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1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:04,136
YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE EXCITED
ABOUT YOUR CAMPING TRIP.
2
00:00:04,203 --> 00:00:05,770
I AM.
3
00:00:05,838 --> 00:00:07,672
IT'S NICE TO OCCASIONALLY
GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE.
4
00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:10,909
AND IT'S NICE TO OCCASIONALLY
HAVE YOU THE HELL AWAY.
5
00:00:12,578 --> 00:00:14,245
WELL,
6
00:00:14,313 --> 00:00:18,016
IF I WERE TO BELIEVE
THE MANY VOICES DRONING ON
IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW,
7
00:00:18,083 --> 00:00:19,651
I GUESS IT'S TIME
FOR THE ANNUAL
8
00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:23,187
"CHRIS BECOMES FATHERLESS
BIG WEEKEND BASH BLOWOUT,"
HUH?
9
00:00:23,222 --> 00:00:25,890
JEEZ, I WAS HOPING
TO AVOID THIS FOR ONCE.
10
00:00:25,958 --> 00:00:28,326
GLADYS, YOU HOLD HIM DOWN.
I'LL MAKE A BREAK FOR THE CAR.
11
00:00:28,394 --> 00:00:30,762
NO, FATHER, FATHER,
THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.
12
00:00:30,829 --> 00:00:33,098
I'LL... I'LL
JUST STAY RIGHT HERE,
13
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,799
AND DROWN MY SORROWS
14
00:00:34,867 --> 00:00:37,435
IN A HEAPING, NUTRITIOUS
GLASS OF OVALTINE.
15
00:00:37,503 --> 00:00:42,174
RICH, CHOCOLATIE,
FISHIE, OVALTINE.
16
00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:45,676
JEEZ, WE GO THROUGH
THIS SAME THING EVERY YEAR.
17
00:00:45,744 --> 00:00:48,212
AND EVERY YEAR IT GETS WORSE.
18
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,048
CHRIS, IT'S LIKE I'VE
ALWAYS PROMISED YOU,
19
00:00:50,115 --> 00:00:52,316
WHEN YOU'RE A LITTLE OLDER
YOU CAN GO WITH ME.
20
00:00:52,351 --> 00:00:56,221
BUT FOR NOW I JUST HATE HAVING
TO TONE DOWN MY LANGUAGE.
21
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:59,057
BUT, DAD, COME ON,
I'M 30 YEARS OLD.
22
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:02,060
YOU KNOW YOU DON'T
HAVE TO MIND YOUR P'S
AND Q'S AROUND ME,
23
00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:05,030
YOU OLD SON OF A SEA COOKIE.
24
00:01:05,097 --> 00:01:07,432
COME ON, IT'S ALWAYS BEEN
MY DREAM TO GO WITH YOU.
25
00:01:07,499 --> 00:01:09,701
IT WAS ALWAYS MY DREAM
TO BE BORN STERILE.
26
00:01:09,768 --> 00:01:13,238
BUT LIFE TENDS
TO STINK LIKE THAT.
27
00:01:13,305 --> 00:01:17,308
OK. ALL RIGHT. I CAN SEE
THAT YOU WANNA BARGAIN TOUGH.
FINE.
28
00:01:17,376 --> 00:01:20,879
I'LL MAKE
THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE.
29
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:24,882
I PROMISE I SHALL NOT
BE A PAIN IN THE BUTT.
30
00:01:25,017 --> 00:01:27,619
CHRIS, I DON'T WANT
TO SEND YOU INTO SUGAR SHOCK,
31
00:01:27,686 --> 00:01:30,655
BUT FOR YOU
THAT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE.
32
00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:32,524
FRED, MAYBE A WEEKEND
IN THE WOODS
33
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,593
MIGHT HELP YOU TWO
TO FINALLY BOND,
34
00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:36,961
AND I'VE NEVER HAD
A WEEKEND AWAY FROM CHRIS.
35
00:01:37,029 --> 00:01:39,598
IT'S NOT FAIR,
IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.
36
00:01:40,566 --> 00:01:41,766
ALL RIGHT, WOMAN.
37
00:01:43,068 --> 00:01:46,704
BUT IF YOU RUIN MY WEEKEND,
I'LL KILL YOU.
38
00:01:46,772 --> 00:01:51,009
OH, THANK YOU DAD.
THANKS, AND YOU ARE NOT
GONNA REGRET THIS EITHER.
39
00:01:51,076 --> 00:01:52,644
HEY, LISTEN,
CAN LARRY COME ALONG?
40
00:01:52,711 --> 00:01:56,147
HE JUST HAPPENS
TO BE STANDING RIGHT
OUTSIDE OUR KITCHEN DOOR HERE.
41
00:01:56,215 --> 00:01:57,715
WELL,
42
00:01:57,783 --> 00:02:00,863
I GUESS IT'S PAYBACK
FOR KILLING A GUY
IN ANOTHER LIFE.
43
00:02:02,955 --> 00:02:04,889
�[Stand by R. E. M playing]
44
00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:11,429
[bicycle bell ringing]
45
00:02:11,497 --> 00:02:15,032
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
46
00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:16,301
� NOW FACE NORTH
47
00:02:16,368 --> 00:02:18,469
� THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
48
00:02:18,537 --> 00:02:20,238
� WONDER WHY YOU HAVEN'T
49
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:23,674
� NOW STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU WORK �
50
00:02:23,742 --> 00:02:25,310
� NOW FACE WEST
51
00:02:25,377 --> 00:02:27,778
� THINK ABOUT THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
52
00:02:27,846 --> 00:02:29,547
� WONDER WHY YOU HAVEN'T
53
00:02:29,615 --> 00:02:32,484
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
54
00:02:32,551 --> 00:02:33,818
� NOW FACE NORTH
55
00:02:33,885 --> 00:02:35,720
� THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
56
00:02:35,787 --> 00:02:37,888
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
57
00:02:37,956 --> 00:02:41,092
� NOW STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU WORK �
58
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,961
� NOW FACE WEST
59
00:02:43,028 --> 00:02:44,988
� THINK ABOUT THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
60
00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:46,831
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
61
00:02:46,898 --> 00:02:50,468
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU ARE �
62
00:02:50,535 --> 00:02:54,306
� SO STAND
63
00:02:59,311 --> 00:03:02,079
[leaves rustling]
64
00:03:02,147 --> 00:03:04,115
COME ON, YOU GIRLS, MOVE IT.
65
00:03:07,319 --> 00:03:09,120
STOP STEPPING
ON MY HEELS.
66
00:03:09,187 --> 00:03:10,522
I DIDN'T,
IT WAS A GROUNDHOG.
67
00:03:10,589 --> 00:03:12,223
YOU FILTHY LIAR.
68
00:03:12,291 --> 00:03:14,759
EVERYBODY KNOWS GROUNDHOGS
HAVE BEEN EXTINCT
FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS.
69
00:03:14,827 --> 00:03:16,961
DO I HAVE TO SEPARATE
THE TWO OF YOU AGAIN?
70
00:03:17,029 --> 00:03:18,396
HE STARTED IT.
71
00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:21,599
ALL RIGHT, I GUESS IT'S TIME
WE GO OVER THE RULE ONCE MORE.
72
00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:23,868
CHRIS, WHAT IS THE RULE?
73
00:03:23,936 --> 00:03:25,136
SHUT THE HELL UP.
74
00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:30,374
LARRY'S LOOKING AT ME FUNNY.
75
00:03:30,442 --> 00:03:32,744
I AM NOT.
AND HE'S LAUGHING AT MY PANTS.
76
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:36,147
CAN I INTEREST THE TWO OF YOU
IN A MURDER-SUICIDE PACT?
77
00:03:37,215 --> 00:03:39,183
[chuckling] OH, DADDY.
78
00:03:39,251 --> 00:03:42,921
YOU COULD ALWAYS DIFFUSE
A TENSE SITUATION WITH
ONE OF YOUR WITTY JABS.
79
00:03:42,988 --> 00:03:45,357
NOW DESPITE LARRY'S
INFANTILE CHILDISH BEHAVIOR,
80
00:03:45,424 --> 00:03:47,392
WE'RE ACTUALLY HAVING
A GOOD TIME, AREN'T WE?
81
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:51,363
YEAH, I GUESS THE HIGHLIGHT
WAS WHEN YOU GOT SPRAYED
BY THAT SKUNK.
82
00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,165
THERE WAS NO SKUNK.
83
00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:57,141
LOVELY.
84
00:03:59,705 --> 00:04:01,138
OH, JEEZ.
85
00:04:01,206 --> 00:04:03,040
OH, MY.
86
00:04:03,108 --> 00:04:05,543
[grunting]
87
00:04:05,611 --> 00:04:09,647
YOU THINK MAYBE, OW, OOH,
WE COULD STOP AND REST AWHILE?
88
00:04:09,715 --> 00:04:10,982
I AM EXHAUSTED.
89
00:04:11,049 --> 00:04:13,117
WE JUST RESTED
5 MINUTES AGO.
90
00:04:13,185 --> 00:04:14,686
OH DAD, DON'T WORRY.
91
00:04:14,753 --> 00:04:17,455
WE'LL BE BACK ON THE TRAIL
IN NO MORE THAN 45 MINUTES.
OW.
92
00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:20,158
NOW, AT THIS POINT
WHAT I NEED
93
00:04:20,225 --> 00:04:23,260
IS A VOLUNTEER
TO DELICATELY REMOVE
MY MOIST SHOES AND SOCKS
94
00:04:23,328 --> 00:04:25,997
AND GIVE ME THE FOOT RUB
TO END ALL FOOT RUBS.
95
00:04:26,064 --> 00:04:27,665
WHO'S IT GONNA BE?
96
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:31,503
IF IT WOULD SAVE YOUR LIFE,
I WOULDN'T TOUCH YOUR FEET.
97
00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:33,738
YEAH, MASSAGE YOUR OWN FEET.
98
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:36,607
EW, ARE YOU NUTS?
I WOULDN'T GO NEAR 'EM.
99
00:04:36,675 --> 00:04:39,109
YOU KNOW THIS IS REALLY GREAT,
MR. PETERSON.
100
00:04:39,177 --> 00:04:42,980
MY DAD NEVER TOOK ME CAMPING.
HE WAS ALWAYS TOO BUSY
TO DO ANYTHING WITH US.
101
00:04:43,048 --> 00:04:45,950
I GUESS THAT'S WHY I SPEND
SO MUCH TIME WITH MY OWN KIDS.
102
00:04:46,018 --> 00:04:49,653
LARRY, IF YOU EVER GET
THE URGE TO OPEN UP TO ME,
103
00:04:49,721 --> 00:04:51,556
CORK IT, OK?
104
00:04:51,623 --> 00:04:54,859
YOU KNOW, I THINK NOW
WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR ME
TO PRACTICE MY GOOSE CALLS.
105
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:56,461
[clearing throat] HERE, GOOSE.
106
00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:58,996
[barking]
107
00:04:59,064 --> 00:05:00,531
HERE, GOOSIE, GOOSIE.
108
00:05:00,599 --> 00:05:02,000
DAMN.
109
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:04,335
YOU KNOW, I LOST MY WATCH
ABOUT 2 MILES BACK.
110
00:05:04,403 --> 00:05:06,570
WHY DON'T YOU TWO GUYS GO BACK
AND GET IT FOR ME.
111
00:05:06,638 --> 00:05:09,708
WELL, THAT'S THE THIRD TIME
TODAY THAT YOU'VE LOST IT,
MR. PETERSON.
112
00:05:09,775 --> 00:05:12,944
WHAT CAN I TELL YOU,
I GOT THE GREASIEST WRISTS
IN NORTH AMERICA.
113
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:14,212
NOW BLOW.
114
00:05:15,380 --> 00:05:16,714
ISN'T HE DARLING?
115
00:05:16,782 --> 00:05:18,015
[laughing]
116
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:20,051
HE'S SO
OUT OF HIS ELEMENT HERE.
117
00:05:20,886 --> 00:05:23,053
AND YOU WANTED TO GO ALONE.
118
00:05:23,121 --> 00:05:24,522
YET YOU NEED US SO.
119
00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:27,558
LIKE A BABY NEEDS
HIS LITTER BOX.
120
00:05:27,626 --> 00:05:30,561
NOW YOU STAY RIGHT HERE,
YOU KNOW HOW EASILY
YOU GET LOST.
121
00:05:30,629 --> 00:05:32,130
NOT EASY ENOUGH.
122
00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:35,032
ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE GONNA BE OK
ALL BY YOURSELF AGAIN TODAY?
123
00:05:35,100 --> 00:05:36,834
GET OUT OF MY FACE.
124
00:05:36,902 --> 00:05:39,543
COME ON, LARRY, LET'S GO.
WE WANT TO GET BACK
BEFORE IT GETS DARK
125
00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:41,639
'CAUSE THESE WOODS
ARE FULL OF SAND PEOPLE.
126
00:05:41,707 --> 00:05:44,476
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THOSE TWO IDIOTS
KEEP FINDING ME.
127
00:05:46,678 --> 00:05:48,246
WELL,
128
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:51,382
THIS TIME
I'LL JUST COVER MY TRACKS.
129
00:05:52,551 --> 00:05:55,119
SWING THROUGH
THE TREES IF I HAVE TO.
130
00:05:58,657 --> 00:06:00,358
[birds chirping]
131
00:06:00,426 --> 00:06:04,161
FACE IT, CHRIS,
WE'RE NEVER GONNA
FIND YOUR DAD.
132
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:08,132
IT ALMOST SEEMS
AS THOUGH HIS TRAIL HAS BEEN
DELIBERATELY COVERED UP.
133
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,301
DO YOU THINK
THE SAND PEOPLE GOT HIM?
134
00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:12,871
THERE AREN'T ANY SAND PEOPLE,
YOU CEMENT HEAD.
135
00:06:12,938 --> 00:06:15,306
YOUR DAD
INTENTIONALLY LOST US.
136
00:06:15,373 --> 00:06:16,741
WAIT A SECOND HERE.
137
00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:19,410
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
MY OWN FLESH AND MUCUS HERE?
138
00:06:19,477 --> 00:06:22,413
I'M SORRY.
I SINCERELY DOUBT THAT.
139
00:06:22,481 --> 00:06:26,584
MAYBE HE SAW A COLORFUL
BUTTERFLY AND CHEERFULLY
CHASED AFTER IT.
140
00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:29,120
WELL, LUCKILY I AM
AN EXPERT TRACKER, SO...
141
00:06:29,187 --> 00:06:32,089
CHRIS, WE'VE PASSED
THIS SAME TREE 4 TIMES.
142
00:06:32,157 --> 00:06:35,826
LARRY, I'M NOT GONNA BE
DRAGGED INTO
THAT SAME ARGUMENT AGAIN, OK?
143
00:06:35,894 --> 00:06:38,129
IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE
PIXIE AND DIXIE RUNNING AROUND
144
00:06:38,197 --> 00:06:40,631
THE SAME COUCH AND END TABLE
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
145
00:06:40,699 --> 00:06:42,867
IT'S JUST THAT
CERTAIN TREES LOOK SIMILAR.
146
00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:46,971
THAT'S WHY THE LAST TIME
THAT WE PASSED THIS TREE,
I CARVED OUR NAMES IN IT.
147
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,609
WELL, LARRY,
THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING.
148
00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:53,911
I MEAN, THERE COULD BE
THOUSANDS OF CHRIS AND LARRYS
149
00:06:53,979 --> 00:06:55,846
RUNNING AROUND HERE
CARVING UP TREES.
150
00:06:55,914 --> 00:06:58,483
IF ONLY MY PARENTS HAD
LET ME CHANGE MY NAME TO COCO.
151
00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:01,519
CHRIS, IT'S THE SAME TREE,
WE'RE LOST.
152
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,787
[sighing] ALL RIGHT, LARRY.
153
00:07:02,854 --> 00:07:04,355
TO PROVE IT'S NOT
THE SAME TREE,
154
00:07:04,423 --> 00:07:07,892
I'LL SUBJECT IT TO A RIGOROUS
SCIENTIFIC ANALYSIS, OK?
155
00:07:09,728 --> 00:07:10,728
[sighing]
156
00:07:10,796 --> 00:07:11,962
[birds chirping]
157
00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:19,771
HMM.
158
00:07:21,039 --> 00:07:22,440
OK, WELL, UM,
159
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:25,175
IT'S BECOMING QUITE OBVIOUS
TO ME
160
00:07:25,243 --> 00:07:27,678
THAT SOME ANIMAL CONSIDERS
THIS TREE HIS TERRITORY.
161
00:07:29,614 --> 00:07:31,949
I'M STARTING TO GET HUNGRY.
DID YOU PACK ANY FOOD?
162
00:07:32,017 --> 00:07:34,519
BECAUSE ALL I HAVE
IS AN ASSORTMENT OF SWEATERS.
163
00:07:34,586 --> 00:07:36,721
DID I PACK ANY FOOD?
JEEZ.
164
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,322
DID I PACK ANY FOOD?
165
00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,659
I DON'T KNOW.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
166
00:07:42,828 --> 00:07:44,962
OK, LET'S SEE HERE.
167
00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:49,434
OK, AH,
168
00:07:49,501 --> 00:07:51,469
ONE WOMAN'S SHOE,
169
00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:54,171
AND, OH, A CAN OF SHOE POLISH.
170
00:07:55,841 --> 00:07:59,310
OH, HERE'S MY DESERT ISLAND
COLLECTION OF 45s.
171
00:07:59,378 --> 00:08:00,845
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
A LOOK AT THOSE,
172
00:08:00,912 --> 00:08:02,913
THERE MIGHT BE SOME
FUN ONES IN THERE.
173
00:08:02,981 --> 00:08:05,816
AND, UH, OH,
THERE'S AN EXTENSION CORD.
174
00:08:05,884 --> 00:08:08,252
AND THEN, LET'S SEE,
175
00:08:09,054 --> 00:08:11,889
1, 2, 3 STAPLERS,
176
00:08:11,957 --> 00:08:13,458
AND THEN JUST
SOME USELESS STUFF.
177
00:08:13,525 --> 00:08:16,794
IT'S ALL USELESS.
WHY DID YOU PACK THIS JUNK?
178
00:08:16,862 --> 00:08:19,530
BECAUSE IN CASE
THE WORLD ENDS WHILE
WE'RE FROLICKING UP HERE,
179
00:08:19,598 --> 00:08:21,699
WE'LL NEED THIS STUFF
TO REBUILD SOCIETY.
180
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:23,901
THAT MY FRIEND,
IS CALLED "THINKING AHEAD."
181
00:08:23,969 --> 00:08:25,035
[birds chirping]
182
00:08:25,103 --> 00:08:26,703
OH JEEZ,
I ALMOST FORGOT, AH.
183
00:08:26,771 --> 00:08:28,772
MY LUCKY CAN OF SOUP.
184
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,911
I ALWAYS CARRY THIS IN MY
PANTS WHEREVER I GO IN CASE
A SITUATION LIKE THIS ARISES.
185
00:08:34,045 --> 00:08:35,846
WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
TO OPEN IT WITH.
186
00:08:35,914 --> 00:08:38,983
LARRY, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
WE CAN'T OPEN THIS YET.
187
00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:42,153
WE HAVE TO SAVE IT
UNTIL WE'RE TOTALLY
AND ABSOLUTELY DESPERATE.
188
00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:44,288
SAY LIKE IN
ANOTHER 5 MINUTES OR SO.
189
00:08:44,356 --> 00:08:46,491
I KNEW THIS TRIP
WAS GONNA BE A DISASTER.
190
00:08:46,558 --> 00:08:48,859
LOOK, EVEN IN
THE WORST CASE SCENARIO,
191
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:53,731
I.E., WE'RE LOST OUT HERE
IN THE GOD FORSAKEN WILDERNESS
FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG,
192
00:08:53,798 --> 00:08:55,933
I'M SURE
THAT MY OVERPROTECTIVE FATHER
193
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,536
IS FRANTICALLY LOOKING FOR US
RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT.
194
00:09:00,071 --> 00:09:02,373
�[whistling]
195
00:09:08,447 --> 00:09:09,947
[grunting]
196
00:09:10,682 --> 00:09:11,882
JEEZ,
197
00:09:11,950 --> 00:09:14,052
YOU'D THINK IF THEY CAN PUT
A HORSE ON THE MOON,
198
00:09:14,119 --> 00:09:17,555
THEY COULD COME UP WITH
A CAN YOU COULD OPEN
BY BASHING AGAINST A ROCK.
199
00:09:18,523 --> 00:09:20,991
I'M REALLY HUNGRY, CHRIS.
200
00:09:21,059 --> 00:09:22,393
I FEEL WEAK.
201
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:25,162
ALL RIGHT, LARRY, RELAX,
RELAX. LET ME SEE.
202
00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:27,431
WELL, ACCORDING TO
MY SURVIVAL BOOK
203
00:09:27,499 --> 00:09:29,567
THAT I GLANCED THROUGH
ONCE WHEN I WAS A KID,
204
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:32,136
THERE LITERALLY SHOULD
BE FOOD ALL AROUND US HERE.
205
00:09:32,203 --> 00:09:34,643
(Larry) WHERE?
206
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,508
UH, JEEZ, AH, HOW ABOUT THIS?
207
00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:41,278
I AM NOT GOING TO EAT DIRT.
208
00:09:41,346 --> 00:09:43,614
WELL, LARRY,
THIS IS NATURE'S PERFECT FOOD.
209
00:09:43,681 --> 00:09:46,483
IT'S FULL OF MINERALS
AND VITAMINS AND FIBER.
210
00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:49,586
LIKE IRON AND, AH, STYROFOAM.
211
00:09:49,654 --> 00:09:52,389
NOT TO MENTION
TRACE ELEMENTS OF MERCURY.
212
00:09:58,563 --> 00:09:59,763
HMM.
213
00:10:01,766 --> 00:10:03,267
IT'S REALLY NOT BAD.
214
00:10:03,335 --> 00:10:05,255
IT KIND OF
TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.
215
00:10:06,104 --> 00:10:08,439
BEATS STORE-BOUGHT DIRT
ANY DAY.
216
00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:12,777
HMM, HMM.
217
00:10:13,912 --> 00:10:16,113
UM. OH.
218
00:10:17,215 --> 00:10:18,216
SEED.
219
00:10:21,053 --> 00:10:22,754
[birds chirping]
220
00:10:24,489 --> 00:10:26,057
[sighing]
221
00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:28,760
HMM, UM.
222
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:33,597
HMM.
223
00:10:34,432 --> 00:10:36,567
HERE, LARRY, TRY A STICK.
224
00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:40,270
IT'S AN OLD NAVAJO SNACK TREAT
DATING BACK
TO THE EARLY 21ST CENTURY.
225
00:10:40,338 --> 00:10:43,207
IT'S DELICIOUS.
IT'S... IT'S WHAT
THE CLARK BAR WAS BASED ON.
226
00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:45,409
I HAVE TO GET
SOMETHING REAL TO EAT.
227
00:10:45,477 --> 00:10:46,744
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.
228
00:10:46,811 --> 00:10:48,479
AFTER I'VE SLAVED
OVER THE TOPSOIL...
229
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:51,049
HONESTLY, WITH YOU,
SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW
WHY I BOTHER.
230
00:10:51,716 --> 00:10:54,085
LOOK, CHRIS.
231
00:10:54,485 --> 00:10:55,819
OVER THERE.
232
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:57,654
THERE'S SOME BERRIES.
233
00:11:03,661 --> 00:11:05,395
[birds chirping]
234
00:11:06,865 --> 00:11:08,766
AH.
235
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:12,937
LARRY, I... I HAVE
KIND OF A BAD FEELING
ABOUT THESE BERRIES.
236
00:11:13,004 --> 00:11:15,372
WHAT IF THEY'RE
TEETH STAINERS?
237
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:16,841
WHO CARES?
238
00:11:18,176 --> 00:11:19,744
AH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
239
00:11:21,046 --> 00:11:22,279
[birds chirping]
240
00:11:22,347 --> 00:11:23,748
WELL,
241
00:11:23,815 --> 00:11:27,417
THEY'RE PROBABLY COLD,
FRIGHTENED AND HUNGRY
BY NOW.
242
00:11:27,485 --> 00:11:29,686
I GUESS LEGALLY
I GOT TO GO FIND THEM.
243
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:42,500
[birds chirping]
244
00:11:48,907 --> 00:11:53,210
MY BIGGEST FEAR, LARRY,
IS THAT MY DAD IS HIDING
ON THE MOON.
245
00:11:53,278 --> 00:11:56,313
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
THE MOON MUST BE
A 100 MILES FROM HERE.
246
00:11:56,381 --> 00:11:58,516
DON'T YOU THINK
I KNOW THAT, IDIOT?
247
00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:00,585
I'M OF COURSE ASSUMING
THAT FIRST HE FELL
248
00:12:00,652 --> 00:12:02,953
INTO A TIME-SPACE PORTAL.
249
00:12:08,359 --> 00:12:10,360
HEY, CHRIS,
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD?
250
00:12:11,362 --> 00:12:12,597
NOTHING.
251
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,934
HEY,
252
00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:18,836
WHY THE LONG FACE?
253
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:22,573
UH-OH,
SOMETHING'S WRONG
WITH THESE BERRIES.
254
00:12:23,508 --> 00:12:25,009
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
255
00:12:25,076 --> 00:12:27,011
BECAUSE THEY'RE MESSING UP
OUR VISION.
256
00:12:28,246 --> 00:12:30,848
MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T EAT
ANY MORE.
257
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,617
DID YOU JUST CALL ME A WHORE?
258
00:12:32,684 --> 00:12:34,552
NO.
259
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:37,955
ARE YOU INSINUATING
THAT I'M NOT GOOD LOOKING
ENOUGH TO BE A FLOOR?
260
00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:41,659
YOU BANANA HEAD.
261
00:12:41,727 --> 00:12:43,060
THAT'S IT.
262
00:12:43,127 --> 00:12:44,628
THIS IS MY SIDE OF THE WORLD.
263
00:12:44,696 --> 00:12:48,056
UNTIL YOU FEEL LIKE
BEING CIVILIZED,
STAY ON YOUR OWN SIDE.
264
00:12:48,066 --> 00:12:49,500
JEEZ, I'M SO SCARED.
265
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:51,602
I'M SO FRIGHTENED.
266
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:54,391
THE LAST THING I'D EVER WANT
TO DO IS TOUCH YOUR SIDE
OF THE WORLD.
267
00:12:55,106 --> 00:12:57,341
BINK.
268
00:12:57,408 --> 00:13:00,611
FOR THE SAKE OF
OUR FRIENDSHIP, I'M GOING
TO PRETEND THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
269
00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:02,312
LIKE HELL, I WILL.
270
00:13:03,681 --> 00:13:06,617
LARRY, YOU'RE PLAYING
WITH FIRE.
271
00:13:06,684 --> 00:13:07,851
[Chris gasping]
272
00:13:07,919 --> 00:13:10,087
(Chris)
US GIANT OCTOPUSES
HAVE A HABIT
273
00:13:10,155 --> 00:13:13,424
OF SQUIRTING POISON WHEN WE
THINK WE'RE BEING ATTACKED
BY UNDERWATER POODLES.
274
00:13:13,491 --> 00:13:15,459
(Larry)
ARE YOU COMPLETELY
OUT OF YOUR MIND?
275
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:18,429
IF YOU WEREN'T 50 FEET TALL,
I'D PUNCH YOU IN YOUR BOSOM.
276
00:13:19,664 --> 00:13:22,632
(Fred)
LARRY. SHH. CHRIS. LARRY.
277
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,101
SOMEONE'S HUNTING FOR US.
278
00:13:24,168 --> 00:13:26,103
WHERE ARE YOU IDIOTS?
279
00:13:26,171 --> 00:13:28,105
AND HIS OPINION OF US IS LOW.
280
00:13:33,978 --> 00:13:35,412
[birds chirping]
281
00:13:36,414 --> 00:13:38,649
JEEZ, WHERE IS THAT BOY?
282
00:13:38,716 --> 00:13:43,287
IF HE FALLS INTO A GORGE,
HIS MOTHER WILL MAKE
MY LIFE HELL FOR HOURS.
283
00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:45,756
IF SOMETHING
DID HAPPEN TO HIM,
284
00:13:45,823 --> 00:13:48,359
EVERY SECOND COUNTS.
285
00:13:48,426 --> 00:13:50,661
NO TIME TO SCREW AROUND.
286
00:13:51,696 --> 00:13:54,136
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
HE'S HEAVILY ARMED.
287
00:13:57,535 --> 00:14:00,003
OOH, AH, AH.
I'VE BEEN HIT.
288
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,774
[shrieking] I'VE BEEN HIT.
289
00:14:03,841 --> 00:14:06,343
DON'T, DON'T.
SAVE YOURSELF, SAVE YOURSELF.
290
00:14:06,411 --> 00:14:08,813
I DON'T KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT BIRTHING NO BABY.
291
00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:14,151
LOOK, THERE HE IS.
292
00:14:16,554 --> 00:14:19,323
OH, WAIT.
NO, I RECOGNIZE HIM.
293
00:14:19,390 --> 00:14:22,692
THAT'S MY GIANT
TALKING PET HAMSTER,
PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT.
294
00:14:24,295 --> 00:14:25,663
WAIT.
295
00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:27,364
NO.
296
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,736
THAT'S NOT HIM,
THAT'S... THAT'S MY FATHER.
297
00:14:32,670 --> 00:14:34,405
WHY IS HE HUNTING FOR US?
298
00:14:34,472 --> 00:14:36,106
(Fred) ALL RIGHT, WOMAN.
299
00:14:37,408 --> 00:14:39,710
BUT IF YOU RUIN MY WEEKEND,
300
00:14:39,778 --> 00:14:41,779
I'LL KILL YOU.
301
00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:45,249
I'LL TERMINATE YOU
WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE.
302
00:14:45,316 --> 00:14:48,853
I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN LIKE
A DOG WITH LOVE HANDLES.
303
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:52,056
I'LL FILL YOUR FLANK
WITH A LEAD RABIES SHOT.
304
00:14:53,024 --> 00:14:54,224
THAT'S NICE DEAR.
305
00:14:54,292 --> 00:14:56,260
MAKE SURE HE SUFFERS.
306
00:15:01,032 --> 00:15:04,668
OH, OH, MY GOD.
307
00:15:04,735 --> 00:15:07,772
THIS IS WHY
HE'S BEEN FATTENING ME UP
ALL THESE YEARS.
308
00:15:07,839 --> 00:15:09,674
I'M HIS ULTIMATE TROPHY.
309
00:15:09,741 --> 00:15:10,707
HUH.
310
00:15:10,775 --> 00:15:12,509
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.
311
00:15:12,577 --> 00:15:14,945
HIM THREATENING TO KILL ME,
312
00:15:15,013 --> 00:15:17,414
HIS... HIS TALK
OF MURDER-SUICIDE PACTS,
313
00:15:17,482 --> 00:15:20,885
AND HIS HABIT
OF CHASING ME AROUND
THE HOUSE WITH A POWER DRILL.
314
00:15:22,086 --> 00:15:24,454
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY, LARRY,
315
00:15:24,522 --> 00:15:26,882
IS THAT WE'VE GOT
TO KILL HIM FIRST.
316
00:16:24,749 --> 00:16:26,449
[birds chirping]
317
00:16:28,019 --> 00:16:30,788
UH, THIS IS CHRIS'
LUCKY CAN OF SOUP.
318
00:16:31,956 --> 00:16:34,124
AND JUDGING BY
THE WAY IT'S BASHED IN,
319
00:16:34,192 --> 00:16:36,927
THE LUGHEAD FORGOT
HIS CAN OPENER AGAIN.
320
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,234
WHAT WENT WRONG?
321
00:16:44,302 --> 00:16:46,770
JEEZ, I DON'T KNOW.
322
00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:51,709
HUH, I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE
TIED THE END OF THIS STRING
TO A TREE OR SOMETHING.
323
00:16:51,776 --> 00:16:56,013
DAMN, I CURSE MYSELF
FOR NOT WATCHING
CARTOONS MORE CLOSELY.
324
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,116
WHAT DO WE USE FOR BAIT NOW?
HE STOLE OUR SILVER ROCK.
325
00:16:59,951 --> 00:17:02,385
HE'S TOYING WITH US, LARRY.
326
00:17:02,453 --> 00:17:07,124
IT'S TIME TO TEACH HIM
THAT WE'RE DONE PLAYING GAMES.
327
00:17:07,191 --> 00:17:09,393
GREAT, CHRIS.
REMEMBER,
328
00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:12,562
WHEN YOU DEVOUR YOUR ENEMY,
YOU GAIN HIS STRENGTH.
329
00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:14,765
OK, I GOT DIBS ON HIS FACE.
330
00:17:29,514 --> 00:17:31,315
PERFECT.
331
00:17:35,086 --> 00:17:36,720
SAY CHEESE.
332
00:17:51,436 --> 00:17:52,436
[groans]
333
00:17:54,005 --> 00:17:55,772
WHY DIDN'T YOU KILL HIM,
YOU IDIOT?
334
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,107
I CAN'T.
335
00:17:57,174 --> 00:17:58,609
THERE'S JUST
SOMETHING ABOUT HIM.
336
00:17:58,676 --> 00:18:03,414
HE'S TOO... TOO
CUTE AND CUDDLY
AND CHERUBIC AND LOVABLE.
337
00:18:03,481 --> 00:18:05,382
YOU KILL HIM.
338
00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:07,951
OK, YOU PATHETIC,
SNIVELING, LITTLE BABY,
AFRAID TO KILL SOMEONE WUSS.
339
00:18:08,019 --> 00:18:10,254
BUT YOU KEEP HIM BUSY
WHILE I SNEAK UP FROM BEHIND,
340
00:18:10,322 --> 00:18:13,357
BECAUSE AS WE PASSED BY,
I GOT A GOOD LOOK AT THOSE
7 INCH FANGS OF HIS.
341
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,859
OK. WHAT I'LL DO LARRY IS,
I'LL SPROUT WINGS LIKE CUPID
342
00:18:15,927 --> 00:18:18,529
AND I'LL HOVER ABOVE HIM.
GIVE ME A SECOND.
343
00:18:18,596 --> 00:18:21,264
[grunting]
344
00:18:24,402 --> 00:18:26,537
LARRY, I CAN'T GET
MY WINGS OUT.
345
00:18:26,604 --> 00:18:28,038
IT MUST BE TOO
MUCH CHOLESTEROL.
346
00:18:28,106 --> 00:18:29,640
JUST COVER HIM.
347
00:18:37,048 --> 00:18:38,215
OK, FREEZE.
348
00:18:38,282 --> 00:18:39,717
DROP IT RIGHT THERE.
349
00:18:39,784 --> 00:18:42,052
DROP WHAT?
THIS PACK OF GUM?
350
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,354
COME ON, DAD,
WHO DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE TALKING TO?
351
00:18:44,422 --> 00:18:47,124
THAT'S OBVIOUSLY
A LITTLE BOX CONTAINING
A MINIATURE WALRUS,
352
00:18:47,191 --> 00:18:49,960
WHICH, WHEN RELEASED,
WILL RUN UNDERNEATH
MY CLOTHING
353
00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:52,429
AND BITE ME IN
MY SECRET PARTS.
354
00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:53,897
WHAT DID YOU DO, CHRIS?
355
00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:56,934
EAT SOME BERRIES THAT
GAVE YOU HOMICIDAL DELUSIONS?
356
00:18:57,001 --> 00:18:59,502
YOU NEVER FAIL
TO ANNOY ME, BOY.
357
00:18:59,570 --> 00:19:01,671
DON'T CALL ME "BOY."
358
00:19:10,181 --> 00:19:11,882
YOU'RE GORGEOUS.
359
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:14,151
JEEZ, I LEAVE YOU GUYS
OUT HERE FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS
360
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,986
AND IT TURNS INTO
LORD OF THE FLIES.
361
00:19:16,054 --> 00:19:18,822
YOU'RE THE LOVELIEST
CREATURE I'VE EVER SEEN.
362
00:19:18,889 --> 00:19:20,790
I'VE BEEN PREDICTING
THIS FOR YEARS.
363
00:19:20,858 --> 00:19:22,559
GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.
364
00:19:22,627 --> 00:19:24,427
JUST ONE KISS?
365
00:19:24,495 --> 00:19:26,530
LARRY, LARRY,
GET AWAY FROM HIM.
366
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:27,731
YOU'RE DELUSIONAL.
367
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:30,167
CAN'T YOU SEE?
HE'S NOT A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
368
00:19:30,234 --> 00:19:34,638
HE'S A... HE'S A SICK,
BLOODTHIRSTY, HOMICIDAL,
4-HEADED AIR CONDITIONER.
369
00:19:34,705 --> 00:19:35,972
SLAY HIM. COME ON.
370
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,808
I'M NOT GONNA TANGLE WITH HER,
SHE'S OBVIOUSLY P.M.S.
371
00:19:38,876 --> 00:19:40,043
ALL RIGHT, THEN I WILL.
372
00:19:40,110 --> 00:19:41,311
(Larry) NO.
373
00:19:41,379 --> 00:19:43,047
(Chris) OH.
374
00:19:43,114 --> 00:19:46,516
ALWAYS WHEN YOU DO IT,
I GET SO...
375
00:19:47,218 --> 00:19:48,752
[grunting]
376
00:19:48,819 --> 00:19:51,388
I THINK MY BLOOD SUGAR'S
SUDDENLY TAKEN A NOSEDIVE.
377
00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:52,822
HOW ABOUT YOURS?
378
00:19:56,994 --> 00:19:59,663
[birds chirping]
379
00:20:05,570 --> 00:20:07,337
CHRIS, WHERE ARE WE?
380
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,177
I DON'T KNOW. THE PROM?
381
00:20:14,245 --> 00:20:16,145
DID OUR DATES BEAT US UP?
382
00:20:16,647 --> 00:20:18,348
OH.
383
00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:20,517
WE WERE LOST IN THE WOODS,
REMEMBER?
384
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:23,720
LOOK, FOOD.
385
00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:25,922
OH, YEAH.
386
00:20:25,990 --> 00:20:28,692
KIND OF LOOKS LIKE
LEFTOVERS, THOUGH,
AND I'M NOT HUNGRY.
387
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,061
ME, EITHER.
388
00:20:31,128 --> 00:20:33,730
WE PROBABLY ALREADY ATE IT.
I WONDER WHAT IT WAS?
389
00:20:33,798 --> 00:20:35,399
[sighing] I DON'T KNOW.
390
00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:39,303
WAIT,
I... I'M STARTING
TO REMEMBER NOW.
391
00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:42,338
NOW WE WERE HUNTING
A... A MONSTER
392
00:20:42,406 --> 00:20:44,842
THAT... THAT LOOKED
AN AWFUL LOT LIKE MY...
393
00:20:46,811 --> 00:20:49,380
OH, MY GOD.
LARRY, WE ATE MY DADDY.
394
00:20:50,782 --> 00:20:53,317
I DON'T THINK SO, CHRIS.
THIS SMELLS LIKE PORK.
395
00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:54,985
WELL... NO,
THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
396
00:20:55,052 --> 00:20:56,720
MY DAD LOVED PORK.
397
00:20:56,788 --> 00:20:59,623
BY THE TIME HE HIT 60, HE WAS
PROBABLY 90 PERCENT PORK.
398
00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:01,592
OH, DAMN.
399
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,460
THIS IS HORRIBLE.
400
00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:05,262
JEEZ.
401
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,298
ACTUALLY IT KIND OF
SMELLS SORT OF GOOD,
402
00:21:07,365 --> 00:21:09,733
MAYBE I'LL JUST HAVE
A LITTLE PIECE JUST
TO SEE WHAT IT TASTES.
403
00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:12,002
IT'S ABOUT TIME
YOU BABIES WOKE UP.
404
00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:15,205
OH, YOU'RE ALIVE,
YOU'RE ALIVE.
405
00:21:15,273 --> 00:21:18,642
OH, PAPA, I'VE NEVER BEEN
SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.
406
00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:21,611
GET AWAY FROM ME.
YOU'RE STILL SKUNKY.
407
00:21:21,679 --> 00:21:24,147
WHERE DID THIS FOOD
COME FROM, MR. PETERSON?
408
00:21:24,215 --> 00:21:27,050
I KILLED A WILD BOAR
AND SHOVED IT
DOWN YOUR THROATS
409
00:21:27,118 --> 00:21:29,019
WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING.
410
00:21:29,086 --> 00:21:32,789
WOW, WELL THEN,
YOU... YOU... YOU SAVED
OUR USELESS LIVES.
411
00:21:32,857 --> 00:21:35,225
WELL, I FIGURED AS LONG
AS YOUR MOTHER'S ALIVE,
412
00:21:35,292 --> 00:21:37,160
I DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING
TO HAPPEN TO YOU.
413
00:21:37,228 --> 00:21:39,148
NOW LET'S GET
THE HELL OUT OF HERE, OK?
414
00:21:39,163 --> 00:21:40,363
SO SOON?
415
00:21:40,431 --> 00:21:42,232
SOON?
THE WEEKEND'S OVER.
416
00:21:42,299 --> 00:21:45,536
YOU JERKS HAVE
BEEN ASLEEP FOR 15 HOURS.
417
00:21:45,603 --> 00:21:47,004
OOH, JEEZ, WELL.
418
00:21:47,071 --> 00:21:49,105
THEN I GUESS WE WANT
TO CHECK OUT BEFORE NOON
419
00:21:49,173 --> 00:21:51,742
SO WE'RE NOT CHARGED
FOR ANOTHER NIGHT.
COME ON, LARRY.
420
00:21:59,617 --> 00:22:01,618
MAY I CARRY
YOUR BACKPACK, HONEY?
421
00:22:01,686 --> 00:22:04,254
HEY, LARRY.
DON'T COME ON TO MY DAD.
422
00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:06,723
JEEZ. YOU KNOW
HOW MUCH I HATE THAT.
423
00:22:07,558 --> 00:22:08,959
DON'T LAUGH
AT MY PANTS.
424
00:22:09,026 --> 00:22:11,828
ALL RIGHT, SHUT UP.
HERE, GOOSIE, GOOSIE. GOOSIE!
425
00:22:11,896 --> 00:22:14,164
[barking]
426
00:22:14,232 --> 00:22:16,433
I COULD HAVE
LEFT THEM OUT HERE.
427
00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:18,635
NO ONE WOULD HAVE KNOWN.
428
00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:20,671
NO ONE WOULD HAVE KNOWN.32114
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