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1
00:00:19,150 --> 00:00:23,791
# I don't know where I'm going
but I'm on my way
2
00:00:24,751 --> 00:00:27,791
# As I go through life
3
00:00:29,752 --> 00:00:34,792
# Somewhere in the world
there's a place for me
4
00:00:36,153 --> 00:00:40,192
# Somewhere I will find me a new life
5
00:00:42,152 --> 00:00:44,753
# I don't know where I'm going
6
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,793
# but that's still OK
7
00:00:47,753 --> 00:00:50,794
# My dream is out there
8
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:57,195
# Never gonna stop
till that dream is mine
9
00:00:59,155 --> 00:01:03,196
# Gonna see what life's
all about then
10
00:01:05,156 --> 00:01:08,556
# Gotta get away to go in search
for something that
11
00:01:08,556 --> 00:01:10,557
# makes all the good times
12
00:01:10,557 --> 00:01:14,556
# Let the good times come
and turn my life around
13
00:01:14,556 --> 00:01:18,557
# I just gotta go and find a future
14
00:01:18,557 --> 00:01:20,957
# and leave the past behind me
15
00:01:20,957 --> 00:01:25,998
# Somewhere fame and fortune's
waiting to be found
16
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:32,999
# And I'm on my way-y-y
17
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:41,000
# Yes, I'm on my way-y-y
18
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:53,201
# Somewhere I will find me
a new life-e-e
19
00:02:02,162 --> 00:02:06,763
# Somewhere in the world
there's a place for me
20
00:02:06,763 --> 00:02:10,764
# Gotta get away to go in search
for something
21
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,764
# that makes all the good times
22
00:02:12,764 --> 00:02:16,764
# Let the good times come
and turn my life around
23
00:02:16,764 --> 00:02:21,365
# I just gotta go and find the future
24
00:02:21,365 --> 00:02:23,364
# and leave the past behind me
25
00:02:23,364 --> 00:02:28,365
# Somewhere fame and fortune's
waiting to be found
26
00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:30,405
# Oh, yeah
27
00:02:31,366 --> 00:02:35,406
# And I'm on my way-y-y #
28
00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:45,928
'I fell in love with Jacqueline
Susann the first time I saw her.'
29
00:02:45,928 --> 00:02:48,928
'She was starring on Broadway.'
30
00:02:51,929 --> 00:02:55,929
Allo? No, madame eez not 'ere.
31
00:02:55,929 --> 00:02:59,609
Oh, wait. I 'ear her coming. Madame?
32
00:03:03,329 --> 00:03:05,730
'OK, maybe not "starring"'.
33
00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:10,530
'Then came radio. Jungle Heat
with Florence Maybelle.'
34
00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:12,675
Ellen, I think we're really lost.
35
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:15,891
The native guides and
Uboo have disappeared.
36
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,892
Hey? What?
37
00:03:17,892 --> 00:03:22,252
We're lost in the jungle.
The heat is unbearable!
38
00:03:22,252 --> 00:03:25,253
'And acclaimed
personal appearances.'
39
00:03:25,253 --> 00:03:29,253
We swirl, coat and snack.
It's the Swiss sensation.
40
00:03:29,253 --> 00:03:31,814
Oh, shit!
41
00:03:35,893 --> 00:03:37,893
'She had it all.'
42
00:03:37,893 --> 00:03:41,294
'She just needed one little thing
to make it work.'
43
00:03:41,294 --> 00:03:43,294
'One final touch.'
44
00:03:43,294 --> 00:03:47,735
'The one thing every person needs
to make life complete.'
45
00:03:47,735 --> 00:03:50,335
Miss Susann?
46
00:03:50,335 --> 00:03:53,456
'A press agent. Me.'
Miss Susann?
47
00:03:53,456 --> 00:03:56,256
What?
48
00:03:56,256 --> 00:03:59,777
- Irving Mansfield.
- And?
49
00:03:59,777 --> 00:04:02,457
We met through Maury Manning.
50
00:04:02,457 --> 00:04:05,458
That son of a bitch! That worm!
51
00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:10,017
- We gotta talk.
- Really?
52
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:13,458
About the divorce?
Did you call a lawyer?
53
00:04:14,418 --> 00:04:16,898
It's not gonna happen. No can do.
54
00:04:16,898 --> 00:04:20,499
What do you mean, no can do?
You promised! You swore!
55
00:04:20,499 --> 00:04:24,819
Look, I'm sorry, cookie.
But, we're over. I got a show.
56
00:04:24,819 --> 00:04:30,260
How can you do this to me? What did I
do wrong? I laugh at everything you say.
57
00:04:30,260 --> 00:04:32,261
Oh, no, listen.
58
00:04:32,261 --> 00:04:37,101
Aw, hey, bright eyes, who's gonna
stay my number one fan, though, huh?
59
00:04:42,901 --> 00:04:46,022
Maury! Maury!
60
00:04:47,022 --> 00:04:49,022
Maury.
61
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,502
Oh, Maury.
62
00:04:51,502 --> 00:04:56,343
- Well, I WAS his publicist.
- Call the papers. Tell everybody.
63
00:04:56,343 --> 00:04:59,384
He's a lowlife.
He left me for his wife.
64
00:04:59,384 --> 00:05:02,864
We should talk.
65
00:05:03,984 --> 00:05:07,305
Not here.
Someplace nice, someplace snazzy.
66
00:05:07,305 --> 00:05:10,345
Don't be stupid.
I don't even know you.
67
00:05:10,345 --> 00:05:12,946
- My treat.
- Let's go.
68
00:05:19,906 --> 00:05:24,506
Wow, Lindy's. I'm really impressed.
Do you come here all the time?
69
00:05:24,506 --> 00:05:28,987
Are you kidding? Only every day.
All the big stars eat here.
70
00:05:28,987 --> 00:05:32,588
Look at them all.
Look at all the pictures. Jack Benny.
71
00:05:32,588 --> 00:05:37,068
- There's Henny Youngman. Milton Berle!
- Berle's the best. He's the greatest.
72
00:05:37,068 --> 00:05:39,639
When he puts on
a dress and a wig?
73
00:05:39,664 --> 00:05:42,868
And the lipstick and the lashes.
I love it.
74
00:05:42,869 --> 00:05:45,669
- This bread's fabulous.
- Don't fill up on it.
75
00:05:45,669 --> 00:05:49,299
Save your appetite.
What about Burns and Allen?
76
00:05:49,324 --> 00:05:51,870
- Aren't they a scream?
- Hysterical.
77
00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:55,270
Irving, you're smart. You have taste.
78
00:05:55,270 --> 00:05:59,551
Thank you.
So, Jackie, let's talk about you.
79
00:05:59,551 --> 00:06:01,711
It's about time.
80
00:06:01,711 --> 00:06:05,911
- I've gotta tell you, I've seen
all your work.
- Really? - Oh, sure.
81
00:06:05,911 --> 00:06:09,032
- Death Takes a Powder.
- I was the whole plot.
82
00:06:09,032 --> 00:06:11,911
I was crazy about you
on that radio thing.
83
00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:15,392
What a performance.
When that gorilla attacked you...
84
00:06:15,393 --> 00:06:18,193
- Yeah, I played both parts.
- That's versatility.
85
00:06:18,193 --> 00:06:22,194
I was so angry when you were killed
by that tribe of cannibals.
86
00:06:22,194 --> 00:06:26,795
- Wasn't it terrifying? They started
at my ankles. - Where have you been?
87
00:06:26,795 --> 00:06:28,794
What have you been up to?
88
00:06:28,794 --> 00:06:30,834
You first.
89
00:06:31,834 --> 00:06:36,435
I have a group of select clients,
primarily blue chip performers.
90
00:06:36,435 --> 00:06:40,436
- Do you know Perry Como?
- Only every song! Every album!
91
00:06:40,436 --> 00:06:43,836
- I handle his brother...
- Oh.
- ..in-law, ex.
92
00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:47,597
- A juggler. You know Danny Kaye?
- Danny Kaye?!
93
00:06:47,597 --> 00:06:51,597
- Isn't he great? And you?
- Me?
94
00:06:51,597 --> 00:06:56,598
Oh. Well, I'm... looking at several
major offers in different areas,
95
00:06:56,598 --> 00:07:01,599
and... people have approached me.
I'm in negotiations. You understand.
96
00:07:01,599 --> 00:07:03,598
Of course. You're in demand.
97
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:07,599
- I wouldn't wanna rush into anything.
- Savvy. Very wise.
98
00:07:07,599 --> 00:07:10,639
Except maybe this.
99
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:15,600
- Jackie? - How deep is this?
How long will it take?
100
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:19,600
- If I start choking and screaming,
don't listen! - Miss Susann!
101
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,281
- Just let me die! Just let me drown!
- Get out of there.
102
00:07:23,281 --> 00:07:25,881
You could catch something.
Germs, bacteria!
103
00:07:25,881 --> 00:07:30,322
Tell the papers it was an accident!
Tell them I was about to make it big!
104
00:07:30,322 --> 00:07:33,482
Here's your headline,
"A Star Sinks!"
105
00:07:33,482 --> 00:07:35,923
- That's good.
- They won't print it!
106
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:40,923
There won't be a picture! Even if
I die! Because I'm nothing! I'm nobody!
107
00:07:40,923 --> 00:07:43,773
That's not true. If you
drown in the duck pond,
108
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,562
you'd get a big picture.
People would love it.
109
00:07:46,563 --> 00:07:50,964
I haven't worked for over a year!
I haven't eaten in a week!
110
00:07:50,964 --> 00:07:54,044
I can't get an agent!
I can't get an audition!
111
00:07:54,044 --> 00:07:58,365
- Hang on! - They won't even let me
demonstrate margarine in a supermarket!
112
00:07:58,365 --> 00:08:03,406
- They say I'm too intense!
- 'Cause they're all morons.
113
00:08:03,406 --> 00:08:07,446
You're not! You're gorgeous!
You're perfect for margarine.
114
00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:11,337
But I'm not blonde! I'm not some
tiny little thing with blue eyes!
115
00:08:11,362 --> 00:08:14,005
I'm not what they want
or what anybody wants!
116
00:08:14,006 --> 00:08:19,887
- That's not true! - My whole life has been
the same story, over and over. I'm coming!
117
00:08:19,887 --> 00:08:22,368
Maury didn't want me.
118
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,488
I want you!
119
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:30,009
You do?
120
00:08:31,769 --> 00:08:35,770
- You want me?
- When Maury dumped you, it tore me apart...
121
00:08:35,770 --> 00:08:40,370
.... but I was glad, secretly.
That's why I left him. I quit!
122
00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:42,651
You quit over me?
123
00:08:42,651 --> 00:08:45,931
And because he fired me.
But that was his reason.
124
00:08:45,931 --> 00:08:49,931
To me, it was all about you,
completely, from top to bottom.
125
00:08:49,931 --> 00:08:53,851
Jackie, I want you.
126
00:08:53,851 --> 00:08:55,852
Oh, Irving.
127
00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:59,532
- As a woman...
- Oh, my God.
128
00:08:59,532 --> 00:09:01,893
...and a client.
129
00:09:01,893 --> 00:09:05,413
Irving, don't say that
if you don't mean it.
130
00:09:05,413 --> 00:09:09,774
But, I do. I do with all my heart.
I'll... give you my card...
131
00:09:09,774 --> 00:09:11,774
... a dry one.
132
00:09:11,774 --> 00:09:16,775
All I want
is just what everybody wants.
133
00:09:16,775 --> 00:09:20,775
One little thing.
One tiny little dream.
134
00:09:20,775 --> 00:09:23,775
- What's that?
- To be famous.
135
00:09:23,775 --> 00:09:27,775
World famous. To make some noise.
136
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:33,136
To let everybody know I was here. To
live forever. Is that so much to ask?
137
00:09:33,136 --> 00:09:36,737
Not at all. It's America.
I'll help you.
138
00:09:36,737 --> 00:09:38,897
I guarantee. I swear it.
139
00:09:38,897 --> 00:09:41,897
I will use all my connections.
I will beg,
140
00:09:41,897 --> 00:09:44,378
I will bribe, I will make calls.
141
00:09:44,378 --> 00:09:47,818
Calls?! When? Who to?
Who do you know?
142
00:09:47,818 --> 00:09:52,219
The Tribune, Winchell, the Post.
I can get you in tomorrow's papers.
143
00:09:52,219 --> 00:09:56,300
Jackie Susann has dinner at Lindy's.
Thought the bread was boffo.
144
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:58,299
You... you can do that?
145
00:09:58,299 --> 00:10:00,339
I want...
146
00:10:01,299 --> 00:10:04,180
I want to make you so famous.
147
00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:08,700
Irving.
148
00:10:10,661 --> 00:10:13,701
'Here's your host, Brad Bradburn!'
149
00:10:18,942 --> 00:10:21,422
Thank you! Thank you!
150
00:10:21,422 --> 00:10:26,263
Welcome to the game Tri-State
can't stop playing, What's My Job?
151
00:10:26,263 --> 00:10:28,783
Brought to you by Ever-grip.
152
00:10:28,783 --> 00:10:31,744
The denture adhesive
that just won't let go.
153
00:10:31,744 --> 00:10:34,343
Thanks, Tammy. Let's meet our panel.
154
00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:39,534
First, we have everybody's favourite City
University civics whiz Professor Brainiac.
155
00:10:42,304 --> 00:10:47,315
Beside him is the lovely star of
It Came From Beneath the World,
156
00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:48,985
Miss Bambi Madison!
157
00:10:48,985 --> 00:10:53,026
Hi, everybody!
158
00:10:53,026 --> 00:10:58,747
Finally, welcome noted Broadway
actress, radio and showbiz personality,
159
00:10:58,747 --> 00:11:00,747
Miss Jacqueline Susan!
160
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,308
It's Suse-ann.
161
00:11:03,308 --> 00:11:07,587
Suzanne Susann, yes. Now,
let's bring out our first guest.
162
00:11:07,587 --> 00:11:10,348
Enter and sign in, please.
163
00:11:16,228 --> 00:11:20,229
All right, Leslie, why don't you
take a seat over here?
164
00:11:20,229 --> 00:11:23,910
Panel, the clock is ticking.
Audience?
165
00:11:23,910 --> 00:11:25,950
What's my job?
166
00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:29,470
- Professor?
- Do you provide a valuable service?
167
00:11:29,470 --> 00:11:32,711
- Yes, I do.
- Bambi?
168
00:11:32,711 --> 00:11:37,512
I'm appearing in It Came From
Beneath the World, where I play
169
00:11:37,512 --> 00:11:41,592
a beautiful archaeologist.
Are you a beautiful archaeologist?
170
00:11:41,592 --> 00:11:43,592
No.
171
00:11:43,592 --> 00:11:45,592
Suzanne?
172
00:11:45,592 --> 00:11:49,752
In your job, do you wear a uniform?
173
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:52,433
- Yes, I do.
- Good question.
174
00:11:52,433 --> 00:11:58,274
- In It Came From Beneath the World, so do I!
Are you an actress? - No.
175
00:11:58,274 --> 00:12:01,954
- She's not an actress!
- Are you?
176
00:12:01,954 --> 00:12:04,435
- Excuse me?
- Isn't she great?
177
00:12:04,435 --> 00:12:08,355
- Do you work for the government?
- No.
178
00:12:08,355 --> 00:12:13,356
In my next movie, Creature From
Beyond, I play a beautiful teacher.
179
00:12:13,356 --> 00:12:15,436
What do you teach?
180
00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:17,916
Students.
181
00:12:17,916 --> 00:12:20,956
- Are you a teacher?
- No.
182
00:12:20,956 --> 00:12:23,436
Are you a brunette?
183
00:12:23,436 --> 00:12:27,762
You know, I'm a big movie star
and I've never even heard of you.
184
00:12:27,787 --> 00:12:29,597
Have you ever heard of her?
185
00:12:29,597 --> 00:12:33,598
- Time's running out.
- Do you do repair work?
- No.
186
00:12:33,598 --> 00:12:39,119
- Are you an astronaut? - No.
- Are you an idiot? - Brad!
187
00:12:39,119 --> 00:12:42,119
Time's up. I'm sorry. Leslie.
188
00:12:42,119 --> 00:12:44,560
I'm an optometrist.
189
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:48,960
Oh, me too.
I always look on the bright side.
190
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,641
How could you find the bright side?
191
00:12:51,641 --> 00:12:56,160
And now a word from Ever-grip.
The denture adhesive that won't let go.
192
00:12:56,160 --> 00:13:00,641
Congratulations, Leslie.
You go home with $25!
193
00:13:00,641 --> 00:13:03,921
I hope you enjoyed playing
What's My Job!
194
00:13:15,523 --> 00:13:18,524
They canned me?
195
00:13:18,524 --> 00:13:21,524
How could they can me
after only one show?
196
00:13:21,524 --> 00:13:26,525
They didn't can you. They requested you
not to come back, ever. They loved you.
197
00:13:26,525 --> 00:13:30,524
- If they loved me, why can't I
come back? - They loved you too much.
198
00:13:30,524 --> 00:13:35,045
- You're too special.
- Should I be less special? Oh, God!
199
00:13:35,045 --> 00:13:39,046
- What do they want? - They want you.
They just don't know it yet.
200
00:13:39,046 --> 00:13:43,846
When will they know? When are they
gonna get with it? I'm almost 30.
201
00:13:43,846 --> 00:13:47,127
- Right!
- Fuck you!
- But you look great.
202
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:51,127
Like a teenager.
A sophisticated teenager.
203
00:13:51,127 --> 00:13:54,168
Oh, but Irving, I got fired. Again.
204
00:13:55,128 --> 00:13:58,302
And now I'm going home
to my studio apartment,
205
00:13:58,327 --> 00:14:00,529
to brown walls and a Murphy bed.
206
00:14:00,529 --> 00:14:03,608
So leave. Don't go in there.
207
00:14:03,608 --> 00:14:05,609
Where should I go?
208
00:14:05,609 --> 00:14:08,289
To my place.
209
00:14:08,289 --> 00:14:11,089
No. To our place.
210
00:14:11,089 --> 00:14:14,090
Wait.
211
00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:21,531
Cashmere and wool, 60/40, imported.
What are you doing?
212
00:14:21,531 --> 00:14:24,011
I don't believe this.
213
00:14:24,011 --> 00:14:26,412
Marry me.
214
00:14:29,892 --> 00:14:32,373
Marriage?
215
00:14:32,373 --> 00:14:36,293
Oh, Irving,
that's a... that's a big decision.
216
00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:40,333
- The biggest. The clincher.
- Well, before I...
217
00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:44,893
Before I say yes, before I sign on,
there's somebody I want to talk to.
218
00:14:45,854 --> 00:14:48,014
Who?
219
00:14:48,014 --> 00:14:51,494
See, I don't trust psychiatrists.
220
00:14:51,494 --> 00:14:57,095
They nap. I had this great psychic.
She did my chart. She got deported.
221
00:14:57,095 --> 00:15:00,496
- Now how come she didn't
see that coming? - Right.
222
00:15:00,496 --> 00:15:03,856
So now, whenever I need to talk,
I come here.
223
00:15:03,856 --> 00:15:06,857
To him.
224
00:15:06,857 --> 00:15:09,097
Him?
225
00:15:09,097 --> 00:15:11,577
Him, him.
226
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:15,177
Oh, Him. Right. Gotcha.
227
00:15:15,177 --> 00:15:17,897
Go ahead, say something.
228
00:15:17,897 --> 00:15:20,378
How are ya?
229
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:24,378
Kudos on the weather.
The whole week, gorgeous.
230
00:15:24,378 --> 00:15:28,379
It's me, Jackie. Did you see
What's My Job this morning?
231
00:15:28,379 --> 00:15:31,859
Was that the best you could do?
OK, I'm sorry. I know.
232
00:15:31,859 --> 00:15:36,460
People are starving and dying.
You have other things on your mind.
233
00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:38,940
But, listen!
234
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:44,861
This man, this person, this...
this publicist wants to marry me.
235
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,982
Irv Mansfield.
236
00:15:46,982 --> 00:15:50,661
He's a good man. He's a kind man.
237
00:15:50,661 --> 00:15:53,142
Very well dressed.
238
00:15:53,142 --> 00:15:57,142
In fact, I don't even know
if I'm worthy of such a man.
239
00:15:57,142 --> 00:15:59,623
Oh, Jackie.
240
00:15:59,623 --> 00:16:02,623
- Sit tight. What?
- Could I?
241
00:16:02,623 --> 00:16:05,103
Be my guest.
242
00:16:05,103 --> 00:16:07,624
This... this angel,
243
00:16:07,624 --> 00:16:10,104
this Jackie,
244
00:16:10,104 --> 00:16:12,624
this stunning,
245
00:16:12,624 --> 00:16:15,105
multi-gifted woman.
246
00:16:15,105 --> 00:16:17,585
You do wonderful work.
247
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:23,185
Some people don't understand her.
They don't get it. But they will.
248
00:16:23,185 --> 00:16:27,186
I'll make them.
I'll force them. Because...
249
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:30,226
I love her so much.
250
00:16:31,186 --> 00:16:35,227
And I think I can get her
a TV commercial.
251
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:46,508
- God wants to know what kind of
a TV commercial. - Network, national.
252
00:16:50,789 --> 00:16:53,269
God says yes!
253
00:16:53,269 --> 00:16:55,790
Isn't she great?
254
00:16:57,630 --> 00:17:01,430
'Then came the happiest day
of my life.'
255
00:17:01,430 --> 00:17:05,830
'We rushed down to City Hall,
and I kept my word.'
256
00:17:05,830 --> 00:17:08,831
- This way, boys!
- Oh! Hello, boys!
257
00:17:08,831 --> 00:17:12,671
'We had full press coverage.
All seven dailies.'
258
00:17:12,671 --> 00:17:16,952
Back, please. Do your stuff, honey.
'And I got her that commercial.'
259
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:23,913
Why, hello. I'm Jacqueline Susann. And
when I'm not appearing on stage or screen,
260
00:17:23,913 --> 00:17:28,074
you'll find me right here surrounded
by everything I love best.
261
00:17:28,074 --> 00:17:31,714
Home, family
and Schiffli embroidery.
262
00:17:31,714 --> 00:17:35,674
Look at Josephine. Oh, my God!
She looks fabulous.
263
00:17:35,674 --> 00:17:39,594
- A star is born.
- For special occasions.
264
00:17:39,594 --> 00:17:42,115
And everyday...
265
00:17:42,115 --> 00:17:44,755
Ohhh! Choreography!
266
00:17:44,755 --> 00:17:48,156
..with Schiffli.
267
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:53,636
Honey, bravo! You were incredible.
268
00:17:53,636 --> 00:17:54,891
You made me wanna sew.
269
00:17:54,916 --> 00:17:58,597
'..announced that the chances
of nuclear war are only 30%.'
270
00:17:58,597 --> 00:18:00,224
Irving, we have to talk.
271
00:18:00,249 --> 00:18:05,037
And now you're in every home in
America, like Corn Flakes! Like beer!
272
00:18:05,038 --> 00:18:07,959
- And it's just the beginning.
- Settle down.
273
00:18:07,959 --> 00:18:11,958
- What? - I got something
to tell ya. Big news.
274
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:16,599
- Bigger than Schiffli?
- The biggest.
275
00:18:16,599 --> 00:18:19,079
- Ready?
- Ready.
276
00:18:19,079 --> 00:18:23,800
Everybody! Your attention, please.
A major headline, a breaking story.
277
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:29,201
Miss Jacqueline Susann, star of stage,
screen, and Schiffli embroidery,
278
00:18:29,201 --> 00:18:32,201
has something to tell you.
An exclusive.
279
00:18:32,201 --> 00:18:34,001
Well,
280
00:18:34,001 --> 00:18:36,482
in just about seven months,
281
00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:41,203
Irving and I are having...
a blessed event.
282
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:44,762
- A brand-new, human life!
- More me!
283
00:18:49,923 --> 00:18:53,163
Oh, ho! Thanks!
284
00:18:55,404 --> 00:18:59,444
'And then, our precious son
was born.'
285
00:19:01,405 --> 00:19:04,485
'He was special... but different.'
286
00:19:04,485 --> 00:19:09,006
'We did the best we could.
But, finally,'
287
00:19:09,006 --> 00:19:12,886
'we had to make
a terrible decision.'
288
00:19:19,006 --> 00:19:23,927
You'll find that it's a fine institution.
The child will receive excellent care.
289
00:19:23,927 --> 00:19:27,887
Guy. His name is Guy. He has a name.
290
00:19:27,887 --> 00:19:29,568
Guy. Yes.
291
00:19:30,648 --> 00:19:35,569
- We specialize in long-term care
for the retarded. - He's not retarded!
292
00:19:35,569 --> 00:19:38,569
That's not the right word.
That's not Guy.
293
00:19:38,569 --> 00:19:41,505
- No, of course not.
- As I was going to say,
294
00:19:41,530 --> 00:19:45,210
Pembroke also specializes
in cases of severe autism.
295
00:19:45,210 --> 00:19:49,771
Now this is
the only practical solution.
296
00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:59,051
And we could come up there
to see him, whenever we want?
297
00:19:59,051 --> 00:20:01,971
Absolutely. Every week.
298
00:20:04,732 --> 00:20:07,252
I'm sorry.
299
00:20:19,014 --> 00:20:23,615
All right, what's going on?
Why hasn't she returned my calls?
300
00:20:23,615 --> 00:20:27,015
- Flo, I'm sorry.
- It's been months. Where is she?
301
00:20:27,015 --> 00:20:29,014
- She's not ready.
- She's not ready?
302
00:20:29,014 --> 00:20:31,763
She's not ready for compassion?
For sensitivity?
303
00:20:31,787 --> 00:20:35,014
- She's not ready for the best
friend she's ever had? - Soon.
304
00:20:35,015 --> 00:20:39,016
- Now.
- I am making a personal appearance.
305
00:20:39,016 --> 00:20:41,096
- Flo, don't!
- Jacqueline.
306
00:20:41,096 --> 00:20:43,177
Go away.
307
00:20:43,177 --> 00:20:49,017
- Get out.
- It's me. It's Florence Maybelle. It's Flo.
- I recognise you.
308
00:20:49,017 --> 00:20:53,538
- I heard about Guy.
- What did you hear? Guy's fine.
309
00:20:53,538 --> 00:20:57,059
- He's recuperating out of town.
He has asthma. - Jackie?
310
00:20:57,059 --> 00:20:59,859
I've got the papers.
Variety. Backstage.
311
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,860
- Who cares?
- Jackie!
312
00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:05,859
Flo, can I get you something?
Coffee? Gin?
313
00:21:05,859 --> 00:21:10,420
Later. Listen to me, both of you.
I, too, have a child.
314
00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:13,820
- A child I never see.
- Why not?
315
00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:16,421
I don't want to. Oh, sweetheart,
316
00:21:16,421 --> 00:21:19,661
- you can't spend the rest of
your life in bed. - Why not?
317
00:21:19,661 --> 00:21:24,262
- What should I get up for, except
my son? - But you see Guy once a week.
318
00:21:24,262 --> 00:21:26,613
You've got to think
about your career.
319
00:21:26,635 --> 00:21:29,579
Career. What career? It'll
never happen for me.
320
00:21:29,582 --> 00:21:34,183
Sweetheart, things are gonna turn
around. Any day now, any second.
321
00:21:34,183 --> 00:21:37,184
It's just the business peaks
and valleys.
322
00:21:37,184 --> 00:21:42,343
A year ago, Sinatra was garbage, over.
Today, he's Vegas. He's headlining.
323
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:47,664
- It can happen to you. Talent isn't everything.
- When's it gonna happen?
324
00:21:47,664 --> 00:21:52,145
When's the world gonna open its arms
and say "Jackie Susann, we love ya"?
325
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:55,145
- Jackie, I love you.
- And I love you.
326
00:21:55,145 --> 00:21:59,306
I know, and I appreciate it. I do.
But you're just two people.
327
00:21:59,306 --> 00:22:03,587
That's just a start.
I need more. I do.
328
00:22:03,587 --> 00:22:06,627
I need... mass love.
329
00:22:06,627 --> 00:22:09,067
Mass love?
330
00:22:21,148 --> 00:22:23,188
# Mass love
331
00:22:47,432 --> 00:22:50,391
# Mass love... #
332
00:23:01,473 --> 00:23:03,393
Oh, hi.
333
00:23:07,754 --> 00:23:11,515
- Afternoon, Mr. Mansfield.
- Oh, afternoon, Danny.
334
00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:14,515
Come on, come on, Josie.
335
00:23:14,515 --> 00:23:17,954
Eat a little something. For me.
Keep up your strength.
336
00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:19,516
No. Not till I'm famous.
337
00:23:19,516 --> 00:23:24,516
I'm going on a hunger strike, like
whatshisname? Gandhi. He got famous!
338
00:23:24,516 --> 00:23:28,156
- And thin.
- A book!
339
00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:31,957
- A book!
- Oh, come on, Irving.
340
00:23:31,957 --> 00:23:35,757
- Reading never solved anything.
- She's not gonna read a book.
341
00:23:35,757 --> 00:23:38,798
- What are you talking about?
- You're gonna write one.
342
00:23:38,798 --> 00:23:43,798
Irving, stop. You're crazy.
A book. I can't write a book.
343
00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:46,999
You can. You can do anything.
You wrote a play.
344
00:23:46,999 --> 00:23:48,999
It was a bomb.
345
00:23:48,999 --> 00:23:51,142
You wrote articles
about Josephine.
346
00:23:51,167 --> 00:23:53,999
- People loved them. They went wild.
- She's a dog!
347
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,000
You write beautiful
letters to Guy.
348
00:23:56,025 --> 00:24:00,000
They read them to him like that one
where you described your mink coat.
349
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:04,600
- I was inspired.
- Writers get famous, world famous.
350
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:08,681
They get legendary.
You know, he's got a point there.
351
00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:14,042
You think about Hemingway and...
Dickens, and... I'm sure there are others.
352
00:24:14,042 --> 00:24:18,523
But Flo, a book. A whole book.
What the hell am I gonna write about?
353
00:24:18,523 --> 00:24:22,003
- I got it.
- What?
- You write about me.
354
00:24:22,003 --> 00:24:24,556
No, you write about
this beautiful actress...
355
00:24:24,581 --> 00:24:27,283
...and all the handsome
young men who desire her.
356
00:24:27,284 --> 00:24:30,284
Science fiction?
357
00:24:30,284 --> 00:24:34,324
- Do you remember the movie
I Remember Mama? - Irene Dunne.
358
00:24:34,324 --> 00:24:39,125
Right. She played a Swedish woman who
had a daughter who wanted to be a writer.
359
00:24:39,125 --> 00:24:43,525
- Can you believe she got a nomination
for that? It was a slow year. - Flo!
360
00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:48,126
The little girl was in the kitchen
with her wonderful, Swedish mother.
361
00:24:48,126 --> 00:24:51,126
And the mother said,
"Write about what you know."
362
00:24:51,126 --> 00:24:55,127
So she wrote about her Swedish
mother. It was a blockbuster.
363
00:24:55,127 --> 00:24:58,127
But I don't have
a wonderful Swedish mother!
364
00:24:58,127 --> 00:25:01,128
And all I know about
is show business.
365
00:25:01,128 --> 00:25:04,565
All I know about are people
fucking their way into movies,
366
00:25:04,590 --> 00:25:07,128
popping pills and winding
up in the gutter.
367
00:25:07,129 --> 00:25:13,169
All I know about are ageing stars,
hopeful whores and cheap studs.
368
00:25:13,169 --> 00:25:18,449
All I know about are tits, ass
and the truth.
369
00:25:21,090 --> 00:25:24,530
And nobody writes books about that.
370
00:25:26,491 --> 00:25:28,891
Why not?
371
00:25:31,851 --> 00:25:33,852
Jackie?
372
00:25:33,852 --> 00:25:35,892
Yeah?
373
00:25:36,852 --> 00:25:41,133
You wouldn't use real names,
would you?
374
00:25:42,893 --> 00:25:46,693
"He held her gently
and stroked her hair."
375
00:25:46,693 --> 00:25:49,733
"Oh, Lyon, it happened."
376
00:25:52,694 --> 00:25:57,494
"I was beginning to worry about
myself. Not at all."
377
00:25:57,494 --> 00:26:01,040
"It's very rare for a girl
to actually feel anything..."
378
00:26:01,065 --> 00:26:03,559
"...or reach a climax,
in the beginning."
379
00:26:08,496 --> 00:26:13,497
"She stroked the beaver coat
one night with Robbie."
380
00:26:13,497 --> 00:26:18,137
"That's what a great body was for,
to get things you wanted."
381
00:26:19,096 --> 00:26:22,937
"She wondered what it would be like,
really to care,"
382
00:26:22,937 --> 00:26:26,137
"to love someone like Lyon Burke."
383
00:26:27,098 --> 00:26:30,098
"Then she opened the bottle of pills."
384
00:26:30,098 --> 00:26:33,099
"She took two of them."
385
00:26:33,099 --> 00:26:36,739
"One worked, but two..."
386
00:26:36,739 --> 00:26:40,780
Sally, she's taking to this writing
thing like a duck to water.
387
00:26:40,780 --> 00:26:45,780
- She calls me her literary advisor,
her muse. I don't know.
- Irving!
388
00:26:45,780 --> 00:26:48,781
- Yeah?
- Can I write about having orgasms?
389
00:26:48,781 --> 00:26:50,781
Yes.
390
00:26:50,781 --> 00:26:54,781
You've never heard such typing.
She's a regular Shakespeare.
391
00:26:54,781 --> 00:26:57,261
- Irving?
- Yes?
392
00:26:57,261 --> 00:27:00,742
- What about orgasms
in swimming pools? - Even better.
393
00:27:00,742 --> 00:27:05,422
Did you hear? Even Shakespeare didn't
think of that, on his best day.
394
00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:21,945
"The soft numbness began to slither
through her body..."
395
00:27:21,945 --> 00:27:26,946
Sweetheart. Chapter twelve,
Jennifer's wedding night.
396
00:27:26,946 --> 00:27:30,945
She's marrying Tony Polar,
the handsome nightclub singer.
397
00:27:30,945 --> 00:27:36,546
He wants her to perform an
unspeakable sexual act? I'm lost.
398
00:27:36,546 --> 00:27:39,586
- Up the butt!
- Gotcha.
399
00:27:45,067 --> 00:27:49,348
"An angry concrete animal
caught unawares in a hot spell."
400
00:27:52,188 --> 00:27:56,229
"September had been a good month.
October brought Lyon Burke."
401
00:27:56,229 --> 00:28:00,710
"He crawled on his knees after her.
She backed away again."
402
00:28:00,710 --> 00:28:03,750
"'Tony, all of this is not yours.'"
403
00:28:03,750 --> 00:28:07,750
"'It's mine.' He came after her.
She eluded him again."
404
00:28:07,750 --> 00:28:11,910
"She stroked her thighs, her
fingers touching between her legs."
405
00:28:11,910 --> 00:28:15,631
"'That's mine, too',
she said softly."
406
00:28:15,631 --> 00:28:20,031
"'Who are you protecting?
A whore who contaminated my pool?'"
407
00:28:20,031 --> 00:28:23,952
"'You mean nothing to him.
He likes boys for his diversion.'"
408
00:28:26,912 --> 00:28:31,713
"'I can't believe it, every time
I touch them, I can't believe it.'"
409
00:28:31,713 --> 00:28:35,514
"His mouth, it was greedy.
She held his head gently."
410
00:28:35,514 --> 00:28:40,193
"'I never want to move',
he mumbled." The end.
411
00:28:40,193 --> 00:28:43,394
And so,
412
00:28:43,394 --> 00:28:47,354
is it good? Is it great?
413
00:28:47,354 --> 00:28:51,595
It's gotta be great. Is it
the greatest thing you've ever read?
414
00:28:53,555 --> 00:28:57,036
Honey, it's incredible.
415
00:28:57,996 --> 00:29:00,476
It's like...
416
00:29:00,476 --> 00:29:04,037
- ...Madame Bovary.
- Name a real book!
417
00:29:04,037 --> 00:29:06,677
It's like Gone With The Wind.
418
00:29:06,677 --> 00:29:11,118
Like the movie? You mean, it's like
a book that could win an Oscar?
419
00:29:11,118 --> 00:29:14,838
- Only filthier!
- Irving!
420
00:29:26,159 --> 00:29:29,612
Mr. Hunter says to tell
you that your manuscript
421
00:29:29,635 --> 00:29:32,558
is not what we're
looking for right now.
422
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:37,001
- What?! - So, sweetheart, tell me,
what are they looking for?
423
00:29:37,001 --> 00:29:38,921
Quality.
424
00:29:46,842 --> 00:29:50,082
Please understand,
this isn't any fun for me.
425
00:29:50,082 --> 00:29:55,082
But the fact is, there really isn't a place
for this sort of thing here at Putnam.
426
00:29:55,082 --> 00:29:58,083
Why not? I want a reason.
427
00:29:58,083 --> 00:30:01,443
We publish primarily classic
literary fiction
428
00:30:01,443 --> 00:30:04,204
in the tradition of William
Faulkner and Herman Melville.
429
00:30:04,204 --> 00:30:06,804
They're dead! They've stopped.
430
00:30:06,804 --> 00:30:09,685
You've gotta be kidding.
This is a gold mine.
431
00:30:09,685 --> 00:30:13,445
- There might be some interest
at another house. - Like which one?
432
00:30:13,445 --> 00:30:17,726
- Yours. - You fucking little
snot-nosed Ivy-League putz!
433
00:30:17,726 --> 00:30:21,526
You're talking to a lady.
434
00:30:21,526 --> 00:30:24,446
Sweetheart, are you all right?
435
00:30:27,446 --> 00:30:32,247
I'm f-f-fine. I'm just upset.
436
00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:57,811
'We are delighted to present
James Brown on this show.'
437
00:30:57,811 --> 00:31:02,290
'So, let's have a fine welcome
to a very fine talent.'
438
00:31:12,332 --> 00:31:14,692
# Come here sister... #
439
00:31:14,692 --> 00:31:19,213
Irving. Irving. Come in.
You gotta see this guy.
440
00:31:19,213 --> 00:31:20,773
# He ain't too hip #
441
00:31:20,773 --> 00:31:24,614
# About that new breed babe #
442
00:31:24,614 --> 00:31:27,574
# He ain't no drag #
443
00:31:27,574 --> 00:31:30,535
# Papa's got a brand new bag. #
444
00:31:30,655 --> 00:31:32,535
This guy's great!
445
00:31:32,535 --> 00:31:34,334
# Wow! I feel good! #
446
00:31:34,334 --> 00:31:37,295
# I knew that I would now #
447
00:31:37,295 --> 00:31:40,495
# I feel good... #
448
00:31:40,495 --> 00:31:42,815
Irving!
449
00:31:42,815 --> 00:31:44,176
# So good! #
450
00:31:44,176 --> 00:31:47,096
# So good! I got you! #
451
00:31:53,577 --> 00:31:56,137
# When I hold you in my arms... #
452
00:31:56,137 --> 00:31:59,498
This guy's gonna go far.
I'm telling you.
453
00:31:59,498 --> 00:32:01,418
# When I hold you in my arms #
454
00:32:01,418 --> 00:32:04,099
# My love can't do me no harm... #
455
00:32:04,099 --> 00:32:07,699
I need to talk to you.
456
00:32:10,379 --> 00:32:15,259
Is it that guy from Viking? The shithead
with the tweed vest and the bad teeth?
457
00:32:15,259 --> 00:32:19,260
- Like that proves he can read.
- No, no. It wasn't about the book.
458
00:32:19,260 --> 00:32:22,700
It was... well...
459
00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:25,981
Is it about Guy? Oh, my God.
460
00:32:25,981 --> 00:32:29,021
- What's wrong?
- No, he's fine. Tops.
461
00:32:32,982 --> 00:32:36,302
Is it the doctor? My doctor?
462
00:32:36,302 --> 00:32:39,343
About the tests?
463
00:32:43,583 --> 00:32:45,743
What...? What'd he say?
464
00:32:45,743 --> 00:32:50,504
- Baby, do you remember Greta Garbo
in Camille? - Yeah.
465
00:32:50,504 --> 00:32:54,504
- She was so beautiful, even with all
the coughing. - What are you talking about?
466
00:32:54,504 --> 00:32:59,065
Remember Bette Davis in Dark Victory?
That was one of your favourites.
467
00:32:59,065 --> 00:33:02,105
Irving, what did the doctor say?
468
00:33:19,108 --> 00:33:22,587
- Do the warm-up.
- Sit, sweetheart.
469
00:33:22,587 --> 00:33:25,068
Sit for mommy!
470
00:33:25,068 --> 00:33:30,068
You've got a lady waiting. She's got
something to say, a bone to pick.
471
00:33:30,068 --> 00:33:33,709
- Come on.
- I give you Miss Jacqueline Susann.
472
00:33:36,109 --> 00:33:39,110
- Fuck you! Don't interrupt me.
- Jackie!
473
00:33:39,110 --> 00:33:43,110
All I ever wanted was to be somebody.
474
00:33:43,110 --> 00:33:48,111
And I was on my way.
Vaudeville, Schiffli, radio.
475
00:33:48,111 --> 00:33:53,112
Then I have a baby, a gorgeous baby
who screams every time I touch him.
476
00:33:53,112 --> 00:33:56,111
But that's OK. He's my baby.
I love him.
477
00:33:56,111 --> 00:34:01,112
I want to make him proud, proud of
his famous mother. So I write a book.
478
00:34:01,112 --> 00:34:06,713
- A wonderful book. - A fabulous book,
a bestseller, which nobody fucking wants!
479
00:34:06,713 --> 00:34:10,713
But I'm working on it. I'm out there.
I'm gonna show 'em all.
480
00:34:10,713 --> 00:34:13,714
And then, whoops, ding-dong.
481
00:34:13,714 --> 00:34:17,314
"Who's there? Why, it's cancer."
482
00:34:17,314 --> 00:34:22,635
- I get fucking goddamn breast cancer!
- Excuse us, we're in a meeting.
483
00:34:22,635 --> 00:34:26,076
- Sorry.
- Were you bored?
484
00:34:26,076 --> 00:34:30,395
Were you having a bad day? Did you
just say, "Hey, Jackie Susann...
485
00:34:30,395 --> 00:34:34,356
- "...simply hasn't had enough shit
lately?" - I have to agree.
486
00:34:34,356 --> 00:34:37,356
You owe me!
487
00:34:37,356 --> 00:34:41,717
Big time! So, cut the crap!
No more bullshit.
488
00:34:41,717 --> 00:34:45,318
Here's the deal. I keep going.
489
00:34:45,318 --> 00:34:47,798
But you start helping!
490
00:34:47,798 --> 00:34:50,838
I can't do everything myself!
491
00:34:51,799 --> 00:34:55,799
Come on! Get on the phone!
492
00:34:55,799 --> 00:34:57,959
Now!
493
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,959
Make... me... famous!
494
00:35:36,124 --> 00:35:39,165
Morning, Stacey.
Hi.
495
00:35:43,124 --> 00:35:46,605
- Morning.
- What do you got for me? Anything?
496
00:35:46,605 --> 00:35:49,085
Oh, just these here.
497
00:35:49,085 --> 00:35:51,605
No, no and no.
498
00:35:52,566 --> 00:35:55,606
Morning.
Hey, Lou.
499
00:36:03,807 --> 00:36:07,808
Hey, kids. Where's the fire?
I love saying that.
500
00:36:07,808 --> 00:36:09,848
Henry,
501
00:36:09,848 --> 00:36:14,049
I forbid you to acquire this book.
This is trash. This is...
502
00:36:14,049 --> 00:36:17,208
- ...illiterate garbage.
- Don't be so prissy.
503
00:36:17,208 --> 00:36:19,929
It's unreadable!
504
00:36:19,929 --> 00:36:23,009
Valley of the Dolls
sounds like a children's book.
505
00:36:23,009 --> 00:36:26,530
Henry, dolls are pills.
Uppers, downers.
506
00:36:26,530 --> 00:36:28,530
A very cool children's book.
507
00:36:28,530 --> 00:36:31,850
It's salacious, perverted,
soft-core porn.
508
00:36:31,850 --> 00:36:34,251
Can we put that on the cover?
509
00:36:34,251 --> 00:36:37,589
I think it's exciting and not
just because it upsets Michael,
510
00:36:37,614 --> 00:36:40,012
- although that's a very good sign.
- Excuse me?
511
00:36:40,012 --> 00:36:43,972
Henry, I am telling you,
this book is on to something.
512
00:36:43,972 --> 00:36:47,693
- Something totally new.
- I dig new.
513
00:36:47,693 --> 00:36:52,292
- The author can't write! - That's new.
That's fresh. Nobody's done that.
514
00:36:52,292 --> 00:36:54,333
That's appalling.
515
00:36:54,333 --> 00:36:58,733
- Debbie, can you defend this sewage
as literature? - Of course not.
516
00:36:58,733 --> 00:37:00,475
But I could not put it down.
517
00:37:00,499 --> 00:37:04,213
The woman who wrote this knows
what she's talking about.
518
00:37:04,214 --> 00:37:09,655
It was like... overhearing
a conversation in the ladies' room.
519
00:37:09,655 --> 00:37:16,336
It's like gossip. Chocolate-covered
cherries. It's... it's sexy.
520
00:37:16,336 --> 00:37:18,797
You know it's bad for you
but you can't stop.
521
00:37:18,821 --> 00:37:21,856
- It's chocolate covered crap!
- I can come back.
522
00:37:21,857 --> 00:37:26,456
Oh, wait! Mrs. Ramirez. Darling.
523
00:37:26,456 --> 00:37:31,697
Would you read a book about
the disgusting, desperate lives
524
00:37:31,697 --> 00:37:35,618
of drug-addicted
sex-crazed movie stars?
525
00:37:35,618 --> 00:37:38,618
- Henry, she's the cleaning lady.
- She knows trash.
526
00:37:38,618 --> 00:37:42,939
You mean, that thing on your desk,
the Valley of the Pigs?
527
00:37:42,939 --> 00:37:45,219
- Dolls.
- I read it last night...
528
00:37:45,219 --> 00:37:49,500
...while I was vacuuming. Those women,
in that book, they are animals!
529
00:37:49,500 --> 00:37:52,180
All they do is jump after men...
530
00:37:52,180 --> 00:37:55,781
...and take those drugs
and go straight to hell!
531
00:37:55,781 --> 00:38:00,581
If they were my daughters, I would
kill them myself, with my bare hands.
532
00:38:00,581 --> 00:38:03,621
Thank you. So, you hated it.
533
00:38:03,621 --> 00:38:09,462
It is the finest book
I have ever read.
534
00:38:10,462 --> 00:38:12,782
I'm buying it.
535
00:38:13,742 --> 00:38:17,743
Jackie, wait. I've got big news!
536
00:38:17,743 --> 00:38:21,344
- For Christ's sake.
- She's going to surgery.
- Just a minute.
537
00:38:21,344 --> 00:38:25,344
- I got something important to say.
- Save it, till I'm out of here.
538
00:38:25,344 --> 00:38:29,745
Till I'm wearing something decent.
I'll get one of those bathing suits.
539
00:38:29,745 --> 00:38:34,105
They have a bikini. You should see
me in a bikini. You'd lose control.
540
00:38:34,105 --> 00:38:38,225
- Honey, you've gotta listen to me.
We're in. They bit. - Who bit what?
541
00:38:38,225 --> 00:38:42,226
- Henry Marcus. The book.
- Oh, God, Irving, stop joking.
542
00:38:42,226 --> 00:38:45,666
They've got an editor.
They want you to meet with him.
543
00:38:45,666 --> 00:38:50,667
- Hold it. An editor?
- As soon as you're feeling better.
544
00:38:50,667 --> 00:38:52,627
Did you tell them?
545
00:38:52,627 --> 00:38:56,468
I told them we'd be out of
the country for awhile. I told them...
546
00:38:56,468 --> 00:38:59,468
...you look great in a bikini.
547
00:38:59,468 --> 00:39:01,469
You did?
548
00:39:01,469 --> 00:39:05,109
Jackie, they said yes.
Someone said yes.
549
00:39:18,150 --> 00:39:20,150
- Susann?
- 9A.
550
00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:22,271
Thank you.
551
00:39:31,152 --> 00:39:34,192
Who the hell's that?
Irving, get the door.
552
00:39:35,153 --> 00:39:37,153
Coming!
553
00:39:38,153 --> 00:39:43,954
- Yes? - I'm Michael Hastings,
the editor from Henry Marcus.
554
00:39:43,954 --> 00:39:46,643
- I've an appointment with Miss Susann.
- Mike!
555
00:39:46,667 --> 00:39:49,953
Jackie, it's Mike! Come on in.
Take a load off.
556
00:39:49,954 --> 00:39:52,754
Well, welcome to the family!
557
00:39:52,754 --> 00:39:57,355
- I was ordering breakfast. What can
I get you? - Breakfast? It's 11 A.M.
558
00:39:57,355 --> 00:40:00,955
- Early riser? - I'm supposed to
get editing this manuscript.
559
00:40:00,955 --> 00:40:05,956
Oh, like a rooster. Nature boy.
I'm back. Yeah.
560
00:40:05,956 --> 00:40:09,957
We'll need another breakfast
platter, celery tonic, some lox.
561
00:40:09,957 --> 00:40:13,557
- Oh, you need lox. Protein.
- Lox?!
562
00:40:13,557 --> 00:40:18,558
That's Josie. Josie, be nice. She'll help
us with the editing. She's a smart dog.
563
00:40:18,558 --> 00:40:23,718
- What the hell's wrong with you? It's dawn,
for crying out loud. - Miss Susann.
564
00:40:23,718 --> 00:40:27,424
I'm Michael Hastings, your editor.
We have a lot of work to do.
565
00:40:27,448 --> 00:40:29,798
I have a great many
comprehensive notes.
566
00:40:29,799 --> 00:40:35,159
- "Notes"? What do you mean, "notes"?
- For changes. For your book.
567
00:40:35,159 --> 00:40:37,680
Changes? Like spelling?
568
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:43,561
Your manuscript at present
is nigh onto incoherent.
569
00:40:43,561 --> 00:40:47,281
- And that's bad?
- Yes.
570
00:40:47,281 --> 00:40:50,402
Well, Mr. Picky.
Buster, you just hold on.
571
00:40:50,402 --> 00:40:55,601
- Where's she going?
- Isn't she great? She's so excited.
572
00:40:55,601 --> 00:40:58,602
She's never been edited before.
573
00:40:58,602 --> 00:41:01,602
- Flo, you're back.
- They fired me.
574
00:41:01,602 --> 00:41:05,603
- They fired you?
- From goddamn Ozzie and Harriet.
575
00:41:05,603 --> 00:41:08,163
Who are you? FBI?
576
00:41:09,564 --> 00:41:12,044
- Flo, Michael. Michael, Flo.
- Flo?!
577
00:41:12,044 --> 00:41:15,524
- Jackie!
- So, you wanted changes?
578
00:41:15,524 --> 00:41:18,165
How's this for editing?
579
00:41:18,165 --> 00:41:21,045
- They fired me.
- They fired ya?
580
00:41:21,045 --> 00:41:24,886
From Ozzie and Harriet. America's
favourite wholesome TV family.
581
00:41:24,886 --> 00:41:26,366
- They're cocksuckers.
- All of 'em.
582
00:41:26,366 --> 00:41:28,366
Ozzie?
583
00:41:28,366 --> 00:41:33,686
- This outfit's wrong. Too subtle.
- Hi.
584
00:41:34,766 --> 00:41:38,767
I was playing Harriet's
beloved Aunt Hilda.
585
00:41:38,767 --> 00:41:44,128
- A sweet simple midwestern farm
woman come to visit. - Mr. Mansfield?
586
00:41:44,128 --> 00:41:47,208
Can you break a twenty?
587
00:41:47,208 --> 00:41:49,208
God, I would have been marvellous.
588
00:41:49,208 --> 00:41:54,569
I entered and said, "Harriet, darling,
I'm here. I have brought farm fresh eggs."
589
00:41:54,569 --> 00:41:57,050
I'll get it.
590
00:41:57,050 --> 00:41:59,050
- Hey, Irv.
- Sheila!
591
00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:04,051
- What did you want today? French manicure?
What about the toes? - What about the toes?
592
00:42:04,051 --> 00:42:07,730
- Tell her to start with Josie.
- Josie, come on, manicure!
593
00:42:07,730 --> 00:42:11,251
They want it a different way.
I have no ego, you know.
594
00:42:11,251 --> 00:42:13,611
Let's take a look at you.
595
00:42:13,611 --> 00:42:17,132
- We have to begin.
- She's very highstrung.
596
00:42:17,132 --> 00:42:20,132
- We have to begin.
- Ozzie, he's staring at me.
597
00:42:20,132 --> 00:42:23,292
He said, "Could you be
a little more wholesome?"
598
00:42:23,292 --> 00:42:26,333
"You're a simple farm woman,
bringing fresh eggs."
599
00:42:26,333 --> 00:42:29,013
I said, "What do you want me to do?
Lay them?!"
600
00:42:30,013 --> 00:42:33,014
So, do I look like an author?
601
00:42:33,014 --> 00:42:36,374
Miss Susann, it really doesn't
matter what you wear.
602
00:42:36,374 --> 00:42:38,495
See, he's editing me.
603
00:42:40,974 --> 00:42:46,215
- This is unacceptable. - I know.
Hang in there. Lox is on the way.
604
00:42:46,215 --> 00:42:49,375
And then, these two adorable
teenagers come in.
605
00:42:49,375 --> 00:42:52,336
David and Ricky.
606
00:42:52,336 --> 00:42:55,336
Their little crew cuts
and their dungarees.
607
00:42:55,336 --> 00:42:57,657
David wanted me.
608
00:42:57,657 --> 00:43:00,017
I could tell.
609
00:43:00,017 --> 00:43:02,497
- He was huge!
- What?!
610
00:43:02,497 --> 00:43:06,178
- Match me?
- Coming. Oh, boy.
611
00:43:06,178 --> 00:43:09,178
- Irv, breakfast time!
- Claude, how are ya?
612
00:43:09,178 --> 00:43:13,979
You got cold cuts, bagels, coffee,
lox, celery tonic and bran muffins.
613
00:43:13,979 --> 00:43:19,819
- You gotta have bran. Cleans you out.
- And then Ozzie, he comes back in...
614
00:43:19,819 --> 00:43:25,820
...and suddenly they're all lined up, all
staring at me, the entire Nelson family...
615
00:43:25,820 --> 00:43:30,300
...in their cardigans, and their rosy
cheeks and gleaming white teeth.
616
00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:33,301
And I just gazed at them.
And I said,
617
00:43:33,301 --> 00:43:37,502
"I am your wholesome Aunt Hilda and
I have brought farm fresh eggs."
618
00:43:37,502 --> 00:43:39,782
"Heil Hitler!"
619
00:43:39,782 --> 00:43:41,862
- They fired you?
- Well?
620
00:43:41,862 --> 00:43:44,583
- Better?
- Wow.
621
00:43:44,583 --> 00:43:48,423
- Bestselling?
- That's the one. That's the one.
622
00:43:48,423 --> 00:43:50,604
Mr. Mansfield?
We have a deadline.
623
00:43:50,629 --> 00:43:53,943
We need to work in an
atmosphere of absolute quiet.
624
00:43:53,943 --> 00:43:57,503
I couldn't agree more.
And I know just the spot.
625
00:43:57,503 --> 00:44:02,104
- If I could walk that way, I wouldn't
need the talcum powder. - Herbie!
626
00:44:02,104 --> 00:44:05,105
You got hungry? Yeah.
Lover boy! Sweetheart.
627
00:44:05,105 --> 00:44:08,105
- Who's this?
- My editor. I take him everywhere.
628
00:44:08,105 --> 00:44:11,105
Two adults. And one gentile.
629
00:44:11,105 --> 00:44:14,146
- Jackie!
- Irving, you son of a gun!
630
00:44:17,106 --> 00:44:21,107
- Jackie! You look gorgeous!
- Sylvia! You look different!
631
00:44:21,107 --> 00:44:24,107
- Hey, vice squad!
- Great sports jacket.
632
00:44:24,107 --> 00:44:27,952
It's a Fabiani, hand stitched,
hand rolled, virgin alpaca.
633
00:44:27,977 --> 00:44:29,906
And it's gonna stay that way.
634
00:44:29,907 --> 00:44:32,908
- I'm starving! I could eat a horse.
- You probably will.
635
00:44:32,908 --> 00:44:36,508
- So, what specials?
- It's all special, sweetheart.
636
00:44:36,508 --> 00:44:38,509
Thank you.
637
00:44:38,509 --> 00:44:42,309
- Miss Susann, Mr. Mansfield.
- Jackie. And Irving.
638
00:44:42,309 --> 00:44:46,790
This is not exactly the kind of
working atmosphere I had in mind.
639
00:44:46,790 --> 00:44:49,470
Look at him. Look at you.
640
00:44:49,470 --> 00:44:54,111
- What? - Just tell me. What do you
call that thing you're wearing?
641
00:44:54,111 --> 00:44:57,951
It's a navy blue suit.
It's from Brooks Brothers.
642
00:44:57,951 --> 00:45:01,591
- Brooks Brothers?
- It's an American classic.
643
00:45:01,591 --> 00:45:03,343
It's a shroud. I can't look.
644
00:45:03,368 --> 00:45:06,912
It's hurting my creative juices.
I'm having a blockage.
645
00:45:06,912 --> 00:45:09,872
- Irving, quick. Give him your jacket.
- What?
646
00:45:09,872 --> 00:45:11,251
- What?!
- People are staring.
647
00:45:11,276 --> 00:45:14,913
They're saying, "What are Irving
and Jackie doing with this stiff?"
648
00:45:14,913 --> 00:45:18,473
They think it's a tax audit.
Give him your jacket.
649
00:45:18,473 --> 00:45:20,634
- Jackie.
- Please!
650
00:45:20,634 --> 00:45:23,434
I am absolutely not going to wear
Irving's jacket.
651
00:45:29,715 --> 00:45:32,196
Thank God!
652
00:45:32,196 --> 00:45:34,676
Now I can breathe again. I'm open.
653
00:45:34,676 --> 00:45:37,675
Darling, if you're happy, I'm happy.
654
00:45:37,675 --> 00:45:40,156
Brisket for the beautiful lady.
655
00:45:40,156 --> 00:45:42,676
Veal for the gent.
Thanks, Max.
656
00:45:43,636 --> 00:45:46,117
And one American cheese sandwich.
657
00:45:46,117 --> 00:45:50,477
- Thank you. Do you have
any mayonnaise? - Mayonnaise?
658
00:45:50,477 --> 00:45:52,598
Hellman's.
659
00:45:54,238 --> 00:45:56,318
Don't get anything on it.
660
00:45:56,318 --> 00:45:58,838
No gestures.
661
00:46:01,919 --> 00:46:07,040
Cheese sandwich. Where were
you raised? In a fucking igloo?
662
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:09,480
Miss Susann? Mr. Mansfield?
663
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,719
- It's Jackie.
- And Irving.
664
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:16,840
Your manuscript requires
an overwhelming amount of work.
665
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:21,361
- I agree. Like worldwide advertising.
- We've got lots of ideas, a campaign.
666
00:46:21,361 --> 00:46:23,720
The dust jacket's
gonna be my picture.
667
00:46:23,745 --> 00:46:26,441
I can do this look. Or this.
How about this?
668
00:46:26,442 --> 00:46:28,331
Do the other one.
That's my girl.
669
00:46:28,356 --> 00:46:31,441
What about the first printing?
I say one million, easy.
670
00:46:31,442 --> 00:46:34,523
I love radio. But TV,
that's where they'll eat me up.
671
00:46:34,523 --> 00:46:39,203
We want all the morning shows
and Carson. How about a limo?
672
00:46:39,203 --> 00:46:44,204
We could use our own car.
Do you pay for gas, tolls?
673
00:46:44,204 --> 00:46:47,884
Excuse me! Pardon me!
You are a first-time novelist!
674
00:46:47,884 --> 00:46:51,284
With a book which remains
virtually unreadable!
675
00:46:51,284 --> 00:46:54,965
I have been assigned to edit
this miasma!
676
00:46:54,965 --> 00:46:58,925
When I arrive I'm treated to a
variety night circus with a dog act,
677
00:46:58,925 --> 00:47:02,726
and then this
delicatessen smooze fest!
678
00:47:04,686 --> 00:47:08,727
If this book is to be published
at all, we need a place to work.
679
00:47:08,727 --> 00:47:11,247
Am I understood?
680
00:47:14,208 --> 00:47:17,448
- "Miasma"?
- Florida?
681
00:47:30,809 --> 00:47:33,289
This is some schlep.
682
00:47:33,289 --> 00:47:36,290
Where are you taking us, Iowa?
683
00:47:36,290 --> 00:47:39,290
- It's Connecticut.
- Connecticut?
684
00:47:39,290 --> 00:47:42,811
- This is Connecticut?
- Nice, if you're a cow.
685
00:47:48,772 --> 00:47:51,772
So, who lives here?
Thomas Jefferson?
686
00:47:51,772 --> 00:47:54,893
- My family.
- They got slaves?
687
00:47:56,692 --> 00:48:00,813
- Who's that?
- That is my mother.
688
00:48:02,733 --> 00:48:05,253
She gave birth?
689
00:48:06,893 --> 00:48:09,374
- Mother.
- Hello, dear.
690
00:48:09,374 --> 00:48:12,055
Thank you so much for
letting us use the house.
691
00:48:12,079 --> 00:48:15,294
- I promise you, you won't even
know we're here. - Of course.
692
00:48:15,295 --> 00:48:19,295
- Mother, this is Irving Mansfield.
- Some spread. You did good.
693
00:48:19,295 --> 00:48:22,896
- Do you rent?
- And this is Jacqueline Susann.
694
00:48:22,896 --> 00:48:26,336
- Pleased to meet you.
- Hello. What's your name, darling?
695
00:48:26,336 --> 00:48:31,256
My given name is Alicia Carlisle
Pewter but everyone calls me Lissy.
696
00:48:31,256 --> 00:48:33,616
No. Come on.
697
00:48:33,616 --> 00:48:36,337
- Come on, really.
- Really.
698
00:48:39,217 --> 00:48:42,218
And this is our guest room.
699
00:48:42,218 --> 00:48:45,218
I do hope you'll be comfortable.
700
00:48:45,218 --> 00:48:47,739
Oh, it's... it's nice.
701
00:48:47,739 --> 00:48:50,259
It's very... clean.
702
00:48:50,259 --> 00:48:55,820
I love the proportions. The light.
You could do a lot with this room.
703
00:48:55,820 --> 00:48:58,660
- We have.
- Josie.
704
00:49:07,220 --> 00:49:09,701
Good luck. Keep it dirty.
705
00:49:09,701 --> 00:49:12,701
Bye, sweetheart. Pee for mommy.
706
00:49:12,701 --> 00:49:15,702
- Jackie!
- I was talking to Irving.
707
00:49:15,702 --> 00:49:18,182
It's a joke.
708
00:49:18,182 --> 00:49:21,182
Of course. Well. All right.
709
00:49:21,182 --> 00:49:24,903
Finally, we can begin our task.
Let's get going.
710
00:49:24,903 --> 00:49:27,903
Let's start
with the first paragraph.
711
00:49:27,903 --> 00:49:30,544
- First paragraph?
- Second sentence.
712
00:49:30,544 --> 00:49:35,065
This phrase, "New York was steaming.
An angry, concrete animal."
713
00:49:35,065 --> 00:49:38,665
- Don't you love that?
- No, it doesn't make any sense.
714
00:49:38,665 --> 00:49:41,304
- What is an angry concrete animal?
- New York.
715
00:49:41,304 --> 00:49:44,105
- New York's a city.
- Not in the summer.
716
00:49:44,105 --> 00:49:48,105
I remember when I first came to town,
I was just a kid but oh, my God,
717
00:49:48,105 --> 00:49:52,706
it hit me: the noise, buildings, the
crowds. I'll set the scene for ya.
718
00:49:52,706 --> 00:49:58,387
There's a garbage strike. So,
it stinks. There's a subway strike.
719
00:49:58,387 --> 00:50:02,868
You can't get to work. Construction
everywhere. Jackhammers...
720
00:50:02,868 --> 00:50:06,148
- It's chippendale!
- ...are driving people to the brink of madness.
721
00:50:06,148 --> 00:50:10,549
It's so hot, the sidewalks are
buckling, rising up like Godzilla.
722
00:50:10,549 --> 00:50:12,493
So the town is sweaty
and ferocious.
723
00:50:12,518 --> 00:50:15,949
It's like, "Watch out! Let me through!
Out of my way, you moron!
724
00:50:15,949 --> 00:50:20,629
"Move it! Out of my way, I'm an
angry, concrete animal!" Get it?
725
00:50:20,629 --> 00:50:22,830
But it's an absurd phrase.
726
00:50:22,830 --> 00:50:25,590
- It's poetry.
- It's terrible writing.
727
00:50:25,590 --> 00:50:28,991
- That's what poetry is.
- Jackie.
- Next.
728
00:50:32,031 --> 00:50:36,512
All right, this section,
where Neely O'Hara's a big star.
729
00:50:36,512 --> 00:50:40,832
- She comes home to find her husband...
- Ted Casablanca.
- Yeah.
730
00:50:40,832 --> 00:50:45,833
And he's in her Beverly Hills pool
with another younger starlet.
731
00:50:45,833 --> 00:50:48,833
- In her pool that she paid for.
- Yeah.
732
00:50:48,833 --> 00:50:53,833
Ted says he had to look elsewhere
for sex 'cause Neely's always so tired.
733
00:50:53,833 --> 00:50:57,834
Because she's working on a picture!
So she's always doped up.
734
00:50:57,834 --> 00:51:00,394
- That's real life.
- Here's my problem.
735
00:51:00,394 --> 00:51:03,122
She says, "You're nuts.
I catch you red-handed
736
00:51:03,147 --> 00:51:06,475
and you stand there with your
dingle blowing in the breeze
737
00:51:06,475 --> 00:51:09,516
with a naked broad
and you sermonise with me."
738
00:51:09,516 --> 00:51:12,676
- Isn't that great? Can you picture it?
- It's so coarse!
739
00:51:12,676 --> 00:51:14,789
"Dingle blowing in the breeze"?
740
00:51:14,814 --> 00:51:18,196
Neely's an ex-chorus girl.
That's how she talks.
741
00:51:18,197 --> 00:51:20,957
- But... dingle?
- Yeah.
742
00:51:20,957 --> 00:51:23,958
- Dingle, dingle, dingle.
- Stop that.
743
00:51:23,958 --> 00:51:26,757
- Haven't you got one?
- No, I do not have a dingle.
744
00:51:26,757 --> 00:51:30,518
What do they call it around here,
a butter churn?
745
00:51:32,478 --> 00:51:34,558
Next.
746
00:51:34,558 --> 00:51:39,079
Let's discuss Jennifer.
She's 17. She's blonde.
747
00:51:39,079 --> 00:51:43,080
- She's stunning.
- You love her? It's all about the tits.
- Yes.
748
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:46,870
After boarding school she runs off
with Maria, the Spanish heiress.
749
00:51:46,895 --> 00:51:48,679
Right, the dyke. Ooh, radishes?
750
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:52,281
- And they do nothing but have
wild lesbian sex. - They're young.
751
00:51:52,281 --> 00:51:56,642
- You can't say that.
- Why not?
- Mimsy.
752
00:51:56,642 --> 00:52:00,642
Mimsy?
Is that a code?
753
00:52:00,642 --> 00:52:05,642
Jackie, this is my grandmother,
Mimsy. And my Great Aunt Abigail.
754
00:52:05,642 --> 00:52:07,802
- Are you the author?
- Yes, hello.
755
00:52:07,802 --> 00:52:11,963
- We're in the middle of editing.
- One sec. Let me ask you something.
756
00:52:11,963 --> 00:52:17,004
When you were in high school, did some of
the girls get crushes on the other girls?
757
00:52:17,004 --> 00:52:20,004
Let me see. At Miss Porter's?
758
00:52:20,004 --> 00:52:22,804
Of course they didn't!
You can't put that in a book.
759
00:52:23,805 --> 00:52:26,085
I remember Emily Winthrop.
760
00:52:26,085 --> 00:52:28,565
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, Emily Winthrop.
761
00:52:28,565 --> 00:52:32,966
She was a year behind me.
She was lovely.
762
00:52:32,966 --> 00:52:37,566
Tall, high breasted.
What a collar bone.
763
00:52:37,566 --> 00:52:40,566
- And you liked her.
- Very much.
764
00:52:40,566 --> 00:52:44,967
You can tell me everything.
765
00:52:47,047 --> 00:52:49,527
Oh, no! We're gonna be late!
766
00:52:49,527 --> 00:52:54,528
Bye, kids. And what do we tell
Mom and Dad we want for Christmas?
767
00:52:54,528 --> 00:52:57,009
Valley of the Dolls.
768
00:52:57,009 --> 00:53:00,489
It's better than milk.
769
00:53:00,489 --> 00:53:03,489
I don't understand. Yes.
770
00:53:03,489 --> 00:53:06,490
Tony Polar. Tony Po...
771
00:53:06,490 --> 00:53:08,490
Ton... Adele!
772
00:53:08,490 --> 00:53:10,491
Adele!
773
00:53:10,491 --> 00:53:12,530
Thank you.
774
00:53:14,490 --> 00:53:17,491
So, Tony Polar is
a rich successful singer.
775
00:53:17,491 --> 00:53:21,091
- But you say he has a dark secret.
- The darkest.
776
00:53:21,091 --> 00:53:23,869
He had scarlet fever as a
baby and ever since then
777
00:53:23,895 --> 00:53:26,812
he's had the mental abilities
of a 7 year old.
778
00:53:26,812 --> 00:53:29,252
And no one notices?
779
00:53:29,252 --> 00:53:31,693
That's right.
780
00:53:31,693 --> 00:53:35,222
Are you saying that if a man
is sexy and good in bed,
781
00:53:35,247 --> 00:53:38,198
no woman is going to
care that he's an idiot?
782
00:53:40,134 --> 00:53:42,614
I certainly wouldn't.
783
00:53:42,614 --> 00:53:45,295
Absolutely not.
784
00:53:45,295 --> 00:53:47,854
Grow up.
785
00:53:47,854 --> 00:53:50,574
Michael?
786
00:53:50,574 --> 00:53:53,055
Father?
787
00:53:53,055 --> 00:53:56,055
I've just finished this manuscript.
788
00:53:56,055 --> 00:54:02,736
This immoral, brazen journey into the
unspeakable hell of modern show business.
789
00:54:02,736 --> 00:54:04,977
And?
790
00:54:04,977 --> 00:54:08,697
I am Lyon Burke.
791
00:54:08,697 --> 00:54:11,378
Baby!
792
00:54:23,178 --> 00:54:26,699
Jackie? Irving has the car...
793
00:54:31,259 --> 00:54:33,780
Oh!
794
00:54:45,102 --> 00:54:47,663
- What are you doing?
- Getting the luggage.
795
00:54:47,688 --> 00:54:49,662
Irving's got the car out front.
796
00:54:49,662 --> 00:54:52,183
Irving can get the luggage.
797
00:54:53,143 --> 00:54:56,143
All those pills, Jackie.
I mean, they...
798
00:54:56,143 --> 00:55:00,423
They're for Irving. He has a vitamin
deficiency. He needs niacin and B12.
799
00:55:00,423 --> 00:55:03,703
- They weren't vitamins.
- Oh, for Christ's sake!
800
00:55:03,703 --> 00:55:07,526
Do I go through your room and ask
you a lot of stupid questions?
801
00:55:07,551 --> 00:55:09,584
Who the hell do you
think you are?
802
00:55:09,584 --> 00:55:13,145
- Jackie, I didn't know you were sick.
- I'm not sick.
803
00:55:13,145 --> 00:55:15,665
I'm not sick!
804
00:55:16,625 --> 00:55:20,626
Sick people are losers.
Sick people get nothing!
805
00:55:20,626 --> 00:55:26,307
Do you think that anybody's gonna buy a
sexy book written by someone with cancer?
806
00:55:26,307 --> 00:55:31,267
That's not the point. That's
the only point. Are you my friend?
807
00:55:31,267 --> 00:55:33,667
Your friend?
808
00:55:33,667 --> 00:55:37,867
You're a tight ass and you're a
smart cookie, but are you my friend?
809
00:55:37,867 --> 00:55:40,788
I've never met anyone like you.
810
00:55:40,788 --> 00:55:43,508
That's not an answer!
811
00:55:43,508 --> 00:55:46,109
Let me explain to you.
812
00:55:46,109 --> 00:55:48,709
Friends help each other.
813
00:55:48,709 --> 00:55:53,710
And friends... don't tell.
Get it?
814
00:55:55,670 --> 00:55:57,710
OK.
815
00:56:01,671 --> 00:56:04,151
Is there a secret handshake?
816
00:56:04,151 --> 00:56:07,231
Mikey, you made a joke.
817
00:56:07,231 --> 00:56:10,151
- I did?
- Yeah.
818
00:56:10,151 --> 00:56:13,926
Well, it wasn't a great joke,
but it's a start.
819
00:56:13,951 --> 00:56:16,632
You are my friend.
You are my friend.
820
00:56:19,112 --> 00:56:22,873
- We're coming! We're having sex!
- Good. Take your time.
821
00:56:22,873 --> 00:56:25,393
Jackie...
822
00:56:26,354 --> 00:56:28,834
I'm trusting you with my life here.
823
00:56:28,834 --> 00:56:31,354
I know.
824
00:56:32,314 --> 00:56:34,835
Thank you.
825
00:56:51,276 --> 00:56:55,277
You look great.
Doesn't he look great?
826
00:56:55,277 --> 00:57:00,278
Oh, he looks wonderful.
So handsome, like a Greek god.
827
00:57:00,278 --> 00:57:05,278
Guess what? Your mom's book,
it's gonna be a sensation.
828
00:57:05,278 --> 00:57:07,799
I'm gonna make you so proud.
829
00:57:28,281 --> 00:57:32,321
He seemed better.
Did he seem better to you?
830
00:57:32,321 --> 00:57:34,282
Yes. He looks good.
831
00:57:37,242 --> 00:57:40,243
They take good care of him.
832
00:57:40,243 --> 00:57:42,603
I should hope so.
833
00:57:42,603 --> 00:57:46,804
Irving, you can't put a price
on this. You're right.
834
00:57:46,804 --> 00:57:49,324
He deserves the best.
835
00:57:50,284 --> 00:57:53,323
That's why this book
has got to be gigantic.
836
00:58:06,805 --> 00:58:09,671
'Valley of the Dolls came
rolling off the presses...'
837
00:58:09,696 --> 00:58:11,806
'...and Jackie took the
country by storm.'
838
00:58:11,806 --> 00:58:16,407
- 'She invented a whole new way
of selling books.' - Hello, boys!
839
00:58:18,407 --> 00:58:22,208
- I'm Jackie Susann. I wrote a book.
- Valley of the Dolls.
840
00:58:22,208 --> 00:58:26,081
Right now, you guys are loading
that book onto those great big trucks.
841
00:58:26,106 --> 00:58:28,207
I just want you to
know, I'm grateful.
842
00:58:28,208 --> 00:58:31,208
- We've got hot coffee.
- And doughnuts.
- And tea.
843
00:58:31,208 --> 00:58:34,789
So if when you deliver these,
you say something to everybody
844
00:58:34,814 --> 00:58:37,328
about this lovely lady,
we'd appreciate it.
845
00:58:37,329 --> 00:58:41,930
Because my book is about the sexiest,
biggest hung guys in the universe.
846
00:58:41,930 --> 00:58:44,410
Who?
847
00:58:44,410 --> 00:58:47,130
- Teamsters.
- Yeah!
848
00:58:51,571 --> 00:58:54,572
No matter where she was,
she never stopped selling.
849
00:58:54,572 --> 00:58:57,052
Thar she blows.
850
00:58:57,052 --> 00:58:59,532
Yikes.
851
00:58:59,532 --> 00:59:03,532
- Are you ready?
- No, hold on a second. Read this.
852
00:59:03,532 --> 00:59:07,572
- Thank you.
- In the cafeteria.
853
00:59:23,295 --> 00:59:25,895
# I'm driving and I'm dreaming
854
00:59:25,895 --> 00:59:27,936
# And I'm on my way
855
00:59:28,896 --> 00:59:31,936
# As I go through life... #
856
00:59:32,896 --> 00:59:35,995
'We didn't know much about
books, but we knew show business.'
857
00:59:36,020 --> 00:59:38,816
'If you want a hit, hit the road.
And do your homework.'
858
00:59:38,816 --> 00:59:40,816
Stroudsburg. Go.
859
00:59:40,816 --> 00:59:43,297
Gladrey's Book Nook, Harry and Irma.
860
00:59:43,297 --> 00:59:46,817
- When's Irma's birthday?
- Today.
861
00:59:46,817 --> 00:59:49,898
- You're cooking, baby.
- What else?
862
00:59:51,898 --> 00:59:54,338
# My dream is out there
863
00:59:56,299 --> 01:00:01,299
# Never gonna stop
till that dream is mine... #
864
01:00:01,299 --> 01:00:04,300
- Mr. Gladrey? I'm Irv Mansfield.
- Yes? Who?
865
01:00:04,300 --> 01:00:07,896
And there's someone very new
and exciting I'd like you to meet.
866
01:00:07,921 --> 01:00:09,300
Get ready for lightning.
867
01:00:09,301 --> 01:00:14,300
Get ready for love.
Get ready for Miss Jacqueline Susann!
868
01:00:14,300 --> 01:00:18,661
- Harry! How are ya?
- Do I... do I know you?
869
01:00:18,661 --> 01:00:23,142
- You do now. I've written a book
you'll love. - Valley of the Dolls.
870
01:00:23,142 --> 01:00:27,742
- When I decided to publish, the first
thing I told my publisher... - Henry Marcus.
871
01:00:27,742 --> 01:00:30,823
...was Gladrey's Book Nook,
Stroudsburg, PA.
872
01:00:30,823 --> 01:00:33,623
Harry, who are these people?
873
01:00:33,623 --> 01:00:36,504
- Irma!
- Darling, you look great.
874
01:00:36,504 --> 01:00:40,504
- How do you know my name?
- Everybody knows Irma Gladrey.
875
01:00:40,504 --> 01:00:43,905
# Happy birthday to you #
876
01:00:43,905 --> 01:00:48,064
# Happy birthday to you... #
877
01:00:48,064 --> 01:00:51,465
Good morning.
Have you got Jackie Susann?
878
01:00:51,465 --> 01:00:53,865
- Who?
- Well, you do now.
879
01:00:53,865 --> 01:00:57,226
- Lester! Baby!
- That's Lester.
880
01:00:57,226 --> 01:00:59,226
Dick! Sweetheart!
881
01:00:59,226 --> 01:01:03,227
# Somewhere in the world
there's a place for me #
882
01:01:06,067 --> 01:01:10,068
# Somewhere I will find me
a new life... #
883
01:01:17,309 --> 01:01:19,629
Sisters!
884
01:01:19,629 --> 01:01:23,189
God love you.
885
01:01:23,189 --> 01:01:27,029
If you love the Old Testament,
you'll love Valley of the Dolls.
886
01:01:38,311 --> 01:01:42,351
# And I'm on my way... #
887
01:01:45,912 --> 01:01:47,912
Henry?
888
01:01:47,912 --> 01:01:53,113
- They're in Montana. - So?
- There are no book stores in Montana.
889
01:01:53,113 --> 01:01:55,953
It's not a book anymore.
It's a bestseller.
890
01:02:04,354 --> 01:02:08,354
Today was pure sunshine in Boise.
What will tomorrow bring?
891
01:02:08,354 --> 01:02:12,355
Let's ask our celebrity weathergirl,
novelist Jacqueline Susann.
892
01:02:12,355 --> 01:02:14,955
Well, Earl, bad news.
893
01:02:14,955 --> 01:02:19,436
It looks like rain, from the border
right on down to Sun Valley...
894
01:02:19,436 --> 01:02:21,716
of the Dolls.
895
01:02:21,716 --> 01:02:25,117
First,
we begin by whisking our eggs.
896
01:02:25,117 --> 01:02:26,940
Next, we grease our skillet.
897
01:02:26,965 --> 01:02:30,718
Jackie, which do you prefer,
margarine or vegetable oil?
898
01:02:30,718 --> 01:02:32,957
I don't know. I order out.
899
01:02:32,957 --> 01:02:35,517
- You order out breakfast?
- You bet.
900
01:02:35,517 --> 01:02:37,598
Any woman who cooks is a fool.
901
01:02:37,598 --> 01:02:39,118
Don't cook.
902
01:02:39,118 --> 01:02:41,558
Read.
903
01:02:41,558 --> 01:02:46,919
'She was on her way, to the biggest
of the big. To Johnny.'
904
01:02:46,919 --> 01:02:48,959
Jacqueline Susann.
905
01:02:57,281 --> 01:02:59,761
Doesn't she look great?
906
01:02:59,761 --> 01:03:02,761
What's your name again, Ken?
907
01:03:02,761 --> 01:03:05,762
Jim. Jim Morrison.
908
01:03:05,762 --> 01:03:08,321
Oh, a pleasure. Irving Mansfield.
909
01:03:08,321 --> 01:03:10,922
Everyone's saying my book's dirty.
910
01:03:10,922 --> 01:03:15,522
But I wonder,
have they ever watched soap operas?
911
01:03:15,522 --> 01:03:19,083
Have they ever seen
what housewives watch all day long?
912
01:03:21,843 --> 01:03:24,056
When you're washing
floors everyday,
913
01:03:24,081 --> 01:03:27,404
you need a little something
in your life to keep going.
914
01:03:27,404 --> 01:03:30,965
- Isn't she great?
- Yeah, she's happening.
915
01:03:30,965 --> 01:03:35,725
'Jackie was getting big, really big.
You could tell by her enemies.'
916
01:03:35,725 --> 01:03:40,326
My guest is the flamboyant and often
controversial author, Truman Capote,
917
01:03:40,326 --> 01:03:44,826
whose latest book, In Cold Blood,
has created an international sensation.
918
01:03:44,851 --> 01:03:46,326
Good to see you again.
919
01:03:46,326 --> 01:03:49,286
Thank you.
It's always a pleasure to be here.
920
01:03:49,286 --> 01:03:51,887
Honey! Hurry up!
You're gonna miss it.
921
01:03:51,887 --> 01:03:54,440
'How do you feel about
the competition?'
922
01:03:54,465 --> 01:03:57,888
'What about bestseller lists?
How about Jackie Susann?'
923
01:03:57,888 --> 01:04:03,248
'Jackie Susann, please.
That's not writing, that's typing.'
924
01:04:03,248 --> 01:04:08,129
- How can he say that?
- She's a virtual illiterate.
- Nasty.
925
01:04:08,129 --> 01:04:13,650
Have you ever seen her in those
sleazy gowns with all that hair?
926
01:04:13,650 --> 01:04:17,609
She looks like a truck driver
in drag.
927
01:04:17,609 --> 01:04:21,690
'But no-one could stop her.
We were number one.'
928
01:04:27,211 --> 01:04:31,212
'I really wanna surprise her
at the party. Something big time.'
929
01:04:31,212 --> 01:04:34,212
Don't worry. We'll find something.
It's here.
930
01:04:34,212 --> 01:04:36,692
What do you think she'd like?
931
01:04:36,692 --> 01:04:40,053
- Flo? What is it, a valve?
- Oh, my God. Pearls.
932
01:04:40,053 --> 01:04:44,814
- Black and white pearls.
- Pearls for Jackie?
933
01:04:44,814 --> 01:04:47,714
Irving, if a man bought
me those pearls,
934
01:04:47,739 --> 01:04:51,535
not only would I have sex
with him, I would enjoy it.
935
01:04:51,535 --> 01:04:54,214
The pearls, aren't they superb?
936
01:04:55,174 --> 01:04:57,134
A bit expensive.
937
01:04:57,134 --> 01:05:02,135
Come on. Buy them. It's her money.
938
01:05:02,135 --> 01:05:05,296
I don't know. Maybe a brooch.
939
01:05:05,296 --> 01:05:07,536
My treat.
940
01:05:09,496 --> 01:05:11,576
Yeah.
941
01:05:41,900 --> 01:05:44,900
Hey, can we help you?
942
01:05:44,900 --> 01:05:47,381
I'm fine. I'll be right there.
943
01:05:47,381 --> 01:05:49,861
What an evening.
944
01:05:49,861 --> 01:05:54,342
The Waldorf Astoria,
the grand ballroom, for a book.
945
01:05:54,342 --> 01:05:58,062
The guest list is unbelievable.
Everyone said yes.
946
01:05:58,062 --> 01:06:01,383
Where is she? Everyone's waiting.
947
01:06:01,383 --> 01:06:03,902
Jacqueline.
948
01:06:24,105 --> 01:06:28,466
Jackie! That dress,
949
01:06:28,466 --> 01:06:30,466
that outfit!
950
01:06:30,466 --> 01:06:34,947
- Is it too much? Is it over the top?
- Not one little bit.
951
01:06:34,947 --> 01:06:38,506
You don't think it's too vulgar,
too trashy?
952
01:06:38,506 --> 01:06:41,307
Too... Jackie Susann?
953
01:06:41,307 --> 01:06:43,427
It's absolutely perfect.
954
01:06:43,427 --> 01:06:46,068
Then maybe I should change.
955
01:06:46,068 --> 01:06:50,108
Everything's set.
Triple checked, all systems... go.
956
01:06:50,108 --> 01:06:55,069
Wow. You look so famous.
957
01:06:55,069 --> 01:06:59,189
- Come on. Jesus Christ, you have to
get dressed. - I am dressed!
958
01:06:59,189 --> 01:07:01,670
She looks fabulous.
959
01:07:01,670 --> 01:07:06,030
But that frock, it's so shy,
so reclusive. It needs something...
960
01:07:06,030 --> 01:07:08,511
Let me think.
961
01:07:08,511 --> 01:07:10,751
Jackie, something "Valley".
I don't know.
962
01:07:10,751 --> 01:07:14,511
Maybe... Oh, yes.
963
01:07:14,511 --> 01:07:19,311
- This.
- Oh, my God! Is it real?
964
01:07:19,311 --> 01:07:24,872
- I must be making you a fortune!
- For the woman, who as of Sunday,
965
01:07:24,872 --> 01:07:28,713
remains the number one
bestselling author in America.
966
01:07:30,713 --> 01:07:34,834
Thank you, Henry. Thank you. Irving,
look at this! Can you believe it?
967
01:07:34,834 --> 01:07:39,834
You deserve it. Every stone, every
carat. We'll have it appraised.
968
01:07:39,834 --> 01:07:44,235
So tell me, did Hemingway ever get
one of these? He'd be alive today.
969
01:07:44,235 --> 01:07:47,236
Come on, pussycats, we have to go.
970
01:07:47,236 --> 01:07:51,035
- What a night this is gonna be.
- It's gonna be a blast.
971
01:07:51,035 --> 01:07:53,796
Where is the elevator?
972
01:08:07,598 --> 01:08:11,918
Thank you, thank you.
I'm Henry Marcus. No, that's not it.
973
01:08:11,918 --> 01:08:15,919
I'm Jackie Susann's publisher.
974
01:08:15,919 --> 01:08:18,959
A few months ago, Jackie was
a young girl with a dream.
975
01:08:18,959 --> 01:08:23,959
Now from what I read, she's an even
younger girl with a bestseller. No!
976
01:08:23,959 --> 01:08:26,679
Make that the bestseller,
977
01:08:26,679 --> 01:08:30,480
because as of this week, Valley of
the Dolls has racked on the list
978
01:08:30,480 --> 01:08:34,281
for 28 weeks, making it,
that's right,
979
01:08:34,281 --> 01:08:37,801
the bestselling novel of all time.
980
01:08:48,403 --> 01:08:52,763
So, up yours, Tolstoy. Ha!
981
01:08:52,763 --> 01:08:56,244
I say that with all sincerity. But,
982
01:08:56,244 --> 01:09:01,524
hey, please help me welcome
a great writer, a record breaker,
983
01:09:01,524 --> 01:09:05,324
and one very happening chick.
Ladies and gentlemen,
984
01:09:05,324 --> 01:09:08,565
I give you the champ,
Miss Jacqueline Susann!
985
01:09:20,886 --> 01:09:23,327
Thank you. Thank you.
986
01:09:23,327 --> 01:09:25,807
Thank you. Thank you, all.
987
01:09:25,807 --> 01:09:30,528
This is the most exciting night of
my life. This room, all of you.
988
01:09:30,528 --> 01:09:33,927
This is what I have waited for
my whole life.
989
01:09:33,927 --> 01:09:39,528
And I just have to tell anybody out there
who feels like they're nobody, listen.
990
01:09:39,528 --> 01:09:44,129
If they tell you you have no talent,
that it's never gonna happen for you,
991
01:09:44,129 --> 01:09:47,489
that you're some loud,
crude, pushy little nothing
992
01:09:47,489 --> 01:09:50,084
in a tight dress and
too much make-up,
993
01:09:50,109 --> 01:09:53,410
tell them, "Hey! Just look
at Jacqueline Susann!"
994
01:09:58,400 --> 01:10:01,812
Number one!
995
01:10:07,811 --> 01:10:11,812
- Where's Irving?
- I don't know. I haven't seen him.
996
01:10:11,812 --> 01:10:15,413
We have a special surprise
for a real numero uno.
997
01:10:15,413 --> 01:10:18,813
We have a pair of numero unos
to serenade you.
998
01:10:18,813 --> 01:10:23,454
Jackie, may I present Steve Lawrence
and Eydie Gorme!
999
01:10:30,935 --> 01:10:33,855
- # You're walking along the street #
- Can you believe this?
1000
01:10:33,855 --> 01:10:36,416
- # You're at a party #
- Thank you.
1001
01:10:36,416 --> 01:10:40,216
# Or else you're alone and then
you suddenly dig #
1002
01:10:40,216 --> 01:10:42,816
# You're looking in someone's eyes #
1003
01:10:42,816 --> 01:10:44,816
# You suddenly realize #
1004
01:10:44,816 --> 01:10:48,416
# That this could be the start of
something big #
1005
01:10:48,416 --> 01:10:51,257
# You're lunching at 21 #
1006
01:10:51,257 --> 01:10:54,257
# And watching your diet, girl #
1007
01:10:54,257 --> 01:10:56,258
# Declining a Charlotte russe #
1008
01:10:56,258 --> 01:10:58,258
# Accepting a fig #
# Fig, fig #
1009
01:10:58,258 --> 01:11:00,858
# When out of a clear blue sky #
1010
01:11:00,858 --> 01:11:02,859
# It's suddenly gal and guy #
1011
01:11:02,859 --> 01:11:06,739
# And this could be the start of
something big #
1012
01:11:06,739 --> 01:11:08,739
# There's no controlling... #
1013
01:11:08,739 --> 01:11:11,907
Have you ever seen anything
like this in your life?
1014
01:11:11,932 --> 01:11:14,124
I'm the luckiest
girl in the world!
1015
01:11:15,420 --> 01:11:18,460
# But when a lover... #
1016
01:11:20,220 --> 01:11:25,021
# ..Without a second look #
1017
01:11:25,021 --> 01:11:29,822
# You're watching the sun come up,
counting your money, girl #
1018
01:11:29,822 --> 01:11:31,262
# Or else in a dim cafe #
1019
01:11:31,262 --> 01:11:34,222
# You're ordering wine, wine, wine #
1020
01:11:34,222 --> 01:11:36,023
# And suddenly there she is #
1021
01:11:36,023 --> 01:11:39,223
# You wanna be where she is #
1022
01:11:39,223 --> 01:11:40,743
# This must be
the start of something #
1023
01:11:40,743 --> 01:11:43,184
# This could be
the heart of something #
1024
01:11:43,184 --> 01:11:48,504
# This could be
the start of something big! #
1025
01:12:41,390 --> 01:12:44,991
I'm sorry, I just don't understand.
1026
01:12:44,991 --> 01:12:48,391
What's to understand?
I was busy, checking on things.
1027
01:12:48,391 --> 01:12:50,872
You abandoned me.
1028
01:12:50,872 --> 01:12:55,472
You were surrounded. There was
an army. Your army, with cameras.
1029
01:12:55,472 --> 01:12:57,913
But I needed you.
1030
01:12:57,913 --> 01:13:00,033
You did?
1031
01:13:00,033 --> 01:13:02,513
- Yeah.
- Why?
1032
01:13:02,513 --> 01:13:05,473
Why?! Why?! For a million reasons.
1033
01:13:05,473 --> 01:13:08,913
To keep me company. To hold my hand.
To love me.
1034
01:13:08,913 --> 01:13:11,914
- Just to be there.
- Stop.
1035
01:13:11,914 --> 01:13:16,674
- Just stop.
- Why? Stop what?
- Baby, it's done.
1036
01:13:16,674 --> 01:13:21,235
- What do you mean "done"?
- You're famous.
1037
01:13:21,235 --> 01:13:24,596
You're international,
like an airport.
1038
01:13:24,596 --> 01:13:28,925
But what does that have to do
with your just running off like that?
1039
01:13:28,950 --> 01:13:30,556
What's going on with you?
1040
01:13:30,557 --> 01:13:35,237
Nothing. I'm fine. I need a paper.
1041
01:13:35,237 --> 01:13:38,277
But it's 5 A.M.! Where are you going?
1042
01:13:38,277 --> 01:13:40,797
I'm not tired.
1043
01:13:43,998 --> 01:13:48,398
I don't know what's gotten into him.
Ever since the Waldorf a month ago.
1044
01:13:48,398 --> 01:13:53,399
He wants to be a producer again. He's got
all these projects, musicals, TV specials.
1045
01:13:53,399 --> 01:13:55,879
All of a sudden, he's never home.
1046
01:13:55,879 --> 01:13:59,760
I'm not implying anything
nor would I ever imply anything.
1047
01:13:59,760 --> 01:14:05,521
However, did it ever occur to you
that he just might be, you know?
1048
01:14:05,521 --> 01:14:10,882
- He is a man, after all.
- What? Say it.
1049
01:14:11,842 --> 01:14:15,721
You think...? You think
he's handling someone else?
1050
01:14:17,321 --> 01:14:20,082
I made him give up personal clients.
1051
01:14:22,042 --> 01:14:28,043
Yeah, I got a lot of things on the
boil. A game show, a variety hour.
1052
01:14:28,043 --> 01:14:31,524
I'm thinking of putting together
some kind of rock thing,
1053
01:14:31,524 --> 01:14:33,644
like a book that... whatshername?
1054
01:14:33,644 --> 01:14:37,644
Janis Joplin, Ken Morrison.
We really hit it off.
1055
01:14:37,644 --> 01:14:43,645
The Who, The What. Maybe some pretty
girls. Topo Gigio, mix it up.
1056
01:14:43,645 --> 01:14:46,686
Your old man's back on track.
1057
01:15:10,328 --> 01:15:12,849
Hi, sweetheart.
1058
01:15:21,810 --> 01:15:24,849
Come on, Mommy's gonna call Daddy.
1059
01:15:27,490 --> 01:15:32,131
Yeah, hello? Can I have
Mr. Irving Mansfield's room, please.
1060
01:15:34,091 --> 01:15:36,571
He checked out?
1061
01:15:36,571 --> 01:15:39,052
- When?
- Yesterday.
1062
01:15:39,052 --> 01:15:43,092
- 'May I help you with anything else?'
- No. No, thanks.
1063
01:15:49,533 --> 01:15:52,014
Josie, don't pull!
1064
01:15:52,014 --> 01:15:55,094
Hey, watch out, lady!
1065
01:15:56,534 --> 01:15:59,014
What the hell are you doing here?
1066
01:15:59,014 --> 01:16:01,494
It's a public park.
1067
01:16:01,494 --> 01:16:05,294
- Just a second, that's my tree.
- Please, leave me alone.
1068
01:16:05,294 --> 01:16:09,095
- I thought you were in LA?
- I came back on the redeye.
1069
01:16:09,095 --> 01:16:12,896
- I thought you were my husband.
- You don't need a husband.
1070
01:16:12,896 --> 01:16:16,096
- You're right.
- I know I am.
- I don't need a husband.
1071
01:16:16,096 --> 01:16:20,057
- Anybody can have a husband.
I'm Jackie Susann. - That's right.
1072
01:16:20,057 --> 01:16:22,852
And I'm Irving Mansfield.
I've got my own life.
1073
01:16:22,877 --> 01:16:25,296
I've got my own schedule.
And I'm booked.
1074
01:16:25,297 --> 01:16:29,258
- Well, good for you.
- Yeah! Good for me!
1075
01:16:29,258 --> 01:16:33,058
- So, you're quitting on me?
- That's right. I'm off the payroll.
1076
01:16:33,058 --> 01:16:35,538
Well, it's about time.
1077
01:16:35,538 --> 01:16:37,504
I don't need a
publicist any more.
1078
01:16:37,529 --> 01:16:40,539
I get all the press I want.
They're coming to me now.
1079
01:16:40,539 --> 01:16:46,420
- Well, I'm glad to hear it. - All I
need now is just someone who knows.
1080
01:16:47,380 --> 01:16:50,060
Knows what?
1081
01:16:52,060 --> 01:16:56,061
Someone who knows everything
I never ever wanna talk about.
1082
01:16:56,061 --> 01:17:00,022
Someone who knows what I look like
without this get-up.
1083
01:17:00,022 --> 01:17:04,062
Someone who knows that
Guy doesn't have asthma.
1084
01:17:12,422 --> 01:17:15,703
- I won't tell.
- Irving, don't make me beg.
1085
01:17:15,703 --> 01:17:18,703
I need you. You know why?
1086
01:17:18,703 --> 01:17:22,984
'Cause from the very beginning
you thought I WAS famous.
1087
01:17:22,984 --> 01:17:26,385
- Stop.
- Irving,
1088
01:17:26,385 --> 01:17:31,145
we're making a shit load of money.
There's new deals coming in everyday.
1089
01:17:31,145 --> 01:17:35,666
So, I'm asking you, Irving,
will you...?
1090
01:17:37,746 --> 01:17:40,587
Will you be my agent?
1091
01:17:40,587 --> 01:17:44,106
Don't. Don't tease me.
1092
01:17:44,106 --> 01:17:48,107
I'm not. I mean it, every word.
1093
01:17:48,107 --> 01:17:51,227
I want you to make my deals.
1094
01:17:53,187 --> 01:17:55,468
Even movies?
1095
01:17:55,468 --> 01:17:58,268
With my attorney?
1096
01:17:58,268 --> 01:18:02,269
I don't know. It's so sudden and...
1097
01:18:02,269 --> 01:18:06,269
- Make your deals? It's such
a commitment. - But you're ready.
1098
01:18:06,269 --> 01:18:10,190
I can feel it. Oh, Irving, come on.
We can be even bigger.
1099
01:18:12,150 --> 01:18:14,391
Yes.
1100
01:18:14,391 --> 01:18:17,391
- Yes?
- Yes.
1101
01:18:17,391 --> 01:18:21,071
- And I get 15%?
- 10. 12.
1102
01:18:21,071 --> 01:18:23,231
Point five.
1103
01:18:24,191 --> 01:18:26,311
I'm in.
1104
01:18:28,272 --> 01:18:29,312
Wait.
1105
01:18:34,193 --> 01:18:37,193
All right. We're almost even.
1106
01:18:37,193 --> 01:18:41,234
Just one more thing, one more item
and I'll tear up our bill.
1107
01:18:43,194 --> 01:18:46,194
Ten more years.
That's all I'm asking.
1108
01:18:46,194 --> 01:18:48,675
Just ten.
1109
01:18:48,675 --> 01:18:51,195
With an option.
1110
01:18:56,035 --> 01:19:01,036
'She got her ten years.
She had a great agent.'
1111
01:19:01,036 --> 01:19:05,076
'There were movies and premieres.'
1112
01:19:11,797 --> 01:19:14,838
'Jacqueline Susann
and Irving Mansfield!'
1113
01:19:18,878 --> 01:19:22,559
You should know, honey.
You just came out of the nut house.
1114
01:19:22,559 --> 01:19:24,959
It was not a nut house!
1115
01:19:24,959 --> 01:19:28,399
'Look, they drummed you
right out of Hollywood.'
1116
01:19:33,359 --> 01:19:36,840
I hate this movie.
They've ruined it!
1117
01:19:36,840 --> 01:19:39,360
It's gonna make a fortune.
1118
01:19:40,320 --> 01:19:43,521
- You think so?
- At least I never married one!
1119
01:19:43,521 --> 01:19:48,042
- You take that back, you old...
- Get your hands off me!
1120
01:19:55,523 --> 01:19:59,323
'We hit the road again,
but this time, we did it right.'
1121
01:19:59,323 --> 01:20:01,844
'No more road maps for us.'
1122
01:20:06,803 --> 01:20:10,804
'But Jackie never forgot who'd been
there for her at the beginning.'
1123
01:20:10,804 --> 01:20:15,525
'Though she definitely enjoyed
meeting interesting new playmates,'
1124
01:20:15,525 --> 01:20:18,005
'like Onassis and
that other Jackie.'
1125
01:20:18,005 --> 01:20:21,045
'Those were great days.
She'd never been happier.'
1126
01:20:26,606 --> 01:20:31,607
'No matter how celebrated she became,
she never got too ritzy for fans.'
1127
01:20:37,448 --> 01:20:41,047
You know, if I sign this,
you can't return it.
1128
01:20:48,448 --> 01:20:51,489
Irving, I'm glad you made me do this.
1129
01:20:52,449 --> 01:20:55,250
Well, it's another smash, baby.
1130
01:20:55,250 --> 01:20:58,050
You're packing 'em in,
and in this weather.
1131
01:20:58,050 --> 01:21:00,650
- Isn't it great?
- Yeah.
1132
01:21:00,650 --> 01:21:04,651
- You wanna drive over and say hello?
- Oh, no.
1133
01:21:04,651 --> 01:21:07,651
I don't look so hot.
1134
01:21:07,651 --> 01:21:10,172
This is enough.
1135
01:21:23,453 --> 01:21:27,453
You look swell in that T-shirt.
Doesn't he look swell?
1136
01:21:27,453 --> 01:21:33,454
Guy, I have to tell you, your father thinks
everybody looks swell in that T- shirt.
1137
01:21:33,454 --> 01:21:37,455
You must have grown five inches
in a week. You're like an oak tree.
1138
01:21:37,455 --> 01:21:40,455
- OK, let's show Mommy.
- Show Mommy what?
1139
01:21:40,455 --> 01:21:43,456
Jackie, watch this. Way to go.
1140
01:21:43,456 --> 01:21:46,456
Huh? Isn't that great?
1141
01:21:46,456 --> 01:21:50,496
I tried it a few weeks ago.
He didn't forget.
1142
01:21:51,456 --> 01:21:54,456
Honey, are you OK? Should we sit?
1143
01:21:54,456 --> 01:21:57,457
Oh, no, I just need a sec. I'm fine.
1144
01:21:57,457 --> 01:22:01,497
Look at him.
1145
01:22:02,457 --> 01:22:06,858
- Like a movie star.
- He's a heartbreaker.
1146
01:22:06,858 --> 01:22:09,378
Yeah.
1147
01:22:27,460 --> 01:22:31,461
- Please. Please, be careful.
She's a celebrity. - Mind the bumps.
1148
01:22:31,461 --> 01:22:33,280
They're waiting at the hospital.
1149
01:22:33,305 --> 01:22:36,861
We got the big suite, the one
where Liz Taylor had pneumonia.
1150
01:22:36,862 --> 01:22:38,862
- Irving?
- Lie back. Rest.
1151
01:22:38,862 --> 01:22:41,151
I can't believe this.
I'm astounded...
1152
01:22:41,176 --> 01:22:44,862
... that you of all people would
not tell me that she was here.
1153
01:22:44,863 --> 01:22:46,863
- I'm sorry.
- How could you?
1154
01:22:46,863 --> 01:22:51,464
You know how she is about the
cancer. She thinks it'd hurt sales.
1155
01:22:51,464 --> 01:22:56,144
- She doesn't want anyone to feel
sorry for her. - I never would!
1156
01:22:56,144 --> 01:23:00,144
She is so brave.
She's so utterly strong.
1157
01:23:00,144 --> 01:23:03,144
I know. She's the best.
1158
01:23:03,144 --> 01:23:06,065
I would play her.
1159
01:23:07,025 --> 01:23:10,826
Flo, don't go in there.
She's resting.
1160
01:23:10,826 --> 01:23:13,466
Jacqueline?
1161
01:23:20,987 --> 01:23:22,907
What are you doing here?
1162
01:23:24,868 --> 01:23:28,188
Well, now, this is a fine thing.
1163
01:23:28,188 --> 01:23:30,309
I mean, I wanna know what's wrong.
1164
01:23:30,309 --> 01:23:33,300
Now, what is it?
1165
01:23:33,469 --> 01:23:37,469
Here I am, probably your
best friend in the entire world...
1166
01:23:37,469 --> 01:23:40,469
...and nobody tells me what's going on.
1167
01:23:40,469 --> 01:23:43,830
So... what's going on?
1168
01:23:43,830 --> 01:23:47,110
Is it...
1169
01:23:47,110 --> 01:23:49,750
a face-lift?
1170
01:23:52,791 --> 01:23:55,311
Yeah.
1171
01:23:56,271 --> 01:23:58,632
Well,
1172
01:23:58,632 --> 01:24:01,032
I guess it's time.
1173
01:24:05,593 --> 01:24:08,633
- Oh.
- Look who's here.
1174
01:24:10,592 --> 01:24:12,593
Jackie.
1175
01:24:12,593 --> 01:24:15,073
Excuse me, this is a private room.
1176
01:24:15,073 --> 01:24:19,074
Oh, we're not really here.
We thought you were Liz Taylor.
1177
01:24:19,074 --> 01:24:23,074
We knew we weren't supposed to come.
But this is business. Business?
1178
01:24:23,074 --> 01:24:26,955
It's about the new book. We got this
from your publisher in England.
1179
01:24:26,955 --> 01:24:32,036
We can only publish this work
if you remove the profanity. Stop.
1180
01:24:32,036 --> 01:24:36,316
Specifically the word fuck. Stop.
We hope this will not be a problem.
1181
01:24:36,316 --> 01:24:38,317
Please advise.
1182
01:24:38,317 --> 01:24:40,837
What do you want us to do?
1183
01:24:42,797 --> 01:24:45,317
Send 'em a telegram.
1184
01:24:46,277 --> 01:24:49,717
Dear England, fuck you.
1185
01:24:49,717 --> 01:24:51,598
Love,
1186
01:24:51,598 --> 01:24:53,798
Jackie Susann.
1187
01:24:53,798 --> 01:24:56,798
Stop.
1188
01:25:00,759 --> 01:25:03,759
'She made the front-page,'
1189
01:25:03,759 --> 01:25:06,760
'all three dailies
and every network.'
1190
01:25:06,760 --> 01:25:09,760
'She would have been thrilled.'
1191
01:25:09,760 --> 01:25:12,361
'I had lost my best friend.'
1192
01:25:12,361 --> 01:25:16,321
'But I knew she had gotten
what she wanted, what she needed.'
1193
01:25:17,281 --> 01:25:20,401
'She'd made it all the way
to number one.'
1194
01:25:28,482 --> 01:25:32,483
'In Jackie's books, when people get
to be stars, they take Seconal,'
1195
01:25:32,483 --> 01:25:37,483
'Nembutal, they fall for the wrong people
and then kill themselves in their cabanas.'
1196
01:25:37,483 --> 01:25:41,524
'Being famous, it's a bum rap.'
1197
01:25:44,484 --> 01:25:46,965
'But, you know what?'
1198
01:25:46,965 --> 01:25:50,965
'Jackie was a star.
And she loved every minute.'
1199
01:25:50,965 --> 01:25:54,965
'She never got the breaks,
so she made her own.'
1200
01:25:54,965 --> 01:25:57,485
'You gotta love that.'
1201
01:25:59,446 --> 01:26:02,446
'But you know how
I like to remember her?'
1202
01:26:02,446 --> 01:26:06,487
'On that beautiful day
in the Mediterranean.'
1203
01:26:08,447 --> 01:26:11,447
'On that boat, with Onassis,'
1204
01:26:11,447 --> 01:26:14,728
'knowing she'd made it at last.'
1205
01:26:14,728 --> 01:26:17,208
'At the top of the world,'
1206
01:26:17,208 --> 01:26:19,569
'at the top of her game.'
1207
01:26:19,569 --> 01:26:22,969
I think I married the wrong Jackie.
1208
01:26:28,490 --> 01:26:31,009
'Wasn't she great?'
1209
01:26:35,970 --> 01:26:39,971
# I looked at you #
1210
01:26:39,971 --> 01:26:42,971
# Looking at me #
1211
01:26:42,971 --> 01:26:46,012
# There we were #
1212
01:26:46,972 --> 01:26:51,012
# And it just happened #
1213
01:26:53,973 --> 01:26:56,973
# You were the one #
1214
01:26:56,973 --> 01:26:58,973
# And you #
1215
01:26:58,973 --> 01:27:03,973
# Were sent to #
1216
01:27:03,973 --> 01:27:05,974
# Open my heart #
1217
01:27:05,974 --> 01:27:08,974
# And to find #
1218
01:27:08,974 --> 01:27:13,015
# The love that's there #
1219
01:27:15,975 --> 01:27:18,975
# And just for you #
1220
01:27:18,975 --> 01:27:23,016
# For always #
1221
01:27:24,976 --> 01:27:27,977
# All of my hopes #
1222
01:27:27,977 --> 01:27:30,977
# All of my dreams #
1223
01:27:30,977 --> 01:27:34,378
# Everyone #
1224
01:27:34,378 --> 01:27:39,417
# We'll share forever #
1225
01:27:42,378 --> 01:27:44,378
# You were my love #
1226
01:27:44,378 --> 01:27:47,419
# And you were #
1227
01:27:47,499 --> 01:27:50,499
# Sent to #
1228
01:27:50,499 --> 01:27:53,500
# Open my heart #
1229
01:27:53,500 --> 01:27:56,500
# And to find #
1230
01:27:56,500 --> 01:28:01,541
# I live for you-u-u. #
98963
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