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1
00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:03,234
OK, THERE YOU GO,
MRS. COWAN,
2
00:00:03,302 --> 00:00:05,536
AND IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE ALL PAID UP
FOR THE MONTH.
3
00:00:05,604 --> 00:00:07,906
CHRIS, CAN YOU COME IN
FOR A MINUTE?
4
00:00:07,973 --> 00:00:09,741
WELL, SURE, WHAT CAN
I HELP YOU WITH, MA'AM?
5
00:00:09,808 --> 00:00:13,945
SHORT OF ONE OF THOSE AMERICAN
GIGOLO COME-ON-IN-AND-CLEAN-
MY-PIPES-TYPE THINGS.
6
00:00:14,913 --> 00:00:16,347
COME ON, I'M JOKING.
7
00:00:17,516 --> 00:00:20,051
HEY, LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
8
00:00:20,119 --> 00:00:22,153
REALLY CHARMING. NICE.
9
00:00:22,221 --> 00:00:24,022
CAN I GIVE YOU
ONE LITTLE SUGGESTION?
10
00:00:24,089 --> 00:00:26,357
ONE WORD: ENDUST.
11
00:00:26,425 --> 00:00:31,128
YOUNG MAN,
I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU
DELIVER MY PAPERS
12
00:00:31,196 --> 00:00:33,765
FOR SOME, WHAT IS IT,
25 YEARS NOW?
13
00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:36,434
IT'S ACTUALLY 20 YEARS.
PLEASE, I'M NOT AN IDIOT.
14
00:00:36,502 --> 00:00:38,369
OH, NOT AT ALL.
15
00:00:38,437 --> 00:00:41,139
YOU'RE A SPECIAL, SPECIAL BOY.
16
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:44,943
OH, WELL THANK YOU, VERY MUCH.
THAT'S WHAT MY TEACHERS
ALWAYS USED TO SAY.
17
00:00:45,010 --> 00:00:48,112
I DON'T USUALLY DO THIS
'CAUSE I THINK IT KIND OF
CHEAPENS ME, BUT, UH,
18
00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,148
I'M GONNA MAKE
A LITTLE EXCEPTION HERE.
19
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:53,651
TO MRS. COWAN,
KEEP ON TRUCKIN'.
20
00:00:53,719 --> 00:00:55,653
YOUR PAL, CHRIS.
21
00:00:55,721 --> 00:00:57,254
OH!
22
00:00:57,322 --> 00:00:59,090
HERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU.
23
00:01:00,259 --> 00:01:02,160
OH. UH, WHAT'S
THIS LITTLE FIGURE?
24
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,462
THAT'S ONE OF THE
"KEEP ON TRUCKING" GUYS.
REMEMBER THEM?
25
00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:07,666
THEY WERE VERY POPULAR
IN THE EARLY 70s.
THEY KIND OF STOOD LIKE THIS.
26
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:11,403
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
REMEMBER THEM OR NOT.
27
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:13,505
I'M... I'M REALLY
NOT DOING THEM
JUSTICE THOUGH.
28
00:01:13,572 --> 00:01:16,474
THEIR BOOTS WERE MUCH LARGER,
ALMOST EXAGGERATED.
29
00:01:18,143 --> 00:01:19,411
CAN I HAVE A CHEESE SANDWICH?
30
00:01:19,479 --> 00:01:21,045
WELL, ANYWAY,
31
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:24,549
WOULD YOU HAVE ANY INTEREST
IN HOUSESITTING FOR A NIGHT?
32
00:01:24,617 --> 00:01:26,518
I HAVE SOME URGENT
FAMILY BUSINESS
33
00:01:26,585 --> 00:01:28,252
THAT WILL TAKE ME
OUT OF TOWN
34
00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:31,389
AND WITH ALL THE BURGLARIES
IN THIS AREA,
35
00:01:31,457 --> 00:01:34,359
I'D FEEL BETTER KNOWING
THAT SOMEONE RESPONSIBLE
36
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,160
WAS GOING TO BE
IN THE HOUSE.
37
00:01:36,228 --> 00:01:40,031
AND I NEED SOMEONE
TO TAKE CARE OF
MY LITTLE DOG, LOUIE.
38
00:01:40,098 --> 00:01:41,899
HE'S A CUTE ONE.
39
00:01:42,868 --> 00:01:44,302
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
40
00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:47,672
I WOULD HAVE THIS PLACE
ALL TO MYSELF?
41
00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:48,740
YES.
42
00:01:49,141 --> 00:01:50,375
HMM.
43
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,810
[laughing]
44
00:02:01,286 --> 00:02:03,221
CHRIS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
45
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,858
OH, NOTHING. I'M SORRY.
46
00:02:06,925 --> 00:02:08,960
WELL, LOOK, UH,
IF I WERE TO AGREE,
47
00:02:09,027 --> 00:02:12,263
I SUPPOSE THERE'D BE, UH,
SOME SORT OF RECOMPENSE
IN THE FORM OF, UH,
48
00:02:12,331 --> 00:02:13,465
CASH AND PRIZES.
49
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:15,467
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
50
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:18,235
UH, I'LL GIVE YOU $50
AND SOME CHOCOLATE.
51
00:02:18,303 --> 00:02:19,404
HOW'S THAT?
52
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,372
SOLD AMERICAN.
53
00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:24,476
NOW, HERE IS A LIST
THAT I NEED TO HAVE YOU
LOOK AT SO THAT...
54
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:27,645
OKAY, WAIT A SECOND.
HOLD THE PHONES.
STOP THE PRESSES.
55
00:02:27,713 --> 00:02:31,215
I KNEW IT WAS COMING
SOONER OR LATER,
ALL THE MIND-NUMBING DETAILS.
56
00:02:31,283 --> 00:02:33,643
AND DON'T WORRY, MRS. COWAN,
I'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.
57
00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:37,154
I'LL WATER THE FRUIT
AND I'LL WALK THE KITTY
AND I'LL DUST THE DOILIES,
58
00:02:37,222 --> 00:02:39,491
[in high-pitched voice]
OOH, AND I WON'T SIT
IN THAT CHAIR
59
00:02:39,558 --> 00:02:42,460
'CAUSE THAT BELONGED
TO GRANDPA TOOTIES.
60
00:02:42,528 --> 00:02:43,889
YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME.
OFF YOU GO.
61
00:02:43,963 --> 00:02:45,663
HAVE A GOOD TIME AT THE BALL.
62
00:02:45,731 --> 00:02:46,965
[chuckling] WRITE ME.
63
00:02:49,601 --> 00:02:50,835
[sighing]
64
00:02:50,903 --> 00:02:52,270
WOW.
65
00:02:52,337 --> 00:02:54,038
[doorbell ringing]
66
00:02:54,106 --> 00:02:55,473
STUPID SALESMAN.
67
00:02:55,540 --> 00:02:56,580
LOOK, I DON'T WANNA BUY...
68
00:02:56,642 --> 00:02:59,077
CHRIS, IT'S TOMORROW NIGHT,
69
00:02:59,144 --> 00:03:01,079
NOT TODAY.
70
00:03:01,146 --> 00:03:03,748
I'M SORRY.
A THOUSAND APOLOGIES, SIAM.
71
00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:05,417
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I WAS THINKING.
72
00:03:05,484 --> 00:03:08,052
I'M STUPID AS IN,
LIKE, BONKERS.
73
00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:16,628
�[Stand by R.E.M. playing]
74
00:03:16,695 --> 00:03:18,696
[bicycle bell ringing]
75
00:03:18,764 --> 00:03:21,565
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
76
00:03:21,633 --> 00:03:23,034
� NOW FACE NORTH
77
00:03:23,102 --> 00:03:24,535
� THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
78
00:03:24,603 --> 00:03:27,272
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
79
00:03:27,339 --> 00:03:30,274
� NOW STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU WORK �
80
00:03:30,342 --> 00:03:31,910
� NOW FACE WEST
81
00:03:31,977 --> 00:03:33,945
� THINK ABOUT THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
82
00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:36,014
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
83
00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:39,017
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
84
00:03:39,084 --> 00:03:40,485
� NOW FACE NORTH
85
00:03:40,552 --> 00:03:42,087
� THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
86
00:03:42,154 --> 00:03:44,422
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
87
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:47,726
� NOW STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU WORK �
88
00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:49,494
� NOW FACE WEST
89
00:03:49,561 --> 00:03:51,395
� THINK ABOUT THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
90
00:03:51,463 --> 00:03:53,465
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
91
00:03:53,532 --> 00:03:56,934
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU ARE �
92
00:03:57,003 --> 00:04:00,638
� SO STAND
93
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,107
[birds chirping]
94
00:04:03,175 --> 00:04:04,708
HELLO, STACY?
95
00:04:04,776 --> 00:04:07,145
HI, THIS IS
CHRISTOPHER PETERSON.
96
00:04:07,212 --> 00:04:08,446
UH-HUH.
97
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:09,647
SAY, DO YOU STILL
HAVE THAT THING
98
00:04:09,715 --> 00:04:12,216
FOR INCREDIBLY RICH GUYS?
99
00:04:12,284 --> 00:04:13,985
WELL, LET'S JUST SAY
THAT MR. ED McMAHON
100
00:04:14,053 --> 00:04:15,954
PAID ME A LITTLE VISIT
THIS WEEKEND
101
00:04:16,021 --> 00:04:19,423
AND THAT HUGE OLD WEIRD
VICTORIAN ON MAPLE? MINE.
102
00:04:19,491 --> 00:04:21,893
UH-HUH. SEE YOU AROUND 7:00?
103
00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:22,961
OK.
104
00:04:24,563 --> 00:04:26,030
WOW!
105
00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:29,533
THIS PLACE IS MORE SPECTACULAR
THAN THE LIBERACE MUSEUM.
106
00:04:29,601 --> 00:04:30,868
[doorbell ringing]
107
00:04:31,003 --> 00:04:32,737
[crickets chirping]
108
00:04:32,805 --> 00:04:34,706
OH, MY GOD. SHE'S HERE.
109
00:04:34,773 --> 00:04:36,941
THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS.
110
00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:40,244
THE GIRL I'VE BEEN
PSYCHOTICALLY OBSESSED WITH
SINCE THE 6TH GRADE IS HERE,
111
00:04:40,312 --> 00:04:42,647
TO SEE ME FOR MY MONEY.
112
00:04:45,217 --> 00:04:48,152
EVERYTHING'S GOT TO BE
JUST RIGHT. OK.
113
00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:51,055
THE SCENE IS SET FOR LOVE.
114
00:04:57,029 --> 00:04:59,764
HELLO STACY. POOKIEHANA.
115
00:04:59,831 --> 00:05:03,568
THAT'S HAWAIIAN FOR
"WELCOME TO MY HOME,
DARK ISLAND PRINCESS."
116
00:05:08,174 --> 00:05:10,041
SO, THIS IS YOUR HOME, HUH?
117
00:05:10,109 --> 00:05:11,109
YEP.
118
00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:13,344
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
119
00:05:13,412 --> 00:05:14,645
[sniffing]
120
00:05:14,713 --> 00:05:16,647
WELL, THAT'S ACTUALLY A, UH,
121
00:05:16,715 --> 00:05:21,385
DELIGHTFUL BLEND OF, UH,
LYSOL, UM, BOILED BEEF
AND HI-KARATE.
122
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:24,289
REALLY?
123
00:05:24,356 --> 00:05:27,291
KIND OF SMELLS LIKE
MY GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE.
124
00:05:27,359 --> 00:05:30,461
WELL, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF,
UH, TOUGH GUYS ARE INTO
THAT MACHO THING,
125
00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:34,899
BUT, UH, I'M SECURE ENOUGH
TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THAT
LITTLE OLD LADY INSIDE OF ME.
126
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:38,769
WHAT'S WITH ALL
THE... THE KNICK-KNACKS
127
00:05:38,837 --> 00:05:42,607
AND CURIO CABINETS
AND DOILIES?
128
00:05:42,674 --> 00:05:46,277
UH, WELL, UM,
THESE ARE ACTION DOILIES,
129
00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:48,479
FOR MEN.
130
00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:50,708
BILLY IDOL HAS
A WHOLE BUNCH OF THEM.
131
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:53,318
WOULD YOU LIKE A SNACK?
132
00:05:53,385 --> 00:05:56,754
UM, I'VE GOT DIET GINGER ALE,
MINT TEA, UH...
133
00:05:56,822 --> 00:05:57,922
I THINK I'LL PASS.
134
00:05:57,989 --> 00:06:00,492
OK. SO,
135
00:06:00,559 --> 00:06:03,194
KIND OF A COOL BACHELOR PAD,
HUH?
136
00:06:03,261 --> 00:06:05,430
WHAT IS THIS?
HMM.
137
00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:09,033
YOU MEAN THIS THING THAT, UH,
KIND OF LOOKS LIKE A WALKER.
138
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:12,036
YEAH, THAT'S, UH,
ACTUALLY A... A NAUTAFLEX.
139
00:06:12,104 --> 00:06:13,838
UH, IT'S KIND OF LIKE
THE PARALLEL BARS.
140
00:06:13,905 --> 00:06:16,241
I DO A LOT OF
WORKIN' OUT ON IT.
141
00:06:16,308 --> 00:06:18,276
GOTTA GIVE IT
ONE OF THESE AND GO...
142
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,345
[breathing deeply]
143
00:06:20,412 --> 00:06:21,879
[grunting]
144
00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,682
[coughing]
145
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:27,352
WHEW! IT'S REALLY GOOD
FOR YOUR, UH, TRIVOIDALS.
146
00:06:28,687 --> 00:06:31,723
OH, WOW, A PIANO.
CAN YOU PLAY?
147
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:35,627
UH, WELL, NO.
I TINKLE REALLY.
148
00:06:35,694 --> 00:06:39,597
COME ON, PLAY.
I'M A SUCKER FOR MUSICIANS.
149
00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:41,826
WELL, UH, IF YOU PUT IT
THAT WAY, SURE.
150
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:43,434
[laughs]
151
00:06:43,502 --> 00:06:46,971
KIND OF UH WORKING ON
A... A PIECE RIGHT NOW
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
152
00:06:47,038 --> 00:06:49,641
UH, BEAUTIFUL DREAMER.ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH IT?
153
00:06:49,708 --> 00:06:51,075
NO.
HMM.
154
00:06:51,142 --> 00:06:52,877
IT'S KIND OF A JAZZ ZYDECO
TYPE THING.
155
00:06:52,944 --> 00:06:54,479
I KIND OF THINK
THAT MAKES IT.
156
00:06:54,546 --> 00:06:56,246
�[playing]
157
00:06:57,182 --> 00:07:00,084
� BEAUTIFUL DREAMER
158
00:07:00,151 --> 00:07:04,055
� YOU ARE THE SUNSHINE
OF MY EYE �
159
00:07:04,122 --> 00:07:06,691
� SO DON'T GO CHANGING
160
00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:10,528
� BEAUTIFUL DREAMER
161
00:07:14,299 --> 00:07:17,035
WHY DON'T WE JUST PRETEND
THAT I NEVER SHOWED UP?
162
00:07:17,102 --> 00:07:19,504
NO, NO, WAIT.
WE'RE... WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO HAVE DINNER.
163
00:07:19,571 --> 00:07:21,872
HEY, YOU KNOW, I KNOW
A GREAT PIZZA PLACE
NOT FAR FROM HERE
164
00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:23,541
AND THEY DELIVER
OF ALL THINGS.
165
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:26,310
WHY DON'T I GIVE THEM A CALL
AND WE'LL HAVE A PIZZA PIE?
166
00:07:27,546 --> 00:07:30,248
HELLO? YES,
THIS IS CHRIS PETERSON
167
00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:33,651
CALLING FROM MY OWN HOME
AT 1403 MAPLE.
168
00:07:33,718 --> 00:07:36,487
YES, AND I'D LIKE TO ORDER
A LARGE PIZZA PIE
WITH EVERYTHING.
169
00:07:36,555 --> 00:07:40,891
EXCEPT FOR MUSHROOMS,
PEPPERONI, SAUSAGE, ONIONS
AND ALL THAT OTHER CRAP.
170
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:43,194
NO, THIS IS MY HOME.
171
00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:45,829
NO, SHE DOESN'T
LIVE HERE ANYMORE.
172
00:07:45,897 --> 00:07:49,066
NO, WE HAD AN ARGUMENT.
WE BROKE UP
AND I KICKED HER OUT.
173
00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:54,472
YOU KNOW, I BET
THIS ISN'T EVEN YOUR HOUSE.
174
00:07:54,539 --> 00:07:56,707
AND YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT RICH.
175
00:07:56,808 --> 00:07:58,376
LOOK, I GOTTA GO.
176
00:07:58,444 --> 00:07:59,844
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
177
00:07:59,911 --> 00:08:02,511
I WAS GONNA GIVE YOU
A CERAMIC KITTY
OF YOUR CHOICE,
178
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:04,649
BUT NOW, IN YOUR DREAMS.
179
00:08:04,716 --> 00:08:06,984
YOU'RE A JERK.
OK, FINE.
180
00:08:07,052 --> 00:08:11,355
THAT JUST MEANS
THERE'S MORE PIZZA FOR ME.
181
00:08:11,422 --> 00:08:15,059
WHO NEEDS HER?
I DON'T NEED HER.
I DON'T NEED ANYBODY.
182
00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:16,861
I'LL JUST WATCH SOME T.V.
183
00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:22,867
NO T.V. IS THAT LEGAL?
184
00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:25,536
WELL, I'LL JUST
ENTERTAIN MYSELF
THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY,
185
00:08:25,604 --> 00:08:28,473
THE WAY PEOPLE USED
TO ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES
BEFORE THERE WAS T.V.
186
00:08:28,540 --> 00:08:30,541
I'LL USE MY IMAGINATION.
187
00:08:33,178 --> 00:08:34,779
[in high-pitched voice]
WEE, WEE!
188
00:08:34,846 --> 00:08:35,846
[hissing]
189
00:08:35,914 --> 00:08:37,214
YOU DRANK MY MILK.
190
00:08:37,282 --> 00:08:38,949
WEE, BUT YOU ATE MY FISH. WEE!
191
00:08:39,017 --> 00:08:40,017
[hissing]
192
00:08:40,085 --> 00:08:41,385
[thudding]
193
00:08:42,988 --> 00:08:44,889
WELL, THAT'S PROBABLY
JUST ONE OF THOSE NORMAL
194
00:08:44,956 --> 00:08:46,824
HOUSE-SETTLING NOISES,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
195
00:08:46,892 --> 00:08:47,925
[hissing]
196
00:08:47,993 --> 00:08:49,059
[kissing]
197
00:08:49,127 --> 00:08:50,961
I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.
198
00:08:51,029 --> 00:08:53,430
[thudding]
199
00:08:53,498 --> 00:08:56,667
OK, THERE'S NOTHING
TO BE WORRIED ABOUT.
200
00:08:56,735 --> 00:09:00,137
YOU'RE FINE IN A BIG OLD,
COMFORTABLE, SMELLY,
201
00:09:00,205 --> 00:09:02,540
DAMP, EERIE,
WEIRD VICTORIAN HOUSE CUT OFF
202
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:04,174
FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD.
203
00:09:04,242 --> 00:09:06,411
THERE'S NOTHING
TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT.
204
00:09:06,478 --> 00:09:07,511
[thudding]
205
00:09:07,579 --> 00:09:08,979
[shrieking]
206
00:09:13,218 --> 00:09:14,952
HELLO, LARRY?
207
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:18,423
HI, UM, ARE YOU
AND YOUR LOVELY WIFE,
SHARON, BUSY TONIGHT?
208
00:09:19,157 --> 00:09:20,825
[laughing]
209
00:09:20,892 --> 00:09:23,761
ISN'T THIS FUN?
WE'RE PLAYING PARLOR GAMES.
210
00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:26,497
LARRY, MOST MARRIED COUPLES
ON SATURDAY NIGHT
211
00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:28,566
GO OUT TO DINNER
OR DANCING, A SHOW...
212
00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:32,236
OK, ENOUGH.
DA, DA, DA, DA.
IT'S MY TURN.
213
00:09:32,303 --> 00:09:34,939
OH, DOCTOR,
MUST MY KIDNEY COME OUT?
214
00:09:35,006 --> 00:09:37,141
[in deep voice]
YES, MR. PATIENT,
I'M AFRAID IT DOES.
215
00:09:37,208 --> 00:09:39,577
I PRAY YOUR NOSE
DOES NOT BUZZ.
216
00:09:42,113 --> 00:09:43,247
(Chris)
MMM-MMM.
217
00:09:43,314 --> 00:09:45,716
[laughing]
YES! I DID IT.
218
00:09:45,784 --> 00:09:47,618
I BEAT YOU TWO AGAIN.
219
00:09:47,686 --> 00:09:49,153
I'M THE BEST.
220
00:09:49,221 --> 00:09:51,022
BOY, IF I SENT IN MY SCORE,
221
00:09:51,089 --> 00:09:54,525
I BET I COULD GET INTO
ANY MEDICAL SCHOOL
IN THE COUNTRY.
222
00:09:54,592 --> 00:09:55,752
LARRY, COME ON,
ONE MORE GAME.
223
00:09:55,793 --> 00:09:58,062
LOOK, CHRIS, YOU'VE ALREADY
WON BEST OUT OF 30.
224
00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:59,763
WE'RE FATIGUED, TIRED...
225
00:09:59,831 --> 00:10:01,732
NAUSEATED.
226
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,501
COME ON, GUYS, UH,
H-HOW 'BOUT CANASTA?
227
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:06,637
OR LOOK, YOU... YOU COULD
JUST SPEND THE NIGHT HERE.
228
00:10:06,705 --> 00:10:09,173
LARRY, YOU COULD TAKE THE BED.
I-I'LL TAKE THE SOFA.
229
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,609
SHARON, YOU CAN TAKE
THE BASEMENT.
230
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:16,514
CHRIS, I THINK I'M STARTING
TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS
YOU REALLY WANT HERE.
231
00:10:16,581 --> 00:10:19,249
NO, SHARON, BELIEVE ME,
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
232
00:10:19,317 --> 00:10:22,720
ALTHOUGH, I FEEL
THAT SEXUAL TENSION
AS MUCH AS YOU DO.
233
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:26,390
NO, YOU WANT US TO STAY HERE
BECAUSE YOU'RE SCARED.
234
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,459
LITTLE CHRISSIE PETERSON'S
235
00:10:28,526 --> 00:10:30,661
SCARED TO STAY
IN A BIG OLD CREEPY
236
00:10:30,729 --> 00:10:33,730
GOTHIC GOD-ONLY-KNOWS-
WHO-DIED-HERE HOUSE.
237
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,935
DON'T BE A MORON.
I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING.
238
00:10:38,003 --> 00:10:38,936
REALLY?
239
00:10:40,171 --> 00:10:42,673
NOT EVEN WHAT'S BEHIND YOU?
240
00:10:42,741 --> 00:10:45,175
ALL RIGHT, SHARON,
THAT'S THE OLDEST TRICK
IN THE BOOK.
241
00:10:45,243 --> 00:10:46,711
[chuckles]
I'M NOT TURNING AROUND.
242
00:10:46,778 --> 00:10:48,479
(Sharon) OH, GOD!
243
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:50,748
[gasping]
I'M NOT GONNA DO IT, SHARON.
IT'S JUST A TRICK.
244
00:10:50,815 --> 00:10:52,449
I'M NOT GONNA TURN AROUND.
245
00:10:52,517 --> 00:10:54,185
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
MAKE ME TURN AROUND.
246
00:10:54,252 --> 00:10:55,286
MMM-MMM.
247
00:10:55,353 --> 00:10:57,321
LOOK, I'M NOT TURNING AROUND.
248
00:11:00,192 --> 00:11:01,993
SEE, I DIDN'T TURN AROUND.
249
00:11:03,395 --> 00:11:05,163
YOU KNOW,
THIS IS KIND OF FUN.
250
00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:07,298
MAYBE WE COULD STAY
A LITTLE LONGER.
251
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:08,799
ALL RIGHT, WAIT, GUYS.
252
00:11:08,867 --> 00:11:10,701
ALL RIGHT.
I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU.
253
00:11:10,769 --> 00:11:12,302
YES, I AM SCARED.
254
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:15,540
THE FACT IS I AM SCARED
OUT OF MY BUTT.
255
00:11:15,607 --> 00:11:17,808
THERE ARE STRANGE NOISES
IN THIS PLACE
256
00:11:17,876 --> 00:11:19,977
AND, YOU KNOW,
I'M NOT SUPERSTITIOUS AT ALL,
257
00:11:20,044 --> 00:11:22,913
BUT I THINK THERE MAY ACTUALLY
BE MONSTERS IN HERE.
258
00:11:22,981 --> 00:11:24,882
DID YOU GUYS HERE THAT?
259
00:11:24,949 --> 00:11:26,030
NO.
260
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:28,919
[thudding]
261
00:11:28,987 --> 00:11:30,188
THEN, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
262
00:11:30,255 --> 00:11:31,221
[sighing]
263
00:11:31,289 --> 00:11:33,024
GOODNIGHT, IDIOT.
264
00:11:33,958 --> 00:11:35,079
LARRY...
265
00:11:36,728 --> 00:11:38,129
[roaring]
266
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:46,938
OK, I GOTTA
PULL MYSELF TOGETHER.
267
00:11:47,005 --> 00:11:49,306
I GOTTA COLLECT
MY THOUGHTS.
268
00:11:49,374 --> 00:11:50,908
I'M A MAN.
269
00:11:52,577 --> 00:11:54,111
I'M GONNA CALL MOM.
270
00:11:56,114 --> 00:11:57,195
HELLO?
271
00:11:57,249 --> 00:11:58,916
HI, DADDY. IT'S CHRIS.
272
00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:00,584
HOW'S IT GOING?
273
00:12:00,652 --> 00:12:03,521
I JUST CALLED TO SAY HI
AND SO WE COULD DO
A LITTLE CATCHING UP.
274
00:12:03,588 --> 00:12:04,989
HOW'S YOUR HEALTH?
275
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,658
CHRIS, YOU'VE ONLY
BEEN GONE 3 HOURS.
276
00:12:07,725 --> 00:12:09,560
I KNOW, BUT I DIDN'T
WANT US TO DRIFT APART.
277
00:12:09,627 --> 00:12:11,195
HEAVEN FORBID.
278
00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:14,231
YOU KNOW, DAD,
I WAS JUST THINKING,
MAYBE I SHOULD COME HOME.
279
00:12:14,299 --> 00:12:16,819
I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
WITH ALL THE BURGLARIES
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
280
00:12:16,835 --> 00:12:18,135
YOU KNOW, I'M YOUNG
AND HEALTHY
281
00:12:18,203 --> 00:12:19,836
AND... AND I CAN
DEFEND MYSELF,
282
00:12:19,904 --> 00:12:21,472
BUT YOU AND MOM
ARE OLD AND FEEBLE.
283
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:24,508
YOU'RE THE PRIME CANDIDATES
TO BE BLUDGEONED TO DEATH.
284
00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:27,178
WE'LL TAKE THAT CHANCE.
YOU'D BETTER STAY PUT.
285
00:12:27,245 --> 00:12:29,280
YOU HAVE
A RESPONSIBILITY, SON.
286
00:12:29,347 --> 00:12:32,216
YOU PROMISED MRS. COWAN
YOU'D LOOK AFTER HER HOUSE
287
00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:34,986
AND YOU CAN'T
GO BACK ON YOUR WORD.
288
00:12:35,053 --> 00:12:36,253
ALL RIGHT, DAD, PUT MOM ON.
289
00:12:36,321 --> 00:12:38,589
YOU'RE STARTING
TO ANNOY ME NOW.
290
00:12:39,424 --> 00:12:40,958
HELLO, DEAR.
HOW'S IT GOING?
291
00:12:41,026 --> 00:12:43,294
MOM, I'M REALLY SCARED.
292
00:12:43,361 --> 00:12:44,561
AND I DIDN'T WANT
TO TELL DAD
293
00:12:44,596 --> 00:12:46,230
BECAUSE HE'D THINK
I WAS A PANSY.
294
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,699
DON'T WORRY, SON.
HE ALREADY THINKS THAT.
295
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:51,435
MOM, THIS... THIS HOUSE
IS REALLY SPOOKY.
296
00:12:51,503 --> 00:12:53,237
AND I'M STARTING TO HEAR
STRANGE NOISES.
297
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,673
WHAT KIND OF NOISES?
298
00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:57,441
WELL, OFF THE TOP
OF MY HEAD,
299
00:12:57,509 --> 00:12:59,343
UH, I DON'T KNOW,
STUFF LIKE, UH...
300
00:13:00,144 --> 00:13:02,380
[gibbering]
301
00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:08,619
STUFF LIKE THAT.
302
00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:11,021
IT'S PROBABLY
THE HOUSE SETTLING.
303
00:13:11,089 --> 00:13:13,257
YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE PUNCHY
BECAUSE YOU'RE TIRED.
304
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:14,758
WHY DON'T YOU
GO TO SLEEP?
305
00:13:14,826 --> 00:13:17,428
HEY, MA, I... I KNOW
THIS SOUNDS A LITTLE SILLY,
306
00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:18,729
BUT, UH,
307
00:13:18,796 --> 00:13:20,931
WOULD YOU MIND SINGING ME
ONE OF THOSE LULLABIES
308
00:13:20,998 --> 00:13:24,368
THAT USED TO SEND ME OFF
TO DREAMLAND?
OF COURSE, HONEY.
309
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:27,972
� WHEN THE SHARK BITES
310
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,207
� WITH HIS TEETH, DEAR
311
00:13:30,275 --> 00:13:34,312
� SCARLET RIBBONS
START TO SPREAD �
312
00:13:35,113 --> 00:13:37,081
� FANCY GLOVES THOUGH
313
00:13:37,148 --> 00:13:39,382
� WEARS MACK HEATH DEAR
314
00:13:39,450 --> 00:13:42,520
� THOUGH THERE'S NEVER
A TRACE OF RED �
315
00:13:43,688 --> 00:13:45,656
� ON THE SIDEWALK
316
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,858
� SUNDAY MORNIN'
317
00:13:47,926 --> 00:13:50,961
� LIES A BODY,
OOZIN' LIFE �
318
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:55,366
[rattling]
319
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:57,601
OK, THERE'S... THERE'S NOTHING
TO BE FRIGHTENED OF.
320
00:13:57,669 --> 00:13:59,230
IT'S JUST
THE WINDOW RATTLING.
321
00:13:59,237 --> 00:14:02,405
THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE
SUPPOSED TO DO.
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.
322
00:14:02,473 --> 00:14:04,441
THAT'S WHY
THEY'RE CALLED WINDOWS.
323
00:14:04,509 --> 00:14:05,843
[roaring]
324
00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:08,278
OK, I'M VERY CLOSE
TO CRYING NOW.
325
00:14:11,682 --> 00:14:12,883
[screams]
326
00:14:21,592 --> 00:14:25,162
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
A BLOODTHIRSTY KILLER
WITH A KNIFE,
327
00:14:25,230 --> 00:14:28,666
AND YOU'RE JUST
A LITTLE FROGGIE,
PLAIN AS DAY.
328
00:14:31,669 --> 00:14:34,004
MAYBE SOME CANDY WILL
SOOTHE MY STOMACH.
329
00:14:34,072 --> 00:14:35,439
[clears throat]
330
00:14:35,506 --> 00:14:36,573
OH, MY.
331
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:44,749
IT'S PROBABLY ONE OF THOSE
NEW FAD CANDIES,
LIKE POP ROCKS.
332
00:14:46,918 --> 00:14:50,087
[in high-pitched voice]
OK, 911,
THAT'S THE NUMBER FOR ME.
333
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:55,225
HELLO, POLICE?
YEAH, HI.
334
00:14:55,293 --> 00:14:58,696
THIS IS CHRIS PETERSON
AT 1403 MAPLE.
335
00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,831
I'M HOUSESITTING
FOR AN OLD LADY
336
00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:03,968
AND, UH, THE HOUSE IS MAKING
SOME AWFULLY STRANGE NOISES
337
00:15:04,035 --> 00:15:05,735
AND THE CANDY
JUST CAUGHT FIRE.
338
00:15:05,803 --> 00:15:07,637
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT CODE THAT WOULD BE.
339
00:15:07,705 --> 00:15:09,339
PROBABLY A 916,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
340
00:15:09,407 --> 00:15:11,741
PROBABLY A VERY HIGH NUMBER.
341
00:15:11,809 --> 00:15:15,312
LISTEN, COULD YOU SEND
A PATROLMAN OVER
TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH ME?
342
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:16,747
OH, YOU CAN'T.
343
00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:19,917
UH, WHAT DO YOU MEAN
I'M TYING UP THE LINE?
344
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:22,219
WELL, I... OH, IT'S A FELONY.
345
00:15:22,287 --> 00:15:24,354
OH, IT'S A FELONY. BEEP!
346
00:15:24,422 --> 00:15:25,755
OH, THERE GOES
MY CALL WAITING.
347
00:15:25,823 --> 00:15:27,357
OK. I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO.
348
00:15:27,425 --> 00:15:29,266
THANKS FOR CALLING.
OH, I CALLED YOU.
349
00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:30,895
[laughing]
OK. BYE-BYE.
350
00:15:32,597 --> 00:15:36,266
WAIT. THERE'S THAT
24-HOUR LINE
THAT HELPS MEN.
351
00:15:39,871 --> 00:15:43,140
(woman)HI, THANKS FOR CALLINGCANDY'S FANTASY LINE.
352
00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:44,741
WHO AM I SPEAKING TO?
353
00:15:44,809 --> 00:15:46,110
CHRIS PETERSON.
354
00:15:46,177 --> 00:15:48,045
HMM, THAT'S A SEXY NAME.
355
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:49,780
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING, CHRIS?
356
00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:53,317
UH, I'M WEARING
A SHIRT AND SLACKS
357
00:15:53,384 --> 00:15:55,920
AND SHOES AND SOCKS
AND UNDERPANTS.
358
00:15:55,987 --> 00:15:57,788
WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT?
ARE YOU DRUNK?
359
00:15:57,856 --> 00:16:00,790
WHAT ARE YOU INTO, CHRIS, HMM?
360
00:16:00,858 --> 00:16:02,826
WELL, I'M INTO TALKING
TO SOMEBODY RIGHT NOW,
361
00:16:02,894 --> 00:16:04,761
'CAUSE I'M A LITTLE SCARED
OF GHOSTS.
362
00:16:04,829 --> 00:16:07,550
LISTEN, HONEY,YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BEA LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC
363
00:16:07,565 --> 00:16:09,133
ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT,
364
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,101
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOWWHAT THE HELLYOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
365
00:16:11,169 --> 00:16:13,304
[roaring]
366
00:16:13,371 --> 00:16:16,540
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
367
00:16:18,309 --> 00:16:20,444
[Chris yelling]
368
00:16:20,511 --> 00:16:22,880
IT'S TURNED INTO
AN EVIL SERPENT.
369
00:16:22,947 --> 00:16:25,583
OK, NOW WE'REGETTIN' SOMEWHERE.
370
00:16:30,187 --> 00:16:34,491
HELLO? CANDY?
CANDY, ARE YOU THERE?
371
00:16:34,559 --> 00:16:38,562
OH, NO. OH, NO.
THEY'RE OUT THERE
SNIPPING THE LINES.
372
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:40,964
THE PHONE'S DEAD.
IT'S THAT... IT'S THAT
MANSON GROUP.
373
00:16:41,032 --> 00:16:43,300
IT'S... IT'S SQUEAKY
AND... AND TEX
374
00:16:43,368 --> 00:16:45,569
AND... AND LENNY AND SQUIGGY.
375
00:16:45,637 --> 00:16:46,637
[doorbell ringing]
376
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:49,106
[screaming]
377
00:16:49,173 --> 00:16:51,075
[doorbell continues ringing]
378
00:16:52,910 --> 00:16:55,312
WHO'S THERE?
379
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:56,513
PIZZA.
380
00:16:56,581 --> 00:16:58,915
OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
YOU CAN'T BE THE PIZZA GUY.
381
00:16:58,983 --> 00:17:01,818
I ORDERED PIZZA 5 HOURS AGO
AND IT NEVER CAME.
382
00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:03,620
SO OBVIOUSLY,
HIS TRUCK'S OVERTURNED
383
00:17:03,688 --> 00:17:04,988
IN A DRAINAGE DITCH
SOMEWHERE.
384
00:17:05,056 --> 00:17:07,024
GO AHEAD, TRY AGAIN.
385
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:09,994
IF YOU DON'T TAKE THIS PIZZA,
IT COMES OUT OF MY POCKET
AND THAT MAKES ME MAD!
386
00:17:10,061 --> 00:17:11,562
[banging on door]
387
00:17:11,629 --> 00:17:14,131
YOU'RE A BURGLAR.
GO AHEAD, ADMIT IT.
388
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,833
NO I'M NOT.
YOU OPEN THIS DOOR!
389
00:17:16,901 --> 00:17:18,402
WELL, THEN YOU'RE A ZOMBIE.
390
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:20,303
I SAW NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.
391
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:22,706
THE GOOD VERSION.
THE BLACK AND WHITE VERSION.
392
00:17:22,774 --> 00:17:24,675
THE ONE EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT.
393
00:17:27,412 --> 00:17:31,081
WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY OUT
AND LEAVE ME ALONE?
394
00:17:31,149 --> 00:17:32,216
[exclaims]
395
00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:34,151
OH, OH, MY GOD.
396
00:17:34,218 --> 00:17:36,720
IT'S THE DEVIL DOG HOUND
FROM HELL.
397
00:17:36,788 --> 00:17:38,756
[screaming]
398
00:17:40,158 --> 00:17:41,959
[glass shattering]
399
00:17:44,362 --> 00:17:45,362
[yells]
400
00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:47,364
THE NOISE!
401
00:17:47,432 --> 00:17:49,299
[quavering]
402
00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:53,437
OH, I HATE
WHEN THE WALLS BREATHE,
IT'S SO STUPID!
403
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:02,479
OH, I'M SORRY, SIR.
NO, GO AHEAD.
YOU CAN BREATHE ALL YOU WANT.
404
00:18:02,547 --> 00:18:04,348
IT'S A FREE COUNTRY.
405
00:18:04,415 --> 00:18:07,818
ON SECOND THOUGHT,
WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK
TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM?
406
00:18:07,885 --> 00:18:11,955
WHICH IS HELL OR... OR MAYBE
SOME PLACE WORSE.
407
00:18:14,792 --> 00:18:18,595
� SAVE US
408
00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:25,569
� SAVE US
409
00:18:25,636 --> 00:18:28,472
OH, NO, PLEASE, I PRAY
THAT'S JUST BAD PLUMBING.
410
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:32,230
[screaming]
411
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:35,412
[clattering]
412
00:18:43,321 --> 00:18:44,687
[glass shattering]
413
00:18:52,096 --> 00:18:55,232
OH, MY GOD,
WHAT A HORRIBLE DREAM.
414
00:18:56,133 --> 00:18:57,768
AND I LOOKED SO FAT.
415
00:19:07,578 --> 00:19:11,281
OH, I'M NEED OF A COMPLETE
NEUROLOGICAL WORK-UP.
416
00:19:13,651 --> 00:19:16,253
ALL RIGHT, DON'T PANIC.
DON'T PANIC.
417
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:19,323
I'M SURE YOU CAN
MAKE EVERYTHING
LOOK NICE AND SPIFFY
418
00:19:19,391 --> 00:19:21,425
BEFORE SHE GETS HERE.
419
00:19:21,492 --> 00:19:24,128
[doorbell ringing]
CHRIS, IT'S ME, MRS. COWAN.
420
00:19:24,195 --> 00:19:26,397
THE DOOR SEEMS TO BE STUCK.
421
00:19:27,164 --> 00:19:29,533
OH, NO. I'M DEAD.
422
00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:33,504
OH, NO. AND I JUST KNOW
SHE'S NOT GONNA PAY ME NOW.
423
00:19:33,571 --> 00:19:37,374
THERE'S PROBABLY GOING TO BE
SOME LITIGATION INVOLVED
WITH THIS, TOO.
424
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:48,552
HI. HOW ARE YOU?
WELCOME HOME.
425
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:49,920
DID YOU BRING ME ANYTHING?
426
00:19:49,987 --> 00:19:51,455
[laughing]
427
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:52,856
I'M JUST JOKING.
428
00:19:52,924 --> 00:19:54,758
YOU KNOW, BECAUSE
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY,
429
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:56,292
MY PARENTS USED
TO GO OFF ON TRIPS.
430
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,862
THEY'D ALWAYS HAVE TO
BRING ME A LITTLE GIFT BACK.
431
00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:00,296
OTHERWISE, I'D CRY
AND I'D CRY.
432
00:20:00,364 --> 00:20:01,532
[laughing]
433
00:20:01,599 --> 00:20:03,801
I MEAN, YOU KNOW HOW KIDS ARE.
434
00:20:03,868 --> 00:20:04,868
[sighs]
435
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:08,338
DO YOU LIKE PUDDING?
436
00:20:08,406 --> 00:20:11,308
WHAT IN GOD'S NAME
HAPPENED HERE?
437
00:20:12,577 --> 00:20:15,312
OH, UH, WELL,
YOU MUST BE REFERRING
438
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,881
TO THE FACT THAT
THINGS LOOK A LITTLE ASKEW.
439
00:20:17,948 --> 00:20:19,749
YEAH. UH...
440
00:20:19,817 --> 00:20:22,119
WELL, YOU KNOW, IT GOT
KIND OF BLUSTERY LAST NIGHT.
441
00:20:22,187 --> 00:20:24,120
THIS WAS IRREPLACEABLE.
442
00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:29,292
WELL, YOU KNOW,
I'M NO ANTIQUARIAN,
443
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,720
BUT I'M... I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN
YOU CAN GO DOWN
TO WOOLWORTH'S
444
00:20:31,729 --> 00:20:33,897
AND GET A CRATE OF THESE
FOR ABOUT $20.
445
00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:37,734
OH, MRS. COWAN,
I CAN'T LIE TO YOU.
446
00:20:37,802 --> 00:20:40,904
THERE'S SOMETHING
DREADFULLY WRONG
WITH YOUR HOUSE.
447
00:20:40,972 --> 00:20:43,740
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
IT'S... IT'S EITHER
EVIL SPIRITS OR... OR
448
00:20:43,808 --> 00:20:47,244
REALLY BAD CARPENTRY,
BUT IT WAS A NIGHTMARE
LAST NIGHT.
449
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:48,846
IT WAS, UH...
450
00:20:48,913 --> 00:20:50,313
[glass clinking]
451
00:20:50,381 --> 00:20:52,783
HEY! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
FAT ASS!
452
00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:57,988
THERE'S MORE
WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
453
00:20:58,056 --> 00:21:00,256
[glass shattering]
454
00:21:00,324 --> 00:21:02,959
OH, SO YOU DID ALL THIS.
455
00:21:03,027 --> 00:21:05,929
YOU DESTROYED MY HOME.
456
00:21:05,997 --> 00:21:07,063
HEY, YEAH.
457
00:21:07,131 --> 00:21:09,366
YEAH, THAT WORKS.
YEAH, HE DID ALL THIS.
458
00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:13,804
LITTLE MR. TAKE-WHAT-DOESN'T-
BELONG-TO-HIM, HUH?
459
00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:15,706
YOU ARE A FIEND, SIR.
460
00:21:15,773 --> 00:21:19,309
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
I TRIED TO ROB YOU,
BUT I NEVER LEAVE A MESS.
461
00:21:19,376 --> 00:21:22,078
IF THIS JERK
HADN'T WENT NUTS
AND BARRICADED THE DOOR,
462
00:21:22,146 --> 00:21:24,481
I WOULD HAVE BEEN
OUT OF HERE HOURS AGO.
463
00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:26,383
MRS. COWAN,
WHO ARE YOU GOING TO BELIEVE?
464
00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:30,086
MR. CHOP-'EM-UP-
AND-STUFF-'EM-UNDER-
THE-FLOORBOARDS OR ME?
465
00:21:30,154 --> 00:21:33,790
CHRIS PETERSON,
AMERICAN PAPERBOY DELUXE?
466
00:21:33,858 --> 00:21:36,527
LADY, YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME.
HE MAY EVEN BE DANGEROUS.
467
00:21:36,594 --> 00:21:38,094
HEY, HEY.
468
00:21:38,162 --> 00:21:40,331
SHUT UP UNLESS YOU WANT
ANOTHER CERAMIC KITTY
SHOVED UP...
469
00:21:40,398 --> 00:21:42,833
LANGUAGE, YOUNG MAN,
LANGUAGE.
470
00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:46,770
I'M SORRY, MA'AM.
LIKE YOU'VE NEVER USED
LANGUAGE LIKE THAT BEFORE.
471
00:21:46,838 --> 00:21:49,139
I GUESS IT'S TIME
TO CALL THE POLICE.
472
00:21:51,676 --> 00:21:54,811
BOY, YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT A RELIEF IT WAS
TO FIND OUT
473
00:21:54,879 --> 00:21:56,747
THAT THERE WAS
SOMEBODY UPSTAIRS ALL NIGHT.
474
00:21:56,814 --> 00:21:59,149
BOY, WITH ALL THOSE NOISES,
I WAS STARTING TO THINK
475
00:21:59,216 --> 00:22:00,584
I WAS GOING A LITTLE CRAZY.
476
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,185
YOU KNOW, LIKE, UH,
TIME TO TAKE ME OFF
477
00:22:02,253 --> 00:22:04,454
TO THE RUBBER ROOM
IN THE FUNNY JACKET.
478
00:22:04,522 --> 00:22:08,592
BUT NOW I KNOW
I'M... I'M AS SANE
AND HEALTHY AS APPLE PIE.
479
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:10,193
HEY, NO DIAL TONE.
480
00:22:13,264 --> 00:22:14,197
[roaring]
481
00:22:15,499 --> 00:22:18,035
I ASSUME WE ALL SAW THAT.
SAW WHAT?
482
00:22:18,102 --> 00:22:20,237
YEAH, WHAT?
483
00:22:20,305 --> 00:22:23,139
OK, EXCUSE ME NOW,
WHILE I GO DO THIS.
484
00:22:26,244 --> 00:22:27,310
[glass shattering]35871
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