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1
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:19,501
Come on, come on, stupid neck.
2
00:00:20,424 --> 00:00:22,746
After all the food I put down you.
3
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:29,862
Mmm. Button.
4
00:00:31,874 --> 00:00:34,033
Homie! What's going on?
5
00:00:36,428 --> 00:00:37,536
Knee?
6
00:00:37,763 --> 00:00:38,786
HAIM?
7
00:00:38,855 --> 00:00:39,880
Lick?
8
00:00:40,366 --> 00:00:42,249
"Need Heimlich!"
9
00:00:46,863 --> 00:00:48,392
Well played, Marge.
10
00:00:48,427 --> 00:00:49,627
For God's sakes,
11
00:00:49,662 --> 00:00:52,109
why don't you just buy
a shirt with a bigger neck?
12
00:00:52,278 --> 00:00:54,887
Neck shaming, Marge. Neck shaming.
13
00:00:54,963 --> 00:00:56,371
That's not a thing.
14
00:00:56,465 --> 00:00:58,465
Who made you president of things?
15
00:00:58,542 --> 00:01:00,425
Quit your bickering. We'll be late.
16
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:04,288
Dad, we were saving that
suit for you to be buried in.
17
00:01:04,290 --> 00:01:06,231
This isn't my funeral?
18
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,524
Oh.
19
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,992
Mm...
20
00:01:19,138 --> 00:01:20,662
Hey, hey!
21
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:27,978
It's the 35th Annual Springie Awards,
22
00:01:28,071 --> 00:01:29,980
honoring our town's finest.
23
00:01:30,149 --> 00:01:33,074
And here's Ms. Hoover.
Who are you wearing?
24
00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:36,336
Same thing I always wear.
I can only afford one dress.
25
00:01:36,413 --> 00:01:40,582
Ah, teachers.
We can never repay you for all you do.
26
00:01:40,659 --> 00:01:42,175
So, we won't.
27
00:01:42,552 --> 00:01:45,295
Rainier Wolfcastle. What are you up for?
28
00:01:45,388 --> 00:01:46,980
I am a presenter.
29
00:01:47,056 --> 00:01:49,223
I'll be back...
30
00:01:49,301 --> 00:01:50,516
stage in the green room,
31
00:01:50,594 --> 00:01:53,227
gobbling up the caprese panini.
32
00:01:54,806 --> 00:01:56,915
And now please welcome
33
00:01:57,142 --> 00:01:58,583
your host for this evening.
34
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,310
He's charming, he's svelte,
35
00:02:00,403 --> 00:02:01,995
he's got beer on his belt,
36
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,480
Duffman!
37
00:02:03,573 --> 00:02:07,408
Oh, yeah! This shamelessly
self-indulgent awards show
38
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:10,503
is brought to you by Duff Lite.
39
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,413
Some right-wing groups
have accused our beer
40
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:14,415
of being "too woke."
41
00:02:14,493 --> 00:02:17,343
Let me say the only thing
our beer stands for
42
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,696
is getting drunk, getting fat,
43
00:02:19,698 --> 00:02:22,774
and buying more till you pass out.
44
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,851
God bless America!
45
00:02:24,928 --> 00:02:26,093
Can I still say that?
46
00:02:26,262 --> 00:02:27,504
Oh, yeah!
47
00:02:27,597 --> 00:02:29,856
So, if you have a chance,
take your family
48
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:33,026
to the fabulous new
Springfield Academy Museum.
49
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,603
Closed Mondays, Tuesdays,
Wednesdays and Fridays.
50
00:02:35,772 --> 00:02:39,106
Admission is free,
but parking is extremely expensive.
51
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,295
And now I'm afraid we must apologize
52
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:46,206
for an earlier "In Memoriam" tribute
53
00:02:46,282 --> 00:02:48,300
to the person we said was dead
54
00:02:48,527 --> 00:02:50,360
but was actually alive...
55
00:02:50,529 --> 00:02:52,954
who now is actually dead.
56
00:02:53,122 --> 00:02:55,140
It is... our bad!
57
00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:57,867
But I'm alive.
58
00:02:57,961 --> 00:02:59,460
Oh...
59
00:02:59,629 --> 00:03:02,222
And now, Springfield's Nicest Person.
60
00:03:02,298 --> 00:03:04,224
Here's a surprise. Not!
61
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:06,726
The winner is Ned Flanders!
62
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,823
I really don't deserve this. I don't.
63
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,159
I mean, what do I do
that any good man wouldn't?
64
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,386
I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy.
65
00:03:16,388 --> 00:03:19,389
Thank you for playing me off.
Just what I deserve.
66
00:03:19,558 --> 00:03:20,815
Oh, yeah!
67
00:03:20,984 --> 00:03:22,392
Oh, skunked again.
68
00:03:22,394 --> 00:03:25,921
I can't believe Maggie lost
for "Best Silent Baby."
69
00:03:28,825 --> 00:03:32,177
And now the award for Best
Sailboat Painting goes to...
70
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,087
Sideshow Mel!
71
00:03:36,666 --> 00:03:39,409
They have the same painting as us.
72
00:03:39,411 --> 00:03:41,244
But yours is askew.
73
00:03:41,337 --> 00:03:43,337
Askew, I say.
74
00:03:43,415 --> 00:03:45,582
Will this show never end?
75
00:03:45,675 --> 00:03:47,767
Enough!
76
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,419
And finally, the award
77
00:03:49,512 --> 00:03:53,031
for our town's Most
Underappreciated Person...
78
00:03:55,018 --> 00:03:56,259
...who is so modest
79
00:03:56,428 --> 00:03:57,761
they have no idea
80
00:03:57,763 --> 00:04:00,872
their name is about to be called.
81
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,282
The winner is...
82
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,358
Marge Simpson!
83
00:04:04,527 --> 00:04:06,119
- Wha?!
- Way to go, Mom. -
84
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,195
Yay, Mom!
85
00:04:08,364 --> 00:04:10,882
Marge! Marge! Marge!
86
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:17,556
Oh, just a dream.
87
00:04:17,783 --> 00:04:20,300
But I can still enjoy
it one minute more.
88
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,118
Bart's kicking my ribs!
89
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,544
Lisa's ribs are poking my foot.
90
00:04:23,699 --> 00:04:25,972
Marge, I'm gonna sing
in the shower and I need backup.
91
00:04:26,316 --> 00:04:28,733
All right, all right, I'm getting up.
92
00:04:30,962 --> 00:04:33,479
I'll just say this.
Even when you visit me,
93
00:04:33,556 --> 00:04:35,982
it's worse than when you don't visit me.
94
00:04:36,351 --> 00:04:40,169
I'm sorry to say your dog
is getting along in years.
95
00:04:40,171 --> 00:04:43,356
I'm afraid he's developed Dogzheimer's.
96
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,949
Dogzheimer's?
97
00:04:45,026 --> 00:04:46,433
Oh, I've heard of that.
98
00:04:46,528 --> 00:04:49,178
Not as bad as Cowheimer's, but...
99
00:04:49,272 --> 00:04:50,863
What were talking about again?
100
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,443
Oh, I totally agree.
101
00:05:01,359 --> 00:05:03,418
I can put either of them down.
102
00:05:03,453 --> 00:05:04,844
What the...
103
00:05:06,122 --> 00:05:08,640
Look, Ma!
I broke both my middle fingers.
104
00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:10,733
Ew, ew, ew! That is so gross
105
00:05:10,793 --> 00:05:13,961
I can't even enjoy that it's you. Ugh!
106
00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:17,557
Homie. I need help! Where are you?
107
00:05:19,502 --> 00:05:20,835
- _
- Hmm.
108
00:05:24,382 --> 00:05:25,715
Nothin' gets through. Only thing
109
00:05:25,717 --> 00:05:27,492
I want going in their brains is booze.
110
00:05:32,356 --> 00:05:33,832
Mm...
111
00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:37,535
So, who won?
112
00:05:37,562 --> 00:05:39,754
Me, 'cause I wasn't playing.
113
00:05:46,254 --> 00:05:48,938
Oh, my God. Marge has been
trying to reach me all day.
114
00:05:48,998 --> 00:05:50,998
Aah! My father's in the hospital.
115
00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:52,684
As a patient!
116
00:05:53,578 --> 00:05:54,594
Mm...
117
00:05:54,762 --> 00:05:56,262
Mm?
118
00:05:56,431 --> 00:05:59,691
- Marge...
- Not a word.
119
00:06:01,936 --> 00:06:05,512
Can you fix these? My ass hangs out.
120
00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:06,589
Give 'em to me.
121
00:06:06,591 --> 00:06:09,275
Where all problems end up.
122
00:06:10,778 --> 00:06:13,872
We now return to Trash for Cash.
123
00:06:13,948 --> 00:06:17,858
This seemingly average weather
vane was originally made...
124
00:06:18,027 --> 00:06:19,193
in France.
125
00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:22,213
Makes sense. I bought it in "Jivernay."
126
00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:24,198
Yes. I'd say the value is,
127
00:06:24,292 --> 00:06:27,701
at the very least, $5,000.
128
00:06:27,795 --> 00:06:31,447
We'll be able to cover the
whole back 40 in insecticide.
129
00:06:32,151 --> 00:06:34,726
When will I get my insecticide?
130
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,286
My late husband owned these pants.
131
00:06:37,288 --> 00:06:39,288
He was a rather large man.
132
00:06:39,290 --> 00:06:40,398
Don't much miss him.
133
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,459
The key to the value of these jeans
134
00:06:43,628 --> 00:06:45,719
is that both E's
135
00:06:45,797 --> 00:06:48,464
in "Leevi's" are capitalized.
136
00:06:48,466 --> 00:06:49,649
Ooh!
137
00:06:49,817 --> 00:06:51,968
Also very good for you,
138
00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:54,746
these pants have hidden rivets.
139
00:06:55,431 --> 00:06:56,489
Hm!
140
00:06:56,565 --> 00:06:59,308
Which were used before 1967
141
00:06:59,477 --> 00:07:03,087
when open rivets were considered vulgar.
142
00:07:04,315 --> 00:07:05,356
Does it matter that these
143
00:07:05,483 --> 00:07:06,999
were frequently worn?
144
00:07:07,076 --> 00:07:08,834
Including, sometimes, in bed?
145
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,412
Ugh. I never visit his grave.
146
00:07:11,489 --> 00:07:12,989
Actually, with jeans,
147
00:07:13,158 --> 00:07:17,018
a highly distressed seat
can increase the value.
148
00:07:18,087 --> 00:07:21,013
I'd say the minimum possible value
149
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,499
for these pants is...
150
00:07:23,668 --> 00:07:24,758
- Oh...
- Uh-huh? Uh-huh?
151
00:07:24,852 --> 00:07:27,737
$2,600.
152
00:07:29,932 --> 00:07:32,858
Having a husband finally paid off.
153
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,355
Uh, Homer?
154
00:07:46,449 --> 00:07:47,948
I couldn't fix your pants.
155
00:07:48,042 --> 00:07:49,692
You'll have to wear something else.
156
00:07:49,861 --> 00:07:50,951
Can I wear my Speedo to work?
157
00:07:51,045 --> 00:07:54,380
I'm afraid not, but we'll be fine.
158
00:07:54,549 --> 00:07:57,383
- Mm.
- Aw. I make her happy.
159
00:07:57,460 --> 00:07:59,978
Oh, you got a loose hair. Fixed it.
160
00:08:03,762 --> 00:08:06,209
♪ Leevi's, Leevi's ♪
161
00:08:06,299 --> 00:08:09,112
♪ Make me money ♪
162
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:15,718
♪ They're worth a lot, they say ♪
163
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,979
♪ And I shall wear sweatpants ♪
164
00:08:19,148 --> 00:08:21,815
♪ And I shall stretch
the waistband ♪
165
00:08:22,599 --> 00:08:25,911
♪ And I shall wear sweatpants ♪
166
00:08:25,988 --> 00:08:29,507
♪ Covering my gorgeous can ♪
167
00:08:31,736 --> 00:08:33,753
Mornin', Jerry.
168
00:08:33,829 --> 00:08:36,830
♪ And they shall be Leevi's ♪
169
00:08:36,924 --> 00:08:40,351
♪ And I shall wear sweatpants ♪
170
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,670
♪ And they shall be Leevi's ♪
171
00:08:43,839 --> 00:08:46,932
♪ Sweatpants for the husky man ♪
172
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,526
♪ Oh, oh ♪
173
00:08:48,753 --> 00:08:51,529
♪ They shall be ♪
174
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,240
- ♪ Leevi's. ♪
- ♪ Sweatpants. ♪
175
00:09:00,098 --> 00:09:01,998
Mm...
176
00:09:07,696 --> 00:09:10,439
- Yes, may I help you?
- Comic Book Guy?
177
00:09:10,441 --> 00:09:12,032
No. I am his cousin,
178
00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:14,034
Collectible Pants Dude
179
00:09:14,128 --> 00:09:16,054
or CPD, whatever.
180
00:09:16,281 --> 00:09:19,298
I see. Well, I, uh, may be interested
181
00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,225
in selling this vintage item.
182
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:25,229
Huh, I say. I will give you, eh...
183
00:09:25,306 --> 00:09:26,555
twenty dollars.
184
00:09:26,624 --> 00:09:28,457
Not so fast, bub.
185
00:09:28,551 --> 00:09:31,552
I happen to know these are 501-XX
186
00:09:31,629 --> 00:09:34,964
big double-E jeans with hidden rivets.
187
00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:37,149
Zoinks! I see you know pants.
188
00:09:37,226 --> 00:09:39,302
In that case, my offer is...
189
00:09:39,470 --> 00:09:40,561
twenty-two dollars.
190
00:09:40,729 --> 00:09:44,156
I saw a pair on eBay for $3,000.
191
00:09:44,233 --> 00:09:46,158
Oh... Uh...
192
00:09:46,235 --> 00:09:49,754
Fine! You have me, madam.
Because I must have them.
193
00:09:49,831 --> 00:09:52,590
I've never seen such a
perfectly distressed rear.
194
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,167
I mean, these pants
have experienced thousands...
195
00:09:55,244 --> 00:09:58,504
I say thousands...
of pounds of butt pressure.
196
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,656
Yes, he's got a big keister.
197
00:10:00,749 --> 00:10:02,600
Are we gonna deal or what?
198
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,828
Sorry. Collectible clothes
are my one addiction.
199
00:10:05,830 --> 00:10:08,922
Also cannabis gummies and
the films of Kenneth Anger.
200
00:10:09,016 --> 00:10:10,025
But I digress.
201
00:10:10,092 --> 00:10:13,836
My offer is $2,595.
202
00:10:13,929 --> 00:10:14,970
Okay?
203
00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:17,894
- Hm...
- I see you hesitate.
204
00:10:17,929 --> 00:10:21,119
Well, let me zip up this deal
and button its fly, okay?
205
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,210
Um, let me think just a little bit more.
206
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,872
You've already put
the money in your bag.
207
00:10:33,394 --> 00:10:36,025
Oh. So I have. Mm.
208
00:10:36,933 --> 00:10:37,993
Deal.
209
00:10:38,713 --> 00:10:41,317
- Mm!
- Oh, my God.
210
00:10:41,352 --> 00:10:42,548
There are so many things I could do
211
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:45,636
for my family's future with this money.
212
00:10:45,671 --> 00:10:48,387
Mom, the money you gave me
paid for a week of college.
213
00:10:48,464 --> 00:10:49,588
Next.
214
00:10:49,666 --> 00:10:52,483
You used the money for a neck tattoo?
215
00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:54,318
Not just the neck.
216
00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:56,737
Next.
217
00:10:56,738 --> 00:10:58,534
_
218
00:11:02,553 --> 00:11:04,720
Oppenheimer. Oppenheimer!
219
00:11:04,889 --> 00:11:07,790
I am so sick of hearing about that jerk.
220
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:11,217
"Wah, I built a bomb then I
was sad when they dropped it."
221
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,054
Boo-hoo. Aren't you sick
of Oppenheimer, Smithers?
222
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:17,132
Actually, sir, I preferred
another movie last summer.
223
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:19,559
Another movie? Besides Oppenheimer?
224
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,403
- That's right.
- There was a second movie
225
00:11:21,462 --> 00:11:22,471
people were seeing?
226
00:11:22,489 --> 00:11:24,156
Yes, there was. A global phenomenon.
227
00:11:24,232 --> 00:11:26,308
Really? Global, you say?
228
00:11:26,401 --> 00:11:28,660
And it finally gave me the courage
229
00:11:28,829 --> 00:11:30,646
to do this.
230
00:11:31,245 --> 00:11:33,757
Mm, well, you seem
to be bleeding from the head.
231
00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:36,427
- It's dye.
- Die on your own time.
232
00:11:36,503 --> 00:11:39,263
Now, regarding Oppenheimer, follow me.
233
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,086
Have you fellows heard of
"Tickling the Dragon's Tail"?
234
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,088
Sounds like a DreamWorks film.
235
00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:49,189
Well, it's not.
236
00:11:49,257 --> 00:11:50,999
We carefully add small amounts
237
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:52,610
of fissionable uranium,
238
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,187
stopping just before critical mass.
239
00:11:55,263 --> 00:11:58,282
We can create the most
profitable atomic pile of all.
240
00:11:58,359 --> 00:12:01,578
Oppenheimer tried it at
Los Alamos but he failed.
241
00:12:01,613 --> 00:12:04,437
Idiot!
That showboat slides his boney self
242
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:05,697
into every picture.
243
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:07,850
Should have called
him Photo-Oppenheimer.
244
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,685
My biopic will be longer,
245
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,036
its star skinnier,
246
00:12:11,205 --> 00:12:13,856
and global annihilation
will not be hinted at,
247
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,916
but rather the heartwarming climax.
248
00:12:15,992 --> 00:12:18,510
Excellent.
249
00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:22,865
Of, uh, course, sir,
250
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,624
if you exceed the critical mass,
251
00:12:24,718 --> 00:12:26,869
it, uh, would lead to an
uncontrolled nuclear explo...
252
00:12:30,724 --> 00:12:32,391
The plant's gonna blow!
253
00:12:32,467 --> 00:12:33,484
Alarmist.
254
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:37,529
My suit's... too bulky!
255
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,160
Did you see that, Smithers?
256
00:12:43,237 --> 00:12:46,071
That sweat-panted
Superman rescued us all.
257
00:12:46,148 --> 00:12:48,481
Well, I just put my sweatpants on
258
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,560
one leg at a time like any fat guy.
259
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,653
Well, you saved my life.
260
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,172
So I'm giving you two tickets,
261
00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:57,916
front row seats, to a baseball game.
262
00:12:57,993 --> 00:12:59,635
Debt paid. Never talk to me again.
263
00:13:01,605 --> 00:13:02,837
Hmm.
264
00:13:02,839 --> 00:13:04,573
I thought I'd enjoy this money,
265
00:13:04,666 --> 00:13:07,333
but I'm not happy.
266
00:13:07,502 --> 00:13:09,578
I sure don't envy you, lady.
267
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:12,247
When life gives you lemons,
make lemonade.
268
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,841
Add vodka, and meet me down here.
269
00:13:14,935 --> 00:13:17,111
- Oh.
- Mm...
270
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,308
Reverend, what does our faith say
271
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:24,243
about spending money on
something just for yourself?
272
00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:28,096
Well, I sure don't know.
But for 20 bucks
273
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:30,782
I'll wipe the communion cup
before you drink from it.
274
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,126
Eh?
275
00:13:35,697 --> 00:13:37,864
Oh...
276
00:13:37,958 --> 00:13:40,200
Homer, after a lot of soul searching,
277
00:13:40,368 --> 00:13:42,553
there's something I've got to tell you.
278
00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:47,282
Are you at a baseball game?
279
00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:48,875
I am. It's so great.
280
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,470
We got to meet the players,
play "Chopsticks" on the organ,
281
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:55,215
and they hit a foul ball
to you on purpose.
282
00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:01,646
Are you there alone?
283
00:14:01,815 --> 00:14:03,632
Well, I asked Lenny, but he was busy.
284
00:14:03,725 --> 00:14:05,133
Carl was out sick.
285
00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:06,802
Smitty was taking or teaching
286
00:14:06,895 --> 00:14:08,746
a Pilates class, I forget which.
287
00:14:08,822 --> 00:14:10,973
So I finally asked that
new guy from Ghana.
288
00:14:11,066 --> 00:14:13,566
I have so many questions
about your baseball.
289
00:14:13,660 --> 00:14:15,327
First, why?
290
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:17,662
Homer, how come you didn't ask me?
291
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:20,240
Uh, well, you don't like baseball.
292
00:14:20,334 --> 00:14:22,408
Maybe, but more importantly,
293
00:14:22,577 --> 00:14:24,169
I like being asked.
294
00:14:24,246 --> 00:14:26,579
Oh, my God, oh, my God, uh,
can I get you a jersey?
295
00:14:26,673 --> 00:14:28,081
Uh, what's your size again?
296
00:14:28,175 --> 00:14:30,342
Medium! It's always been medium.
297
00:14:30,418 --> 00:14:33,086
Um, that's something
I should have known, right?
298
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:36,273
Buster, you should know whether
or not you should've known it.
299
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:39,001
But thanks for clearing
things up for me.
300
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,927
You're welcome. Do I get another kiss?
301
00:14:41,096 --> 00:14:43,021
Oh, you'll get a kiss, all right.
302
00:14:43,098 --> 00:14:44,597
You're gonna get a big kiss.
303
00:14:44,691 --> 00:14:46,842
You just wait for that kiss.
304
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,844
If you come here,
we can get it on the kiss cam.
305
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,696
Dial tone? Hello?
306
00:14:51,865 --> 00:14:53,532
Marge? Marge?
307
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,626
Hello? Dial tone?
308
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:57,202
Now I have to kiss him?
309
00:14:57,296 --> 00:15:00,446
Well, if it's all part of baseball.
Mwah.
310
00:15:04,786 --> 00:15:07,996
I want the biggest ring I can buy!
311
00:15:08,123 --> 00:15:09,956
Ooh! That's a coincidence.
312
00:15:10,050 --> 00:15:13,293
I want you to have the
biggest ring I can sell.
313
00:15:13,387 --> 00:15:14,520
Yes!
314
00:15:17,534 --> 00:15:21,026
Now, the current rule of thumb
is a truly meaningful ring
315
00:15:21,034 --> 00:15:23,153
should cost three months' salary.
316
00:15:23,230 --> 00:15:25,656
If I don't have a salary, is it free?
317
00:15:25,732 --> 00:15:26,735
No.
318
00:15:26,808 --> 00:15:27,899
Nice try.
319
00:15:28,068 --> 00:15:30,661
Now, if for some reason
I want to return this?
320
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,220
Ooh, no problem.
321
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:35,668
You have a full three
seconds to change your mind.
322
00:15:35,703 --> 00:15:37,376
Starting now.
323
00:15:40,414 --> 00:15:42,322
Time's up.
324
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:44,566
Oh...
325
00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:46,176
Oh, my God.
326
00:15:46,253 --> 00:15:48,236
I didn't know I'd feel
so guilty walking around
327
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:50,389
wearing something so expensive.
328
00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:52,665
Calm down, Marge, calm down.
329
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:54,017
Nobody cares.
330
00:15:54,094 --> 00:15:55,835
Marge, I was a couple blocks away
331
00:15:55,929 --> 00:15:57,503
and I couldn't help noticing you wearing
332
00:15:57,598 --> 00:16:00,190
something your husband
couldn't possibly afford.
333
00:16:00,217 --> 00:16:01,231
Tattletale!
334
00:16:01,645 --> 00:16:02,767
Casual Christian.
335
00:16:02,844 --> 00:16:04,677
Remember, sale's final.
336
00:16:07,107 --> 00:16:08,940
Okay, okay. Can't return it.
337
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,775
Might as well enjoy it.
338
00:16:13,391 --> 00:16:14,471
A guilt rash!
339
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,448
The last time I got one
of these was when I took
340
00:16:16,524 --> 00:16:18,950
that bottle of shampoo from the hotel.
341
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:21,962
It wasn't opened.
They could have reused it.
342
00:16:25,345 --> 00:16:26,884
I'll just leave it there.
343
00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:30,929
No, no, no. Someone will find it.
344
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,573
Mm...
345
00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:53,017
So this is what having
a secret feels like.
346
00:16:53,110 --> 00:16:54,702
It's terrible.
347
00:16:54,779 --> 00:16:56,688
Why does everybody do it?
348
00:16:56,690 --> 00:16:58,690
Maybe I could hide it in here.
349
00:16:58,783 --> 00:17:02,117
D'oh! How many places
does Homer hide cookies?
350
00:17:02,726 --> 00:17:03,938
D'oh!
351
00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:07,640
Whoa!
352
00:17:07,767 --> 00:17:09,517
Oh...
353
00:17:11,722 --> 00:17:12,822
_
354
00:17:12,872 --> 00:17:15,482
Ah, no one can find it now.
355
00:17:15,709 --> 00:17:16,875
Who are you talking to, Mom?
356
00:17:16,946 --> 00:17:19,377
Aah! What are you doing here?
357
00:17:19,379 --> 00:17:21,821
Oh, I like to look
at my old report cards.
358
00:17:21,948 --> 00:17:23,982
One teacher...
if you could believe it...
359
00:17:23,987 --> 00:17:26,551
gave me an A-plus-plus.
360
00:17:26,644 --> 00:17:28,644
They're not allowed to do that anymore.
361
00:17:28,813 --> 00:17:30,738
It makes the other kids feel bad.
362
00:17:30,815 --> 00:17:33,482
And that's why we're losing to China.
363
00:17:33,651 --> 00:17:35,393
- Yo.
- Aah!
364
00:17:35,395 --> 00:17:36,819
What are you doing in the attic?
365
00:17:36,913 --> 00:17:38,671
Well, one thing I'm definitely not doing
366
00:17:38,748 --> 00:17:40,265
is hiding from the cops.
367
00:17:40,358 --> 00:17:41,590
Eh, we'll never find him.
368
00:17:41,659 --> 00:17:43,635
Let's go, boys.
369
00:17:44,387 --> 00:17:46,087
- _
- No respect for the law.
370
00:17:46,181 --> 00:17:47,680
Let's get some donuts.
371
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:54,020
Get to bed, now!
372
00:17:55,743 --> 00:17:57,607
Now what?
373
00:17:59,728 --> 00:18:01,343
You're not judging me.
374
00:18:01,421 --> 00:18:03,012
With you, I can enjoy it.
375
00:18:03,106 --> 00:18:05,423
Don't swallow it.
376
00:18:06,212 --> 00:18:07,700
What's the matter, Homer?
377
00:18:07,927 --> 00:18:10,278
I'm starting to think I don't
appreciate Marge enough.
378
00:18:10,372 --> 00:18:13,631
She does everything for me
and I just take her for granted.
379
00:18:13,642 --> 00:18:15,875
Let me tell you something,
Homer, you are so lucky
380
00:18:15,902 --> 00:18:18,527
that she doesn't leave you
for the next tall, dark
381
00:18:18,605 --> 00:18:20,529
and handsome guy that comes along.
382
00:18:20,607 --> 00:18:23,532
Oh, Moe, I love...
383
00:18:23,610 --> 00:18:26,219
the way you introduced me to this guy.
384
00:18:26,446 --> 00:18:27,554
Woo-hoo!
385
00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:29,931
Homer, I think your problem is...
386
00:18:36,256 --> 00:18:38,213
♪ She's a mad wife ♪
387
00:18:38,382 --> 00:18:40,382
♪ Homer J ♪
388
00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:43,218
♪ With tears behind her smile... ♪
389
00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:44,478
Uh, happy tears?
390
00:18:44,647 --> 00:18:46,314
♪ You treat her like she's nothing ♪
391
00:18:46,390 --> 00:18:49,133
♪ Unless your gut
needs stuffing... ♪
392
00:18:49,135 --> 00:18:50,577
What the...
393
00:18:50,604 --> 00:18:53,137
♪ As a husband, I would rate you ♪
394
00:18:53,230 --> 00:18:55,898
♪ Beneath Henry VIII you ♪
395
00:18:55,975 --> 00:19:00,044
♪ Really are a selfish guy... ♪
396
00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:08,428
♪ You really are,
all things considered ♪
397
00:19:18,164 --> 00:19:19,439
Haw-haw!
398
00:19:19,566 --> 00:19:22,424
Before you, I rode through dog poop!
399
00:19:23,837 --> 00:19:26,520
I'll just have to live
with my selfishness.
400
00:19:26,689 --> 00:19:28,656
Oh.
401
00:19:33,346 --> 00:19:34,454
What is this?
402
00:19:34,530 --> 00:19:36,514
A fancy ring?!
403
00:19:36,683 --> 00:19:38,774
That Marge bought for herself?!
404
00:19:38,852 --> 00:19:41,294
She's been holding back
on us this whole time.
405
00:19:41,321 --> 00:19:44,547
Oh, my God, the things she does.
406
00:19:46,793 --> 00:19:49,677
The things she does.
407
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:56,434
The things she does.
408
00:19:57,646 --> 00:19:58,646
Aw.
409
00:19:58,705 --> 00:20:01,038
The things she does.
410
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,542
All the wonderful things she does.
411
00:20:04,635 --> 00:20:07,654
Putting those sweet notes
in my lunch every day.
412
00:20:07,822 --> 00:20:09,489
Getting everyone a birthday present
413
00:20:09,716 --> 00:20:12,066
and saying they're from both of us.
414
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,551
Even in her sleep,
415
00:20:13,644 --> 00:20:15,219
she's perfect.
416
00:20:15,312 --> 00:20:18,760
With all the wonderful,
beautiful things Marge does,
417
00:20:18,795 --> 00:20:22,043
there's only one thing
I can do with this ring.
418
00:20:24,166 --> 00:20:26,180
Homie, you're back. You...
419
00:20:26,249 --> 00:20:28,007
You put this on me?
420
00:20:28,084 --> 00:20:31,068
Baby, I just wish I'd bought it for you.
421
00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:47,601
Ah, finally, no guilt.
422
00:20:47,656 --> 00:20:48,662
Breaking news.
423
00:20:48,697 --> 00:20:50,104
Amnesty International has identified
424
00:20:50,273 --> 00:20:54,258
the Spiffany Blue diamond as
the most unethically mined gem
425
00:20:54,260 --> 00:20:55,443
in human history.
426
00:20:55,519 --> 00:20:57,870
It takes six blue whales
to color each carat.
427
00:20:57,947 --> 00:21:00,281
Wearing this is a sparkly expression
428
00:21:00,450 --> 00:21:02,542
that you love misery.
429
00:21:02,711 --> 00:21:06,528
Well, I'll just wear
the ring inside for a little.
430
00:21:06,606 --> 00:21:09,457
♪ Homer's Leevi's size ♪
431
00:21:09,551 --> 00:21:11,968
♪ Is Husky ♪
432
00:21:14,414 --> 00:21:17,439
♪ But he's still too fat, they say ♪
433
00:21:17,507 --> 00:21:18,516
Hey!
434
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:19,467
♪ That's because ♪
435
00:21:19,543 --> 00:21:21,728
♪ He's a fat man ♪
436
00:21:21,955 --> 00:21:25,231
♪ They're making pants
too small these days ♪
437
00:21:25,308 --> 00:21:29,293
- ♪ New pants are too small. ♪
- ♪ You are a fat man. ♪
438
00:21:30,071 --> 00:21:31,120
Shh!
439
00:21:34,032 --> 00:21:36,967
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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