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1
00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:24,900
- Hey.
- Jay.
2
00:00:24,979 --> 00:00:26,220
Why are you looking up there?
3
00:00:26,779 --> 00:00:29,580
- Trying to shake things up a bit.
- Why?
4
00:00:29,659 --> 00:00:32,020
Because people
keep telling me I should.
5
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,660
What's the Peruvian
special blend like?
6
00:00:34,740 --> 00:00:37,579
I like it but some people find
the top notes a little overpowering.
7
00:00:37,660 --> 00:00:39,459
- What are they?
- Kind of rustic.
8
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,020
Rustic, like cow shit?
9
00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:43,300
No. Who's telling you need
to shake things up? Ellen?
10
00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:44,819
Yeah, and I will.
11
00:00:45,740 --> 00:00:49,179
But I need to know if this coffee
tastes like cow shit before I order.
12
00:00:49,259 --> 00:00:50,859
No, I mean...
13
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:54,819
I guess cow shit is a part of
the rustic olfactory experience.
14
00:00:54,899 --> 00:00:56,219
So it does or it doesn't?
15
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,779
The top note is not cow shit,
of course.
16
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,420
The top note is rusticity.
17
00:01:00,940 --> 00:01:03,539
But I guess if you would
take apart the smell of it,
18
00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:06,259
like a farm in Vermont
or somewhere,
19
00:01:06,339 --> 00:01:07,860
cow shit would be
one of those things.
20
00:01:07,940 --> 00:01:11,300
How could it smell like a farm
in Vermont if it's Peruvian?
21
00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:13,500
I've never smelt
a Peruvian farm before.
22
00:01:13,580 --> 00:01:14,780
I was trying to analogize.
23
00:01:14,860 --> 00:01:17,220
Do you think it might smell
like a Peruvian farm?
24
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,940
That would be pretty overwhelmingly
cow shitty, I would've thought.
25
00:01:20,020 --> 00:01:22,300
The coffee doesn't
smell a cow shit, okay?
26
00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:25,860
You're walking by a river near a farm.
27
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:30,419
A Peruvian farm, but not a really,
really Peruvian one.
28
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:32,220
- No goats?
- No goats.
29
00:01:32,619 --> 00:01:36,740
You smell the water
and some fauna, and some flora,
30
00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:42,220
and exotic herbs in a little tiny puff
of something more agricultural.
31
00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:43,380
Sold.
32
00:01:44,780 --> 00:01:46,580
So, Ellen wants you
to be more surprising.
33
00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:48,860
- Not just Ellen.
- Who else? Your kids?
34
00:01:50,619 --> 00:01:52,979
I decided to see
a personal therapist.
35
00:01:53,059 --> 00:01:55,740
- First time in my life.
- You did?
36
00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:58,020
That's great.
37
00:01:58,699 --> 00:02:01,179
- Why is it?
- I think everyone should go.
38
00:02:01,259 --> 00:02:02,940
No offense, Jay,
39
00:02:03,459 --> 00:02:05,979
but you must have a whole ton
of troubles, what with the...
40
00:02:06,619 --> 00:02:08,739
I could see
why you would need to go.
41
00:02:08,819 --> 00:02:10,739
But I never saw it for me.
42
00:02:10,819 --> 00:02:12,940
I'm sure you didn't.
So why do it?
43
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:16,780
- Well, you were a part of it actually.
- Me?
44
00:02:16,859 --> 00:02:19,060
- I sent you to therapy?
- Not directly.
45
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,819
It's a combination
of a whole lot of things,
46
00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:22,979
all of them connected
to my straightness,
47
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:26,299
my perceived lack of any
interesting kinks in my psyche.
48
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:30,060
So your lack of need for
therapy drove you to therapy?
49
00:02:30,979 --> 00:02:33,460
- And any interesting kinks?
- Yeah.
50
00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:35,900
By the end of 15 minutes,
I was beginning to feel
51
00:02:35,979 --> 00:02:39,859
like I had more mental problems
than any human on the planet.
52
00:02:40,180 --> 00:02:42,060
- You're kidding me?
- You knew?
53
00:02:43,060 --> 00:02:45,139
And before I go
and talk to my wife,
54
00:02:45,220 --> 00:02:48,180
I want to apologize
for any inappropriate curiosity
55
00:02:48,259 --> 00:02:49,539
over the last few weeks.
56
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:51,859
Did you just say that
because I walked in?
57
00:02:51,940 --> 00:02:53,780
Yes, I wanted you to hear it.
58
00:02:54,539 --> 00:02:56,579
I talked about Jay
in my session yesterday.
59
00:02:56,940 --> 00:02:58,859
- Good.
- "Good"? Are you kidding me?
60
00:02:58,940 --> 00:03:02,460
I don't want to be the focus of his
weird heteronormative obsessions.
61
00:03:02,539 --> 00:03:04,660
That's exactly what he should
be talking about there.
62
00:03:04,979 --> 00:03:07,100
Absurd, creepy
and inappropriate.
63
00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:08,620
Maybe Jay should be
the judge of that.
64
00:03:08,699 --> 00:03:11,620
No offense, Scott, they're absurd,
creepy and inappropriate.
65
00:03:12,139 --> 00:03:14,739
- Okay.
- Is that an apology?
66
00:03:15,180 --> 00:03:17,539
- It's as close as you'll get.
- I'll bring your tea over.
67
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:22,180
- I'm sorry. It's just I never...
- Just stop at "I'm sorry".
68
00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:31,460
That was big.
69
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,220
Yeah, I guess it was.
70
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:35,460
Have you always gone to therapy?
71
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:40,299
- What?
- Now he asks.
72
00:03:40,780 --> 00:03:42,220
Just making conversation.
73
00:03:42,299 --> 00:03:44,620
Well, you never made
this conversation before.
74
00:03:44,699 --> 00:03:46,380
All those years
of me seeing someone.
75
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,699
It's like when you have a baby,
76
00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:52,019
you look around and you
recognize for the first time
77
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:53,940
people have babies
all the time.
78
00:03:54,019 --> 00:03:57,180
Because you're in therapy you want
to talk about it with other people?
79
00:03:57,859 --> 00:04:00,739
Sure. It's a new hobby.
Why wouldn't I show more interest?
80
00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:05,180
- Therapy isn't like fishing.
- No, of course not.
81
00:04:06,299 --> 00:04:07,579
What were you thinking of?
82
00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:09,100
- The differences?
- Yeah.
83
00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:13,620
The differences
between therapy and fishing?
84
00:04:13,699 --> 00:04:15,419
Yeah. Apart from equipment.
85
00:04:16,179 --> 00:04:18,700
Right. You're serious?
86
00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:19,939
- Yeah.
- Okay.
87
00:04:21,780 --> 00:04:25,460
The first one
at that front of my mind
88
00:04:25,539 --> 00:04:27,460
is that therapy attempts to...
89
00:04:27,539 --> 00:04:31,780
Well, it deals with
how you are as a person.
90
00:04:32,220 --> 00:04:34,059
- Not a lot of hobbies do that.
- Yeah.
91
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,660
We're talking about the difference
between fishing and therapy.
92
00:04:36,739 --> 00:04:39,780
Which one of you
is the fisher person?
93
00:04:40,539 --> 00:04:43,580
I go out sometimes.
Deep sea. I have a boat.
94
00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:45,660
- I've always wanted to do that.
- Come on.
95
00:04:45,739 --> 00:04:47,299
Stop messing
with his head again.
96
00:04:47,379 --> 00:04:49,539
- What?
- Fishing?
97
00:04:49,619 --> 00:04:52,499
You're presuming I don't want to fish?
You're worse than him.
98
00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:54,419
You're not vegan?
99
00:04:54,499 --> 00:04:56,460
No, I'm just Jay.
100
00:04:56,979 --> 00:04:58,100
I'm sorry.
101
00:04:58,179 --> 00:05:01,340
It's just, you know,
the whole non-dairy...
102
00:05:01,419 --> 00:05:03,859
I'm not the one who's non-dairy.
It's the customers.
103
00:05:03,939 --> 00:05:05,460
Hey, you want to come
out some day?
104
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,179
On a boat? Sure.
105
00:05:07,260 --> 00:05:08,419
Okay.
106
00:05:08,499 --> 00:05:11,700
I never thought I'd be going out fishing
with someone who says "fisher person".
107
00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:13,059
Can you handle it?
108
00:05:13,619 --> 00:05:15,299
- I think I can.
- Great.
109
00:05:17,179 --> 00:05:19,419
- This is good.
- I knew you'd like it.
110
00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:23,979
You have a new pal.
111
00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:27,379
Anyway, I stopped going
to therapy a while ago.
112
00:05:27,939 --> 00:05:29,499
You stopped? Really?
113
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,939
Scott, do you ever think
about not asking a question?
114
00:05:32,619 --> 00:05:34,140
Why shouldn't I ask a question?
115
00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:36,100
When it makes you seem like
the least curious,
116
00:05:36,179 --> 00:05:38,299
most self-absorbed
person in America?
117
00:05:40,499 --> 00:05:41,780
I have a choice.
118
00:05:41,859 --> 00:05:45,900
I could not ask the question
and remain inexcusably ignorant.
119
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:49,100
Or I got to ask the question
and come across as an asshole.
120
00:05:49,179 --> 00:05:52,179
I'm interested.
So I'm taking the asshole route.
121
00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:54,539
The road most traveled.
122
00:05:54,619 --> 00:05:57,299
I'm gonna ignore that
and ask about your themes.
123
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,700
In therapy,
apart from our marriage?
124
00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:01,419
Yeah, was there anything else?
125
00:06:01,499 --> 00:06:04,700
Of course. My dad.
My work. My sister.
126
00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:07,939
- You used to talk about your work?
- Sure.
127
00:06:08,020 --> 00:06:10,979
When I quit the nonprofit
to be a mom, it killed me.
128
00:06:11,059 --> 00:06:13,140
I mean, you knew
that much, at least.
129
00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:17,460
So we talked a lot about
identity and frustration,
130
00:06:17,539 --> 00:06:19,580
and that linked in
nicely with my dad,
131
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:23,059
who was work obsessed
and never home.
132
00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:24,539
Interesting.
133
00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:27,820
What now?
134
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:29,939
It's as interesting
as it's ever been.
135
00:06:32,299 --> 00:06:34,820
Do you want me to ask you
about your themes?
136
00:06:35,260 --> 00:06:37,179
Is that the point
of this conversation?
137
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,340
Only if you're interested.
138
00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:41,739
I mean, I know
I'm right at the beginning,
139
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:45,299
but I can see that women
are going to be an issue.
140
00:06:45,379 --> 00:06:46,820
Well, duh.
141
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:48,859
I don't do me like that,
I just mean...
142
00:06:49,379 --> 00:06:54,100
Maybe I have some complicated
ideas about women.
143
00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:56,299
So you're complicated
after all.
144
00:06:56,379 --> 00:06:59,499
Well, can you be an uncomplicated
person with complicated ideas?
145
00:06:59,580 --> 00:07:01,820
Like, Einstein.
146
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:04,939
Was he an uncomplicated person?
I don't really know.
147
00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:09,619
First of all, I like how Einstein
is your first point of comparison.
148
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:13,419
Secondly, you have
brilliant theories about women,
149
00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:16,299
ideas that will help explain
the feminine universe
150
00:07:16,379 --> 00:07:20,580
or just fucked up attitudes
that need examining.
151
00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:22,059
Let me answer for you.
152
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:26,859
You have fucked up attitudes
that need examining and eradicating.
153
00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:29,260
Yeah, I'm sure you're right.
154
00:07:30,619 --> 00:07:32,939
I thought you'd be pleased
I decided to do it.
155
00:07:33,739 --> 00:07:35,460
I'm sorry. I am pleased.
156
00:07:36,820 --> 00:07:38,179
But are you doing it for me?
157
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,220
I don't know.
158
00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:43,140
Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
159
00:07:43,859 --> 00:07:44,939
How does that work?
160
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,580
Because I can't just
go on being me.
161
00:07:49,539 --> 00:07:51,460
Not if I want to
stay married to you.
162
00:07:53,179 --> 00:07:54,859
That has become clear to me.
163
00:07:54,939 --> 00:07:58,260
Why do you want to stay
married to me if that's the cost?
164
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:00,379
You're a good guy.
165
00:08:01,179 --> 00:08:03,619
Solvent, funny. Still handsome.
166
00:08:03,939 --> 00:08:06,179
There are lots of other women
out there for you.
167
00:08:06,260 --> 00:08:10,460
People who would love to look
at the Normandy beaches.
168
00:08:10,539 --> 00:08:11,900
I'm not being sarcastic.
169
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,539
Some women
like military history.
170
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,700
Of course they do.
171
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:17,820
Plus the Normandy thing...
172
00:08:18,179 --> 00:08:20,660
They're still beaches
in France.
173
00:08:21,939 --> 00:08:25,379
Why do you want a wife who
wants to bend you out of shape?
174
00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:27,700
'Cause she's
the one I've got.
175
00:08:28,059 --> 00:08:30,179
There has to be
a more compelling answer.
176
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,939
Everything is up in the air.
177
00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:34,420
We have a chance to rebuild.
178
00:08:34,499 --> 00:08:36,420
Live the lives we want.
179
00:08:36,499 --> 00:08:38,220
I feel comfortable with you.
180
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,340
Is that enough for you?
181
00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:44,100
I'd rather feel
comfortable with you
182
00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:45,940
than uncomfortable
with someone else.
183
00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:49,700
We're not couches.
184
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:51,820
What's wrong
in a comfortable couch?
185
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:54,180
They're not nothing,
they're hard to find.
186
00:08:54,259 --> 00:08:55,940
Take a long time to wear in.
187
00:08:56,019 --> 00:08:59,060
Jesus, Scott,
people sit on couches.
188
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:02,019
Nobody wants to be
sat on for 40 years
189
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:05,220
while you shout
at baseball on TV.
190
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:08,300
Okay, I'm talking about
the marriage, not the wife.
191
00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:11,180
We have a comfortable marriage.
192
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,700
You want
an uncomfortable marriage?
193
00:09:12,779 --> 00:09:14,499
You want to start
all over again?
194
00:09:14,899 --> 00:09:18,100
Squirming around so your ass makes
the right shape in the cushion...
195
00:09:18,580 --> 00:09:22,979
I just wonder somewhere out there
is a sofa with indentations
196
00:09:23,060 --> 00:09:25,739
the exact sizes
of our asses.
197
00:09:25,820 --> 00:09:27,580
You mean apart
from the one at home?
198
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:32,379
It would be so easy to settle back
into the one at home.
199
00:09:34,180 --> 00:09:35,779
That's why this is so hard.
200
00:09:36,180 --> 00:09:38,259
It's hard
because it would be easy.
201
00:09:38,739 --> 00:09:39,820
I don't want easy.
202
00:09:40,540 --> 00:09:42,100
I can't want easy.
203
00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:46,899
And you didn't even notice I wasn't
sitting on the sofa at home much.
204
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,420
It will still remember your shape.
205
00:09:54,379 --> 00:09:56,019
I think what I'm saying...
206
00:09:58,019 --> 00:10:01,100
You're saying someone else might be
a better fit.
207
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:04,540
For you, too.
208
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:10,060
Yeah, I kind of see the theory,
but in practice... Man.
209
00:10:11,899 --> 00:10:13,820
There isn't...
210
00:10:16,019 --> 00:10:19,580
You haven't started trying
sofas out, have you yet?
211
00:10:20,060 --> 00:10:21,180
No.
212
00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:24,379
Not really.
213
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,340
"Not really"?
214
00:10:28,499 --> 00:10:29,580
What does that mean?
215
00:10:33,019 --> 00:10:35,060
I haven't bought a new sofa.
216
00:10:35,979 --> 00:10:37,100
It's still in the store.
217
00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:40,820
What does that mean?
218
00:10:42,659 --> 00:10:43,820
We should go.
16772
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