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1
00:00:02,034 --> 00:00:03,934
DEAR, ARE YOU GOING TO
THE RETIREMENT SEMINAR TODAY?
2
00:00:04,002 --> 00:00:05,237
WHY SHOULD I?
3
00:00:05,304 --> 00:00:07,272
TO PLAN OUR FUTURE.
4
00:00:07,339 --> 00:00:09,807
WE DON'T WANT TO END UP
LIKE ONE OF THOSE
PATHETIC OLD COUPLES
5
00:00:09,875 --> 00:00:13,111
WHO SIT AROUND THE KITCHEN
IN THEIR BATHROBES
DRINKING COFFEE ALL DAY.
6
00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:14,946
GLADYS, THAT'LL NEVER
HAPPEN TO US
7
00:00:15,014 --> 00:00:17,082
AS LONG AS
WE KEEP PLAYING THE HORSES.
8
00:00:17,149 --> 00:00:18,517
MOM, DAD,
9
00:00:18,584 --> 00:00:21,118
CAN I GIVE YOU A HINT
WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY?
10
00:00:21,186 --> 00:00:22,454
IF YOU MUST.
11
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,421
WHEN IS IT?
12
00:00:23,489 --> 00:00:24,889
YESTERDAY.
13
00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:27,058
[chuckles]
BETTER LUCK NEXT YEAR, BOY.
14
00:00:27,126 --> 00:00:29,527
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
PULL THAT ON ME
AGAIN THIS YEAR.
15
00:00:29,595 --> 00:00:32,029
I WANT MY OWN PERSONAL
2-MAN SUBMARINE.
16
00:00:32,097 --> 00:00:34,532
IT HAS A PERISCOPE,
TORPEDO LAUNCHER,
17
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,569
SHIP-TO-SHORE RADIO,
EMERGENCY DIVE OUTFIT,
18
00:00:37,636 --> 00:00:39,438
AND A FUNCTIONAL
CIGARETTE LIGHTER.
19
00:00:39,505 --> 00:00:41,840
AND IT ONLY COSTS $19.95.
20
00:00:41,907 --> 00:00:44,742
CHRIS, DON'T BE DUPED
BY A PHONY AD.
21
00:00:44,810 --> 00:00:48,146
YOU CAN'T BUY A SUB
WITH ALL THAT FOR $19.95.
22
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:51,782
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
CLOSE TO A BILLION DOLLARS
WORTH OF EQUIPMENT.
23
00:00:51,850 --> 00:00:53,284
OH, RIGHT.
24
00:00:53,352 --> 00:00:55,820
"ADS IN COMIC BOOKS
ARE ALWAYS RIP-OFFS."
25
00:00:55,888 --> 00:00:58,723
OUT TO SUCKER
DUMB LITTLE KIDS LIKE ME.
26
00:00:58,791 --> 00:01:00,191
YOU'RE SO NEGATIVE, DAD.
27
00:01:00,259 --> 00:01:01,859
YEAH. IRONIC, ISN'T IT?
28
00:01:01,927 --> 00:01:04,896
ESPECIALLY WHEN I'VE BEEN
BLESSED WITH SO MUCH.
29
00:01:04,997 --> 00:01:07,966
I'LL JUST HAVE TO
EARN THE MONEY MYSELF.
30
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:10,669
I KNOW,
I'LL GET A PAPER ROUTE.
31
00:01:10,736 --> 00:01:12,571
�[choir singing]
32
00:01:16,875 --> 00:01:20,846
CHRIS, WHY WOULD YOU
WANT TO GET SUCKED
INTO A DEAD-END JOB LIKE THAT?
33
00:01:20,913 --> 00:01:22,881
IT'S ONLY TILL
THE SUB'S PAID OFF.
34
00:01:22,948 --> 00:01:25,917
IT'S NOT LIKE
I'M GONNA DO IT FOREVER.
35
00:01:25,984 --> 00:01:28,820
�[Time Won't Let Me
by Outsiders playing]
36
00:01:32,291 --> 00:01:35,659
� I CAN'T WAIT FOREVER
37
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:42,133
� EVEN THOUGH YOU WANT ME TO
38
00:01:44,870 --> 00:01:48,439
� I CAN'T WAIT FOREVER
39
00:01:50,342 --> 00:01:51,642
[door banging]
40
00:01:51,710 --> 00:01:53,611
IS IT HERE YET?
41
00:01:53,679 --> 00:01:54,712
JEEZ, ARE YOU DEAF?
42
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:56,281
IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT
OF YOUR FACE.
43
00:01:56,348 --> 00:01:57,582
OH.
44
00:01:57,650 --> 00:01:59,984
OH, JOYOUS, RAPTUROUS DAY!
45
00:02:00,052 --> 00:02:01,453
IT CAME, IT CAME!
46
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:04,088
OH, MY. OH.
47
00:02:04,156 --> 00:02:05,823
I GUESS ALL MY YEARS
OF HOPING
48
00:02:05,891 --> 00:02:08,659
AND... AND GROWING
INTO MY WEIGHT
ARE FINALLY OVER.
49
00:02:08,727 --> 00:02:10,528
IT'S HERE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
50
00:02:10,596 --> 00:02:12,630
AND JUST IN TIME
FOR MY BIRTHDAY.
51
00:02:13,799 --> 00:02:15,667
WHICH IS WHEN?
52
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,875
�[Stand by R.E.M. playing]
53
00:02:23,942 --> 00:02:25,610
[bicycle bell ringing]
54
00:02:25,711 --> 00:02:28,679
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
55
00:02:28,747 --> 00:02:30,081
� NOW FACE NORTH
56
00:02:30,149 --> 00:02:31,716
� THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
57
00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:33,918
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
58
00:02:33,986 --> 00:02:37,255
� NOW STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU WORK �
59
00:02:37,322 --> 00:02:38,990
� NOW FACE WEST
60
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:41,225
� THINK ABOUT THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
61
00:02:41,293 --> 00:02:43,161
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
62
00:02:43,228 --> 00:02:46,130
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
63
00:02:46,198 --> 00:02:47,665
� NOW FACE NORTH
64
00:02:47,732 --> 00:02:49,367
� THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
65
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:51,602
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
66
00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:54,773
� NOW STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU WORK �
67
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,641
� NOW FACE WEST
68
00:02:56,709 --> 00:02:58,743
� THINK ABOUT THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
69
00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:00,644
� WONDER WHY YOUHAVEN'T BEFORE �
70
00:03:00,712 --> 00:03:03,548
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU ARE �
71
00:03:04,783 --> 00:03:06,885
� SO STAND
72
00:03:11,323 --> 00:03:13,658
[chuckling]
JEEZ, THIS THING'S
REALLY LATE.
73
00:03:13,725 --> 00:03:15,994
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE
4 TO 6 WEEKS.
74
00:03:16,061 --> 00:03:18,329
YOU'D HAVE THOUGHT
THE POSTAL SERVICE
WOULD HAVE IMPROVED
75
00:03:18,397 --> 00:03:20,064
SINCE WE SOLD IT
TO THE JAPANESE.
76
00:03:20,132 --> 00:03:21,632
LOUSY KRAUTS.
77
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:23,968
CHRIS, IT'S SAYS
4 TO 600 WEEKS.
78
00:03:24,736 --> 00:03:27,572
OH, OH. JEEZ. WOW.
79
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,641
WELL, I GUESS
IT'S A WEEK EARLY THEN.
80
00:03:30,175 --> 00:03:32,043
[grunts]
81
00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:33,111
ALLEY-OOP!
82
00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:40,351
OH.
83
00:03:40,419 --> 00:03:41,619
IT'S BROKEN.
84
00:03:41,687 --> 00:03:44,755
YOU IDIOT, YOU HAVE TO
PUT IT TOGETHER.
85
00:03:44,823 --> 00:03:45,857
OH.
86
00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:47,325
OH, JEEZ, WELL,
87
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,060
I'LL JUST SLAP IT
TOGETHER THEN.
88
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:52,029
LUCKILY, IT CAME WITH THIS
HANDY INSTRUCTIONAL BOOKLET.
89
00:03:52,097 --> 00:03:53,331
[sniffs]
90
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,032
UH,
91
00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:58,302
WHAT DOES "BAUNK WAUNK KAY,AY BAUNK WAUNK WAUNK AY,
92
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:01,806
BAUNK WAUNK WAUNK
BAUNK WAUNKA" MEAN?
93
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:02,941
ANY IDEAS?
94
00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:05,910
OH, THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.
95
00:04:05,978 --> 00:04:08,646
I GET TO BUILD IT AND LEARN
A WHOLE NEW COMPLEX LANGUAGE
AT THE SAME TIME.
96
00:04:08,714 --> 00:04:12,450
CHRIS, YOU CAN'T JUST
SLAP THAT TOGETHER.
IT TAKES REAL SKILL.
97
00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:14,819
EVEN SO, IT'LL
PROBABLY NEVER WORK.
98
00:04:15,754 --> 00:04:17,488
WELL,
99
00:04:17,556 --> 00:04:20,225
WOULD YOU HELP ME
BUILD MY SUBMARINE?
100
00:04:20,292 --> 00:04:22,627
I MEAN, THIS PROJECT
KINDA REEKS
101
00:04:22,694 --> 00:04:25,630
OF FATHER-SON
QUALITY TIME POTENTIAL.
102
00:04:25,697 --> 00:04:28,132
CHRIS, THERE'S ONLY
SO MANY HOURS IN THE DAY.
103
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,768
I CAN'T SPEND TIME WITH YOU
AND DRINK COFFEE.
104
00:04:34,707 --> 00:04:36,473
[birds chirping]
105
00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:39,477
OH, GREAT, YOU'RE HERE.
TERRIFIC.
106
00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:41,846
[chuckling]
GREAT, YOU'RE JUST IN TIME
FOR THE CHRISTENING.
107
00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:44,381
HEY, DAD, WHERE'S THAT
BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE
I ASKED YOU TO BUY?
108
00:04:44,449 --> 00:04:46,584
I DRANK IT.
109
00:04:46,652 --> 00:04:49,854
OK, WELL, HERE IT IS.
TIME FOR THE UNVEILING.
110
00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:50,922
[clears throat]
111
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,757
�[humming]
112
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,196
[exclaims]
113
00:05:03,735 --> 00:05:05,870
DOESN'T LOOK QUITE RIGHT.
114
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:09,774
WELL, THE PICTURE IN THE AD
WAS REALLY JUST A SUGGESTION.
115
00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:12,276
HAVE YOU GIVEN THIS DEATH TRAP
A NAME YET?
116
00:05:12,344 --> 00:05:14,411
YES, YES, UH, TONY.
117
00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:16,380
WELL, DON'T YOU GET IT?
118
00:05:16,448 --> 00:05:18,015
TONY, AS IN TONY THE TIGER.
119
00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:20,151
CORNFLAKES.
120
00:05:20,218 --> 00:05:21,553
[sighs]
121
00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:25,590
BECAUSE THERE'S NO
SUB... STITUTE FOR BREAKFAST.
122
00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:29,827
I THOUGHT I WAS HAMMERED.
123
00:05:29,895 --> 00:05:32,397
ALL RIGHT. NOW IT'S TIME
FOR THE INAUGURAL FIRING UP.
124
00:05:32,464 --> 00:05:37,034
NOW YOU BETTER STAND BACK
'CAUSE THIS BABY
RUNS ON 54 D BATTERIES.
125
00:05:37,102 --> 00:05:41,439
I'M GLAD WE FINALLY LEARNED
HOW TO HARNESS THAT POWER
FOR PEACEFUL USES.
126
00:05:42,441 --> 00:05:43,274
WHOA, WHOA.
127
00:05:43,341 --> 00:05:44,341
[sparking]
128
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:51,315
JEEZ.
129
00:05:51,383 --> 00:05:53,618
I THOUGHT I HAD THAT PROBLEM
WORKED OUT.
130
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,953
CHRIS, THIS IS TOO DANGEROUS.
131
00:05:56,021 --> 00:05:57,655
WHY, IF YOU HAD BEEN
INSIDE THAT THING,
132
00:05:57,723 --> 00:06:00,391
YOU WOULD HAVE BURNED UP
THAT NEW SHIRT
I JUST BOUGHT YOU.
133
00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:03,327
[sighing] MOM, DAD,
134
00:06:03,395 --> 00:06:07,499
I'M GONNA LET YOU IN
ON THE BIGGEST SECRET,
I'VE EVER KEPT FROM YOU.
135
00:06:07,566 --> 00:06:11,402
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE HELL I'M DOING
AND I'M SCARED.
136
00:06:11,470 --> 00:06:13,304
I THINK I BETTER
HELP THE SIMP.
137
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:14,972
OH, DAD.
138
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,274
THANKS, THANKS.
YOU DO LOVE ME AFTER ALL.
139
00:06:17,342 --> 00:06:19,844
OH, DON'T GO GETTING
MISTY-EYED,
140
00:06:19,912 --> 00:06:22,992
I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO
SEE THIS DUMP
GO UP IN FLAMES.
141
00:06:26,351 --> 00:06:27,752
[grunts]
142
00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:30,855
WELL, I'VE GOT TO ADMIT,
IT LOOKS PRETTY DAMN FINE.
143
00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:32,757
[chuckles]
144
00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:34,459
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT WAS KINDA FUN
PUTTING IT TOGETHER.
145
00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:38,797
AM I NUTS OR DID WE ACTUALLY
BOND FOR A SECOND THERE?
146
00:06:38,864 --> 00:06:42,233
NO, DAD, I THINK WE ACTUALLY
DID BOND FOR A SECOND.
147
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:45,069
YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY
I CRAZY-GLUED
YOUR EYELIDS SHUT.
148
00:06:45,137 --> 00:06:47,771
I JUST WANTED TO SEE
HOW FAR THAT THING
WOULD SQUIRT.
149
00:06:49,541 --> 00:06:50,808
WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
150
00:06:50,875 --> 00:06:52,476
TIME FOR IT'S
MAIDEN VOYAGE, HUH?
151
00:06:52,544 --> 00:06:54,345
HELP ME GET TONY
INTO THE BATHTUB.
152
00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:55,846
BATHTUB?
153
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,616
CHRIS, THIS ISN'T LIKE
ONE OF YOUR FISHER-PRICE TOYS.
154
00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:01,920
THIS IS A $20 PIECE
OF MACHINERY.
155
00:07:01,987 --> 00:07:05,556
YEAH, BUT, DAD,
DR. COUSTEAU TESTS
ALL HIS EQUIPMENT THIS WAY.
156
00:07:05,624 --> 00:07:07,257
I READ THAT ONCE.
157
00:07:07,325 --> 00:07:08,759
OR DREAMT IT.
158
00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:10,707
AND... AND THAT'S WHY
ABOUT 5 YEARS AGO,
159
00:07:10,729 --> 00:07:14,265
I SPENT THE WEEKEND SEALING UP
MY TUB IN ANTICIPATION
OF THIS VERY MOMENT.
160
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,867
AT THIS POINT, CHRIS,
161
00:07:16,935 --> 00:07:19,055
OUR QUALITY TIME
IS OFFICIALLY OVER,
162
00:07:19,104 --> 00:07:21,706
AND MY COFFEE TIME
HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN.
163
00:07:21,773 --> 00:07:23,440
OH, OK, DAD, SURE.
164
00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:26,344
NO, YOU-YOU'RE RIGHT.
I-I'LL JUST TEST IT MYSELF.
165
00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:29,379
I-I'LL TAKE IT OUT BACK
TO THAT WEIRD POND
BEHIND THE SEWAGE PLANT.
166
00:07:29,447 --> 00:07:31,281
I'M SURE I WON'T COME BACK
WITH ANY DISEASES
167
00:07:31,349 --> 00:07:33,350
THAT COULD INFECT
THE ENTIRE FAMILY,
SO DON'T WORRY...
168
00:07:33,418 --> 00:07:36,253
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
YOU GOT ME
FOR ANOTHER 10 MINUTES.
169
00:07:36,388 --> 00:07:37,655
[chuckling]
GREAT. THANKS.
170
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,190
OK. YOU GRAB THE BACK.
171
00:07:39,257 --> 00:07:40,224
ON 3.
172
00:07:40,292 --> 00:07:42,927
1, 2, 3.
173
00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:45,396
(Chris)
IT'S GREAT TO FEEL
THE SEA AGAIN, ISN'T IT?
174
00:07:45,463 --> 00:07:47,431
NOW, THERE ARE
A FEW NAUTICAL RULES
175
00:07:47,499 --> 00:07:49,266
THAT I HAVE TO
FAMILIARIZE YOU WITH.
176
00:07:49,334 --> 00:07:52,736
UH, TO BEGIN WITH,
I AM THE EL CAPITAN. OK?
177
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,607
AND YOU ARE
THE FIRST CHAMBERMAID.
178
00:07:55,674 --> 00:07:58,109
YOU'LL OBEY ALL ORDERS
WITHOUT QUESTION,
179
00:07:58,176 --> 00:08:00,337
[electronic humming]
YOU WILL SPEAK
ONLY WHEN SPOKEN TO,
180
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:03,214
AND YOU WILL NOT,
UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, SIR,
181
00:08:03,281 --> 00:08:06,150
DISABLE ANY OF
THE SMOKE ALARMS
IN THE RESTROOMS.
182
00:08:06,218 --> 00:08:08,185
OTHER THAN THAT,
ENJOY THE BUFFET.
183
00:08:08,253 --> 00:08:09,486
CHRIS, I GOTTA GO.
184
00:08:09,554 --> 00:08:11,522
I FEEL A CASE
OF THE BENDS COMING ON.
185
00:08:11,590 --> 00:08:13,691
OH, I'M SORRY.
WOULD YOU LIKE A ROLAIDS?
186
00:08:15,994 --> 00:08:17,028
[gasping]
187
00:08:17,095 --> 00:08:18,095
WOW.
188
00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:19,730
[chuckles]
189
00:08:19,798 --> 00:08:22,158
IT'S LIKE ANOTHER WORLD
DOWN HERE, ISN'T IT?
190
00:08:23,134 --> 00:08:25,202
OH, DAD, LOOK.
LOOK.
191
00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:27,171
AN OLD BOOT. HUH.
192
00:08:27,238 --> 00:08:31,375
NO DOUBT CAST OVERBOARD
LONG AGO BY SOME
ANCIENT MARINER.
193
00:08:31,443 --> 00:08:33,411
CHRIS, THAT'S ONE
OF YOUR SLIPPERS.
194
00:08:33,478 --> 00:08:34,511
OH.
195
00:08:34,579 --> 00:08:35,679
OH, YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
196
00:08:35,747 --> 00:08:37,081
[chuckling] I'M SORRY.
197
00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:39,250
I JUST GOT CAUGHT UP
IN THE MOMENT.
198
00:08:39,317 --> 00:08:41,252
IT'S LIKE THE REAL THING
DOWN HERE.
199
00:08:41,319 --> 00:08:43,487
ALMOST BETTER.
200
00:08:43,555 --> 00:08:46,891
WELL, SAY,
NOW THAT YOU'RE
GETTIN' INTO THE SPIRIT,
201
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:49,260
I THINK IT'S TIME
FOR YOUR LITTLE
ONBOARD SURPRISE.
202
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:50,995
[chuckles]
203
00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:52,063
HATS.
204
00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:53,998
HERE YOU GO.
205
00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:55,066
MMM-HMM.
206
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:02,006
NOW WE'RE LIKE
JACQUES COUSTEAU,
AND HIS SON, PHILIPPE.
207
00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:03,674
BONJOUR. BONJOUR, PHILIPPE.
208
00:09:03,742 --> 00:09:05,409
[chuckling] PHILIPPE, PHILIPPE.
209
00:09:05,477 --> 00:09:07,211
PHILIPPE, THERE ARE
SWIMMING MONKEYS.
210
00:09:07,279 --> 00:09:09,613
AND THEY'RE COMING TOWARDS US
AND THEY'RE ARMED.
211
00:09:09,681 --> 00:09:13,250
WE MUST RETALIATE
AGAINST THIS AGGRESSIVE ACTION
AGAINST OUR PEACEFUL VESSEL.
212
00:09:13,318 --> 00:09:14,318
[bells ringing]
213
00:09:17,055 --> 00:09:18,957
OH, I'M SUCH A HOOT, AREN'T I?
214
00:09:20,158 --> 00:09:21,792
CHRIS, I SHOULD INFORM YOU,
215
00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:24,228
I'VE COMPLETELY LOST INTEREST
IN THIS.
216
00:09:24,295 --> 00:09:25,896
OH.
217
00:09:25,964 --> 00:09:28,933
WELL, YOU'LL LIKE IT BETTER
WHEN YOU LOOK THROUGH
THE PERISCOPE.
218
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,234
PERISCOPE UP!
219
00:09:32,237 --> 00:09:33,771
ALL RIGHT. I'LL DO IT.
220
00:09:35,073 --> 00:09:36,206
WOW.
221
00:09:36,274 --> 00:09:37,207
[laughs]
222
00:09:37,275 --> 00:09:38,709
NEAT.
223
00:09:38,777 --> 00:09:41,145
[laughing] COOL.
224
00:09:41,212 --> 00:09:43,447
�[Chris humming]
225
00:09:47,652 --> 00:09:49,053
OH, THAT DOES IT.
226
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:50,388
I'M OUT OF HERE.
227
00:09:54,593 --> 00:09:55,627
IT'S... IT'S STUCK.
228
00:09:55,694 --> 00:09:59,664
HUH? WELL, UH, MAYBE IT
RUSTED SHUT FROM AGE.
229
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:02,433
IT'S ONLY BEEN WET
FOR A MINUTE.
230
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,737
ALL RIGHT, UH,
DON'T... DON'T WORRY, DAD, UH,
231
00:10:05,804 --> 00:10:09,207
AC-ACCORDING TO THESE
INSTRUCTIONS HERE,
THERE'S... THERE'S...
232
00:10:09,274 --> 00:10:12,109
OH, THERE'S ENOUGH AIR IN HERE
FOR A FULL 20 MINUTES.
233
00:10:12,177 --> 00:10:15,613
HUH, MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME,
FOR THE NAVY SEAL RESCUE SQUAD
TO COME
234
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:17,215
AND TAKE US TO SAFETY.
235
00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:29,694
[grunting]
236
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,095
AND THERE WE GO.
237
00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:36,200
SEE, DAD, I'VE MANAGED TO
PLUG THE FLOW OF WATER
WITH THE PERISCOPE.
238
00:10:36,268 --> 00:10:38,535
GOOD GOING, CHRIS.
WE'RE DYIN' IN HERE,
239
00:10:38,603 --> 00:10:41,405
BUT AT LEAST THE WATER BILL
WILL BE MANAGEABLE.
240
00:10:41,473 --> 00:10:44,475
I... I KNOW IT SAID THAT
WE ONLY HAVE 20 MINUTES
OF AIR IN HERE,
241
00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:47,211
BUT, UH, I'M SURE
THAT'S JUST AN APPROXIMATION.
242
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:48,880
IF WE BREATHE SLOWER,
243
00:10:48,947 --> 00:10:51,215
AND UH, IF WE CUT DOWN
ON THE, UH,
244
00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:54,285
THE YAP-YAP, PLEASE, SIR?
245
00:10:54,352 --> 00:10:57,288
IF YOU COULD, I THINK, UH,
WE COULD PROBABLY
STRETCH THAT OUT
246
00:10:57,355 --> 00:10:59,423
FOR ANOTHER 36 SECONDS.
247
00:10:59,491 --> 00:11:01,225
YOU KNOW, WE MUST ALREADY
BE LOW ON AIR,
248
00:11:01,292 --> 00:11:04,094
BECAUSE YOU'RE STARTING
TO MAKE SENSE TO ME.
249
00:11:04,162 --> 00:11:07,932
WE ALSO, BY THE WAY, SHOULD
ECONOMIZE OUR MOVEMENTS
AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
250
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,101
UH, SEE THAT'S,
DUH, WUH, YEAH.
251
00:11:12,404 --> 00:11:14,271
PLEASE.
252
00:11:14,339 --> 00:11:17,241
NOW THE UNFORTUNATE THING IS,
IT'S TIME
FOR MY DAILY EXERCISES THOUGH.
253
00:11:17,308 --> 00:11:19,977
SO, WOULD YOU JUST HOLD
MY FEET FIRMLY IF YOU COULD?
254
00:11:20,045 --> 00:11:21,746
NO.
255
00:11:21,813 --> 00:11:24,449
ALL RIGHT. FINE, DAD,
BUT IF I DON'T DO
6 SIT-UPS A DAY,
256
00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:26,050
MY SVELTE FIGURE
GOES STRAIGHT TO HELL.
257
00:11:26,117 --> 00:11:27,684
JUST GET US OUT OF HERE.
258
00:11:27,752 --> 00:11:29,087
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
259
00:11:29,154 --> 00:11:30,788
I-I'LL CALL
ON THE SHIP-TO-SHORE RADIO
FOR HELP.
260
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:31,889
[clears throat]
261
00:11:31,957 --> 00:11:33,757
[clicking switch]
262
00:11:33,825 --> 00:11:35,059
HELLO. HELLO, BREAKER.
263
00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:37,161
BREAKER 1, 2, 3.
BREAKER, UH,
264
00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:39,730
THIS IS "TIGHT PANTS,"
ANYBODY GOT THEIR EARS ON?
265
00:11:39,797 --> 00:11:42,566
YEAH, I NEED, UH,
I NEED A GOOD BUDDY
TO COME TO MY 20
266
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:46,037
AND LEND ASSISTANCE TO,
UH, "TIGHT PANTS SENIOR"
AND MYSELF.
267
00:11:46,104 --> 00:11:48,840
COPY THAT? ANYBODY COPY THAT?
COME BACK.
268
00:11:48,907 --> 00:11:50,875
10, 10, I'M 10, 10,
ON YOUR 20.
269
00:11:52,510 --> 00:11:53,677
CHRIS,
HMM?
270
00:11:53,745 --> 00:11:57,781
THAT'S JUST A PLASTIC TOY.
NOBODY CAN HEAR YOU.
271
00:11:57,849 --> 00:12:00,718
I GUESS I'M JUST GONNA
HAVE TO DO THIS MANUALLY THEN.
272
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:02,720
OK.
273
00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:04,622
[yelling] HELP!
274
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:05,723
HELP!
275
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:07,258
[inaudible]
276
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,268
THAT SOUNDS LIKE
CHRIS SCREAMING,
277
00:12:17,335 --> 00:12:19,616
AS IF HE'S TRAPPED
UNDER A LOT OF WATER.
278
00:12:20,705 --> 00:12:22,874
OH, THAT'S SILLY.
279
00:12:22,941 --> 00:12:26,102
IT'S PROBABLY JUST ONE OF
THE NEIGHBORHOOD CATS,
GETTING RUN OVER.
280
00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:29,113
[sighs]
281
00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:30,348
[Chris screaming] HELP!
282
00:12:30,415 --> 00:12:32,716
HELP!
283
00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:34,618
HELP!
284
00:12:34,686 --> 00:12:35,719
[sobbing]
285
00:12:35,787 --> 00:12:36,720
[sighs]
286
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:37,788
[sighs]
287
00:12:37,855 --> 00:12:39,255
GUESS I SHOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN SO COCKY
288
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:41,792
ABOUT LIVING THIS LONG
WITHOUT HEARING LOSS.
289
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:43,760
ALL RIGHT.
290
00:12:43,828 --> 00:12:45,929
WELL, THE WORST THING
WE COULD DO IS PANIC, OK?
291
00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:48,665
LET'S... LET'S TRY NOT TO THINK
ABOUT DYING, ALL RIGHT?
292
00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:50,667
JUST DON'T THINK ABOUT,
293
00:12:50,735 --> 00:12:55,106
YOU KNOW, YOUR... YOUR CHEST
HEAVING FOR EVERY LAST
SCRAP OF AIR,
294
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:58,009
[panting]
AND YOUR... YOUR
295
00:12:58,076 --> 00:13:01,878
BLOOD TURNING PURPLE
FROM LACK OF HELIUM.
296
00:13:01,946 --> 00:13:05,149
AND YOUR... YOUR EYES BULGING
297
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:07,151
AND... AND POPPING OUT
AND BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS
298
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:09,220
LIKE SO MANY BALLS
IN A GYMNASIUM.
299
00:13:09,287 --> 00:13:10,687
[gasping]
300
00:13:10,755 --> 00:13:12,823
[screaming]
301
00:13:14,426 --> 00:13:17,361
HELP! HELP! HELP!
302
00:13:19,631 --> 00:13:21,999
I'M... I'M SORRY
YOU HAD TO DO THAT.
303
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:24,802
ARE YOU KIDDING?
THAT'S MORE FUN
THAN I'VE HAD ALL YEAR.
304
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,637
FREAK OUT ANYTIME.
305
00:13:26,704 --> 00:13:28,372
DAD, I'M NOT THAT
OUT OF CONTROL.
306
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,507
[snickers]
307
00:13:30,575 --> 00:13:32,243
[yelling]
SQUID! SQUID!
308
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:33,710
[screaming]
309
00:13:35,313 --> 00:13:38,315
THIS IS TURNING OUT TO BE
AN OK TRIP AFTER ALL.
310
00:13:39,751 --> 00:13:41,219
KNOCK, KNOCK.
311
00:13:41,286 --> 00:13:42,653
(Larry)
HELLO? MRS. PETERSON?
312
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,055
(Gladys) OH, HI.
313
00:13:44,122 --> 00:13:46,858
HI. IT'S THAT TIME
OF YEAR AGAIN.
314
00:13:46,925 --> 00:13:48,659
TIME FOR
MY ANNUAL DISTRIBUTION
315
00:13:48,726 --> 00:13:50,887
OF MY SPECIAL GERMAN
CHOCOLATE DIVINITY SQUARES
316
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:52,596
TO ALL THE FOLKS
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
317
00:13:52,664 --> 00:13:54,765
NOW I KNOW HOW EVERYONE
LOOKS FORWARD TO IT.
318
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:57,335
ESPECIALLY MR. PETERSON.
SO THERE YOU GO.
319
00:13:57,402 --> 00:14:01,972
OH, WELL. THEY LOOK
SO LOVELY AGAIN, DEAR.
320
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:02,940
WHERE'S CHRIS?
321
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,875
UP IN HIS ROOM PLAYING.
322
00:14:04,942 --> 00:14:07,862
REMEMBER OUR DEAL.
WHEN WE CAME HERE YOU SAID
THAT I COULD SAY "HI" TO HIM.
323
00:14:07,879 --> 00:14:09,647
YES, BUT JUST
FOR 5 MINUTES.
324
00:14:09,715 --> 00:14:11,315
AND I AM TIMING.
325
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:12,783
THANK YOU AGAIN, DEAR.
326
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:15,185
THEY SMELL SO WONDERFUL.
327
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:17,688
IF THIS YEAR IS
ANYTHING LIKE
LAST YEAR,
328
00:14:17,756 --> 00:14:19,390
THEY WON'T BE AROUND LONG.
329
00:14:19,457 --> 00:14:20,697
[laughing] OH.
330
00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:22,626
[sighs]
331
00:14:22,694 --> 00:14:24,595
[footsteps receding]
332
00:14:29,901 --> 00:14:32,103
AND THEN THE EYES
ROLL BACK IN THE HEAD.
333
00:14:33,338 --> 00:14:34,905
THE SHARKS' EYES.
334
00:14:34,973 --> 00:14:37,174
THEY'RE NOT
LIKE A HUMAN'S EYES,
335
00:14:37,242 --> 00:14:38,943
THEY'RE BLACK.
336
00:14:39,010 --> 00:14:41,912
IT'S LIKE A DOLL'S EYE.
337
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:45,249
AND THEN YOU HEAR THAT
HORRIBLE HIGH-PITCHED SCREAM.
338
00:14:47,518 --> 00:14:49,553
YOU GO IN THE CAGE,
339
00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:51,756
CAGE GOES IN THE WATER,
340
00:14:51,823 --> 00:14:53,057
SHARK IN THE WATER.
341
00:14:54,993 --> 00:14:59,196
� FAREWELL AND ADIEU
TO YOU SPANISH LADIES �
342
00:14:59,264 --> 00:15:02,199
� FAREWELL AND ADIEU
TO YOU �
343
00:15:02,267 --> 00:15:03,433
WOULD YOU PIPE DOWN?
344
00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:05,669
I'M TRYING TO FINISH
THIS CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
345
00:15:05,737 --> 00:15:07,171
OH, I'M SORRY.
346
00:15:07,238 --> 00:15:09,774
WOULD YOU PREFER A SCENE
FROM SOPHIE'S CHOICE?
347
00:15:10,808 --> 00:15:12,543
HELLO? CHRIS?
348
00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:13,944
[birds chirping]
349
00:15:14,479 --> 00:15:16,379
OH.
350
00:15:16,447 --> 00:15:19,016
SO THIS IS THE DEPTH,
TO WHICH A MAN WILL SINK
351
00:15:19,083 --> 00:15:20,851
WITHOUT THE INFLUENCE
OF A WOMAN.
352
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,152
PRETTY COOL, HUH?
353
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:23,754
[sighs]
354
00:15:23,822 --> 00:15:26,423
WELL, LARRY, THAT'S WEIRD.
355
00:15:26,491 --> 00:15:29,459
DIDN'T THE PIZZA BARGE
CLOSE DOWN
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO?
356
00:15:29,527 --> 00:15:30,528
YEAH?
357
00:15:31,195 --> 00:15:32,997
OH.
358
00:15:33,064 --> 00:15:36,266
OH, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER
THAN TO TOUCH ANYTHING OF HIS.
359
00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:38,035
I'M GONNA GO WASH MY HANDS.
360
00:15:38,102 --> 00:15:40,404
NOT THAT THE BATHROOM
ISN'T ANOTHER HELL-HOLE.
361
00:15:45,243 --> 00:15:47,010
WELL, THAT'S INTERESTING.
362
00:15:47,078 --> 00:15:48,713
SHARON JUST WALKED IN.
363
00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:51,515
MAYBE SHE'LL TAKE
HER CLOTHES OFF,
IF SHE DOESN'T NOTICE US.
364
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:54,385
GET HER ATTENTION.
AND PUT OUT THE DAMN PIPE.
365
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:55,920
OH, I'M SORRY.
366
00:15:57,556 --> 00:15:59,089
HEY, HEY!
367
00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:00,190
HEY!
368
00:16:08,366 --> 00:16:10,433
WHAT? WHAT DO YOU... HUH?
369
00:16:10,501 --> 00:16:12,269
[speaking gibberish]
370
00:16:12,336 --> 00:16:14,304
I DON'T THINK
SHE'S GETTING THE MESSAGE.
371
00:16:14,372 --> 00:16:15,606
SHE CAN'T HEAR YOU, CHRIS.
372
00:16:15,673 --> 00:16:16,740
WRITE HER SOMETHING.
373
00:16:16,808 --> 00:16:18,275
OH. UH...
374
00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,010
[pen scratching]
375
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,795
WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
WHERE'S SHE GOIN'?
376
00:16:38,863 --> 00:16:40,230
WHERE'S SHE GOIN'?
377
00:16:40,298 --> 00:16:42,066
WHAT ARE YOU...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
378
00:16:44,102 --> 00:16:45,603
(Larry)
WHAT'S THE MATTER, HONEY?
379
00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:47,538
IS CHRIS IN THERE?
380
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:52,776
LARRY, HE IS DOING
SOMETHING SO WEIRD
IN THERE THAT, UH...
381
00:16:52,844 --> 00:16:56,480
WELL, I'M NOT EVEN GOING
TO LET YOU SEE IT.
382
00:16:56,548 --> 00:16:59,917
WHY DIDN'T YOU WRITE
THAT WE'RE DYING IN HERE?
383
00:16:59,985 --> 00:17:02,786
WELL, DAD, YOU DON'T JUST
BLURT OUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
384
00:17:02,853 --> 00:17:04,288
JEEZ.
385
00:17:04,355 --> 00:17:06,856
WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO THE ART OF CONVERSATION?
COME ON.
386
00:17:06,924 --> 00:17:08,964
NOW LOOK, DON'T WORRY.
I'M SURE SHE GOT THE MESSAGE.
387
00:17:09,027 --> 00:17:10,760
I'M SURE SHE'S GOING
FOR HELP RIGHT NOW.
388
00:17:10,828 --> 00:17:14,431
YOU'LL PARDON THE EXPRESSION,
BUT, "DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH."
389
00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:18,835
[dripping]
390
00:17:20,338 --> 00:17:22,239
WHY AM I SWEATING?
391
00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:24,641
OH, THE CEILING IS SWEATING.
392
00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:27,077
IT'S UNUSUAL, BUT HARDLY
WORTH INVESTIGATING.
393
00:17:29,247 --> 00:17:30,580
[buzzing]
394
00:17:30,648 --> 00:17:32,750
UH. UH.
395
00:17:33,417 --> 00:17:34,785
[knocking]
396
00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:37,354
WELL, AT LEAST YOUR MOTHER
WILL BE ABLE TO
397
00:17:37,421 --> 00:17:39,557
COLLECT ON THE INSURANCE
AND BE RICH
398
00:17:39,624 --> 00:17:42,225
LIKE SHE ALWAYS WANTED.
399
00:17:42,293 --> 00:17:45,829
THERE'S JUST ENOUGH TIME LEFT,
FOR YOU AND ME TO OPEN UP
TO EACH OTHER.
400
00:17:45,897 --> 00:17:48,431
DAD IS THERE SOMETHING,
YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO SAY TO ME,
401
00:17:48,499 --> 00:17:49,900
BUT WAS NEVER ABLE TO?
402
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:51,936
LOOK DEEP WITHIN YOURSELF.
403
00:17:52,837 --> 00:17:55,473
NO, I'M... I'M,
DRAWING A BLANK. SORRY.
404
00:17:56,675 --> 00:17:58,041
LOOK DEEPER.
405
00:17:58,109 --> 00:18:00,010
CHRIS, THE ONLY THING
I CAN THINK ABOUT,
406
00:18:00,077 --> 00:18:05,048
IS THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE
THE MOST EMBARRASSING OBITUARY
TO EVER HIT THE PAPERS.
407
00:18:05,116 --> 00:18:07,851
DAD, I... I HATE TO CORRECT YOU
IN SUCH A DIRE MOMENT,
408
00:18:07,919 --> 00:18:10,687
BUT, I THINK, THE GUY
WHO ELECTROCUTED HIMSELF
409
00:18:10,755 --> 00:18:13,557
URINATING
ON THE ELECTRIC FENCE
HOLDS THAT HONOR.
410
00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:16,026
CHRIS, I JUST THOUGHT
OF SOMETHING
I WANT TO SAY TO YOU.
411
00:18:16,093 --> 00:18:17,328
CLAM UP.
412
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:19,970
IS... IS THAT FROM THE HEART?
413
00:18:20,031 --> 00:18:21,765
YES.
414
00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:24,568
WELL, THEN, THAT'S WHAT
I'M GONNA DO FOR YOU, FATHER.
415
00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:26,703
FOR OUR FINAL MOMENTS
TOGETHER.
416
00:18:26,771 --> 00:18:28,639
I'M NOT GONNA SAY A PEEP.
417
00:18:30,241 --> 00:18:31,509
[chuckles]
418
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,777
WELL, THAT'S REALLY
NICE OF YOU, CHRIS.
419
00:18:33,845 --> 00:18:35,712
I REALLY DO APPRECIATE IT.
420
00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:38,649
IT'S ALMOST, WELL,
LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE.
421
00:18:43,654 --> 00:18:45,089
[grunting]
422
00:18:51,963 --> 00:18:55,299
I CAN'T DO IT!
I CAN'T DO IT.
423
00:18:55,366 --> 00:18:57,601
I'M A BABBLING IDIOT
NOW AND FOREVER.
424
00:18:58,569 --> 00:19:00,004
I AM WHAT I AM.
425
00:19:00,071 --> 00:19:01,805
OH, TAKE IT EASY.
426
00:19:01,873 --> 00:19:04,774
I'VE KNOWN THAT
SINCE THE DAY
YOU WERE CONCEIVED.
427
00:19:04,842 --> 00:19:07,577
DON'T FEEL TOO BAD,
YOU WENT ALMOST A MINUTE.
428
00:19:07,645 --> 00:19:09,146
BUT YOU'RE PROUD OF ME?
429
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:10,414
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
430
00:19:11,049 --> 00:19:12,716
OH.
431
00:19:12,783 --> 00:19:16,353
WELL, OK, I'M... I'M
PROUD OF YOU.
432
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:18,788
OH, OH, THANKS, DAD,
433
00:19:18,856 --> 00:19:20,336
YOU'RE... YOU'RE
ACTUALLY PROUD OF ME.
434
00:19:20,391 --> 00:19:22,326
WOW. A NUGGET OF ACCEPTANCE.
435
00:19:22,393 --> 00:19:23,493
BOY!
436
00:19:23,561 --> 00:19:25,696
JEEZ. TSK. YOU KNOW WHAT?
437
00:19:25,763 --> 00:19:29,333
[chuckling]
I'M NOW SEEING WHY ALL THIS
IS HAPPENING TO US.
438
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,736
IT'S REALLY KIND OF
A BLESSING, ISN'T IT?
439
00:19:32,803 --> 00:19:34,371
GIVE ME A BREAK.
440
00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:47,251
TSK. I'M SORRY.
I'M... I'M JUST SOAKING UP
441
00:19:47,319 --> 00:19:51,755
THIS NEW FATHER AND SON THING
THAT WE'VE GOT GOING HERE.
442
00:19:51,822 --> 00:19:53,690
IT'S... IT'S PRETTY WONDERFUL
IN MY BOOK.
443
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,359
[pipe breaks]
444
00:19:55,426 --> 00:19:56,660
[groaning]
445
00:19:57,395 --> 00:19:58,929
JEEZ!
446
00:19:58,997 --> 00:20:01,265
HOW MANY PEOPLE GET A CHANCE
TO SUFFOCATE AND DROWN?
447
00:20:02,733 --> 00:20:04,168
92.
448
00:20:04,235 --> 00:20:05,736
I DON'T KNOW THAT ANSWER
FOR SURE.
449
00:20:05,803 --> 00:20:07,037
I WAS JUST GUESSING.
450
00:20:07,872 --> 00:20:08,872
FATHER?
451
00:20:09,607 --> 00:20:10,607
[gasping]
452
00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:16,213
BEFORE WE BOTH GO TO THAT
BIG U-BOAT DOCK IN THE SKY,
453
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:18,415
COULD I HAVE ONE LAST HUG?
454
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:20,985
OK, OK. BUT WATCH YOUR HANDS.
455
00:20:21,052 --> 00:20:22,352
OH, THANK YOU.
456
00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:24,221
POPS, I LOVE YOU, POPS.
457
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:25,855
OH.
458
00:20:25,923 --> 00:20:28,892
HEY, I WASN'T SUCH A BAD SON
AFTER ALL, WAS I?
459
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,095
[water dripping]
NO, YOU WEREN'T.
460
00:20:31,162 --> 00:20:34,464
BOY, AT A TIME LIKE THIS
YOU'LL SAY ANYTHING
TO GET TO HEAVEN, WON'T YOU?
461
00:20:37,902 --> 00:20:41,971
JEEZ! WHAT'S KEEPING
THIS DAMN WATER SO LONG?
462
00:20:42,039 --> 00:20:45,875
OH. YOU KNOW WHAT
THE MOST AMAZING THING IS
ABOUT ALL THIS IS?
463
00:20:45,943 --> 00:20:47,844
IS THAT THE FLOOR
OF MY BATHROOM
464
00:20:47,912 --> 00:20:49,392
CAN HOLD THE WEIGHT
OF ALL THIS WATER.
465
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:50,780
[rattling]
466
00:21:05,396 --> 00:21:06,497
OH.
467
00:21:06,564 --> 00:21:07,864
[Chris groans]
468
00:21:07,932 --> 00:21:08,932
WOO.
469
00:21:08,999 --> 00:21:10,239
[sniffing]
470
00:21:11,469 --> 00:21:12,936
EW.
471
00:21:13,003 --> 00:21:16,283
DO I SMELL SHARON'S
GERMAN SWEET CHOCOLATE
DIVINITY CRAP?
472
00:21:18,509 --> 00:21:21,645
CHRIS, WHAT DID WE TELL YOU
ABOUT PUTTING EXCESSIVE WEIGHT
IN YOUR ROOM,
473
00:21:21,712 --> 00:21:25,014
WHICH OUR HOUSE,
STRUCTURALLY,
CANNOT HANDLE?
474
00:21:25,082 --> 00:21:27,162
ALL RIGHT. DON'T WORRY, MOM.
I'M GONNA WRITE A LETTER
475
00:21:27,184 --> 00:21:30,187
TO THAT FLIMFLAM
SUBMARINE CORPORATION
ABOUT MY EXTREME DISPLEASURE
476
00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:31,655
WITH THEIR PRODUCT.
477
00:21:31,722 --> 00:21:35,325
AND ONE WAY OR ANOTHER,
I'M GONNA GET MY MONEY BACK.
478
00:21:35,393 --> 00:21:37,527
NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES.
479
00:21:39,897 --> 00:21:42,166
(Chris)"DEAR MR. PETERSON,
480
00:21:42,233 --> 00:21:44,868
"THANK YOU FOR YOUR LETTER.
481
00:21:44,935 --> 00:21:49,072
"WE'RE SORRY THATIT HAS TAKEN US SO LONG
482
00:21:49,139 --> 00:21:51,475
"TO RESPOND.
483
00:21:51,542 --> 00:21:55,712
"WE WILL GLADLY REIMBURSE YOUFOR YOUR SUBMARINE.
484
00:21:56,914 --> 00:21:59,383
"PLEASE RETURN IT
485
00:21:59,450 --> 00:22:02,086
"IN IT'S ORIGINAL PACKAGING
486
00:22:02,153 --> 00:22:04,654
FOR A FULL REFUND."
487
00:22:06,057 --> 00:22:07,056
LIFE
488
00:22:08,659 --> 00:22:12,796
IS JUST TOO DAMN SHORT.
489
00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:17,334
[gasping]
490
00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:18,602
[choking]35408
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