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1
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,353
TED:
Kids, about eight months
2
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:21,655
into Aunt Lily and
Uncle Marshall's engagement,
3
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,592
there occurred
a game-changing emergency.
4
00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:26,427
Van Smoot is available.
5
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,062
Oh, my God!
6
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,630
Van Smoot House
was a gorgeous mansion
7
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,031
right on the Hudson River.
8
00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:33,267
It had everything Marshall and
Lily wanted for their wedding,
9
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,002
but it was never available.
10
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,471
And then, suddenly, it was.
11
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,007
There was a cancellation
two months from now.
12
00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:42,110
You want to have our wedding
in two months?
13
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:43,711
No. It's impossible.
14
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,447
It's Van Smoot, Lily.
It's the dream!
15
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,216
No, there's just
not enough time.
16
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,617
There's no way...
17
00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,819
Oh! Mini-vomit.
18
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,053
Okay, look, look, look.
19
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:54,688
I know that it's sudden,
but check it.
20
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:55,789
If we don't take this,
21
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,825
guess who's on their way
with a deposit check.
22
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,127
Todd and Valerie?
23
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:02,796
When you're planning a wedding,
24
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:04,532
there's always one couple
with similar taste
25
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,634
that seems to be
one step ahead of you.
26
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:10,003
Todd and Valerie
were that couple.
27
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,272
We got to make a decision.
28
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:13,441
Todd and Valerie are in motion.
29
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:16,910
Van Smoot!
30
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:20,448
Oh! Kids, color!
31
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,051
Come on, baby.
32
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:25,686
Come on, come on, come on.
33
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:29,557
(all scream)
34
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,435
Hello,
Marshall.
35
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:42,936
Lily.
36
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,838
Todd.
37
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,440
Valerie.
38
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,277
Stairs.
39
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,447
I can't believe it.
40
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,849
We got
Van Smoot House.
41
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,552
It is on. It is on!
42
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,455
Like the former Soviet
Republic of Azerbaijan.
43
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,857
What?
You're a wonder.
44
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,693
Wow! You guys are getting
married in two months.
45
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,195
How are you going
to get everything done?
46
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,562
Division of labor.
47
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,764
Everyone's got
a job to do,
so listen up.
48
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,766
Okay, Robin, you and Ted
go to the florist.
49
00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:17,037
Robin had been mad at me
since the night
50
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:20,974
I slightly exaggeratedmy
not-having-a-girlfriend-ness.
51
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,344
Was it...?
It was your girlfriend.
52
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,547
You might want
to call her back.
53
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:28,416
Or, actually,
54
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,518
Robin, why don't you
go to the florist?
55
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:31,385
And, Ted,
56
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:32,686
I could use your keen
57
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:35,656
architectural eye on...
on the invitations.
58
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:38,692
Wow. That was really
awkward, Lil.
59
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:43,931
And still. It's still
really awkward right now.
60
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,368
Hey, what about me?
What's my job?
61
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:48,902
What do I get to do?
62
00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:50,137
Okay, your job
is very simple.
63
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,573
At the wedding, do not
sleep with anyone
64
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,075
even remotely
related to me.
65
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:56,344
(chuckles)
66
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:59,413
Lil, you know
I can't promise that.
67
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,986
Shh! Shh!
68
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:07,755
Look how cute
she looks.
69
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,690
All tuckered out.
70
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:12,793
(whispering):
Hey, babe.
71
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:13,961
Hey, little one.
72
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,063
Hey, little sparrow.
73
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,532
Crap! Band!
We forgot a band!
74
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:21,835
It's just gonna be
silence and then people chewing.
75
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,937
Shh! Shh! Baby,
don't worry about it.
76
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,706
I called The 88!
77
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,575
Who?
The 88.
78
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:28,576
They're this awesome band.
79
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,244
They played my
law review party.
80
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:31,345
They were found guilty.
81
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,981
On three counts
of rocking.
82
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,349
I saw them two months ago
83
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,550
at my cousin Bonzo's
wedding, they were great.
84
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,952
John "Bonzo" Bonham
from Led Zeppelin?
85
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:41,689
Yes, Lily, my cousin,
the drummer from Led Zeppelin,
86
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:44,858
who died in 1980,
got married two months ago.
87
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:48,429
Look, I... I can't sign off
on a band I've never even seen.
88
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:51,031
We... we don't even know
if they can play our song.
89
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,401
They're... they're going to have
to come over here and audition.
90
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,303
Baby, The 88
don't audition.
91
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,971
They're, like, the Wiggles
of wedding bands.
92
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,007
Well, then... I have to say no.
93
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,911
Baby, they're only
holding the date until Monday.
94
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:06,480
Well... well, are they
playing anywhere this weekend?
95
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,016
Let me check their Web site.
96
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:11,419
What?
97
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:12,586
Lily, you're being
98
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,688
a wee bit intense
about this band thing.
99
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,291
Intense? I have
a wedding to plan
100
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:20,093
in nine weeks for 200 people.
101
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,261
Even if a dinosaur
102
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,230
should poke his head
out of my butt
103
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,998
and consume
this coffee table,
104
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:27,200
I need you
to roll with it, okay?
105
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,702
Wow.
106
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,103
Guys!
107
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,573
I just tasted
an amazing caterer.
108
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,107
We already have a caterer.
109
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:35,576
Oh, right.
You're getting married.
110
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,611
You see what
I did there?
111
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:38,712
Took a...
112
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,449
It looks like
The 88 are playing
113
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:44,652
at a high school prom
in New Jersey tomorrow.
114
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,520
A prom?
Can... can we go to that?
115
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:47,755
Yeah, we'll just
116
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,057
call the high school,
they'll let us
117
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,124
stand in the back
and watch.
118
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:54,495
Yeah. No, they won't.
Why not?
119
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,129
'Cause it turns out
we're not in high school.
120
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,998
No sweat, we'll
just sneak in.
121
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,567
We're not sneaking in
to a high schoolprom.
122
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,402
Yes, we are.
It's the only way.
123
00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:02,302
You're getting
on board
124
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,404
with Barney's idea?
125
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,439
Man, you really have snapped.
126
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,441
It's nine weeks
till the wedding.
127
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:10,344
At this point, I'd say yes
to just about anything.
128
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,812
Well...
No, Barney.
129
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:22,490
TED:
And so Aunt Lily hatched a plan
to crash a prom.
130
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:23,791
I'll go with you.
131
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:24,658
Really?
Yeah.
132
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,560
I never got
to go to my prom.
133
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:28,362
We always had field hockey
nationals in the spring.
134
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,797
(coughs)
135
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:30,864
Lesbian.
136
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:33,467
The cough is supposed
to cover the "lesbian."
137
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,335
No, I'm trying
to start a thing
138
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:36,770
where the cough
is separate.
139
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,606
Do you think we
look young enough
140
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,207
to blend in at
a high school?
141
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,675
Please, I'm ageless,
142
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,110
Scherbotsky just needs
a good night's sleep,
143
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,613
and you've got "statutory"
written all over your body.
144
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,281
Hey, why don't we all go?
145
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,651
I don't know... more people
might be harder to sneak in.
146
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,386
We don't want
to mess things up for Lily.
147
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:53,787
Yeah, you're right.
148
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,423
Besides, Marshall and I have
been planning
149
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,391
on having a guy's night out
before the wedding.
150
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,026
Why don't we just make it
tomorrow night?
151
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,494
Sounds awesome.
152
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,362
We should go out
and just get freakin' weird.
153
00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:03,464
Yeah.
154
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:04,632
'Cause, you know, you be
155
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,734
a bad, bad man,
and I be an outlaw.
156
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,035
What?
(trilling
high-pitched noises)
157
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:09,570
BARNEY:
Wow.
158
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:10,971
Hey, Thelma, Louise,
159
00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,273
y'all don't drive off
no cliffs now, ya hear?
160
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,108
Lame!
161
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,945
But seriously,
162
00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,147
leave me a message,
and we'll meet up later.
163
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:25,352
All right, what
do you think?
164
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:26,754
Horrible.
165
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:30,090
You're gonna make
such a great dad.
166
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,659
You look so classy and nice.
167
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,494
You're going to stick out
like a sore thumb.
168
00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:34,862
Have you seen
how the kids
169
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,464
are dressing these days,
with the Ashlee
170
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:37,865
and the Lindsay and the Paris?
171
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:40,333
They all dress
like strippers.
172
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,536
It's go ho or go home.
173
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,737
Well, we have
to get in.
174
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,138
I have
to see this band,
175
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:47,040
'cause we have to make
a decision by Monday,
176
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,709
'cause I'm getting
married in 71 days,
177
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:50,143
and we still
don't have...
Shh.
178
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,080
Sweetie, just focus on
one thing at a time, okay?
179
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,081
Right now, you just
180
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:56,149
have to dress like
a whore and that's it.
181
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,951
All right.
182
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:58,986
That's the spirit.
183
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,221
Now, ladies, slut up!
184
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,791
(chuckles)
185
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:06,494
I never thought
this would be a bad thing,
186
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,661
but my wardrobe
187
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,362
just isn't slutty enough.
188
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,066
I didn't know I still had this.
189
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,401
What?
190
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:18,639
The dress I wore
to my actual prom.
191
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:26,780
Dude, you are the hottest girl
at this prom, and not like
192
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,482
in a corporate, plastic way.
193
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:32,452
Like, truly, truly hot.
Like a hot soul.
194
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,322
Aw, you look great,
too, Scooter.
195
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:36,824
So big news.
196
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,426
I heard from umpire school.
I'm in!
197
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:42,229
Oh, disco!
198
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,332
I am so happy for you.
199
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:48,669
You mean happy for us,
right, babe?
200
00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:52,472
Scooter, you're gonna
be an umpire someday.
201
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:53,874
No, baby.
202
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:56,677
We're gonna be
an umpire someday.
203
00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,046
Cheese.
Cheese.
204
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,380
Nice.
205
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:01,615
You ladies look good,
206
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,316
but your outfits
are missing just one thing.
207
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,285
No, Barney, this is as far
as we're going to go.
208
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,486
I'm not showing
anymore...
209
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:09,990
Two beautiful flowers
for two beautiful flowers.
210
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,825
Aw. Sweet.
211
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,226
Thank you.
212
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,595
(chuckles)
213
00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:17,364
Oh, Robin,
are you tearing up?
214
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:18,799
No.
215
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,234
I've never been
to prom before, okay?
216
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:22,970
We got to go.
217
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,972
See ya.
TED:
Bye, have fun.
218
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,406
See you.
219
00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:28,375
Oh.
220
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:30,578
They grow up into skanks
so fast, don't they, Ted?
221
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,713
So, what, we ready for tonight?
222
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:34,648
Yeah. Just one thing
we got to do first.
223
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,283
Shot of Jim Beam?
Yeah.
224
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,985
Yes!
And then I promised Lily
225
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,887
that we'd stuff
200 wedding invitations.
226
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,422
What?!
I'm sorry, dude,
227
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:43,991
but you saw how
stressed out she is.
228
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,593
Come on! You've been doing
wedding stuff nonstop.
229
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:46,727
Take a break.
230
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:47,961
Once you're married,
231
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,931
if we go out and you get
so drunk you throw up,
232
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:54,034
it'll be sad, but if we do it
tonight... it'll be less sad.
233
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,803
Okay, it'll be cool...
I'll tell you what.
234
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,237
we'll make a game out of it.
235
00:08:57,304 --> 00:09:00,373
First one to stuff a hundred
invitations gets a big prize.
236
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,209
Do I look like I'm four?
237
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,277
All right, what kind of prize
are we talking?
238
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,050
Wow, a lot more security
than when we were kids.
239
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:10,884
Is this gonna work?
240
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,120
Yeah. Look, when I was 17,
241
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,422
I used to sneak into clubs
all the time.
242
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:16,924
It's all about confidence.
243
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,491
Follow me.
244
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,428
Whee-hoo!
Happy prom, everybody.
245
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,363
Going to prom...
whee-hoo!
246
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,332
Uh, you're adults.
247
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,434
Okay, bye.
248
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,704
Okay, look,
I just need to see the band.
249
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,139
I'm getting married
in two months, and...
250
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,041
(chuckling):
And you're just finding a band?
251
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,276
(grunts)
Hey, ho, hey!
252
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,145
I'm sorry, ma'am.
253
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,848
You either need to be a student
or the date of a student.
254
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,617
(sighs)
255
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,485
Wow. "Ma'am?"
256
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,655
Check and mate.
It's cool.
257
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,389
Time to activate
plan B.
258
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:51,625
Scherbotsky, how comfortable
are you with a crossbow?
259
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,593
Scherbotsky?
260
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,763
Hey, guys.
261
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:57,831
Do you want to take
two hot girls to prom?
262
00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:01,101
We don't have that
kind of money.
263
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,335
For free.
264
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:03,871
Oh, hell yeah!
265
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,406
Great. I'm Robin,
this is my friend Lily.
266
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:07,574
Hi. Shall we?
267
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,643
Sure.
268
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,344
I knew it would happen.
269
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,612
This is the dream.
270
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,115
Oh, hey, wait.
How's Barney getting in?
271
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,350
Don't worry about me.
I'll get in.
272
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,721
Oh... I'll get in.
273
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:30,831
(upbeat rock music playing)
274
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,906
We're in!
275
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,407
Thank you. We're going
to take a break.
276
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,942
Oh, you're kidding me.
277
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:45,412
Hey, uh, you ladies want
something to take the edge off?
278
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,649
Yeah, what the hell?
It's prom.
279
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:53,854
(coughs)
280
00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,823
That tastes
like cough syrup.
281
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,758
Yeah, we couldn't
get any alcohol.
282
00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,993
Um, our fake IDs
say we're only 20.
283
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,829
We didn't realize it
till after we bought them.
284
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:04,164
Nerds who aren't
good at math?
285
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,200
Life's going to be rough, boys.
286
00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:10,704
Hi.
287
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,072
Excuse me.
I was wondering
288
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:14,307
if you guys could play
"Good Feeling"
289
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:15,675
by the Violent Femmes.
290
00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:17,878
I know it's probably
not in your repertoire,
291
00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,479
but I'm getting married
and my fiancé
292
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,081
wants to hire
you guys as the band,
293
00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,817
but I can't sign off on it
until I hear you play
294
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:25,085
"Good Feeling"
because that's our song,
295
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,054
and what kind of wedding
band would you be
296
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,789
if you couldn't play
our song, right? Right?
297
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,590
Look, I'm kinda
wasted right now,
298
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,760
so I didn't understand
any of that.
299
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,995
But, uh, if you get
us the sheet music,
300
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:36,229
we'll play your song.
301
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,000
So, you buzzing, baby?
302
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,435
My phlegm feels looser.
303
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:56,784
This is pathetic.
304
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,018
It's guys' night.
305
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,754
We should be out
in a bar getting in fights.
306
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:03,356
If I got in a fight,
would you have my back?
307
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:04,925
You know it.
308
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,761
I'd have your back, too.
309
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,630
That's cool.
310
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:12,099
(laughs)
311
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,934
What, you don't think
you'd need my help?
312
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,003
You don't know
what I can do.
313
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,206
I'm like...
like a berserker.
314
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,607
Okay, Ted.
315
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:21,909
Hello.
316
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,176
Hey, it's Robin.
317
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,212
Um, Lily needs you to download
the sheet music
318
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:29,216
for "Good Feeling" and bring it
out here, like, now.
319
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,283
Hang on.
320
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:31,118
It's Robin.
321
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:32,485
She wants me
to go to prom.
322
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:34,855
Can Ted come?
323
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,890
Wait! Don't ask!
That's so lame!
324
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,026
I don't even want
to go anyway.
325
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,760
Uh, I don't know.
326
00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:42,762
Things have been
so weird between us.
327
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,464
What'd she say?
What'd she say?
328
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,567
He lied and told me he broke up
with his girlfriend
329
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,569
to try to hook up with me.
330
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,371
I mean, I know
he apologized for it
331
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,274
but it's just, it's not easy
to forgive.
332
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:57,144
Look, if you absolutely must
bring Ted, it's, it's not like
333
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,813
I'm going to claw
my own eyes out if he comes.
334
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,749
Okay, bye.
335
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,517
She totally wants you to come.
336
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:11,158
All right, sheet music's
on the way.
337
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,127
Are you okay?
338
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:17,464
There's just so much
to do for this wedding.
339
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,032
My head is swirling.
340
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:22,002
It's just
all moving too fast.
341
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,971
How is it moving too fast?
342
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,672
We've been together
for two years.
343
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:29,376
I just... I just don't want
everything in my life
344
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,344
to be decided already.
345
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,312
What's decided?
346
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,414
I go to umpire school,
you go to college.
347
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,683
We move into my dad's house
in Staten Island.
348
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,685
We have kids,
we grow old together.
349
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,721
What's decided? It's wide open!
350
00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:48,361
Scooter, when I go off to
college, that's the end for us.
351
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:52,933
You're, you're breaking up
with me?
352
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,002
There's still so much
I want to do.
353
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,805
I want to travel,
live overseas as an artist,
354
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:02,109
maybe have
a lesbian relationship.
355
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,411
Plus, I think
I was just dating you
356
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:07,014
'cause you look a little bit
like Kurt Cobain.
357
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,415
I can't believe this.
358
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:12,619
I can change. I can look
more like Kurt Cobain.
359
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,754
Please, just don't leave me.
360
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,123
I'm nothing without you, baby.
361
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,625
Please don't put that kind
of pressure on me!
362
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,193
It's too much!
363
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,196
It's just one
dance, God!
364
00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:24,364
What?
365
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,066
Well, we did promise
them one dance.
366
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:28,501
Yeah, sure, okay.
367
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:36,876
* Say what you say,
made up my... *
368
00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:39,612
So Andrew,
what's your big plan?
369
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,382
What's life going to be
like after tonight?
370
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,284
Well, you know
I got it all worked out.
371
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,286
Uh, leave this place in my dust,
372
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,621
four awesome years at college,
373
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,090
and then I'll move to Prague
374
00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:51,992
or start my own video game
company or something.
375
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,360
No, you won't.
376
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,095
I won't?
377
00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:57,697
No, you won't accomplish
anything you set out to.
378
00:14:57,764 --> 00:15:00,333
You'll get a girlfriend
the first day of college
379
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,969
and you'll give up
your independence
380
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,203
and you'll never live abroad
381
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,105
and you'll wind up old
before your time
382
00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:08,175
wondering "Whatever happened
to my hopes and my dreams?"
383
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:11,544
Whoa. You really think
I'll get a girlfriend?
384
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:15,248
So, uh, what's
the deal here?
385
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,017
Am I getting lucky tonight?
386
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:22,522
Oh, Sean, look,
um, you're a nice guy,
387
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,656
but I just don't...
388
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:26,259
(vomits)
389
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:29,129
No, you're not
getting lucky tonight.
390
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:48,281
BARNEY:
Okay, just be cool.
Don't look at me.
391
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:50,717
Okay.
392
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:51,918
How'd you get in here?
393
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,787
What's it to you,
giant turtle?
394
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:58,158
It's me, Barney.
395
00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:00,193
Oh, hey. Where's Lily?
396
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,428
She's in the bathroom.
397
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,230
Wait here, I should
go talk to the band.
398
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,797
All right.
How did you guys
get in here?
399
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:05,932
We just snuck in the back.
400
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,734
You just snu... Are you serious?
401
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,137
Mm-hmm.
I've been trying
to get in here all night.
402
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,005
I finally paid
a janitor200 bucks
403
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,841
to let me borrow this
mascot costume.
404
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,377
But you got in.
(sighs)
405
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,746
Slow and steady won the race.
406
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:23,683
Hey, bro,
407
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:24,851
have you seen my fiancée Lily?
408
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,054
Your fiancée?
409
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,156
Whoa, tonight
she's with me, bro.
410
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,657
Unless you're looking
for trouble.
411
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:31,691
Listen, little buddy,
412
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:32,959
I understand it's prom
413
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,394
and the adrenaline's
pumping, but...
414
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,129
No, not tonight.
I've waited too long for this.
415
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,897
I finally got a girl
and I'm not going
416
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,499
to let you take her
away from me.
417
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,834
Whoa, whoa.
418
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:43,036
Look, let's not
get carried away.
419
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,804
Yah! Nunchaku!
420
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:45,905
Oh!
421
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:48,108
(yells)
422
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,177
I can't believe
I unloaded like that
423
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,878
on a high school senior.
424
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:53,580
I can't believe
a high school senior
425
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,082
unloaded like that on me.
426
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:58,951
I'm going to ask you
something
427
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,753
and, um, maybe it's crazy
428
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,456
'cause you guys
are the cutest couple ever.
429
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,526
But, um, are you having
second thoughts?
430
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,263
Yeah.
431
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:14,067
But not about Marshall.
About me.
432
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,468
I just keep thinking
433
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,438
about the girl I was
ten years ago
434
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:21,274
and wondering
what happened to her.
435
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,343
I don't want to be tied down.
436
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:27,614
I want to live in France
and Spain and Italy
437
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,650
and just soak up life
and put it on a canvas,
438
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:31,718
even if it means
439
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,221
being a waitress in crappy
cafés for five years,
440
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,388
I don't care.
441
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:36,889
I'm going to be a painter.
442
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:40,026
And I can't do any of that
with a, with a boyfriend
443
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,362
shackled around my neck,
you know?
444
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:45,932
But anyway, I'm blabbering.
445
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,601
Way to make new friends, Lily.
446
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:51,404
I'm sorry. What was
your name again?
447
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,505
Marshall.
448
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,842
Nice to meet you, Marshall.
449
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,677
Guess we're hallmates.
450
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:58,711
Yeah.
451
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,449
("Good Feeling" playing)
452
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,184
It works.
453
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,453
Violent Femmes.
I love this song.
454
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,854
Me, too.
455
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:11,524
* Won't you stay with me
just a little longer? *
456
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,893
I didn't have any
of the experiences
457
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,795
I set out to.
458
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:21,334
The travel, the bohemian art
life, my big lesbian experience.
459
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,970
I didn't do any of it.
460
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:28,341
Lily, you're marrying
your best friend in the world.
461
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:29,542
I mean, isn't that worth
462
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:32,111
all the other
experiences combined?
463
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,315
Yeah.
464
00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:38,151
And look, you can still travel,
I mean, you can still paint.
465
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:41,221
And as far
as your lesbian experience...
466
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:45,692
Happy?
467
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:47,794
Yeah.
468
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,162
So field hockey, huh?
469
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,630
Shut up.
470
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:55,034
Trespassing, assaulting a minor.
471
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:57,470
This mascot costume
you stole
472
00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:58,571
cost $5,000.
473
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,907
We can have you guys
arrested, you know that?
474
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,543
Oh, come on... you're the one
who let in a kid with nunchakus.
475
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,011
You call yourself
security guards?
476
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,413
I was just defending
my boy here.
477
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,780
I totally could have
taken that kid.
478
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:09,316
Uh, yeah, and I totally
had your back, so...
479
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,184
Well, I don't need it,
but thanks.
480
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,785
Uh, yeah, you did,
and you're welcome.
481
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,087
No, the kid was totally, like,
a white belt and I'm gigantic.
482
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,856
Listen, guys, I'm sorry.
483
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,259
Please, I just need to get
in there for one more song.
484
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,393
Absolutely not.
485
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,464
You guys will thank me
for this later, okay?
486
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:28,368
Listen, Don, Ray,
can't we all...?
487
00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,270
(yelling)
Hey!
488
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:34,407
You know, for a turtle,
he's surprisingly quick.
489
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:41,414
This one goes out to that
redhead girl and that tall guy.
490
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:50,022
* Good feeling,
won't you stay with me *
491
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:53,860
* Just a little longer? *
492
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:57,330
* It always seems
like you're leaving *
493
00:19:57,397 --> 00:20:04,871
* When I need you here
just a little longer *
494
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:06,273
(Robin chuckles)
495
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,074
So how was your first prom?
496
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,976
You tell me.
497
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,177
I hated my dress,
498
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,145
my date got wasted
and puked on me,
499
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,747
there was a huge fight
500
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,583
and I kissed a girl.
501
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:19,519
So, basically,
it was a prom.
502
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,855
Okay, I've missed you.
503
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,658
Not in a we're-going-
to-make-out way,
504
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,761
not even in
an I-forgive-you way.
505
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:32,465
Just in a I've-
missed-you way.
506
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:35,335
I'll take what I can get.
507
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:38,037
BARNEY:
And that, my friends,
508
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,473
is why you don't
get your money's worth
509
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,575
when you wear jeans
to a strip club.
510
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:49,882
So you got to admit,
The 88 are rocking our song.
511
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,251
Yeah, it's good.
512
00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:55,755
Band? Check.
513
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,123
Two months, baby.
514
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,925
Two months.
515
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:02,028
Two months.
35960
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