let go of me!
571
00:30:43,741 --> 00:30:46,369
Oh, there's no need
to lie to me.
572
00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:50,242
I know you and your kind
only too well.
573
00:30:50,381 --> 00:30:54,977
You're trying to be better than
you really are, but you can't.
574
00:30:55,119 --> 00:30:57,053
Deep down inside your heart
575
00:30:57,188 --> 00:31:01,147
you know you can't,
and you know you never will.
576
00:31:30,989 --> 00:31:33,514
What are you laughing at?
577
00:31:33,658 --> 00:31:35,387
Oh, come on...
578
00:31:35,526 --> 00:31:39,986
don't tell me you've never been
laughed at by a woman before.
579
00:31:40,131 --> 00:31:42,258
Hold your tongue!
580
00:31:53,778 --> 00:31:56,679
You won't be laughing
when I get through with you.
581
00:32:00,652 --> 00:32:02,210
Let her go, Bobo.
582
00:32:05,156 --> 00:32:06,748
Oh, it's you.
583
00:32:06,891 --> 00:32:09,291
Yes, and it'll always be me.
584
00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:10,826
It happened again, didn't it?
585
00:32:10,962 --> 00:32:12,327
Another one laughed at you.
586
00:32:12,463 --> 00:32:14,363
I told you
it would happen again.
587
00:32:25,710 --> 00:32:26,972
You're through.
588
00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:29,579
I've taken all
I'm going to take from you,
589
00:32:29,714 --> 00:32:32,205
you despicable
little guttersnipe.
590
00:32:37,522 --> 00:32:38,750
J. D!
591
00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:39,914
Marge.
592
00:32:40,058 --> 00:32:41,548
Well, what happened?
It's Duke.
593
00:32:41,693 --> 00:32:43,058
He's beating
that poor little man.
594
00:32:43,194 --> 00:32:44,821
He's gonna kill him.
Where are they?
595
00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:47,158
They're in my room.
He broke into my room.
596
00:32:47,298 --> 00:32:49,732
Come on, Joe.
Right.
597
00:32:49,867 --> 00:32:50,799
I'll be right back.
598
00:32:50,935 --> 00:32:52,402
J.D.
599
00:32:52,537 --> 00:32:54,095
Don't leave me.
600
00:32:54,238 --> 00:32:56,900
Don't ever leave me.
601
00:32:57,041 --> 00:32:59,908
I need you so much.
602
00:33:00,044 --> 00:33:02,239
You need me?
603
00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:05,907
I need you.
Ah...
604
00:33:06,050 --> 00:33:08,245
Limey! Limey?
605
00:33:08,386 --> 00:33:10,513
Yeah, I'm in here.
606
00:33:11,856 --> 00:33:13,721
Are you gonna make it, Limey?
607
00:33:13,858 --> 00:33:15,951
Take it easy, now.
608
00:33:16,094 --> 00:33:18,392
I want you to sit
real easy now on the bed.
609
00:33:18,529 --> 00:33:20,156
I'll be all right.
610
00:33:20,298 --> 00:33:21,492
See...
That's it.
611
00:33:21,632 --> 00:33:24,294
it's just the Duke's way
of doing things.
612
00:33:24,435 --> 00:33:27,427
My brother don't always
see matters my way.
613
00:33:27,572 --> 00:33:29,096
Yeah.
614
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,539
Yeah. You wouldn't
have guessed it, would you?
615
00:33:32,677 --> 00:33:35,271
Me and the Duke... brothers?
616
00:33:35,413 --> 00:33:36,573
Brothers?
617
00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:39,415
Yes.
618
00:33:39,550 --> 00:33:42,781
You see, his real name's
Clarence Simpson.
619
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,718
Mine's Harry Simpson.
620
00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:48,052
When he was a little tyke,
621
00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:50,956
we called him Bobo.
622
00:33:51,095 --> 00:33:52,824
The baby, he was.
623
00:33:52,964 --> 00:33:56,832
Then they put us
in one of them homes,
624
00:33:56,968 --> 00:33:59,266
but I got us out of there.
625
00:34:00,638 --> 00:34:03,630
Oh, you've no idea
how I worked and slaved
626
00:34:03,775 --> 00:34:07,370
to put that boy through school.
627
00:34:07,512 --> 00:34:10,413
See, I... I wanted to make
a gentleman out of him.
628
00:34:10,548 --> 00:34:11,480
I...
629
00:34:11,616 --> 00:34:13,106
Here. Limey,
you just take it easy.
630
00:34:13,251 --> 00:34:16,243
You might be hurt serious
and don't even know it. No...
631
00:34:16,387 --> 00:34:20,847
What he said hurts much more
than what he done.
632
00:34:20,992 --> 00:34:23,358
He can do without me, he says.
633
00:34:23,494 --> 00:34:24,825
Just don't seem possible
634
00:34:24,962 --> 00:34:27,760
that a man could treat
his own brother like that.
635
00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:30,129
He's always been the same.
636
00:34:30,268 --> 00:34:32,327
I taught him, you know.
637
00:34:32,470 --> 00:34:35,030
He was going to the dogs,
he was.
638
00:34:35,173 --> 00:34:36,697
I made him a boxer.
639
00:34:36,841 --> 00:34:38,172
You see, that...
640
00:34:38,309 --> 00:34:41,403
that's how I earned the money
to pay for his schooling.
641
00:34:41,546 --> 00:34:44,481
Then when I got
too old to fight, I...
642
00:34:44,615 --> 00:34:46,708
I taught him the trade.
643
00:34:46,851 --> 00:34:48,375
And now he...
644
00:34:48,519 --> 00:34:50,714
he says he can do without me.
645
00:34:50,855 --> 00:34:52,880
Maybe you're better off
without him, Limey.
646
00:34:53,024 --> 00:34:55,549
I taught him good, too.
647
00:34:55,693 --> 00:34:57,752
I wanted him to be the champ.
648
00:34:57,895 --> 00:35:01,126
And he might be, if he'd
only leave the skirts alone.
649
00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:03,392
Did he hurt Marge?
650
00:35:03,534 --> 00:35:05,195
Well, he would have.
651
00:35:05,336 --> 00:35:08,897
Yes, he would have;
he's done it before.
652
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:12,032
Oh, I... might as well
face up to it.
653
00:35:12,176 --> 00:35:14,041
He's just no good.
654
00:35:14,178 --> 00:35:16,544
So now I'm through with him,
you understand?
655
00:35:16,681 --> 00:35:18,114
I'm through with him.
656
00:35:18,249 --> 00:35:20,774
He thinks he don't need me?
657
00:35:20,918 --> 00:35:22,886
He'll find out.
658
00:35:23,020 --> 00:35:25,011
Just let him find out.
659
00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:32,959
Joe, I don't care what Pa says;
this is too much.
660
00:35:33,097 --> 00:35:36,498
Yeah, first J.D.,
then Marge, and now this.
661
00:35:36,634 --> 00:35:37,896
Joe.
662
00:35:39,504 --> 00:35:40,528
I'm with you.
663
00:35:40,671 --> 00:35:41,933
Let's go.
664
00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:46,944
Duke?
665
00:35:47,078 --> 00:35:48,841
Duke!
666
00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:51,039
Well, well, well,
the Cartwright clan.
667
00:35:51,182 --> 00:35:53,173
Have you got
the Benicia Boy with you?
668
00:35:53,317 --> 00:35:54,978
No.
669
00:35:55,119 --> 00:35:56,916
But we brought a message.
670
00:35:57,054 --> 00:35:59,682
Then deliver it
and be on your way.
671
00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:01,792
All right.
672
00:36:07,832 --> 00:36:09,697
You wanted a fight.
673
00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:11,699
Well, now, buster, you got it.
674
00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:13,963
I'll take you on for money,
marbles or chalk,
675
00:36:14,105 --> 00:36:15,299
you just name it.
676
00:36:46,470 --> 00:36:49,496
Ben, I don't like this
one little bit.
677
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,665
Well, neither do I,
but Hoss challenged him,
678
00:36:51,809 --> 00:36:54,243
so the only thing
we can do now it to see
679
00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:55,572
that everything
is conducted properly.
680
00:36:55,713 --> 00:36:57,544
You think Hoss can handle him?
681
00:36:57,682 --> 00:36:59,650
A match like this?
682
00:36:59,784 --> 00:37:02,582
I only hope
he doesn't get hurt badly.
683
00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:06,156
Here. You better study
these London prize ring rules.
684
00:37:08,292 --> 00:37:09,520
Yeah. How you feeling, Hoss?
685
00:37:09,660 --> 00:37:11,184
I feel great, little brother.
686
00:37:11,329 --> 00:37:13,354
Good. Just lean back,
take it easy.
687
00:37:13,497 --> 00:37:15,556
That's it.
688
00:37:18,436 --> 00:37:21,667
$25 on Hoss
against $100 on the Duke.
689
00:37:24,308 --> 00:37:27,175
Now, I said I was through
with him, and I mean it.
690
00:37:27,311 --> 00:37:29,404
I ain't going near his corner,
so help me.
691
00:37:29,547 --> 00:37:30,844
But I got to warn you.
692
00:37:30,982 --> 00:37:33,143
You're going
to get hurt mortal bad, boy.
693
00:37:33,284 --> 00:37:35,980
Ah. I've been hurt before.
694
00:37:40,391 --> 00:37:43,224
Now, don't you worry.
Hoss can take care of himself.
695
00:37:44,562 --> 00:37:46,553
Here, give me some
of that four-to-one money
696
00:37:46,697 --> 00:37:48,164
on Hoss Cartwright.
697
00:37:48,299 --> 00:37:52,668
$100 on Hoss
against $400 on the Duke.
698
00:37:52,803 --> 00:37:54,998
You know, you-you've been
very kind to me, my lad.
699
00:37:55,139 --> 00:37:56,663
You can take a tip from me.
700
00:37:56,807 --> 00:37:58,297
You go and try
and cover that bet,
701
00:37:58,442 --> 00:37:59,500
because you're gonna lose.
702
00:37:59,644 --> 00:38:00,668
Yeah, well, don't you worry.
703
00:38:00,811 --> 00:38:02,438
My brother knows
just what he's doing.
704
00:38:02,580 --> 00:38:04,980
Your brother?
705
00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:07,107
Yeah.
706
00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:11,721
Come on, you feeling all right?
707
00:38:11,856 --> 00:38:13,153
Yeah, yeah, I'm feeling...
708
00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:14,758
Let's go.
Hey, wait.
709
00:38:14,892 --> 00:38:17,258
Did you put some of my money
on that bet?
710
00:38:17,395 --> 00:38:18,885
50 bucks. I'm only half stupid.
711
00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:21,021
Come on.
712
00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:56,193
Hey!
713
00:39:34,472 --> 00:39:36,406
Ladies and gentlemen,
714
00:39:36,540 --> 00:39:38,906
as you all know,
715
00:39:39,043 --> 00:39:41,773
this match is being held
716
00:39:41,912 --> 00:39:43,812
against my will.
717
00:39:43,948 --> 00:39:46,508
Oh, no.
718
00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:48,049
However...
719
00:39:50,087 --> 00:39:52,555
...since it has been joined,
720
00:39:52,690 --> 00:39:56,319
it will be conducted fairly
and properly
721
00:39:56,460 --> 00:39:59,588
according to the London
prize ring rules.
722
00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:02,096
"Rounds shall continue
723
00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:06,693
"until one or both
of contestants are down.
724
00:40:06,837 --> 00:40:09,032
"When a man is down,
725
00:40:09,173 --> 00:40:11,767
"his seconds may conduct him
to his corner
726
00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:14,605
for the rest period."
727
00:40:16,347 --> 00:40:19,646
Would you like, uh, a second
assigned to your corner, sir?
728
00:40:25,856 --> 00:40:27,721
"At the end of 30 seconds,
729
00:40:27,858 --> 00:40:29,792
"the referee will call time,
730
00:40:29,927 --> 00:40:31,895
"and the contestants must rise
731
00:40:32,029 --> 00:40:33,894
"and come to the mark.
732
00:40:34,031 --> 00:40:37,432
"Either man failing
to toe the mark
733
00:40:37,568 --> 00:40:40,128
"at the end of eight seconds
734
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:42,535
"after the referee calls time,
735
00:40:42,673 --> 00:40:45,267
"shall be deemed defeated.
736
00:40:45,409 --> 00:40:49,607
The judgment of the referee
will be final and absolute."
737
00:40:49,747 --> 00:40:52,545
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
738
00:40:52,683 --> 00:40:56,551
you all know the referee,
739
00:40:56,687 --> 00:40:58,985
your sheriff, Roy Coffee.
740
00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:00,784
Yeah.
Yay!
741
00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:10,123
Now, you men
have heard the rules.
742
00:41:10,267 --> 00:41:12,132
Timekeepers ready?
743
00:41:13,771 --> 00:41:17,764
The contestants
will toe that mark.
744
00:41:17,908 --> 00:41:19,375
Ready?
745
00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:23,006
Time!
746
00:41:23,147 --> 00:41:25,445
All right, get him!
747
00:41:25,583 --> 00:41:28,143
Go get him, Hoss.
748
00:41:31,388 --> 00:41:32,787
Come on, look out for that jab!
749
00:41:35,659 --> 00:41:37,320
Yeah! Yeah!
750
00:41:40,264 --> 00:41:42,255
Come on, hit him!
751
00:41:49,673 --> 00:41:51,163
Hoss, take your time!
752
00:41:51,308 --> 00:41:53,708
Come on!
753
00:41:53,844 --> 00:41:55,573
Come on!
754
00:42:09,293 --> 00:42:10,885
Come on, cover up!
755
00:42:14,331 --> 00:42:16,026
Time!
756
00:42:16,166 --> 00:42:19,624
All right, come on.
757
00:42:19,770 --> 00:42:22,238
Get him back, Joe.
Get him back to the corner!
758
00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:23,840
Let's go. Let's go.
759
00:42:25,009 --> 00:42:26,772
Look, you got
to stay away from that jab.
760
00:42:26,911 --> 00:42:28,538
You got to get inside him.
Yeah.
761
00:42:28,679 --> 00:42:29,976
Hit him in the stomach.
762
00:42:30,114 --> 00:42:31,843
You're going to hurt him.
Yeah. Right. He...
763
00:42:31,982 --> 00:42:33,973
He's hitting me
with that funny little old left,
764
00:42:34,118 --> 00:42:36,313
but I'm gonna get him first
with it this time.
765
00:42:38,355 --> 00:42:39,413
Time!
766
00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:41,821
I'm gonna beat him to it.
767
00:42:45,729 --> 00:42:47,094
Come on, take your time!
768
00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:48,926
Come on, hit him!
769
00:42:53,237 --> 00:42:54,727
Stay away from that jab!
770
00:42:58,042 --> 00:42:59,509
Come on.
771
00:42:59,643 --> 00:43:01,076
Come on!
772
00:43:03,047 --> 00:43:04,173
Come on, get him!
773
00:43:07,051 --> 00:43:08,040
Get him, Hoss!
774
00:43:14,825 --> 00:43:15,723
That's it!
775
00:43:34,578 --> 00:43:36,307
Hoss, stay away from it!
776
00:43:41,085 --> 00:43:42,382
Hey!
777
00:43:42,519 --> 00:43:44,453
Hoss? Hoss!
778
00:43:44,588 --> 00:43:46,579
Hoss, come on.
Come on.
779
00:43:46,724 --> 00:43:49,158
Look.
780
00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:53,028
Look, Hoss,
I think you had enough.
781
00:43:53,163 --> 00:43:55,961
Pa, was right... you can't stay
in there with a professional.
782
00:43:56,100 --> 00:43:58,625
Ah, he's going to get a bunch
of me, Joe.
783
00:43:58,769 --> 00:44:00,430
I'm going to get some of him.
784
00:44:00,571 --> 00:44:02,766
All right,
if that's the way you want it.
785
00:44:07,611 --> 00:44:08,600
Time!
786
00:44:17,721 --> 00:44:20,315
Can you see?
787
00:44:20,457 --> 00:44:22,357
One,
788
00:44:22,493 --> 00:44:25,360
two, three,
789
00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:27,259
four...
Yeah.
790
00:44:27,398 --> 00:44:28,990
...five, six.
791
00:44:34,171 --> 00:44:35,433
Watch him, Hoss!
792
00:45:07,271 --> 00:45:09,535
Oh, you got him!
You got him!
793
00:45:09,673 --> 00:45:10,935
Hey.
Just one more round.
794
00:45:11,075 --> 00:45:12,906
That's all he's got.
I knocked him down!
795
00:45:13,043 --> 00:45:14,374
You sure did knock him down!
796
00:45:21,819 --> 00:45:23,446
Oh, is that...
is that you, Harry?
797
00:45:23,587 --> 00:45:26,317
It's me, Bobo.
It's me, all right.
798
00:45:26,457 --> 00:45:28,652
He's a fair bull.
799
00:45:28,792 --> 00:45:30,316
Like hitting a brick wall.
800
00:45:30,461 --> 00:45:32,122
Well, he's too strong for you.
801
00:45:32,262 --> 00:45:33,820
You've got to move around.
802
00:45:33,964 --> 00:45:35,158
Stay away from him.
803
00:45:35,299 --> 00:45:37,529
Oh, I... I don't know
anymore, Harry.
804
00:45:37,668 --> 00:45:40,296
Oh, just stick it out there.
805
00:45:40,437 --> 00:45:42,530
Keep the old flag flying.
806
00:45:42,673 --> 00:45:44,800
I missed you, Harry.
807
00:45:44,942 --> 00:45:47,240
You did?
808
00:45:47,377 --> 00:45:50,904
I'm no good without you.
809
00:45:51,048 --> 00:45:52,037
Time!
810
00:45:52,182 --> 00:45:53,672
Go get him!
811
00:45:59,089 --> 00:46:00,522
Can you get up?
812
00:46:00,657 --> 00:46:01,954
One...
813
00:46:02,092 --> 00:46:03,252
Just get up there.
two...
814
00:46:03,393 --> 00:46:04,519
Toe the line.
three...
815
00:46:04,661 --> 00:46:06,458
And give him the best
you've got. four...
816
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:08,224
five...
817
00:46:08,365 --> 00:46:11,129
six, seven...
818
00:46:15,539 --> 00:46:18,269
Oh, bless you, Bobo.
819
00:46:18,408 --> 00:46:20,000
The new champ!
Way to go, Hoss!
820
00:46:20,144 --> 00:46:21,406
Hoss? Hoss, how do you feel?
821
00:46:21,545 --> 00:46:23,069
Good going, Hoss!
I feel all right.
822
00:46:23,213 --> 00:46:24,680
I knew you could do it, Hoss!
823
00:46:24,815 --> 00:46:26,043
You did it, Hoss.
You whipped him!
824
00:46:29,686 --> 00:46:30,710
You beat the champ!
825
00:46:30,854 --> 00:46:31,878
I don't know.
826
00:46:32,022 --> 00:46:33,887
What are you driving at, son?
827
00:46:34,024 --> 00:46:37,425
He was... he was all alone, Pa.
828
00:46:39,296 --> 00:46:40,422
Oh...
829
00:46:40,564 --> 00:46:42,293
Give him a little room
now, boys.
830
00:46:42,432 --> 00:46:43,763
Boys, let's give him...
831
00:46:55,312 --> 00:46:57,940
We are here
to settle our account, sir.
832
00:46:58,081 --> 00:47:00,709
Harry, will you please
pay the gentleman?
833
00:47:00,851 --> 00:47:02,842
Yes.
834
00:47:05,255 --> 00:47:07,155
Here you are, governor.
835
00:47:07,291 --> 00:47:10,886
1,000 American dollars.
836
00:47:11,028 --> 00:47:12,893
Well.
837
00:47:13,030 --> 00:47:14,895
Thank you, gentlemen.
838
00:47:15,032 --> 00:47:18,024
Uh, Pa, ain't you going
to show them the, uh...
839
00:47:18,168 --> 00:47:20,534
you know.
840
00:47:20,671 --> 00:47:21,865
Oh, yes.
841
00:47:22,005 --> 00:47:23,996
Well, I-I almost forgot.
842
00:47:24,141 --> 00:47:26,507
I received a, uh, telegram
843
00:47:26,643 --> 00:47:29,009
from my son in San Francisco.
844
00:47:29,146 --> 00:47:31,046
Says, uh,
845
00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:34,742
"Benicia Boy will not fight you
in Virginia City."
846
00:47:37,354 --> 00:47:41,814
"But he would be happy
to meet you in San Francisco."
847
00:47:43,193 --> 00:47:45,388
You hear that, Bobo?
848
00:47:45,529 --> 00:47:46,655
We got the big one!
849
00:47:46,797 --> 00:47:48,025
Oh, blimey! Ha-ha!
850
00:47:49,633 --> 00:47:51,999
Mr. Cartwright?
Oh. Mr. Cartwright?
851
00:47:52,135 --> 00:47:54,399
I-I was just showing Mar...
852
00:47:54,538 --> 00:47:57,735
Oh, uh, pardon me.
853
00:47:57,875 --> 00:48:00,070
It's all right, J.D. Go ahead.
What were you going to say?
854
00:48:00,210 --> 00:48:03,236
Oh, well, I was just going
to say that...
855
00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:06,042
Marge loves the house.
856
00:48:06,183 --> 00:48:08,014
It's wonderful, Mr. Cartwright.
857
00:48:08,151 --> 00:48:10,210
I will not ask you
to shake hands,
858
00:48:10,354 --> 00:48:14,313
but, uh, I would like you both
to know how really sorry I am.
859
00:48:14,458 --> 00:48:16,790
Oh, that's, uh...
860
00:48:16,927 --> 00:48:18,019
That's all right.
861
00:48:18,161 --> 00:48:20,595
Come on, Bobo.
862
00:48:20,731 --> 00:48:22,699
San Francisco
and the Benicia Boy...
863
00:48:22,833 --> 00:48:24,164
and you'll murder him.
864
00:48:24,301 --> 00:48:25,734
Well, I don't know about that,
865
00:48:25,869 --> 00:48:28,565
but we'll have a good bash
at it, won't we, Harry?
866
00:48:28,705 --> 00:48:30,798
We will and all. Ta-ta.
867
00:48:37,648 --> 00:48:42,210
You know, when your little ones
come along...
868
00:48:42,352 --> 00:48:45,219
I hope they're a little smarter
than, uh, than those two.
869
00:48:45,355 --> 00:48:47,687
Hey, you know, Hoss,
I was just thinking.
870
00:48:47,824 --> 00:48:49,655
There's a... there's a fighter
in St. Louis,
871
00:48:49,793 --> 00:48:50,953
sort of an up-and-coming
heavyweight
872
00:48:51,094 --> 00:48:52,254
who's going out on the road.
873
00:48:52,396 --> 00:48:53,693
I was just wondering,
874
00:48:53,830 --> 00:48:57,231
if we worked on that left hook
of yours a little bit, if...
875
00:49:45,148 --> 00:49:47,878
This has been
a color presentation
876
00:49:48,018 --> 00:49:50,452
of the NBC Television Network.
62523
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