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1
00:00:01,567 --> 00:00:03,801
YEAH, THIS WOMAN
WAS INCREDIBLE.
2
00:00:03,869 --> 00:00:07,004
SHE WASN'T ONE OF THOSE
EARTHY NATURAL TYPES EITHER,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
3
00:00:07,072 --> 00:00:10,942
I MEAN, HER BEAUTY CAME FROM
LOADS AND LOADS OF MAKEUP.
4
00:00:11,009 --> 00:00:12,210
SO ANYWAY, P.S.
5
00:00:12,278 --> 00:00:13,745
I FIND OUT SHE'S MARRIED.
6
00:00:13,812 --> 00:00:15,947
JUST OUT FOR A CHEAP THRILL.
7
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,715
[chuckling]
8
00:00:17,783 --> 00:00:19,451
I MEAN, WE'VE ALL
BEEN THERE, RIGHT?
9
00:00:19,485 --> 00:00:21,386
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST
PUSH HER IN THE MUD?
10
00:00:21,453 --> 00:00:23,221
WELL, DON'T YOU THINK
I TRIED THAT?
11
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:24,589
YOU'RE SO COOL.
12
00:00:24,656 --> 00:00:26,258
SO ARE YOU
NEWS BOYS READY?
13
00:00:26,325 --> 00:00:28,560
YEAH, UH, BROCCOLI,
ALL AROUND.
14
00:00:28,594 --> 00:00:29,494
YUCK.
15
00:00:29,561 --> 00:00:30,762
UGH, MAN.
16
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,530
I'LL HAVE A POWDERED
JELLY DOUGHNUT.
17
00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,398
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
TAKE A HANDFUL OF LARD,
18
00:00:34,466 --> 00:00:35,800
ROLL IT IN SOME GROUND GLASS,
19
00:00:35,868 --> 00:00:37,201
AND DIP IT
IN A CUP OF DRAINO,
20
00:00:37,269 --> 00:00:39,237
'CAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
YOU'RE DOING TO YOUR ARTERIES.
21
00:00:39,304 --> 00:00:40,471
HE'LL HAVE A BRAN MUFFIN.
22
00:00:40,473 --> 00:00:41,513
I'LL HAVE
A CHOCOLATE MILK.
23
00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:43,074
LOOK, LET ME SAVE YOU
THE MONEY.
24
00:00:43,142 --> 00:00:45,043
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO OUT
TO YOUR DADDY'S CAR,
25
00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:46,644
OPEN UP THE HOOD,
PULL OUT THE BATTERY,
26
00:00:46,712 --> 00:00:48,380
HOLD IT OVER YOUR HEAD
AND CHUGALUG,
27
00:00:48,447 --> 00:00:50,715
'CAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
YOU'RE DOING TO YOUR BODY.
28
00:00:50,783 --> 00:00:52,517
MAKE IT
2 BRAN MUFFINS.
29
00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:53,918
KIDS, YOU'RE NEVER
TOO YOUNG
30
00:00:53,986 --> 00:00:55,687
TO START TAKING CARE
OF YOUR HEALTH.
31
00:00:55,754 --> 00:00:57,421
I'LL HAVE
A DOUBLE-DECKER SUNDAE
32
00:00:57,489 --> 00:00:58,649
WITH CHOCOLATE SYRUP.
33
00:00:58,658 --> 00:00:59,991
THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS
PRETTY GOOD.
34
00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:02,460
I THINK I'LL HAVE
ONE OF THOSE, TOO.
35
00:01:02,527 --> 00:01:03,627
HEY, EDDIE,
36
00:01:03,695 --> 00:01:06,798
MY DAD AND I ARE GONNA
WASTE YOU AND YOUR DAD
NEXT SATURDAY.
37
00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:08,633
YOU'RE GOING DOWN, OTTO.
38
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:10,569
MY DAD AND I WILL
TEAR OUT YOUR GUTS
39
00:01:10,636 --> 00:01:12,103
AND SCRAMBLE 'EM
LIKE EGGS.
40
00:01:12,171 --> 00:01:14,406
HEY, HOLD IT.
YOU KNOW I DON'T
LIKE THAT KIND OF TALK.
41
00:01:14,473 --> 00:01:17,475
EGGS, INCREDIBLY HIGH
IN CHOLESTEROL.
42
00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:20,778
CHRIS, WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT THE COMPETITION
ON SATURDAY.
43
00:01:20,846 --> 00:01:21,813
COMPETITION?
44
00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:23,515
THE NEWSPAPER BOY SEMI-ANNUAL
45
00:01:23,582 --> 00:01:25,116
FATHER AND SON DAY.
46
00:01:25,184 --> 00:01:27,485
OH, YEAH,
THE OLD FATHER AND SON DAY.
47
00:01:27,553 --> 00:01:30,121
YEAH, MY DAD AND I USED
TO ENTER THAT ALL THE TIME.
48
00:01:30,188 --> 00:01:31,523
ARE YOU ENTERING
THIS YEAR?
49
00:01:31,590 --> 00:01:32,591
[laughs]
50
00:01:33,025 --> 00:01:34,759
NO.
51
00:01:34,827 --> 00:01:37,128
I THINK THAT WOULD BE
A LITTLE UNFAIR COMPETITION.
52
00:01:37,195 --> 00:01:40,164
KINDA LIKE, UH, MERYL STREEP
SHOWING UP AT STAR SEARCH.
53
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,100
WHAT HE'S TRYING TO SAY
IS THAT HE'S TOO OLD.
54
00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:43,401
YEAH.
55
00:01:43,468 --> 00:01:44,936
NO, OTTO, WHAT I'M
TRYING TO SAY IS
56
00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:47,371
I GOT BETTER THINGS
TO DO, OK? ADULT THINGS.
57
00:01:47,439 --> 00:01:49,373
LIKE, UH,
PLAYING WITH MATCHES.
58
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:52,944
AND, UH, EATING CANDY
FROM STRANGERS.
59
00:01:53,012 --> 00:01:54,679
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, STRANGERS
60
00:01:54,746 --> 00:01:56,581
WHO, BY THE WAY,
HAVE THE BEST CANDY.
61
00:01:56,648 --> 00:01:58,683
BUT I GUESS YOU WOULDN'T
KNOW THAT, WOULD YOU?
62
00:01:58,750 --> 00:02:00,870
HERE'S YOUR FOOD,
DOUGHBOYS.
63
00:02:06,058 --> 00:02:08,927
HEY, UM, BILLY,
CAN I BORROW A BUCK?
64
00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:10,561
DID YOU JUST
CALL ME A CHICKEN?
65
00:02:10,629 --> 00:02:11,896
NO, I NEED A BUCK.
66
00:02:12,031 --> 00:02:13,297
BUCK.
67
00:02:13,365 --> 00:02:14,899
AS IN "BUCK-BUCK",
AS IN CHICKEN CLUCKING NOISES,
RIGHT?
68
00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:16,034
GO AHEAD, DENY IT.
69
00:02:16,101 --> 00:02:18,203
I WASN'T CALLING
ANYBODY A CHICKEN.
70
00:02:18,270 --> 00:02:19,303
BUT MAYBE YOU ARE.
71
00:02:19,371 --> 00:02:21,006
UH-HUH, I SEE
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
72
00:02:21,073 --> 00:02:23,808
I CAN READ YOUR
SILENT LITTLE STARES.
73
00:02:23,876 --> 00:02:26,477
MY STATUS AS YOUR
GOD-LIKE ROLE MODEL
IS IN DANGER, ISN'T IT?
74
00:02:26,545 --> 00:02:28,713
YOU'RE ALL JUST DARING ME
TO ENTER THAT CONTEST.
75
00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:30,481
GO AHEAD AND ENTER.
76
00:02:30,549 --> 00:02:32,016
MY DAD AND I WILL
WIPE THE FLOOR
WITH YOU ANYWAY.
77
00:02:32,083 --> 00:02:33,351
WE WIN EVERY YEAR.
78
00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:35,887
OH, IS THAT SO,
MR. RUSSIAN HOCKEY TEAM?
79
00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:38,089
WELL, ALL RIGHT, YOU JUST
THREW DOWN THE GAUNTLET.
80
00:02:38,157 --> 00:02:39,924
FROM HERE ON IN,
I'M IN TRAINING.
81
00:02:39,992 --> 00:02:42,227
I'M GONNA GO HOME,
I'M GONNA PULL OUT
THE NAUTILUS,
82
00:02:42,294 --> 00:02:44,229
I'M GONNA SLATHER MYSELF UP
WITH BENGAY,
83
00:02:44,296 --> 00:02:46,865
I'M GONNA PUT ON THE KEDS
AND RUN MAYBE 12 MILES.
84
00:02:46,932 --> 00:02:48,967
CAN I GET A LITTLE MORE
CHOCOLATE SAUCE ON THIS?
85
00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:51,569
BY SATURDAY I'M GONNA BE
LOOKING LIKE BUSTER CRABBE.
86
00:02:52,037 --> 00:02:53,805
ISN'T HE DEAD?
87
00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:55,540
WELL, I'LL LOOK LIKE HIM
BEFORE HE DIED.
88
00:02:55,607 --> 00:02:57,542
WASN'T HE, LIKE, 90 YEARS OLD?
89
00:02:57,609 --> 00:02:59,944
HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW
WHO BUSTER CRABBE IS?
90
00:03:00,012 --> 00:03:02,246
YOU'RE 10 YEARS OLD,
AND YOU KNOW
WHO BUSTER CRABBE IS?
91
00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:03,448
THAT'S SICK.
92
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:07,986
�[Stand by R.E.M playing]
93
00:03:14,493 --> 00:03:17,729
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
94
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,363
� NOW FACE NORTH
95
00:03:19,431 --> 00:03:20,899
� THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
96
00:03:20,966 --> 00:03:24,002
� WONDER WHY YOUHAVEN'T BEFORE �
97
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:26,437
� NOW STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU WORK �
98
00:03:26,505 --> 00:03:28,073
� NOW FACE WEST
99
00:03:28,140 --> 00:03:30,275
� THINK ABOUT THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
100
00:03:30,342 --> 00:03:32,210
� WONDER WHY YOUHAVEN'T BEFORE �
101
00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:35,146
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
102
00:03:35,214 --> 00:03:36,881
� NOW FACE NORTH
103
00:03:36,949 --> 00:03:38,649
� THINK ABOUT DIRECTION
104
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:41,152
� WONDER WHYYOU HAVEN'T BEFORE �
105
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:43,922
� NOW STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU WORK �
106
00:03:43,989 --> 00:03:45,723
� NOW FACE WEST
107
00:03:45,891 --> 00:03:47,851
� THINK ABOUT THE PLACEWHERE YOU LIVE �
108
00:03:47,893 --> 00:03:49,994
� WONDER WHY YOUHAVEN'T BEFORE �
109
00:03:50,062 --> 00:03:52,731
� STAND IN THE PLACEWHERE YOU ARE �
110
00:03:53,832 --> 00:03:56,935
� SO STAND
111
00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:01,873
GO ON, HONEY?
WHO IS IT?
112
00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:03,040
IT'S BUCHANAN.
113
00:04:03,108 --> 00:04:04,075
NO.
114
00:04:04,142 --> 00:04:06,310
IT'S CARTER.
NO.
115
00:04:06,378 --> 00:04:07,879
ALL RIGHT, IT'S JEFFERSON.
116
00:04:07,946 --> 00:04:09,547
TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH.
117
00:04:09,615 --> 00:04:11,615
WELL, IT'S HARD TO SEE
THROUGH ALL THIS DAMN SYRUP.
118
00:04:11,617 --> 00:04:12,817
OH.
119
00:04:13,118 --> 00:04:14,452
YOU KNOW,
120
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,354
BREAKFAST HAS BECOME
SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING
121
00:04:16,421 --> 00:04:19,390
SINCE WE GOT THESE
PRESIDENTIAL COMMEMORATIVE
PLATES.
122
00:04:19,458 --> 00:04:22,460
I KNEW WE'D ENJOY THEM,
BUT NEVER TO THIS EXTENT.
123
00:04:22,528 --> 00:04:24,896
GLADYS,
WAS JEFFERSON ASSASSINATED?
124
00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:26,597
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
125
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,667
UH, I GUESS IT'S A CHIP
IN THE PLATE.
126
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:30,969
HEY, DAD,
LOOK WHAT I FOUND
127
00:04:31,036 --> 00:04:32,804
WHILE I WAS RUMMAGING
THROUGH THE ATTIC.
128
00:04:32,871 --> 00:04:34,172
IT'S YOUR
OLD POTATO SACK.
129
00:04:34,239 --> 00:04:36,140
OH, LOOK, FRED,
IT'S YOUR OLD RACING SACK
130
00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:38,509
FROM THE NEWSPAPER BOY
FATHER AND SON GAMES.
131
00:04:38,577 --> 00:04:40,712
GLADYS, I THOUGHT WE HAD
THE ATTIC SEALED UP
132
00:04:40,779 --> 00:04:42,780
DURING OUR EXORCIST PANIC.
133
00:04:42,848 --> 00:04:46,751
DAD, REMEMBER,
THIS IS THE ONE WE LOST
THE TROPHY WITH IN '65.
134
00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:49,420
AND THEN WE CAME BACK
TO LOSE AGAIN IN '66.
135
00:04:49,487 --> 00:04:51,288
AND THEN WE REALLY
PULLED IT TOGETHER IN '68
136
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:53,624
WHEN YOU RUPTURED A DISC.
137
00:04:53,692 --> 00:04:55,627
BOY, DOES THAT
BRING BACK MEMORIES.
138
00:04:55,694 --> 00:04:57,561
YEAH, LIKE BEING HUMILIATED
139
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:58,730
AND SPIT ON.
140
00:04:59,598 --> 00:05:01,399
DAD, DO YOU EVER MISS IT?
141
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:04,368
I MEAN THE THRILL
OF COMPETITION,
142
00:05:04,436 --> 00:05:06,204
THE WIND IN YOUR HAIR
143
00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:07,972
AS YOU HOP DOWN THE FIELD,
144
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:09,807
EATING THE DUST
OF YOUR BETTERS?
145
00:05:09,875 --> 00:05:11,075
AND REMEMBER YOU WERE BOTH
146
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,610
QUITE PITIFUL
IN THE EGG RACES, TOO?
147
00:05:12,677 --> 00:05:13,611
THAT'S RIGHT.
148
00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:14,845
DO YOU EVER
THINK ABOUT MAYBE,
149
00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:16,180
I DON'T KNOW,
RELIVING THOSE
150
00:05:16,248 --> 00:05:18,083
GLORIOUS FAILURES
OF YESTERYEAR?
151
00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:19,818
NO, NEVER.
152
00:05:19,885 --> 00:05:21,119
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
153
00:05:21,186 --> 00:05:22,853
AND THAT'S WHY
I'VE SIGNED US BOTH UP
154
00:05:22,921 --> 00:05:24,789
FOR THE NEWSPAPER BOY
FATHER AND SON DAY.
155
00:05:24,856 --> 00:05:26,057
OH, FRED.
156
00:05:26,124 --> 00:05:27,925
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
157
00:05:27,993 --> 00:05:29,660
I WOULD NEVER, REPEAT,
158
00:05:29,728 --> 00:05:32,797
NEVER PUT MYSELF THROUGH
THAT LIVING HELL AGAIN.
159
00:05:32,864 --> 00:05:33,998
DAD, COME ON.
160
00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:36,834
THAT WAS BACK THEN.
YOU KNOW, YOU WEREN'T REALLY
161
00:05:36,902 --> 00:05:38,269
IN THE BEST OF SHAPE
BACK THEN.
162
00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:41,238
I MEAN NOW YOU'RE
IN YOUR MID TO LATE 60's,
163
00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:43,741
YOU'RE 50 TO 20
POUNDS HEAVIER,
164
00:05:43,809 --> 00:05:45,210
YOUR CHOLESTEROL'S UP,
165
00:05:45,277 --> 00:05:47,278
AND YOU'VE GOT THOSE REALLY
TOUGH HARD ARTERIES.
166
00:05:47,346 --> 00:05:49,947
YOU'RE AN ANIMAL NOW, DAD.
167
00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:52,417
I THINK IT'S
A WONDERFUL IDEA, FRED.
168
00:05:52,484 --> 00:05:53,951
AND I THINK IT WOULD BE NICE
169
00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:55,986
IF YOU TWO DID SOMETHING
TOGETHER FOR A CHANGE.
170
00:05:56,054 --> 00:05:57,588
WHAT? GLADYS,
171
00:05:57,656 --> 00:06:00,091
IT'S NOT LIKE THAT
CAT'S IN THE CRADLE SONG.
172
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:02,693
HE'S LIVED HERE
FOR 30 YEARS.
173
00:06:02,761 --> 00:06:05,163
BOY, YOU REALLY KNOW
WHAT BUTTONS TO PUSH, DAD.
174
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:07,899
I DON'T WANT YOU TWO
DRIFTING APART.
175
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:10,501
REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED
TO THAT BOY UP THE STREET?
176
00:06:10,568 --> 00:06:12,603
HIS FATHER DIDN'T SPEND
ENOUGH TIME WITH HIM,
177
00:06:12,671 --> 00:06:14,205
SO HE HITCHHIKED
ACROSS THE COUNTRY,
178
00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:16,907
LEAVING A TRAIL OF BODIES
IN HIS WAKE.
179
00:06:16,975 --> 00:06:18,977
OH, AT LEAST IT GOT HIM
OUT OF THE HOUSE.
180
00:06:20,612 --> 00:06:22,647
COME ON, DAD, PLEASE.
181
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:23,747
NO.
182
00:06:23,815 --> 00:06:24,782
PLEASE?
183
00:06:24,850 --> 00:06:25,771
NO.
184
00:06:25,784 --> 00:06:26,651
PLEASE!
185
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:27,719
NO!
186
00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:29,988
WELL, OK.
187
00:06:30,055 --> 00:06:32,924
I GUESS I'M JUST GONNA HAVE
TO MAKE THE OLD "FACE".
188
00:06:32,991 --> 00:06:34,091
OH, JEEZ.
189
00:06:34,159 --> 00:06:35,527
YEAH, I THINK IF YOU REMEMBER,
190
00:06:35,594 --> 00:06:36,928
I GOT MY FIRST SET
OF HOT WHEELS
191
00:06:36,995 --> 00:06:38,129
THANKS TO "THE FACE".
192
00:06:38,196 --> 00:06:40,164
I GOT THE, UH,
MOD-HAIRED G.I. JOE
193
00:06:40,232 --> 00:06:41,733
THANKS TO "THE FACE".
194
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,135
AND, UH, WELL, SOMETHING
THE TWO OF YOU
PROBABLY DON'T KNOW,
195
00:06:44,202 --> 00:06:47,372
UM, THANKS TO "THE FACE",
I LOST MY VIRGINITY.
196
00:06:47,439 --> 00:06:49,674
YOU CAN'T DO
"THE FACE" ANYMORE.
197
00:06:49,741 --> 00:06:51,109
YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE CHOPS.
198
00:06:51,176 --> 00:06:53,845
IT USED TO BE CUTE,
BUT NOW IT'S PATHETIC.
199
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,514
COME ON, DAD,
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING
TO CRACK LIKE A CHEAP SUIT.
200
00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:57,648
YEAH, RIGHT.
201
00:06:57,716 --> 00:06:58,749
ALL RIGHT.
202
00:06:58,817 --> 00:07:00,018
YOU ASKED FOR IT.
HERE I GO.
203
00:07:00,085 --> 00:07:01,185
[clears throat]
204
00:07:01,253 --> 00:07:02,453
[sniffs]
205
00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:07,425
OH, IT'S SO CUTE.
206
00:07:07,492 --> 00:07:09,793
IT'S LIKE HAVING
OUR LITTLE CHRIS BACK.
207
00:07:09,861 --> 00:07:11,429
I'M NOT LOOKING.
208
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:16,300
OH,
209
00:07:17,168 --> 00:07:18,435
IT'S SO UGLY.
210
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:20,771
IT'S WORSE THAN I REMEMBER.
211
00:07:20,839 --> 00:07:23,107
BUT AT LEAST YOU CAN'T
KEEP IT UP FOREVER.
212
00:07:23,174 --> 00:07:24,809
OH, YEAH?
213
00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:26,110
WATCH ME.
214
00:07:39,925 --> 00:07:41,492
GOOD MORNING, MOTHER.
215
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,161
GOOD MORNING, FATHER.
216
00:07:57,877 --> 00:08:01,011
ALL RIGHT, IT'S BEEN 3 DAYS.
217
00:08:01,079 --> 00:08:03,214
YOU WIN. ENOUGH. I GIVE UP.
218
00:08:03,281 --> 00:08:05,049
IF IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO YOU,
I'LL DO IT.
219
00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:06,850
OH, DAD, THANKS.
220
00:08:06,918 --> 00:08:08,118
THANKS, DAD.
221
00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:09,320
YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO REGRET THIS.
222
00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:10,921
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BALL.
223
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:13,691
CHRIS, I SAID I'D DO IT.
YOU CAN DROP "THE FACE" NOW.
224
00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:15,893
I ACTUALLY
DROPPED IT 2 DAYS AGO.
225
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,461
IT'S FROZEN LIKE THIS.
226
00:09:20,292 --> 00:09:22,860
MAN, DAD, I'M PUMPING
ENOUGH ADRENALINE
TO LIGHT UP VEGAS.
227
00:09:22,928 --> 00:09:24,996
WE'RE GOING TO BE THE HITS
OF FATHER AND SON DAY.
228
00:09:25,063 --> 00:09:26,263
I THINK WE HAVE
THE ADVANTAGE
229
00:09:26,331 --> 00:09:28,532
IF THEY LET US
USE OUR OWN SPOONS.
230
00:09:39,511 --> 00:09:40,812
[both grunting]
231
00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:49,754
IT'S NOT EXACTLY
THE WAY I REMEMBER IT.
232
00:09:49,821 --> 00:09:51,155
HOW ABOUT YOU?
233
00:09:51,222 --> 00:09:52,323
[thumping]
234
00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:02,200
[gasps]
235
00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:04,502
YOU KNOW, DAD.
I KNOW IT LOOKS PRETTY BAD,
236
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:06,704
BUT IT'S REALLY
JUST FUN AND GAMES.
237
00:10:06,771 --> 00:10:08,272
COME ON, LET'S GO.
238
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,741
HI.
239
00:10:10,809 --> 00:10:12,743
HI. SO YOU GUYS
ARE SIGNING UP?
240
00:10:12,911 --> 00:10:13,744
MMM-HMM.
241
00:10:13,812 --> 00:10:15,613
YOU'RE GONNA NEED HELMETS,
242
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:17,215
PADDING,
243
00:10:17,282 --> 00:10:18,916
AND YOU'RE GONNA NEED TO SIGN
THIS RELEASE FORM
244
00:10:18,983 --> 00:10:20,584
IN CASE YOU GET PARALYZED.
245
00:10:20,652 --> 00:10:22,352
FOR YOUR COMFORT
AND PEACE OF MIND,
246
00:10:22,420 --> 00:10:24,980
YOU'LL NOTICE WE'VE GOT
A LOT MORE AMBULANCES HERE
THAN LAST YEAR.
247
00:10:25,023 --> 00:10:27,157
SO WE'RE NOT GONNA RUN OUT
OF OXYGEN AGAIN.
248
00:10:27,225 --> 00:10:29,159
YOU IN PARTICULAR
OUGHT TO LIKE THAT.
249
00:10:29,227 --> 00:10:31,395
THAT'S IT. I'M A DOT.
250
00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:34,231
COME ON, DAD, YOU'RE MUCH,
MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
251
00:10:34,299 --> 00:10:37,301
COME ON, LET'S GIVE IT
A CHANCE, HUH? COME ON.
252
00:10:37,369 --> 00:10:38,736
GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY,
253
00:10:38,803 --> 00:10:40,203
I WANT TO WELCOME YOU ALL
254
00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:42,639
TO THE FATHER AND SONGLADIATOR BATTLES.
255
00:10:42,707 --> 00:10:44,108
[crowd cheering]
256
00:10:46,578 --> 00:10:48,979
I SEE SOMEFAMILIAR FACES OUT THERE.
257
00:10:49,047 --> 00:10:50,948
IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACKAND AMBULATORY.
258
00:10:54,186 --> 00:10:55,519
YOU KNOW IN RECENT YEARS,
259
00:10:55,587 --> 00:10:57,754
THE TREND HAS BEEN AWAYFROM COMPETITION
260
00:10:57,822 --> 00:11:00,024
AND A WIN-AT-ALL-COSTMENTALITY.
261
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,226
BUT NOT HERE.
262
00:11:02,794 --> 00:11:04,127
[crowd cheering]
263
00:11:05,897 --> 00:11:08,833
HERE, THERE'S ONLY GOING TO BEONE WINNING TEAM.
264
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:10,968
AND THE REST OF YOU ARE...
265
00:11:11,669 --> 00:11:12,837
WELL, LOSERS.
266
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:14,371
[crowd hollering]
267
00:11:14,439 --> 00:11:16,507
AND WHO WOULD YOURATHER BE ON A PLANE WITH?
268
00:11:17,142 --> 00:11:18,509
I KNOW MY CHOICE.
269
00:11:19,344 --> 00:11:20,304
[crowd cheering]
270
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:21,879
[sighs]
271
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:23,513
OK, THEY'RE NUTS.
272
00:11:23,581 --> 00:11:25,182
LOOK, DAD, SO IT'S NOT
A COMPLETE LOSS
273
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:26,617
I'LL RACE YOU TO THE CAR.
274
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:27,784
[groans]
275
00:11:27,852 --> 00:11:30,154
SO YOU ACTUALLY
HAD THE GUTS TO SHOW UP.
276
00:11:30,221 --> 00:11:31,889
YEAH. YEAH,
WE'RE HERE.
277
00:11:31,957 --> 00:11:33,958
BUT, UH, YEAH, I DON'T THINK
WE'RE GONNA STAY.
278
00:11:34,025 --> 00:11:36,026
IT DOESN'T LOOK, UH,
CHALLENGING ENOUGH FOR US.
279
00:11:36,094 --> 00:11:37,261
UH, WE'D BE BORED.
280
00:11:37,329 --> 00:11:38,529
IT'S PRETTY MUCH
JUST BABY GAMES HERE.
281
00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:41,932
SEE, I TOLD YOU THEY'D
WUSS OUT, DIDN'T I, DAD?
282
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,160
CALL ME RICK.
283
00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:45,669
3-TIME FATHER-SON
GLADIATOR BATTLE CHAMPION,
284
00:11:45,737 --> 00:11:48,018
PART-TIME WELDER.
HOW YOU DOING?
285
00:11:48,373 --> 00:11:49,874
WHERE'S YOUR KID?
286
00:11:49,941 --> 00:11:53,544
UH, I DON'T HAVE ANY CHILDREN.
I'M BARREN.
287
00:11:53,578 --> 00:11:54,812
WAIT A MINUTE.
288
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,681
YOU MEAN, YOU'RE GONNA
COMPETE IN THIS THING
289
00:11:56,715 --> 00:11:59,083
WITH GRANNY HERE?
290
00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,652
WHAT DID YOU JUST
CALL MY DEAR PAPA?
291
00:12:01,719 --> 00:12:04,021
OH, CHRIS, IT DOESN'T MATTER,
PAPA OR GRANNY.
292
00:12:04,089 --> 00:12:05,789
NO, NO,
YOU WAIT A SECOND, DAD.
293
00:12:05,857 --> 00:12:06,924
YES, WE'RE GONNA COMPETE,
294
00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:08,833
AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
WE'RE GONNA WIN.
295
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,055
AND WE'RE GONNA WIN
FOR ONE REASON,
AND ONE REASON ONLY.
296
00:12:11,096 --> 00:12:13,364
AND GUESS WHAT?
I'M NOT GONNA
TELL YOU THAT REASON.
297
00:12:13,431 --> 00:12:15,266
SEE, THAT'S ALL PART
OF OUR LITTLE STRATEGY HERE.
298
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:16,533
AND YOU'RE ALREADY
PSYCHED OUT.
299
00:12:16,534 --> 00:12:18,001
WELL, NOW, IF YOU'LL
EXCUSE US,
300
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,504
MY DAD AND I ARE GONNA
GO DO SOME WARM-UP SQUATS.
301
00:12:23,608 --> 00:12:24,775
COME ON, OTTO.
302
00:12:24,843 --> 00:12:27,311
IT'S GONNA BE FUN KICKIN'
THE CRAP OUT OF THOSE GUYS.
303
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,679
MMM, I LOVE YOU, DAD.
304
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,049
[grunting]
305
00:12:32,117 --> 00:12:34,218
[Fletcher chatteringover P.A. system]
306
00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:35,319
YOU KNOW WHAT, CHRIS?
307
00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:37,088
AT FIRST, I DIDN'T
WANT TO DO THIS
308
00:12:37,155 --> 00:12:39,123
BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID
OF BEING HUMILIATED,
309
00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:42,559
BUT NOW I DON'T WANT TO DO IT
BECAUSE I'M AFRAID I'LL DIE.
310
00:12:42,627 --> 00:12:44,695
COME ON, DAD,
WE CAN'T BACK OUT NOW.
311
00:12:44,762 --> 00:12:46,463
ALL THE NEWSPAPER BOYS
ARE HERE.
312
00:12:46,531 --> 00:12:48,499
OUR FAMILY NAME
AND HONOR IS AT STAKE.
313
00:12:48,566 --> 00:12:51,068
WHY DON'T WE JUST DRESS UP
AS WOMEN AND SNEAK OFF
314
00:12:51,136 --> 00:12:53,377
LIKE OUR ANCESTORS
DID ON THE TITANIC?
315
00:12:56,908 --> 00:12:58,509
NAH, COME ON, DAD.
316
00:12:58,577 --> 00:13:00,912
LET'S BE MEN FOR ONCE
IN OUR LIVES, SHALL WE?
317
00:13:00,979 --> 00:13:02,647
COME ON.
318
00:13:02,714 --> 00:13:04,915
NOW BEFORE WE STARTTHE FIRST EVENT,
319
00:13:04,949 --> 00:13:06,851
AS USUAL I'D LIKETO REMIND EVERYONE
320
00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:09,387
TO PLAY SAFELY AND FAIRLY.
321
00:13:09,454 --> 00:13:12,056
AND AS USUAL I EXPECTYOU ALL TO IGNORE THAT.
322
00:13:12,123 --> 00:13:13,457
[crowd cheering]
323
00:13:13,525 --> 00:13:15,326
THAT'S WHY WE HAVEDR. KRAMER HERE.
324
00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:16,994
COME ON UP HERE, DOC.
325
00:13:17,061 --> 00:13:18,562
[all applauding]
326
00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:25,436
I'D JUST LIKE TO SAYTHAT I HOPE NO ONE DIES.
327
00:13:26,504 --> 00:13:28,372
PROBABLY SOMEONE WILL.
328
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:32,043
JUST A STATISTICAL REALITYWITH A GATHERING THIS LARGE.
329
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:34,178
[crowd cheering]
330
00:13:39,217 --> 00:13:42,586
OK, THE FIRST EVENT IS CALLED
331
00:13:42,654 --> 00:13:44,322
"HAVING TO STAYON THESE PEDESTALS
332
00:13:44,389 --> 00:13:47,824
AS LONG AS YOU CANWITHOUT GETTING KNOCKED OFF."
333
00:13:47,892 --> 00:13:49,793
FIRST TEAMS ARE IN PLACE.
334
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:51,462
READY?
335
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:52,463
[whistle blowing]
336
00:13:52,531 --> 00:13:54,231
[crowd cheering]
337
00:13:54,299 --> 00:13:55,539
[both groaning]
338
00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:02,573
OK. THE NEXT CHALLENGERSARE FRED AND CHRIS.
339
00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:03,840
THE PETERSONS.
340
00:14:07,913 --> 00:14:11,081
CHRIS, WE DON'T STAND A CHANCE
AGAINST THOSE HE-MEN.
341
00:14:11,149 --> 00:14:12,216
DAD, DON'T WORRY.
342
00:14:12,283 --> 00:14:14,084
THE BRAIN IS MORE POWERFUL
THAN THE BODY.
343
00:14:14,152 --> 00:14:15,619
WE'LL DEFEAT THEM
WITH OUR MINDS.
344
00:14:15,687 --> 00:14:16,587
I WISH I WERE DEAD.
345
00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:17,788
WATCH THIS.
346
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:20,324
TIME, TIME. MR. REFEREE?
EXCUSE ME.
347
00:14:20,392 --> 00:14:22,292
UH, I KNOW THAT MAN
UP THERE,
348
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,161
AND HE'S NOT A FATHER.
349
00:14:24,228 --> 00:14:26,163
HE'S ONLY A STEP-FATHER.
350
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:28,698
[crowd groaning]
351
00:14:28,766 --> 00:14:30,668
GET THEM OUT OF MY SIGHT.
352
00:14:30,735 --> 00:14:32,269
[crowd booing]
353
00:14:36,474 --> 00:14:38,375
OH, MY, I GUESS
IT'S A DEFAULT.
354
00:14:39,711 --> 00:14:42,280
OK, THE REPLACEMENT TEAM IS
355
00:14:42,347 --> 00:14:45,015
RICK AND OTTO, THE WALTERS.
356
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:46,817
[crowd cheering]
357
00:14:52,991 --> 00:14:55,159
TIME, TIME, MR. REFEREE?
358
00:14:56,394 --> 00:14:58,529
ALL RIGHT, DAD, LOOK.
JUST CONCENTRATE, OK?
359
00:14:58,597 --> 00:14:59,630
WE'RE GONNA WIN THIS ONE.
360
00:14:59,697 --> 00:15:01,032
JUST IMAGINE
YOU'RE A BRICK WALL
361
00:15:01,099 --> 00:15:02,333
ROOTED 100 FEET
IN THE GROUND.
362
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,100
DON'T LET ANYTHING
TAKE YOUR MIND OFF THAT.
363
00:15:04,168 --> 00:15:06,369
JUST THINK "BRICK WALL,
BRICK WALL", YOU'RE...
364
00:15:06,404 --> 00:15:07,471
HEY, LOOK, THERE'S MOM.
365
00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:09,739
WAVE, DAD, IT'S MOM. HI.
366
00:15:10,241 --> 00:15:11,742
[both groaning]
367
00:15:12,377 --> 00:15:13,811
[crowd gasping]
368
00:15:13,878 --> 00:15:15,479
[crowd chuckling]
369
00:15:18,049 --> 00:15:19,249
THAT WASN'T SO BAD.
370
00:15:19,317 --> 00:15:21,318
IT'S KINDA LIKE
PLAYING BADMINTON, HUH?
371
00:15:21,386 --> 00:15:22,719
WHAT JERKS.
372
00:15:32,363 --> 00:15:34,097
NOW IT'S PAYBACK TIME.
373
00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:38,936
[both groaning]
374
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:40,671
[crowd laughing]
375
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:44,375
HEY, YOU KNOW,
376
00:15:44,442 --> 00:15:45,642
I'M ACTUALLY STARTING
377
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:47,144
TO GET GOOD
AT THIS FALLING THING.
378
00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:49,213
JUST LET YOUR FACE
CATCH THE BRUNT OF IT, DAD.
379
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:51,081
IT'S NATURE'S SHOCK ABSORBER.
380
00:15:51,149 --> 00:15:54,051
HEY, PETERSONS.
YOUR STRATEGY SEEMS
TO BE WORKING.
381
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:56,187
WE'RE GETTING MORE
PSYCHED OUT BY THE MINUTE.
382
00:15:56,254 --> 00:15:57,254
[scoffs]
383
00:15:57,688 --> 00:15:59,357
[laughs]
384
00:15:59,424 --> 00:16:00,991
YOU KNOW, THEY'RE SUCH IDIOTS.
385
00:16:01,059 --> 00:16:03,226
THEY DON'T REALIZE
MY HEAD'S RINGING SO LOUDLY,
386
00:16:03,294 --> 00:16:05,054
I CAN'T HEAR A WORD
THEY'RE SAYING.
387
00:16:05,796 --> 00:16:07,831
IS THAT MY TOOTH OR YOURS?
388
00:16:10,301 --> 00:16:12,502
(Fletcher)THIS NEXT ONE TAKESA LITTLE TESTOSTERONE.
389
00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:14,371
IT'S ONE I LIKE TO CALL
390
00:16:14,439 --> 00:16:16,040
"TRYING TO STAY ON THE BEAM
391
00:16:16,107 --> 00:16:18,108
"WHILE MEDICINE BALLSARE BEING THROWN AT YOU,
392
00:16:18,176 --> 00:16:19,676
WITHOUT GETTING KNOCKED OFF".
393
00:16:19,744 --> 00:16:21,812
YOU KNOW, DAD, THIS ONE
ISN'T VERY MUCH DIFFERENT
394
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:22,879
THAN THE SPOONS THING,
395
00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:24,448
WITH THE EXCEPTION
OF THE POSSIBILITY
396
00:16:24,516 --> 00:16:26,717
OF SNAPPING
OUR SPINAL CHORDS.
397
00:16:31,389 --> 00:16:32,957
[both groaning]
398
00:16:40,999 --> 00:16:42,532
CHRIS,
399
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,402
I'M REALLY STARTING
TO LOSE MY PATIENCE.
400
00:16:45,470 --> 00:16:48,238
I WOULD LIKE A HAMBURGER
AND A SPECIAL CHEESE SHAKE,
401
00:16:48,306 --> 00:16:49,940
SOME CHOCOLATE SAUCE,
I BLESS YOU,
402
00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:51,609
AND THANK YOU
FOR SHOPPING McDONALDS.
403
00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:53,443
CHRIS, SNAP OUT OF IT.
404
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,793
I WANT YOU COHERENT
WHEN I TELL YOU OFF.
405
00:16:55,847 --> 00:16:58,581
OH, DAD. HI.
DID WE WIN?
406
00:16:58,649 --> 00:17:01,318
SEE, GUYS, I TOLD YOU
CHRIS WAS NOTHING SPECIAL.
407
00:17:01,386 --> 00:17:03,487
NO, CHRIS,
SAY IT ISN'T TRUE.
408
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:05,315
AH, YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
409
00:17:05,356 --> 00:17:07,036
WE'RE JUST SAVING
OUR STRENGTH, RIGHT, DAD?
410
00:17:07,058 --> 00:17:08,425
RIGHT, FOR THE RIDE HOME.
411
00:17:08,492 --> 00:17:09,652
YEAH, RIGHT.
412
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:12,063
COME ON, DAD.
413
00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:14,064
GREAT, WE'RE
GOING HOME, HUH?
414
00:17:14,131 --> 00:17:16,767
NO, DAD, WE HAVE
2 MORE EVENTS.
WE'RE DOING SO WELL.
415
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,502
OH, FORGET IT, CHRIS.
416
00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,871
DAD, THOSE ARE
THE PEOPLE I WORK WITH.
417
00:17:20,939 --> 00:17:22,206
NOW I NEED THEIR RESPECT.
418
00:17:22,273 --> 00:17:24,241
FOR THAT YOU CAN'T
GO 2 LOUSY EVENTS?
419
00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:25,709
I CAN GO 2 EVENTS,
420
00:17:25,777 --> 00:17:27,618
BUT YOUR MOTHER'S
WORRIED SICK.
421
00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:31,615
OH, LET'S GET IT
THE HELL OVER WITH.
422
00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:32,816
GREAT, LISTEN.
423
00:17:32,884 --> 00:17:34,084
THIS ONE'S REALLY EASY.
424
00:17:34,152 --> 00:17:36,152
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS HOIST ME
UP ON YOUR SHOULDERS,
425
00:17:36,187 --> 00:17:38,122
AND THEN RUN AS FAST
AS YOU CAN
FOR 250 YARDS.
426
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:39,725
AH, IT'S A SNAP.
OK.
427
00:17:42,293 --> 00:17:43,827
OK. COME ON, DAD.
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.
428
00:17:43,895 --> 00:17:44,935
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.
429
00:17:44,996 --> 00:17:47,498
TROT. NOTHING
CAN STOP US NOW!
430
00:17:47,565 --> 00:17:48,725
[groans]
431
00:17:49,801 --> 00:17:51,535
(Rick) YEAH, ALL RIGHT!
432
00:17:54,005 --> 00:17:56,039
NICE FORM, LOSERS.
433
00:17:56,107 --> 00:17:57,741
YOU STINK.
434
00:17:59,577 --> 00:18:00,811
DAD.
435
00:18:00,878 --> 00:18:03,079
OH, DAD, I'M SORRY.
436
00:18:03,147 --> 00:18:05,115
DAD, I SHOULDN'T HAVE
PUT YOU THROUGH THIS.
437
00:18:05,183 --> 00:18:07,885
OH, WE CAN'T COMPETE
WITH THEM ANYMORE.
438
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:10,487
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S OK.
439
00:18:10,554 --> 00:18:12,189
WE HAD OUR TIME.
440
00:18:12,256 --> 00:18:14,424
I MEAN, WE FAILED
BACK THEN, TOO.
441
00:18:14,492 --> 00:18:16,159
BUT IT WAS OUR TIME.
442
00:18:16,227 --> 00:18:18,862
AND THEY CAN'T TAKE
THOSE MEMORIES AWAY FROM US.
443
00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:20,330
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
444
00:18:20,398 --> 00:18:23,433
MAYBE WE CAN DISTORT
THOSE MEMORIES ENOUGH
445
00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:27,104
AND ONE DAY BELIEVE
THAT WE WERE ACTUALLY WINNERS.
446
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,239
DO YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M TRYING TO SAY, DAD?
447
00:18:29,307 --> 00:18:30,607
I WANNA QUIT.
448
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:33,076
I WANNA GO HOME.
449
00:18:33,144 --> 00:18:35,646
WELL, YOU
PANSY-FACE WUSS-GIRL.
450
00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:37,447
I'M SORRY?
451
00:18:37,515 --> 00:18:39,049
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU WANT TO QUIT
452
00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:40,483
AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH.
453
00:18:40,551 --> 00:18:41,752
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,
454
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:43,353
BUT I'M SICK OF BEING
PUSHED AROUND
455
00:18:43,421 --> 00:18:45,388
BY THOSE PATHETIC WEASELS
OVER THERE.
456
00:18:45,456 --> 00:18:47,658
NOW YOU CAN SIT HERE
ON YOUR CANDY BOTTOM
457
00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:50,394
AND CROCHET A LITTLE
DOLL'S HOUSE TO PLAY IN,
458
00:18:50,461 --> 00:18:52,930
BUT I'M GONNA GO
RACK ME UP A BODY COUNT.
459
00:18:54,565 --> 00:18:55,966
LET ME GET THIS
STRAIGHT, DAD.
460
00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:58,401
YOU WANT ME TO STAY HERE
WHILE YOU GO GET THE CAR?
461
00:18:58,469 --> 00:19:00,638
OUTTA MY WAY, BOY,
IT'S CLOBBERING TIME.
462
00:19:02,907 --> 00:19:04,274
[both grunting]
463
00:19:09,247 --> 00:19:10,681
COME ON.
464
00:19:10,748 --> 00:19:12,182
YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?
465
00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:13,617
[groans]
466
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:14,851
WHO'S NEXT?
467
00:19:14,919 --> 00:19:17,588
YOU'RE THE DISEASE,
I'M THE MEDICINE.
468
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,523
YIPPEE-KIE-YAY. HUBBA, HUBBA.
469
00:19:21,726 --> 00:19:23,327
[water splashing] OH, FRED!
470
00:19:23,394 --> 00:19:25,663
IS THAT THE BEST
YOU'VE GOT, DIRTBAGS?
471
00:19:27,064 --> 00:19:28,599
[grunting]
472
00:19:34,939 --> 00:19:36,340
[crowd gasping]
473
00:19:36,407 --> 00:19:38,142
(Gladys)
OH, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
474
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:41,512
(Fred)
WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING AT, SMILEY?
475
00:19:41,579 --> 00:19:43,213
HERE'S ONE FOR YOU, LADY.
476
00:19:43,281 --> 00:19:44,281
I HEARD THAT.
477
00:19:46,817 --> 00:19:47,818
[woman screaming]
478
00:19:47,885 --> 00:19:49,220
LEAVE HIM ALONE.
GET OFF HIM.
479
00:19:49,287 --> 00:19:51,087
LEAVE HIM ALONE.
IT'S NOT HIS FAULT.
480
00:19:51,155 --> 00:19:52,723
HE'S GOING THROUGH
THE CHANGE.
481
00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:53,957
IT'S MALE MENOPAUSE.
482
00:19:54,025 --> 00:19:56,693
HE JUST HAD A HOT-FLASH
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
483
00:19:56,761 --> 00:19:58,028
DON'T WORRY, DAD.
484
00:19:58,095 --> 00:19:59,730
WE'LL STICK BY YOU,
NO MATTER WHAT.
485
00:19:59,797 --> 00:20:01,031
AND WE'LL COME
AND VISIT YOU,
486
00:20:01,098 --> 00:20:03,534
UNLESS IT'S ONE OF THOSE
MAXIMUM SECURITY THINGS
487
00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:05,836
BECAUSE, FRANKLY, I FIND
THOSE RATHER DEPRESSING.
488
00:20:05,903 --> 00:20:07,137
LET ME THROUGH,
LET ME THROUGH.
489
00:20:07,205 --> 00:20:08,305
HOLD IT DOWN.
490
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:09,940
LET ME HAVE YOUR ATTENTION.
491
00:20:10,008 --> 00:20:12,675
WHILE THE PARAMEDICS GATHER UP
THE SCATTERED REMAINS
492
00:20:12,743 --> 00:20:14,577
OF THOSE WEAK-KNEED LOSERS,
493
00:20:14,645 --> 00:20:16,980
LET ME TAKE AN OPPORTUNITY
TO PRESENT THIS TROPHY
494
00:20:17,048 --> 00:20:18,749
TO FRED AND CHRIS PETERSON,
495
00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:20,917
THE FATHER AND SON TEAM
WHO'VE MOST CAPTURED
496
00:20:20,985 --> 00:20:22,486
THE SPIRIT OF THESE GAMES,
497
00:20:22,553 --> 00:20:24,321
WINNING AT ALL COSTS.
498
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:25,989
[crowd cheering]
499
00:20:30,328 --> 00:20:31,528
NEVER BEFORE
500
00:20:31,596 --> 00:20:34,264
HAVE I SEEN SUCH
A BLATANT DISREGARD FOR RULES
501
00:20:34,332 --> 00:20:35,832
AND OTHER PEOPLE'S SAFETY.
502
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:39,369
IT'S GONNA BE A TOUGH RECORD
TO BEAT NEXT YEAR.
503
00:20:39,436 --> 00:20:41,705
WOW, DAD,
WE WON SOMETHING.
504
00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:43,339
WE ACTUALLY WON SOMETHING.
505
00:20:43,407 --> 00:20:44,508
AND LOOK AT MOM,
506
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,443
I'VE NEVER SEEN HER
LOOK HAPPIER.
507
00:20:49,180 --> 00:20:50,647
WOW, WE'RE WINNERS.
508
00:20:50,714 --> 00:20:52,749
NO THANKS TO YOU, PANSY.
509
00:20:53,884 --> 00:20:55,151
I LOVE YOU, DAD.
510
00:21:04,195 --> 00:21:06,596
GEE, CHRIS,
CONGRATULATIONS.
511
00:21:06,664 --> 00:21:08,565
I GUESS I WAS WRONG.
512
00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:10,534
YOU REALLY ARE SOMEONE
TO LOOK UP TO.
513
00:21:10,601 --> 00:21:12,436
UH, DUH.
514
00:21:12,504 --> 00:21:14,638
AND YOU'VE TAUGHT US
A LESSON ABOUT YOURSELF
515
00:21:14,705 --> 00:21:15,865
AND ABOUT OLD PEOPLE.
516
00:21:15,873 --> 00:21:17,941
HOW THEY SHOULD BE RESPECTED,
517
00:21:18,009 --> 00:21:20,410
AND, UH, EVEN FEARED.
518
00:21:22,079 --> 00:21:24,047
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY,
519
00:21:24,114 --> 00:21:26,115
THAT THEY HAVE
A VALUE IN SOCIETY.
520
00:21:26,183 --> 00:21:27,717
OH, THAT'S SWEET.
521
00:21:27,785 --> 00:21:30,086
WOULD YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS
LIKE SOME CHICKEN, CHRIS?
522
00:21:30,154 --> 00:21:31,621
WHO'S THE OLD HAG?
523
00:21:32,990 --> 00:21:34,624
NO, I'M JUST KIDDING.
524
00:21:34,692 --> 00:21:37,027
WE REALLY DID LEARN
A MEANINGFUL LESSON TODAY.
525
00:21:37,128 --> 00:21:39,329
ALL RIGHT, YOU LITTLE TWERPS.
GET OUT OF HERE.
526
00:21:39,397 --> 00:21:41,238
I'LL SEE YOU
BRIGHT AND EARLY MONDAY.
527
00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:46,703
BOY, DAD, YOU REALLY
MADE ME PROUD THAT
YOU'RE MY FATHER TODAY.
528
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,071
YEAH, IT WAS GREAT.
529
00:21:48,139 --> 00:21:50,407
I... I JUST WISH THEY HADN'T
STOPPED ME BEFORE
530
00:21:50,474 --> 00:21:52,842
I COULD PULVERIZE THOSE WIMPS
IN THE 2ND ROW.
531
00:21:54,278 --> 00:21:56,713
BOY, WHAT A GREAT DAY
TO BE A PETERSON.
532
00:21:56,781 --> 00:21:58,148
OH.
533
00:21:58,215 --> 00:21:59,816
YOU KNOW, I WANT
TO THANK YOU, DAD.
534
00:21:59,883 --> 00:22:01,718
BUT I'M NOT SURE
I KNOW HOW.
535
00:22:01,785 --> 00:22:03,153
OH, WAIT A SECOND,
536
00:22:03,221 --> 00:22:04,955
I THINK I KNOW HOW.
537
00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:10,260
� AND THE CAT'S
IN THE CRADLE �
538
00:22:10,328 --> 00:22:13,029
� AND THE SILVER SPOON
539
00:22:13,097 --> 00:22:16,867
� LITTLE BOY BLUE
AND THE MAN IN THE MOON �
540
00:22:16,934 --> 00:22:20,937
� WHEN YOU COMIN' HOME, DAD,
I DON'T KNOW WHEN �
541
00:22:21,005 --> 00:22:23,674
� BUT WE'LL
GET TOGETHER THEN �
542
00:22:23,741 --> 00:22:26,710
� DAD, WE'RE GONNA
HAVE A GOOD TIME THEN �38866
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