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Fifteen years ago in Tromaville,
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00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,945
New Jersey, the Toxic Chemical
Capital of the world
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00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:11,114
little mop boy Melvin Fyrd,
a 98-pound weakling
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00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:15,118
was teased taunted, and other bad stuff,
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00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:20,157
until he fell into a barrel of
toxic chemical waste.
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00:00:20,219 --> 00:00:25,363
Transforming him into a hideously
deformed creature
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00:00:25,424 --> 00:00:28,899
of superhuman size and strength;
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00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:35,875
Melvin became The Toxic Avenger,
the first superhero from New Jersey!
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00:00:35,935 --> 00:00:41,046
Then two really shitty sequels were made...
sorry about that.
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00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:44,614
This is the real sequel.
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00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:26,160
Okay kids, today we're going to celebrate
our special friends below the border.
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00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:31,596
We are going to celebrate take
a Mexican to Lunch Day.
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00:01:31,657 --> 00:01:34,329
Can we say that?
Mexican.
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00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:40,435
Very, very good.
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Now that's where the hard working
Mexicans take naps during the day.
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Just like us?
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Just like us. Exactly like us.
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00:01:54,380 --> 00:02:01,762
Tito, v_hat do you think you're doing young
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00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:04,259
Listen bitch, just because I’m a tard
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00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:09,267
doesn't mean that you have to treat
me like one.
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But because I’m ''special,'' I don't
think I’m ever gonna get laid,
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00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:23,580
so why can't I masturbate?
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00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:30,690
Tito! Okay kids, now do you know
what you're eating?
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That's right tacos. Can you say taco?
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Taco.
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All right you fucking retards drop your
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Fuck this man, I’m outta here.
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What on earth do you think you're doing,
young man?
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I’m trying to teach a class here.
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What kind of man are you?
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This kind.
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We interrupt our coverage of the Smith-Vale Home for the Elderly massacre
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to bring you this very special report.
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00:03:49,895 --> 00:03:53,569
Well folks it looks like we've got
another
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You take this one.
I did the last three.
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00:03:58,704 --> 00:04:04,415
The terrorist group in question,
the Diaper Mafia,
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00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:08,585
have taken the Tromaville School
for the
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We're going to go live now to the
Tromaville School for the Very Special
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00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:18,594
where our correspondent Cindy Tata
is
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00:04:18,824 --> 00:04:22,598
Tromaville police chief Newman
about this very subject.
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00:04:22,661 --> 00:04:26,202
Stick with us after the break where
our very own Josh Levitsky
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will share some of those mouth-watering
recipes for butternut squash.
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Oooh, aaah, I like that
That's good
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00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:36,345
Like a living Martha Stewart
But isn't she still alive?
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Nigga, please.
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00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:41,082
Chief Newman, what caused the
Diaper Mafia
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00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:43,084
horrible acts of violence?
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00:04:43,182 --> 00:04:44,752
Well, uh, ah, no comment.
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00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:47,389
I can't believe this is happening in
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You ask me, these diaper mafia punks
ale
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00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:56,601
What is the use of sending these
retards to school in the first place?
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00:04:58,997 --> 00:05:02,138
All right, Tex, time to
kill another one.
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Yes, daddy.
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Chief Newman, the Diaper Mafia has said
they will execute
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00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:10,246
a special student every half hour
until their demands have been met.
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00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,912
Really?
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00:05:12,010 --> 00:05:13,981
Yet it's been at least 35 minutes since
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00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,918
never mind
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00:05:17,983 --> 00:05:20,588
Well, that's a damn shame it had
to happen on
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00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,590
Take Mexicans to Lunch Day and all.
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00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:27,396
You hear that, pigs, you hear that?
You
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You hear that hear that hear that?
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00:05:29,027 --> 00:05:34,672
A tard dies every five minutes unless
the
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00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:36,469
You got that?!
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Got that got that?
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00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,775
I’m working on it, really
I’m working on it.
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00:05:41,006 --> 00:05:43,778
Please don't shoot any more
of those tards.
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I mean those special kids.
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00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:53,925
Fuck the fucking tards! I’m sick and
tired of their drooling and whining!
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00:05:54,753 --> 00:05:59,129
Now why is it when I shit my pants,
it's a fucking social faux pas?
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00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:01,762
But when a tard shits his pants,
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00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:05,568
a good-looking nurse wipes his ass
for him, huh?
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00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:06,933
She's got her head up her ass.
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00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:13,611
Tex, Tex, Tex check it out! Pregger
pi-ata! HA HA HA!!
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00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:22,316
Hey hey, you've got your head
up your ass!
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Fuck you!
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Fuckin people!
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That's what separates us from the
pussies like the Trenchcoat Mafia,
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00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:33,463
the Flat Top Mafia, and
the No-Pants Mafia.
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Didn't you hear what Kazinski said?
Fucking tard.
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00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:42,205
Gun!
Nooooo!
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00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:07,363
Mayor Goldberg, how do you feel about
the
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Try not to harp about the five
that are dead.
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00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:15,039
Think about the hundreds of students
that are still living, still breathing,
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00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:17,938
and let's pray for an end to all
this murder and mayhem and garbage.
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00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:20,808
Let's pray.
Let's pray.
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Get off the phone!
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Let's pray, goddammit!
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You too.
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Oh lord, in your divine wisdom,
please find it in your heart
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to put an end to this murder
and filth and trash and garbage.
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00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:37,625
Oh, and please help us to get
re-elected one more time ok?
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00:07:37,823 --> 00:07:39,760
Thank you very much God, and amen.
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00:07:39,825 --> 00:07:41,628
Amen.
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Dye-a-nu
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Thank God you're here.
What took you so
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00:07:50,869 --> 00:07:53,274
I had to change. It takes a while.
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00:07:53,338 --> 00:07:56,343
Yeah, ok. All right, kid, hold on,
all
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I got the Really Real Bikini TV crew here.
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00:08:04,249 --> 00:08:08,223
The Diaper Mafia's demands have not yet
been issued, and yet,
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speculation has already begun as to the
motivation behind the senseless attack
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on the mentally feeble student body.
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00:08:16,161 --> 00:08:17,564
What do you think, Nick?
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00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:20,535
I’m gonna have to go with heavy
metal music on this one, Jason.
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00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,470
Aah, interesting.
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00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:26,475
But what about that best-selling
video game Kill All the Retards?
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00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:29,410
Could be a factor, Jason
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00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:32,046
But we cannot forget about
the rap music.
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00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:35,985
Very popular with the kids. I
personally, am not a fan of rap music.
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00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,987
I think you could put a c in front
of rap and call it you-know-what.
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00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:40,386
I don't think you should go that far.
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Not a fan.
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00:08:40,886 --> 00:08:42,154
I think you're going too far.
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00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:42,555
Not a fan.
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00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,592
All right, I think you've
established that.
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You know I think the worst part is that
we'll never know
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Well that won't stop me from casting my
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00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,706
_ll, it certainly couldn't be violence in the Ne;r_J
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00:08:57,770 --> 00:08:58,170
Oh God no.
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00:08:58,237 --> 00:09:01,409
I mean we may broadcast death and
tragedy,
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00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:03,877
in his heart, and I think you'll
back me up on this
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00:09:03,942 --> 00:09:04,076
I will back you up.
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00:09:04,143 --> 00:09:07,884
We would never glorify it.
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00:09:14,119 --> 00:09:16,691
You like that, don't you retard?
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00:09:19,858 --> 00:09:24,033
Hello, Tex, Samantha Chambers,
Really Real Bikini TV.
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00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:25,899
This is my morbidly obese sidekick.
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00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,104
I mean, cameraman, Joe.
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00:09:30,936 --> 00:09:34,108
Well Samantha, looks like I won't
have to frisk you for weapons.
129
00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:43,351
Hey, listen lady, I didn't call you
in here to fuck you.
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00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:46,353
I called you in here because the
Really Real Bikini TV show is
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the number one show in America.
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00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:50,792
Now tell fatty there to turn
on the camera.
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00:09:50,989 --> 00:09:53,628
I’m gonna show ya something.
Okay.
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00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,730
You see this bitch right here?
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00:09:57,329 --> 00:10:02,272
Wasting perfectly good tax dollars
trying to ''teach'' the un-teachable.
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00:10:02,334 --> 00:10:06,341
And if there's one thing the Diaper
Mafia hates more than RETARDS,
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it's genetic traitors.
138
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:16,119
Now, I’m gonna show you what we do
to bitches like that.
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00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,963
Oh my god, it's the Toxic Avenger,Tromaville's famous creature of superhuman size and strength!
140
00:11:31,556 --> 00:11:34,829
lf that's the Toxic Avenger,
where's his
141
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ward and sidekick Fatass?
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It's Lardass, punk!
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00:11:46,171 --> 00:11:47,874
Let's fight.
144
00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:01,590
Toxie's got his head up his ass.
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I've got my head up my ass.
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Children, duck! Duck! No no no no!
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Toxie!
148
00:13:37,782 --> 00:13:40,420
No. You can't kill me Toxie.
149
00:13:40,485 --> 00:13:43,992
You see this exploding timing device
on my chest?
150
00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:46,193
You see that bomb over there
in the corner?
151
00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:48,462
Kiss your school goodbye.
152
00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:50,097
Oh my God!
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00:13:50,728 --> 00:13:54,036
Five seconds after my heart stops
this school is nothin'
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but dead tards and charred lard.
155
00:13:56,101 --> 00:13:57,169
Hey!
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00:13:57,235 --> 00:14:00,575
That's right! Kazinski said you'd
be here. Oh that's right!
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00:14:00,638 --> 00:14:04,713
Sergeant Tito Kazinski, Tromaville ATF.
Where do you think I got all these guns
158
00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:07,714
in the first place anyway, huh?
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00:14:07,779 --> 00:14:11,753
He understands this world is full of
unthinking cattle that need to be
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00:14:11,816 --> 00:14:14,755
led into the new millennium
with a new order.
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00:14:14,819 --> 00:14:18,893
And the first step in the process is to
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00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:22,797
genetically mutated freaks and shit!
Ha-ha-heh-heh.
163
00:14:23,928 --> 00:14:26,300
That' wasn't a nice thing to say.
164
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:29,471
Excuse me, miss Wiener
165
00:14:29,534 --> 00:14:32,737
Toxie, you were always my best student
166
00:14:32,737 --> 00:14:33,505
Thanks!
167
00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:38,446
No Toxie! Don't let your Tromatons
control
168
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:39,612
Tromatons?
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00:14:58,763 --> 00:15:02,971
Think Toxie, if his heart stops
the bomb'll go off!
170
00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:04,670
Aaaaagh! put it back in! Aaaaaaagh!
171
00:15:16,781 --> 00:15:19,018
Ugh, there you go, good as new! Oh darn it.
172
00:15:26,057 --> 00:15:27,627
Oh darn it.
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00:15:27,692 --> 00:15:29,796
Come on Toxie let's get these kids
out of
174
00:15:29,994 --> 00:15:32,299
This building's about to explode!
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00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:37,641
This bomb is now armed.
Detonation in T
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This would be easier if I had a mop.
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00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:53,420
minus 5 seconds.
178
00:15:59,724 --> 00:16:03,631
These drugs are gonna blow my ass off
179
00:16:03,928 --> 00:16:04,763
Whoa. What the?
180
00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:09,570
Didn't your special helper tell you
that drugs are bad for you?
181
00:16:09,634 --> 00:16:10,936
Fuck off super zero!
182
00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:15,208
I’m just trying to act like
all the other cool cats my age.
183
00:16:18,876 --> 00:16:19,645
Ahh! What's the deal Tox?
184
00:16:19,711 --> 00:16:23,919
Well the deal is, I just can't standby
and
185
00:16:23,982 --> 00:16:26,019
I’m not killin' myself
drugs kill my pain.
186
00:16:26,985 --> 00:16:31,026
Being a teenager sucks.
187
00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:32,724
Um, well
188
00:16:32,790 --> 00:16:38,101
Being a retarded teenager sucks worse.
Drugs make it suck less.
189
00:16:38,162 --> 00:16:42,538
You're pretty articulate for a
druggie special student.
190
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:44,638
What's articulatit?
191
00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:50,581
Ahhh! Ummm! Come on!
192
00:17:10,294 --> 00:17:14,536
No Toxie! Church and state must
remain separated!
193
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:26,782
Holy cow! Lardass, I have to go
impregnate
194
00:17:26,978 --> 00:17:31,687
Action sausage nunchuks
Deli style!
195
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,023
T minus 3 seconds.
196
00:17:46,864 --> 00:17:49,804
Oh Toxie hurry! Do you feel
what time it is?
197
00:17:52,403 --> 00:18:17,987
Oh yeah, yeah, YEAH!
Ugh. Ooooh. Ungh.
198
00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:27,515
Oh Toxie, in my blind eyes you are
the most beautiful man in the world.
199
00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:42,355
I can't believe it's not butter!
200
00:18:45,723 --> 00:18:49,798
You know Sarah, I have a good feeling
about the sex we had just now
201
00:18:49,994 --> 00:18:53,100
I really think I got you pregnant.
Oh! What time is it?
202
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,736
Oh! Melvin what's gotten into you?
203
00:18:56,801 --> 00:19:00,775
I know you're really excited about
204
00:19:00,938 --> 00:19:02,909
the results of the pregnancy test
aren't you?
205
00:19:03,842 --> 00:19:06,112
Umm yeah that's it Sarah
206
00:19:06,177 --> 00:19:11,855
No Sarah I gotta get back to the school,
the special kids are in trouble
207
00:19:11,916 --> 00:19:14,921
What am I to you anymore Melvin?
I feel like a giant ovary
208
00:19:15,620 --> 00:19:18,926
with a hundred and ten pounds
of flesh attached. God!
209
00:19:22,627 --> 00:19:23,595
Sarah, what are you saying?
210
00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:24,897
That's not what it is at all.
I love you.
211
00:19:24,962 --> 00:19:28,302
Well I just can't seem to understand
why Lardass can't do some of the
212
00:19:28,966 --> 00:19:30,302
crimefighting by himself some of the time.
213
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:35,443
I know I know Lardass is all grown up
now, but when I made him my ward
214
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,445
all those years ago,
I promised him we'd be partners.
215
00:19:39,377 --> 00:19:41,648
I know he's a big boy now
a really,
216
00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:46,621
really big boy now but he's just
not to defend Tromaville on his own.
217
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:53,763
You go to your Lardass! Maybe he'll have
218
00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:57,866
I love you Sarah.
Yeah.
219
00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:04,004
Toxie's here!
220
00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:13,114
Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D why aren't
you in there helping the Toxic Avenger?
221
00:20:13,177 --> 00:20:16,316
I’m a New York City police officer
this is not my jurisdiction
222
00:20:16,513 --> 00:20:19,486
besides Toxie suggested I stay out here
and stake out the area.
223
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:20,986
Yeah because I can guard everyone
224
00:20:21,185 --> 00:20:22,988
out here with my amazing
oriental super powers
225
00:20:23,187 --> 00:20:26,493
and so everyone should be safe outside
with me here behind this fence.
226
00:20:26,758 --> 00:20:29,730
I think you should actually come
in here
227
00:20:34,966 --> 00:20:37,203
T minus 2 seconds.
228
00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:42,643
Toxie, Toxie!
The bomb is about to go off!
229
00:20:43,174 --> 00:20:45,578
T minus 1 second.
230
00:20:47,078 --> 00:20:49,115
Thank heavens for my emergency
peanut
231
00:20:50,014 --> 00:20:50,982
Come on kids.
232
00:20:51,048 --> 00:20:53,653
Let's go, we have no time to waste!
We've got to evacuate the building.
233
00:20:54,886 --> 00:20:56,021
You're dead. You? You're dead.
234
00:20:56,387 --> 00:21:00,628
Let's get out of here!
Come on, let's go, move it!
235
00:21:05,029 --> 00:21:07,633
T minus 0 seconds,
the bomb will now blow
236
00:21:07,832 --> 00:21:09,969
Thank you for shopping at Kmart.
237
00:21:11,169 --> 00:21:12,037
Lardass, what are you doing?
We've got to get out of here!
238
00:21:12,103 --> 00:21:13,538
No Melvin, there's no time!
239
00:21:13,671 --> 00:21:17,545
There are too many people in the
building, we'll never get them out.
240
00:21:18,176 --> 00:21:21,515
Lardass, no! Don't eat the bomb
241
00:21:21,578 --> 00:21:23,884
Lardass, NO!
242
00:21:23,948 --> 00:21:28,089
Even your superhuman stomach
can't contain it! Noooo!
243
00:22:09,894 --> 00:22:12,298
What have I done?
244
00:22:13,764 --> 00:22:16,402
It's ok, Toxie, sweetie loves you
245
00:22:16,467 --> 00:22:18,637
Speak for yourself, biatch.
Fuck this man,
246
00:22:19,470 --> 00:22:22,576
I’m outta here. Get outta my way pussies.
247
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:28,384
Oh Lardass!
My friend.
248
00:22:36,487 --> 00:22:41,196
Alright men, ready, aim,
249
00:22:42,526 --> 00:22:43,996
make guns go bang.
250
00:22:55,606 --> 00:22:58,778
Alright men, move after him
and use extreme caution.
251
00:22:59,043 --> 00:23:01,447
That lumpy headed bastard is dangerous.
252
00:23:08,819 --> 00:23:09,921
Get in the car!!
253
00:23:15,159 --> 00:23:18,899
Oh? Ok. I suppose I owe you a thanks.
254
00:23:18,962 --> 00:23:23,371
Don't mention it boss,
I’m just glad I decided to stick around.
255
00:23:23,434 --> 00:23:28,977
You just can't trust school
kids these days.
256
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:30,741
Crack deal?
257
00:23:30,808 --> 00:23:33,346
Crack deal? Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD
what are you talking about?
258
00:23:33,411 --> 00:23:36,015
Sgt? NYPD? What?
259
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,382
Huh?
260
00:23:37,448 --> 00:23:38,983
What's wrong with you, Noxie?
261
00:23:39,683 --> 00:23:41,386
Are you selling the crack or
are you smoking it?
262
00:23:41,452 --> 00:23:42,153
Huh?
263
00:23:45,823 --> 00:23:47,526
Shit! Hang on Noxie!
264
00:23:47,925 --> 00:23:48,860
Noxie?
265
00:23:53,063 --> 00:23:55,201
Did you see that? That was a stop sign!
266
00:23:56,867 --> 00:23:57,101
Oh!
267
00:24:01,037 --> 00:24:01,105
Lookout!
268
00:24:06,076 --> 00:24:06,977
What are
269
00:24:08,846 --> 00:24:09,681
Those are police!
270
00:24:09,746 --> 00:24:10,747
What's wrong with you Noxie?
271
00:24:10,747 --> 00:24:13,954
You'd think you've never been
chased by the cops before.
272
00:24:14,152 --> 00:24:15,387
I haven't.
273
00:25:01,865 --> 00:25:04,437
Everybody back, everybody back,
just relax, stay calm.
274
00:25:05,636 --> 00:25:08,608
Toxie you alright?
What happened in there?
275
00:25:11,842 --> 00:25:15,583
Hey medics, get over here,
get Toxie over to the emergency ward.
276
00:25:17,381 --> 00:25:19,083
You alright?
277
00:25:19,149 --> 00:25:21,186
Come here!
278
00:25:39,570 --> 00:25:45,113
Stay back everybody! He's armed.
279
00:25:47,978 --> 00:25:49,648
What the hell did you do to the chief?
280
00:25:50,881 --> 00:25:53,252
Wow! Go Toxie!
281
00:25:54,452 --> 00:25:55,987
Toxie, what could've prompted this
282
00:25:56,186 --> 00:25:57,722
vicious attack on the citizens of Tromaville'
283
00:25:57,788 --> 00:26:00,827
No fucking comment.
284
00:26:03,794 --> 00:26:05,697
Here how bout some hand me downs.
285
00:26:07,163 --> 00:26:08,867
YES!
286
00:26:10,734 --> 00:26:12,236
Any final statement?
287
00:26:13,003 --> 00:26:14,439
Shut your fucking cake hole!
288
00:26:27,117 --> 00:26:27,852
This doesn't look good.
289
00:26:27,918 --> 00:26:29,655
No it doesn't fuckin' look good.
290
00:26:37,027 --> 00:26:37,962
We should do something
291
00:26:38,028 --> 00:26:42,069
Do something like what? Did you see
what he just did to the fuckin' chief?
292
00:26:50,307 --> 00:26:52,177
Fuck that, I’m leavin'. Are you comin'?
293
00:26:53,176 --> 00:26:53,944
Yeah, ok.
294
00:26:55,345 --> 00:26:57,483
Faggot #1 meet faggot #2. Bingo!
295
00:27:04,955 --> 00:27:07,427
Say it ain't so Toxie, say it ain't so.
296
00:27:07,958 --> 00:27:11,932
Lt is so. Hold this fat ass. Oopsie daisy!
297
00:27:21,138 --> 00:27:24,945
Coming up at 1 1 =OO, Toxie kills
virtually everyone in Tromaville.
298
00:27:25,142 --> 00:27:29,116
And our very own Josh Levinsky
gets jiggy with it.
299
00:28:12,956 --> 00:28:16,429
Hang on Noxie, I can't pass this up.
300
00:28:19,963 --> 00:28:22,434
Kabukiman! That was an illegal U turn!
301
00:28:33,476 --> 00:28:35,948
Old Lady dead ahead!
302
00:29:14,117 --> 00:29:15,252
This is an American made car.
303
00:29:15,786 --> 00:29:18,423
Every time they flip 25 feet in the air
and crash down,
304
00:29:18,621 --> 00:29:21,326
they blow up! Let's get out of here.
305
00:29:32,970 --> 00:29:35,441
God damn.
Oh Toxie!
306
00:29:35,505 --> 00:29:37,776
Toxie, the children picked these for you.
307
00:29:38,475 --> 00:29:40,111
Ah, go fuck yourself.
Toxie!
308
00:29:42,645 --> 00:29:44,115
What the hell is going on here?
309
00:29:44,982 --> 00:29:49,123
What is going on indeed.
The events, which you are witnessing,
310
00:29:50,653 --> 00:29:54,293
have proven my theories regarding
the truly fragile nature
311
00:29:55,658 --> 00:29:57,294
of the space-time continuum.
312
00:29:57,828 --> 00:29:58,295
Nurse.
313
00:30:01,999 --> 00:30:02,967
Blackboard
314
00:30:07,004 --> 00:30:07,972
Perfect.
315
00:30:14,177 --> 00:30:17,817
As you can plainly see,
for every dimension,
316
00:30:17,881 --> 00:30:20,987
there exists a diametric opposite of
that dimension. When two explosions
317
00:30:23,186 --> 00:30:26,158
of equal mass occurred simultaneously,
318
00:30:27,224 --> 00:30:30,998
the barrier between Tromaville, and
it's dimensional doppelganger,
319
00:30:33,030 --> 00:30:37,004
Amortville, was weakened for a moment.
This breach caused the Toxic Avenger,
320
00:30:40,070 --> 00:30:44,178
and his evil opposite the Noxious
Offender to enter each other's reality.
321
00:30:46,243 --> 00:30:52,188
Well, that's pretty good for a shriveled
up cripple, who can't get it up.
322
00:30:52,549 --> 00:30:57,025
That is it hell-bitch. I don't need to
take this shit from you.
323
00:30:58,221 --> 00:31:01,962
My erectile dysfunction has been
resolved see. Thanks to the modern
324
00:31:04,660 --> 00:31:07,800
miracle of penile implant it merely
takes a few squeezes of my scrotal
325
00:31:08,031 --> 00:31:11,972
bubble to bring my once flaccid member
to a permanent state of tumescence
326
00:31:15,038 --> 00:31:18,979
Now get over here and
I'll show you shriveled.
327
00:31:19,042 --> 00:31:21,813
Unzip me, and you'll be happy to launch
328
00:31:31,187 --> 00:31:36,999
I die, but my insane theories live on.
329
00:31:47,037 --> 00:31:49,007
_ey Noxie! Where ya been? Long time no see
330
00:31:49,205 --> 00:31:51,510
Hey Noxie, want some of this?
331
00:31:53,043 --> 00:31:57,017
Ah No thank you.
Thanks for the offer but no.
332
00:32:41,858 --> 00:32:43,494
What is this evil, evil place?
333
00:32:49,866 --> 00:32:56,846
Toxie! Nice work at the school my friend.
You need a ride some place?
334
00:32:59,876 --> 00:33:03,450
Grandma, grandma, grandma, grandma,
grandma, grandma, grandma
335
00:33:04,814 --> 00:33:10,292
How am I supposed to smoke this crack
without a fucking pipe?
336
00:33:10,987 --> 00:33:13,459
Fuck off Spazmo, that's the deal.
337
00:33:14,824 --> 00:33:19,633
But, but, but, the deal was the three
of you guys for a rock and a stem.
338
00:33:19,696 --> 00:33:23,470
Look, look, look, you got your crack
right, right? Now, go smoke your shit,
339
00:33:23,533 --> 00:33:25,637
and get out of here.
We'll try not to fuck her up
340
00:33:25,702 --> 00:33:29,810
too bad for you, okay?
Bu but but, that wasn't the deal
341
00:33:30,006 --> 00:33:33,813
That's it. Now I’m going to have
to freak you.
342
00:33:37,347 --> 00:33:39,484
Stop that right now.
343
00:33:39,682 --> 00:33:43,990
Hey, hey Noxie. What's going on man?
You wanna help us beat up the retarded
344
00:33:44,053 --> 00:33:47,660
guy?
Or you, hey you wanna help us rape her?
345
00:33:48,858 --> 00:33:49,993
Yeah, yeah.
346
00:33:51,194 --> 00:33:54,667
Didn't you learn your lesson last time
I Disemboweled you, shoved your head
347
00:33:54,731 --> 00:33:57,336
up your ass, and killed you
with your own diaper?
348
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,002
What? What? Huh?
349
00:33:59,134 --> 00:33:59,936
Guess not.
350
00:34:45,014 --> 00:34:46,650
Sweetie, are you okay?
351
00:34:46,849 --> 00:34:49,988
The bad boys were trying to touch me.
Bad boys, bad boys.
352
00:34:50,052 --> 00:34:53,993
They're gone now, everything is okay.
Keep calm you sweetie and honey.
353
00:34:54,189 --> 00:34:55,660
What's your name little girl?
354
00:34:57,026 --> 00:34:57,994
Sweetie Honey.
355
00:34:59,862 --> 00:35:03,268
Uh, okay. Do you know where you live?
We gotta get you home.
356
00:35:04,133 --> 00:35:08,107
I tried but, my home was gone. 1 122
Maplegrove Rd. Tromaville, New Jersey.
357
00:35:09,171 --> 00:35:11,108
Just like Grandma said,
and it was gone.
358
00:35:14,644 --> 00:35:16,279
And you? What the heck were you doing?
359
00:35:17,647 --> 00:35:20,452
Looking for a crack pipe.
What did it look like I was doing?
360
00:35:20,983 --> 00:35:24,122
Lt looked like you were selling
Sweetie Honey for drugs!
361
00:35:24,487 --> 00:35:26,457
And it looks like I saved you
from a severe beating.
362
00:35:27,156 --> 00:35:29,293
What are you doing here,
and where is your home?
363
00:35:29,492 --> 00:35:35,302
Man, I don't have a home. I am a loner.
And Sweetie's house is gone,
364
00:35:36,999 --> 00:35:38,134
just like she said.
365
00:35:38,834 --> 00:35:40,137
That is ridiculous.
Come on, Sweetie Honey.
366
00:35:48,511 --> 00:35:50,815
See kids, here's the dump, right where
I said it would be.
367
00:35:50,913 --> 00:35:51,981
Now we'll go in my shack
and call your parents.
368
00:35:53,849 --> 00:35:55,319
Parents? No parents, mom and dad died
and then Auntie Em took me in,
369
00:35:55,518 --> 00:35:59,659
but Auntie Em hit me too much so then
nice lady took me to grandma.
370
00:36:01,958 --> 00:36:04,596
Well, we'll call whoever, and Sarah
will make you some lunch, and
371
00:36:09,298 --> 00:36:10,601
Where's my shack? It was right here.
372
00:36:11,801 --> 00:36:12,769
See? I told you.
373
00:36:15,137 --> 00:36:17,775
I don't think we're in Tromaville
anymore Toto.
374
00:36:17,974 --> 00:36:19,777
Tito, my name is Tito.
375
00:36:20,477 --> 00:36:21,110
Whatever.
376
00:36:21,644 --> 00:36:24,281
What are you going to do now,
Mr. Kingshit?
377
00:36:25,982 --> 00:36:28,620
I don't know. I really don't know.
378
00:36:28,685 --> 00:36:30,622
I’m hungry. You said that I was
going to have lunch.
379
00:36:30,820 --> 00:36:31,888
I’m really really hungry.
380
00:36:31,954 --> 00:36:33,791
You want lunch too?
381
00:36:33,990 --> 00:36:38,298
No, see I am a junkie, so I
don't have to eat. But boy am I thirsty,
382
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:40,465
do you have any whiskey or any booze?
383
00:36:40,663 --> 00:36:42,132
Here you go kids, something to eat
and drink.
384
00:36:48,505 --> 00:36:52,144
Eww, gross. This whiskey tastes
like pregnant lady's piss.
385
00:36:52,675 --> 00:36:53,977
What kind of sandwich is this?
386
00:36:57,514 --> 00:37:00,920
Congratulations Sorry you're pregnant.
You know, I don't know why on
387
00:37:00,983 --> 00:37:02,920
the commercials, they say these
pregnancy tests are hard to read,
388
00:37:02,985 --> 00:37:06,926
this seems pretty clear to me.
Oh my gosh, we did it! I’m gonna
389
00:37:09,626 --> 00:37:09,759
A daddy?
390
00:37:09,959 --> 00:37:11,261
Yeah, I made a baby.
391
00:37:11,961 --> 00:37:12,261
Baby!
392
00:37:12,327 --> 00:37:12,629
Yeah
393
00:37:12,962 --> 00:37:13,596
I love babies.
394
00:37:13,663 --> 00:37:15,600
Yes! Yes! Ha ha ha!
395
00:37:16,633 --> 00:37:18,102
Wait a second, wait a second
396
00:37:19,135 --> 00:37:20,103
I gotta find Sarah.
397
00:37:20,169 --> 00:37:21,939
I gotta find out how to get home.
I gotta do something.
398
00:37:24,807 --> 00:37:25,608
You gotta get me lunch.
399
00:37:26,976 --> 00:37:29,881
Okay. I’m gonna figure out how
to get us home,
400
00:37:29,945 --> 00:37:31,114
I’m gonna get you some lunch.
401
00:37:31,981 --> 00:37:32,949
And uh.
Lunch.
402
00:37:33,149 --> 00:37:35,286
and you two stay here.
Stay here?
403
00:37:35,484 --> 00:37:37,120
Stay here.
Here?
404
00:37:37,186 --> 00:37:38,288
Yeah, it's a lot safer here.
405
00:37:38,988 --> 00:37:40,958
It's dangerous and unpredictable
out there.
406
00:37:41,157 --> 00:37:44,296
So just stay here and I'll be back for
you just as soon as I can, okay? Bye.
407
00:37:45,494 --> 00:37:47,297
Stay here, stay here, stay here.
408
00:37:50,667 --> 00:37:55,810
Who does the Toxic Avenger think he is?
My parents? Fuck this place man,
409
00:37:55,871 --> 00:37:57,140
I’m out of here.
410
00:37:57,206 --> 00:37:58,474
No! Tito, you can't go. Toxie said
to stay here. He's over there,
411
00:37:58,540 --> 00:38:02,649
and you're over there and we have
to stay here. Tito, no,
412
00:38:02,712 --> 00:38:05,083
cause I don't want to be alone.
Cause Toxies goin' over there,
413
00:38:05,214 --> 00:38:06,750
and you're goin' over there
and I have to stay here
414
00:38:06,849 --> 00:38:07,750
and mommy and daddy ran away,
415
00:38:08,117 --> 00:38:10,588
and Auntie Em was really mean,
and Uncle Bobby was really mean and
416
00:38:10,653 --> 00:38:15,094
I don't want to be alone! Tito
I don't want to be alone!
417
00:38:15,157 --> 00:38:16,592
Tito come back! Come back!
418
00:38:27,303 --> 00:38:27,937
Okay, Okay.
419
00:38:32,308 --> 00:38:34,946
Okay. You are giving me
a stomachache in my brain.
420
00:38:36,979 --> 00:38:40,118
lf you don't want to be a lonesome
you have to come with me
421
00:38:40,316 --> 00:38:42,453
but I am in charge
I make choices out here.
422
00:38:42,985 --> 00:38:43,618
Kay.
423
00:38:44,721 --> 00:38:45,789
Let's go. I am in charge.
424
00:38:49,658 --> 00:38:50,292
Thanks Tito. Will you hold my hand.
No.
425
00:38:54,163 --> 00:38:55,465
That's okay. Please hold my hand.
426
00:38:59,501 --> 00:39:03,475
You know Toxie I used to think that
you were one of those namby pamby
427
00:39:03,538 --> 00:39:08,415
pussy-footin' mother fuckers.
You know one of those bleeding heart
428
00:39:08,477 --> 00:39:11,149
heroes that's always makin'
my job difficult.
429
00:39:11,213 --> 00:39:14,519
But you're actually a bad guy.
You're all right.
430
00:39:16,118 --> 00:39:16,585
Thanks.
431
00:39:18,453 --> 00:39:22,261
Uh oh. You better split Toxie.
This press conference is about you.
432
00:39:22,792 --> 00:39:24,427
I'll hang around and
see what the deal is,
433
00:39:24,493 --> 00:39:26,865
then we'll meet at your house later.
Go on.
434
00:39:28,463 --> 00:39:29,098
My place?
Go go go.
435
00:39:30,632 --> 00:39:33,104
Oh lick my balls. Mother fucker.
Jesus Fucking H. Christ. Fuck.
436
00:39:35,637 --> 00:39:37,775
I never trusted Toxie!
Yeah!
437
00:39:38,473 --> 00:39:40,946
I knew he was bad from day one!
Yeah!
438
00:39:42,812 --> 00:39:46,151
That's my husband you're talking about.
He loves you people!
439
00:39:47,482 --> 00:39:51,290
Bullshit! We all loved Chief Newman.
Face it! Toxie's gone mad!
440
00:39:52,154 --> 00:39:52,454
Yeah!
441
00:39:55,324 --> 00:39:56,025
Wait! Wait Everybody!
442
00:39:56,158 --> 00:40:01,134
Toxie saved me and my unborn child
from the bomb. Toxie's a hero!
443
00:40:02,331 --> 00:40:04,134
Hero's don't double amputate
police chiefs
444
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:08,308
and hurl twelve-year-old children
into brick walls!
445
00:40:09,504 --> 00:40:10,139
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
446
00:40:11,841 --> 00:40:15,982
Please. Please. Quiet down folks.
Let's get down to the Lord's work.
447
00:40:17,179 --> 00:40:21,020
We all saw the Toxic Avenger kill,
not only our beloved police chief,
448
00:40:21,850 --> 00:40:23,653
but innocent bystanders as well.
449
00:40:24,353 --> 00:40:26,824
So, we've got to bring him in.
For questioning!
450
00:40:27,356 --> 00:40:28,992
Not shot by some
vigilante citizens group.
451
00:40:34,696 --> 00:40:35,330
Fear not citizens!
452
00:40:36,365 --> 00:40:39,337
I have assembled the only team capable
of bringing him in.
453
00:40:41,103 --> 00:40:44,676
Super Heroes, united one and all,
to protect Tromaville.
454
00:40:45,207 --> 00:40:47,177
And I thank God for it.
455
00:40:48,710 --> 00:40:49,344
Now to introduce them
456
00:40:50,212 --> 00:40:54,019
first, please put your hands together
and give the clap to The Vibrator.
457
00:40:59,721 --> 00:41:02,961
Hhhhhhhhi!
458
00:41:05,827 --> 00:41:06,295
Yeah!
459
00:41:06,996 --> 00:41:08,898
Our next superhero protects creatures
of the ocean.
460
00:41:08,998 --> 00:41:12,804
Please give a warm Tromaville
welcome to Dolphin Man!
461
00:41:25,514 --> 00:41:28,486
Unfortunately, there's not much water
here so Dolphin Man is pretty useless.
462
00:41:29,851 --> 00:41:32,823
But, we have somebody stronger,
more powerful, much better looking.
463
00:41:34,689 --> 00:41:37,662
Who are they going to bring out next?
A cow that walks upright?
464
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:39,662
Please welcome Mad Cowboy!
465
00:41:46,435 --> 00:41:47,170
Jesus Christ!
466
00:41:48,537 --> 00:41:50,173
Now, when rock super star
Mastur G
467
00:41:50,705 --> 00:41:52,008
and mild mannered
sex offender John Bator
468
00:41:53,208 --> 00:41:55,011
went into the same faulty elevator
469
00:41:55,877 --> 00:41:58,014
little did they realize that they would
emerge as one man
470
00:41:58,713 --> 00:41:59,682
a man that could fight crime with
471
00:42:00,482 --> 00:42:01,951
shear repulsion and bad rhyming.
472
00:42:03,018 --> 00:42:05,957
Please give a warm welcome to combined
Mastur G and John Bator
473
00:42:08,490 --> 00:42:09,291
Masturbator!
474
00:42:11,993 --> 00:42:14,298
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m the masturbator,
the freaky palm god.
475
00:42:15,497 --> 00:42:18,302
[...] my egg nog. Look out
Here it comes, here it comes,
476
00:42:28,844 --> 00:42:31,816
it's comin' up Tromaville.
Yeah, ooh, ooh hoo. Here I go, yeah.
477
00:42:37,018 --> 00:42:39,490
And now, last but not least,
the man to beat the man,
478
00:42:40,522 --> 00:42:41,490
the creme De la creme
479
00:42:42,023 --> 00:42:45,997
the greatest superhero of all
please welcome Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD
480
00:42:58,540 --> 00:43:00,109
Thank you mayor.
Thank you very much sir. Thank you.
481
00:43:00,976 --> 00:43:03,448
I just want to assure every citizen
of Tromaville that
482
00:43:04,813 --> 00:43:08,787
Sgt Kabukiman, NYPD, can single-handedly...
that I can end Toxie's reign of terror
483
00:43:13,322 --> 00:43:14,122
What a dumbass.
484
00:43:15,156 --> 00:43:17,461
Why, I could take him out with
my heat seeking chopsticks,
485
00:43:22,664 --> 00:43:24,801
or, or I could suffocate him with my
computerized 16 bite sushi,
486
00:43:30,839 --> 00:43:32,976
or burn him, burn him with my
pyro projectile parasols.
487
00:43:35,010 --> 00:43:37,315
I have many more to take him out, but
I don't think that will be necessary,
488
00:43:40,181 --> 00:43:41,817
Toxie will come in on his own.
He was just having a bad day.
489
00:43:46,021 --> 00:43:48,158
We all have bad days! You know,
maybe we don't go around ripping
490
00:43:48,357 --> 00:43:51,496
off the arms of the police chief, and
bash priests and cops in the heads with
491
00:43:57,533 --> 00:43:58,199
Thank you!
492
00:43:58,199 --> 00:44:01,439
He's probably bi-polar. Abraham
Lincoln was bi-polar and what did he do?
493
00:44:02,971 --> 00:44:04,106
He freed the slaves.
494
00:44:04,806 --> 00:44:05,941
So you see, if we just sit back, relax,
495
00:44:06,141 --> 00:44:08,946
everything will come to a
peaceful Kabuki conclusion.
496
00:44:14,149 --> 00:44:17,456
Thank you Kabukiman well as you can see
Tromaville is in very capable hands.
497
00:44:19,821 --> 00:44:20,956
This concludes our press conference.
498
00:44:21,823 --> 00:44:23,960
Now, the moment you've all been
waiting for= the puppet show.
499
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:27,965
Fucking metal ball, fucking grass,
fucking street, fucking fence,
500
00:44:29,164 --> 00:44:30,132
fucking fat girl.
501
00:44:30,832 --> 00:44:31,967
Toxie? Toxie, I’m your biggest fan!!
502
00:44:32,501 --> 00:44:33,469
That's great.
503
00:44:33,835 --> 00:44:35,972
Even a simple crack whore like me,
working her way through art school,
504
00:44:37,339 --> 00:44:38,974
can appreciate the finer aspects of you.
505
00:44:40,175 --> 00:44:41,310
Where is my house?
506
00:44:43,512 --> 00:44:44,814
Maybe we should follow the signs.
507
00:44:46,348 --> 00:44:47,483
Hmm, Toxie's Shack
508
00:45:03,965 --> 00:45:05,100
The plastique palace.
509
00:45:10,972 --> 00:45:11,940
That's me!
510
00:45:24,318 --> 00:45:25,455
That's just wrong.
511
00:45:28,156 --> 00:45:29,291
Stop!
Hold on!
512
00:45:34,496 --> 00:45:37,468
Oh shoot! There goes one of his arms.
Oh, poor baby.
513
00:45:42,837 --> 00:45:46,311
Oh yeah. Look at that. Oh, he got
514
00:45:49,844 --> 00:45:50,980
He's a little bitty boy.
515
00:45:51,846 --> 00:45:52,982
You see that thing runnin' after us
with the mop?
516
00:45:54,348 --> 00:45:55,819
I don't know, man, but he sure is ugly!
517
00:45:56,685 --> 00:45:57,653
C'mon step on it, let's go!
518
00:45:58,687 --> 00:45:59,655
He's getting mighty close.
519
00:46:01,623 --> 00:46:03,425
Oh no, he's jumping into the back
of the car.
520
00:46:06,294 --> 00:46:07,429
Stop, you! Stop the car!
521
00:46:14,969 --> 00:46:17,441
What the good goddamn was that!?
What're we gonna do?
522
00:46:17,506 --> 00:46:18,941
What're we gonna do?
Will you say something?
523
00:46:20,308 --> 00:46:21,611
Aaaah! I’m afraid, I’m afraid!
524
00:46:24,478 --> 00:46:26,784
Get away from me, please please,
525
00:46:27,481 --> 00:46:30,287
I was only kiddin'! Please, no,
don't attack me, please!
526
00:46:45,834 --> 00:46:46,969
Hey ugly, ugly
527
00:46:48,002 --> 00:46:48,971
come here!
528
00:46:54,508 --> 00:46:56,312
Gee, I’m really sorry you
lost your body.
529
00:46:57,345 --> 00:47:00,585
It's ok ugly hero, it hurts but
I've been through worse.
530
00:47:01,449 --> 00:47:04,254
You know a black man in America
gets used to having nobody behind him.
531
00:47:05,453 --> 00:47:06,756
I guess I just got nobody at all
532
00:47:08,289 --> 00:47:10,927
Hey, what are we gonna do about
that crazy ass white boy up there?
533
00:47:12,293 --> 00:47:14,765
Well, I know what we can do
with that mutha fucker.
534
00:47:18,967 --> 00:47:21,438
White power! White Power! White power!
535
00:47:23,138 --> 00:47:24,774
Hey boys I brought you a present.
536
00:47:28,476 --> 00:47:30,613
White Power!
Hey, don't you recognize me?
537
00:47:30,679 --> 00:47:32,448
White Power! White Power!
What you doin?
538
00:47:38,820 --> 00:47:41,959
That was fun. Thanks again for saving
my life super guy. Hey my name's Pompey.
539
00:47:44,993 --> 00:47:47,965
Pleased to meet you Pompey, I’m Toxie.
Sorry.
540
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,469
Well here we are Pompey,
541
00:47:54,002 --> 00:47:55,637
the Plastique Palace.
542
00:47:56,504 --> 00:47:57,639
Oh yeah dude, you don't got to give me
the play by play,
543
00:47:57,773 --> 00:47:58,808
just get me my body back.
544
00:47:59,007 --> 00:48:00,075
Will do.
545
00:48:24,465 --> 00:48:26,101
Mr. Offender
Huh?
546
00:48:26,467 --> 00:48:29,439
Oh I thought you were inspecting
the hot dog factory today.
547
00:48:32,140 --> 00:48:33,275
It's not the penile implant, is it?
548
00:48:33,408 --> 00:48:34,109
No no no!
549
00:48:37,312 --> 00:48:40,284
I mean, um no! Everything's fine
with the uh penile implant.
550
00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:46,455
But will you fix my friend here?
551
00:48:48,489 --> 00:48:49,792
Oh hey, how ya doing there?
552
00:48:51,492 --> 00:48:52,126
Pretty ugly.
553
00:48:52,327 --> 00:48:54,297
I can hear that bitch!
Who you calling ugly?
554
00:48:54,495 --> 00:48:56,632
Get my fucking head out of this
bag here and just give me
555
00:48:56,697 --> 00:48:57,465
my body back alright?
556
00:48:57,999 --> 00:48:59,134
I think we can take care of it!
557
00:48:59,334 --> 00:48:59,802
Thanks!
558
00:49:00,435 --> 00:49:03,741
ls that what you do here? Give me a new
body. I mean build me one.
559
00:49:03,839 --> 00:49:05,575
Think you can give me one of those
bionic bodies or something like that.
560
00:49:05,639 --> 00:49:07,076
Get me a new body, alright?
561
00:49:07,442 --> 00:49:09,245
Hotdog parts.
Yes ma'am.
562
00:49:10,278 --> 00:49:12,916
You make a brother into a hotdog?
You lucky I ain't got my feet!
563
00:49:14,282 --> 00:49:15,083
I'd kick yo ass!
564
00:49:16,284 --> 00:49:19,757
I’m really hungry. I’m really hungry.
Ok Ok. You are so annoying!
565
00:49:21,456 --> 00:49:23,426
No wonder everybody hates
retarded people!
566
00:49:25,626 --> 00:49:27,429
I’m really hungry.
Hungry hung Ry hungry hungry hung Ry.
567
00:49:31,632 --> 00:49:32,600
Hey, lets go to the office and fuck!
568
00:49:35,136 --> 00:49:36,939
C'mon let's get you some hot dogs.
569
00:49:37,638 --> 00:49:38,941
Hot dogs! I really love hot dogs,
Hot dogs.
570
00:49:42,978 --> 00:49:43,946
Aaaah! Help me! Help me!
571
00:49:44,479 --> 00:49:45,949
So that's how they make hot dogs.
Gross.
572
00:49:46,481 --> 00:49:47,951
I’m never eating hot dogs again.
573
00:49:48,649 --> 00:49:52,123
Get me out of this bucket of body parts
and help me find my real body.
574
00:49:52,487 --> 00:49:53,622
Help me, oh my God!
575
00:50:10,005 --> 00:50:10,805
Hey, buddy
576
00:50:11,672 --> 00:50:14,310
can you spare some change
for an out of work particle physicist?
577
00:50:14,675 --> 00:50:15,309
Lardass?
578
00:50:16,011 --> 00:50:16,811
Lardass!
579
00:50:17,478 --> 00:50:18,646
Fuck you, Mr. Lumpyhead!
580
00:50:18,846 --> 00:50:20,816
I can't believe you're alive!
I thought you were dead.
581
00:50:22,017 --> 00:50:24,321
First of all, my name's not Lardass,
582
00:50:25,020 --> 00:50:26,489
it's Chester.
I resent the implication.
583
00:50:27,855 --> 00:50:30,327
Secondly, I wish I was dead.
Huh?
584
00:50:30,525 --> 00:50:32,729
I was a scientist, one of the
greatest in the world,
585
00:50:32,793 --> 00:50:35,165
and now I’m reduced to being
the greatest cocksucker in the world.
586
00:50:37,032 --> 00:50:39,002
Without my Claire, life is meaningless.
587
00:50:41,036 --> 00:50:42,171
Hey, that's my wife!
588
00:50:42,370 --> 00:50:43,672
ls that what you call her?
589
00:50:44,872 --> 00:50:46,175
So you're really not my Lardass?
590
00:50:47,208 --> 00:50:48,343
I’m not Lardass, I’m Chester!
591
00:50:49,377 --> 00:50:51,347
I’m just a common street whore
who happens to know
592
00:50:51,712 --> 00:50:52,680
the key to inter-dimensional travel.
593
00:50:53,714 --> 00:50:54,682
Inter-dimensional travel?
594
00:50:55,383 --> 00:50:57,019
The ability to travel
between dimensions.
595
00:50:57,885 --> 00:51:00,957
And then my Claire was kidnapped,
by your goons, evil crime Lord.
596
00:51:01,989 --> 00:51:04,294
Then I just gave up the project,
gave up my life as I knew it.
597
00:51:04,992 --> 00:51:07,630
But what do you care? To you I’m just
a little piece of human shit
598
00:51:07,995 --> 00:51:09,798
another life shattered by your evil reign.
599
00:51:10,831 --> 00:51:13,469
Another story to tell your cronies
while sitting up in your mansion
600
00:51:13,534 --> 00:51:15,471
up there 4 blocks up on the right.
601
00:51:19,173 --> 00:51:22,313
What's the matter? My lips aren't sweet
enough for your toxic testicle nectar?
602
00:51:23,010 --> 00:51:23,978
Don't worry, Chester, I'll be back.
603
00:51:24,512 --> 00:51:26,816
Well when you come back
you'd better bring cash or pastries
604
00:51:27,014 --> 00:51:28,817
or you're not gonna get to touch this ass.
605
00:51:31,352 --> 00:51:34,157
Melvin, is that you?
I heard what happened at school today.
606
00:51:34,855 --> 00:51:35,823
You can hear?
607
00:51:36,190 --> 00:51:37,826
Of course I can hear.
608
00:51:38,526 --> 00:51:40,496
I was so worried about you.
609
00:51:41,362 --> 00:51:43,833
After all, our soon to be baby
needs a daddy.
610
00:51:45,366 --> 00:51:49,841
And look at the little baby outfit
I made, there's even a little mop.
611
00:51:52,373 --> 00:51:53,508
Wait. You're pregnant?
612
00:51:53,874 --> 00:51:55,510
Well, yeah I’m pregnant.
613
00:51:56,377 --> 00:51:57,044
Melvin,
614
00:51:58,379 --> 00:51:59,514
your hands,
615
00:52:00,648 --> 00:52:02,451
they're so soft.
616
00:52:04,485 --> 00:52:07,791
Oooh, your manly chest,
it's not quite so manly anymore.
617
00:52:10,491 --> 00:52:11,960
Umm, I've been eating a lot of
melons lately.
618
00:52:13,494 --> 00:52:16,967
Oooh, Melvin! Somehow your wiener has
miraculously turned into a vagina.
619
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:21,303
What's going on around here?
620
00:52:22,002 --> 00:52:23,805
Just relax.
Oooow!
621
00:52:24,838 --> 00:52:26,809
It's good for our relationship,
622
00:52:28,342 --> 00:52:29,978
it's good for the baby.
623
00:52:32,012 --> 00:52:33,815
Yeah, ok. Whooo!
624
00:52:34,348 --> 00:52:36,486
Yeah, it's good for the baby, baby.
625
00:53:01,141 --> 00:53:03,613
I don't know what Noxie
sees in this bitch, anyways.
626
00:53:03,978 --> 00:53:06,450
ass is so much sweeter than hers! Where is _
627
00:53:08,983 --> 00:53:11,788
Noxie, hey baby!
628
00:53:17,825 --> 00:53:18,793
Get off me, you
629
00:53:19,327 --> 00:53:20,462
Cock chugging masochist!
630
00:53:22,830 --> 00:53:24,800
Look you pervert, just get get off!
631
00:53:25,833 --> 00:53:28,972
Woo, ok, it's time for the rough stuff.
I'll be right over here, Noxie.
632
00:53:41,849 --> 00:53:42,817
Excuse me, madam.
633
00:53:45,019 --> 00:53:48,993
Claire, wake up, wake up, Claire.
Rise and shine, come on.
634
00:53:51,191 --> 00:53:53,996
Don't worry, we'll get you outta
here in a jiffy.
635
00:53:54,194 --> 00:53:54,828
Woah!
636
00:53:56,531 --> 00:53:57,833
Hey!
637
00:53:59,199 --> 00:54:00,100
Wait a second,
638
00:54:00,635 --> 00:54:01,436
you can see?
639
00:54:03,804 --> 00:54:05,106
Of course I can see, stupid.
640
00:54:06,306 --> 00:54:07,274
You're deaf?
641
00:54:10,310 --> 00:54:12,113
What is this, some kind joke?
Blast!
642
00:54:12,813 --> 00:54:15,785
I wish I took those sign language
classes at Tromaville Community College.
643
00:54:17,652 --> 00:54:21,793
Well, that's ok. I can read lips,
you dirty dumb dumb dumb ass!
644
00:54:24,659 --> 00:54:28,800
What's a matter? Why don't you
rape me rape me and beat me beat me
645
00:54:29,163 --> 00:54:31,968
like you usually do,
you fuckin' pervert!
646
00:54:34,502 --> 00:54:37,975
Fill my chocolate starfish
with your chunky, chunky dick snot.
647
00:54:38,839 --> 00:54:41,978
Come on, come and do it now.
Come and get it over with.
648
00:54:43,010 --> 00:54:44,813
No, no. Hold it, hold it,
you don't understand.
649
00:54:48,683 --> 00:54:49,484
Yeah. Oooooh, yeah.
650
00:55:11,305 --> 00:55:12,106
Fiery
651
00:55:19,647 --> 00:55:20,447
It's explosive.
652
00:55:26,654 --> 00:55:29,291
Well ladies, now that you're
all warmed up,
653
00:55:29,490 --> 00:55:32,629
are your chocolate starfish ready
for my chunky dick snot?
654
00:55:35,663 --> 00:55:36,631
Oh my God,
655
00:55:39,667 --> 00:55:40,969
get that thing away from me!
656
00:55:46,173 --> 00:55:47,141
Where you going?
657
00:55:56,016 --> 00:55:57,652
Where did the lovely lady go?
658
00:55:58,185 --> 00:56:00,088
You're about to find out all the
answers to all your questions.
659
00:56:07,127 --> 00:56:08,930
Look, not that I can't,
but I’m married.
660
00:56:10,631 --> 00:56:11,431
Will you get off!?
661
00:56:11,799 --> 00:56:12,600
I’m trying, damn it!
662
00:56:17,805 --> 00:56:18,438
Claire Claire
663
00:56:23,143 --> 00:56:25,113
Look Claire, look, I know I may look
like that Noxie character,
664
00:56:25,813 --> 00:56:27,115
but I’m not him.
I’m totally different.
665
00:56:28,315 --> 00:56:31,789
What's a-matter, did I do
something wrong? Have I been a bad girl?
666
00:56:34,655 --> 00:56:35,790
I'll do anything you want.
667
00:56:37,157 --> 00:56:38,960
Just don't hurt me no more!
668
00:56:40,661 --> 00:56:41,796
Chester sent me.
669
00:56:43,330 --> 00:56:44,131
Chester?
670
00:56:50,003 --> 00:56:51,974
I’m your daddy now.
671
00:56:57,678 --> 00:56:59,648
I’m about to have your abortion.
672
00:57:04,785 --> 00:57:05,920
Better not be another
Jehovah's witness.
673
00:57:06,619 --> 00:57:07,923
Fuck off! Oh, it's you.
674
00:57:08,121 --> 00:57:11,094
Toxie, I've got a little proposition
for you.
675
00:57:12,793 --> 00:57:14,428
What say we take a little ride?
676
00:57:20,467 --> 00:57:21,535
Ok. Wait, can we stop for ice cream?
677
00:57:25,172 --> 00:57:26,808
Hey, hold it right there, Noxie!
678
00:57:29,009 --> 00:57:32,315
What's wrong with you man? You're
679
00:57:33,180 --> 00:57:36,152
and now what? Takin' the sex slave
out for a romantic dinner?
680
00:57:36,683 --> 00:57:38,821
I don't know what's gotten
into you, but it's not right.
681
00:57:39,353 --> 00:57:41,323
Now why don't' you take that slut
back to the pit where she belongs
682
00:57:41,521 --> 00:57:43,658
and come with me.
We've got something to discuss.
683
00:57:46,193 --> 00:57:46,660
What the fuck!?
684
00:57:48,195 --> 00:57:51,167
[...] Well listen to this!
685
00:57:55,035 --> 00:57:55,668
Run Claire Run!
686
00:57:57,704 --> 00:57:58,672
I knew it.
687
00:57:58,873 --> 00:58:02,279
I knew something was wrong. You're not
the real Noxie after all, are you?
688
00:58:02,810 --> 00:58:03,778
That may be,
689
00:58:03,978 --> 00:58:07,617
but I know Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD
and you sir are no Sgt, Kabukiman NYPD.
690
00:58:12,519 --> 00:58:14,321
in his special piece
about lesbians titled
691
00:58:14,321 --> 00:58:17,293
Strappin' it on and getting
up over in there.
692
00:58:17,357 --> 00:58:17,657
Lord, Jesus, Mother Mary, you up there.
It's me, Mayor Goldberg of Tromaville.
693
00:58:17,657 --> 00:58:18,625
Rootin' around.
694
00:58:18,826 --> 00:58:20,963
Hey, I know where I’m gonna be at 1 1.
Hey, that's appointment TV!
695
00:58:23,998 --> 00:58:26,970
I really really need you. Lord,
I need a sign, just any sign,
696
00:58:27,667 --> 00:58:31,474
just to show me that you're here
for the people of Tromaville.
697
00:58:33,173 --> 00:58:36,312
Please Lord, just just any sign
just a sign. Please any sign.
698
00:58:44,684 --> 00:58:46,821
Oh well, thanks for taking the
time to listen.
699
00:58:48,522 --> 00:58:52,329
I feel better for asking.
Amen.
700
00:59:06,139 --> 00:59:08,277
Coming up at 1 1 , Mayor Goldberg out
Toxie in.
701
01:01:16,035 --> 01:01:17,003
Toxie? Toxie?
702
01:01:54,241 --> 01:01:55,543
What? Who's there?
703
01:02:01,914 --> 01:02:03,485
Look, my name ain't Mister Head, man,
704
01:02:03,583 --> 01:02:03,816
it's Pompey.
Oh, Pompey, it's very
705
01:02:03,883 --> 01:02:07,122
nice to meet you. My name is Tito.
706
01:02:07,186 --> 01:02:10,293
Yah how you doin', Tito?
707
01:02:10,357 --> 01:02:10,724
Pompey, lets make a deal.
Uh-huh.
708
01:02:11,024 --> 01:02:11,157
lf you chew through my ropes,
709
01:02:11,225 --> 01:02:15,933
I won't let you become meat product, ok?
710
01:02:15,995 --> 01:02:16,696
Shit, that sounds like a plan to me,
711
01:02:16,763 --> 01:02:18,833
Tito. Come here.
712
01:02:25,272 --> 01:02:27,676
Chew, chew, Pompey! Chew like the wind!
713
01:02:31,444 --> 01:02:34,784
Chew Pompey, but hurry or else you'll
714
01:02:34,847 --> 01:02:35,683
become Pompey headcheese...
715
01:02:35,749 --> 01:02:37,218
Wha! Not headcheese, no!
716
01:02:37,284 --> 01:02:41,692
Almost.... Alright, got it
717
01:02:42,722 --> 01:02:44,692
Come get me, get me.
718
01:02:46,393 --> 01:02:48,195
Fuck this man, I’m outta here.
719
01:02:48,261 --> 01:02:53,872
Me too! Me too! Help! Me too! Me too!
720
01:03:02,475 --> 01:03:05,815
Ok, ready, here we go.
721
01:03:19,526 --> 01:03:21,496
Wait Tito! Toxie needs help.
722
01:03:36,876 --> 01:03:40,516
No! No no no!
723
01:03:42,215 --> 01:03:43,518
What do I do?
724
01:03:43,583 --> 01:03:44,551
You big retarded pussy!
725
01:03:44,618 --> 01:03:45,519
You better get your ass over there
726
01:03:45,585 --> 01:03:46,453
and help that retarded girl.
727
01:03:46,519 --> 01:03:47,622
You go girl! You hit him!
728
01:03:47,687 --> 01:03:48,655
Hit him again! He'll survive that.
729
01:03:49,689 --> 01:03:50,657
You get him, retarded girl.
730
01:03:50,724 --> 01:03:52,694
Work it out.
731
01:04:18,184 --> 01:04:19,620
Come, we gotta get out of here.
732
01:04:32,198 --> 01:04:34,168
Dead end. Dead end. Dead end.
733
01:04:34,233 --> 01:04:37,673
Toxie, we've got to go.
734
01:04:43,710 --> 01:04:45,680
Oh no, no no. What happened?
735
01:04:45,745 --> 01:04:48,517
Kabukiman's coming. We've got to go.
736
01:04:50,216 --> 01:04:52,688
Come on, let's go, let's go.
Jump, chickenshit. C'mon Let's go.
737
01:04:53,219 --> 01:04:54,522
I don't want to go I don't want to go.
Go
738
01:05:00,660 --> 01:05:02,630
Damn.
739
01:05:09,669 --> 01:05:12,641
Damn they're very slowly getting away
740
01:05:12,706 --> 01:05:15,812
Oh Well, Fuck'em.
741
01:05:16,643 --> 01:05:20,650
Tromaville news on the march.
742
01:05:21,681 --> 01:05:25,655
Mayor Goldberg, Tromaville's liberal
743
01:05:25,719 --> 01:05:27,656
kubla khan, dead at 52.
744
01:05:28,688 --> 01:05:30,825
What is to become of Tromadu?
745
01:05:30,890 --> 01:05:32,627
Tromadu!
746
01:05:32,692 --> 01:05:34,662
What will happen to the stately
747
01:05:34,728 --> 01:05:35,629
pleasure dome he built with the
748
01:05:35,695 --> 01:05:37,632
taxpayers money?
749
01:05:37,697 --> 01:05:40,669
Tromadu, where man and beast play,
750
01:05:43,703 --> 01:05:46,675
and women play with each other.
751
01:05:55,214 --> 01:05:58,186
Tromadu, haven to the artsy
752
01:05:58,718 --> 01:06:00,621
and to the fartsy,
753
01:06:01,654 --> 01:06:03,625
and who can forget the
754
01:06:03,690 --> 01:06:05,125
interpretive dancers?
755
01:06:07,159 --> 01:06:08,128
People are letting it all hang out
756
01:06:08,194 --> 01:06:09,129
at one of the famous Tromadu
757
01:06:09,195 --> 01:06:12,134
grotto parties.
758
01:06:17,169 --> 01:06:19,140
Look here, it's the Toxic Avenger,
759
01:06:19,205 --> 01:06:20,640
Tromaville's newest mayor.
760
01:06:20,707 --> 01:06:22,643
Mr. Toxie, how did you find cultural
761
01:06:22,709 --> 01:06:26,148
conditions in Tromaville?
762
01:06:26,679 --> 01:06:29,651
With great difficulty.
763
01:06:31,684 --> 01:06:33,654
Hey Toxie, what do you make of this
764
01:06:33,720 --> 01:06:35,656
easy on the eyes Jackson Pollack-esque
765
01:06:35,722 --> 01:06:36,656
painting here?
766
01:06:40,526 --> 01:06:41,494
Oh,
767
01:06:46,698 --> 01:06:48,669
well I guess everyone's a critic.
768
01:06:50,202 --> 01:06:51,672
Look at these young lovers, enjoying
769
01:06:51,738 --> 01:06:54,676
the bounteous pleasures at Tromadu.
770
01:06:56,208 --> 01:06:58,646
I could die in these breasts.
771
01:06:58,710 --> 01:07:00,614
Bullseye!
Cupid strikes again.
772
01:07:04,984 --> 01:07:06,119
And so does Toxie.
773
01:07:14,493 --> 01:07:18,133
That's what I call a facelift.
Looking good, Toxie.
774
01:07:19,165 --> 01:07:21,803
At Tromadu,
Toxie is always ahead in the polls,
775
01:07:23,002 --> 01:07:23,970
or a pole in the head.
776
01:07:24,636 --> 01:07:25,138
Whoopsie daisy.
777
01:07:26,505 --> 01:07:28,475
Uh oh, the party's over says Toxie.
778
01:07:32,178 --> 01:07:34,482
Wow. It looks like Toxie's
really tuckered out.
779
01:07:36,349 --> 01:07:39,488
Uh, What's that on your face, Toxie?
Nose blood.
780
01:07:45,524 --> 01:07:47,996
Toxie promises his first action
as mayor will be to kill
781
01:07:48,194 --> 01:07:50,665
all those goofy superheroes,
especially Kabukiman.
782
01:07:52,198 --> 01:07:54,602
Oh my gosh, we're doomed.
We're doomed.
783
01:07:55,201 --> 01:07:56,336
We're gonna die.
784
01:08:00,806 --> 01:08:04,780
Wait, we getting all chicken, it's
about time we do some evil ass kickin'.
785
01:08:06,145 --> 01:08:07,614
That's really nice, Masturbator,
786
01:08:08,314 --> 01:08:11,119
but fuck that.
I’m not going to die, not in Jersey.
787
01:08:11,650 --> 01:08:14,288
Now I’m getting the hell out of here.
MOOOOOO!
788
01:08:37,509 --> 01:08:40,148
My God, I never thought of it
that way before.
789
01:08:41,347 --> 01:08:42,482
Now let's save Tromaville.
790
01:08:43,349 --> 01:08:43,983
Yeah!
791
01:08:46,018 --> 01:08:48,156
Go Mad Cowboy.
Go Dolphin Man.
792
01:08:48,520 --> 01:08:50,658
Go Masturbator. Speed it up Vibrator.
793
01:08:52,691 --> 01:08:53,659
I’m cominggggggg!!!!
794
01:09:12,145 --> 01:09:13,280
That Kabuki-faggot ran away.
795
01:09:15,481 --> 01:09:16,449
I kicked his ass good.
796
01:09:18,985 --> 01:09:19,952
I guess that takes
797
01:09:27,493 --> 01:09:28,628
well I guess that
798
01:09:37,670 --> 01:09:38,471
I guess
799
01:09:41,174 --> 01:09:42,476
I guess that takes care of that.
800
01:09:56,522 --> 01:09:59,327
I, Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD am a failure.
I suck.
801
01:10:05,531 --> 01:10:06,499
My arm is broken.
802
01:10:08,201 --> 01:10:09,336
My leg is all fucked up.
803
01:10:11,036 --> 01:10:12,506
And I gotta pee like a race horse.
804
01:10:14,707 --> 01:10:15,675
Where's the hospital?
805
01:10:18,544 --> 01:10:19,345
Aaaaww shite!
806
01:10:21,547 --> 01:10:22,515
This ain't no fuckin' hospital!
807
01:10:23,716 --> 01:10:24,684
It's not the fuckin hospital!
808
01:10:26,719 --> 01:10:27,687
Hey, ya got a pisser in here?
809
01:10:29,722 --> 01:10:31,692
Cause' I've gotta pee real bad.
Yes I do.
810
01:10:44,403 --> 01:10:45,304
Oh my Gosh,
811
01:10:46,405 --> 01:10:49,042
who could do such a thing
to a defenseless,
812
01:10:49,742 --> 01:10:50,710
beautiful,
813
01:10:51,744 --> 01:10:54,883
hot,
exceedingly attractive woman like that?
814
01:10:55,914 --> 01:10:56,715
I must,
815
01:10:57,250 --> 01:10:58,719
I must free her, yeah.
816
01:11:00,586 --> 01:11:02,656
Here I come, Kabukiman to the rescue.
817
01:11:05,358 --> 01:11:07,160
Hold on there damsel in distress.
818
01:11:10,028 --> 01:11:11,664
Your hero is about to arrive, to save.
819
01:11:12,865 --> 01:11:13,833
I’m here to rescue you.
820
01:11:14,032 --> 01:11:15,000
Just grab these knots.
821
01:11:15,868 --> 01:11:16,836
Undo these knots.
822
01:11:17,035 --> 01:11:17,836
This knot.
823
01:11:19,538 --> 01:11:20,506
This is not easy.
824
01:11:40,058 --> 01:11:41,026
Have a pie.
825
01:11:50,569 --> 01:11:51,537
See ya tomorrow?
826
01:11:56,074 --> 01:11:57,377
Alright, alright, who's next?
827
01:12:01,680 --> 01:12:02,648
Claire is that you?
828
01:12:04,015 --> 01:12:04,984
Oh Chester.
829
01:12:07,353 --> 01:12:08,321
Claire! I though you were dead!
830
01:12:11,357 --> 01:12:12,325
I was dead without your love.
831
01:12:13,191 --> 01:12:14,827
I dreamt of you every single night.
832
01:12:18,196 --> 01:12:20,668
[...]
833
01:12:23,369 --> 01:12:26,675
the rape, the torture, the corn holing
that fucker Noxie put me through.
834
01:12:32,043 --> 01:12:32,678
Ohhhh.
835
01:12:34,045 --> 01:12:36,684
Oh my darling look what he
did to your face.
836
01:12:37,716 --> 01:12:38,851
That doesn't matter now.
837
01:12:40,051 --> 01:12:41,187
All that matters is that I’m here
838
01:12:43,221 --> 01:12:44,022
with you.
839
01:12:54,733 --> 01:12:55,701
Oh Chester!
840
01:13:01,674 --> 01:13:02,475
Ooh Yea!
841
01:13:21,527 --> 01:13:22,662
Do you remember the cheese?
842
01:13:26,198 --> 01:13:27,333
I saved the cheese for you, Claire.
843
01:13:29,034 --> 01:13:31,672
I've been waiting so long to
cut the cheese for you, Claire.
844
01:13:55,060 --> 01:13:56,195
Oh Claire, I love you.
845
01:14:02,167 --> 01:14:03,302
You're pregnant!
Ha-ha-ha!
846
01:14:05,003 --> 01:14:05,971
That's wonderful doctor!
847
01:14:07,005 --> 01:14:08,808
You're pregnant with two babies.
848
01:14:10,676 --> 01:14:11,644
Two babies!?
849
01:14:13,178 --> 01:14:15,315
From what appears to be two
completely different fathers.
850
01:14:17,182 --> 01:14:18,150
And that's preposterous!
851
01:14:20,686 --> 01:14:21,821
That must be
852
01:14:22,688 --> 01:14:23,488
good
853
01:14:24,022 --> 01:14:24,990
and evil.
854
01:14:25,691 --> 01:14:26,659
Right.
855
01:14:28,026 --> 01:14:29,662
Well what can I do about that doctor?
856
01:14:31,196 --> 01:14:32,498
Well I’m glad you asked that question.
857
01:14:34,199 --> 01:14:35,000
Nurse?
858
01:14:37,035 --> 01:14:38,337
Oh lovely, just like that. Thank you.
859
01:14:40,205 --> 01:14:43,679
What I have done is extracted the actual
fluid from the feti inside your body.
860
01:14:47,879 --> 01:14:50,351
This is the good fluid,
this is the evil fluid.
861
01:14:50,448 --> 01:14:51,516
You can tell because it's red.
862
01:14:52,383 --> 01:14:54,187
Now, inside your body you
have to make a choice
863
01:14:57,055 --> 01:14:59,359
because these two right, they're
fighting, fighting, fighting.
864
01:14:59,557 --> 01:15:01,962
One will win, and eventually
this is what it will look like.
865
01:15:06,665 --> 01:15:07,633
That sizzles.
866
01:15:09,167 --> 01:15:10,135
That will be you.
867
01:15:11,837 --> 01:15:13,640
The choice is very simple
and clearly yours.
868
01:15:13,839 --> 01:15:17,312
Either A, you can choose to explode,
or B, you can choose to abort.
869
01:15:18,677 --> 01:15:21,816
Explode or abort.
What does one do?!
870
01:15:24,016 --> 01:15:25,652
I'll have to think about that, doctor.
871
01:15:26,852 --> 01:15:29,824
Ponder not too long because actually
you only have about two or three hours
872
01:15:30,022 --> 01:15:31,491
until this whole process takes place.
873
01:15:37,696 --> 01:15:39,331
Melvin, where are you!?
874
01:15:40,866 --> 01:15:44,339
Doctor, don't you think it's time you
removed the thermometer from my behind?
875
01:15:44,536 --> 01:15:45,504
Well, let me check.
876
01:15:50,709 --> 01:15:52,511
Tromaville Abortion Clinic,
may I help you?
877
01:15:53,211 --> 01:15:55,348
I’m sorry but the doctor's
still in the topless bar,
878
01:15:56,048 --> 01:15:57,517
uh, I mean an appointment.
879
01:15:58,717 --> 01:16:00,186
Would you like his voicemail?
880
01:16:03,655 --> 01:16:05,960
Choose life or die!
Choose life or die!
881
01:16:06,992 --> 01:16:09,296
Choose life or die!
Choose life or die!
882
01:16:10,662 --> 01:16:13,467
Choose life or die!
883
01:16:13,999 --> 01:16:16,136
Woah, it sure is hot out here today.
884
01:16:23,341 --> 01:16:24,309
Hello?
Excuse me,
885
01:16:26,344 --> 01:16:28,481
is this the line for
the family planning?
886
01:16:31,183 --> 01:16:31,984
No?
887
01:16:32,350 --> 01:16:33,485
Burn in hell, abortion bitch!
888
01:16:38,023 --> 01:16:40,995
At least this sweet gentle rain
will cool things off today.
889
01:16:47,532 --> 01:16:48,500
Oh my goodness!
890
01:16:50,368 --> 01:16:51,838
Oh my goodness, sweetie, look at you!
891
01:16:53,205 --> 01:16:55,008
Quick we gotta get you in the wash ASAP.
Careful. We'll take good care of you.
892
01:16:59,878 --> 01:17:02,282
Well, I’m really only here
to weigh my options.
893
01:17:03,314 --> 01:17:04,450
Options? Oh we've got lots of options!
894
01:17:06,317 --> 01:17:08,622
Let's see, first we open up your
vagina with this speculum,
895
01:17:12,490 --> 01:17:14,460
and take this instrument,
a little sort of like a harpoon,
896
01:17:16,327 --> 01:17:17,463
and we can shove on in and
897
01:17:20,498 --> 01:17:21,800
Why, what's the matter, my dear?
898
01:17:22,500 --> 01:17:23,635
I think I'm going into labor.
899
01:17:25,336 --> 01:17:28,643
Oh my goodness, we better abort
in a hurry, Doctor Cassidy!
900
01:17:35,346 --> 01:17:36,649
What seems to be the problem,
Miss Scraper?
901
01:17:37,682 --> 01:17:39,652
This young lady needs to be
De-foetused, stat!
902
01:17:40,685 --> 01:17:43,657
Ah, an excellent choice, my dear.
And so much better for the children,
903
01:17:44,022 --> 01:17:44,990
I’m sure you'll agree.
904
01:17:45,356 --> 01:17:47,327
Now let's just take a tiny
little listen, ok?
905
01:17:49,527 --> 01:17:50,829
Whoa, my, my, that one is lively,
isn't it.
906
01:17:54,865 --> 01:17:57,671
That fuckin' speculum, I told you to
put the mother-fucker away!
907
01:17:58,738 --> 01:18:04,939
That speculum! I told you to put that speculum away!
I said: would you please put that speculum away.
908
01:18:06,644 --> 01:18:08,280
There's a case
for the speculum!
909
01:18:13,651 --> 01:18:14,619
Next.
910
01:18:16,154 --> 01:18:17,456
My anus!
My fuckin' butthole!
911
01:18:23,661 --> 01:18:24,796
Call a doctor!
912
01:18:30,002 --> 01:18:31,637
Tromaville Abortion Clinic,
may I help you?
913
01:18:33,505 --> 01:18:34,974
I’m sorry but the doctor just
died of rectal hemorrhaging.
914
01:18:37,675 --> 01:18:38,810
Would you like his voicemail?
915
01:18:40,512 --> 01:18:41,647
It's alright, it's ok.
916
01:18:42,680 --> 01:18:43,648
It's ok Toxie.
917
01:18:44,516 --> 01:18:45,651
Look! I told you he'd be here!
918
01:18:47,185 --> 01:18:49,322
Claire says that she knew
you'd be here, in this dump!
919
01:18:50,522 --> 01:18:51,490
It's the only place I know.
920
01:18:52,524 --> 01:18:54,661
We'd like to thank you again,
for bringing us back together.
921
01:18:55,860 --> 01:18:56,828
Yes, thank you.
922
01:18:58,363 --> 01:18:59,331
So come on, let's get you out of here.
923
01:19:00,365 --> 01:19:01,266
What's the point?
924
01:19:02,633 --> 01:19:05,773
I mean I belong here in the dump with
the garbage and the rotting food.
925
01:19:07,305 --> 01:19:08,440
You seem to have forgotten something.
926
01:19:09,307 --> 01:19:12,279
I’m a physicist. When I said I was
gonna get you out of here,
927
01:19:12,643 --> 01:19:13,612
I meant this dimension!
928
01:19:14,479 --> 01:19:15,280
Dimension.
929
01:19:16,314 --> 01:19:17,282
Come on.
930
01:19:17,482 --> 01:19:18,116
Come on.
931
01:19:18,483 --> 01:19:19,451
Let's go.
We Go
932
01:19:21,319 --> 01:19:24,458
A scientific comrade of mine was
recently killed in a freak accident,
933
01:19:25,156 --> 01:19:27,461
and he bequeathed me his
entire laboratory, and all of his insane
theories about inter-dimensional travel.
934
01:19:31,662 --> 01:19:32,464
Travel.
935
01:19:33,498 --> 01:19:34,466
I hope you don't mind the mess.
936
01:19:34,832 --> 01:19:35,967
Um, no, I didn't even notice it.
937
01:19:38,503 --> 01:19:39,638
Now let's get you back to Tromaville.
938
01:21:00,852 --> 01:21:01,987
I think I've got it, Toxie.
939
01:21:03,855 --> 01:21:05,491
I've found the key to
inter-dimensional travel
940
01:21:05,857 --> 01:21:06,992
in this seldom read scientific tome.
941
01:21:08,860 --> 01:21:10,162
Please tell me it doesn't
involve exploding
942
01:21:10,695 --> 01:21:11,830
a school full of special children.
943
01:21:13,030 --> 01:21:13,998
No, it's much simpler.
944
01:21:15,367 --> 01:21:18,339
You see Toxie, You've had the power
to go home this whole time.
945
01:21:23,875 --> 01:21:25,010
These will help you find your way.
946
01:21:28,045 --> 01:21:28,846
Oy gevalt.
947
01:21:29,714 --> 01:21:30,682
Ooooh.
948
01:21:34,552 --> 01:21:35,687
The operating procedures
are quite simple.
949
01:21:37,054 --> 01:21:40,528
All you have to do is think of home
and click your heels three times.
950
01:21:43,395 --> 01:21:44,530
You may have to try this
more than once.
951
01:21:45,563 --> 01:21:47,533
Inter-dimensional travel is not
an exact science.
952
01:21:48,400 --> 01:21:49,368
You might find yourself in Heaven.
953
01:21:49,567 --> 01:21:51,704
Or you might find yourself on a
1910's gay porno set.
954
01:21:53,571 --> 01:21:54,038
Ready?
955
01:21:55,573 --> 01:21:56,374
Upsy daisy.
956
01:21:57,742 --> 01:21:59,211
Come on, Tito.
Come on, Tito, hop up.
957
01:21:59,744 --> 01:22:00,645
I’m not going.
958
01:22:03,347 --> 01:22:04,483
What do you mean you're not going?
959
01:22:06,684 --> 01:22:08,654
Tito, come on, we've got to go
back to
960
01:22:08,853 --> 01:22:09,821
We don't belong here.
961
01:22:11,523 --> 01:22:12,658
I don't belong anywhere.
962
01:22:14,692 --> 01:22:17,497
But as long as there are people
like evil mabuki pagoop
963
01:22:19,864 --> 01:22:24,005
Kabukiman running around, I must stay
and protect the citizens of Amortville.
964
01:22:26,203 --> 01:22:27,673
I have become the Retarded Revenger!
965
01:22:30,708 --> 01:22:32,511
Don't forget about your sidekick, Pompey,
966
01:22:32,710 --> 01:22:35,515
the baddest bodyless mother-fucker
in all of Amortville.
967
01:22:39,551 --> 01:22:41,688
I want you to have this,
in memory of Lardass.
968
01:22:46,223 --> 01:22:48,360
Actually, Tito, you've already
made me proud.
969
01:22:49,727 --> 01:22:50,360
My man
970
01:22:50,895 --> 01:22:51,863
I will miss you,
971
01:22:54,065 --> 01:22:54,866
Toxic Avenger.
972
01:22:57,401 --> 01:22:58,537
I'll miss you too, Tito.
973
01:22:59,571 --> 01:23:00,639
Yeah,
can I have my blanket?
974
01:23:07,512 --> 01:23:07,979
Ready?
975
01:23:10,681 --> 01:23:13,654
There's no place like Tromaville.
There's no place like Tromaville.
976
01:23:15,352 --> 01:23:16,655
There's no place like Tromaville.
977
01:23:35,706 --> 01:23:37,677
Uh Oh What's
What the What the
978
01:23:42,379 --> 01:23:43,514
Owch Ow Ooh!
I never felt
979
01:23:52,389 --> 01:23:53,023
Cut!
980
01:24:03,500 --> 01:24:04,468
Alfred Jones
981
01:24:05,502 --> 01:24:06,470
Leukemia
982
01:24:07,672 --> 01:24:08,640
Jeffrey Smith
983
01:24:09,674 --> 01:24:10,642
Alcoholism
984
01:24:12,343 --> 01:24:13,311
Bill Gullow
985
01:24:13,678 --> 01:24:14,646
Polio
986
01:24:14,846 --> 01:24:17,483
God, I kinda think they invented
a cure for that one.
987
01:24:18,850 --> 01:24:19,985
Goddammit! Well that's alright.
988
01:24:21,518 --> 01:24:22,988
Every time they come up with a cure
for one disease,
989
01:24:23,354 --> 01:24:24,824
I come up with something
even more deadly!
990
01:24:26,858 --> 01:24:28,160
AIDS. Now that was a good one!
991
01:24:28,693 --> 01:24:29,493
AIDS!
992
01:24:36,033 --> 01:24:37,669
God?
Yeah, what do you want?
993
01:24:38,703 --> 01:24:39,671
We just wanna go home.
994
01:24:40,037 --> 01:24:42,007
You bastard!
What do you wanna go home for!?
995
01:24:42,707 --> 01:24:44,844
This is Heaven!
This is the best place around!
996
01:24:47,378 --> 01:24:48,012
Ok.
997
01:24:50,047 --> 01:24:53,520
God, I think this is the
Toxic Avenger, he's from Tromaville.
998
01:24:54,551 --> 01:24:56,021
Alright, you can go back to Tromaville,
999
01:24:57,554 --> 01:24:59,024
but you gotta do me two favors!
Uh-huh.
1000
01:24:59,724 --> 01:25:02,963
First you gotta kick the asses
of all the murderers and child rapists!
1001
01:25:03,027 --> 01:25:03,627
Yeah.
1002
01:25:04,328 --> 01:25:07,467
And, you tell the pope, stop talking
about me, he doesn't know me.
1003
01:25:07,998 --> 01:25:11,638
He's an asshole and tell him
his hat looks fucking stupid.
1004
01:25:12,336 --> 01:25:13,638
Uh, yes sir
Get outta here.
1005
01:25:14,671 --> 01:25:16,307
Alright God! You're awesome!
1006
01:25:23,013 --> 01:25:25,651
All those other super human heroes
would've died anyways.
1007
01:25:27,351 --> 01:25:28,653
Now I've got Toxie's shack,
1008
01:25:30,020 --> 01:25:33,660
we're drinkin' we got some bimbos
on the way, it's all good.
1009
01:25:36,693 --> 01:25:38,663
There's no place like Tromaville.
There's no place like Tromaville.
1010
01:25:44,701 --> 01:25:46,671
Noxie he's gonna kill.
Oh what do I do?
1011
01:25:47,704 --> 01:25:51,011
I just had the weirdest dream!
And Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD you were there.
1012
01:25:52,376 --> 01:25:54,513
Except you were evil
and you kicked my ass.
1013
01:25:55,712 --> 01:25:56,680
And you!
1014
01:25:58,048 --> 01:25:58,682
You weren't there.
1015
01:25:59,383 --> 01:26:00,351
And you!
1016
01:26:00,818 --> 01:26:02,120
You weren't there either.
1017
01:26:03,487 --> 01:26:04,622
Who are you guys? What're you
doing in my shack?
1018
01:26:05,322 --> 01:26:06,290
Don't hurt me.
1019
01:26:08,325 --> 01:26:11,130
Kabuk, where's Sarah? What's going on?
What happened to you?
1020
01:26:12,830 --> 01:26:13,463
Toxie?
1021
01:26:14,331 --> 01:26:16,468
Toxie is that really you?
Is that the real you?
1022
01:26:17,668 --> 01:26:18,636
Yeah it's me.
1023
01:26:19,336 --> 01:26:20,304
Oh thank God,
1024
01:26:22,339 --> 01:26:24,476
Hey you've gotta stop yourself,
the evil version of you.
1025
01:26:26,677 --> 01:26:27,645
You've gone power mad.
1026
01:26:28,679 --> 01:26:29,814
The evil version of me?
1027
01:26:32,016 --> 01:26:32,984
Sweetie Honey!
1028
01:26:34,852 --> 01:26:35,987
Then it wasn't a dream!
1029
01:26:37,688 --> 01:26:38,489
Where's Sarah?
1030
01:26:39,023 --> 01:26:40,325
I saw her at the hospital.
1031
01:26:40,691 --> 01:26:43,998
She's been kidnapped by the evil
Toxic Avenger, the evil you, and
1032
01:26:45,029 --> 01:26:47,833
Wait, you don't wanna go in there.
It's all sealed up tight now
1033
01:26:48,032 --> 01:26:51,171
and they got a shit load of guards
and they all know kung fu and
1034
01:26:51,535 --> 01:26:52,169
Ok, ok.
1035
01:26:52,369 --> 01:26:55,508
We've got to get the other heroes
of Tromaville and storm the hospital!
1036
01:26:55,706 --> 01:26:56,507
They're all dead.
1037
01:26:59,210 --> 01:27:00,779
All of them?
Yep.
1038
01:27:02,146 --> 01:27:03,281
Even Dolphin Man?
1039
01:27:03,480 --> 01:27:04,448
Oh yeah.
1040
01:27:08,986 --> 01:27:10,621
Alright, well then it's
up to the two of us.
1041
01:27:11,155 --> 01:27:12,290
C'mon, let's go.
1042
01:27:15,659 --> 01:27:18,631
Ok, I'll catch up with ya.
I'll be right there. Just gonna
1043
01:27:21,832 --> 01:27:22,633
What's your name?
1044
01:27:22,833 --> 01:27:24,469
Sweetie Honey.
I’m a big girl too.
1045
01:27:26,337 --> 01:27:28,975
Oh yes you are, Here would you
like a drink?
1046
01:28:09,979 --> 01:28:10,948
Yes, fight my son, Fight!
1047
01:28:15,319 --> 01:28:16,120
How long!?
1048
01:28:16,653 --> 01:28:17,621
I’m not sure.
1049
01:28:19,323 --> 01:28:22,629
Very well. If you need me I'll be
in the snack bar having nachos.
1050
01:28:39,676 --> 01:28:41,312
Kazinsky, we may have a problem.
1051
01:28:42,679 --> 01:28:44,149
What is it?
I’m due for my nose job.
1052
01:28:45,182 --> 01:28:46,317
I think Toxie's good again!
1053
01:28:47,684 --> 01:28:48,652
What misfortune.
1054
01:28:49,519 --> 01:28:52,993
Toxie, come in! Videhauffer says
you've turned good again!
1055
01:28:53,056 --> 01:28:54,492
What the hell is that?
1056
01:28:54,691 --> 01:28:55,993
Go check it out.
1057
01:28:56,860 --> 01:29:00,167
And make sure whatever he's talking
about doesn't make it to this floor!
1058
01:30:03,026 --> 01:30:03,994
I've gotta find Sarah!
1059
01:30:05,529 --> 01:30:07,833
lf there only were a giant map
like they have at the mall.
1060
01:30:08,031 --> 01:30:08,999
Tromaville Hospital!
1061
01:30:10,701 --> 01:30:11,669
Oh hello
1062
01:30:12,869 --> 01:30:14,004
let's see, I’m in here
1063
01:30:15,038 --> 01:30:16,006
and Noxie is here
1064
01:30:19,209 --> 01:30:20,345
and uh let's see here
1065
01:30:21,211 --> 01:30:23,683
armed guards that want
to kill me are here.
1066
01:30:58,081 --> 01:30:59,384
Oh No! Now I've got AIDS!
1067
01:32:12,856 --> 01:32:13,824
I've got to get out of here.
1068
01:32:14,024 --> 01:32:14,992
I've got to get out of here.
1069
01:32:17,528 --> 01:32:18,328
Toxie.
1070
01:32:23,700 --> 01:32:26,337
You blew up a school filled
with special children.
1071
01:32:28,371 --> 01:32:29,507
What's inside your head?
1072
01:32:31,542 --> 01:32:33,344
Let's find out shall we?
1073
01:32:38,549 --> 01:32:39,517
No, Toxie, no!
1074
01:32:46,723 --> 01:32:47,524
Sarah!
1075
01:32:47,724 --> 01:32:48,525
Sarah!
1076
01:32:51,562 --> 01:32:52,530
Yeah, I fucked her.
1077
01:32:54,565 --> 01:32:54,865
No.
1078
01:34:48,544 --> 01:34:51,683
Not only am I gonna kill you,
I’m gonna rape your virgin ass first.
1079
01:34:53,382 --> 01:34:53,851
No!
1080
01:35:58,214 --> 01:36:00,953
I don't have to fill my body
with plastics and silicone!
1081
01:36:04,653 --> 01:36:05,622
My eye is real!
1082
01:36:06,990 --> 01:36:07,256
Doink!
1083
01:36:08,824 --> 01:36:09,792
My dick is real!
1084
01:36:13,829 --> 01:36:15,967
And my colon is real
and my large intestine is real.
1085
01:36:18,667 --> 01:36:19,971
And my pancreas is real!
1086
01:36:22,838 --> 01:36:24,141
And my duodenal ulcer is real!
1087
01:36:25,674 --> 01:36:26,643
Most importantly
1088
01:36:33,182 --> 01:36:34,485
so is my heart.
1089
01:36:58,041 --> 01:36:58,674
Stewy?
1090
01:37:00,643 --> 01:37:00,943
Bozo?
1091
01:37:03,646 --> 01:37:04,447
Melvin?
1092
01:37:06,149 --> 01:37:06,782
Melvin?
1093
01:37:07,317 --> 01:37:07,950
I’m you.
1094
01:37:08,651 --> 01:37:09,285
I’m you.
1095
01:37:10,653 --> 01:37:11,955
Gimme a hug!
Oh Melvin.
1096
01:37:12,822 --> 01:37:13,790
Oh you're beautiful.
1097
01:37:22,665 --> 01:37:23,967
Sorry sorry sorry sorry.
1098
01:37:26,001 --> 01:37:29,308
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
1099
01:37:31,841 --> 01:37:33,144
What is wrong with you?
1100
01:37:34,009 --> 01:37:36,981
That's what's wrong with me.
I’m from the other side.
1101
01:37:37,680 --> 01:37:39,316
Don't you know that?
1102
01:37:41,684 --> 01:37:42,652
Gimme some!
No.
1103
01:37:44,854 --> 01:37:45,655
That's it.
1104
01:38:03,806 --> 01:38:05,943
I'll be back, mother-fucker!
If there's a sequel
1105
01:38:08,978 --> 01:38:10,114
I'll be back!
1106
01:38:21,324 --> 01:38:22,626
Sarah, it's ok honey, I’m here.
1107
01:38:25,328 --> 01:38:26,963
Oh Melvin, I’m so glad you're back.
1108
01:38:36,839 --> 01:38:37,640
Doctors!
1109
01:38:38,341 --> 01:38:39,476
ls there a doctor in the house?
1110
01:38:40,343 --> 01:38:40,810
Anyone, someone?
1111
01:38:41,844 --> 01:38:42,645
Oh my God
1112
01:38:42,845 --> 01:38:43,813
she's hemorrhaging!
1113
01:38:46,349 --> 01:38:47,484
No no, this is just dick tissue.
1114
01:38:50,353 --> 01:38:51,153
Hello? Hello?
1115
01:38:53,689 --> 01:38:54,490
Baby?
1116
01:38:55,691 --> 01:38:55,891
Tonight at 1 1 , bad Toxie goes out
good Toxie in.
1117
01:38:58,694 --> 01:39:00,764
And congratulations Toxie,
we heard it's a boy.
1118
01:39:01,464 --> 01:39:02,599
Hey, all right.
Also at 1 1
1119
01:39:03,131 --> 01:39:04,268
our very own Josh Levinsky
1120
01:39:04,800 --> 01:39:07,772
will be taking some of our local
super heroes shopping for tights.
1121
01:39:14,310 --> 01:39:16,280
He's a beautiful, big,
bouncing baby boy!
1122
01:39:17,480 --> 01:39:18,615
Sixty pounds and four ounces.
1123
01:39:21,650 --> 01:39:22,786
Oh, he is beautiful.
1124
01:39:24,320 --> 01:39:25,455
He looks just like you!
1125
01:39:30,659 --> 01:39:31,795
Toxie.
Oh, hey Ms. Wiener.
1126
01:39:32,495 --> 01:39:35,801
I just really wanted to thank you
for saving me and my beautiful baby
1127
01:39:37,333 --> 01:39:38,133
Laqueesha.
1128
01:39:40,503 --> 01:39:41,638
She looks just like her mother.
1129
01:39:43,339 --> 01:39:46,143
And I've also brought the special
students in to thank you, too.
1130
01:39:46,675 --> 01:39:47,644
Come on in kids.
1131
01:39:50,513 --> 01:39:50,980
Hey Sweetie.
1132
01:39:51,680 --> 01:39:52,482
Toxie
1133
01:39:52,681 --> 01:39:54,652
we made this award for you
cause you're an alumnus
1134
01:39:55,518 --> 01:39:57,488
of the Tromaville School
for the Very Special
1135
01:39:59,355 --> 01:40:00,490
and you're very special.
1136
01:40:03,025 --> 01:40:03,993
Wow. Thanks kids.
1137
01:40:05,861 --> 01:40:08,666
And Toxie, I want you to have
the blanky for the baby,
1138
01:40:10,866 --> 01:40:12,836
cause I’m a very big girl now
and I don't need it.
1139
01:40:14,370 --> 01:40:15,003
Are you sure?
1140
01:40:15,538 --> 01:40:16,673
Just ask Sgt. Kabukiman.
1141
01:40:19,375 --> 01:40:20,343
Hey hey hey!
1142
01:40:21,377 --> 01:40:23,347
Hey! Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD,
my best friend.
1143
01:40:23,546 --> 01:40:24,347
How ya feelin'?
1144
01:40:24,547 --> 01:40:25,180
Not too bad.
1145
01:40:25,881 --> 01:40:28,686
Doctors say my arm and leg should
be healed in a couple of weeks.
1146
01:40:29,051 --> 01:40:31,356
I just can't wait to get the
stitches removed from my anus.
1147
01:40:31,720 --> 01:40:33,524
Anus anus anus anus anus anus!
1148
01:40:40,396 --> 01:40:41,029
Knock knock.
1149
01:40:41,231 --> 01:40:44,937
Pompey, you got a new body,
you're just not a head anymore.
1150
01:40:45,750 --> 01:40:50,870
Buddy I don't know who Pompey is, but you gonna
talk about bodies now you got some body on you!
1151
01:40:52,575 --> 01:40:54,712
Now we could talk about head
and all that stuff later,
1152
01:40:55,411 --> 01:40:57,380
but are you ready to meet your
other new child?
1153
01:40:58,414 --> 01:40:59,549
Wait a minute, another child?
1154
01:40:59,915 --> 01:41:01,818
The evil baby!
1155
01:41:02,852 --> 01:41:05,824
I think a child is as much a product
of his environment as anything.
1156
01:41:06,355 --> 01:41:08,325
And I think we have enough love to
raise any kid as a good kid.
1157
01:41:09,692 --> 01:41:11,161
Well, if you think so, Melvin.
1158
01:41:15,698 --> 01:41:17,333
Yeah, a real American family
for the new millennium.
1159
01:41:17,700 --> 01:41:18,501
Awesome!
1160
01:41:21,704 --> 01:41:22,672
Now let's take a peek.
1161
01:41:32,715 --> 01:41:33,516
What?
1162
01:41:34,717 --> 01:41:35,518
What?
1163
01:41:39,722 --> 01:41:40,690
Hey, cute kid.
1164
01:41:42,391 --> 01:41:43,025
Uh-oh.
1165
01:41:44,059 --> 01:41:45,361
Toxie, Toxie, I can explain.
1166
01:41:47,897 --> 01:41:49,032
I was drunk, she was tied down.
1167
01:41:51,400 --> 01:41:52,368
I forgot to zip up.
1168
01:41:54,570 --> 01:41:55,370
Alright, later.
1169
01:42:18,026 --> 01:42:19,496
Due to the depletion of the ozone layer
1170
01:42:20,028 --> 01:42:21,832
and the careless dumping of
hazardous nuclear waste
1171
01:42:23,866 --> 01:42:25,836
thousands of people
find themselves trapped
1172
01:42:27,202 --> 01:42:30,676
in an evil parallel universe every year
and the numbers are rising.
1173
01:42:41,383 --> 01:42:44,690
This film is respectfully dedicated
to those who have lost their lives
1174
01:42:47,723 --> 01:42:49,192
facing down their own
evil doppelgangers.
1175
01:42:59,401 --> 01:43:02,808
So if you find yourself thrust into an
alternate reality look to the horizon
1176
01:43:05,841 --> 01:43:09,648
One hideously deformed creature of
superhuman size and strength
1177
01:43:10,512 --> 01:43:11,480
will be there.
1178
01:43:12,347 --> 01:43:15,152
Yes dear reader he'll be there.
He's the Toxic Avenger.
1179
01:43:17,519 --> 01:43:20,324
And please don't forget to recycle
your bottles and cans.
1180
01:48:39,341 --> 01:48:39,474
This just in Jesus out, Satan in.
1181
01:48:41,510 --> 01:48:43,480
And I for one worship the dark lord.
Really?
1182
01:48:43,678 --> 01:48:44,479
Yeah I do,
1183
01:48:45,514 --> 01:48:46,649
You guys get together
and have worship?
1184
01:48:47,516 --> 01:48:48,985
We do. Actually this Sunday we're
having a calf slaughtering
1185
01:48:49,183 --> 01:48:50,319
at the ninety second street Y,
1186
01:48:51,520 --> 01:48:53,657
and our very own Josh Levinsky
will be running a cake walk
1187
01:48:53,855 --> 01:48:54,990
and then we're going to sacrifice him.
1188
01:48:55,857 --> 01:48:56,691
Really?
Yeah.
1189
01:48:56,691 --> 01:48:57,325
That's amazing.
86549
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