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1
00:00:06,238 --> 00:00:07,739
HEY, LOOK, LARRY.
2
00:00:07,806 --> 00:00:09,908
LOOK AT THIS,
IT'S AN INDIAN HEAD QUARTER.
3
00:00:09,975 --> 00:00:11,743
THAT'S GOT TO BE
WORTH A FORTUNE.
4
00:00:11,810 --> 00:00:13,778
CHRIS, THERE'S NO
INDIAN HEAD QUARTERS.
5
00:00:13,846 --> 00:00:15,580
THAT'S GEORGE WASHINGTON.
6
00:00:15,648 --> 00:00:19,017
OK, MR. NEUMISMATIC,
THEN EXPLAIN THE HEADDRESS?
7
00:00:19,084 --> 00:00:20,244
IT'S A PONYTAIL.
8
00:00:20,953 --> 00:00:22,187
OH, WOW.
9
00:00:22,254 --> 00:00:23,534
WELL, THIS HAS TO BE
RARE THEN.
10
00:00:23,589 --> 00:00:25,890
GEORGE WASHINGTON
DRESSED UP AS A WOMAN.
11
00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:28,326
WHAT ELSE IS IN HERE?
12
00:00:28,394 --> 00:00:29,694
LOOK AT THIS, LARRY.
13
00:00:29,761 --> 00:00:30,962
[chuckles]
14
00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:33,031
IT'S AN OLD PLAYBOY MAGAZINE.
15
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:34,265
YOU KNOW WHAT, BUDDY?
16
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:36,101
THIS IS A LITTLE GIFT
FROM ME TO YOU
17
00:00:36,168 --> 00:00:37,502
BECAUSE YOU'RE MARRIED
TO SHARON
18
00:00:37,569 --> 00:00:39,504
AND PROBABLY NEED IT
A LITTLE MORE THAN I DO.
19
00:00:39,571 --> 00:00:41,706
AHA. I KNEW IT. HERE IT IS.
20
00:00:41,773 --> 00:00:42,894
THE BEATLES DID DO HEY JUDE.
21
00:00:42,941 --> 00:00:45,177
[chuckles] PAY UP.
22
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,779
JEEZ, I COULD HAVE SWORN
IT WAS PETER & GORDON.
23
00:00:47,846 --> 00:00:49,647
WHAT'S THIS?
24
00:00:50,516 --> 00:00:51,916
LOOK, LARRY,
25
00:00:51,984 --> 00:00:54,586
IT'S A PICTURE OF ME AS A BABY
WITH A COUPLE OF PILGRIMS.
26
00:00:54,653 --> 00:00:57,422
CHRIS, THEY'RE NOT PILGRIMS,
THEY'RE AMISH.
27
00:00:57,489 --> 00:00:58,623
AMISH?
28
00:00:58,690 --> 00:01:01,126
WELL, I... I DON'T EVER REMEMBER
MEETING ANY AMISH PEOPLE
29
00:01:01,193 --> 00:01:02,693
WHEN I WAS 1.
30
00:01:02,761 --> 00:01:04,062
WHAT ELSE IS IN HERE?
31
00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:06,965
JUST A COUPLE OF PICTURES
AND THIS, A RECEIPT.
32
00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:08,466
LET ME SEE THIS.
33
00:01:09,134 --> 00:01:10,535
"ONE BABY...
34
00:01:11,870 --> 00:01:13,572
"BOY EMMETT.
35
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,976
10, 0, 0, 0."
36
00:01:19,345 --> 00:01:21,813
LARRY, LARRY, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS?
37
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,449
NO, BUT I HAVE A FEELING
YOU HAVE SOME STUPID THEORY.
38
00:01:24,516 --> 00:01:26,617
LARRY, ALL THE PIECES
OF THE PUZZLE ARE THERE.
39
00:01:26,685 --> 00:01:27,952
PUT 'EM TOGETHER.
40
00:01:28,019 --> 00:01:30,019
AND IT'S NOT ONE OF THOSE
DIFFICULT PUZZLES EITHER,
41
00:01:30,055 --> 00:01:31,695
LIKE... LIKE, THE KITTEN
WITH THE MARBLES.
42
00:01:31,724 --> 00:01:33,291
WHAT ARE YOU SAYIN'?
43
00:01:33,358 --> 00:01:35,993
I'M SAYIN' THAT THE PETERSONS
BOUGHT ME FROM AN AMISH COUPLE
44
00:01:36,061 --> 00:01:38,930
FOR $10,000
ON THE BLACK MARKET.
45
00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,164
THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT.
46
00:01:40,232 --> 00:01:41,633
LARRY, IT ALL MAKES SENSE.
47
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,201
THAT'S WHY I DON'T HAVE
ANY BROTHERS
48
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,536
OR... OR ANY SISTERS.
49
00:01:44,603 --> 00:01:46,723
THEY WERE TOO CHEAP
TO BUY ANY MORE.
50
00:01:47,673 --> 00:01:50,441
LARRY, LOOK. LOOK AT DADDY.
I'M HIS SPITTING IMAGE.
51
00:01:50,509 --> 00:01:52,309
CHRIS, YOU LOOK
NOTHING LIKE THIS GUY.
52
00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:54,579
WELL, COME ON, YOU MAKE
HIS BEARD A LITTLE BLONDER,
53
00:01:54,647 --> 00:01:56,447
YOU TAKE AWAY THE BLACK
UNSTYLISH CLOTHING,
54
00:01:56,515 --> 00:01:58,583
GIVE HIM SOME
SNAPPY SPORTSWEAR
FROM BANANA REPUBLIC
55
00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:00,652
AND YOU GOT ME.
CHRIS, THIS IS CRAZY.
56
00:02:00,719 --> 00:02:02,387
I'M NOT CHRIS.
57
00:02:02,454 --> 00:02:03,855
I'M EMMETT.
58
00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:06,191
A HEALTHY WHITE AMISH BABY
59
00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:08,759
SOLD TO A COUPLE OF
TWO-BIT CARPETBAGGERS.
60
00:02:09,695 --> 00:02:12,964
LARRY, I'M ADOPTED.
HOLD ME.
61
00:02:16,969 --> 00:02:19,104
�[Stand by R.E.M. playing]
62
00:02:23,909 --> 00:02:25,576
[bicycle bell ringing]
63
00:02:25,644 --> 00:02:28,713
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
64
00:02:28,780 --> 00:02:30,148
� NOW FACE NORTH
65
00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,782
� THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
66
00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:33,984
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
67
00:02:34,052 --> 00:02:37,455
� NOW STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU WORK �
68
00:02:37,523 --> 00:02:38,957
� NOW FACE WEST
69
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:41,259
� THINK ABOUT THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
70
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,328
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
71
00:02:43,395 --> 00:02:46,164
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
72
00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:47,765
� NOW FACE NORTH
73
00:02:47,833 --> 00:02:49,167
� THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
74
00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:51,436
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
75
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:54,773
� NOW STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU WORK �
76
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,474
� NOW FACE WEST
77
00:02:56,642 --> 00:02:58,609
� THINK ABOUT THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
78
00:02:58,677 --> 00:03:00,711
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
79
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:04,215
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU ARE �
80
00:03:04,282 --> 00:03:07,786
� SO STAND
81
00:03:12,124 --> 00:03:14,392
WELL, I FINALLY KNOW
THE TRUTH,
82
00:03:14,459 --> 00:03:17,428
MR. AND MRS. PETERSON.
83
00:03:17,496 --> 00:03:19,664
I KNOW I'M GONNA
REGRET THIS QUESTION, GLADYS,
84
00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:22,066
BUT, JUST WHAT DO YOU MEAN
BY THAT, CHRIS?
85
00:03:22,601 --> 00:03:24,235
WELL, FOR OPENERS,
86
00:03:24,302 --> 00:03:26,062
YOU'RE NOT MY REAL
MOTHER AND FATHER.
87
00:03:26,071 --> 00:03:27,872
OK, FOR CLOSERS THEN.
88
00:03:29,274 --> 00:03:32,042
HOW CAVALIER,
HOW LAISSEZ-FAIRE,
89
00:03:32,110 --> 00:03:34,144
HOW PLOOKIE PLOK.
90
00:03:34,212 --> 00:03:37,281
HONEY, WE'D NEVER BE
PLOOKIE PLOK WITH YOU.
91
00:03:37,349 --> 00:03:40,385
OH, MA, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
PUT UP A FRONT FOR ME
ANY LONGER.
92
00:03:40,452 --> 00:03:42,572
THOSE DAYS ARE GONE,
LONG FORGOTTEN.
93
00:03:42,621 --> 00:03:44,555
LIKE MY SIZE 4 UNDERPANTS.
94
00:03:44,623 --> 00:03:48,660
I NOW KNOW THE HIDEOUS,
UGLY, TRAGIC TRUTH.
95
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,728
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
96
00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:53,564
I FOUND OUT
97
00:03:53,632 --> 00:03:55,633
THAT I'M ADOPTED.
98
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,135
[sobbing]
99
00:03:57,202 --> 00:03:58,870
ARE YOU NUTS, BOY?
100
00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:01,372
OH, DON'T TRY TO DENY IT,
MR. PETERSON.
101
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,374
IT'S OBVIOUS
WE LOOK NOTHING ALIKE.
102
00:04:03,442 --> 00:04:04,909
OH, YOU GOTTA BE
KIDDING.
103
00:04:04,977 --> 00:04:08,146
FOR BETTER OR WORSE,
WE'RE MIRROR IMAGES.
104
00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:09,480
OH, YEAH. I BELIEVE THAT.
105
00:04:09,548 --> 00:04:11,149
AND I GUESS SCOTT THORSON
WAS BORN
106
00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:13,151
LOOKING EXACTLY LIKE LIBERACE.
107
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:15,720
LOOK, IT'S OBVIOUS
THAT YOU'VE HAD
EXTENSIVE PLASTIC SURGERY
108
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,388
TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK
MORE LIKE ME.
109
00:04:17,456 --> 00:04:19,324
GOD, DAD, THAT'S FIENDISH.
110
00:04:19,391 --> 00:04:20,758
CHRIS, HAVEN'T WE WARNED YOU
111
00:04:20,826 --> 00:04:23,894
TO ALWAYS CRACK A WINDOW
WHEN YOU USE MAGIC MARKERS?
112
00:04:23,962 --> 00:04:25,997
I DON'T KNOW WHY
I'M EVEN TALKING TO YOU.
113
00:04:26,064 --> 00:04:27,431
YOU'RE MY LANDLORD.
114
00:04:27,499 --> 00:04:29,801
OUR CONVERSATIONS SHOULD BE
LIMITED TO STUFF LIKE,
115
00:04:29,868 --> 00:04:31,268
"HERE IS MY RENT CHECK, SIR.
116
00:04:31,336 --> 00:04:32,804
"MY SINK IS STILL BROKEN.
117
00:04:32,871 --> 00:04:34,972
GOOD MORROW TO YOU."
118
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:38,576
CHRIS, DON'T BE AN ASS,
WE'RE YOUR PARENTS.
119
00:04:38,644 --> 00:04:40,945
LYING IS ONLY GONNA
MAKE IT WORSE, MA.
120
00:04:41,013 --> 00:04:42,346
BUT THEN AGAIN, I GUESS,
121
00:04:42,414 --> 00:04:44,348
MY WHOLE LIFE
HAS BEEN A LIE, HASN'T IT?
122
00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:46,618
ALL THAT MATTERS NOW
IS THAT YOU ADMIT IT.
123
00:04:46,685 --> 00:04:50,054
COME ON, DAD.
BE A MAN. ADMIT IT.
124
00:04:50,122 --> 00:04:52,957
DEAR,
THERE'S NOTHING TO ADMIT.
125
00:04:53,025 --> 00:04:55,426
TO... TO EMMETT? EMMETT.
126
00:04:55,494 --> 00:04:57,362
YOU... YOU JUST
CALLED ME EMMETT.
127
00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,164
NO YOU DID.
I HEARD YOU. I HEAD EMMETT.
128
00:04:59,231 --> 00:05:01,032
CLEAR AS A BELL.
YOU CALLED ME EMMETT.
129
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:02,366
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,
130
00:05:02,434 --> 00:05:04,202
YOU FINALLY
LET YOUR GUARD DOWN.
131
00:05:04,269 --> 00:05:05,870
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
132
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:08,840
OH, I'M SUDDENLY
SO DISORIENTED.
133
00:05:08,907 --> 00:05:11,810
EVERYTHING SEEMS ALIEN TO ME.
134
00:05:11,877 --> 00:05:12,910
[sighs]
135
00:05:12,978 --> 00:05:14,112
YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE GOOFY
136
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:15,646
BECAUSE YOU HAVE
AN EMPTY STOMACH.
137
00:05:15,714 --> 00:05:17,481
WHY DON'T I FIX YOU
A SANDWICH?
138
00:05:17,549 --> 00:05:18,683
I'M SORRY, MA'AM.
139
00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:21,652
I'M NOT ALLOWED
TO TAKE LUNCH FROM STRANGERS.
140
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:24,555
I THINK I KNOW
WHAT HAS TO BE DONE NOW.
141
00:05:24,623 --> 00:05:28,626
THANKS FOR 30 YEARS
OF SHELTER, CLOTHING,
142
00:05:28,693 --> 00:05:30,528
AND 3 SQUARE MEALS A DAY OF
143
00:05:30,896 --> 00:05:32,029
LIES!
144
00:05:32,097 --> 00:05:33,197
[sobbing]
145
00:05:34,266 --> 00:05:35,566
GLADYS, UNLESS YOU THINK
146
00:05:35,634 --> 00:05:37,301
I SHOULD BE CONCERNED
ABOUT THIS,
147
00:05:37,369 --> 00:05:38,837
I THINK I'LL GO TAKE A NAP.
148
00:05:38,904 --> 00:05:41,205
PLEASANT DREAMS, DEAR.
149
00:05:41,273 --> 00:05:43,775
WHY DON'T YOU JUST USE
A SUITCASE, CHRIS?
150
00:05:43,842 --> 00:05:46,411
FOR THE LAST TIME,
I'M NOT CHRIS, I'M EMMETT.
151
00:05:46,479 --> 00:05:48,012
AND I HAVE TO TRAVEL
ALL THE WAY TO
152
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,681
PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH COUNTRY
153
00:05:49,748 --> 00:05:52,350
TO BE REUNITED WITH
MY NATURAL AMISH PARENTS.
154
00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:53,651
BUT UNTIL THAT TIME,
155
00:05:53,719 --> 00:05:55,319
I MUST CARRY
ALL MY BELONGINGS
156
00:05:55,387 --> 00:05:58,022
IN A SIMPLE HANDKERCHIEF
TIED TO A STICK,
157
00:05:58,090 --> 00:06:00,959
FOR AT THIS POINT I AM NOTHING
BUT A LOWLY BASTARD HOBO.
158
00:06:02,227 --> 00:06:04,229
COMPRENDE?
159
00:06:04,296 --> 00:06:05,496
IT'S IRONIC THAT YOUR SPANISH
160
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:06,798
WAS THE MOST
DECIPHERABLE THING
161
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,166
IN THAT WHOLE SPEECH.
162
00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:10,068
CHRIS, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
GOING THROUGH WITH THIS.
163
00:06:10,135 --> 00:06:11,535
LARRY, I HAVE NO CHOICE.
164
00:06:11,603 --> 00:06:14,372
I CAN'T REST UNTIL I AM
REUNITED WITH MY TRUE PARENTS
165
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,873
IN MY ANCESTRAL HOMELAND.
166
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:17,542
THE PETERSON'S ARE
YOUR TRUE PARENTS.
167
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,877
I'M 99.9% SURE OF THAT.
168
00:06:19,945 --> 00:06:21,646
YEAH, BUT IT'S THAT
POINT TWO-THIRDS
169
00:06:21,713 --> 00:06:23,381
THAT'S SENDING ME
BACK TO THE BOONIES.
170
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:25,116
THIS IS A CRAZY THOUGHT.
171
00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:27,251
FORGIVE MY WILD IMAGINATION,
BUT HAS IT EVER
OCCURRED TO YOU
172
00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:28,852
THAT PERHAPS YOU'RE WRONG?
173
00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:31,089
WELL, YEAH, ACTUALLY THAT
DID OCCUR TO ME,
174
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,357
BUT WHEN I CONFRONTED FRED
AND... AND WHAT'S HER NAME,
175
00:06:33,425 --> 00:06:34,892
THEY JUST DENIED IT.
176
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,594
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT
GUILTY PEOPLE DO
177
00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:39,063
WHEN THEY SWEEP ADOPTED DIRT
UNDERNEATH THE RUG.
178
00:06:39,130 --> 00:06:41,466
BUT, YOU KNOW,
I DON'T KNOW WHY
I'M TELLING YOU THIS
179
00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:43,734
BECAUSE TECHNICALLY
YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY FRIEND.
180
00:06:43,802 --> 00:06:46,003
YOU'RE ACTUALLY
CHRIS PETERSON'S FRIEND.
181
00:06:46,071 --> 00:06:47,638
JEEZ, I WONDER
HOW MANY OTHER FRIENDS
182
00:06:47,706 --> 00:06:49,440
THEY HAVE ON THE PAYROLL.
183
00:06:49,508 --> 00:06:50,607
THAT'S AN INSULT.
184
00:06:50,675 --> 00:06:53,344
I WOULDN'T BE YOUR FRIEND
FOR ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY.
185
00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:55,113
WELL, THAT WASN'T
EXACTLY PHRASED RIGHT
186
00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:56,647
BUT YOU GET THE POINT.
187
00:06:56,715 --> 00:06:59,149
WELL, WHATEVER, I'M OFF TO
THE PENNSYLVANIA
DUTCH COUNTRY.
188
00:06:59,217 --> 00:07:01,251
AND, PLEASE,
DON'T TRY TO STOP ME.
189
00:07:01,319 --> 00:07:04,155
AND WHATEVER YOU DO,
DO NOT TELL FRED AND GLADYS
190
00:07:04,223 --> 00:07:05,923
BECAUSE IT WOULD DESTROY THEM.
191
00:07:05,991 --> 00:07:07,391
THEY'VE GROWN FOND
OF THIS CHARADE
192
00:07:07,426 --> 00:07:08,859
CALLED CHRIS PETERSON.
193
00:07:08,927 --> 00:07:10,895
WELL, DON'T YOU THINK THEY'LL
NOTICE THAT YOU'RE MISSING?
194
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:12,430
NOT FOR THE FIRST
COUPLE OF WEEKS.
195
00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:14,232
BESIDES, THEY'D JUST TRY
TO TRACK ME DOWN
196
00:07:14,299 --> 00:07:15,333
AND BUY ME BACK.
197
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,102
EVERYTHING IS MONEY
WITH THOSE PEOPLE.
198
00:07:18,170 --> 00:07:20,237
SO PROMISE, OK?
199
00:07:20,305 --> 00:07:22,206
OK, I PROMISE.
200
00:07:22,274 --> 00:07:24,142
[chuckles] OH.
201
00:07:24,209 --> 00:07:25,443
ATTABOY.
202
00:07:26,211 --> 00:07:27,779
LOOK, IF YOU'RE EVER NEAR
203
00:07:27,846 --> 00:07:30,281
THE, UH, PENNSYLVANIA
DUTCH COUNTRY,
WHY DON'T YOU LOOK ME UP.
204
00:07:30,348 --> 00:07:31,449
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE
205
00:07:31,516 --> 00:07:33,250
THE PENNSYLVANIA
DUTCH COUNTRY IS?
206
00:07:33,318 --> 00:07:35,753
WELL, NOT EXACTLY,
I... I HAVE A FEELING
207
00:07:35,821 --> 00:07:37,889
IT'S SOMEWHERE NEAR
THE TROUBLED GAZA STRIP.
208
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,257
I'LL FIND IT.
209
00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:12,884
MAMA. EMMETT'S HOME.
210
00:09:19,858 --> 00:09:21,392
HMM, I WONDER
WHAT'S KEEPING CHRIS?
211
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,026
I PUT HIS BREAKFAST DOWN
THIS MORNING
212
00:09:23,094 --> 00:09:24,428
AND IT'S GETTING COLD.
213
00:09:24,496 --> 00:09:26,764
OH, HE'S PROBABLY OFF WATCHING
A MINISERIES SOMEPLACE.
214
00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:28,132
HELLO?
215
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,268
MR. AND MRS. PETERSON? HI.
216
00:09:30,335 --> 00:09:32,002
I'M NOT INTERRUPTING
ANYTHING, AM I?
217
00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:34,038
WELL, YEAH, LARRY.
UH, GLADYS AND I WERE
218
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:35,539
JUST SITTING HERE
TRYING TO FIGURE
219
00:09:35,607 --> 00:09:38,275
HOW TO GET THE BUGS
OUT OF THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE.
220
00:09:38,343 --> 00:09:40,778
MR. PETERSON,
YOU ALWAYS CRACK ME UP.
221
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:42,113
IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU, LARRY.
222
00:09:42,180 --> 00:09:43,180
WHAT'S NEW?
223
00:09:43,248 --> 00:09:44,648
IS YOUR OLD MAN
STILL RUNNING AROUND
224
00:09:44,683 --> 00:09:46,417
WITH THAT REDHEAD?
FRED.
225
00:09:46,484 --> 00:09:48,085
MR. AND MRS. PETERSON,
DO YOU KNOW HOW IT IS
226
00:09:48,153 --> 00:09:50,320
WHEN YOU HAVE
A TERRIBLE SECRET
GNAWING AT YOU?
227
00:09:50,388 --> 00:09:51,355
NO.
228
00:09:51,422 --> 00:09:52,890
AND YOU'VE GOT TO
TELL SOMEBODY?
229
00:09:52,957 --> 00:09:54,925
OH, FRED AND I HAVE
LOTS OF HORRIBLE SECRETS
230
00:09:54,993 --> 00:09:56,153
WE KEEP FROM EACH OTHER.
231
00:09:56,194 --> 00:09:57,695
THAT'S RIGHT.
I DON'T MIND A BIT.
232
00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:00,164
I GOT FEW THAT WOULD
KNOCK HER SOCKS OFF.
233
00:10:00,232 --> 00:10:02,533
GOD, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
I'M WRACKED WITH GUILT.
234
00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:06,671
LARRY, DID CHRIS EVER MENTION
OUR SHORT ATTENTION SPAN?
235
00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:08,806
IT'S JUST THAT HE MADE ME
PROMISE NOT TO TELL YOU.
236
00:10:08,873 --> 00:10:10,107
NOT TO TELL US WHAT?
237
00:10:10,175 --> 00:10:11,508
YEAH, OUT WITH IT, BOY.
COME ON.
238
00:10:11,576 --> 00:10:13,210
OK, OK, YOU'VE BROKEN ME.
239
00:10:14,212 --> 00:10:16,446
HE'S RUN AWAY FROM HOME.
240
00:10:16,514 --> 00:10:18,448
CAN YOU DO THAT
WHEN YOU'RE 30?
241
00:10:18,516 --> 00:10:20,284
CAN YOU HAVE PAPER ROUTE
WHEN YOU'RE 30?
242
00:10:20,351 --> 00:10:23,287
HEY, DON'T MAKE ME
GET UP FROM THIS TABLE.
243
00:10:23,354 --> 00:10:25,689
WHY WOULD CHRIS
RUN AWAY FROM HOME?
244
00:10:25,757 --> 00:10:28,259
TO FIND HIS REAL PARENTS.
HE THINKS HE'S BEEN ADOPTED.
245
00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:30,027
I THOUGHT WE'D
CLEARED THAT UP.
246
00:10:30,095 --> 00:10:32,535
YES, THAT'S NOT ONE OF
OUR HORRIBLE SECRETS.
247
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:34,966
WHAT ABOUT THE PICTURE
OF HIM WITH THE AMISH COUPLE?
248
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,367
WHAT THE HELL'S
HE TALKING ABOUT?
249
00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:38,102
YOU KNOW, THE PICTURE
OF CHRIS AS A BABY
250
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:40,972
BEING HELD BY AN AMISH COUPLE?
HE FOUND IT IN THE ATTIC.
251
00:10:41,039 --> 00:10:42,439
SO WHAT?
252
00:10:42,507 --> 00:10:44,341
WE'VE ALSO GOT A PICTURE
OF HIM WITH SANTA CLAUS.
253
00:10:44,409 --> 00:10:46,176
THAT MUST BE
FROM OUR VACATION
254
00:10:46,244 --> 00:10:48,378
IN THE PENNSYLVANIA
DUTCH COUNTRY.
255
00:10:48,446 --> 00:10:49,913
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
WE WENT THERE
256
00:10:49,981 --> 00:10:52,883
WHEN THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT
CLOSED DOWN REPTILE LAND.
257
00:10:52,951 --> 00:10:54,951
AND WE TOOK A PICTURE OF HIM
WITH AN AMISH COUPLE
258
00:10:54,953 --> 00:10:56,120
EVEN THOUGH IT WAS AGAINST
259
00:10:56,187 --> 00:10:58,188
EVERY FIBER OF THEIR
RELIGIOUS BELIEFS.
260
00:10:58,256 --> 00:11:00,958
YEAH, THEY PROBABLY GOT
THROWN IN THE HOLE FOR IT.
261
00:11:01,026 --> 00:11:01,925
NOW I GET IT.
262
00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:03,494
YOU GUYS TOOK A VACATION
263
00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:04,895
TO PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH COUNTRY
264
00:11:04,963 --> 00:11:06,564
WHEN CHRIS WAS A BABY
265
00:11:06,631 --> 00:11:08,332
AND TOOK
A SOUVENIR PICTURE OF HIM
WITH AN AMISH COUPLE.
266
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,300
NICE WORK.
267
00:11:09,368 --> 00:11:11,135
MAKE SOME MANTLE SPACE
FOR THAT NOBEL.
268
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:13,337
OH, NO.
269
00:11:13,404 --> 00:11:15,305
NOW CHRIS HAS GONE OFF
TO FIND SOME STRANGERS,
270
00:11:15,373 --> 00:11:16,773
AND WE'RE NEVER GONNA
SEE HIM AGAIN.
271
00:11:16,808 --> 00:11:18,142
I WOULDN'T HOLD MY BREATH.
272
00:11:18,209 --> 00:11:19,877
BUT MR. PETERSON,
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND,
273
00:11:19,945 --> 00:11:21,812
YOU'VE GOT TO GO FIND HIM
AND BRING HIM BACK.
274
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,082
LOOK, BOY,
THE ONLY THING I'VE GOT TO DO
275
00:11:24,149 --> 00:11:25,349
IS DIE AND PAY TAXES.
276
00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:28,319
OH, FRED, SPARE US
THE TIRED OLD CLICHES.
277
00:11:28,387 --> 00:11:29,587
PUT ON YOUR STREET SHOES.
278
00:11:29,621 --> 00:11:32,356
WE'RE GONNA GET
OUR CHRIS BACK.
279
00:11:32,423 --> 00:11:33,524
[birds chirping]
280
00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:40,364
UH, MAMA, WE'VE, UH,
BEEN STANDING OUT HERE
281
00:11:40,432 --> 00:11:42,400
STARING AT EACH OTHER
FOR 10 MINUTES.
282
00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:43,834
AREN'T YOU GONNA
INVITE ME IN?
283
00:11:43,902 --> 00:11:45,769
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
THIS IS MY HOME NOW, TOO.
284
00:11:45,837 --> 00:11:48,439
MARTA? WHO GOES?
285
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:51,275
PAPA, IS THAT YOU?
286
00:11:52,977 --> 00:11:55,413
OH MY GOD,
OF COURSE IT'S YOU.
287
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,114
WHAT AM I SAYING.
288
00:11:57,181 --> 00:12:00,952
THE RESEMBLANCE
IN THE EYES IS UNCANNY.
289
00:12:01,019 --> 00:12:03,320
OF COURSE I HAVE A LITTLE
DIFFERENT TASTE IN CLOTHING,
290
00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:06,190
BUT, YOU KNOW,
THAT'S MY GENERATION.
291
00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:07,357
HI.
292
00:12:09,594 --> 00:12:10,727
HI.
293
00:12:12,197 --> 00:12:14,198
WHO ARE YOU?
294
00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:15,999
WELL, DON'T YOU
RECOGNIZE ME?
295
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:17,901
I'M YOUR LONG-LOST
SON EMMETT.
296
00:12:17,969 --> 00:12:19,270
AND I'VE FINALLY COME HOME.
297
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,071
WHAT DO YOU
WANT FROM US?
298
00:12:21,139 --> 00:12:22,640
I WANT WHAT WE ONCE HAD.
299
00:12:22,707 --> 00:12:24,675
[chuckles]
ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY.
300
00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:26,343
AND MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE.
301
00:12:26,411 --> 00:12:29,313
WE'RE ALL BACK TOGETHER AGAIN.
302
00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:33,617
� REUNITED
AND IT FEELS SO GOOD �
303
00:12:36,688 --> 00:12:37,855
WHAT A TOUCHING MOMENT.
304
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,223
SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY
305
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:41,058
WE ALL COME INSIDE, UH,
SHOOT THE BULL
306
00:12:41,126 --> 00:12:43,166
AND THROW BACK
SOME BREWS.
307
00:12:43,795 --> 00:12:45,830
OH, MY. WOW.
308
00:12:46,898 --> 00:12:48,565
[door closes]
309
00:12:48,633 --> 00:12:50,968
A DISTURBED CITY DWELLER.
310
00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:54,571
WE HAD BETTER HUMOR HIM
OR HE MAY ATTACK US.
311
00:12:54,639 --> 00:12:57,708
JEEZ,
EVERYTHING'S SO PLAIN
312
00:12:58,410 --> 00:12:59,343
AND UNFANCY.
313
00:12:59,410 --> 00:13:00,491
[chuckles]
314
00:13:00,545 --> 00:13:02,425
YOU KNOW, THERE'S NEW WORD,
IT'S CALLED "COLOR".
315
00:13:02,447 --> 00:13:04,815
YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT
THAT ONE IN YOUR ROLODEX.
316
00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:08,285
GEE, SO YOU GOT
10 GRAND FOR ME
317
00:13:08,353 --> 00:13:10,454
AND, UH, YOU
STILL LIVE LIKE THIS?
318
00:13:10,521 --> 00:13:13,190
WHAT DO YOU GUYS HAVE
A GAMBLING PROBLEM
OR SOMETHING?
319
00:13:13,258 --> 00:13:16,761
WE ARE SIMPLE PEOPLE.
FARMERS.
320
00:13:16,828 --> 00:13:18,348
OH, WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
THAT'S PERFECT.
321
00:13:18,363 --> 00:13:20,723
I'LL FIT IN FINE.
I'M SIMPLE, TOO.
322
00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:23,100
YOU KNOW, UH,
I HAD A HECK OF A TIME
323
00:13:23,168 --> 00:13:24,568
FINDING YOU GUYS.
324
00:13:24,635 --> 00:13:26,836
UH, THE TRAFFIC OUT THERE
WAS JUST HORRENDOUS.
325
00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:29,840
IT WAS, UH, UH,
BRIDLE TO BRIDLE.
326
00:13:30,675 --> 00:13:32,376
[laughing]
327
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:37,648
OH, MY.
328
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:39,816
HEY, WHAT ARE WE DOING
STANDING AROUND GABBING?
329
00:13:39,884 --> 00:13:42,185
STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATIONIS ON IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES.
330
00:13:42,253 --> 00:13:44,421
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU SPEAK.
331
00:13:44,489 --> 00:13:46,958
WELL, YOU KNOW,
WHERE'S YOUR
HOME ENTERTAINMENT CENTER?
332
00:13:47,025 --> 00:13:48,559
YOUR... YOUR BIG SCREEN T.V.
333
00:13:48,626 --> 00:13:50,394
SLASH STEREO
SLASH WAFFLE-MAKER
334
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:52,629
SLASH DEALIE SLASH THING.
335
00:13:52,697 --> 00:13:55,766
ALL WE HAVE IS
A FIREPLACE UNT A LOOM.
336
00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:59,069
[exhales]
WOW. PARTY. OK.
337
00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:02,073
GOSH, YOU GUYS ARE WORSE OFF
THAN I THOUGHT.
338
00:14:02,140 --> 00:14:04,609
BUT DON'T WORRY,
YOUR LUCK HAS CHANGED.
339
00:14:04,676 --> 00:14:07,678
THE PEOPLE YOU SOLD ME TO
WERE... WERE VERY GOOD TO ME
340
00:14:07,779 --> 00:14:10,580
AND I'VE RETURNED HOME
AS... AS YOUR SUGAR DADDY.
341
00:14:10,648 --> 00:14:13,217
NOW, HOLD ON
TO YOUR BONNETS.
342
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:16,219
I'M GONNA BRING YOU
INTO THE 20TH CENTURY.
343
00:14:16,287 --> 00:14:17,220
[chuckles]
344
00:14:17,288 --> 00:14:18,756
NOW WHERE WOULD THAT BE?
345
00:14:18,823 --> 00:14:19,923
HMM.
346
00:14:19,991 --> 00:14:22,425
AH, IT'S GOTTA BE
AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
347
00:14:22,493 --> 00:14:24,027
HEY, DAD,
WHERE'S THE OUTLET?
348
00:14:24,095 --> 00:14:26,596
WE HAVE NO ELECTRICITY.
349
00:14:26,664 --> 00:14:28,866
ARE YOU KIDDING?
DID THEY SHUT IT OFF?
350
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,201
JEEZ.
351
00:14:30,268 --> 00:14:32,636
YOU KNOW, YOU... YOU
REALLY GOT TO WATCH
THAT KIND OF STUFF
352
00:14:32,704 --> 00:14:36,507
'CAUSE THAT... THAT COULD END UP
ON YOUR T.R.W. THAT'S...
353
00:14:36,574 --> 00:14:38,241
THAT'S A CREDIT REPORT, MOM.
354
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:41,912
WOMEN. YOU KNOW,
WHEN IT COMES TO MONEY,
355
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:43,714
IT'S LIKE THEY ARE
ON ANOTHER PLANET.
356
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:44,982
[laughing]
357
00:14:45,984 --> 00:14:47,851
AH.
358
00:14:47,919 --> 00:14:49,587
HEY, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOU TWO?
359
00:14:49,654 --> 00:14:52,189
COME ON, THIS IS SUPPOSED
TO BE A JOYOUS OCCASION.
360
00:14:52,257 --> 00:14:54,125
YOUR SON EMMETT IS HOME.
361
00:14:54,192 --> 00:14:57,027
PUT ON YOUR HAPPY FACES.
362
00:14:57,696 --> 00:14:59,163
(Chris) THAT'S BETTER.
363
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:00,764
[clicking tongue] MOM,
364
00:15:00,832 --> 00:15:02,800
I'VE GOT A LITTLE SURPRISE
FOR YOU.
365
00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:05,870
IT'S A GAY SCARF.
366
00:15:07,572 --> 00:15:09,906
NOW DON'T FAINT.
PIERRE CARDIN.
367
00:15:11,910 --> 00:15:14,445
SEE, ALL YOU HAD TO DO
IS ACCESSORIZE A LITTLE BIT.
368
00:15:14,513 --> 00:15:16,680
WE ARE HUMBLE FOLK.
369
00:15:16,747 --> 00:15:19,316
WE SHUN THE WAYS
OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
370
00:15:19,384 --> 00:15:22,319
THAT IS THE CUSTOM
OF OUR PEOPLE.
371
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:23,553
OH.
372
00:15:23,621 --> 00:15:27,224
OH, JEEZ. WELL, I... I GUESS
IF I'M GONNA LIVE HERE,
373
00:15:27,292 --> 00:15:28,758
I... I GUESS I OUGHT TO ACCEPT
374
00:15:28,826 --> 00:15:31,195
YOUR... YOUR HUMBLE
SIMPLE WAYS.
375
00:15:31,262 --> 00:15:33,764
SURE AM GONNA MISS
MY WATER PIC.
376
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:35,472
I DON'T KNOW,
I GUESS SOMETHING TELLS ME
377
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:37,368
THAT I WON'T BE RUNNING INTO
CLAUDIA SCHIFFER
378
00:15:37,435 --> 00:15:39,269
AT THE SUPERMARKET,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
379
00:15:39,337 --> 00:15:40,470
[Chris chuckling]
380
00:16:46,604 --> 00:16:48,506
THE ENGLISHER STILL SLEEPS?
381
00:16:48,573 --> 00:16:49,873
YES.
382
00:16:49,941 --> 00:16:52,776
NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME
TO MURDER HIM.
383
00:16:52,844 --> 00:16:55,512
IF ONLY OUR RELIGION
DID NOT FORBID IT.
384
00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:56,813
IF ONLY.
385
00:16:57,615 --> 00:16:58,916
[Chris clears throat]
386
00:16:58,983 --> 00:17:00,117
GOOD MORNING.
387
00:17:00,718 --> 00:17:02,018
GOOD MORNING.
388
00:17:02,086 --> 00:17:03,887
[chuckling]
389
00:17:03,955 --> 00:17:05,489
OH, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
390
00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:08,359
I FOUND THESE CLOTHES UPSTAIRS
AND I JUST KINDA THREW 'EM ON.
391
00:17:08,426 --> 00:17:10,161
I LOOK NICE AND PLAIN,
DON'T I?
392
00:17:10,228 --> 00:17:13,030
LIKE A SEXY YOUNG AMISH LAD.
393
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:15,465
WELL, IT'S 5:30 A.M.
AND EVERYBODY'S UP.
394
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:17,487
HIPPITY-HOPPITY,
PIPPITY-POPPITY.
395
00:17:17,502 --> 00:17:19,836
WHAT DO YOU GUYS ALL HAVE
PAPER ROUTES HERE
OR SOMETHIN'?
396
00:17:19,905 --> 00:17:23,540
SIR, IF WE FED YOU
WOULD YOU LEAVE US?
397
00:17:24,342 --> 00:17:27,844
NO. NO, OF COURSE NOT.
398
00:17:27,912 --> 00:17:30,247
YOU'RE SO INSECURE. NO.
399
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:31,748
I'M HERE FOREVER.
400
00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:35,119
[knocking on door]
401
00:17:35,186 --> 00:17:36,553
I'LL GET IT, PAPA.
402
00:17:36,621 --> 00:17:38,188
OH, AHEM.
403
00:17:39,390 --> 00:17:41,058
FRED. GLADYS.
404
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:42,359
OH, NO. MORE OF THEM.
405
00:17:42,426 --> 00:17:43,894
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
406
00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:46,397
WE'VE COME
TO TAKE YOU HOME, YOU IDIOT.
407
00:17:46,531 --> 00:17:49,366
THIS IS NOW MY HOME.
408
00:17:49,434 --> 00:17:53,136
COULDN'T YOU RUN AWAY TO
A PLACE LIKE FLORIDA
OR SOMETHING?
409
00:17:53,204 --> 00:17:54,805
SAY, DO YOU HAVE A T.V.
AROUND HERE?
410
00:17:54,873 --> 00:17:57,507
BRIGITTE NIELSEN IS GONNA BE
ON THE TODAY SHOW.
411
00:17:57,509 --> 00:18:00,010
WE DO NOT HAVE
THOUST ELECTRONICS.
412
00:18:00,077 --> 00:18:02,879
WE ARE SIMPLE PEOPLE
AND WE SHUN THE WAYS
413
00:18:02,947 --> 00:18:05,649
OF YOUR PEOPLE WITH YOUR
PRE-SWEETENED CEREALS
414
00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:08,285
AND YOUR
SILENT DOG WHISTLES.
415
00:18:08,353 --> 00:18:10,721
SO BE GONE, YOU HEDONISTIC,
416
00:18:10,788 --> 00:18:13,757
BUTTON PUSHING FANCY PANTS.
417
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,692
IT'S NICE TO KNOW
HE HASN'T CHANGED.
418
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:19,462
CHRIS, I MUST ADMIT YOU LOOK
VERY SMART IN A HAT.
419
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:22,332
FOR THE LAST TIME
I AM NOT CHRIS.
420
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,501
I AM EMMETT STOLTZFOOTS,
421
00:18:24,569 --> 00:18:27,838
SON TO JEDIDIAH AND
MARTA STOLTZFOOTS.
422
00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:29,806
WE'RE THE STOLTZFOOTSES.
423
00:18:31,242 --> 00:18:33,677
GO AHEAD, TELL THEM
I'M YOUR SON, COME ON.
424
00:18:33,744 --> 00:18:35,645
BUT YOU'RE NOT OUR SON.
425
00:18:37,315 --> 00:18:39,683
SO YOU'VE BOUGHT
THEIR SILENCE, TOO, HUH?
426
00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:43,187
LIKE YOU BUY EVERYTHING ELSE
WITH YOUR FILTHY MONEY?
427
00:18:43,254 --> 00:18:44,654
WHAT MONEY?
428
00:18:44,722 --> 00:18:47,691
LIKE THE $10,000 YOU PAID
FOR ME ON THE BLACK MARKET.
429
00:18:47,759 --> 00:18:50,226
ARE YOU NUTS?
I NEVER HAD $10,000
430
00:18:50,294 --> 00:18:51,462
IN MY LIFE.
431
00:18:51,529 --> 00:18:53,929
DON'T DENY IT. I HAVE
THE RECEIPT RIGHT HERE.
432
00:18:53,931 --> 00:18:55,399
LOOK AT THIS.
433
00:18:55,466 --> 00:18:56,547
[sighs]
434
00:18:56,601 --> 00:18:58,935
"ONE BABY BOY EMMETT,
$10,000."
435
00:18:59,003 --> 00:19:00,537
WHAT?
436
00:19:00,605 --> 00:19:03,207
"ONE BABY BONNET, $10."
437
00:19:03,274 --> 00:19:05,675
THAT'S THE RECEIPT
FROM THE AMISH BABY BONNET
438
00:19:05,743 --> 00:19:07,277
WE BOUGHT FOR YOU
YEARS AGO,
439
00:19:07,345 --> 00:19:09,713
AND THIS MUST BE
THE NICE AMISH COUPLE
440
00:19:09,780 --> 00:19:11,215
WE BOUGHT IT FROM.
441
00:19:11,282 --> 00:19:13,550
WE EVEN TOOK
A PICTURE OF YOU WITH THEM.
442
00:19:13,618 --> 00:19:16,653
I TOLD YOU NO GOOD
COULD COME FROM
BEING PHOTOGRAPHED.
443
00:19:16,721 --> 00:19:20,090
[chuckles]
I'M SO EMBARRASSED.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
444
00:19:20,158 --> 00:19:22,025
THIS IS WORSE THAN
WHEN I WAS SLEEPWALKING
445
00:19:22,093 --> 00:19:23,960
THROUGH THE NEIGHBORHOOD
IN MY MOM'S ROBE.
446
00:19:24,028 --> 00:19:25,829
CAN WE GET THE HELL
OUT OF HERE NOW?
447
00:19:25,897 --> 00:19:28,765
WAIT A SECOND, DAD.
NOT SO FAST.
448
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:31,868
YOU KNOW, I-I'M
A LITTLE TORN HERE.
449
00:19:31,936 --> 00:19:35,372
I MEAN YOU TWO
HAVE... HAVE BEEN MY PARENTS
450
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:39,643
FOR THE LAST 15 HOURS
AND I CAN'T THROW THAT AWAY.
451
00:19:41,145 --> 00:19:42,713
YOU KNOW,
THERE'S A BOND THAT HAPPENS
452
00:19:42,780 --> 00:19:46,283
BETWEEN A... A MOTHER
AND A... A CHILD.
453
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,185
AND THAT BOND CAN
NEVER BE BROKEN.
454
00:19:48,252 --> 00:19:49,253
[sniffles]
455
00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:51,621
HOW I LOVE YOU SO DEARLY.
456
00:19:51,789 --> 00:19:55,892
MAYBE WE COULD WORK OUT
A 6 MONTH EXCHANGE PROGRAM?
457
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,680
(both) NO.
458
00:19:58,662 --> 00:20:01,298
WELL, THEN I GUESS
THIS IS GOODBYE.
459
00:20:01,365 --> 00:20:06,003
PAPA, I WANT YOU
TO KNOW THAT
460
00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:09,172
YOUR SIMPLE WAYS WILL
ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME,
461
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,442
BUT TO BE HONEST,
I... I NEVER HAD THE CHEEKBONES
462
00:20:11,509 --> 00:20:12,776
TO CARRY OFF THAT
463
00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:15,746
CUTE BEARD-WITHOUT-A-MUSTACHE
LOOK ANYWAYS.
464
00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:20,350
AND MAMA,
YOU KNOW, I NEVER DID TASTE
465
00:20:20,418 --> 00:20:22,919
YOUR... YOUR MEAT KRAUT
HASH SAUERBRATEN PIES,
466
00:20:22,987 --> 00:20:24,188
BUT, UH,
467
00:20:24,255 --> 00:20:25,622
YOU KNOW, I DON'T
REALLY LIKE THOSE
468
00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:27,624
HEAVY ITALIAN SAUCES
AND... AND ACTUALLY
469
00:20:27,692 --> 00:20:29,125
THEY DON'T LIKE ME, EITHER.
470
00:20:29,193 --> 00:20:31,227
[chuckles]
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
471
00:20:32,530 --> 00:20:35,131
SO I GUESS AS
E.T. USED TO SAY,
472
00:20:35,199 --> 00:20:37,601
"I'LL BE RIGHT THERE."
473
00:20:37,668 --> 00:20:38,768
CHRIS, THEY'RE AMISH.
474
00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:41,471
THEY PROBABLY HAVEN'T SEEN
A MOVIE SINCE SPARTACUS.
475
00:20:42,073 --> 00:20:43,907
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
476
00:20:43,975 --> 00:20:46,510
WELL, I'LL MISS YOU BOTH
DEARLY.
477
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,045
[sighs]
478
00:20:48,112 --> 00:20:50,447
HEY, LISTEN, DO YOU MIND
IF I KEEP THIS OUTFIT?
479
00:20:50,514 --> 00:20:52,816
MY SKIN JUST KINDA
COMES ALIVE IN BLACK.
480
00:20:52,884 --> 00:20:56,519
TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT.
JUST GET OUT.
481
00:20:56,587 --> 00:20:59,122
I... I... I MEAN THAT
IN THE MOST CHRISTIAN SENSE.
482
00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:01,625
I'M SORRY IF CHRIS HAS BEEN
A LOT OF TROUBLE TO YOU.
483
00:21:01,692 --> 00:21:03,060
YOU KNOW HOW KIDS ARE.
484
00:21:03,128 --> 00:21:04,394
DO YOU HAVE
ANY OF YOUR OWN?
485
00:21:04,462 --> 00:21:06,696
YEAH, BUT THEY'RE
ALL MARRIED AND ON THEIR OWN.
486
00:21:06,764 --> 00:21:09,199
THAT IS THE WAY
WITH OUR PEOPLE.
487
00:21:09,267 --> 00:21:12,769
WELL, NORMALLY THAT'S THE WAY
OF OUR PEOPLE, TOO, BUT...
488
00:21:12,837 --> 00:21:14,171
YEAH, BUT THEN WE'D BE
GYPPED OUT
489
00:21:14,239 --> 00:21:15,839
OF PRECIOUS MOMENTS
LIKE THESE.
490
00:21:15,906 --> 00:21:17,507
[chuckles]
491
00:21:17,575 --> 00:21:20,110
HEY, YOU KNOW,
SINCE THIS IS KIND OF...
492
00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:23,847
WELL, KIND OF A BACKWARDS
SORT OF FAMILY REUNION
OF SORTS, UM,
493
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,382
WHAT DO YOU SAY,
WE GET ONE OF THOSE
494
00:21:25,449 --> 00:21:27,117
WHERE-ARE-THEY-NOW
PICTURES, HUH?
495
00:21:27,185 --> 00:21:28,451
GREAT IDEA.
496
00:21:28,519 --> 00:21:30,853
HEY, POP, WHY DON'T YOU
DO THE HONORS?
497
00:21:30,921 --> 00:21:32,789
AH, JEEZ.
498
00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:34,291
THERE YOU GO.
NOW LET'S DO THIS
JUST LIKE THE OTHER ONE
499
00:21:34,358 --> 00:21:36,226
AND I THINK
IN THE OTHER ONE, UM,
500
00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:38,728
YOU WERE ACTUALLY
HOLDING ME PAPA TU.
501
00:21:38,796 --> 00:21:39,797
[chuckles]
502
00:21:41,966 --> 00:21:43,567
(Chris)
OH, GREAT. OK.
503
00:21:43,634 --> 00:21:45,068
NOW CAN WE PLEASE GO?
504
00:21:45,135 --> 00:21:46,236
SURE.
505
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:51,341
AH, WAIT.
HOLD ON A SECOND HERE.
506
00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:53,010
[clears throat]
507
00:21:53,077 --> 00:21:56,113
UM, DAD,
IF I'M NOT ADOPTED,
508
00:21:57,348 --> 00:21:59,082
COULD YOU PLEASE
EXPLAIN THIS TO ME?
509
00:21:59,517 --> 00:22:00,784
HEH.
510
00:22:00,851 --> 00:22:03,720
WELL, CHRIS, WE JUST TOOK
THAT PICTURE A SECOND AGO.
511
00:22:05,823 --> 00:22:07,024
[chuckles] OH, OH, YEAH.
512
00:22:07,091 --> 00:22:08,758
I'M SORRY. I FORGOT.
513
00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:11,227
I LOVE YOU GUYS.
514
00:22:12,296 --> 00:22:13,496
OH, MY.
515
00:22:13,565 --> 00:22:14,732
[sighs]
516
00:22:27,645 --> 00:22:28,878
[clanking]37406
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