Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,533 --> 00:00:03,568
�[Stand by R.E.M. playing]
2
00:00:08,207 --> 00:00:09,741
[bicycle bell ringing]
3
00:00:09,842 --> 00:00:12,978
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
4
00:00:13,045 --> 00:00:14,445
� NOW FACE NORTH
5
00:00:14,513 --> 00:00:15,947
� THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
6
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:18,516
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE�
7
00:00:18,584 --> 00:00:21,586
� NOW STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU WORK �
8
00:00:21,654 --> 00:00:23,154
� NOW FACE WEST
9
00:00:23,222 --> 00:00:25,182
� THINK ABOUT THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
10
00:00:25,224 --> 00:00:27,358
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
11
00:00:27,426 --> 00:00:30,294
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
12
00:00:30,362 --> 00:00:31,696
� NOW FACE NORTH
13
00:00:31,764 --> 00:00:33,331
� THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
14
00:00:33,398 --> 00:00:35,667
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
15
00:00:35,735 --> 00:00:39,037
� NOW STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU WORK �
16
00:00:39,104 --> 00:00:40,772
� NOW FACE WEST
17
00:00:40,839 --> 00:00:42,640
� THINK ABOUT THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
18
00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:44,876
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
19
00:00:44,944 --> 00:00:48,346
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU ARE �
20
00:00:48,414 --> 00:00:50,749
� SO STAND
21
00:00:57,023 --> 00:00:58,156
[door opening]
22
00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:00,425
GOOD MORNING,
MOMMO AND POPPO.
23
00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:02,360
TODAY IS A VERY SPECIAL DAY
FOR ME.
24
00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:04,963
EVERY DAY SEEMS TO BE
A SPECIAL DAY FOR YOU, SON.
25
00:01:05,030 --> 00:01:07,865
AND, FRANKLY, WE'RE GETTING
PRETTY SICK OF IT.
26
00:01:07,933 --> 00:01:09,934
NO. TODAY I REALLY MEAN IT.
27
00:01:10,002 --> 00:01:13,338
GUESS WHO'S GONNA BE
AT DREXLER'S DEPARTMENT STORE?
28
00:01:13,405 --> 00:01:15,640
MY SOUL MATE.
29
00:01:15,707 --> 00:01:20,344
YOU MEAN THAT WEIRD GUY
IN SPORTING GOODS
WHO HAS THE STRANGE STINK?
30
00:01:20,412 --> 00:01:23,048
NO. NO.
WE LOST TOUCH RECENTLY.
31
00:01:23,115 --> 00:01:26,384
NO. THIS IS EVEN BETTER.
NOW, BRACE YOURSELVES.
32
00:01:26,452 --> 00:01:29,254
IT'S THAT GORGEOUS
SUPERMODEL SLASH ACTRESS,
33
00:01:29,321 --> 00:01:31,522
NICOLETTE PRESTON.
34
00:01:31,524 --> 00:01:32,991
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
35
00:01:33,058 --> 00:01:36,460
I READ SHE WAS IN TOWN
HAWKING SOME SNAKE OIL
WITH HER NAME ON IT.
36
00:01:36,528 --> 00:01:39,297
IT'S PERFUME, MA.
HERE, SMELL.
37
00:01:40,199 --> 00:01:41,399
[sniffing]
38
00:01:42,034 --> 00:01:43,802
[sighs]
39
00:01:43,869 --> 00:01:46,537
I'M FINALLY GONNA MEET
THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS,
40
00:01:46,605 --> 00:01:47,873
OH, IT'S GONNA BE WONDERFUL.
41
00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:51,510
[sniffs]
WE'LL PROBABLY TALK
FOR... FOR HOURS ON END
42
00:01:51,577 --> 00:01:53,645
AND... AND THEN MAYBE
WE'LL EVEN SHARE SOME RAISINS,
43
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:57,381
WHICH, AT THIS VERY MOMENT,
ARE GETTING NICE AND GUSHY
IN MY PANTS.
44
00:01:57,449 --> 00:01:59,417
CHRIS, HONEY,
I WOULD NEVER BE
THE ONE TO CRUSH
45
00:01:59,485 --> 00:02:02,019
YOUR MOST PRECIOUS, FRAGILE
HOPES AND DREAMS,
46
00:02:02,087 --> 00:02:05,257
BUT IF YOU WERE LYING
ON THE GROUND
ALMOST DEAD FROM THIRST,
47
00:02:05,324 --> 00:02:09,294
NICOLETTE PRESTON
WOULDN'T TAKE THE TIME
TO SPIT IN YOUR FACE.
48
00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:11,028
HEAR, HEAR.
49
00:02:11,096 --> 00:02:13,764
YOU'RE BOTH WRONG.
50
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:17,168
DON'T YOU SEE? WE SHARE
A SPECIAL CONNECTION.
51
00:02:17,236 --> 00:02:20,104
ONE THAT CAN ONLY BE FORMED
AFTER SPENDING HOURS
52
00:02:20,172 --> 00:02:22,307
STARING AT HER PICTURE
IN A MAGAZINE
53
00:02:22,374 --> 00:02:24,809
OR... OR SITTING THROUGH
ENDLESS SHOWINGS
OF HER LATEST FILM
54
00:02:24,876 --> 00:02:26,978
UNTIL MY CLOTHES ARE
ALL DAMP WITH SATURATED FATS
55
00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:29,113
AND MY REAR IS
ALL NUMB AND SWOLLEN.
56
00:02:29,181 --> 00:02:32,317
EW!
SO MUCH FOR BREAKFAST.
57
00:02:32,384 --> 00:02:34,952
NICOLETTE'S GOT TO HAVE FELT
THAT CONNECTION HERSELF,
58
00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:38,155
IN HER MIND AND IN HER HEART
AND... AND IN HER BLADDER.
59
00:02:38,223 --> 00:02:40,758
[whispering]
I DON'T KNOW WHY THERE,
BUT I THINK PROBABLY...
60
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:42,960
WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T?
61
00:02:43,028 --> 00:02:44,796
[chuckling] OH, DAD, PLEASE.
62
00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:48,299
I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BEGIN
TO THINK OF THE RAMIFICATIONS
OF THAT NIGHTMARE POSSIBILITY.
63
00:02:48,366 --> 00:02:50,668
LET'S JUST SAY THAT THE WORD
"BLOODBATH" COMES TO MIND.
64
00:02:52,905 --> 00:02:55,307
NO, I'M JUST JOKING. OR AM I?
I DON'T KNOW.
65
00:02:55,374 --> 00:02:58,175
WHO SAID THAT? NOT ME, HIM.
WHO? YOU. PLUS TAX. OOH!
66
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:02,380
$5 SAYS HE'S IN JAIL
BY NOON.
67
00:03:08,287 --> 00:03:09,520
[elevator bell dings]
68
00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:13,351
[scoffing]
OH. GREAT.
69
00:03:13,392 --> 00:03:16,261
I'M GONNA HAVE TO STAND
IN THIS LINE OF IDIOTS
FOR HOURS.
70
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:18,496
[sighs]
71
00:03:18,564 --> 00:03:22,066
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST THINK
OF AN INGENIOUS WAY
TO GET AHEAD OF ALL OF THEM.
72
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,506
OH! THE HELL WITH THAT.
ALL RIGHT, MOVE! MOVE!
MOVE IT! OUT OF THE WAY!
73
00:03:28,574 --> 00:03:31,543
ALL RIGHT, MOVE IT!
MOVE IT, JARHEAD! MAKE ROOM
FOR A REAL FAN.
74
00:03:31,610 --> 00:03:33,845
COME ON. I LIKE HER
BETTER THAN YOU DO, COME ON!
MOVE IT!
75
00:03:33,912 --> 00:03:36,681
OK, VERY NICE,
OK, PAL, VERY NICE.
76
00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:39,149
THAT'S GONNA MAKE
AN EXCITING ENTRY
INTO YOUR DIARY, ISN'T IT?
77
00:03:39,151 --> 00:03:40,685
OFF YOU GO.
78
00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:42,587
WATCH THE TOWHEAD
OVER THERE.
79
00:03:42,654 --> 00:03:44,255
HE LOOKS LIKE
A MAJOR PSYCHO.
80
00:03:44,323 --> 00:03:46,023
YOU POOR THING.
81
00:03:46,091 --> 00:03:47,992
[grunting]
82
00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:51,162
I BET YOU HAVE TO PUT UP
WITH LOSERS LIKE HIM
ALL DAY, HUH?
83
00:03:51,229 --> 00:03:53,230
SOME DAYS ARE LONGER
THAN OTHERS.
84
00:03:56,602 --> 00:03:58,603
MISS PRESTON,
85
00:03:58,671 --> 00:04:01,238
MY NAME IS CHRIS PETERSON.
86
00:04:01,306 --> 00:04:03,474
AND I AM YOUR SOUL MATE.
87
00:04:07,612 --> 00:04:09,047
[static sparking]
88
00:04:17,356 --> 00:04:18,990
[panting]
89
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:21,225
WOW! BOY.
90
00:04:21,293 --> 00:04:24,696
THE STATIC ELECTRICITY
REALLY BUILDS UP
IN THIS CARPET.
91
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:28,867
CHRIS, NO ONE'S EVER MADE ME
FEEL LIKE THAT BEFORE.
92
00:04:28,934 --> 00:04:30,935
REALLY?
WELL, IT'S ALL FOR REAL.
93
00:04:31,003 --> 00:04:33,771
I MEAN, YOU CAN SEARCH ME
FOR A JOY BUZZER IF YOU WANT.
94
00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:35,406
[laughing]
95
00:04:35,474 --> 00:04:36,474
[Nicolette exclaiming]
96
00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:38,710
YOU'RE SO FUNNY.
97
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:41,446
NO ONE'S EVER MADE ME
LAUGH LIKE THAT.
98
00:04:42,181 --> 00:04:43,414
WOW!
99
00:04:43,482 --> 00:04:44,883
WELL, I GUESS
MY FAITHFUL READING
100
00:04:44,950 --> 00:04:48,419
OF THE FAMILY CIRCUS COMIC
EVERYDAY HAS FINALLY PAID OFF.
101
00:04:48,487 --> 00:04:51,022
I LOVE THE FAMILY CIRCUS.
102
00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:54,625
[exclaiming]
REALLY? ISN'T IT JUST
FALL-DOWN FUNNY?
103
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:56,560
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
104
00:04:56,628 --> 00:04:57,862
PEACH.
105
00:04:57,930 --> 00:05:00,164
MINE, TOO. YOUR FAVORITE SONG?
106
00:05:00,232 --> 00:05:03,267
BILLY, DON'T BE A HERO.MINE, TOO.
107
00:05:03,335 --> 00:05:06,237
W-WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE
BUGS BUNNY CARTOON?
108
00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:09,307
THE ONE WHERE DAFFY
KEEPS TRYING TO GET BUGS
KILLED BY HUNTERS,
109
00:05:09,374 --> 00:05:10,942
BUT HE KEEPS
GETTING SHOT HIMSELF
110
00:05:11,009 --> 00:05:14,045
AND HIS BILL KEEPS WINDING UP
IN ALL DIFFERENT PLACES
ON HIS FACE.
111
00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:16,213
YES! YES! MINE, TOO.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
112
00:05:16,281 --> 00:05:18,215
LOOK, I... I EVEN WROTE IT DOWN
113
00:05:18,283 --> 00:05:20,485
IN... IN CASE A SITUATION AROSE
WHERE I HAD TO PROVE IT
TO SOMEBODY.
114
00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:23,621
LOOK, SEE. RIGHT THERE. NOW,
MY SYNOPSIS MAY VARY
A LITTLE BIT FROM YOURS,
115
00:05:23,689 --> 00:05:25,990
BUT I THINK
IT'S PRETTY MUCH...
116
00:05:26,058 --> 00:05:27,425
WHAT ARE THOSE?
117
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:29,027
JUST SOME RAISINS.
118
00:05:29,094 --> 00:05:32,063
I ADORE RAISINS.
LOOK! LOOK!
119
00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:34,765
I KEEP THEM RIGHT HERE
IN MY POCKET
SO THEY'LL GET ALL
120
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:36,667
(both) NICE AND GUSHY.
121
00:05:38,703 --> 00:05:42,473
WE ARE LIKE... SOUL MATES.
122
00:05:44,109 --> 00:05:45,743
I TOLD YOU.
123
00:05:45,810 --> 00:05:48,913
NICOLETTE,
COME AWAY WITH ME.
124
00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:52,650
AWAY FROM... FROM ALL OF THIS.
125
00:05:52,718 --> 00:05:55,687
BUT I CAN'T. I MEAN,
LOOK AT ALL THE PEOPLE
WHO ARE WAITING.
126
00:05:57,088 --> 00:05:59,223
LET THEM ALL GO TO HADES.
127
00:06:00,692 --> 00:06:03,012
THIS IS THE CHANCE
OF A LIFETIME.
128
00:06:03,562 --> 00:06:05,363
TRUST ME.
129
00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:07,765
W-WHERE WILL WE GO?
130
00:06:07,833 --> 00:06:09,400
JEEZ, I DON'T KNOW, I...
131
00:06:09,468 --> 00:06:12,348
HOW ABOUT A RIDE
IN A SPEEDBOAT?
OK.
132
00:06:21,446 --> 00:06:23,014
I KNEW IT! GET HIM.
133
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:24,848
[people screaming]
134
00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:28,652
NO! NO! WAIT!
FELLAS, IT'S OK.
135
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,789
WE WERE JUST RUNNING OFF
TOGETHER.
136
00:06:30,856 --> 00:06:32,423
OH, SORRY.
137
00:06:35,361 --> 00:06:39,664
OH, CHRIS, I'VE NEVER HAD
SO MUCH FUN IN ALL MY LIFE.
138
00:06:39,731 --> 00:06:42,266
YEAH. ME NEITHER.
139
00:06:42,334 --> 00:06:44,735
I THINK IT'S TIME
YOU MEET MY PARENTS.
140
00:06:44,803 --> 00:06:46,370
OK.
141
00:06:46,438 --> 00:06:50,074
CHRIS, FOR GOD'S SAKE,
ABDUCTING A CELEBRITY
IS A MAJOR FELONY.
142
00:06:50,142 --> 00:06:53,644
THEY'LL HANG YOU UP
BY YOUR BUSTER BROWNS, BOY.
143
00:06:53,712 --> 00:06:56,280
JEEZ, MOM, DAD,
YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME,
144
00:06:56,348 --> 00:07:00,818
COME ON. GOSH, EVERY TIME
I BRING A WOMAN HOME,
YOU ACT LIKE I KIDNAPPED HER.
145
00:07:00,885 --> 00:07:06,191
OK, SO, ONE TIME I DID.
BUT, COME ON, THAT WAS
3 YEARS AGO.
146
00:07:06,258 --> 00:07:09,694
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO
TO CONVINCE YOU
THAT SHE REALLY LIKES ME?
147
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,430
WELL, LET GO OF HER AND SEE
IF SHE MAKES A RUN FOR IT.
148
00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:15,333
[sighing] OH.
149
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:16,935
OK. UH.
150
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,808
I'LL BE DAMNED.
SHE MUST BE NUTS.
151
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:28,613
SO, MOM, DAD,
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HER?
152
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:31,081
WELL, SHE'S SURE NOT
HARD ON THE EYES.
153
00:07:31,149 --> 00:07:35,386
AND SHE DOESN'T STRIKE ME
AS PARTICULARLY SLUTTY.
154
00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:38,556
NICOLETTE,
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THEM?
155
00:07:38,623 --> 00:07:41,258
I'VE MET WORSE.
156
00:07:41,326 --> 00:07:43,961
NOW, I GUESS THE NEXT STEP
IS PAINFULLY OBVIOUS.
157
00:07:44,029 --> 00:07:45,129
[clears throat]
158
00:07:45,196 --> 00:07:46,931
[groaning]
159
00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:48,466
[grunting]
160
00:07:49,234 --> 00:07:50,735
[clears throat]
161
00:07:50,802 --> 00:07:53,270
NICOLETTE, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
162
00:07:57,275 --> 00:07:59,543
THAT'S IT, HE'S AIRBORNE.
163
00:07:59,611 --> 00:08:02,079
OH, YES, CHRIS, I WILL.
164
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:03,280
[sighs]
165
00:08:04,316 --> 00:08:06,617
HOLY TOLEDO.
166
00:08:14,626 --> 00:08:16,627
THANK YOU FOR COMING
ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.
167
00:08:16,695 --> 00:08:19,863
CHRIS, THIS IS INCREDIBLE,
JUST INCREDIBLE.
DO YOU REALIZE THAT?
168
00:08:19,931 --> 00:08:21,866
[sighing] MISS PRESTON,
169
00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:24,935
SURELY, YOU ARE AWARE
OF THE MANY FACILITIES
170
00:08:25,003 --> 00:08:27,738
TO WHICH YOU COULD GO
FOR THERAPY.
171
00:08:27,806 --> 00:08:29,774
WHO IS THIS BITCH?
172
00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:31,942
DON'T WORRY, HONEY, IT'S JUST
AN OLD JILTED LOVER.
173
00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:33,143
[door opening]
174
00:08:33,211 --> 00:08:35,012
OK, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.
175
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,848
MY PROSTATE FEELS BIGGER
THAN A BASKETBALL.
176
00:08:38,850 --> 00:08:40,518
LOVELY.
177
00:08:40,585 --> 00:08:42,287
BLESS YOU, ME LORD.
178
00:08:43,655 --> 00:08:46,057
I ASSUME YOU'VE HAD
YOUR BLOOD TESTS?
179
00:08:46,124 --> 00:08:51,295
UH, YES, IN FACT, WE DID THEM
OURSELVES AT HOME
AND EVERYTHING TASTED FINE.
180
00:08:51,363 --> 00:08:52,863
DO YOU HAVE A RING?
181
00:08:52,931 --> 00:08:55,700
[laughing]
DO I HAVE A RING?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
182
00:08:55,767 --> 00:08:59,127
WITH THE KIND OF MONEY
SHE MAKES, SHE SHOULD
BUY ME A RING.
183
00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:01,706
HERE, YOU CAN USE MINE.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
184
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,374
THAT COULD BE HER WHOLE SCAM.
185
00:09:03,442 --> 00:09:05,309
AS SOON AS HE SLIPS
THAT RING ON HER FINGER,
186
00:09:05,377 --> 00:09:07,645
SHE COULD TAKE OFF
LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL.
187
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:10,214
FRED, I TRUST HER.
188
00:09:10,282 --> 00:09:13,050
BUT IF THAT SHOULD
TURN OUT TO BE THE CASE,
SO HELP ME,
189
00:09:13,118 --> 00:09:16,520
I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN
LIKE A LITTLE BRUNETTE ANIMAL.
190
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:19,724
[clears throat]
191
00:09:19,791 --> 00:09:24,695
DO YOU, NICOLETTE PRESTON,
TAKE THIS BOY TO BE YOUR
LAWFUL WEDDED HUSBAND?
192
00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:27,398
I DO.
193
00:09:27,466 --> 00:09:30,301
AND DO YOU, CHRIS PETERSON,
TAKE THIS WOMAN
194
00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,336
TO BE YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE?
195
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:34,105
I DO.
196
00:09:34,172 --> 00:09:37,574
OK, I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
MAN AND WIFE.
197
00:09:37,642 --> 00:09:39,911
YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE.
198
00:09:39,978 --> 00:09:44,381
[scoffing]
OH, YEAH, LIKE I REALLY
NEED YOUR PERMISSION FOR THAT.
199
00:09:44,449 --> 00:09:48,886
OH, FRED, THIS IS PROBABLY
THE MOST SPECIAL MOMENT
OF OUR ENTIRE LIVES.
200
00:09:48,954 --> 00:09:53,090
YEAH. WHILE I'M HERE,
COULD I GET A FISHING LICENSE?
201
00:09:53,158 --> 00:09:54,959
FRED.
202
00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:57,228
COME ON, HONEY,
LET'S GO HOME.
203
00:09:57,295 --> 00:09:58,930
[sighs]
204
00:09:58,997 --> 00:10:02,066
GOODBYE. GOODBYE.
205
00:10:20,919 --> 00:10:23,421
(Sharon) OH, CHRIS, I'M SORRY.
206
00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:26,157
MUST HAVE GOTTEN MIXED IN
WITH THE RICE SOMEHOW.
207
00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:35,233
[sighing]
OH, CHRIS, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
208
00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:39,437
SUCH A REFRESHING CHANGE
FROM MY RAMBLING
HOLLYWOOD MANSION.
209
00:10:39,504 --> 00:10:42,873
[grunting]
I THINK I SPRAINED MY REAR
CARRYING YOU UP HERE.
210
00:10:42,941 --> 00:10:43,874
OH.
211
00:10:47,912 --> 00:10:49,580
[sighs]
212
00:11:06,765 --> 00:11:10,067
(Nicolette)
OH, CHRIS,
THAT WAS INCREDIBLE.
213
00:11:10,135 --> 00:11:11,936
[Chris sighs]
214
00:11:12,003 --> 00:11:16,106
[coughing]
YEAH. IT SURE WAS.
SORRY ABOUT ALL THE FOG.
215
00:11:16,174 --> 00:11:18,774
[clearing throat]
I GET IT IN HERE
THIS TIME OF DAY.
216
00:11:20,612 --> 00:11:23,213
[bird squawking]
OUT YOU GO. COME ON.
217
00:11:25,483 --> 00:11:27,417
[sighing] OK.
218
00:11:27,485 --> 00:11:29,353
YOU ARE AMAZING.
219
00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:30,922
[sighs]
220
00:11:30,989 --> 00:11:34,458
NO ONE IN HOLLYWOOD COULD DO
WHAT YOU JUST DID.
221
00:11:34,526 --> 00:11:37,461
REALLY? NOT EVEN ROY CLARK?
222
00:11:37,528 --> 00:11:39,930
OH, WE'RE GOING TO BE
SO HAPPY TOGETHER,
AREN'T WE?
223
00:11:39,998 --> 00:11:43,201
OH, YOU BET. WE'RE PERFECT
FOR EACH OTHER.
224
00:11:43,268 --> 00:11:44,868
[laughing]
225
00:11:44,936 --> 00:11:48,272
SO, WHAT SHOULD WE
DO TODAY?
226
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:51,842
WELL, HMM. I'M GONNA READ
THE NEWSPAPER.
227
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:54,645
I'VE GOT ABOUT A WEEK'S WORTH
OF CATCHING UP TO DO
WITH MY FUNNIES.
228
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,808
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS.
I'M GONNA READ THEM OUT LOUD.
229
00:11:56,815 --> 00:11:59,216
I HAVE A CUTE LITTLE VOICE
FOR ALL THE CHARACTERS.
230
00:11:59,284 --> 00:12:03,454
SOUNDS LIKE FUN,
BUT I WAS KIND OF HOPING
WE COULD GO TO THE MOVIES.
231
00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:05,456
WHAT?
232
00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:06,924
I WANT TO GO
TO THE MOVIES.
233
00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:08,659
[sighs]
234
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:11,696
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT
YOU SAID. WHAT, DO YOU THINK
I'M MADE OF MONEY?
235
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:18,035
AM I SUPPOSED TO STAY
COOPED UP IN HERE
ALL DAY WHILE YOU READ?
236
00:12:18,103 --> 00:12:22,540
OK, SO, NOW YOU'RE COOPED UP.
YOU KNOW, THIS PLACE
USED TO BE FINE WITH YOU.
237
00:12:22,607 --> 00:12:26,210
IT IS FINE. BUT YOU NEVER
TAKE ME ANYWHERE.
238
00:12:26,277 --> 00:12:27,645
[panting] NICOLETTE,
239
00:12:27,712 --> 00:12:29,913
AFTER A HARD DAY AT WORK
DELIVERING NEWSPAPERS,
240
00:12:29,981 --> 00:12:32,349
I COME HOME AND I'M TIRED. OK?
241
00:12:32,417 --> 00:12:35,086
AND I DESERVE
A LITTLE REST AND RELAXATION.
242
00:12:35,153 --> 00:12:38,522
AND I DO NOT WANT TO BE
DRAGGED ALL OVER
THE DAMN U.S. OF A.
243
00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:41,625
WELL, I'M TIRED, TOO.
I'M TIRED
OF YOUR ATTITUDE.
244
00:12:41,693 --> 00:12:45,729
WILL YOU STOP NAGGING ME?
ALL YOU DO IS COMPLAIN!
245
00:12:45,797 --> 00:12:49,200
WHY SHOULD I TAKE YOU OUT,
ANYWAY? YOU NEVER DRESS UP
FOR ME ANYMORE.
246
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,735
WHY SHOULD I?
WE NEVER GO ANYWHERE.
247
00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:54,171
BECAUSE I'M NOT MADE OF MONEY!
248
00:12:54,239 --> 00:12:55,999
I'M SO SICK
OF THE SAME ARGUMENT
ALL THE TIME.
249
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,508
YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY.
250
00:12:57,575 --> 00:12:59,243
WELL, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY.
251
00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:00,377
GO TO HELL!
252
00:13:00,445 --> 00:13:01,779
[exclaiming]
253
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,147
NICOLETTE, WAIT.
254
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,549
[door banging shut]
NICOLETTE, WAIT.
255
00:13:04,616 --> 00:13:07,985
AH, THE HELL WITH THEM.
WHO NEEDS WOMEN, ANYWAY?
256
00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:09,386
[grunting]
257
00:13:13,424 --> 00:13:15,926
[sniffing]
OH, MY. WHAT'S
THE MATTER, DEAR?
258
00:13:15,994 --> 00:13:18,395
YEAH, DID YOUR
HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTION
SUDDENLY KICK IN
259
00:13:18,463 --> 00:13:22,433
AND YOU FINALLY REALIZED
HOW YOU THREW AWAY
YOUR ENTIRE LIFE?
260
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:24,668
WE HAD OUR FIRST FIGHT.
261
00:13:24,736 --> 00:13:27,371
BUT YOU 2 WERE GETTING ALONG
SO WELL.
262
00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:29,974
[sobbing]
WE WERE IN THE BEGINNING.
263
00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:32,943
BUT NOT ANYMORE. HE... HE WON'T
TAKE ME ANYWHERE.
264
00:13:33,011 --> 00:13:35,846
HE'S STARTED TO TAKE ME
FOR GRANTED.
265
00:13:35,914 --> 00:13:40,017
OH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE
EXACTLY WHAT HE'S DOING, DEAR.
266
00:13:40,084 --> 00:13:43,120
AND YOU'RE JUST
GONNA HAVE TO GET USED TO IT.
WHAT?
267
00:13:43,187 --> 00:13:45,789
ALL THE PETERSON MEN
TAKE THEIR WOMEN FOR GRANTED.
268
00:13:45,857 --> 00:13:48,926
IT'S A SACRED TRADITION
WITH US.
269
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,762
BUT ALL I WANTED TO DO
WAS GO TO THE MOVIES.
270
00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:56,033
MOVIES? WHAT DO YOU THINK,
HE'S MADE OF MONEY?
271
00:13:56,101 --> 00:13:59,836
"WHY, MR. FREBO, YOU LOOK
LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO VOMIT."
272
00:13:59,904 --> 00:14:03,274
[squeaking]
"DON'T BE RIDICULOUS,
I CAN HOLD MY LIQUOR."
273
00:14:03,341 --> 00:14:04,675
[knocking on door]
274
00:14:04,742 --> 00:14:06,077
HI, CHRISSIE.
275
00:14:06,144 --> 00:14:07,611
OH, HI, PATTI.
276
00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:10,180
I WAS JUST WONDERING
IF I COULD BORROW SOME SUGAR.
277
00:14:10,248 --> 00:14:11,815
SURE. AHEM.
278
00:14:13,117 --> 00:14:15,519
HOW MANY BAGS DO YOU NEED?
279
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:16,787
JUST ONE.
280
00:14:17,255 --> 00:14:18,689
OK.
281
00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:20,090
[grunting]
282
00:14:23,428 --> 00:14:24,528
OH.
283
00:14:24,595 --> 00:14:25,729
[grunts]
284
00:14:25,796 --> 00:14:27,564
SO, WHAT'S NEW, BIG GUY?
285
00:14:27,632 --> 00:14:30,301
[sighing] NOT A WHOLE LOT.
286
00:14:30,368 --> 00:14:32,202
I GOT MARRIED.
287
00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:36,540
OH, WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.
I THOUGHT I HADN'T SEEN
YOU AROUND.
288
00:14:36,607 --> 00:14:39,476
YEAH, WELL, MARRIED LIFE
KIND OF CHANGES EVERYTHING.
289
00:14:39,544 --> 00:14:41,645
I HAVEN'T SEEN
ANY OF MY FRIENDS LATELY.
290
00:14:41,712 --> 00:14:43,980
STILL, THEY SAY
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE IT.
291
00:14:44,616 --> 00:14:45,882
I GUESS.
292
00:14:45,950 --> 00:14:48,118
I MEAN, IN THE BEGINNING
IT WAS FINE,
293
00:14:48,186 --> 00:14:52,723
BUT, I DON'T KNOW,
NOW WE'RE GOING THROUGH,
KIND OF, A ROUGH PATCH.
294
00:14:52,790 --> 00:14:56,994
OH. THAT'S... TOO BAD.
295
00:14:57,061 --> 00:14:59,296
WELL, I JUST
WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I'M AVAILABLE
296
00:14:59,364 --> 00:15:01,765
IF YOU EVER WANNA
TALK ABOUT IT.
297
00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:03,100
[static sparking]
298
00:15:05,103 --> 00:15:07,471
UH, UH.
299
00:15:07,538 --> 00:15:09,819
I THINK YOU BETTER
BE GOING NOW.
300
00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:12,509
WHY?
301
00:15:12,577 --> 00:15:14,879
I'M NOT IN ANY HURRY.
302
00:15:30,895 --> 00:15:31,895
[exclaiming]
303
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:40,804
[Pat gasping]
304
00:15:40,872 --> 00:15:41,905
[door opening]
305
00:15:41,973 --> 00:15:43,374
[whirring]
306
00:15:43,441 --> 00:15:44,475
(Nicolette) CHRIS?
307
00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:46,310
[Chris grunting]
308
00:15:46,745 --> 00:15:47,978
CHRIS!
309
00:15:50,248 --> 00:15:51,648
HOW COULD YOU?
310
00:15:51,716 --> 00:15:54,451
UH, UH, NICOLETTE, HONEY.
311
00:15:54,519 --> 00:15:57,220
SWEETHEART, POOKIE POO.
312
00:15:57,288 --> 00:15:59,557
I SWEAR, WE WERE
JUST BARBECUING.
313
00:15:59,624 --> 00:16:03,861
DON'T LIE TO ME, CHRIS.
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH
TOO MUCH TOGETHER FOR THIS.
314
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:06,797
WELL, I REALLY THINK
I OUGHT TO BE GOING NOW.
315
00:16:07,832 --> 00:16:09,933
NOT SO FAST, HOME WRECKER!
316
00:16:10,001 --> 00:16:12,321
NO, REALLY, I JUST...
RIGHT ACROSS THE...
317
00:16:12,336 --> 00:16:14,371
[grunting]
318
00:16:19,344 --> 00:16:21,045
OK, HONEY, SO, UM,
319
00:16:21,112 --> 00:16:23,314
MAYBE THERE WAS SOMETHING
GOING ON HERE,
320
00:16:23,381 --> 00:16:25,816
BUT... BUT I SWEAR,
I-I-IT MEANT NOTHING TO ME.
321
00:16:25,884 --> 00:16:27,952
IT WAS JUST A MEANINGLESS
LITTLE FLING. I MEAN,
322
00:16:28,019 --> 00:16:31,488
Y-YOU KNOW, IT'S PROBABLY
WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YOU KNOW, THE 7 HOUR ITCH.
323
00:16:31,556 --> 00:16:33,657
YOU CHEATED ON ME, CHRIS.
324
00:16:33,725 --> 00:16:37,394
YOU HAD AN AFFAIR
IN... IN OUR HOUSE,
IN OUR BED!
325
00:16:37,462 --> 00:16:39,096
[sighs]
326
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,966
OK, SO YOU MADEONE LITTLE MISTAKE.
327
00:16:42,033 --> 00:16:46,170
DON'T SHOW ANY WEAKNESS NOWOR SHE'LL OWNYOUR BUTT FOREVER.
328
00:16:46,237 --> 00:16:50,640
I'M SORRY, NICOLETTE!
I'M SORRY! PLEASE,
FORGIVE ME!
329
00:16:50,708 --> 00:16:51,876
[sobbing]
330
00:16:51,943 --> 00:16:56,547
I BEG YOU! PLEASE!
WE CAN WORK THIS OUT,
CAN'T WE?
331
00:16:57,482 --> 00:16:58,882
OK, CHRIS.
332
00:16:58,950 --> 00:17:00,651
I'M WILLING TO WORK
ON IT IF YOU ARE,
333
00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:03,687
BUT WE CAN'T DO THIS ALONE.
WE'VE GOT TO GET COUNSELING.
334
00:17:04,188 --> 00:17:05,322
HUH?
335
00:17:06,958 --> 00:17:09,226
[snickering]
I GOTTA BE HONEST HERE, OK.
336
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:10,927
I THINK YOU PSYCHOLOGISTS
337
00:17:10,995 --> 00:17:13,797
ARE ALL A BUNCH
OF PHONY, 2 FACED,
HYPOCRITICAL EGGHEADS,
338
00:17:13,865 --> 00:17:16,366
WHO TALK PEOPLE
INTO UNNECESSARY
LIVER TRANSPLANTS,
339
00:17:16,434 --> 00:17:19,136
AND SECOND-STORY ADDITIONS
TO THEIR HOUSES, OK?
340
00:17:19,203 --> 00:17:22,339
SO DON'T EXPECT ME
TO TELL YOU ANYTHING.
341
00:17:22,406 --> 00:17:26,577
BECAUSE YOU,
MY DEAR MISS FRANKENSTEIN,
ARE THE ENEMY.
342
00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:33,016
MR. PETERSON, YOU HAVE
THE RIGHT TO ANY OPINION
YOU LIKE REGARDING US.
343
00:17:33,084 --> 00:17:38,522
AND, PLEASE UNDERSTAND, YOU'RE
UNDER NO PRESSURE AT ALL
TO SAY ANYTHING TO ME.
344
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:42,125
ONCE WHEN I WAS 7 YEARS OLD,
WE WERE CLEANING OUT
THE GARAGE
345
00:17:42,193 --> 00:17:44,127
AND I DIDN'T HAVE
ANY WORK CLOTHES.
346
00:17:44,195 --> 00:17:47,964
AND SO, MY MOMMY
MADE ME WEAR
ONE OF HER OLD APRONS.
347
00:17:48,032 --> 00:17:51,535
[sobbing]
AND IT MADE ME FEEL
LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.
348
00:17:51,603 --> 00:17:53,537
CHRIS, CHRIS.
349
00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:56,540
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD
TALK ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFF
IN YOUR OWN TIME?
350
00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:59,510
WE'RE HERE TO TALK
ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP.
351
00:17:59,577 --> 00:18:02,513
[sniffing] OH, SURE, I'M SORRY.
352
00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:04,581
FIRST OF ALL,
I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW
353
00:18:04,649 --> 00:18:09,487
THAT IT USUALLY TAKES YEARS
TO DIAGNOSE ALL THE FACTORS
IN A COUPLE'S RELATIONSHIP,
354
00:18:09,554 --> 00:18:14,257
AND EVEN THEN,
REACHING A PROPER CONCLUSION
IS STILL VERY DIFFICULT.
355
00:18:14,326 --> 00:18:16,192
[sighing] BUT IN THIS CASE,
356
00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:19,696
I THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY
THAT, UH, YOU 2
SHOULD BREAK UP.
357
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,598
BREAK UP?
358
00:18:21,666 --> 00:18:24,335
OH, IMMEDIATELY.
GET A DIVORCE.
359
00:18:24,402 --> 00:18:28,739
B-BUT WHY? WE HAVE
SO MUCH IN COMMON.
WE SEEM TO BE SO COMPATIBLE.
360
00:18:28,806 --> 00:18:30,307
(Dr. Rand)
I AGREE.
361
00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:33,344
BUT THERE'S A MUCH LARGER,
MUCH MORE IMPORTANT
ISSUE HERE.
362
00:18:33,411 --> 00:18:37,915
YOU SEE, YOU ARE SIMPLY
MUCH TOO BEAUTIFUL FOR HIM.
363
00:18:37,982 --> 00:18:42,720
BUT SUPPOSE WE DECIDED
WE WANT TO GIVE IT
ONE MORE CHANCE?
364
00:18:42,787 --> 00:18:44,555
WELL, THEN, I WOULD DO
WHAT ANY TRAINED
365
00:18:44,622 --> 00:18:47,391
MARRIAGE COUNSELING
PROFESSIONAL WOULD DO.
366
00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:50,694
I WOULD HAVE YOU BOTH
DECLARED MENTALLY INCOMPETENT,
367
00:18:50,761 --> 00:18:52,829
BIND YOU IN STRAIGHT JACKETS,
368
00:18:52,897 --> 00:18:56,337
AND HAVE YOU THROWN INTO
SOME GOD-FORSAKEN SNAKE PIT
OF A MENTAL INSTITUTION
369
00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:59,469
FOR THE REST
OF YOUR MISERABLE LIVES.
370
00:18:59,537 --> 00:19:02,406
NOW, I KNOW THAT
WHAT I'M SAYING
MAY SOUND HARSH,
371
00:19:02,473 --> 00:19:05,576
BUT IT'S THE LAW.
372
00:19:05,643 --> 00:19:09,512
AND I ALSO KNOW THAT
IN YOUR HEARTS,
YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT.
373
00:19:09,580 --> 00:19:10,914
[sighing]
374
00:19:13,651 --> 00:19:16,052
SHE IS RIGHT,
YOU KNOW, CHRIS.
375
00:19:17,689 --> 00:19:19,590
I AM TOO BEAUTIFUL FOR YOU.
376
00:19:21,626 --> 00:19:23,727
[sighing] I KNOW.
377
00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:27,063
I GUESS IT... IT JUST TOOK
THE OBJECTIVE VOICE
OF AN OUTSIDER
378
00:19:27,131 --> 00:19:29,700
TO GET US TO ADMIT IT
TO OURSELVES.
379
00:19:31,202 --> 00:19:33,003
I'M SORRY, NICOLETTE.
380
00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:36,373
I'M SORRY, TOO, CHRIS.
381
00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:37,741
[sobbing]
382
00:19:39,744 --> 00:19:40,825
[sighs]
383
00:19:40,845 --> 00:19:42,879
THANK YOU, DR. RAND.
384
00:19:43,581 --> 00:19:45,081
[sighs]
385
00:19:45,149 --> 00:19:46,583
[sighs]
386
00:19:46,651 --> 00:19:49,286
WHAT'S THE NORMAL TIP
FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
387
00:19:50,187 --> 00:19:51,888
I'M IN SHOCK.
388
00:19:51,956 --> 00:19:55,559
I WAS CERTAIN
THAT THIS WAS ONE
THAT WOULD LAST.
389
00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:57,494
YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?
390
00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:03,500
[sighing]
OK, THEN, HOLD OUT YOUR HANDS.
391
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:06,336
[sighing]
392
00:20:10,741 --> 00:20:13,543
THIS IS IT?
I MEAN, DON'T WE
HAVE TO SIGN SOMETHING?
393
00:20:13,611 --> 00:20:16,411
[snickering]
WHAT ARE YOU
SOME KIND OF IDIOT?
394
00:20:23,154 --> 00:20:24,387
[sighs]
395
00:20:27,225 --> 00:20:29,093
NICOLETTE,
396
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,494
IT WASN'T ALL BAD, WAS IT?
397
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,797
OH, NO, CHRIS.
398
00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:35,706
THE FIRST COUPLE OF HOURS
WERE GREAT.
399
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:37,034
[chuckles]
400
00:20:37,101 --> 00:20:39,221
I'M GONNA MISS YOU,
NICOLETTE.
401
00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:41,371
I'M GONNA MISS YOU,
TOO, CHRIS.
402
00:20:43,908 --> 00:20:45,542
[static sparking]
403
00:20:57,088 --> 00:20:58,922
BYE, CHRIS.
404
00:21:02,727 --> 00:21:04,260
[sighs]
405
00:21:04,328 --> 00:21:06,062
OK.
406
00:21:06,130 --> 00:21:08,665
WELL, YOUR FIRST WIFE
HAS JUST LEFT YOU.
407
00:21:08,733 --> 00:21:12,068
SHE'S GONE.
AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE.
408
00:21:12,136 --> 00:21:14,871
BUT YOU CAN TAKE IT.
409
00:21:14,939 --> 00:21:17,874
YOU'RE QUITE A MAN,
CHRIS PETERSON.
410
00:21:17,942 --> 00:21:19,576
[chuckles]
411
00:21:19,644 --> 00:21:20,877
[sobbing]
412
00:21:30,488 --> 00:21:33,129
(Chris)I RAN INTO NICOLETTEA LITTLE LATER THAT DAY.
413
00:21:33,191 --> 00:21:35,125
BY THEN WE WERE BOTH SEEINGOTHER PEOPLE
414
00:21:35,192 --> 00:21:37,661
AND THE WOUNDS HADHAD TIME TO HEAL.
415
00:21:44,536 --> 00:21:47,638
I REALIZED THAT NICOLETTEWAS A WONDERFUL PERSON
416
00:21:47,706 --> 00:21:51,107
AND I WAS GLAD WE HAD SPENTALMOST AN ENTIRE DAYOF OUR LIVES TOGETHER.
417
00:21:52,043 --> 00:21:53,477
[inaudible]
418
00:22:06,824 --> 00:22:10,894
WE TALKED ABOUT OLD TIMESFOR A WHILE, AND THEN,WE KISSED AFFECTIONATELY,
419
00:22:10,962 --> 00:22:12,563
AND SHE WAS GONE.
420
00:22:16,534 --> 00:22:21,872
AND AT THAT PRECISE MOMENT,SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL,ALMOST MAGICAL, HAPPENED.
421
00:22:21,939 --> 00:22:24,274
ONE OF THOSE GIANT BOULDERSFELL ON ME.32073
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.