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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,868 --> 00:00:04,869 (Chris) DEAR DIARY, REMEMBER ME? 2 00:00:04,937 --> 00:00:07,972 I'M THE GUY WHO STOLE YOU FROM WOOLWORTH'S ABOUT 20 YEARS AGO. 3 00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:09,760 I REALIZE I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN YOU 4 00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:12,310 SINCE I DUG UP THAT GIANT EARTHWORM WHEN I WAS 12. 5 00:00:12,378 --> 00:00:14,212 BUT THAT'S THE BREAKS. SUE ME. 6 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,380 [chuckling] 7 00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:17,582 ANYWAY, NOTHING MUCH IS NEW. 8 00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:19,084 I'M STILL A PAPERBOY. 9 00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:20,752 OH, AND I'M HAVING SEX NOW. 10 00:00:20,819 --> 00:00:22,920 SO THAT'S A BIG HELP. 11 00:00:22,988 --> 00:00:24,822 THE MAIN REASON I'M WRITING YOU HOWEVER, 12 00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:27,392 IS TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE WONDERFUL, ENCHANTING EVENTS 13 00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:29,027 THAT BEFELL ME LAST WEEK. 14 00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:32,063 EVENTS THAT HAVE CAUSED ME TO FOREVER ALTER MY PERCEPTION 15 00:00:32,130 --> 00:00:37,001 OF THIS CRAZY, TOPSY-TURVY, BUTTERY THING WE CALL LIFE. 16 00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:40,405 IT ALL STARTED ABOUT 7 A.M. LAST MONDAY. 17 00:00:40,473 --> 00:00:43,541 SO, MOM, DAD, WHAT'S UP FOR TODAY? ANY BIG PLANS? 18 00:00:43,609 --> 00:00:45,443 WELL, ACTUALLY WE WERE THINKING OF LOOKING THROUGH 19 00:00:45,511 --> 00:00:47,991 SOME MAGAZINES LATER ON IF WE'RE NOT TOO TIRED. 20 00:00:48,013 --> 00:00:50,848 NO, GLADYS, THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE PLANNED FOR NEXT WEEK. 21 00:00:50,916 --> 00:00:52,617 THIS IS THE DAY THE WORKERS ARRIVE 22 00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:54,685 TO START WORK ON THE KITCHEN. 23 00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:56,054 WORKERS? 24 00:00:56,955 --> 00:00:58,790 DIDN'T WE TELL YOU? 25 00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:01,793 YOUR FATHER HAS FINALLY AGREED TO EXPAND THE KITCHEN BY 6 INCHES. 26 00:01:01,861 --> 00:01:04,895 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO WITH ALL THAT EXTRA SPACE. 27 00:01:04,963 --> 00:01:07,632 WORKERS, AS IN CONSTRUCTION WORKERS? 28 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,801 AS IN THE GUYS WHO WEAR HARD HATS AND TOOL BELTS 29 00:01:09,868 --> 00:01:11,369 AND HAVE BRILL CREAM IN THEIR HAIR? 30 00:01:11,437 --> 00:01:12,804 THAT'S RIGHT. 31 00:01:12,872 --> 00:01:15,072 THE KIND OF GUYS THAT... THAT USE FOUL LANGUAGE, 32 00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:17,108 AND HAVE WIVES NAMED BONNIE 33 00:01:17,176 --> 00:01:19,310 AND, DARE I SAY IT, STINK? 34 00:01:20,446 --> 00:01:22,947 YES, I SUPPOSE, EVENTUALLY THEY WILL STINK. 35 00:01:23,015 --> 00:01:24,482 [exclaims] 36 00:01:24,549 --> 00:01:27,318 YES, YES, I'M SO EXCITED. WHEN DO THEY GET HERE? 37 00:01:27,419 --> 00:01:30,488 HOLD ON NOW, BOY, THROW IT INTO REVERSE. 38 00:01:30,556 --> 00:01:33,391 BEFORE YOUR BRAIN EXPLODES, LISTEN UP. 39 00:01:33,459 --> 00:01:35,993 YOU ARE NOT TO TALK TO THEM, BOTHER THEM, 40 00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:37,528 OR STARE AT THEM. 41 00:01:37,596 --> 00:01:39,397 IF HISTORY TELLS US ANYTHING, 42 00:01:39,465 --> 00:01:42,600 IT'S THAT YOU HAVE A TENDENCY TO DRIVE PEOPLE NUTS. 43 00:01:42,668 --> 00:01:44,502 [banging on door] 44 00:01:44,569 --> 00:01:46,771 OH, THEY'RE HERE, THEY'RE HERE. 45 00:01:46,839 --> 00:01:49,874 [Chris chuckling] 46 00:01:49,942 --> 00:01:53,144 MAYBE THEY'LL SMOKE CIGARS. WOULDN'T THAT BE A BONUS? 47 00:01:54,647 --> 00:01:57,649 COME IN, CONSTRUCTION WORKERS. OH, DO COME IN. 48 00:02:25,911 --> 00:02:28,847 (Chris) THEY WERE MORE MAGNIFICENT THAN I HAD IMAGINED. 49 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:31,549 I HAD READ EVERY BOOK AND SEEN EVERY PLAY AND MOVIE 50 00:02:31,617 --> 00:02:33,151 ABOUT CONSTRUCTION WORKERS. 51 00:02:33,218 --> 00:02:35,554 YET NOTHING PREPARED ME FOR THE INCREDIBLE SURGE 52 00:02:35,621 --> 00:02:37,188 OF JOY AND AWE I FELT 53 00:02:37,256 --> 00:02:39,357 WHEN THESE GLORIOUS, MYTHICAL CREATURES 54 00:02:39,424 --> 00:02:41,425 WALKED THROUGH THAT DOOR. 55 00:02:44,096 --> 00:02:46,564 THE GODS HAD DESCENDED FROM HEAVEN 56 00:02:46,631 --> 00:02:49,433 AND WERE NOW STANDING IN MY PARENTS' KITCHEN. 57 00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:51,602 �[Stand by R.E.M playing] 58 00:02:58,177 --> 00:03:00,878 � STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU LIVE � 59 00:03:00,946 --> 00:03:02,581 � NOW FACE NORTH 60 00:03:02,648 --> 00:03:04,182 � THINK ABOUT DIRECTION 61 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,518 � WONDER WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEFORE � 62 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:09,821 � NOW STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU WORK � 63 00:03:09,888 --> 00:03:11,556 � NOW FACE WEST 64 00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:13,658 � THINK ABOUT THE PLACE WHERE YOU LIVE � 65 00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:15,594 � WONDER WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEFORE � 66 00:03:15,661 --> 00:03:18,563 � STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU LIVE � 67 00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:19,964 � NOW FACE NORTH 68 00:03:20,032 --> 00:03:21,633 � THINK ABOUT DIRECTION 69 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:23,835 � WONDER WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEFORE � 70 00:03:23,902 --> 00:03:27,305 � NOW STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU WORK � 71 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:29,240 � NOW FACE WEST 72 00:03:29,308 --> 00:03:31,142 � THINK ABOUT THE PLACE WHERE YOU LIVE � 73 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:33,445 � WONDER WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEFORE � 74 00:03:33,512 --> 00:03:36,648 � STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU ARE � 75 00:03:36,715 --> 00:03:40,385 � SO STAND 76 00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:45,556 (Chris) ITS BEEN SAID 77 00:03:45,624 --> 00:03:48,559 THAT ALL GOOD RELATIONSHIPS START WITH QUIET OBSERVATION. 78 00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,561 ACTUALLY, I MADE THAT UP, JUST NOW. 79 00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:52,563 DOES IT SOUND STUPID? 80 00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:55,099 ANYWAY, MY INITIAL STRATEGY WAS SIMPLE, 81 00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:56,601 SILENTLY STARE AT THEM 82 00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:58,870 FOR HOURS ON END UNTIL I'M EVENTUALLY NOTICED 83 00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:01,305 AND INVITED INTO A CONVERSATION. 84 00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:07,579 THIS EXACT SAME STRATEGY ONCE WORKED FOR ME 85 00:04:07,646 --> 00:04:09,113 WITH AN APE AT THE LOCAL ZOO. 86 00:04:09,181 --> 00:04:11,048 SO MY HOPES WERE HIGH. 87 00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:17,122 I SOON CAME TO THE REALIZATION 88 00:04:17,189 --> 00:04:19,690 THAT IT MIGHT BE NECESSARY TO CHANGE MY STRATEGY. 89 00:04:19,758 --> 00:04:21,559 IT WAS TIME FOR THE HEAVY ARTILLERY. 90 00:04:21,627 --> 00:04:23,961 YOU GUESSED IT, QUESTIONS. 91 00:04:24,029 --> 00:04:25,463 WHEN WERE SINKS INVENTED? 92 00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:26,931 [grunting] 93 00:04:26,998 --> 00:04:28,999 HOW MUCH ARE TRUCKS? 94 00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,001 DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? 95 00:04:31,069 --> 00:04:32,470 (Chris) NOTHING SEEMED TO WORK. 96 00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:33,738 I KNEW THINGS WERE DESPERATE 97 00:04:33,739 --> 00:04:35,673 WHEN EVEN MR. POPPIE COULDN'T WIN THEM OVER. 98 00:04:35,741 --> 00:04:36,781 [Chris clears throat] 99 00:04:36,842 --> 00:04:38,810 TELL US A JOKE, MR. POPPIE. 100 00:04:38,877 --> 00:04:40,412 SURE THING, CHRISSY. 101 00:04:40,479 --> 00:04:43,447 HOW DO PORCUPINES HAVE SEX? 102 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,149 JEEZ, I DON'T KNOW, MR. POPPIE. 103 00:04:45,217 --> 00:04:47,218 HOW DO PORCUPINES HAVE SEX? 104 00:04:48,020 --> 00:04:51,322 CAREFULLY, VERY CAREFULLY. 105 00:05:01,366 --> 00:05:03,301 (Chris) THIS WAS NOT A GOOD SIGN. 106 00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:06,170 I KNEW NOW THAT SOMETHING DRASTIC HAD TO BE DONE. 107 00:05:06,238 --> 00:05:08,406 IF I WERE TO TRULY BECOME ONE OF THEM, 108 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,608 I KNEW I WOULD FIRST HAVE TO LOOK LIKE THEM, 109 00:05:10,676 --> 00:05:13,944 AND EVENTUALLY, GOD WILLING, SMELL LIKE THEM. 110 00:05:15,547 --> 00:05:17,282 [metallic clanking] 111 00:05:19,251 --> 00:05:22,353 IN MY HEART, I KNEW THIS WAS FINALLY IT. 112 00:05:22,421 --> 00:05:23,754 THE CLOTHES WERE RIGHT. 113 00:05:23,822 --> 00:05:26,691 THE ECLAIRS AND BEER HAD PUT ON A FEW EXTRA POUNDS. 114 00:05:26,758 --> 00:05:28,859 I WAS IN PEAK FORM. 115 00:05:28,927 --> 00:05:31,529 THEY WOULD NOW EMBRACE ME AS ONE OF THEIR OWN. 116 00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:32,697 [burping] 117 00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:35,900 HI, BOYS. 118 00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:38,068 WHAT'S WITH THE COSTUME, SLUSH HEAD? 119 00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:39,937 YOU GOT A DATE WITH DINTY MOORE? 120 00:05:40,005 --> 00:05:41,506 [all laughing] 121 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,710 (Chris) TO THIS DAY, I STILL DON'T GET THAT JOKE. 122 00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:49,080 OBVIOUSLY, THEY FOUND IT QUITE FUNNY, THOUGH. 123 00:05:49,147 --> 00:05:50,347 [men continue laughing] 124 00:05:50,415 --> 00:05:52,283 DINTY MOORE! 125 00:05:53,585 --> 00:05:54,706 [men laughing] ALL I KNOW IS 126 00:05:54,719 --> 00:05:57,021 AT THAT VERY MOMENT, I FELT ALL WAS LOST. 127 00:05:57,089 --> 00:05:59,523 I WOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED INTO THE GRAND, MYSTERIOUS, 128 00:05:59,591 --> 00:06:02,426 WONDROUS WORLD OF GUYS WHO USE TOOLS. 129 00:06:03,829 --> 00:06:05,463 [mocking] 130 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:06,531 BUT I WRONG. 131 00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:08,466 ALL THAT WAS ABOUT TO CHANGE. 132 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:12,437 THANKS TO MY TENDENCY TO GET SLEEPY EVERY SO OFTEN. 133 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:14,773 AND SLEEPY I WAS, AFTER DOING THE TWIST 134 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:17,542 FOR 3 SOLID HOURS FOR AN UNRECEPTIVE AUDIENCE. 135 00:06:19,511 --> 00:06:22,280 IF THERE'S ONE THING MY DEAR MOTHER TAUGHT ME, 136 00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,268 IT'S TO ALWAYS LAY DOWN AND GO TO SLEEP 137 00:06:24,315 --> 00:06:25,236 WHENEVER YOU ARE TIRED, 138 00:06:25,283 --> 00:06:26,651 NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE. 139 00:06:26,718 --> 00:06:28,999 AND EXCEPT FOR MY ARREST AT THE BUS STATION LAST YEAR, 140 00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:31,121 I FOUND THIS TO BE PRETTY SOUND ADVICE. 141 00:06:31,189 --> 00:06:34,069 LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT AN EVENT WAS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE, 142 00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:35,993 THAT WOULD FOREVER CHANGE MY LIFE. 143 00:06:36,061 --> 00:06:37,495 AND THAT BLESSED EVENT 144 00:06:37,562 --> 00:06:40,398 CAN BE SUMMED UP IN 4 SWEET, SIMPLE WORDS, 145 00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:41,665 DICK FELL ON ME. 146 00:06:41,733 --> 00:06:43,134 [metallic rattling] 147 00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:44,568 [thudding] 148 00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:45,869 [groaning] 149 00:06:45,937 --> 00:06:47,038 JEEZ. 150 00:06:47,105 --> 00:06:48,539 I COULD HAVE BROKE MY NECK. 151 00:06:48,607 --> 00:06:49,808 [groaning] 152 00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:52,443 LUCKY FOR ME YOU'RE SUCH A FAT-ASS. 153 00:06:54,179 --> 00:06:55,413 [groaning] 154 00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:56,814 OH. 155 00:06:56,882 --> 00:06:58,983 OH, YOU KNOW SOMETHING, KID? 156 00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:00,652 [groaning] 157 00:07:01,519 --> 00:07:02,654 YOU'RE OK. 158 00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:03,961 [men laughing] 159 00:07:03,989 --> 00:07:05,509 (Chris) JUST LIKE THAT IT HAPPENED. 160 00:07:05,524 --> 00:07:08,759 I HAD BEEN ACCEPTED. I WAS NOW ONE OF THE ELITE. 161 00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:10,928 ABOUT TO LEARN ALL THE RULE AND RITUALS 162 00:07:10,996 --> 00:07:13,998 OF A SECRET SOCIETY THAT DATES BACK TO THE INCAS. 163 00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:16,768 WITHOUT TRYING TO SOUND OVERLY DRAMATIC OR CLICHED, 164 00:07:16,835 --> 00:07:20,972 JUST LET ME SAY I WAS HAPPY AS A PORPUS. 165 00:07:21,039 --> 00:07:22,973 THE FIRST THING MY HEROES TAUGHT ME 166 00:07:23,042 --> 00:07:25,143 WAS AN IMPORTANT AND ESSENTIAL LESSON. 167 00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:27,645 HOW TO ACT CRUDE AND OBNOXIOUS TO THE VARIOUS WOMEN 168 00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:30,548 WHO PASSED THROUGH MY YARD FOR NO APPARENT REASON. 169 00:07:31,283 --> 00:07:32,850 SHAKE IT, HONEY. 170 00:07:32,918 --> 00:07:35,719 DO THE WILD THING, MAMA! 171 00:07:35,787 --> 00:07:36,888 [yelling] 172 00:07:37,022 --> 00:07:38,122 [laughing] 173 00:07:38,189 --> 00:07:40,358 YEAH, WORK THAT THING, SISTER! 174 00:07:40,425 --> 00:07:42,026 [men exclaim] 175 00:07:42,093 --> 00:07:44,028 THAT'S RIGHT YOU GOT IT. 176 00:07:44,095 --> 00:07:46,698 HONEY, IF YOU'RE SELLIN', I'M BUYIN'. 177 00:07:49,834 --> 00:07:51,669 (Chris) OH, EAT THAT CHEESE, LADY. 178 00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:53,671 UH-HUH, PLUCK THAT BANJO. 179 00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:56,340 YES, YOU HAVE VERY NICE LOOKING SHOES, MISS. 180 00:07:56,408 --> 00:07:57,775 [mumbling] 181 00:07:58,677 --> 00:07:59,677 [grunts] 182 00:08:06,785 --> 00:08:10,387 � DOWN IN THE VALLEY 183 00:08:12,390 --> 00:08:13,991 (all) � VALLEY SO LOW 184 00:08:14,059 --> 00:08:16,194 (Chris) AT NIGHT WE'D SIT AROUND THE CAMPFIRE 185 00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:19,463 AND REFLECT ON THE DAY'S EVENTS AND LIFE IN GENERAL. 186 00:08:19,531 --> 00:08:22,600 INVARIABLY, THE CONVERSATION WOULD DRIFT TO THE ONE TOPIC 187 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:25,837 THAT'S NEVER FAR FROM A CONSTRUCTION WORKER'S MIND. 188 00:08:25,904 --> 00:08:27,571 TOOL BELT FIGHTS. 189 00:08:29,774 --> 00:08:31,442 HEY, GUYS, 190 00:08:31,509 --> 00:08:33,411 TELL ME ABOUT THE TOOL BELT FIGHTS AGAIN. 191 00:08:33,478 --> 00:08:35,746 OH, WHAT DO YOU WANNA KNOW, LITTLE PARTNER? 192 00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:37,281 WELL, EVERYTHING. 193 00:08:37,349 --> 00:08:39,083 LIKE... LIKE WHEN DID THEY FIRST BEGIN? 194 00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:41,919 WELL, NOBODY KNOWS WHEN IT ALL FIRST BEGAN. 195 00:08:41,987 --> 00:08:45,222 LEGEND HAS IT THAT THE FIRST TOOL BELT FIGHT 196 00:08:45,290 --> 00:08:46,958 TOOK PLACE BETWEEN A COUPLE OF FELLAS 197 00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,193 WORKING ON THE GREAT PYRAMIDS. 198 00:08:49,261 --> 00:08:51,328 SEEMS THEY GOT INTO AN ARGUMENT OVER A SANDWICH 199 00:08:51,396 --> 00:08:53,564 AND SUDDENLY THE TOOLS WAS FLYIN' EVERYWHERE. 200 00:08:53,631 --> 00:08:54,966 [crickets chirping] 201 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:58,970 HAMMERS, SCREWDRIVERS, POWER DRILLS, YOU NAME IT. 202 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,838 IN THOSE DAYS, OF COURSE, 203 00:09:00,906 --> 00:09:04,408 IT WAS ALWAYS A FIGHT TO THE DEATH. 204 00:09:04,476 --> 00:09:07,117 (Chris) MY HEAD WAS SWIMMING WITH FASCINATING STORIES 205 00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:09,947 OF LATE TRAILER PAYMENTS, ONE-EYED-PROSTITUTES, 206 00:09:10,015 --> 00:09:12,750 AND, OF COURSE, THE FABLED TOOL BELT FIGHTS. 207 00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:16,788 IT WAS ALMOST TOO MUCH FOR MY YOUNG, THIRSTY BRAIN TO COMPREHEND. 208 00:09:18,623 --> 00:09:20,191 [chuckling] LOOK HERE, FELLAS. 209 00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:23,294 AIN'T THAT ABOUT THE CUTEST THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN? 210 00:09:23,361 --> 00:09:26,731 OUR LITTLE OUTLAW HAS GONE OFF TO FAIRYLAND. 211 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,333 MUST HAVE BEEN ALL THAT BOURBON I GAVE HIM. 212 00:09:29,401 --> 00:09:31,402 LET'S GET HIM OFF TO BED. 213 00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:32,937 [crickets chirping] 214 00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:34,839 [moaning] 215 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,540 [chuckling] 216 00:09:36,608 --> 00:09:38,743 (Chris) THESE WERE THE HAPPIEST DAYS OF MY LIFE. 217 00:09:38,811 --> 00:09:40,344 I HAD FINALLY BECOME ONE OF THEM. 218 00:09:40,412 --> 00:09:41,778 HERE WE GO. 219 00:09:41,846 --> 00:09:44,581 I THINK I WAS EVEN STARTING TO STINK A LITTLE. 220 00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:51,088 AND JUST WHEN I THOUGHT 221 00:09:51,156 --> 00:09:52,756 THINGS COULDN'T GET ANY BETTER, 222 00:09:52,824 --> 00:09:54,725 THE ULTIMATE HAPPENED. 223 00:09:58,230 --> 00:09:59,864 I WAS SPEECHLESS. 224 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:03,167 THE GUYS WERE PRESENTING ME WITH MY VERY OWN TOOL BELT, 225 00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:05,436 A REAL TOOL BELT. 226 00:10:05,503 --> 00:10:07,138 IF I WASN'T SO AFRAID OF PAIN, 227 00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:09,674 I SURELY WOULD HAVE PINCHED MYSELF. 228 00:10:10,475 --> 00:10:12,310 [sniffing] 229 00:10:12,377 --> 00:10:14,746 IT WAS THE SINGLE GREATEST HONOR EVER BESTOWED ON ME 230 00:10:14,813 --> 00:10:17,214 AND I QUICKLY PURGED ANY THOUGHTS OF REFUSING IT, 231 00:10:17,282 --> 00:10:19,483 DUE TO THE CONSTRUCTION INDUSTRY'S POOR TREATMENT 232 00:10:19,551 --> 00:10:21,652 OF THE AMERICAN INDIAN. 233 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,287 MY LIFE WAS NOW CONSUMED 234 00:10:23,354 --> 00:10:25,522 WITH LIVING UP TO THE HIGH STANDARDS OF EXCELLENCE 235 00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:28,659 THAT WENT ALONG WITH THAT TOOL BELT. 236 00:10:28,727 --> 00:10:30,795 OF COURSE, IT WASN'T ALL WORK. 237 00:10:30,862 --> 00:10:34,665 WE ALWAYS FOUND TIME TO SOCIALIZE, EAT CHILI, AND DRINK BEER. 238 00:10:34,733 --> 00:10:37,267 AT THOSE B.S. SESSIONS, AS DICK CALLED THEM, 239 00:10:37,335 --> 00:10:41,205 THE GUYS WERE ALWAYS FOND OF PHILOSOPHICAL CONVERSATION. 240 00:10:41,272 --> 00:10:44,341 DO YOU ALL THINK WE'VE PEAKED AS A CIVILIZATION? 241 00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:47,845 HAS MATERIALISM RUINED OUR SOCIETY? 242 00:10:50,182 --> 00:10:52,583 EVER SEEN YOUR MOM IN THE BATHTUB? 243 00:10:53,518 --> 00:10:55,219 (Chris) IT WAS A WONDERFUL TIME. 244 00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:59,290 I FELT HAPPIER AND MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE PRESIDENT OF EUROPE. 245 00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:00,791 UNKNOWN TO ME, HOWEVER, 246 00:11:00,859 --> 00:11:03,694 THINGS WERE ABOUT TO TAKE AN UGLY TURN. 247 00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:05,830 MORNING, FELLAS. 248 00:11:05,897 --> 00:11:07,364 HEY, COME ON OVER HERE, BUTCH. 249 00:11:07,432 --> 00:11:08,766 I GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU. 250 00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:10,400 [Dick laughing] 251 00:11:10,468 --> 00:11:11,869 [metallic rattling] 252 00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:13,237 YOU, UH, 253 00:11:13,304 --> 00:11:14,505 YOU WANT IN ON A LITTLE SECRET? 254 00:11:14,572 --> 00:11:15,706 YOU SEE THIS PIPE? 255 00:11:15,773 --> 00:11:18,442 WE GET IT OUT OF KOREA FOR 9 CENTS A FOOT. 256 00:11:18,510 --> 00:11:21,212 GOT MORE PLASTIC IN IT THAN A SHOWGIRL'S BUTT. 257 00:11:21,279 --> 00:11:22,847 [all laughing] 258 00:11:28,286 --> 00:11:31,455 MMM, I DO SO LOVE JOKES PERTAINING TO LAS VEGAS. 259 00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:33,483 HEY, WELL, HERE'S THE REAL JOKE. 260 00:11:33,525 --> 00:11:35,526 WE'RE CHARGING YOUR OLD MAN FOR COPPER PIPE. 261 00:11:35,593 --> 00:11:36,860 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT GOES FOR? 262 00:11:36,928 --> 00:11:38,429 $90 A FOOT. 263 00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:43,133 AIN'T THAT PRECIOUS? 264 00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:44,802 WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOUR OLD MAN A BILL 265 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,672 THAT'LL KNOCK HIM RIGHT OUT OF HIS SHORTS. 266 00:11:47,739 --> 00:11:49,440 [all laughing] 267 00:11:53,745 --> 00:11:55,546 WAIT A SECOND. HUH? 268 00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:57,849 ISN'T THAT DISHONEST? 269 00:11:57,916 --> 00:11:59,917 HOLD ON A MINUTE THERE, SPORT. 270 00:11:59,985 --> 00:12:01,752 YOU, UH, 271 00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:04,489 YOU AIN'T GETTIN' SOFT ON US NOW, ARE YOU? 272 00:12:04,556 --> 00:12:06,424 I THOUGHT YOU WERE ONE OF US. 273 00:12:06,558 --> 00:12:09,293 MAYBE WE OUGHT TO TAKE AWAY HIS TOOL BELT. 274 00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:12,463 MAYBE HE DON'T GOT THE STOMACH FOR IT, AFTER ALL. 275 00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:14,432 [chuckling] NO. NOW COME ON FELLAS. 276 00:12:14,499 --> 00:12:16,733 LET'S... LET'S NOT GO OVERBOARD HERE. 277 00:12:16,801 --> 00:12:18,735 I SIMPLY RAISED A QUESTION 278 00:12:18,803 --> 00:12:21,438 AND I... I REGRETTED IT AS SOON AS I SAID IT, OK? 279 00:12:21,506 --> 00:12:23,674 SO, COME ON, LET'S FORGET ABOUT IT. 280 00:12:23,741 --> 00:12:26,310 COME ON. IT'S JUST WATER UNDER THE TUNNEL. 281 00:12:26,378 --> 00:12:27,898 NOW WHAT DO... WHAT DO YOU SAY 282 00:12:27,912 --> 00:12:30,747 WE SLICE UP A... A SALAMI AND... AND TURN ON OPRAH? 283 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,855 (Chris) DESPITE WHAT I LED THE GUYS TO BELIEVE, 284 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,990 I WAS NOW HORRIBLY TROUBLED. 285 00:12:40,058 --> 00:12:42,527 MY ENTIRE WORLD HAD COLLAPSED. 286 00:12:42,594 --> 00:12:45,462 I FELT DEPRESSED AND SUICIDAL. 287 00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:47,364 AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, 288 00:12:47,432 --> 00:12:49,066 A LITTLE THIRSTY. 289 00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:56,106 I LEARNED A LONG TIME AGO, 290 00:12:56,174 --> 00:12:58,409 WHEN I'M REALLY, REALLY DESPERATE FOR ADVICE, 291 00:12:58,477 --> 00:13:00,344 AND I CAN'T FIND ANYONE ELSE TO TALK TO, 292 00:13:00,412 --> 00:13:02,245 NOT EVEN A COMPLETE STRANGER, 293 00:13:02,313 --> 00:13:04,749 MY PARENTS ARE BETTER THAN NOTHING. 294 00:13:06,851 --> 00:13:08,686 HEY, MOM, DAD. 295 00:13:08,753 --> 00:13:10,121 I HAVE A PROBLEM. 296 00:13:10,188 --> 00:13:12,856 AND AS ALWAYS YOU'RE MY FIRST AND ONLY CHOICE FOR ADVICE. 297 00:13:12,924 --> 00:13:14,558 LUCKY US. 298 00:13:14,625 --> 00:13:16,293 WHAT'S THE MATTER, SWEETHEART? 299 00:13:16,361 --> 00:13:18,662 IS THAT DRIFTER WHO LIVES BEHIND THE GAS STATION 300 00:13:18,730 --> 00:13:21,032 STILL THREATENING TO KILL YOU? 301 00:13:21,099 --> 00:13:23,734 NO, HE GOT HIT BY A CAR LAST WEEK. 302 00:13:23,801 --> 00:13:26,270 NO, MY PROBLEM'S A LITTLE MORE COMPLICATED. 303 00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:29,640 LET ME GIVE YOU A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION HERE. 304 00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:32,944 SUPPOSE YOUR FRIEND IS A RHINOCEROS 305 00:13:33,011 --> 00:13:37,814 AND HE'S HAWKING REALLY EXPENSIVE SUGAR CUBES ON THE MOON. 306 00:13:37,882 --> 00:13:39,003 [clears throat] 307 00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:41,485 ONLY YOU FIND OUT THAT THESE SUGAR CUBES 308 00:13:41,553 --> 00:13:43,821 AREN'T REALLY MADE OUT OF SUGAR AT ALL. 309 00:13:43,888 --> 00:13:46,957 BUT THEY'RE MADE OUT OF A CHEAP COMBINATION 310 00:13:47,025 --> 00:13:48,959 OF SAND AND GARLIC FROM KOREA. 311 00:13:49,027 --> 00:13:50,961 OH, BOY, HOLD... HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. 312 00:13:51,029 --> 00:13:53,864 ARE YOU SAYING THESE MORON CONSTRUCTION WORKERS 313 00:13:53,932 --> 00:13:56,033 ARE TRYING TO RIP ME OFF? 314 00:13:56,868 --> 00:13:58,836 NO, DAD. OH, JEEZ. 315 00:13:58,904 --> 00:14:02,139 YOU'RE ALWAYS TRYIN' TO READ SOME SORT OF SECRET MEANING IN EVERYTHING I SAY. 316 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,376 I GOT NO TIME FOR THIS, BOY. DO YOU NEED ADVICE? 317 00:14:05,443 --> 00:14:07,044 GO BUG A PRIEST. 318 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:10,147 MAKE HIM WORK FOR HIS $60,000 A YEAR. 319 00:14:10,215 --> 00:14:12,283 HEY, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. 320 00:14:12,317 --> 00:14:13,550 GOOD. 321 00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:14,885 NOW BLOW. 322 00:14:15,787 --> 00:14:17,121 OH, SURE. 323 00:14:19,457 --> 00:14:22,359 (Chris) AFTER WALKING AIMLESSLY FOR THE BETTER PART OF THE DAY, 324 00:14:22,427 --> 00:14:23,894 I WAS FORTUNATE ENOUGH 325 00:14:23,962 --> 00:14:26,897 TO STUMBLE UPON A CHURCH JUST 19 MILES FROM MY HOUSE. 326 00:14:26,965 --> 00:14:29,132 OK, WELL, HERE'S MY PROBLEM. 327 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:32,560 FOR NOW, LET'S JUST SAY THAT MY BEST FRIENDS ARE RHINOCEROSES, 328 00:14:32,571 --> 00:14:36,273 AND THEY'RE HAWKING REALLY EXPENSIVE SUGAR CUBES ON THE MOON. 329 00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:37,875 LET ME GUESS, 330 00:14:37,942 --> 00:14:40,744 SOME CONSTRUCTION WORKERS ARE TRYING TO SWINDLE YOUR FATHER? 331 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:42,680 EXACTLY. 332 00:14:42,747 --> 00:14:45,182 THESE GUYS ARE MY FRIENDS, YOUR HONOR. 333 00:14:45,249 --> 00:14:48,819 AND THEY'VE ACCEPTED ME INTO THEIR WONDERFUL, CRUDE, 334 00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:51,422 STENCH-RIDDEN SUB-CULTURE. 335 00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:54,391 AND THAT'S, WELL, SOMETHING I'VE DREAMT ABOUT ALL MY LIFE. 336 00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,426 I CAN'T JUST THROW THAT AWAY. 337 00:14:56,494 --> 00:14:58,128 AS I SEE IT, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE 338 00:14:58,196 --> 00:15:01,699 BUT TO CONFRONT THEM AND VOICE YOUR CONCERN ABOUT THEIR DISHONESTY. 339 00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,333 HMM. BUT, 340 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,636 THEN I'LL LOSE THEIR FRIENDSHIP FOREVER. 341 00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:07,170 I'LL BE AN OUTCAST. 342 00:15:07,238 --> 00:15:08,405 THEN, 343 00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:11,241 THEY WEREN'T YOUR FRIENDS IN THE FIRST PLACE. 344 00:15:11,309 --> 00:15:14,377 OH, NICE LINE, MOM. 345 00:15:14,445 --> 00:15:17,481 (Chris) IF THERE'S ONE THING I HATE, IT'S A CONFRONTATION. 346 00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:19,750 AND THIS ONE WOULD NO DOUBT BE EVEN UGLIER 347 00:15:19,818 --> 00:15:21,752 THAN THE TIME I CURSED OUT THE MAILMAN 348 00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:24,521 FOR STARING AT ME WHEN I WAS SUNBATHING. 349 00:15:26,658 --> 00:15:27,858 [clears throat] UH, 350 00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:29,960 EXCUSE ME, UH, FELLAS, UH, 351 00:15:30,028 --> 00:15:31,561 COULD I HAVE YOUR EAR FOR A SECOND? 352 00:15:31,629 --> 00:15:33,597 HEY, WHAT'S UP, KATO? 353 00:15:33,665 --> 00:15:36,100 WELL, I... I WAS, UH... 354 00:15:37,669 --> 00:15:40,104 HEY, HAVE YOU GUYS EVER SEEN ME DO A SUMMERSAULT? 355 00:15:40,171 --> 00:15:42,373 I CAN DO ONE, YOU KNOW. HERE, WATCH. 356 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,774 HERE I GO. 357 00:15:43,842 --> 00:15:46,076 [mumbling] 358 00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:50,014 YOU GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND, BOY? 359 00:15:50,081 --> 00:15:51,381 [object thudding] 360 00:15:51,449 --> 00:15:53,350 YOU'RE ACTING A LITTLE GOOFY. 361 00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:55,619 [sighing] 362 00:15:56,421 --> 00:15:57,488 WELL, UH, 363 00:15:57,556 --> 00:15:58,555 [clears throat] 364 00:15:58,623 --> 00:16:00,124 AS A MATTER OF FACT, 365 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:03,894 RICHARD, I DO HAVE SOMETHING ON MY MIND 366 00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:09,099 AND FOR ONCE IT'S... IT'S NOT WOMEN COMPLETELY NAKED EXCEPT FOR COWBOY BOOTS. 367 00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:12,536 I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED WITH ALL OF YOU. 368 00:16:12,603 --> 00:16:13,971 YOU GUYS DID A VERY BAD THING 369 00:16:14,038 --> 00:16:16,540 BY PUTTING IN THOSE CHEAP PIPES. 370 00:16:16,608 --> 00:16:18,676 AND, WELL, EVEN THOUGH 371 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:21,311 IT... IT'LL PROBABLY MEAN THAT I... I CAN'T BE ONE OF YOU, 372 00:16:21,379 --> 00:16:23,681 AND... AND IT MIGHT HURT OUR FRIENDSHIP, 373 00:16:23,748 --> 00:16:25,716 I'M GONNA TELL MY DAD. 374 00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:28,051 YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG. TONTO. 375 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,087 IT DON'T MEAN YOU CAN'T BE ONE OF US. 376 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:31,395 I-I-IT DOESN'T? 377 00:16:31,456 --> 00:16:33,089 NO. 378 00:16:33,157 --> 00:16:35,559 IT MEANS WE'RE GONNA BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU. 379 00:16:35,627 --> 00:16:37,361 A-A-A-ALL RIGHT, N-N-NOW, HOLD ON, DICK. 380 00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:38,695 I... I... I THINK YOU'RE... YOU'RE... 381 00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:40,364 YOU'RE GOING A LITTLE OVERBOARD HERE. 382 00:16:40,432 --> 00:16:42,552 YOU'RE TALKING WITH YOUR HEART INSTEAD OF YOUR HEAD. 383 00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:44,067 [crashing] 384 00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:45,802 I MEAN YOUR... YOUR... YOUR HEAD INSTEAD OF YOUR HEART. 385 00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:48,172 I MEAN YOUR FOOT INSTEAD OF YOUR ESOPHAGUS. 386 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:51,241 GIVE ME... GIVE ME 2 GOOD REASONS WHY THIS SITUATION HERE 387 00:16:51,309 --> 00:16:54,211 NEEDS TO ESCALATE INTO... INTO VIOLENCE? 388 00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:57,314 ONE, YOU GOT US IN A VERY BAD MOOD. 389 00:16:57,382 --> 00:17:00,684 AND TWO, WE'VE BEEN DRINKIN' SINCE 5:00 THIS MORNING. 390 00:17:03,855 --> 00:17:05,355 (Chris) UNLIKE THE THREE STOOGES, 391 00:17:05,423 --> 00:17:07,390 I DIDN'T HEAR A CUTE LITTLE CLANK SOUND. 392 00:17:07,458 --> 00:17:09,159 AND IT HURT LIKE HELL. 393 00:17:09,227 --> 00:17:12,495 I NOW KNEW WHAT WAS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE IN MY PARENT'S KITCHEN, 394 00:17:12,563 --> 00:17:15,833 THE LEGENDARY, DEADLY, TOOL BELT FIGHT. 395 00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:33,784 [both yell] 396 00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:35,719 [metallic clattering] 397 00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:41,725 2 DOWN, 1 TO GO. 398 00:17:41,793 --> 00:17:43,861 (Chris) THE MOMENT OF TRUTH HAD ARRIVED. 399 00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:46,463 I WAS ABOUT TO GO TOE-TO-TOE WITH THE EVER POWERFUL, 400 00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:49,366 EVER CRAFTY, DREADED FOREMAN. 401 00:17:53,804 --> 00:17:55,472 [exclaiming] 402 00:17:57,642 --> 00:17:59,276 UH-HUH, UH-HUH. 403 00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:01,745 OK, DICKY, COME TO PAPA. 404 00:18:01,813 --> 00:18:04,081 DADDY'S GOT A BIG KISS FOR YOU. 405 00:18:04,215 --> 00:18:05,175 [grunts] 406 00:18:11,456 --> 00:18:12,790 [grunting] 407 00:18:12,857 --> 00:18:14,157 [panting] 408 00:18:18,029 --> 00:18:20,096 [groaning] 409 00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:22,766 [exclaiming] 410 00:18:24,068 --> 00:18:25,402 [panting] 411 00:18:27,772 --> 00:18:29,273 [grunting] 412 00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:32,976 [yelling] 413 00:18:42,687 --> 00:18:44,554 [both grunting] 414 00:18:50,328 --> 00:18:52,195 (Chris) I WAS LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON. 415 00:18:52,263 --> 00:18:55,132 I HAD MORE STAMINA THAN I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. 416 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,034 CERTAINLY MORE THAN I HAD ON MY LAST DATE. 417 00:18:59,637 --> 00:19:01,405 [both grunting] 418 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,241 [wrench clatters] 419 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,909 [Dick laughing] 420 00:19:08,246 --> 00:19:09,346 [clatters] 421 00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:11,582 OK? HUH? 422 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,584 [Dick laughing] 423 00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:17,320 [exclaims] 424 00:19:17,388 --> 00:19:19,055 (Chris) IF THERE'S ONE THING 425 00:19:19,123 --> 00:19:21,443 THAT CAN QUICKLY END A TOOL BELT FIGHT, IT'S A STAPLE GUN. 426 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,253 ONE LITTLE SQUEEZE OF THE TRIGGER 427 00:19:23,294 --> 00:19:25,329 CAN INFLICT MORE PAIN ON A FAT GUT 428 00:19:25,396 --> 00:19:28,365 THAN A DOZEN BALL PEIN HAMMERS. 429 00:19:28,466 --> 00:19:29,967 GOODNIGHT, IRENE. 430 00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:31,902 DO ME A LITTLE FAVOR, HUH? 431 00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,437 WHEN YOU MEET THE DEVIL, 432 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:36,373 GIVE HIM A LITTLE PECK ON THE CHEEK FROM ME. 433 00:19:39,944 --> 00:19:42,145 ALL RIGHT, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, DICK. 434 00:19:42,213 --> 00:19:44,080 THIS IS THE LAST BEER IN THE REFRIGERATOR 435 00:19:44,148 --> 00:19:45,749 AND I'M PREPARED TO SPILL IT. 436 00:19:45,850 --> 00:19:46,950 NO. YEAH. 437 00:19:47,018 --> 00:19:49,185 NOW... NOW PUT THAT STAPLE GUN DOWN 438 00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:51,955 OR... OR ELSE I'LL DUMP THIS BEER ALL OVER THE LINOLEUM. 439 00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:54,591 EASY, KID! TAKE IT EASY. 440 00:19:54,659 --> 00:19:57,995 DON'T... DON'T DO NOTHING STUPID. 441 00:19:58,062 --> 00:19:59,796 [Dick grunts] 442 00:19:59,864 --> 00:20:01,731 [exclaiming] 443 00:20:03,401 --> 00:20:04,701 YOU THINK I'M PLAYING AROUND? 444 00:20:04,769 --> 00:20:05,802 [gasping] 445 00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:07,438 I'M NUTS, MAN. 446 00:20:08,506 --> 00:20:10,340 NOW, PUT IT DOWN. 447 00:20:11,375 --> 00:20:13,610 [Dick grunting] 448 00:20:13,612 --> 00:20:14,678 [staple gun clatters] 449 00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:16,313 [sobbing] 450 00:20:17,348 --> 00:20:18,382 [chuckling] 451 00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:19,550 FINI. 452 00:20:19,617 --> 00:20:20,617 [chuckles] 453 00:20:20,685 --> 00:20:22,119 [groaning] 454 00:20:22,186 --> 00:20:23,620 (Ray) HE DID IT. 455 00:20:23,687 --> 00:20:26,857 THE KID WON THE TOOL BELT FIGHT! 456 00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:29,660 NOW, THERE'S STILL A LITTLE MATTER TO DISCUSS 457 00:20:29,727 --> 00:20:32,062 REGARDING PLASTIC PIPES 458 00:20:32,129 --> 00:20:34,264 AND HOW MUCH YOU'RE CHARGING MY DADDY. 459 00:20:34,331 --> 00:20:36,299 SINCE... 460 00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:38,101 SINCE YOU DID WIN THE TOOL BELT FIGHT, 461 00:20:38,169 --> 00:20:40,370 [clears throat] AND NOW... 462 00:20:40,438 --> 00:20:42,773 NOW, YOU ARE A KING OF SORTS, 463 00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:45,609 WERE GONNA KNOCK $20 OFF YOUR DAD'S BILL. 464 00:20:47,245 --> 00:20:48,645 [Chris sighing] 465 00:20:48,713 --> 00:20:50,614 UH, OK. 466 00:20:52,316 --> 00:20:53,584 $22. 467 00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:56,553 [Dick groaning] 468 00:20:57,421 --> 00:20:58,555 JEEZ. 469 00:20:59,323 --> 00:21:01,058 $22.50, HUH? 470 00:21:02,293 --> 00:21:03,793 (Dick) COME ON. 471 00:21:03,861 --> 00:21:04,895 BUENO. 472 00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:06,396 [Dick sighing] 473 00:21:06,463 --> 00:21:08,531 [exclaiming] 474 00:21:10,134 --> 00:21:11,568 (Chris) IT WAS A MORAL TRIUMPH. 475 00:21:11,635 --> 00:21:14,137 I'D RISEN ABOVE THOSE I ONCE IDOLIZED 476 00:21:14,205 --> 00:21:17,808 AND MANAGED TO SAVE MY DAD $22.50 TO BOOT. 477 00:21:17,876 --> 00:21:20,411 THAT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE MUCH TO THE AVERAGE PERSON, 478 00:21:20,478 --> 00:21:23,479 BUT TO A GUY WHO JUST GOT HIT ON THE HEAD WITH A LEAD PIPE, 479 00:21:23,547 --> 00:21:25,682 IT SOUNDED PRETTY DAMN GOOD. 480 00:21:27,185 --> 00:21:29,653 (all) � AMAZING GRACE 481 00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:33,156 THAT NIGHT WE SAT UNDER THE STARS FOR THE LAST TIME. 482 00:21:33,224 --> 00:21:35,626 THE NEXT DAY THEY WOULD BE FINISHED WITH THEIR WORK 483 00:21:35,693 --> 00:21:38,595 AND QUIETLY DISAPPEAR FROM MY LIFE FOREVER. 484 00:21:39,797 --> 00:21:41,999 IN TIME OUR WOUNDS WOULD HEAL. 485 00:21:42,066 --> 00:21:44,768 BUT OUR HEARTS AND MINDS WOULD TRANSFORM 486 00:21:44,836 --> 00:21:46,336 INTO SHALLOW TRAYS THAT CAUGHT 487 00:21:46,404 --> 00:21:48,772 THE BITTERSWEET RAINWATER OF OUR SOULS. 488 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,073 (all) � BUT NOW I SEE 489 00:21:50,141 --> 00:21:52,576 INCIDENTALLY, I'M NOW OFFERING A MILLION DOLLAR REWARD 490 00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:56,179 TO ANYONE WHO CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL THAT MEANT. 491 00:21:56,247 --> 00:21:57,380 �[all singing] 492 00:21:58,883 --> 00:22:00,684 WELL, GOOD NIGHT, SWEET DIARY. 493 00:22:00,752 --> 00:22:03,720 HOPEFULLY I'LL WRITE IN YOU AGAIN SOMETIME BEFORE I'M 80. 494 00:22:03,788 --> 00:22:06,490 HAVE A BITCHIN' SUMMER. YOUR PAL, CHRIS. 495 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:12,228 � WE'VE NO LESS DAYS 496 00:22:12,296 --> 00:22:15,065 � TO SING GOD'S PRAISE 497 00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:20,203 � AMAZING GRACE 498 00:22:20,271 --> 00:22:23,707 � HOW SWEET THE SOUND 499 00:22:23,774 --> 00:22:27,277 � THAT SAVED A WRETCH 500 00:22:27,345 --> 00:22:29,579 � LIKE ME 501 00:22:30,748 --> 00:22:34,150 � I ONCE WAS LOST 502 00:22:34,218 --> 00:22:37,721 � BUT NOW I'M FOUND 503 00:22:37,788 --> 00:22:42,726 � I WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE 504 00:22:44,762 --> 00:22:48,231 � WHEN WE'VE BEEN THERE 505 00:22:48,299 --> 00:22:51,534 � 10,000 YEARS38620