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1
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So...
2
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,760
Take your time.
3
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,640
- I'm actually a decisive person.
- I'm sure.
4
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,520
I just don't see
the word "coffee".
5
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,840
- We sell coffee.
- Then that's what I want.
6
00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:00,040
Okay, so we have
three different roasts...
7
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,960
I don't want three different roasts,
I just want coffee.
8
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,400
What would you give me
if I just ask for coffee?
9
00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:08,240
I wouldn't. I would describe
the three different roasts.
10
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:11,360
And what if I just shouted "coffee"
over your descriptions?
11
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,320
You can try that if you want.
12
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,760
Look, I've run my own business
for a long time.
13
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,880
One thing I've learned,
don't overcomplicate things.
14
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,080
Lead with the headline.
15
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,840
You sell cars, say you sell cars.
16
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,160
You sell guns,
say you sell guns.
17
00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:29,520
It doesn't even say coffee
in your sign.
18
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,840
What the hell is "Mouthfeel"?
Sounds like a sex club.
19
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,920
It's the way the coffee
feels in your mouth.
20
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,480
It's a word connoisseurs use.
21
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:39,840
- You mean the taste?
- No.
22
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,320
It's distinct from the taste.
23
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,000
See, it's all way too complicated,
24
00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,640
even before somebody
walks through the door.
25
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,440
So you think in a gun store,
26
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,920
a person walks in
and asks for a gun,
27
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,440
and that's the end
of the conversation.
28
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:56,440
They give him a generic gun
with the word "gun" on the box.
29
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,960
- Guns are a bad example.
- Cars.
30
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,400
Just give me coffee number one.
31
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,240
I'm not interested
in the mouthfeel.
32
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,280
- You take milk?
- Sure.
33
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,360
Regular from a cow
pumped full of steroids.
34
00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:12,600
Nothing missing.
35
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,200
Jay.
36
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,560
- Is that an initial?
- Not really.
37
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,040
- "Not really"?
- Just Jay.
38
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,120
What was your birth name?
39
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,040
How strong is your pee flow currently?
40
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:31,520
- Not an equivalent question!
- I think it is.
41
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:35,960
So what are you
doing around here, anyway?
42
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:37,720
What? I'm not cool enough?
43
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,240
Honestly?
44
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,200
I have an appointment.
45
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,320
Steve and Cindy upstairs?
46
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,080
They're great.
47
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,720
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hey, how are you?
48
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,320
So you met my husband, Scott.
49
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:53,760
Yeah.
50
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,920
I wouldn't put you two together.
51
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,440
- Yeah, well...
- Yeah.
52
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,880
Steve and Cindy.
53
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,760
- Exactly.
- You want to come up with us?
54
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,240
That will still only be five of us
in the room.
55
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,640
I'll bring your tea over.
56
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,960
So many questions.
57
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,320
- Yeah?
- How do you know these people?
58
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,240
You mean one person,
59
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,720
who in your mind is this entire
imaginary community of friends?
60
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,160
Yes.
61
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,920
My yoga class
is across the street.
62
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,520
I just told you
something you didn't know.
63
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,600
I was hoping you knew
I went to yoga classes.
64
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,400
I knew you
did something stretchy.
65
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,400
Okay, second question.
Let's say you need an...
66
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,920
What are they called, he/she?
67
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,560
- Pronouns.
- Exactly.
68
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,160
Say you needed a pronoun.
Which one would you use?
69
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,760
Well, I'd have
to know the context.
70
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,280
In the course
of an average day, I use both.
71
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,800
Funny. I'm talking about Jay.
72
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,440
You want to know
if Jay is male or female?
73
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,560
- Yeah, I guess.
- Hi!
74
00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:00,440
Here is your tea.
And here is your steroids.
75
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,320
- Yeah, that's good.
- Okay.
76
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:04,960
Enjoy.
77
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,200
- Why do you want to know?
- Seriously?
78
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,320
Yes.
79
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,160
Because it's relevant information.
80
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,680
Well, maybe if you're thinking
of hooking up,
81
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,120
not if you're buying coffee.
82
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,320
What if I wanted to say "blank"
has put too much milk in this?
83
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:21,920
Jay.
84
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,800
Jay has put
too much milk on this.
85
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,600
I'm going to ask "blank"
for another cup.
86
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,960
Jay prefers "they".
87
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,200
- "They"?
- Yes.
88
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:35,680
- I'm gonna ask they for another cup?
- "Them", obviously.
89
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,280
- They is making me another cup.
- "They are," always.
90
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,360
You're giving a running commentary
on this entire transaction.
91
00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,560
I'm just trying to understand
what's going on here.
92
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,560
I think you've got it.
93
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,920
- So, language has no meaning.
- Of course it has meaning.
94
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,680
- "They" is plural.
- Not the way you just used it.
95
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,760
- When?
- "They is plural".
96
00:04:56,840 --> 00:05:00,000
You can't use "they" unless
Jay is several people.
97
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,520
Well, Jay isn't several people
and we still say "they".
98
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,440
- What are you going to do about it?
- What about the laws of grammar?
99
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:06,640
They change all the time.
100
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:12,000
See, this is why I'm not comfortable
with your choice of counselors.
101
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:16,000
Because grammar laws changed?
Because Jay works
102
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:19,600
in a coffee shop underneath,
but unconnected to their office?
103
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:22,720
There's a whole way
of thinking here that I...
104
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:28,400
You know, I'm retired.
I think Bernie Sanders is a lunatic.
105
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,480
I don't see anything
wrong with milk.
106
00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:34,280
Why can't we go
where we went before?
107
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,240
That was 20 years ago
and Jeannie retired.
108
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,080
But that was up in Laurel Hill.
I know what goes on there.
109
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:42,920
What goes on there?
110
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,160
Golf, tennis.
None of this stuff.
111
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:48,320
I don't know if there's a correlation
112
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,040
between good sports facilities
and good counseling.
113
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,720
Maybe. Maybe not.
114
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:57,800
- Do you know why we're here?
- What are you talking about?
115
00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,680
- Why are we here?
- For marital counseling.
116
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:00,840
But why?
117
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,240
I probably did something bad again.
118
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,400
But you have no real idea what?
119
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,680
No. But I look forward
to hearing about it.
120
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,280
And then I'll stop doing it
and we can move on.
121
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,960
Wait, so you're kind of patronizing me?
122
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:19,080
Like, I have no idea why
she wants to go see a counselor for.
123
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,800
Well, I'll go along with it.
124
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,160
What would have changed
if I'd asked a ton of questions?
125
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,560
You'd have seemed like someone
who has a stake in the relationship.
126
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,760
So just turning up isn't enough
to demonstrate that?
127
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,480
You're humoring me.
128
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:32,840
So can I go home again?
129
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:34,760
No.
130
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,560
I just don't think the people here
131
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,400
are going to be any good
for a guy like me.
132
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,480
What's a guy like you?
133
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,080
You know me.
You married me.
134
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,520
I want to hear what you'd say.
135
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,600
- Just hard working...
- Well, retired.
136
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,760
A hardworking, family guy.
137
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,800
Our kids are out in the world now.
138
00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:01,400
I'm a guy who loves
his wife and his daughters.
139
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,640
And his grandchildren.
Although the youngest...
140
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:06,400
Will you stop with that?
She's two years old.
141
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:07,800
She's not likable.
142
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:13,480
- When we went to see Jeannie...
- That was then.
143
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:17,680
You asked me about now.
Anyway, I still loved my wife.
144
00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,640
I just did a stupid thing.
145
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,720
Well, things, as it turned out.
146
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,920
I know, I know. I just thought
147
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,880
that was how things
were supposed to be.
148
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,120
You thought you're supposed
to sleep with other women?
149
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,640
- It was different back then.
- Yeah.
150
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,560
In the '90s, when men were men.
151
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,000
Okay, okay.
152
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,400
We went through
all this torture with Jeannie.
153
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:44,360
And you and her tell me what
a bad guy I am, and we talk and talk.
154
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,480
And here we are, like,
a quarter of a century later
155
00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:50,240
and none of that
talking counted for anything.
156
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,800
All that talking could
never wipe the slate clean.
157
00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:58,760
But it got us this far.
158
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,160
How's your coffee?
159
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,880
Tastes like Almond Joy.
160
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,760
I mean, I like an almond joy...
161
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,440
- I think I want a divorce.
- But I wanted to have coffee.
162
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,120
You first.
163
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,680
- A divorce?
- Yes.
164
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,440
Seriously?
165
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,840
We're talking to these people
because you want a divorce?
166
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:30,480
What are we gonna talk about
if you already know?
167
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,640
Well, I don't know. I think.
168
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,760
And there's a lot to talk about.
And if it turns out that's what I want,
169
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,560
then I can help you accept it.
And we can move on with our lives.
170
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,560
And be good parents
and grandparents together.
171
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,280
I don't accept it.
172
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,360
I didn't think
you would right away.
173
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,720
I'm not going to accept it.
174
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,400
Why not?
175
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,280
Because I love you.
176
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,320
I love you, too.
177
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,640
I don't think that will ever end.
178
00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,600
Okay, I'm not clever enough
to understand this.
179
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,840
We're fine. This is crazy stuff.
180
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,600
This is the coffee shop talking.
181
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:15,200
I'd say the same thing in any golf
club or steakhouse of your choosing.
182
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,680
It's not so hard to understand.
183
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,920
I just don't know
if I want to be married...
184
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,080
To me or to anyone?
185
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:34,400
I can't imagine being married
to anyone else, either.
186
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,280
We should go.
187
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,200
That coffee was absurd.
188
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,880
I knew you wouldn't like it.
You should have let me describe it
13567
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