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1
00:00:04,230 --> 00:00:05,520
Dad!
2
00:00:06,610 --> 00:00:08,020
Yeah.
3
00:00:08,770 --> 00:00:12,450
Who has two thumbs
and just got her learner's permit?
4
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:13,530
This guy.
5
00:00:13,610 --> 00:00:15,450
Oh!
6
00:00:15,530 --> 00:00:17,660
Oh! Katie...
7
00:00:17,740 --> 00:00:19,120
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
8
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:23,040
That's right. She passed her written test
at the DMV and can now practice driving.
9
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,290
The citizens of Pittsburgh
are trembling in fear.
10
00:00:27,170 --> 00:00:29,590
-They should be. I barely passed.
-Ah.
11
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:31,590
This is gonna be so great.
12
00:00:31,670 --> 00:00:33,920
Once she gets her license,
she can run errands,
13
00:00:34,010 --> 00:00:35,680
and pick up dinner and-- [gasps]
14
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,600
I'm gonna delete Postmates
because we made our own. Huh.
15
00:00:40,510 --> 00:00:41,680
She's a Postkate.
16
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,690
Well, hold on, hold on.
You forgot the best part.
17
00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:48,480
Not only can she drive our food,
she can drive our other kids.
18
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,020
[Andi gasps]
19
00:00:50,110 --> 00:00:53,030
Yeah, your days
of running them around town are over.
20
00:00:53,110 --> 00:00:55,240
If this works, I say we have more kids.
21
00:00:57,030 --> 00:00:59,490
Hold on.
I still have to pass my road test.
22
00:00:59,580 --> 00:01:03,410
Not a problem.
We Burns have driving in our blood.
23
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:07,290
I have waited a long time for this, Katie.
Come on. Let's go have some fun.
24
00:01:10,210 --> 00:01:12,630
That was the worst hour of my life.
25
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:16,510
What happened to the mirror?
26
00:01:16,590 --> 00:01:19,220
I was looking for something to hold onto.
27
00:01:20,970 --> 00:01:22,430
She wasn't using it anyway.
28
00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:26,390
[theme music playing]
29
00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:34,280
When you invited us over
to watch the game,
30
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,450
I assumed we'd be doing it
in your living room.
31
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,780
Or at least a place with less spiders. Ah!
32
00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:42,950
We're out here because I'm dodging Andi.
33
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:46,370
She wants me to take Katie driving again,
and I need time to recuperate.
34
00:01:46,460 --> 00:01:49,540
My ankle still hurts
from stomping on the imaginary brake.
35
00:01:50,130 --> 00:01:52,340
I'm cool with hiding.
I need to lay low anyway.
36
00:01:52,420 --> 00:01:53,710
Marcy's mad at yours truly.
37
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,670
Is it because you refer to yourself
as "yours truly"?
38
00:01:57,590 --> 00:02:00,470
She says I've gotten complacent
and I don't romance her anymore.
39
00:02:00,550 --> 00:02:01,720
What does that even mean?
40
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,850
Maybe you've gotten complacent
and don't romance her anymore.
41
00:02:04,930 --> 00:02:07,430
Oh. You know, it makes sense
when a man says it.
42
00:02:08,980 --> 00:02:10,810
You know, when I really want
to romance a woman,
43
00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:14,650
I cook her a gourmet dinner
with my special handmade gnocchi. Mm.
44
00:02:14,730 --> 00:02:17,860
But Marcy cooks dinner.
If I cook it, there'll be two dinners.
45
00:02:17,950 --> 00:02:19,410
[Andi] Adam?
46
00:02:19,490 --> 00:02:20,870
Shh. Shh.
47
00:02:23,530 --> 00:02:25,410
-Are you hiding out here?
-What--
48
00:02:25,490 --> 00:02:27,620
Your daughter is waiting
for her driving lesson.
49
00:02:27,710 --> 00:02:30,120
I would love to take her,
but I have guests.
50
00:02:30,210 --> 00:02:31,580
Can we talk outside?
51
00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:32,710
Yeah, yeah.
52
00:02:33,540 --> 00:02:35,130
Why not let the neighbors hear it?
53
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,340
You said you wanted to teach Kate
how to drive,
54
00:02:39,430 --> 00:02:41,010
but now, you're just avoiding her.
55
00:02:41,090 --> 00:02:45,310
Hey, Andi! If Marcy asks,
you never saw me. Thanks, doll.
56
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:48,770
Katie is not ready, Andi.
57
00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:52,690
There was a left-hand turn where we went
all the way around in a circle.
58
00:02:52,770 --> 00:02:54,020
Like Mario Kart.
59
00:02:54,860 --> 00:02:58,650
That's why you're teaching her.
Look, Adam, I need Kate to drive.
60
00:02:58,740 --> 00:03:01,030
-[sighs]
-I just signed Teddy up for club soccer.
61
00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:03,620
It's an hour away. I can't do it.
62
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,620
-I'm sorry, but 16 is too young to drive.
-Oh.
63
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:10,080
Sixteen-year-olds can't vote,
they can't drink,
64
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,040
they can't see movies with boobs.
65
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,670
How does it make sense
that they can drive to a movie with boobs,
66
00:03:14,750 --> 00:03:16,840
but can't go in? [scoffs]
67
00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:21,050
Look, if you won't get behind the wheel
with Kate, I'll teach her.
68
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,010
I'm a better driver than you anyway.
69
00:03:23,090 --> 00:03:24,090
[gasps]
70
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:29,180
Now, Katie, I don't want what happened
last time to happen again.
71
00:03:29,270 --> 00:03:30,680
You mean all your yelling?
72
00:03:32,020 --> 00:03:34,940
I only yelled one time.
It just lasted the whole drive.
73
00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:39,360
Today, we're gonna try a point system.
You start with a hundred points.
74
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,490
If you do something wrong,
you lose points.
75
00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:44,740
When you get to zero, we are done driving
until the next day. Hmm?
76
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:48,990
-Sounds fair.
-Okay. Uhp-uhp, hold on, hold up, hold up.
77
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:50,160
Remember what I taught you?
78
00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:52,870
What's the first thing you do
before you start the vehicle?
79
00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:54,830
You check your...
80
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,750
-Text messages.
-[sighs]
81
00:03:57,380 --> 00:03:59,050
So you're not tempted
while you're driving.
82
00:03:59,130 --> 00:04:01,050
No, no, no. No, no texting.
83
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,090
Minus 20 points.
84
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,590
No, you check your mirrors.
85
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:07,550
-Got it.
-Mm.
86
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,430
[chuckles] Cute, cute.
87
00:04:10,470 --> 00:04:11,560
Cute.
88
00:04:12,390 --> 00:04:13,390
[Adam chuckles]
89
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:15,770
[muttering]
90
00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:17,770
Okay, uh, put your hands on the wheel.
91
00:04:18,940 --> 00:04:20,530
-[exhales]
-Both hands. You're not a pimp.
92
00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:23,070
[scoffs] That's how you do it.
93
00:04:23,150 --> 00:04:26,950
Minus 30 for being funny in the car.
This is a serious place.
94
00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:29,700
Now put your hands
at 10:00 and 2:00, like a clock.
95
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:32,540
No one uses clocks anymore.
What would it be on a phone?
96
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:35,870
Minus 50 for not understanding clocks.
You're out of points.
97
00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:38,920
[scoffs] We didn't even leave
the driveway.
98
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,130
Right. I'll text the neighbors
and let them know it's safe to go outside.
99
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:45,680
[sighs]
100
00:04:48,010 --> 00:04:49,600
So, I was just talking to Kate.
101
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,560
You guys have been driving
every day for two weeks
102
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,270
and she thinks she's ready
for her DMV road test.
103
00:04:54,350 --> 00:04:56,810
No, she's not ready. I told you.
104
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:59,860
Yesterday, she got out of the car
before she put it in park.
105
00:04:59,940 --> 00:05:02,030
I had to Fred Flintstone it to a stop.
106
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,200
Just take her to the test. I don't want
to go back in the garage with the spiders.
107
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,570
I squashed one
and the others are out for revenge.
108
00:05:08,660 --> 00:05:10,240
They saw me kill their friend.
109
00:05:11,290 --> 00:05:14,370
I love Katie, but I don't think
she'll ever be a good driver.
110
00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:19,170
You promised me that my days
of running the kids around town were over.
111
00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:22,460
But here I am,
going to pick up Teddy at soccer,
112
00:05:22,550 --> 00:05:24,300
which is basically in Canada.
113
00:05:25,970 --> 00:05:27,220
Book the test.
114
00:05:28,180 --> 00:05:30,600
[sighs] What am I gonna do?
115
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:34,060
I don't think Katie will pass,
but I'm tired of being the bad guy.
116
00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:38,150
So let the DMV be the bad guy.
If she's not ready, no license.
117
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:42,190
I like it. The state of Pennsylvania
will do my dirty work for me.
118
00:05:42,270 --> 00:05:44,190
[chuckles] This is why I pay taxes.
119
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:47,820
Well, I was going to suggest
telling Kate honestly how you feel,
120
00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:49,780
but I forgot I was with this family.
121
00:05:52,370 --> 00:05:54,330
The game started an hour ago.
Where you been?
122
00:05:54,910 --> 00:05:56,000
Getting yelled at by Marcy.
123
00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:57,500
She's still mad at you?
124
00:05:57,580 --> 00:06:01,000
No, she's mad at me again.
I didn't pick her up from exercise class.
125
00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:03,050
You forgot to pick up your own wife?
126
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:04,880
I didn't forget.
127
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,970
It was raining,
and I had just gotten the car washed.
128
00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:09,340
Oh, Donald.
129
00:06:10,510 --> 00:06:12,100
And now she says
I'm cut off in the bedroom
130
00:06:12,180 --> 00:06:14,430
until I learn how to be more
romantic and thoughtful.
131
00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:16,520
So you'll never have sex again.
132
00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:18,560
Can't say I'm gonna miss the stories.
133
00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:21,610
Maybe there's a way to fix this.
134
00:06:21,690 --> 00:06:24,020
Lowell, show me how to make
your magic nookie dinner.
135
00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:26,360
It's pronounced "gnocchi."
136
00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:28,900
I'm not hearing the difference.
137
00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,740
Hi. Uh, my daughter's here
to take her road test.
138
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,080
Here's my ID.
139
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,120
Adam Burns, parent/legal guardian.
140
00:06:40,210 --> 00:06:41,790
[chuckles]
141
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:46,050
Arthur, DMV clerk/hedge fund playboy.
142
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:51,970
Everything's in order.
143
00:06:52,050 --> 00:06:55,060
Take these forms to window 12
for your road test.
144
00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:56,350
Thanks.
145
00:06:57,220 --> 00:06:58,230
I'm kind of nervous.
146
00:06:58,310 --> 00:07:00,230
Well, I'm sure you'll do great, honey.
147
00:07:01,150 --> 00:07:03,690
And if you don't, that's the state
of Pennsylvania talking. Not me.
148
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,230
Okay? All right, now go get 'em. Come on.
149
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:11,740
-Uh--
-Whoopsie-doodle.
150
00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:14,780
I'm afraid your license
expired three months ago.
151
00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:19,040
What? Okay, uh, so how do I fix that?
I sign a form or...
152
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,620
Since you let it expire,
153
00:07:21,710 --> 00:07:24,540
you have to take the written test
before it can be renewed.
154
00:07:24,630 --> 00:07:26,170
-[sighs]
-Here's your number.
155
00:07:26,250 --> 00:07:27,840
Wait to be called. Next!
156
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,670
Uh, uh, hold on, hold on.
157
00:07:30,340 --> 00:07:33,970
So, if I had caught this before it
expired, I wouldn't have to take the test?
158
00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:35,800
Correct. Next.
159
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:37,510
Uh-- You stay.
160
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:40,980
Can't we just do something
with this license?
161
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,270
You know, like, slap a sticker on it or...
162
00:07:43,350 --> 00:07:45,900
Actually, yes,
there is something we can do.
163
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:47,820
Thank you. [chuckles]
164
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,490
Ooh. What's that? Sticker machine?
165
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,650
[whirring]
166
00:08:03,710 --> 00:08:05,630
This is why
no one likes coming here, Arthur.
167
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,550
[automated voice] Now serving number 42.
168
00:08:12,630 --> 00:08:13,800
[scoffs] Finally.
169
00:08:23,350 --> 00:08:25,850
You made me wait a half an hour
just to talk to you again?
170
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,320
It's not a job if you love what you do.
171
00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:34,570
The written driver's test
is on the tablet.
172
00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:38,280
If you get three wrong, you fail
and have to wait a week to retake it.
173
00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:39,990
Not a problem.
174
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,080
When I get the high score,
can I put my initials in?
175
00:08:43,540 --> 00:08:44,870
No.
176
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,960
-That was a joke.
-No, it wasn't.
177
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,340
-I'm just gonna take the test now, Arthur.
-Mm-hmm.
178
00:08:51,420 --> 00:08:53,380
And, yes,
I will be taking the survey after.
179
00:08:56,510 --> 00:08:59,100
-Uh, B. Stop sign.
-[tablet chimes]
180
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,930
-Uh, C. No passing zone.
-[tablet chimes]
181
00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:06,730
-Uh, D. Emergency vehicles only.
-[tablet chimes]
182
00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:10,110
[chuckles] Chime city over here, Arthur.
183
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:14,860
I'm so good, I don't even have to look.
184
00:09:14,950 --> 00:09:15,950
[buzzer sounds]
185
00:09:19,070 --> 00:09:21,830
Okay, I got cocky. Let's focus.
[clears throat]
186
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:25,910
-[buzzer sounds]
-Uh...
187
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,420
Look, I meant to push B.
My fingers are swollen.
188
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:32,420
I'm retaining water
'cause I had a salty lunch.
189
00:09:33,550 --> 00:09:37,300
One more wrong answer and you fail.
No pressure.
190
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:51,900
"A white painted curb indicates:
A, passengers and mail only."
191
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,780
That's too specific. Eh...
192
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,860
"B, service dogs only."
193
00:09:57,820 --> 00:09:59,110
Nice try, Arthur.
194
00:10:00,490 --> 00:10:04,120
So, by process of elimination,
it's "C, freight only."
195
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,700
Uh, final answer.
196
00:10:05,790 --> 00:10:07,410
-[buzzer sounds]
-[automated voice] Fail.
197
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,120
Whoopsie-doodle.
198
00:10:11,540 --> 00:10:12,540
I passed! [laughs]
199
00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:18,680
Now we can both drive.
200
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:23,060
What happened?
201
00:10:23,930 --> 00:10:26,430
Your dad has a fun surprise for you.
202
00:10:31,020 --> 00:10:36,570
So Kate got her license
and you lost yours.
203
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,200
It isn't funny.
204
00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:45,160
I'm sorry. Can I get you a beer?
205
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,660
I would love one.
206
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:48,210
I'm gonna need to see some ID.
207
00:10:51,630 --> 00:10:53,590
-Where's Katie?
-Oh, she went for a drive.
208
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,960
You just let her leave
in the car by herself?
209
00:10:58,050 --> 00:11:00,930
Yes, she has a license.
210
00:11:01,930 --> 00:11:03,720
But we have no idea where she is.
211
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,180
What? Our daughter could be anywhere
in this city right now
212
00:11:07,270 --> 00:11:09,140
and you seem perfectly comfortable
with that.
213
00:11:09,230 --> 00:11:11,400
-Because I trust her.
-[groans]
214
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,900
And also because I put
a tracking app on her phone.
215
00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:18,860
See, look, she's fine.
She's at the Whitestone Overlook.
216
00:11:19,650 --> 00:11:21,110
That's make-out point!
217
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,120
Okay, Fonzie.
218
00:11:25,580 --> 00:11:27,040
People go up there for other reasons.
219
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,830
Yeah, to murder teenagers
who are making out.
220
00:11:31,330 --> 00:11:34,170
-I'm going up there to check on her.
-You're not allowed to drive.
221
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,170
[grunts] Then, uh, you take me.
222
00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:37,590
No.
223
00:11:38,170 --> 00:11:40,550
I am not gonna be part of your craziness.
224
00:11:40,630 --> 00:11:43,470
Kate is fine.
She just wanted to go for a drive.
225
00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:45,430
That's what people do
when they get their license.
226
00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:49,600
I'm sure you'll want to do the same
when you get yours.
227
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:56,900
Read the room, Andi.
228
00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:03,320
I did. Half the room thinks it's funny.
229
00:12:03,410 --> 00:12:04,450
[laughing]
230
00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:09,660
Thanks for coming.
I really wanna knock Marcy's socks off,
231
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:12,790
-and hopefully, the rest of her clothes.
-Is she home?
232
00:12:12,870 --> 00:12:14,500
No, I told her to take a hike.
233
00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:17,340
And she says you don't romance her.
234
00:12:18,210 --> 00:12:21,380
Okay, here's the recipe:
shrimp scampi with handmade gnocchi.
235
00:12:21,470 --> 00:12:23,430
It works every time.
236
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,470
The only downside is
I've gained six pounds
237
00:12:25,550 --> 00:12:27,260
and no longer feel comfortable naked.
238
00:12:28,810 --> 00:12:31,600
I can't do this. This is cooking.
Lowell, you have to do it for me.
239
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,390
That's not the way it works.
240
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,480
Give a man a fish and he eats for a day.
241
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:38,270
Teach a man to fish
and he eats for a lifetime.
242
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:42,360
But I only want to eat for a day.
Give me my fish, Lowell.
243
00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:48,280
-Aha!
-[screams] Dad!
244
00:12:48,370 --> 00:12:50,990
What are you doing here?
245
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:54,790
What are you doing here?
Did you know this is make-out point?
246
00:12:54,870 --> 00:12:58,540
All the teen moms in Pittsburgh
get their start right here.
247
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,960
No, I just wanted to go for a drive.
248
00:13:02,050 --> 00:13:05,680
Well, you need to go home right now
because I'll tell you something, Katie,
249
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:06,970
you're not ready for this.
250
00:13:07,050 --> 00:13:08,850
-For what?
-The world.
251
00:13:08,930 --> 00:13:11,260
You are too young and too naive.
252
00:13:11,350 --> 00:13:13,770
In fact, you're grounded.
253
00:13:14,980 --> 00:13:17,100
Why? 'Cause I passed my driver's test?
254
00:13:17,190 --> 00:13:22,360
Yes! No, no. It's because you don't
understand how dangerous the world is.
255
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,650
There could be a crazy man up here.
256
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,820
I think there is.
257
00:13:29,030 --> 00:13:32,330
You never used to talk to me like that.
This license has changed you.
258
00:13:34,870 --> 00:13:38,170
I'm crazy? She's crazy.
She won't listen to me.
259
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:39,670
Minus a hundred points.
260
00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:41,460
[siren wails]
261
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:44,340
Ugh, of course.
262
00:13:49,090 --> 00:13:51,220
-Evening, sir.
-Can I help you, Officer?
263
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:55,480
I couldn't help but notice
you leaving make-out point alone and old.
264
00:13:57,390 --> 00:14:00,060
All right, no need
to hurt people's feelings here.
265
00:14:00,150 --> 00:14:03,360
We just want to keep things safe
for the kids. License, please.
266
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,570
Sure. Yeah.
267
00:14:12,490 --> 00:14:13,790
Step out of the car, sir.
268
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,170
Oh, good, the crazy vigilante is home.
269
00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:26,050
A dad's got to do what a dad's got to do.
Sometimes you have to be the bad guy.
270
00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:31,510
Look, Kate is upstairs, very upset.
Okay, you grounded her for no reason.
271
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,390
I had reasons. I had good reasons.
272
00:14:34,970 --> 00:14:36,350
Oh, really? Like what?
273
00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:39,690
Like she's not ready.
A car lets you leave, and I'm not ready.
274
00:14:42,860 --> 00:14:46,320
Wait. She's not ready,
or you're not ready?
275
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,570
Whatever. Somebody isn't ready,
so nobody leaves.
276
00:14:49,650 --> 00:14:52,070
Nobody leaves until everybody's ready!
277
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:57,660
[sighs] Honey, do you remember
when Kate was 12,
278
00:14:57,750 --> 00:15:00,500
and we decided that she was old enough
to go to the mall by herself,
279
00:15:00,580 --> 00:15:03,540
so I'd drop her off with her friends
and then secretly follow her around?
280
00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:06,500
Yeah, I remember you army crawling
through the food court.
281
00:15:07,260 --> 00:15:09,130
Yeah. That was me freaking out
282
00:15:09,220 --> 00:15:11,890
because I didn't think our baby
was ready to go out into the world alone.
283
00:15:12,970 --> 00:15:15,140
Then one day,
she caught me riding the carousel
284
00:15:15,220 --> 00:15:16,890
with a pair of binoculars around my neck.
285
00:15:19,430 --> 00:15:23,020
That's when I realized
that I was the one who wasn't ready.
286
00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:26,690
Oh, so this is your fault, I like that.
287
00:15:29,690 --> 00:15:32,860
No, I'm saying we need to be ready.
288
00:15:32,950 --> 00:15:35,160
[sighs] But what if I'm not?
289
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:39,870
Sweetie, Kate was fine back then
and she's fine now.
290
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,080
[sighs]
291
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,290
But I got to be honest,
you are right in the middle
292
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:45,670
of spoiling one of the biggest moments
of her life.
293
00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:54,890
Go ahead. You can say it.
294
00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:01,770
-You're right.
-I know.
295
00:16:06,190 --> 00:16:07,320
[car door closes]
296
00:16:08,530 --> 00:16:10,780
-Marcy's home early. Hide!
-Where should I go?
297
00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:13,780
Under the table. I'll get her
out of the room, you take off.
298
00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:17,870
Fine, but don't forget to turn
the asparagus down to a simmer, a simmer.
299
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:25,670
What's all this?
300
00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:29,340
I love you, baby, so I'm romancing you
with shrimp and handmade nookie.
301
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:30,420
[March] Oh.
302
00:16:31,130 --> 00:16:33,170
This looks amazing.
303
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,760
That whole time
I thought you weren't doing anything,
304
00:16:36,470 --> 00:16:38,260
you were taking cooking classes.
305
00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:40,100
Yeah, whatever you say. Let's eat.
306
00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:43,730
Why don't we start with dessert?
307
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:49,730
-[Don] So this really worked?
-[Marcy] Oh, yeah, Chef.
308
00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:52,440
-[Don] Oh, Marcy.
-[Marcy] Oh, Don. [chuckles]
309
00:16:52,530 --> 00:16:54,610
-[table creaking]
-Can this table hold us? [grunting]
310
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:56,200
-[Don] If it breaks, it breaks.
-[Marcy] Okay.
311
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:13,590
Hey.
312
00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:16,720
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm just sitting here.
313
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,300
Oh. I get it.
314
00:17:18,970 --> 00:17:21,930
I did the same thing
when I first started driving. [chuckles]
315
00:17:22,970 --> 00:17:24,060
[car door locks]
316
00:17:24,850 --> 00:17:27,850
That's smart.
Don't let crazy people in your car.
317
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,360
I just want to say I'm sorry.
318
00:17:33,570 --> 00:17:35,650
I know what a big deal this is for you.
319
00:17:39,410 --> 00:17:43,830
You know, when I got my license,
it meant I was growing up
320
00:17:43,910 --> 00:17:46,000
and it was the greatest feeling
in the world.
321
00:17:47,540 --> 00:17:50,500
But now that I'm a parent,
watching it happen to you...
322
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,130
it is the scariest feeling in the world.
323
00:17:56,470 --> 00:17:57,680
[sighs]
324
00:17:59,590 --> 00:18:00,890
[car door unlocks]
325
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,020
[sighs]
326
00:18:14,070 --> 00:18:15,530
Go on.
327
00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:18,450
I believe you were saying
nice things to me.
328
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,120
[sighs] Look...
329
00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:27,290
you're my little girl.
330
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:31,130
It's hard for me to accept
that you're growing up.
331
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:32,960
[sighs]
332
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,260
As soon as I saw you behind the wheel...
333
00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:38,680
I saw you leaving.
334
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,800
That's what people do in a car,
they leave.
335
00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:47,930
[scoffs] Dad, you're such a marshmallow.
336
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:52,810
I just... I wish I had more time.
337
00:18:53,570 --> 00:18:55,150
There's so much left to teach you.
338
00:18:55,730 --> 00:18:59,110
Like, when you're walking
to your car at night,
339
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,610
you pepper spray first,
you ask questions later.
340
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,410
Okay, got it.
341
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:07,790
And if a guy calls you after 10:00,
he only wants one thing.
342
00:19:07,870 --> 00:19:11,500
And if a guy calls you before 10:00,
he's just trying to beat the other guy.
343
00:19:11,580 --> 00:19:13,460
Trust me, I have been both guys.
344
00:19:16,710 --> 00:19:18,550
I'm not leaving now.
345
00:19:19,590 --> 00:19:21,550
You don't have to
squeeze it all in tonight.
346
00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:23,890
[chuckles softly] Okay.
347
00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:27,140
But...
348
00:19:27,970 --> 00:19:29,850
[sighs] since I got you,
349
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,560
here's the most important thing
you need to know...
350
00:19:35,860 --> 00:19:37,110
I love you so much.
351
00:19:40,150 --> 00:19:41,740
I love you, too, Dad.
352
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,410
[sighs]
353
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:55,500
So, now will you admit
that I'm an excellent driver?
354
00:19:55,590 --> 00:19:56,790
[sighs]
355
00:19:58,670 --> 00:19:59,960
I love you so much.
356
00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:01,550
[scoffs]
357
00:20:08,260 --> 00:20:12,020
Who has two thumbs
and passed his DMV test?
358
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,230
-This guy!
-Aw.
359
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:15,400
Ha!
360
00:20:17,570 --> 00:20:20,940
Never a doubt. In fact,
I made you a special dinner to celebrate.
361
00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:23,610
Shrimp scampi and handmade gnocchi.
362
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,030
Ooh.
363
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:27,700
Yeah. I got the recipe from Lowell.
364
00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:32,710
Oh, that looks delicious,
but how about if we start with dessert?
365
00:20:32,790 --> 00:20:33,920
Oh.
366
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,790
Not again! Fool me once!
367
00:20:44,630 --> 00:20:46,640
[upbeat music playing]
28686
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