All language subtitles for The.Life.Aquatic.With.Steve.Zissou.2004.1080p.HUL

(speaking Italian)

(applause)

The Obiamiwe Peninsula,

a remote and fascinating region

teeming with
extraordinary marine life.

We chose its mysterious waters

as the Belafonte's
next destination.

In preparation
for our voyage,

the members of Team Zissou

gathered at my
oceanographic observatory

here on Pescespada Island.

This was to be our most
ambitious adventure to date

and ultimately, a tragic one.

Our team included
Esteban du Plantier,
chief diver.

Our senior statesman,

my closest colleague
for 27 years.

Klaus Daimler, 40,
engineer.

Calm, collected German.

Vikram Ray, 28,
cameraman.

Born on the Ganges.

Bobby Ogata, 22, frogman.

Renzo Pietro, 45,
editor, soundman.

Vladimir Wolodarsky, 33,

physicist,
original score composer.

Anne‐Marie Sakowitz, 25,
script girl.

Pelé dos Santos, 30,
safety expert.

Eleanor Zissou, my wife,

vice‐president
of the Zissou Society.

We had also invited
seven marine science students

from the University
of North Alaska

to accompany us
as unpaid interns

in exchange
for school credit.

October 12th.

Esteban and I
explore the blue reefs

beyond the peninsula.

Fluorescent snapper
unexpectedly appear
in the shallows,

extremely rare
at this depth.

Where's your gun?

Steve? Steve?

Where's Esteban?

Is that thing rolling,
Vikram?

Check the scanning monitor.

Start tracking it
before it goes too deep!

Esteban was bitten?
Eaten!

Is he dead?

Esteban was eaten.
He was swallowed whole?

No! Chewed.
Check the scanning monitor!

He's got
hydrogen psychosis...

"crazy eye."

Steve, we think
you got crazy eye.

Get him out
of the fucking water.

Esteban!

Esteban! Esteban!

Esteban!

Esteban!

Steve!
Esteban!

Esteban!

Esteban!

Esteban!

(speaks Italian)

Was it a deliberate choice

never to show
the jaguar shark?

No, I dropped the camera.

(laughter)

(speaks Italian)
(laughter)

Why are they laughing?

(speaks Italian)

Yes. What's next
for Team Zissou?

Well, that was
only part one.

It's a cliffhanger.

Now I'm gonna go
hunt down that shark,

or whatever it is,

and hopefully kill it.

I don't know how yet.
Maybe dynamite.

(murmuring)
You don't know
what it is?

No, I've never seen
anything like it
before in my life.

You say it is a jaguar shark.
That's the title of your film.

It was coming
right at us.

I just said the first two
words that came into my head.

(speaks French)

That's an endangered species
at most.

What would be
the scientific purpose

of killing it?

Revenge.

Bravo. What fun.

Steve, I like
to introduce you
to Antonia Cook.

She's the new head
of the film society.

You must be
so excited.

I hope so.
You think it went OK?

No. Congratulations,
seriously.

Thanks. I wish it didn't
require the "seriously,"
but thank you.

Well, I just don't think
they got it.

Steve...
Good turnout tonight.

...you know Larry Amin,
chairman of Saudi Film.
Oh, yeah. Hi.

Larry and I were discussing
our financial predicament.

I thought it would be nice
if the three of us

rode out
to the party together,
just the three of us.

Why? Does Larry have
that kind of spending bread
to invest?

The king's backing him now...
I just got $500 million
capitalization from the king.

Captain Zissou,
can I get a shot of you
with Captain Hennessey?

Where?

Make it quick.

Hey, Steven.
How's everything going
with your...

What are you calling it?
Leopard fish?

Jaguar shark.
Jaguar shark. Exactly.

I love it.
Tell me something.

Does it actually exist?

You know, Ali, I don't want
to give away the ending.

Good man.

Oh, here comes our girl.

You're the most
ravishing creature

that I've ever seen
in my life.

Hello, skinny.
Hello, Eleanor.

Is that a new merit badge?

Oh, yeah,
as a matter of fact, it is.

I just became a knight
in Portugal.

The presidente
gave a special ball...

Don't be nice to Ali.
He's my nemesis.

How could you lay
that slick faggot?

Well, I was
in love with him
at the time.

Yeah, he's charismatic.

How are you feeling?

I'm right on the edge.

I don't know
what comes next.

Wait here.
I'll be right back.

I just wanted
to say hello. Hi.

Hey, baby.

I said I wanted
to say hello.

I didn't say
I wanted you to touch me.

I'm here with my wife.
Eleanor, this is Mendeeza.

Do we really want
to put me through this?

People say
Eleanor is the brains
behind Team Zissou.

What is Steve?

(laughs)

He's the Zissou.

(interview continuing)

Steve, this is
my little nephew Werner.

He wanted to meet you.

How you doing, Werner?

He brought you a present.

A crayon pony fish.

Wow.

Interesting specimen.

Thanks, pal.

You're welcome.

Steve...

you don't look too good.

How's this?

Steve, there's a bloke over
there wants a word with you.

What do you need, old man?
(speaking Italian)

How many of these
do you have?

All right, look,

just forge the rest of them
yourself, all right?

Get outta here.

Hey, Steve, how come
you're not sitting shivah
for your friend Esteban?

What'd you say?

Who you gonna kill
in part two?

(crowd gasps)
Steve.

(Steve) Ow!

(♪ guitar)

(singing "Ziggy Stardust"
in Portuguese)

Larry Amin's flying
back to Mecca tonight,

see if he can make
the numbers work.

He should have an answer
for us in ten days.

Tell him we need to know
by Sunday.

Why would I do that,
my darling?

To call his bluff, damn it,
to light a fire under his ass.

My darling, we haven't
made a hit documentary
in nine years.

Let's not fuck
with Larry Amin.

Doubles.
Explain it to him,
will you, Eleanor?

Screwdriver.
He understands.

Amin needs to make
a projection of
the world grosses

to see if he can get
a tax break and run it
through his output deal.

I don't understand,
but I can tell
it's bullshit.

Oh, what the hell
is going on?

Play the black jack
on the red queen.

(generator whirs)

Well, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna go
on an overnight drunk,

and in ten days,
I'm gonna set out

to find the shark
that ate my friend
and destroy it.

Anyone that would care to
join me is more than welcome.

Captain Zissou,
I'm sorry to bother you.

I'm Ned Plimpton.

OK, man.

My mother's
Catherine Plimpton.

You're kidding.

No.

How is she?

She died last month.

I'm sorry. Shit.

She was...

Hmm.

I've heard of you.

I don't know
if it's true or not,
by the way. Do you?

No, I don't.

I haven't heard from her
in 30 years.

I guess it's too late now.

She never contacted me,
you know.

Yes, I see.

You're supposed to be
my son, right?

I don't know,

but I did want to meet you,

just in case.

I appreciate that.

I'll be right back.
Don't go away?

(David Bowie)
♪ Sailors

♪ Fighting in the dance hall

♪ Oh, man,
look at those cave men go

♪ It's the freakiest show

♪ Take a look at the lawman

♪ Beating up the wrong guy

♪ Oh, man, wonder
if he'll ever know

♪ He's in the best‐selling show

♪ Is there life on Mars? ♪

Sorry about that.

You caught me with one foot
off the merry‐go‐round tonight.

Oh, that's all right.
I don't wanna take up
too much of your time,

and I wanna thank you
for talking to me and...

We'll find a way, mate.
I know we will.

I just had a lovely chat
with Sy Perlman.

He wants to make a big to‐do

of the Oceanographic Explorer
article,

possibly give you
the front cover,

so do be nice to this girl

Miss Winslett‐Richardson,
won't you?

Apparently, she worships you,

and we dearly need the press.

Oseary, this is probably
my son Ned.

We just met.

Ah. Oh, how delightful.

Hello.

Anyway,
his mother just died.

Plus, we're having
some problems.

I just think it'd be
a very special opportunity

for all of us,
especially him.

He needs this deal.
OK, bring him over.

Well, he's right here.

I'm sorry.
How do you do?

(Pelé) ♪ Ch‐Ch‐Ch‐Ch‐Changes...

So what do you do?

I'm a pilot.
Air Kentucky.

Air Kentucky.
Copilot, actually.

Yeah, I don't know
that one.

We hub out of Louisville.

Well, sure, there's
some pretty country

in those parts.

Landlocked.

I have to tell you

I've been a member
of the Zissou Society
since I was 11.

Well, I'll be damned.
Look at that.

Wanna kill this?

Frankly, I better not.

I don't usually try grass.

♪ Ch‐Ch‐Ch‐Ch‐Changes... ♪

Let me tell you about my boat.

The Belafonte
was a long‐range subhunter

during the Second World War,

which we bought
from the U. S. Navy
for $900,000.

This is my mentor
Lord Mandrake.

He's dead now.

The sauna was designed

by an engineer
from the Chinese space program,

and we keep a Swedish masseuse
on staff.

Here's where we do all our
different science projects

and experiments and so on.

This is the kitchen,
which contains probably

some of the most
technologically advanced
equipment on the ship.

Eleanor put together a top‐notch
research library for us,

with a complete
first‐edition set

of The Life Aquatic
Companion Series.

We process our own rushes
and keep a cutting room
on board

so we can do an assembly
while we're shooting.

I can't find them.
Once again, please.

This is
the observation bubble,

which I thought up
in a dream, actually.

Two albino scouts
swim with the ship.

They're supposedly
very intelligent,

although I've never seen
any evidence of it.

Here's the engine room.

The bearing casings aren't
supposed to look like that,

but we can't afford
to fix 'em this year.

Topside we've got the bridge,
the minisub, an old chopper

and all kinds
of radar and sonar

and underwater movie gadgets.

(Ned) What happened
to Jacqueline?

She didn't really love me.

Lord Mandrake.

It's wonderful.
Very lifelike.

I'm not crazy about it.

This guy's
a big‐time asshole.

We were roommates
at the Academy.

He used to be married
to Eleanor.

He hogs up
all the grant money.

You think you'll want
to change your name?

Ned?

No, not the Ned part,
unless you want to.

I meant your last name.

I thought you might like
to let me give you mine.

Ned Zissou?

Ned Zissou. Exactly.

Or if you want to,
you can change
the first part, too.

I would have
named you Kingsley
if I'd had a say in it.

Kingsley.

I don't know.

Maybe I'll stick with Ned
for now.

Sure. That's OK.

Anyway, I'll order you
some correspondence stock.

What are you doing?
I ordered the wine.

Pour it over here, please.
He doesn't know anything
about wine.

(men speaking Italian)

Are those assholes
talking about me?

People say when someone
says something like that
about you,

it's because they're jealous,

but it still hurts.

It hurts bad.

That man was damn rude.
He can go straight to hell.

How did she die, by the way,
your mother?

She took her own life.

She took sleeping pills.

Why would she do that?

Well, she was in
a great deal of pain,
you know.

Oh.

I see, yeah.

You know, my best friend
just got killed... Esteban.

Yeah, I know.

The old man.

Let's go to my island.

Well, I...

I have to be
back in Kentucky
on Thursday.

Thursday? OK.

That's OK.

(Pelé singing "Rebel Rebel"
in Portuguese)

Your cat's dead.

What? Which one?

Marmalade.
I'm sorry.

What happened?

A rattlesnake bit it
in the throat.

Goddamn it, Eleanor,
why do you have to
say it like that?

You couldn't try to break it
a little bit nicer?

She's a rich bitch,
you know.

She was raised by maids.

Her parents paid for this island
and two of my worst movies.

People say she's the brains
behind Team Zissou.

People say a lot of things.

What kind of cat was it?

Who gives a shit?
I think it was a tabby.

Ned? Wanna come inside,
we'll make up a room for you?

Steve,
that reporter called.

(Steve) Ned, wake up.

Yes.
I'm on the echo box.

Push the red button
to answer.

Throw on your slob
and meet me on the beach
in 12 minutes.

The white button? OK.

Action!

Only twice before
have I had the good fortune

to observe a rubber tide,

that rare occurrence
when hundreds
of electric jellyfish

spontaneously wash
onto a beachhead at once.

Bobby Ogata
brings exactly this

to our attention
tonight.

Steve, what produces
this effect of illumination?

Is there a chemical
inside the organism?

No, Ned. Actually,
it's the reflection
of the moonlight

on their outer membranes.

That's a very good ad lib.

Klaus, come over here
and get a two‐shot
of me and Ned.

Ned, come in here.

Would you like
to join my crew?

Would I like to...
I want you
on Team Zissou.

I don't think
I can do that.
Why not?

Well, it's not my field.

I don't have
the background for it.

No one here does.

Klaus used to be
a bus driver.

Wolodarsky was
a high‐school
substitute teacher.

We're a pack of strays.
Don't you get it?

Steve, I'm not even
that strong a swimmer.

The answer's yes.

Well, it's got to be.

I'll order you a red cap
and a Speedo.

Cut. Klaus,
why aren't you rolling?

Could I have a word
with you, please?

(Steve) Why aren't you
getting this?

That was
a goddamn tearjerker.

Why did you cut it, man?

Because the sound
is going to be shit.

He doesn't even know
how to hold a boom.

He doesn't know diddly‐jack
about what we're doing.

Don't cut
unless I say cut.

I've never seen
so many electric jellyfish
in all my life.

Those are Vietcong
man‐of‐wars.

Oh, shit, she's right.

I guess we'll have to
loop that line.

Where'd you come from?
You look pregnant.

I am pregnant.
I'm not even going to ask

what you men
are doing out here

in your matching pajamas,
by the way.

We're producing a film,
as a matter of fact.
Who are you?

I'm Jane Winslett‐Richardson.

I'm the reporter from
the Oceanographic Explorer.

Oh, yeah, sure.
How'd you get out here?

I hired some drunk
in a fishing boat.

That would take four hours.
Why would you do that?

Because no one picked me up
at the effing airport.

Jesus Christ, Klaus.

One of my guys
was supposed to do that.

How long have you
been working with Zissou?

Uh, approximately...

Only ten minutes,
actually.

I was hired during
the scene on the beach.

He's Steve's son,
supposedly.
You are?

No, you're not.
He doesn't have one.

Well, we're not 100% sure
about that yet.

We just met yesterday.

Not this one, Klaus.
Hmm?

You heard me.
Not this one.

OK.

First thing
in the morning, huh?
Just print everything?

Yeah, tell him to push it
a stop and a half.
OK.

What are you gonna do
with him?

Who?

Ned? What do you mean?

I don't understand
the question.

I offered him a spot
on the Belafonte.

He didn't take it, did he?

Of course he took it.

We're gonna put him
on the map, Eleanor.

We're gonna throw him
a life preserver.

I believe in this boy.
Why?

Because he looks up to me.

Yes, sir, and McKennan's willing
to take over my shuttle flights.

That's right.

Well, I just feel I need to
see this thing through, sir.

Thank you for understanding.

I'll check in
with the Louisville office
again next month.

(♪ piano on radio)

(Jane) "...as I have not,
as they say,

"enough power of observation

"to isolate
their sense of color.

"For a long time afterwards,
whenever I thought of her,

"the memory
of those bright eyes

"would at once
present itself to me
as a vivid azure...

"so much so that perhaps
if her eyes had not been
quite so black,

"which was what struck one
most forcibly

"on first meeting her,

"I should not have been,
as I was,

so especially enamored
of their imagined blue."

Hold it.

That's poetry?

No, it's a six‐volume novel.

Oh, so you're gonna read
that whole thing to yourself
out loud.

I'm not reading it to myself,
I'm reading it to him.

When did you learn
Zissou was your father?

Does it freak you out
for me to ask that?

No, it doesn't,
but it's a difficult question.

I sort of pieced it together
over the years.

Well, how did he
first contact you?

He didn't.

I went looking for him
last month

after my mother died.

She had ovarian cancer,

then it spread
to her stomach and liver,

and she took her own life.

Oh.

Well, good night, I guess.

Oh, good night.

You mind if I stay and listen
for a little while?

OK.

(clears throat)

Do you want me
to catch you up
on the story?

No, I'll be able
to figure it out.

I'll just catch as catch can.

They made these
for about...

three and a half years
before they terminated
my sponsorship.

These are great.

May I turn this on?
Fire one.

So what happened,
in your opinion?

What are you talking about?

Don't you think public
perception of your work

has significantly altered
in the last five years?

That's your first question?
I thought this was supposed
to be a puff piece.

Should we come back
to it?

Yeah.

OK.

Is it true
that this is going to be
your last voyage?

Wow. No comment.

Who told you that?

No, goddamn it. I'm only 52.

How about we start out
with some stock dialogue?

You know,
favorite color... blue.

Favorite food... sardines.

How do you feel
about part one
of your new film?

Why? How do you feel
about part one of my new film?

Well, I'm honest,
you know, so...
Just say it.

I thought aspects of it
seemed slightly fake.

Wolodarsky...

I'll take five, Steve.
...how about taking five?

Did it seem fake

when my best friend
was bitten in half
right in front of me,

then eaten alive, screaming?

I think you're a fake.

I think you're a phony

and a bad reporter.

How does that feel?

Now tell me something...

Does this seem fake?

How dare you.

This entire article
was my idea.

No one else gives a shit.

What about Sy Perlman?

Are you joking?

He's not even covering
my expenses.

You're taking
something out on me.

(sniffs)

Stop crying.

What's the deal here?

I was only trying
to defend myself.

Well, you did a great job.

(turns recorder on)
I'm sure you'll make
a terrific father.

So... you really think
you're a Zissou?

I don't know.

You traveled a long way
for "I don't know," sonny.

That's true,

but it's important
to me.

Ja, well, there are
a lot of things

that are important
to some people
around here, sonny.

Klaus, don't call me sonny.
One more thing.

It's the Steve Zissou show,
not the Ned show.

You hear me?

Yes, I do.

Klaus!

Ja?

If you ever touch me again,

I will kick your
goddamned teeth out,
is that understood?

Not if I don't
see you first, sonny.

We gotta watch ourselves
around this Jane character.

Don't tell her
anything personal.

If you're not sure
about something,

change the subject
and look for me.

This bull dyke's
got something against us.

I don't think
she's a lesbian.
She's pregnant.

Bull dykes
can get pregnant.

Anyway, I'd back out now,
but we need the press.

See you in the morning.

Steve?

Hmm?

When'd you first
hear about me?

About five years ago.

I read it in an article
about myself.

Did you believe it?

It was in the paper.

I assumed they...
checked their facts.

Why didn't you contact me?

Because I hate fathers,
and I never wanted
to be one.

I forgot.

Your correspondence stock
came in.

(answering machine beeps)

Hi, Ross. Started today.

I'll forward some pages to you
through the copy department.

You're probably right, though.

(Pelé singing,
playing guitar)

What am I doing here?

I miss you and...

Oh, God, I don't know, Ross.

Where are you?

Listen, I'm not leaving
this message.

Don't even know why
I'm still pregnant.

(hangs up)

The script girl uses these
for continuity.

Here.
Oh, no, no, no.

No exceptions.
Everyone gets one.

Anne‐Marie,
do the interns get Glocks?

No, they all share one.

Take it, Ned.

Steve!
What?

Whack on the echo box.

Zissou here.

(Klaus) Steve,

Oseary Drakoulias
on line two.

Yeah?

I spoke
with Larry Amin,

and it's a pass.

In other words,
you fucked us.

Let's not cast stones
at one another, my boy.

Do you hear me, damn it?
Do you?!
No, I don't!

I told you how to play it!
Bloody hell.
Listen here, mate...

May I interrupt
for a moment?

Who the blazes is that?

It's me... Ned.

Maybe this is nothing,
maybe it's something.

I don't know your problems.
I don't know...

But I just inherited
$275,000.

Would that amount
make any difference?

What sort of expression

is the lad wearing
on his face?

Can you fly a chopper?

I have, but I'm
certainly not licensed
in any way, shape or form.

Great. Let's go.

(metal clanks)

When was this whirlybird
last serviced?

I don't know.

Klaus is supposed to check it
every six months.

You're back
on the water, boys.

The wire transfer
came straight through
from Kentucky,

and Jackman and Worsley

are going to
gap‐finance the rest.

But we have a few hooks on it,
so take a pew for a spell.

Number one,
the bank want a drug screen
for everyone on the crew

before they'll forward
the money.

A piss test?
Yes, a piss test.

Two, a stooge
from the bond company

will be riding everywhere
during the whole shoot

to keep you on budget.
Who's the stooge?

A chap by the name
of Bill Ubell,

and there's not a damn thing
you can do about that, Steve.

Three, you must swear,
legally swear,

that you'll not kill that shark,
or whatever it is,

if it actually exists.

I'm going to fight it,
but I'll let it live.

What about my dynamite?

Phillip, dynamite.

I'm off to Zurich.
Follow me, chaps.

Mr. Ubell, I'd like for you
to know Steve Zissou

and our equity partner Ned.

I hope you're not gonna
bust our chops, Bill.

Why would I do that?

Because you're
a bond company stooge.

Well, I'm also
a human being.

All right,
I take that back.

Yeah.

Let's have
some teamsmanship.

Ho!

1, 2, 3.

Come on.

(blowing)

1, 2, 3.

Attaboy. Attaboy.

Here he is.
Here he is.

Come on.
You OK, Ned? You OK?

All right, all right.
Give him some room.
He's OK.

He just drank
a little too much water.

(clicks)

How are you shooting this,
Vikram? Wide open?

Light, 5/6.

(laughs)

(sighs)

(Steve, narrating)
As always,

even in the most challenging
circumstances,

the members of Team Zissou

find ways
to keep morale high.

(all cheering)

Wait. Hold it.

Is that a distress bark?

Is something wounded
out there?

(narrating)
We quickly locate the source
of the mysterious cry.

What is she, Steve?

A wild snow mongoose.

We thought
they were extinct.

Her ankle's broken.
Ogata?
Yeah.

Run and get some hot milk

and put these guys
in the incubator.

(narrating) We radio for
the emergency transport

of our rare
beautiful new friends.

That's what
it used to be like.

(shoes squeak)

(♪ guitar)

(birds chirping)

(Eleanor) Had Ned's heart
stopped beating

before you pulled him
out of the water?

Had Ned's heart
stopped beating

before we pulled him
out of the water?

Yes, but we got him
started again pretty quickly.

Don't go on this voyage
right now, Steve.

One of you is already dead,
after all.

Who?

Oh, you mean Esteban?

Thanks for bringing that up.

Who's gonna tell us
the Latin names

of all the fishes
and everything?

You know I can't remember
all that shit.

Please stop, Eleanor.
Eleanor, stop.

Why are you leaving?

Because I don't want
to be a part

of whatever's
gonna happen out there.

Nobody knows
what's going to happen,
and then we film it.

That's the whole concept.

That's how
we've always done it.

I can't believe
you took that boy's money.

He's an investor.

He's my sidekick.

The sugar crabs are back.

They're early this year.

I've never seen them mating
before the solstice.

Is that mating?

Goodbye, Steve.

Don't say that.

Even if it's true...
don't say that.

It's too painful.

What do you want me
to say?

Say bon voyage.

Bon voyage.

(♪ Pelé singing in Portuguese,
playing guitar)

♪ Woo‐oo ♪

(Steve)
Kingsley Ned Zissou, 29,

junior‐grade diving tech,
executive producer.

Energetic,
spirited, youthful.

Normally we would track
the jaguar shark

with the scanning monitor
we keep on board the Belafonte,

but its power tubes
have seized up
and blown a gasket.

We now proceed
to the more advanced system

located on a colleague's
offshore facility.

This will be
Team Zissou's next stop.

See, Renzo, this is
what I'm talking about...

a relationship subplot.

There's chemistry
between us, you know?

Huh?

Here's a quote.
Wait up. Who from?

"Zissou has an almost
magical connection

"to the life of the sea.

"He speaks its language
fluently.

I've never met
a boy like that
in all my life."

Lord Mandrake.

You should have opened
with that one.

He was your mentor.

Hey, intern, get me
a Campari, will ya?

On the rocks?

(snaps fingers)

You wanna go up
in my balloon?

I like her hairdo.

Me too, but Steve
called it first.

I'm sorry I made you cry
the other day.

Oh. That's OK.

It's not completely
your fault anyway.

I'm going through
some personal problems.

Really?
What do you got?

Well, I'm...
five months pregnant.

My editor's the father.
He's married, but...

not to me.

Wow. That's a rough ticket.

You know, my first wife left me
when I was your age.

What's Deep Search?

My submarine.

I had this exact image
of you

tacked up on the wall
above my aquarium

all through primary school.

Oh, yeah? You mean,
the official photograph,
where I'm doing this?

That's the one.

Mm‐hmm.

Well, maybe it's just me,

but I don't feel
like that person.

I never did.

(Joan Baez, on radio)
♪ Here's to you,
Nicola and Bart

♪ Rest forever
here in our hearts

♪ The last and final
moment is yours...

Why did you abandon Ned?

I didn't.
I never even met him.

What kind of piece
are you writing, Cubby?

Are you gonna screw us
on this deal?

I hope not.

(spits)

♪ Here's to you,
Nicola and Bart

♪ Rest for...

You really think it's cool
to hit the sauce

when you got
a bun in the oven?

Pelé, bring us
back down, please.

(gas blows)

♪ ...is your triumph

♪ Here's to... ♪

I don't have a problem
with objective reporting.

What I have a problem with

is some wombat
coming on my boat,

trying to railroad me,
you know?

Why don't you see
if you can get
one of these dolphins

to swim under the hull
and give us a look.

(tone sounding)

No. Either they can't hear us,
or they don't understand.

Son of a bitch.
I'm sick of these dolphins.

Quiet out there tonight.

Can you hear
the jack whales singing?

(foghorn sounds)

Beautiful. I wonder
what they're saying.

Well, that was the sludge tanker
over there, but...

(whales vocalizing)

There you go.

That's them.

By the way, would you mind
if I made a few modifications

to the Team Zissou insignia?

I have some ideas.
You mean the patch?

Yes. The insignia.

Yeah. It's probably
kind of dated, isn't it?

Sure. Take a crack at it.
Make it a little trendier.

All right.

Are you finding
what you were looking for

out here with me?

I hope so.

I wrote you a letter
about 17 years ago.

You mean like a fan letter?

Did I write you back?

I try to answer
as many personally as I can.

"Dear Ned Plimpton,

"First, in answer
to your question... always.

"Second, thank you very much
for naming your bug after me.

"My wife tells me
it is actually a type of gnat.

"You strike me
as a very special boy

"and a key member
of the Zissou Society.

"I wish I could
come visit you in Kentucky

"and assist you
with your work.

"I remember your mother.

"Take care of yourself,
Ned Plimpton.

"You've served well.

"Your friend,
Captain Steve Zissou.

Dictated but not read."

Yeah, more or less
standard boilerplate, I guess.

There's some real high‐tech gear
inside this deal, believe me.

First we go downstairs and
turn on that tracking system,

then, as long as the batteries
on that homing dart haven't
gone dead...

Who locked us out?
(Anne‐Marie) No one.
We're trespassing.

Steve, are we
allowed in here?

It's a scientific
community, man.

Captain,
I am required by law

to notify the bank
of any illegal activities.

Just do what you gotta do
to cover your ass, Bill.

Got it.

(alarm wailing)

Fuck! They wired it.

Klaus, go down and get me
some cable snippers.

(over PA)
This is Captain Hennessey.

You have trespassed
on a private facility.

The Coast Guard
is being alerted
via satellite.

Again, this is
Captain Hennessey.

Immediately leave the prem...

(beeping)

OK, action.

Well, look who's back
in town.

You traveled over 150 miles
since we last heard from you.

This son of a bitch
is heading for
the South Pacific.

(door opens)

Turn on your
tape recorder, Cubby.

Is it
the jaguar shark?
On the record, yes.

Cut.

Print both takes,
Vikram.

Was I
just in the film?
Yeah.

You're gonna have to
sign a release.

But you've actually
located the shark.

You better bet
your fuckin' ass we did.

All right, everybody,
we got about 25
to 30 minutes

before the Coast Guard
gets here to arrest us.

I want you all to get
Hennessey's best gear

onto the Belafonte
in 15.

You're gonna steal
his stuff?

No, we'll get it
back to him.

Interns, let's see
some hustle.

Uh, what is this, Pelé?

I don't know.
Uh, it's a map.

Steve?!
Uh‐huh?

Do you know
that you just charted us

on a course
through unprotected waters?

Yeah, we're taking
the shortcut.

But it's outside
IMU jurisdiction.

There isn't
any protection...

I know, honey.
Look at the map.

We go your way,
that's about... 4 inches.

We go my way,
it's an inch and a half.

You wanna pay
for the extra gas?

What kind of system
is this?

You have the Bernstein 9.
Just upgraded last summer.

The 9's are out
already?

Does this
do cappuccino?
Ja.

Wait a second.
Steve, this isn't
the procedure.

(metal bangs)

Steve, one of the interns
just fell down the stairs

with the main
tracking processor.

All right, just make sure
we steal the backup.

Are you listening to me?

Eleanor told me
that under no circumstances...

Shut up before you jinx us,
Anne‐Marie.

You catching
anything?

Mnh‐mnh.

Hook this up
and make me a latte.

You know, Cubby's kind of
a sucker‐maker,

but she's got some moves.

I agree.

If she wasn't a bull dyke,

I think I might have
a bit of a thing for her.

(metal clanks)

As you can see,

if the creature continues
its current migratory route,

our paths should converge
in less than four days.

I wanna get there in three.
Ogata...

Vladimir, what's this blip
right over here?

I don't know.
I've been trying
to figure that out.

We might have them both
mixed up, or it could be
the other way around.

But anyway,
we're gonna be
right on top of it

first thing
in the morning.
Hmm.

Good eye, Ned.

Thank you. Should we
investigate it?

Yeah. Let's make
a quick dive at 6am,

and we'll scope out
the phantom signal.

It's probably
just one of Hennessey's
research turtles.

I wanna be
back on the road
by lunch.

Do me a favor.

Next time you get a hot idea
in front of the reporter,

whisper it in my ear first.

Otherwise I look like kind of
a daydream Johnny, you know?

Daydream Johnny, yes.

(Jane) You let him
change your name?

Well, we changed it
together.
What was it before?

Edward Plimpton.
That's
a million times better.

Change it back, Ned.

I really don't see you
as a Kingsley Zissou.

Do you think Steve and I
have a family resemblance?

No.

I guess it doesn't
really matter anyway.

Here.

I stole it back...

and strung it
on some peppermint dental floss

in case you want to wear it
like a necklace.

(gasps)

Happy with the piece, Jane?

What are you doing in here?
Am I? No.

Put that down.

I assume I'm Mr. Z.

I'm sorry that you think
my red hat is, uh...

What's the word you use?
"...contrived."

And that...

"the Zissou of my childhood

represents all the dreams
I've come to regret"?

What? Why?

I'm going to have to start
locking my effing door.

It was locked.
I kicked it in.

Why don't you just curse,
like other people?

Because I'm trying
to get out of the habit
before I have my fucking baby.

OK. That makes sense.

Well, please clean up
your room anyway.

It looks like
a goddamn typhoon hit it.
Oh, get out.

Please don't make fun of me.
I just wanted to flirt with you.

I'll have an intern
come and fix the door.

This is a message
from the IMU Coast Guard.

Apparently some crooked fuckers
broke into my sea‐lab yesterday.

How awful.
Did they nick anything?

Uh, it doesn't say.
They probably just
trashed the place.

I'm so... pissed,
I wanna spit.

Hugo... (spits)

...tell Carl
to load my elephant gun

with buckshot.

We're gonna hunt down
these sickos.

Supposedly
Cousteau and his cronies

invented the idea
of putting walkie‐talkies
into the helmet,

but we made ours
with a special
rabbit ear on the top

so we could pipe in
some music.

(♪ synth)

Let's start
with the reverse.

OK, roll it,
Vikram.

Would it be possible for me
to address you as "Dad"
in this scene?

No. Why?

Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry.
I forgot. I'm sorry.

Where you coming from,
jack‐off? Shit.

It's not a bad impulse,
though,

some kind of nickname.

Not that one.
It's too specific.

But try to think
of something else.

Another name?

How about
"Stevesie"?

That's good.
Try it.

What were you
gonna say before?

Good luck, Stevesie.

Fantastic. Let's go.

(Steve) OK, action.

Look, Ned,

there's a sunken airplane
down there.

Let's check it out.

We examine the crash site

but are careful not to disturb
the forensic evidence.

How was that?
Not bad.

The first take
was a little faster.

(Klaus)
Is it loose?

(mutters) Klaus.

Klaus?
Ja.

May I have a word
with you, please?

What?

Why'd you do that?
Because I owed you one.

But you gave me
a warning already.

You stood up for yourself.

I still owed you one.

Now I owe you one.
No. Now we're even.

Why are you doing this?
He's not my father,
you know.

I don't have that.

What are you talkin' about?

We're even, damn it.
That's it!

No, it was like
a beat‐up little jalopy.

I don't know
what you'd call it.
You didn't see it?

I didn't see it, boss.

Well,
keep your eyes peeled.

Klaus, check who's on watch.
I'll be in the sauna.

Pelé and...

Who the shit
is Kingsley Zissou?

Is that him?

Mm‐hmm. That's him.

I've never felt a baby
in someone's stomach before.

I think you'll make
a very good single mother.

Thanks.

Although
it does put you both

at a tremendous
disadvantage.

You know...

Steve's got a little bit
of a thing for you.

Why do you say that?

Because he told me.

Really? I thought
he hated my guts.

Well, I think
you hurt his feelings,
but that doesn't mean...

He says
I hurt his feelings?

(grunts)

So... effed up.

(♪ "Space Oddity")

(singing in Portuguese)

5...

4...

3...

2...

(singing in Portuguese)

(thud)

(running footsteps)

(men shouting)

(glass shatters)

(thud)

(men shout in Filipino)

(knock on door)

(warily) Yeah?

(Klaus) Steve, would you
please open the door?

(knock on door)

Mm‐hmm?

(Steve) Jane,
is, uh, Ned in there?

(men shouting
in Filipino)

Stevesie?

Stevesie,
what's happening?

Are those hijackers?!

Well, we call them "pirates"
out here, Ned.

You were supposed to be
on watch, by the way.

Oh, my God, you're right.

Stevesie, look...
(shouting)

Whoa! No!

So tell me,
you were reading
to each other in French?

No, it's in English.
It was translated.

Well, you're not
supposed to go

into each other's cabins
on a boat.

Why not?

It's just kind of
an unwritten maritime rule

when you're at sea.

Especially
the goddamn lookout.

I'm so sorry.

So am I.

You hung us out to dry.

We don't handle this right,

we're gonna all get murdered,

including her
unborn British child.

Aah! Aah!

I'm gonna kill you
for that, asshole!

I'm gonna hit you
so fucking hard,
you'll be blind!

Please don't hurt him!

Watch me. I'll let you know
when I'm gonna make a move.

Steve, it's way safer for us
to do what they say.

They probably just want our
money and jewels and shit.

Yeah, then how I'm gonna
finish my movie, then?
Jesus. Holy fuck.

They're gonna
kill us, Steve.

I'm patting you on the back
right now, Klausy.

Don't be scared.
I'm gonna get us
through this, everybody.

Ogata. ¿Cómo está, Pel?

Wake up, Ned‐o!
I'm sorry I yelled at you.

I need to speak with
the man in charge, fellas.

(speaking Filipino)

Don't point that gun at him.
He's an unpaid intern.

Vikram, what kind of coverage
you get?

I just kept it rolling
till they put this hood
over my head.

(speaking Filipino)

Bill speaks their language.
What are they saying, Billy?

Hold on.

(speaking Filipino)

OK. Apparently
they're taking a hostage.
Obviously they've chosen Ned.

(speaking Filipino)

Now they found out
I speak Filipino,

they seem to be
changing their minds.

(both speaking Filipino)

Do you have a vault?
They wanna know
if there's a vault.

There's no vault.

Our vault contains

at least ten
different currencies

from all over the world

at any given moment,

and we are prepared

for every kind
of financial necessity.

There goes
Ned's inheritance.

Tell them if they don't
get off my boat right now,

there's gonna be
a major shit storm.

(translates in Filipino)

Ohh.

Ned‐o, can you hear me?!
We'll get you back, Billy.

Is everybody else safe?
Anne‐Marie, are you OK, honey?

No, I'm not. I told you
these were unprotected waters.

What a fuckin' nightmare.

Be cool on this shit,
OK, Cubby?

I mean, at least try
to show both sides.

I need to find a baby
for this father.

Yeah, I think I know
what you mean.

(Anne‐Marie murmurs)

(men whispering)

(ropes snap loose)
Here we go.

Steve... what are you...

I said get your ass
the hell off my boat!

(♪ "Search and Destroy"
by Iggy Pop and the Stooges)

♪ I'm a street‐walkin' cheetah

♪ With a heart full of napalm

♪ I'm a runaway son...

Aah!

♪ I am a world's
forgotten boy

♪ The one who searches
and destroys

♪ Honey,
gotta help me, please

♪ Somebody gotta save my soul

♪ Baby, detonate for me

Ohh!

♪ Look out, honey,
'cause I'm using technology

♪ Ain't got time
to make no apology ♪

I've never
seen a bond company stooge
stick his neck out like that.

(squawking)

What's the sound?
Is that...?

The arctic
night lights, yeah.

"As if the natural world's
been turned upside down."

Lord Mandrake.

(chuckles)

Vikram, get some cutaways
of this miracle.

Klaus, Ogata, put out
the deck fires before we sink.

(whimpers)

Those fucking amateurs.

You left your dog,
you idiots.

(barks)

Wrap this stiff
in a tablecloth.

We're gonna
bury him at sea.

Shouldn't we give him
to the authorities
or something?

No.

I'll write up a few words
to read over him.

How you holding up there,
intern? Doing OK?

Ned, how many fingers
am I holding up?

I don't know.
That's not my job.

Too many to tell.
How many fingers...

He's gonna be just fine.

I believe it's criminal
that Steve allowed this
to happen to us,

by which I mean illegal.

We're being led on
an illegal suicide mission
by a selfish maniac.

I hear what you're saying, but
I think you misjudge the guy.

Saint Paul
said to the Corinthians,

"Without kin, no man
may regard himself kindly.

Without s..."

Holy shit!
Son of a bitch. Cut.

(horn blows)

This is
Captain Hennessey.

We've come in response
to your distress signal.

Remain calm...

Good God,
is that you, Steven?

Ogata, run downstairs,
put a tarp over anything

that says
"Operation Hennessey"
on it.

What about this guy?

Just throw him
over the other side.

Your engine blew up
and all your fuel's been stolen,
is that correct?

Uh‐huh.

I know how you feel.
Some crooked fuckers
stripped my sea‐lab.

Probably the same dudes.

I can tow you as far
as Port‐au‐Patois.

I'll need your signature
on that invoice first.

It accounts for the expenses
of the rescue operation,

my time and that of my crew.

This is more than the budget
of my whole project.

It's an estimate.
What's your dog's name?

Cody.

(Cody whimpers)

Be still, Cody.

I have to run this by
my bond company stooge.

He's been kidnapped.

It's true. I have to
rescue him first.

Sign it now, or I'm
leaving you out here.

Oh, I dined with Eleanor
last weekend.

By the way, she's
summering at my villa
in West Port‐au‐Patois.

Say, how's Team Zissou
holding up without her?

The first thing
that goes through
a captain's head

when he hears there's
low morale going around

is, "What'd I do?
Is it all my fault?"

Well, he's probably right.

Most of us have been together
a long time.

There are others
that were here before that.

Do you all...
not like me anymore?

I mean, what am I
supposed to do? I don't know.

Look, if you're not against me,
don't cross this line.

If yes, do.

I love you all.

Are you sure?

Yes, I am.

I don't understand. Why?

What do you mean?
Wait a second.
What are we doing?

You said cross the line if...

Cross the line
if you're going to quit.

Oh... do it again.
I misunderstood.

(beep) Hi, Ross.

I got you corrections
on the proofs.

They're fine, but...
I'm not coming back.

It's over. Please don't
try to contact me, OK?

You'll hear from us,
sometime.

We got attacked by pirates.

I feel as if life has...

Well, you get the idea.
Anyway, take care of yourself.

Will you write to me?

Of course.
Give me the address.

Actually, I went ahead
and stamped and self‐addressed
50 or so envelopes

just to make it
easier for you.

Thanks. I'll use them.

Each one has three
blank pages in it, and...

there's a pen.

Maybe I'm going
to write you a letter
right now.

OK.

I'm gonna
really miss you, Ned.

I'm gonna miss you, too.

In fact, I feel I...
I don't know,

I feel like my heart's
almost getting broken.

I guess I'm overreacting.

Is that really true?

Yes, it is.

That was all
off the record, Cubby,
that whole deal.

Actually, I'm surprised
you didn't cross the line
yourself.

What line?

The line I drew
on the deck just now.

You weren't up there?

No.

You're kidding.

That was one of the
most dramatic things

that's ever happened
on this boat.

I just lost
all my best interns.

I thought you were supposed
to be covering this story.

You said it was all
off the record.

Yeah, but you didn't
know that.
I was down here packing.

I'm at the wrong breaker.

So you are leaving.

You're jumping ship on me.

I'm going to
scrap the article.

You mean you're not even gonna
write the cover story on me?

Man, I just don't have
any stature anymore.

Sorry, Steve.
Everything just got
too weird, that's all.

But I gave you a goddamn
show‐stopper up there.

Are you sleeping with Ned?

That's none of your business.

OK. Are you?

No, I'm not.

You're gonna miss
the jaguar shark,

or whatever it is,
if it actually exists.

(sobbing)
Are you crying?

You cry easily, don't you?

(Oseary)
Bloody hell, God save
that poor little stooge.

This never would've happened
if Eleanor was with us.

Thanks, man.

Your luck had better
damn well

change soon, mate.

Now I must away.

I'll send you a postcard
from my travels.

What?
Where are you going?

Abroad for a spell,
my darling.

It's my passport status,
you see.

I'm X‐9 at the moment.
Legally, I'm a fugitive.

Wait a second.
They stole my budget,
my boat's broken,

you're ditchin' me
up the creek.

What am I supposed
to do here?

Well, I must say,
nothing's jumping to mind.

Phillip,
any suggestions?

No, he's shaking his head.

Land ho!

Port‐au‐Patois, dead ahead.

Port‐au‐Patois.
Port‐au‐Patois! Ho!

Ho!

Ho!

Land ho!

Ho!

No, I can't give you
full credit,

but I'm not gonna
flunk you, either.

You're all getting
"Incompletes."

This is bullshit.

(♪ flamenco)

(ding dong)

Oh, shit. What do you want?

Do you mind if I
butter you up a little bit

before I answer that question?

Yes, I do. Tell me now.

I need some money
to get the boat out of hock

and rescue
my bond company stooge
who got kidnapped.

Could we ask your parents
to loan it to me?

No.

OK.

Could I go ahead
and butter you up anyway?

It took me 2 1/2 hours
to get out here.

Who's that dude?

It's my research assistant
Javier.

Javier, te presento Steve.

Hi, Steve.

(record stops playing)

Nesicito cinco minutos,
por favor.

You know, I'd be jealous about
you staying at Ali's place,

except I always thought
he was kind of a closet queer.

So how's your
father‐son relationship
coming along?

Well, nobody has a real lock
on any of this,

so I don't know
how it all times out.

I know I want him
to think of me
like a father.

But the fact that there's
an outside chance

that he could really be
my actual... biological son...

...is very difficult for me.

You know I'm not big
on apologizing,

so I'll just skip it,
if it's all the same to you.

OK.

Anyway, I'm sorry.

I know I haven't been at my best
this past decade.

That's true.

What happened to me?

Did I lose my talent?

Am I ever gonna
be good again?

I don't know.

Doesn't matter, anyway.

It's probably
the last adventure
I've got in me.

I was hoping to go out
in a flash of blazes,

but I'll probably just
end up going home.

Unless you're planning
to sell the island.

I wonder how much
I could get for it.

In this market?

You were probably right
all along. We should've
had a kid together.

Of course, you were
kinda already...

on the edge
of being too old.

Unless maybe
that's a copout.

It's worse than a copout.
I was 34.

It's good to see you,
Eleanor.

I'm about to blow my stack.

I turn my back,
and the bullshit begins.

Ned, you're a scumbag.

And, Jane,
you're a goddamn liar.

What the fuck
are you doing in here?

What the "F"
are you doing in here?

I warned you about being
in other people's cabins.

You were supposed to go home.

Well, you convinced me to stay
and finish the story.

Is it still the cover?

I don't fucking know.

Don't you dare
put on that uniform.

It's all I have with me.

I told you I have
a bit of a thing for her.

"Not this one," I said.

You said,
"Not this one, Klaus."

So you heard me?

You're too old for me, Steve.

Well, you're pregnant.

Can I have
a word with you
privately?

Yes.

Follow me.

Are you two fighting?

I'll deal with you later.

Look, Steve, I know
we both like her

and you're
angry and embarrassed,
but leave her out of it.

You think that's what
this is about?

Shit, Ned, what has that
bull dyke been telling you?

All right, I'm
gonna warn you now,
be a gentleman.

What are you doing here?
I thought all you interns
ran out on me.

I wanna help you
find that shark.

Goddamn it. Thank you, intern.
You're gettin' an "A."

His name's Niko.
Who?

Hello, Vikram.

Gimme that camera.
Gonna smash it over your head.

Cut!

I misread you, man.

I'm gonna have to
rethink some shit.

You don't know me.
You never wanted
to know me.

I'm just a character
in your film.

It's a documentary.
It's all really happening.

Well, damn you
for that.

Go to bed,
you sons of bitches.

That pregnant slut's
been playing us
like a cheap fiddle.

That's it. I'm gonna
fight you, Steve.

You never say, "I'm gonna
fight you, Steve."

You just smile and act natural,
and then you sucker‐punch him.

You fight your way,
and I'll fight mine.

Oh, listen, Ned.
Don't you try...

I think your Team Zissou ring
might've caught me on the lip.

You call yourself
my son, but...

I just don't see it.

It's nothing personal.

What do you want?

Nothing.

That's so arrogant.
That's... screw off.

I can't believe I asked
if I could call you "Dad."

Of course you said no.

I let you call me Stevesie.
It sounds better.

It doesn't mean
the same thing.

A week before
she killed herself,

my mother told me
that you'd known about me
since the day I was born.

Is that a fact?

That's a fact.

I ought to have
stayed in Kentucky
where I belong.

(Cody barking)

Quiet.

Somebody pay for
this water taxi.

You got any
petty cash on you?

Remind me to send
Eleanor's parents
a thank‐you note

on the good
correspondence stock.

OK.

This is the message
we received earlier tonight

on our answering machine
at Pescespada Island.

(beep) Bill Ubell here.

I'm on a pay phone.

I am still blindfolded,
and my arms are bound,

but a young boy has been
kind enough to assist me,

and there's not much chance

I'll get another
opportunity to call,

so I thought I would
ask if... What? No.

(dial tone)

Well, thanks for
checking in, Bill.

Next time, maybe you could
let us know where you're at.

Based on the quality
of the connection,

the variety of wildlife
in the background,

and the elapsed time
between Mr. Ubell's capture
and this message,

there's a good chance he's
on one of the Ping Islands.

There used to be
a four‐star hotel
on Little Ping.

But the entire island
was destroyed by a monsoon
five years ago.

It's been uninhabited
ever since.

I know the place...
Hotel Citroen.

Cubby, I'd like to speak
on the record for a moment.

Eleanor has always been
the brains behind Team Zissou.

By the way, are you gonna
put in a good description

of the command center
I've set up down here?

OK, gang, that's the plan.

Set a course for Ping Island,
full speed ahead.

You'll need
to hire a team of mechanics
to rebuild the engine first.

I know.
I'm saying after that.

Just because I've decided

to save your neck again
and help you do this rescue

doesn't mean
you've won me back.

Yes, ma'am.

(beeping)

Thanks.

Is the father
out of the picture?

Mm‐hmm. Actually,
I was sort of terrified
about having this baby.

Right now, I'm not
really scared of anything.

Maybe it's my hormones.

That makes sense.

I'm gonna tell you something
confidentially

which won't
be mentioned again.

I'm pretty sure
I'm the only person who can
say this, including Steve...

Never mind how I found out.
I'm scientist.

It's the thing that puzzles me
about Ned's situation.

What is it?

Zissou shoots blanks.

Huh...

I think it's because

he spent half his life
under water.

(Pelé singing "Life on Mars?"
in Portuguese)

Let's try track three
against picture.

A treacherous reef
surrounds the Ping Islands,

warning intruders
to keep their distance.

Today, we discover
one of its victims

off the coast of Ping 3.

Our colleague,
Alistair Hennessey,

and his crew
are nowhere to be found.

We will land at dawn.

Not bad.

We'll tamper
with that, anyway.

All right, let's go.

Oh, shit. Swamp leeches.

Everybody check
for swamp leeches
and pull 'em off.

Nobody else got hit?
I'm the only one?
What's the deal?

What a shame. They had
a bartender here, Keno,

made the best rum cannonball
I've ever tasted.

You ready, Vikram?

We're at 6 1/2.

All right,
shall we do this?

The barometer's falling.
It's gonna rain in five minutes.

We gotta be quick.
Where are they?

Unknown. Split
into two groups.

I'll take Ned, Ogata,
and Wolodarsky.

Thanks. Thanks a lot
for not picking me.

What? We're smack
in the middle

of a lightning‐strike
rescue op, Klaus.
What's the deal?

I'm sick of being
on "B" squad.

Listen, you may
be on "B" squad,

but you're
the "B" squad leader.

Don't you know me and Esteban
always thought of you
as our baby brother?

I've always
thought of you two
as my dads.

Please don't let anyone
make fun of me for saying so.

I can't guarantee that,
Klausy, but I'll try.

Can we get on with
the maneuvers now?

Wolodarsky,
you got something?

Not yet.

Anybody see anybody?

Empty.

Klaus, pirates?

No. I think this
whole pace is deserted.

Shit. We played
a bum hunch.

Fuck. OK, let's not
get down on ourselves.

We still got two more
Ping Islands to check out,

except I don't know
if we have enough gas
to do it. Damn it, Steve!

(thunder)

This sucks.

I'm disappointed
in myself.

My first wife,
Jacqueline, and I
spent our honeymoon here.

Things are
pretty different now.

All right, let's check out.

Did you get that, Vikram?

Uh, yeah.

Good. We'll give them
the reality this time.

A washed‐up old man
with no friends,
no distribution deal,

wife on the rocks,
people laughing at him,

feelin' sorry for himself.

Can I have a word alone
with my son, please?

Are you all right?

Not really.

By the way, I've been trying
to think of a nickname

that might mean
the right thing.

I came up with "Papa Steve."

I'm sorry I never
acknowledged your existence
all those years.

It won't happen again.
I mean it.

You are my son to me.

Almost more so.

See, for me
to meet a guy like you

at this time in my life...

I don't know.
Uh... it's just...

I wanna communicate
my feelings to you,

but I think
I might start to cry.

That's OK.

(Klaus) Psst.

There's something
in the coat check.

Hey, Billy.
You OK?

Did you get my message?

Yeah. It was
kinda garbled.

Jesus, these pirates
are monsters.

Well, yeah, but remember,
I shot one of their guys

in the neck last week
and killed him, so...

I think we're OK, too.

Where's Cody?

(Cody yelps)

Cody?

(whimpers)

Steven...

Steven, are you rescuing me?

Fold.

Klaus, bring the dynamite.

They're in there after all!
Run! Go! Move now!

Vikram got some great footage
of your boat out there.

I guess it's totaled, huh?

Perhaps. We were
extremely well insured.

I'll probably
come out ahead in the end.

Although we'll obviously have to
crew up from scratch next time.

They made soup
out of my research turtles.

(pirates yell)

Ogata, give some
first aid to Pelé.

Klausy, Ned‐o, dig in here
and hold these rustlers off

while I call in
the rendezvous.

We'll meet on the beach.

You're "A" squad.

Renzo, Renzo, Renzo.
Anybody, hello? Hello?

This gizmo's out of juice.

Thanks.

No, Captain. That's Cedric.
He's a friend.

Merci, Cedric.

Remind me, we'll send him
a red cap and a Speedo.

Wolodarsky, go get the keys
to that fishing boat

and throw them in the water.

No, wait. They might have
another set. Just blow it up.

(gunfire continues)

Hey, Ned,

it looks like we recovered
your inheritance.

Klausy...

That's it, I'm retired.

Oh, no, we forgot Cody.
We gotta go back.

Goodbye, Cody.

See, this represents
the Belafonte,

and here's Pescespada Island,

and that circle
represents friendship,

and the "K" here
stands for Klaus.

Where's your symbol, Ned?

I didn't wanna impose myself.

Klaus is right. The flag
needs an "N" symbol.

I suppose we could put an "N"
on the side of that octopus.

What's that stand for
over there?

That's Esteban.

It was working OK
until late last night,

but now the whole
tracking system's gone
completely on the fritz.

Screw it. We'll
sell it for scrap

along with the boat
and the submarines.
I'm going home.

Let's take up the whirlybird

and see what we find
out there, anyway.

I got a feeling
we can spot this fish
from 111 feet up.

Ned, I don't know
if I ever even
saw the bastard.

I have $275,000 invested
in this damn production.

Something ate Esteban,
didn't it? Now lead!

Right?

Right? Ho!

♪ See the dwarves
and see the giants

Ho.

♪ Which one would you
choose to be?

♪ And if you can't
get that together

♪ Here's the answer,
here's the key

♪ You can freeze
like a 30th‐century man...

What's that?

A letter from Jane.

What's she say?

Nothing to speak of.

Thank you for putting me
on the flag, Ned.

Of course, Klaus.
It was my pleasure.

Yeah, but you stitched me
onto the dolphin,

and I wanted you to know
how much that means to me.

Well, I'm very pleased
you liked it.

You're not listening!
I didn't just like it...

You understand?

Yes, I do.
Thank you, Klaus.

♪ Play it cool
like a 30th‐century man

♪ Be a 30th‐century man ♪

I've still got yours,
of course.

My what?

"Dear Captain Zissou,

I am 12 years old
and live in Jawbone, Kentucky.

"A creek runs behind our house
where I live with my mother.

"She met you once
some years ago,

"and I collect and catalog
amphibians, reptiles
and insects.

"I don't know what
this one's called,
so I named it myself.

"You are probably my one of,

if not the favorite,
person I've ever studied.

"I plan to be either
A: an oceanographer,

"B: an architect,
C: a pilot.

"Thank you very much
for your good work.

"Sincerely, Ned Plimpton,
Blue Star Cadet,

"Zissou Society.

P.S. Do you ever wish
you could breathe underwater?"

I still wish I could
breathe underwater.

Me, too, Ned.

Fluorescent snapper.

What? Really?
What's that?

A good sign. The last time
we saw that big shitkicker...

(thunk)

(ting)

Something popped up there,
didn't it?

I heard a pin snap loose
at the rotator mechanism.

(alarm sounds)

This is gonna hurt.

Ned!

Ned!!

Ned.

Hey, Stevesie.

Are you OK?

I think I'm OK.

What happened?
Did we hit something?

Most likely not.

I think maybe
the pushrod failed.

I'm sorry, Ned.

I should've
scrapped this chopper
ten years ago.

You know, maybe I should've
autorotated and performed
a high‐bank draw descent.

We might've crashed
a little softer.

Probably wouldn't have made
any difference, though.

♪ Should I try to hide

♪ The way I feel inside

♪ My heart for you

♪ Would you say that you

♪ Would try to love me, too?

♪ In your mind, could you
ever be really close to me?

♪ I can tell
the way you smile

♪ If I feel that I
could be certain then

♪ I would say the things
I want to say tonight

♪ But till I can see...

All hands, bury the dead.

♪ ...that you'd
really care for me

♪ I will dream
that someday you'll be

♪ Really close to me

♪ I can tell
the way you smile

♪ If I feel that I
could be certain then

♪ I would say the things
I want to say tonight

♪ But till I can see

♪ That you'd
really care for me

♪ I'll keep trying to hide
the way I feel inside ♪

(singing in Portuguese)

This is the first time Eleanor's
ever cried in front of me

as long as I've known her.

Except for once
when she got her arm
caught in the deck winch.

Is this my espresso machine?

How did you get
my espresso machine?

Well, uh, we fuckin'
stole it, man.

Ali, why don't you
go powder your nose?

I need to talk
to your ex‐wife.

We've never made
great husbands,
have we?

Of course, I have
a good excuse...
I'm part gay.

Supposedly, everyone is.

I never told you this,
but I was hoping...

we might get the chance
to adopt Ned.

I think he would've
wanted it that way.

Would you have
gone along with me
on that?

He was 30, Steve,
but I'd have considered it.

Thanks, Eleanor.

We're a dying breed.

Yeah. I guess
we were all right

while we lasted,
though, weren't we?

Oh, we were like glory's gate,
my darling.

We were like that
bloody shark of yours.

We swam with the, um, uh...

Oh, damn it.
I had it on the plane.

What was I gonna say?
Ah, well, it's good to see you.

How's your
passport status?

Much better, thank you.
I'm back down to X‐4.

Tell me, who knocked up
the reporter?

I don't know.

By the way,
thanks for showing me
the first draft.

You read it.
What did you think?

Well, I was
a little embarrassed
at first.

Obviously people are
gonna think I'm a showboat

and a little bit of a prick,

but then I realized...
that's me.

I said those things,
I did those things.

I can live with that.

You're a good writer,
Jane.

It's the effing cover.

That a girl.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.
I'm sorry to interrupt,

but we just got
the scanning monitor back up,

and it looks like the
jaguar shark, or whatever
it is we're tracking,

is in a trench
on the far side of the reef.

Aw...

What the hell
is going on in here
with the wiring?

Anybody feel like
going for a ride?

(sonar pinging)

(Wolodarsky)
"Ned's Theme," take one.

(♪ synth)

I hooked a rhinestone bluefin
on a rope

to give him something to eat.

Is that one of mine?

I think one of my
research turtles survived.

(turns off music)

Yeah, looks good.

(heartbeats)

(woman singing
in foreign language)

Is that him?

That's him, Klaus.

Are we‐Are we safe
in here?

I doubt it.

You still want to
blow him up?

No. We're out of dynamite,
anyway.

It is beautiful, Steve.

Yeah, it's pretty good,
isn't it?

I wonder if it remembers me.

In 12 years,
he'll be 11 1/2.

That was my favorite age.

Like this?

Just like that.

You do it, too.

(Steve) We complete
the adventure,

but another member
of our crew has been lost.

This one was my son.

Also our equity partner.

We start the voyage home
in our wounded vessel.

(camera shutters snapping)

(applause)

Ho.

Ho.

This is an adventure.

(doors open)

(♪ "Queen Bitch"
by David Bowie)

♪ Aw, yeah

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ I'm up on the 11th floor

♪ And I'm watchin'
the cruisers below

♪ He's down on the street

♪ And he's trying hard
to pull sister Flo

♪ Oh, my heart's
in the basement

♪ My weekend's
at an all‐time low

♪ 'Cause she's
hopin' to score

♪ So I can't see her
letting him go

♪ Walk out of her heart,
walk out of her mind

♪ Oh, not her

♪ She's so swishy
in her satin and tat

♪ In her frock coat
and bippity‐boppity hat

♪ Oh, God, I could
do better than that

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ She's an old‐time ambassador

♪ Of sweet‐talking,
night‐walking games

♪ Oh, and she's known
in the darkest clubs

♪ For pushing ahead
of the dames

♪ If she says she can do it,
then she can do it

♪ She don't make false claims

♪ But she's a queen
and such are queens

♪ That your laughter
is sucked in their brains

♪ Now she's leading him on

♪ And she'll
lay him right down

♪ Now she's leading him on,
and she'll lay him right down

♪ But it could've been me,
yes, it could've been me

♪ Why didn't I say

♪ Why didn't I say
no, no, no?

♪ She's so swishy
in her satin and tat

♪ In her frock coat
and bippity‐boppity hat

♪ Oh, God, I could
do better than that, yeah

♪ So I lay down a while,
and I gaze at my hotel wall

♪ Oh, the cot is so cold

♪ It don't feel like
no bed at all

♪ Yeah, I lay down a while
and look at my hotel wall

♪ And she's down on the street

♪ So I throw both his bags
down the hall

♪ And I'm phoning a cab
'cause my stomach feels small

♪ There's a taste in my mouth,
and it's no taste at all

♪ It could've been me,
oh, yeah, it could've been me

♪ Why didn't I say

♪ Why didn't I say
no, no, no?

♪ She's so swishy
in her satin and tat

♪ In her frock coat
and bippity‐boppity hat

♪ Oh, God, I could
do better than that

♪ Ooh, you betcha

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Uh‐huh

Mm.

(singing "Queen Bitch"
in Portuguese)