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Downloaded from
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[music playing]
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[christmas music]
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EMILY (VOICEOVER): If you're not
familiar with Evergreen Lane,
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00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:16,349
it is the most magical Christmas
street in the whole world
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00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:19,894
with the most intense
HOA rules imaginable.
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00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,855
My parents can take a
lot of credit for that.
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00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,690
And somehow, the
entire neighborhood is
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00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,483
on board for their craziness.
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00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,361
But they always had
the best intentions.
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00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,113
I learned the hard
way last Christmas.
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00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:31,656
And you know what?
14
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,534
I wouldn't trade that
experience for the world.
15
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:38,246
I had such a wonderful time
in this odd little lane
16
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:41,374
that I decided to
make it my home again.
17
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:45,045
And I'm even dating
the boy next door.
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00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:47,380
My quirky neighbors
are now my family.
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00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:48,673
Hey.
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00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,176
EMILY (VOICEOVER): And
this year, I am all in.
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00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:54,220
Actually, we're
all in it together.
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00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:55,930
That looks so good.
Thank you.
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00:00:55,972 --> 00:00:58,224
EMILY (VOICEOVER): Because if
there's one thing I've learned,
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00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:00,685
the point of Christmas
is to bring as much joy
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00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,645
to as many people as possible.
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00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:04,022
Go.
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00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:04,898
Hey, Dad.
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00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:05,732
Is that a camera?
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00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:06,608
No.
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00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:07,776
It's a theodolite.
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00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,736
It's for geological surveying.
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00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,488
EMILY: Oh.
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00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:12,947
You planning something big with
your decorations this year?
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Mind blowing.
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00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:14,824
Oh.
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00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,329
Attention all units.
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00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:21,206
This is Agent Sugarplum
reporting an on time arrival
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00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:22,582
of the necessary nutcracker.
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00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:23,416
Over.
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00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:24,793
Just one sec.
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00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:25,960
You know the rules.
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00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,087
Come on.
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00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:28,755
36 inches from
shoe to chapeau.
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00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,173
Seriously?
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00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:31,633
It's the same exact
nutcracker as last year.
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00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:32,967
I'm just double checking.
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00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,761
What, making sure he
didn't magically shrink
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00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,429
inside of his storage bin?
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00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,139
I'm making sure no one accuses
me of giving my girlfriend
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00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:38,932
special treatment.
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Oh.
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00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,559
Look at that.
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00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:42,811
You're in the clear.
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Oh, so no citation.
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Sadly, no.
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00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,524
I will settle for
a kiss, however.
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00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:50,151
Do you think that I only kiss
you to get out of citations?
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00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,529
Why do you think
I keep writing them?
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00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:55,573
You know, I was thinking
that if down the road,
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00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,617
we ended up on a more
permanent basis--
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00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:58,451
Hmm.
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00:01:58,493 --> 00:01:59,911
I'm listening.
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00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,705
--then in that scenario,
hypothetically, we'd only
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00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,415
have to decorate one house.
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00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,875
You mean we only get
to decorate one house.
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00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,336
[cheery music]
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00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,088
Ned, you have to move that.
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00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,132
Men at work.
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00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:14,342
Enough with the PDA, you two.
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00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,677
You're making me sick.
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00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:16,720
Oh, come on.
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00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:18,096
You're way worse with Allan.
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00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,723
It's true.
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00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,641
Three more long and lonely
weeks until he gets back.
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00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,477
But it's an El Nino year, so
I'm not holding my breath.
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00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:28,773
Actually, it's a La Nina
year, La Nina from the Spanish
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00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,191
for little girl.
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00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,652
It's the colder counterpart
to the oceanic and
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00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,821
atmospheric phenomenon,
which is known
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00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,031
as the Southern Oscillation.
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00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:37,323
Thank you, Ned.
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00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,700
If I had a meteorology
merit badge,
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00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,827
I'd pin it on your parka.
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00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,246
You see what I'm dealing with?
- Well, it's getting intense.
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[opening credits]
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(SINGING) Haul out the holly.
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00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:51,796
Put up the tree before
my spirit falls again.
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00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,424
Fill up the stocking.
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00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:58,303
I may be rushing things,
but deck the halls
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00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:04,392
again now for we need
a little Christmas
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00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:08,188
right this very minute,
candles in the window,
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00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:09,814
carols at the spinet.
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00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,526
Guess we need a little Christmas
right this very minute.
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00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,362
It hasn't snowed
a single flurry.
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00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,280
But Santa dear,
we're in a hurry.
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00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,700
So climb down the chimney.
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00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:25,330
Put up the brightest string
of lights I've ever seen.
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00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,957
Slice up the fruitcake.
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00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:33,296
It's time we hung some tinsel
on that evergreen bough.
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00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:34,798
OK, everyone, get together.
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00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,883
Say evergreen on three.
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00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:42,097
1, 2, 3, evergreen.
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00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,348
Group hug.
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00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,599
EMILY (VOICEOVER):
As you can see,
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00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,851
we're all very close,
almost too close.
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00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:47,977
OK, that's good.
Yeah.
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00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,229
EMILY (VOICEOVER):
So when a house
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00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,563
goes up for sale
on Evergreen Lane,
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00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:53,108
it causes quite the commotion.
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00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:55,527
I can't believe the
Chapmans are gone.
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00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,737
Oh, I'm going to miss
Nancy's snickerdoodles.
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00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,447
I blame myself.
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00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,408
She probably got
tired of me absolutely
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00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:03,201
destroying her in
the cookie contest
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00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,828
year after year after year.
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00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:08,081
I'm pretty sure her law firm
transferred her to Seattle.
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00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,833
OK.
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00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,418
Tell yourself whatever you
need to feel better, sweetie.
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00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:14,129
The real question is,
are they up to the task
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00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,840
that awaits them, or are
we going to have to go
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00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:19,092
medieval on their merriment?
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00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,385
Now, come clean, Farnsworth.
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00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,137
What are we dealing with here?
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00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,264
Ned, I am in the
dark on this one.
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00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,099
The realtor filed
the HOA paperwork.
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00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:27,100
How mysterious.
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00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,269
I wonder who it could be.
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00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,770
MARY LOUISE: Wait a minute.
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00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,523
I think I know how we can
get to the bottom of this.
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00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:34,733
OK.
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00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,234
AI ASSISTANT: What
would you like to know?
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00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,571
Who's moving into
the house next door?
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00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,197
AI ASSISTANT: The
House Next Door
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00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:44,117
is a 2002 thriller
directed by Joey Travolta.
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00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,618
Sorry, Mary Louise.
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00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,830
I don't think the technology
is quite there yet.
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00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,915
Well, they knew
when Sizzler was open.
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00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,917
Listen, I'm sure
whoever moves in, they're
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00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:53,835
going to be wonderful.
140
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,545
Yeah.
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00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,130
Oh, I just hope it's not the
couple we saw the other day.
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00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:58,548
Why?
They seem so nice.
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00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,884
They seem nice,
but I suspected
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00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:02,469
insufficient holiday spirit.
145
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:03,762
Oh, how so?
146
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:06,514
They were wearing
beanies with no pompoms.
147
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:07,724
- Exactly.
- Wait.
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00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:08,892
Seriously?
149
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,143
What does that have
to do with anything?
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00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:12,687
Ned, you want
to take this one?
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00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:16,649
Pompoms are jocular,
like a corncob pipe,
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00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:20,320
like a Christmas pendant,
like cookies for breakfast.
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00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:21,988
They convey a sense
of playfulness,
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00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,490
ergo, holiday spirit.
155
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:24,908
If you choose to
wear a winter hat
156
00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,743
and also choose not
to wear a pompom,
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00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:30,955
it is a dead giveaway
you're a Grinch in hiding.
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00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:31,956
Glad I'm not a Grinch.
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00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,291
Don't get cocky, kid.
160
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,834
You still got a long
way ahead of you.
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00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:35,752
Where's your pompom?
162
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,298
[yelps ]
163
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,341
PAMELA: Well done, Emily.
164
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:44,302
The student becomes the teacher.
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00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,345
Thank you.
166
00:05:45,387 --> 00:05:48,515
[cheery music]
167
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,770
Some holiday treats
for the HOA meeting.
168
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,188
Aww.
That was so sweet of you.
169
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,106
Thanks for doing that.
170
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,524
You're welcome.
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00:05:57,565 --> 00:05:59,359
I'm also hoping to buy
a little forgiveness.
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00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:00,860
- For what?
- I can't make it.
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00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,529
Again?
Why?
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00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:03,780
I have a meeting with the
Millers about the remodel.
175
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:04,948
Do you think you
can cover for me?
176
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:06,533
Of course, I can.
But--
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00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:08,451
Any questions anybody has,
they can call, text, email.
178
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:09,703
I will take care of it.
179
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:11,121
I think you forgot
singing telegram.
180
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,373
Absolutely,
unless it's Pamela.
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00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,249
What's wrong?
182
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,709
OK, I'm going to say it.
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00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:18,044
I don't feel like you're
prioritizing Christmas.
184
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:21,965
Emily Melrose, the woman I
had to citate last year to come
185
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,550
to my white elephant party?
- I know.
186
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,093
But now I am all in.
187
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,387
And I just want to know
that we're all in together.
188
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:28,722
Oh, I am all in.
189
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:29,848
Believe me.
190
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,683
I just have this one
last thing to do.
191
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,892
Trust me.
- All right.
192
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:33,893
OK.
All right.
193
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:34,602
Oh.
194
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:35,937
Going to need this.
195
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,355
All right.
196
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,732
A lot of nuts.
197
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,693
[pensive music]
198
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,238
JARED: I have so much to do.
199
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,741
I just haven't been this nervous
since HOA election night.
200
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,909
It's probably best if
you keep that between us.
201
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,244
The stakes are so high.
202
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:52,579
I just don't want
logistics to mess it up.
203
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,414
This is supposed to
be the most exhilarating
204
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:55,749
moment of your life, Jared.
205
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:56,958
You sound like you're
planning a block party.
206
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,543
Please.
207
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,086
I've planned many a block
parties in my day, Jess.
208
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,547
But I've never had a coordinate
a horse and buggy, a string
209
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,133
quartet, a glassblower,
an ornamental locksmith,
210
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:07,552
and an Austrian composer
to write original Christmas
211
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,095
music so that--
212
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,056
Maybe we should think
about simplifying the plan.
213
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:14,434
I may be a simple man, but
I do not make simple plans.
214
00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,728
It's just the holidays
are stressful as it is.
215
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,772
You're adding a million
things to your to-do list.
216
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,982
But I'm sure that Emily
would be ecstatic if you
217
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,108
just got down on one knee.
218
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:22,984
Ooh.
219
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:23,943
Knee pads.
220
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:24,778
Thanks for the reminder.
221
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,863
Hi.
222
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,490
JARED: Oh.
223
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:29,282
Thanks, Joe.
224
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:30,325
Wow.
225
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:33,036
Jared, that is beautiful.
226
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,662
You think so?
227
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,956
Definitely a fit for the
future queen of Evergreen Lane.
228
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:40,460
Well, I could cry
just thinking about it.
229
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,878
So you think she'll like it?
230
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,546
She's been describing
her ideal wedding ring
231
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,215
since seventh grade Home-Ec.
232
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:48,343
Trust me, this passes the test.
233
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,928
How many points
are in these donuts?
234
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,722
[anticipatory music]
235
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,226
All right.
236
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:57,852
Should we get started?
237
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:58,728
WOMAN: Yes.
238
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,650
Where's the
Christmas "cruel-ler"?
239
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:07,487
You all know I have lifetime
dibs on the Christmas cruller.
240
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,155
Well, maybe there wasn't one.
241
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:13,535
Jared always gets at least
one Christmas cruller for me.
242
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,537
It's pronounced
"cruh-ler," OK?
243
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:18,331
And Jared isn't here, so
please, Ned, just let it go.
244
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,916
Pamela's right.
Jared couldn't be here.
245
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,668
But he said if any of you
have questions, please
246
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,003
feel free to reach out to him.
247
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,129
Oh, reach out?
248
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,505
Touch someone?
249
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,340
Oh, what a world we live in.
250
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:30,802
Dear Jared.
251
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,637
OK, this is not
pastry-gate, Ned.
252
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,514
We've got important
business to do here.
253
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:35,473
I'm sorry, you guys.
254
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,183
Jared's notes are a mess.
255
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,144
I really can't make heads or
tails of what needs to be done.
256
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,562
It's going to be fine.
257
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:41,855
I think Jared has
everything under control.
258
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,231
Well, just the tree
lighting is in two days.
259
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,274
And I don't know
which volunteers
260
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:45,400
are supposed to be doing what.
261
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,359
I'm available
tomorrow morning.
262
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:47,694
Thank you, Bob.
263
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:50,405
That means around
11:40 AM for him, FYI.
264
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:51,698
Got it.
265
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,074
Technically,
that's still morning.
266
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,075
I should have gone
through this more carefully
267
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,201
with Jared beforehand.
268
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,536
OK, then what
are we doing here?
269
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,871
Certainly not enjoying
a Christmas cruller.
270
00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:00,206
I will give you
1,000 crullers if you
271
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,374
stop saying it like that.
272
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,126
That is the
exact pronunciation
273
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,002
from North Hamburg.
274
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,420
Hold on, everybody.
275
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,881
Delores from the notary
office is snapping me.
276
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:08,590
Hold on.
277
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,133
You snap?
278
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,718
Yeah, my grandson taught me.
279
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,053
Oh, this will be fun.
280
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,137
Oh.
281
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,972
Oh, my gosh.
282
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,558
Oh, wow.
283
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,434
Spit it out, woman.
284
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:20,268
Oh, my golly.
285
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,103
My Jiminy Crickets.
286
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,521
Oh, I can't believe it.
287
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,231
What is it?
288
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,860
The people moving into the
house are the Jolly Johnsons.
289
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,321
[cheering]
290
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,576
Can you believe it?
291
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,287
Don't you toy with
me about my JJs.
292
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:40,288
Who are the JJs?
293
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,664
I'm not kidding.
294
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:42,874
They're moving in next
Wednesday morning.
295
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,168
That's less than
39 hours from now.
296
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:46,336
Oh, can you believe it?
297
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:47,253
We're famous.
298
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:48,296
We're not famous.
299
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:49,631
They're famous.
300
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:51,257
You guys, who are
the Jolly Johnsons?
301
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,425
ALL: What?
302
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:53,802
Wow.
303
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,345
I thought we were friends.
304
00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:57,263
Jolly Johnsons
are the reigning
305
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,182
champions of Ho Ho House.
306
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:00,100
Ho Ho House?
307
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,434
OK, stop it.
Please.
308
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,686
You're just
embarrassing yourself.
309
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:03,687
You know what?
310
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,188
I have a picture.
311
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,022
OK.
312
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:06,690
Yeah.
313
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,024
Here they are.
314
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:08,942
Oh.
315
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,360
How'd you pull those up so fast?
316
00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:11,486
I might have
recently printed them
317
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,654
out to put on my vision board.
318
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:13,947
Is there a problem?
319
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,281
Only if you don't
share them with me.
320
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,075
The resolution is spectacular.
321
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,785
So they're reality
show celebrities?
322
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,286
I don't think
the word celebrity
323
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,746
really does them justice.
324
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,373
More like nobility.
325
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:24,499
Royalty.
326
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:25,917
Nailed it, Mary Louise.
327
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,045
And didn't even have
to ask your phone.
328
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,797
I wonder if Jared
knows who they are.
329
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,465
I mean, do you have
any idea how important
330
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,134
the Johnsons are to me?
- No.
331
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:36,302
And we've been together a while,
so I find that a little weird.
332
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:37,804
Yeah.
333
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:38,972
Sorry for bingeing the
last season without you.
334
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:40,473
I just thought you
wouldn't understand.
335
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:41,516
No, I actually really
don't understand.
336
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:42,517
Can you enlighten me?
- I can.
337
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:43,810
They're my holiday idols, OK?
338
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,937
They set the bar for
suburban Santology.
339
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,731
Can you imagine the
roof cred they're going
340
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,232
to bring to Evergreen Lane?
- Roof cred?
341
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,984
Is that a good thing?
- It's the best thing.
342
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:52,777
I got to call your dad.
- Oh, I told him.
343
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,154
And I told him you'd call him
after you got your project
344
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,155
sorted with the Millers.
345
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:55,822
Oh, the Millers.
346
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:57,323
Yeah, the Millers.
347
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,242
You know, the reason you
had to miss the HOA today.
348
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,035
Yes.
Yeah.
349
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,411
Yeah.
Yeah.
350
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:02,996
In fact, I'm all done with that.
Isn't that great?
351
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,205
That's great because now
you can focus on the HOA
352
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,750
and making sure that
Christmas is perfect.
353
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,835
Now that the Jolly
Johnsons are moving in,
354
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,462
it's going be more than perfect.
355
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:13,298
I don't think anything can
be more perfect than perfect.
356
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,967
Just you wait.
357
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:16,634
Oh.
358
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,469
This is great.
359
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,345
All right.
360
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,679
Dun, dun, da, dah.
361
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,514
What do you think of
this year's choices?
362
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,183
Am I still Santa?
363
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,768
Of course.
364
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,520
Well, it's more
perfect than perfect.
365
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,398
I love it.
366
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,359
What do you mean distracted?
367
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,070
Well, he just has so much on
his plate already with the HOA,
368
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,654
I'm just worried that these
new neighbors are going
369
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,031
to throw him off his game.
370
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,991
I told him to keep
it simple yesterday.
371
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,534
Wait.
You saw him yesterday?
372
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:43,119
Yeah, it was totally random.
373
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,788
I saw him--
374
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,539
I saw him, and we talked not
about anything important.
375
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:48,041
Just like small talk.
376
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:49,167
Christmas stuff.
377
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,585
Where were you?
378
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,712
At the-- the store, the
grocery store, Smiths.
379
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,172
Yeah, we just bumped
into each other.
380
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,715
I literally just
stocked his fridge.
381
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,509
He was getting lunch.
382
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,468
Yeah, at the deli.
383
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,095
He was getting a sandwich.
384
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,680
And I was telling him, keep
it simple with the sandwich,
385
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,223
Jared.
386
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,683
You know how he gets the
meats, and the cheeses,
387
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:05,725
and the toppings?
388
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,102
He's like mayo, mustard, onions.
389
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,730
It's not about the sandwich.
390
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,065
What it is about is
the family moving in.
391
00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:13,274
I really think that
it's going to help
392
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:14,734
keep him less distracted.
393
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,861
Well, I think it's
having the opposite effect.
394
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,863
He was rehearsing for two
hours yesterday how he's
395
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,073
going to greet them tomorrow.
396
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,783
He did?
397
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:23,410
Yes, for accents, costume
changes, musical numbers.
398
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,494
- Oh, god.
- I know.
399
00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:26,079
It's getting intense.
400
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,248
Maybe having a family as
jolly as the Johnsons will help
401
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:31,042
keep him inspired to
really crush Christmas.
402
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,128
In a neighborhood
as intense as ours,
403
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,423
I'm a little worried about what
exactly is going to be crushed.
404
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,298
I'm worried too.
405
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,091
Right?
406
00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:38,842
Yeah.
407
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,302
[cheery music]
408
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,846
What'd you bring?
409
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,140
My famous peppermint bark.
410
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,307
Power move.
411
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,851
I like it.
JARED: A pleasure to meet you.
412
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:48,893
Wait.
You're not English.
413
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:49,978
Let's do formal.
No, no, no.
414
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,521
It's great to meet you too.
415
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:52,772
Why would it be
great to meet me?
416
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:53,606
I'm a nobody.
417
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:54,566
They're famous.
418
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,400
What are you doing?
419
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:56,609
What?
420
00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,653
Loosening up.
421
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,447
Jared, they're just
people like you and me.
422
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:01,322
Just be yourself.
423
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,866
I can't.
424
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:04,659
Myself is lightheaded,
and my vision's blurry.
425
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:05,493
It's OK.
426
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,540
NED: We have a visual.
427
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:14,461
Prepare to engage
full jolliness.
428
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:15,295
Let's go.
429
00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,047
Here they come.
430
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:18,757
Bob, try not to
talk too much, OK?
431
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:19,758
All right.
432
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,844
[cheery music]
433
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,811
I'm telling you,
they just pulled in.
434
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:32,854
They're here.
435
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,483
You're in my shot.
436
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,859
OK.
437
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,486
Ned, nobody cares
about your home videos.
438
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,029
I'm FaceTiming my Aunt Kathy.
439
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,323
But this is going
on the time capsule.
440
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:44,949
You're a time capsule.
441
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:46,159
Get a load of this.
442
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,786
It's a bona fide
welcoming committee.
443
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,287
Welcome.
444
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,831
Don't mind me, just
documenting for posterity.
445
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:52,999
Eat it, Aunt Kathy.
446
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,335
Now do you believe me?
447
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:56,336
I'm sorry.
448
00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:57,671
I hate to do this.
449
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,714
But can you please
put the cameras away?
450
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,883
We feel sheepish
even saying this.
451
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:04,511
But all media requests have
to go through our agent.
452
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:05,303
Of course.
453
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,304
No problemo.
454
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,430
So silly of us.
455
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:08,348
Hey.
456
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:09,057
I'm Emily.
457
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:09,933
I live right next door.
458
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:10,850
And this is Jared.
459
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:12,519
He is our HOA president.
460
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,603
Great to meet you both.
461
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:16,856
Likewise.
462
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:19,651
Is something
wrong with his face?
463
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,027
He's just a big fan.
464
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,737
Oh, that is so sweet.
465
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,406
Don't treat us any differently.
466
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,158
We are a normal family
just like anyone else.
467
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,369
We don't want any
special treatment.
468
00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:33,164
So tell me, Mr. Pres, what's
the most important thing we need
469
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,208
to know about Evergreen Lane?
470
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:36,084
Oh.
471
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:40,171
Uh, I'm glad you asked, Joe.
472
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,007
I think the most
important thing is to know
473
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,967
that we're all a family here.
474
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:47,012
And we are here for each
other, no matter what.
475
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,431
That is the best beppermint
park you've ever had.
476
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,557
That wasn't right, was it?
477
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:52,726
Peppermint bark is what I meant.
478
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,352
- We know you did, buddy.
- You OK?
479
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,145
You got this?
480
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,688
You want to take it again?
481
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,523
We make sure we make
Christmas as great as possible
482
00:14:58,565 --> 00:14:59,816
for as many people as possible.
483
00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:02,694
And we faithfully
abide by the well-crafted
484
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:07,157
rules and regulations of
our homeowners association.
485
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:08,908
It's a special edition.
486
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,161
Hand-sewn with vegan
pleather and a foreword
487
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:13,913
written by me, Pamela Bevans.
488
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,958
[cheery music]
489
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:20,462
It really is our honor
to welcome you to Evergreen
490
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:21,963
Lane and its esteemed HOA.
491
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:23,631
We actually have
a meeting tomorrow.
492
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,425
I know you only just arrived,
so if you need to get settled,
493
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:26,885
we understand.
- Oh, we'll be there.
494
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,178
Oh, great.
495
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,304
And you're just in
time because we're
496
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,263
going to light the
famous Evergreen
497
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,431
Lane Christmas tree tonight.
498
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,016
That little guy?
499
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,559
It's bigger in the picture,
isn't it, sweetheart?
500
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:35,935
But it'll do.
501
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,270
Either way, we'll be there.
Right, gang?
502
00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,146
Yeah.
503
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,773
You bet.
504
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,524
In the meantime,
enjoy the cheery
505
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,234
charity of Santa's Helpers.
506
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,445
And we'll have you guys moved
in in two wrinkles of the nose.
507
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:47,072
That will be a
lifesaver, especially when
508
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,323
the second truck gets here.
509
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,532
Two trucks?
510
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,368
That's over 100 cubic
meters of furniture.
511
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:54,287
Oh, the second truck
is just for decorations.
512
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:55,413
You have an--
513
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,165
an entire truck
dedicated to Christmas?
514
00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,249
Not just Christmas.
515
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,668
Thanksgiving.
- Flag Day.
516
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:00,502
Memorial Day.
517
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:01,378
Labor Day.
518
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:02,420
Valentine's Day.
519
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,631
We even have
something for leap year.
520
00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:06,966
Wee!
521
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:09,427
I'm in the presence
of greatness.
522
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,513
Well, we'd love to have
you guys over for dinner
523
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,723
if you have a free
night sometime soon.
524
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,475
How's 7:00 PM sharp tomorrow?
525
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,268
Jimmy has rehearsal
for Christmas Carol,
526
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,937
so it'll just be the two of us.
527
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,939
And I'll send you my
list of allergens.
528
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:21,731
OK, great.
529
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:22,607
Great.
530
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:23,525
Yeah.
531
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:24,776
Thank you.
532
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:25,860
Thank you.
533
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,153
Yeah, in the bathroom.
534
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:31,157
That's the living room.
535
00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:32,492
Thank you so much.
JANE: In the second living room.
536
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:33,326
Yeah, thank you.
537
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:34,202
Oh, for sure.
538
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,458
Oh.
539
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,544
What a nice welcome.
540
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,587
I think we may have
really hit the jackpot
541
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,006
as far as neighborhoods go.
542
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,716
Not as good as yours, Mom.
543
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,217
Thanks, sweetie.
544
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,802
I'm looking forward to
getting to know everyone.
545
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:53,179
I just hope that they aren't
offended by how enthusiastic
546
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,056
we are about Christmas.
547
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,225
Yeah, maybe we should ease
into it a little bit, just
548
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,978
so we don't show
everybody up right away.
549
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:03,106
[laughter]
550
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:07,694
MARY LOUISE: (SINGING) Johnny
wants a pair of skates.
551
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,988
Suzy wants a dolly.
552
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,115
Nellie wants a storybook.
553
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:14,576
She thinks dolls are folly.
554
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:19,247
As for me, my little
brain isn't very bright.
555
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:24,419
Choose for me, dear Santa
Claus what you think is right.
556
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:27,422
[cheering]
557
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,257
Bravo.
558
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,095
Oh.
Come on, guys.
559
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,722
Give it up again
for Mary Louise.
560
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:38,516
[cheering]
561
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,143
Jolly, indeed.
562
00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,937
Speaking of jolly, I have
a very special announcement
563
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,482
to make to all of
you, the newest
564
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:49,194
members of Evergreen
Lane, Joe, Jane,
565
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,488
and Jimmy Johnson of
the Jolly Johnsons.
566
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:54,449
[cheering]
567
00:17:57,786 --> 00:18:00,080
So as you guys know, at
the beginning of December,
568
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,290
we light the Evergreen
Lane Christmas tree.
569
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:03,875
You didn't last year.
570
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,418
We absolutely lit
it last year, Ned.
571
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,795
Two weeks late.
572
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:08,588
You have to let it go, Ned.
You have to let it go.
573
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,215
We have to move on from this.
- Please.
574
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,716
He still can't get
over Watergate.
575
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:12,801
He was framed.
576
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:13,927
- Oh, was he?
- Moving on.
577
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,261
Thank you guys for being here.
578
00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:18,139
As your HOA president,
I want to assure you
579
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:20,600
that these festivities are
going to be as wonderful,
580
00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:22,560
if not more wonderful
than last year.
581
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,729
Also, there will be
a meeting 9:00 AM
582
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,940
tomorrow to discuss
further festivities
583
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,483
at the lovely Pamela's house.
584
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,944
It's a shoes-off
house, people,
585
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:33,238
so please plan accordingly.
586
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,280
You know who you are.
587
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,116
JARED: OK, let's
light this tree.
588
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:39,035
[cheering]
589
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:42,205
[festive rock music]
590
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:49,170
[cheering]
591
00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:01,641
When I say jolly,
you say Johnsons.
592
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:02,726
Jolly.
ALL: Johnsons.
593
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:03,601
JOE: Jolly.
594
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,686
ALL: Johnsons.
595
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:06,187
When I say merry,
you say Christmas.
596
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,480
Merry.
ALL: Christmas.
597
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:08,148
Merry.
598
00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,232
ALL: Christmas.
599
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:13,778
JOHNSONS: Jolly Johnsons!
600
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,573
[cheering]
601
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,829
Hello, Evergreen Lane.
602
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,582
[cheering]
603
00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:28,626
I'm so excited to be here
for Christmas this year.
604
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:33,882
And we are so thankful
for the warm welcome.
605
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:38,136
And we can't wait to celebrate
the holidays with all of you.
606
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:41,014
But first--
607
00:19:41,056 --> 00:19:42,974
Honey, it's their
Christmas tree lighting.
608
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:43,808
[laughter]
609
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,143
I'm so sorry.
610
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:48,271
I didn't mean to upstage anyone.
611
00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:50,023
Sorry about that.
612
00:19:50,065 --> 00:19:51,941
Goes like that or something?
613
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:53,651
I'm so sorry.
614
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,861
Let's get this lit!
615
00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:57,864
[cheering]
616
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:01,951
Happy holidays.
617
00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:04,788
OK, let's count it down.
618
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:08,208
ALL: 3 2, 1.
619
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:10,752
[cheering]
620
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:15,215
All right.
621
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,883
Well, that was a cute start.
622
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:20,512
But are you guys ready to
really get this party started?
623
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,931
[cheering]
624
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,892
[festive music]
625
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:42,158
Can you believe this?
626
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,286
[excited chatter]
627
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:55,171
PAMELA: I want to
show you something.
628
00:20:55,213 --> 00:20:56,715
JANE: Oh, OK.
629
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,633
PAMELA: So my great
grandmother, who
630
00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:00,760
taught me everything
I know about crafting,
631
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:04,389
felted this stocking
when she was 97.
632
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:07,225
Oh, she used a seed
stitch to finish.
633
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:08,601
Pretty unusual,
don't you think?
634
00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:10,520
She should have used a
rip stitch because that
635
00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:12,105
would have held up better.
636
00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:12,981
Oh.
637
00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:15,275
JANE: Yeah.
638
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:16,568
Hey, do you want
to see how much
639
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,611
room we can get between us?
640
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:19,988
I'm used to sitting in coach.
641
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:20,864
OK.
642
00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:21,865
I'm not.
643
00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:22,991
Sorry.
644
00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:24,284
JARED: OK, let's get started.
- Oh.
645
00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:25,285
We're going to start?
646
00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:26,786
You know what?
647
00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:28,663
She was-- she was older,
so her eyesight was going.
648
00:21:28,705 --> 00:21:30,457
She probably did a--
a lot of big stitches.
649
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:31,750
You know what?
650
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,168
She's not my favorite
grandma, anyway.
651
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:34,711
She's made a lot of bad choices.
- I can see that.
652
00:21:34,753 --> 00:21:35,628
- Belinda, move please.
- Excuse me.
653
00:21:35,670 --> 00:21:37,339
It's my house, all right?
654
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:38,673
I just want to sit here.
655
00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:40,091
Yeah, you're right.
I'll take it down.
656
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,676
Hey, everybody.
657
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:44,304
Thank you so much for being
here, especially you two.
658
00:21:44,346 --> 00:21:45,638
Keep it together, Jared.
659
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,557
OK, we've really made
an effort to expand
660
00:21:47,599 --> 00:21:49,476
this year's Christmas
Carnival, tried to invite
661
00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:51,102
as many people as possible.
662
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:53,313
And Emily has really come up
with some great activities
663
00:21:53,355 --> 00:21:54,147
for the kids.
664
00:21:54,189 --> 00:21:55,065
Right, babe?
665
00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:56,649
That's right, babe.
666
00:21:56,691 --> 00:21:59,611
We are going to have a Christmas
craft house and a cookie
667
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,112
decorating station.
668
00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:02,655
And of course, we're going
to have the annual toy
669
00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:04,240
drive for the community.
670
00:22:04,282 --> 00:22:05,367
Thank you so much, Belinda,
for spearheading that.
671
00:22:05,408 --> 00:22:06,951
Oh, it's my pleasure.
672
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:09,329
Yes, and to expand on that
some brand new activities
673
00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:10,622
leading up to the big day.
674
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:11,873
I've had to rework
the schedule just a bit,
675
00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:13,375
but I think I
figured it all out.
676
00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:15,377
So on the 20th,
in the morning, we
677
00:22:15,418 --> 00:22:16,836
are going to have
the cookie contest
678
00:22:16,878 --> 00:22:20,340
followed by the snowman
tableau/snowball fight.
679
00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:21,508
[jane clears throat]
Oh.
680
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:22,717
Yes, Jane?
681
00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:24,052
Isn't that usually
the next day?
682
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:25,512
Yes, you're right.
683
00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:26,721
But I had to move some
things around to make
684
00:22:26,763 --> 00:22:28,098
room for our new event--
685
00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:32,394
get ready-- the sleigh
ride around the loop.
686
00:22:32,435 --> 00:22:34,604
The kids are going to love it.
- It's going to be so fun.
687
00:22:34,646 --> 00:22:36,064
EMILY: Joe, yes?
688
00:22:36,106 --> 00:22:37,273
What about the bakers
who also want to compete
689
00:22:37,315 --> 00:22:38,650
in the snowball fight?
690
00:22:38,692 --> 00:22:39,776
Aren't you worried
about finger fatigue?
691
00:22:39,818 --> 00:22:41,152
JANE: Yeah, it's a real thing.
692
00:22:41,194 --> 00:22:43,822
The crafting world is
very concerned about it.
693
00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:45,949
I really don't think
that baking a few cookies
694
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:47,617
is going to, you
know, kick anybody
695
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:48,868
out of the snowball fight.
696
00:22:48,910 --> 00:22:50,829
It's not so much
the baking, actually.
697
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:52,914
It's the decorating
that really gets you.
698
00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:54,541
JANE: Yes, he's right.
He's so right.
699
00:22:54,582 --> 00:22:55,834
I mean--
- Oh, that's a great example.
700
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:56,876
Look at her hands.
- Wait.
701
00:22:56,918 --> 00:22:57,836
What?
Why?
702
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,212
- The chapped knuckles.
- Oh.
703
00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:00,547
I see what-- I
see what he means.
704
00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:01,673
JANE: I mean, they're large.
705
00:23:01,715 --> 00:23:02,549
Let's be nice.
OK.
706
00:23:02,590 --> 00:23:04,050
You know what?
707
00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:05,719
I'm going to-- I'm going
to think about all that.
708
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:06,678
But for now, plan on both
of them being on the 20th.
709
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,304
[jane clears throat]
710
00:23:08,346 --> 00:23:09,764
Jane, you don't really have
to keep raising your hand.
711
00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:11,307
Do you-- do you have
another question?
712
00:23:11,349 --> 00:23:12,183
I do.
713
00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:13,059
Yeah.
714
00:23:13,101 --> 00:23:14,310
So it says here--
715
00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:15,395
Where are you?
716
00:23:15,437 --> 00:23:16,730
JANE: Section two, article 4.1.
717
00:23:16,771 --> 00:23:20,442
There shall be no
limitations on the style,
718
00:23:20,483 --> 00:23:22,527
nor the ingredients of
the cookie competition.
719
00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:23,528
- That's right.
- Yeah.
720
00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:24,904
Sorry.
721
00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:26,990
My dad is just going
to lose his mind.
722
00:23:27,032 --> 00:23:28,283
Oh, I'm so sorry.
723
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,243
He should do more crossword
puzzles and Sudoku.
724
00:23:30,285 --> 00:23:31,911
Oh, no, he's fine.
725
00:23:31,953 --> 00:23:33,371
I just mean he wrote that
rule, and you just read it.
726
00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:34,456
And he's a huge fan.
727
00:23:34,497 --> 00:23:35,832
Cute.
728
00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:36,791
Can you tell him I
want to amend this one?
729
00:23:36,833 --> 00:23:38,209
What?
730
00:23:38,251 --> 00:23:39,753
Because the winner of
the cookie competition for
731
00:23:39,794 --> 00:23:41,463
the last seven years in a row--
- Thank you.
732
00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:44,466
--has been winning
on the same recipe.
733
00:23:44,507 --> 00:23:46,009
What's-- what's
wrong with that?
734
00:23:46,051 --> 00:23:49,929
Well, don't you want
to give others a chance?
735
00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:52,849
Well, maybe if others came
up with something as good
736
00:23:52,891 --> 00:23:55,810
as my pecan stockings,
then maybe others
737
00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:56,811
would have a chance.
738
00:23:56,853 --> 00:23:57,979
Right.
739
00:23:58,021 --> 00:23:59,773
But a true cookie
competition is all
740
00:23:59,814 --> 00:24:02,484
about execution and decoration.
741
00:24:02,525 --> 00:24:05,445
And we should all be
using the same recipe.
742
00:24:05,487 --> 00:24:07,238
OK, did Ned put
you up to this?
743
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,158
I have not said word one, but
Jane's got my wheels a-turning.
744
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,285
OK, says the guy who's
been gunning for my trophy
745
00:24:12,327 --> 00:24:13,953
since he had hair.
746
00:24:13,995 --> 00:24:15,497
Hey, it's what's in the
head, not what's on the head.
747
00:24:15,538 --> 00:24:16,956
Yeah, well both lacking.
748
00:24:16,998 --> 00:24:18,416
Guys.
749
00:24:18,458 --> 00:24:19,751
Guys, I can assure you,
there's no collusion going on.
750
00:24:19,793 --> 00:24:21,044
We're just trying
to ensure parity
751
00:24:21,086 --> 00:24:22,921
in the cookie competition.
- Parity.
752
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:26,466
Yes, and all the elite HOAs,
they have similar stipulations.
753
00:24:26,508 --> 00:24:27,842
OK, well we are an elite.
754
00:24:27,884 --> 00:24:29,594
[all speaking at once]
755
00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:30,512
Did she say we eat?
756
00:24:30,553 --> 00:24:31,638
Elite.
757
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:32,597
Did she say we're not elite?
758
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:34,265
We've been elite.
759
00:24:34,307 --> 00:24:35,600
Your father created this HOA.
We've always been elite.
760
00:24:35,642 --> 00:24:36,893
We're like everybody else.
761
00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:38,978
We are who we are,
which is Evergreen Lane.
762
00:24:39,020 --> 00:24:40,689
And we have ways
of doing things.
763
00:24:40,730 --> 00:24:44,401
People, people, people,
it's too late in the season
764
00:24:44,442 --> 00:24:45,694
to be changing rules.
765
00:24:45,735 --> 00:24:47,362
She's right.
766
00:24:47,404 --> 00:24:50,115
Well, actually, not really
because it says right here,
767
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:54,911
section seven, article
one, contest rules are up
768
00:24:54,953 --> 00:25:00,750
for revision, provided there is
a majority of members in favor.
769
00:25:00,792 --> 00:25:01,835
Shall we put it to a vote?
770
00:25:01,876 --> 00:25:03,211
I nominate Jane Johnson.
771
00:25:03,253 --> 00:25:05,005
- This is not an election, Ned.
- Oh.
772
00:25:05,046 --> 00:25:06,631
Everyone in favor say, aye.
773
00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:08,049
PAMELA: OK, we're not voting.
774
00:25:08,091 --> 00:25:09,718
Jared, don't you
raise your hand.
775
00:25:09,759 --> 00:25:11,720
If you say aye,
that's the last word.
776
00:25:11,761 --> 00:25:13,930
Jared, you want to do
something about this?
777
00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:16,016
Jane makes an excellent point.
778
00:25:16,057 --> 00:25:17,767
But I do think it would be--
779
00:25:17,809 --> 00:25:19,394
(WHISPERS) Unwise.
780
00:25:19,436 --> 00:25:23,440
--unwise to have a rule
change without everyone present.
781
00:25:23,481 --> 00:25:24,357
Right.
782
00:25:24,399 --> 00:25:25,442
Everyone is present.
783
00:25:25,483 --> 00:25:27,527
I meant everyone has presence.
784
00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:28,945
Yes.
785
00:25:28,987 --> 00:25:30,488
Like at my annual
white elephant party.
786
00:25:30,530 --> 00:25:32,115
But that's after
the cookie contest.
787
00:25:32,157 --> 00:25:32,907
Ned, nobody cares.
788
00:25:32,949 --> 00:25:34,451
Time is an illusion.
789
00:25:34,492 --> 00:25:39,956
[all speaking at once]
790
00:25:39,998 --> 00:25:43,918
Section seven, article one,
point C, any and all changes
791
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,129
made to the events,
contest, or rules
792
00:25:46,171 --> 00:25:52,719
are to be determined before the
annual tree lighting ceremony.
793
00:25:52,761 --> 00:25:54,054
Yes, we can't.
794
00:25:54,095 --> 00:25:55,430
I wish we could change
it, but we can't.
795
00:25:55,472 --> 00:25:56,514
So if I win, I win.
796
00:26:00,268 --> 00:26:01,394
Thank you, babe.
797
00:26:01,436 --> 00:26:02,645
I am so glad you
remembered that.
798
00:26:02,687 --> 00:26:04,022
Your dad would have
loved us so much.
799
00:26:04,064 --> 00:26:05,440
Do you think the
Johnsons were impressed?
800
00:26:05,482 --> 00:26:06,566
I think they were impressed.
801
00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:07,901
I was impressed.
802
00:26:07,942 --> 00:26:09,110
I really wish this
was on videotape.
803
00:26:09,152 --> 00:26:11,029
I just think it's
your first HOA meeting.
804
00:26:11,071 --> 00:26:12,364
Just come and make
nice, you know?
805
00:26:12,405 --> 00:26:14,157
Uh-huh.
806
00:26:14,199 --> 00:26:15,283
I mean, I barely got through
one day of the holiday calendar
807
00:26:15,325 --> 00:26:16,659
before she hijacks
the whole meeting
808
00:26:16,701 --> 00:26:18,745
to talk about changing
the HOA rules,
809
00:26:18,787 --> 00:26:20,330
rules that my father wrote.
810
00:26:20,372 --> 00:26:21,581
One horse, two horse, four.
811
00:26:21,623 --> 00:26:22,707
Why can't I have three horses?
812
00:26:22,749 --> 00:26:24,959
What'd you say?
813
00:26:25,001 --> 00:26:26,753
Nothing.
814
00:26:26,795 --> 00:26:28,046
About what?
815
00:26:28,088 --> 00:26:29,255
What do you think
about what I said?
816
00:26:29,297 --> 00:26:30,340
I agree 100%.
817
00:26:30,382 --> 00:26:31,591
So what should we do?
818
00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:32,592
About what?
819
00:26:32,634 --> 00:26:33,551
Jared, about the Johnsons.
820
00:26:33,593 --> 00:26:34,427
Oh.
821
00:26:34,469 --> 00:26:35,929
Uh, right.
822
00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:38,765
Look, I think we just give
'em a minute, you know?
823
00:26:38,807 --> 00:26:40,308
She was probably just nervous.
824
00:26:40,350 --> 00:26:42,394
You remember your
first HOA meeting.
825
00:26:42,435 --> 00:26:43,645
Yeah.
826
00:26:43,687 --> 00:26:45,480
I think I showed
up in my pajamas.
827
00:26:45,522 --> 00:26:47,232
I was super Grinchy.
828
00:26:47,273 --> 00:26:48,108
And look at you now.
829
00:26:48,149 --> 00:26:49,275
Aww.
830
00:26:49,317 --> 00:26:50,568
Just don't ever let
me be a Grinch, OK?
831
00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:52,153
Oh, you, I'm
not worried about.
832
00:26:52,195 --> 00:26:55,532
I think your little heart
grew four sizes at Christmas.
833
00:26:55,573 --> 00:26:56,908
All right.
834
00:26:56,950 --> 00:26:57,909
They're going to be
here in 10 minutes.
835
00:26:57,951 --> 00:26:59,285
I really need your help.
836
00:26:59,327 --> 00:27:00,954
You invited them to dinner.
That's right.
837
00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:01,830
Yeah.
You didn't forget, did you?
838
00:27:01,871 --> 00:27:03,331
No, I didn't forget.
839
00:27:03,373 --> 00:27:04,499
I think I was just in
shock that they said yes.
840
00:27:04,541 --> 00:27:06,042
I should change.
Do I smell?
841
00:27:06,084 --> 00:27:07,002
I should probably wear
something more formal, right?
842
00:27:07,043 --> 00:27:08,545
You look great.
Just breathe.
843
00:27:08,586 --> 00:27:10,213
And bring the appetizers to
the rotunda room, please.
844
00:27:10,255 --> 00:27:11,756
I have to powder
my buche de Noel.
845
00:27:11,798 --> 00:27:12,674
OK.
846
00:27:12,716 --> 00:27:15,677
[doorbell rings]
847
00:27:15,719 --> 00:27:18,430
They're here.
848
00:27:18,471 --> 00:27:20,890
You ready?
849
00:27:20,932 --> 00:27:21,891
This is a panic attack.
850
00:27:21,933 --> 00:27:24,644
I'm having a panic attack.
851
00:27:24,686 --> 00:27:25,645
Hi.
852
00:27:25,687 --> 00:27:26,771
[cheering]
853
00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:27,814
EMILY: Come on in.
854
00:27:27,856 --> 00:27:28,815
- This is for you.
- Oh.
855
00:27:28,857 --> 00:27:29,649
Thank you so much.
Here.
856
00:27:29,691 --> 00:27:30,859
Take off your coats.
857
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:32,068
We're going to have
some appetizers.
858
00:27:32,110 --> 00:27:33,611
That is what I
call a buche de Noel.
859
00:27:33,653 --> 00:27:34,696
Well, what do you
call what I made?
860
00:27:34,738 --> 00:27:35,655
This is great, honey.
861
00:27:35,697 --> 00:27:37,282
But look how buche-y it is.
862
00:27:37,323 --> 00:27:38,992
You know, Jane gets so
carried away with her piping,
863
00:27:39,034 --> 00:27:40,410
I haven't seen her
since yesterday.
864
00:27:40,452 --> 00:27:42,037
Oh.
865
00:27:42,078 --> 00:27:44,372
You have been just as busy
decorating the house all day
866
00:27:44,414 --> 00:27:46,666
trying to upstage
the new neighbors.
867
00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:48,126
OK, it's true.
868
00:27:48,168 --> 00:27:50,628
I have a little bit of
a competitive streak.
869
00:27:50,670 --> 00:27:51,963
Oh.
870
00:27:52,005 --> 00:27:52,922
It's too bad Jimmy
couldn't make it.
871
00:27:52,964 --> 00:27:53,798
He's so adorable.
- Oh.
872
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:54,674
Thank you.
873
00:27:54,716 --> 00:27:56,509
He takes after me.
874
00:27:56,551 --> 00:27:58,803
Nothing wrong with a
little friendly competition.
875
00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:00,347
I mean, I was a little
bit jealous when
876
00:28:00,388 --> 00:28:01,598
you guys came up
on the stage, not
877
00:28:01,639 --> 00:28:02,891
that I didn't want you there.
878
00:28:02,932 --> 00:28:04,851
But you know, up on
the housetop, it's--
879
00:28:04,893 --> 00:28:06,186
it's kind of my song.
880
00:28:06,227 --> 00:28:07,062
Oh, is that so?
881
00:28:07,103 --> 00:28:08,605
Yeah.
882
00:28:08,646 --> 00:28:10,857
No, I mean, the whole town kind
of knows me as I'm the go-to
883
00:28:10,899 --> 00:28:12,067
Kris Kringle guy, so--
884
00:28:12,108 --> 00:28:14,694
A fellow NSA
man, I reckon, huh?
885
00:28:14,736 --> 00:28:16,071
NSA?
886
00:28:16,112 --> 00:28:18,698
Norwegian Santa's
Academy, class of '02.
887
00:28:18,740 --> 00:28:20,825
What year were you?
888
00:28:20,867 --> 00:28:22,369
I-- I didn't
graduate from there.
889
00:28:22,410 --> 00:28:23,536
I've never heard of it.
890
00:28:23,578 --> 00:28:24,746
I'm not surprised.
891
00:28:24,788 --> 00:28:26,373
The program's
invite only, so only
892
00:28:26,414 --> 00:28:28,124
a very small percentage
of the population
893
00:28:28,166 --> 00:28:29,417
even knows it exists.
894
00:28:29,459 --> 00:28:31,127
Honey, stop bragging.
895
00:28:31,169 --> 00:28:35,715
I'm sure Jared cares about
Santa in his own special way.
896
00:28:35,757 --> 00:28:37,092
So what were we
talking about again?
897
00:28:37,133 --> 00:28:39,052
Oh, yes.
Jimmy wanted to be here tonight.
898
00:28:39,094 --> 00:28:42,347
But when news of us moving
into the area caught on,
899
00:28:42,389 --> 00:28:45,558
the Hale Center Theater reached
out to him with the iconic role
900
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:46,393
of Tiny Tim.
901
00:28:46,434 --> 00:28:47,769
That's great.
902
00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:49,270
I auditioned for Tiny
Tim when I was his age.
903
00:28:49,312 --> 00:28:51,898
Oh, no, no, no, he
didn't have to audition.
904
00:28:51,940 --> 00:28:55,819
Have you seen how many
followers he has on TikTok?
905
00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:58,738
That production is
lucky to have him.
906
00:28:58,780 --> 00:28:59,656
Oh, I bet.
JOE: Hey.
907
00:28:59,698 --> 00:29:01,116
Listen.
908
00:29:01,157 --> 00:29:03,326
I need to apologize
for embarrassing you.
909
00:29:03,368 --> 00:29:05,745
That's technically against the
Kringle Creed, so I'm sorry.
910
00:29:05,787 --> 00:29:06,746
No, no, no.
911
00:29:06,788 --> 00:29:08,039
No-- no need to apologize.
912
00:29:08,081 --> 00:29:09,624
I'm really read up
on the North Pole.
913
00:29:09,666 --> 00:29:13,003
I mean, it's probably the
exact same curriculum, so--
914
00:29:13,044 --> 00:29:14,379
OK.
EMILY: Hey.
915
00:29:14,421 --> 00:29:16,089
You know what?
Why don't we have a drink.
916
00:29:16,131 --> 00:29:17,841
Jared makes the most wonderful
candy cane cocktails.
917
00:29:17,882 --> 00:29:19,009
I do.
Yeah.
918
00:29:19,050 --> 00:29:19,801
Oh, you do, huh?
919
00:29:19,843 --> 00:29:21,428
Yeah.
920
00:29:21,469 --> 00:29:23,096
How long do you infuse
your vodka with peppermint?
921
00:29:23,138 --> 00:29:26,516
I just use a dash of schnapps.
922
00:29:26,558 --> 00:29:27,642
Interesting.
923
00:29:27,684 --> 00:29:28,643
I infuse for four weeks.
924
00:29:28,685 --> 00:29:29,561
Oh.
925
00:29:29,602 --> 00:29:31,271
I have an idea.
926
00:29:31,312 --> 00:29:33,481
What if we mix them both up and
do a little taste test, huh?
927
00:29:33,523 --> 00:29:35,442
What a great idea.
928
00:29:35,483 --> 00:29:36,151
All right.
929
00:29:36,192 --> 00:29:38,194
OK, off with your head.
930
00:29:38,236 --> 00:29:39,779
Oh, these are
very cheap glasses.
931
00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:41,114
They're very cheap.
932
00:29:41,156 --> 00:29:42,907
They're glass,
though, surprisingly.
933
00:29:42,949 --> 00:29:44,909
All right.
934
00:29:44,951 --> 00:29:47,495
Let's start with the good stuff.
935
00:29:47,537 --> 00:29:48,872
Wow.
936
00:29:48,913 --> 00:29:51,291
This is, uh-- this
is going to be fun.
937
00:29:51,332 --> 00:29:52,584
The funnest.
938
00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:53,918
Cheers.
939
00:30:02,177 --> 00:30:03,595
ended up being a nice dinner.
- See?
940
00:30:03,636 --> 00:30:05,138
First impressions
aren't everything.
941
00:30:05,180 --> 00:30:06,431
I guess if they
were, Jared and I
942
00:30:06,473 --> 00:30:07,807
probably wouldn't be together.
943
00:30:07,849 --> 00:30:09,017
That's for certain.
944
00:30:09,059 --> 00:30:10,185
They're just so
crazy competitive.
945
00:30:10,226 --> 00:30:11,394
It's like every
single thing we said
946
00:30:11,436 --> 00:30:12,520
had to be one-upped by them.
947
00:30:12,562 --> 00:30:14,356
- Sounds exhausting.
- It is.
948
00:30:14,397 --> 00:30:16,316
I mean, I guess, the fame
has really gone to their head.
949
00:30:16,358 --> 00:30:18,485
Their show is on cable TV,
like, deep cable, a cable
950
00:30:18,526 --> 00:30:19,986
channel nobody's ever heard of.
951
00:30:20,028 --> 00:30:21,821
Well, other than the
entire neighborhood
952
00:30:21,863 --> 00:30:22,989
and your whole family.
953
00:30:23,031 --> 00:30:24,324
And my nana from Buffalo.
954
00:30:24,366 --> 00:30:25,658
I had never seen one
episode of this show
955
00:30:25,700 --> 00:30:27,369
before Jared made
me binge watch three
956
00:30:27,410 --> 00:30:31,581
seasons of that insane over
the top madness of a show.
957
00:30:31,623 --> 00:30:32,874
[happy music]
958
00:30:32,916 --> 00:30:34,334
Hi.
959
00:30:34,376 --> 00:30:35,502
Hi.
960
00:30:35,543 --> 00:30:36,753
I was-- I was just
talking about you.
961
00:30:36,795 --> 00:30:38,004
Yeah, I get that a lot.
962
00:30:38,046 --> 00:30:39,255
This is my best friend, Jess.
963
00:30:39,297 --> 00:30:41,049
Jess, this is our
new neighbor, Jane.
964
00:30:41,091 --> 00:30:42,967
Can I get a selfie
with you, actually?
965
00:30:43,009 --> 00:30:44,803
Of course.
966
00:30:44,844 --> 00:30:47,514
Christmas cheer.
967
00:30:47,555 --> 00:30:48,848
Thank you.
968
00:30:48,890 --> 00:30:51,685
We were just out shopping.
969
00:30:51,726 --> 00:30:53,436
What's up?
970
00:30:53,478 --> 00:30:56,731
I just wanted to come by and
say last night was so lovely.
971
00:30:56,773 --> 00:30:57,816
Thank you again.
972
00:30:57,857 --> 00:30:59,234
We had a great time too.
973
00:30:59,275 --> 00:31:00,902
And when I got
home, I was thinking,
974
00:31:00,944 --> 00:31:03,530
you know, at that HOA
meeting, you didn't really get
975
00:31:03,571 --> 00:31:06,074
a chance to finish talking
about the schedule changes
976
00:31:06,116 --> 00:31:06,866
you wanted to.
977
00:31:06,908 --> 00:31:07,701
Oh.
978
00:31:07,742 --> 00:31:08,993
Right.
979
00:31:09,035 --> 00:31:11,538
You know, I will
leave you two to it.
980
00:31:11,579 --> 00:31:13,748
What?
981
00:31:13,790 --> 00:31:14,624
I can stay.
982
00:31:14,666 --> 00:31:15,375
You should.
983
00:31:15,417 --> 00:31:16,710
I made a new schedule.
984
00:31:16,751 --> 00:31:17,836
Yeah.
985
00:31:17,877 --> 00:31:19,587
Now, I never really saw yours.
986
00:31:19,629 --> 00:31:21,881
But from what I gathered,
I think we can both agree
987
00:31:21,923 --> 00:31:23,842
that mine is much cleaner.
988
00:31:23,883 --> 00:31:25,218
Cleaner.
989
00:31:25,260 --> 00:31:27,262
I added a bunch of
fun new activities,
990
00:31:27,303 --> 00:31:30,056
a lot of competitions to
really spice things up.
991
00:31:30,098 --> 00:31:31,641
That's the thing.
992
00:31:31,683 --> 00:31:33,476
I don't really think
Christmas is a spicy holiday.
993
00:31:33,518 --> 00:31:34,519
Don't limit yourself.
994
00:31:34,561 --> 00:31:35,854
You really need to think big.
995
00:31:35,895 --> 00:31:37,105
Do I, though?
996
00:31:37,147 --> 00:31:38,815
So I added this
speed wrapping race
997
00:31:38,857 --> 00:31:41,192
in between the cookie contest
and the snowman tableau.
998
00:31:41,234 --> 00:31:41,985
I'm sorry.
999
00:31:42,027 --> 00:31:42,902
Speed wrapping?
1000
00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:43,945
For presents.
1001
00:31:43,987 --> 00:31:45,572
It'll be so much fun.
1002
00:31:45,613 --> 00:31:47,741
And then I also added
an ice sculpture
1003
00:31:47,782 --> 00:31:49,993
competition and a
best decorations
1004
00:31:50,035 --> 00:31:51,578
contest Christmas Eve.
1005
00:31:51,619 --> 00:31:53,204
Why don't you email
me the schedule,
1006
00:31:53,246 --> 00:31:54,330
and then I'll run it by Jared.
1007
00:31:54,372 --> 00:31:55,790
And I'll get back to you.
1008
00:31:55,832 --> 00:31:58,501
I already emailed the
entire HOA this morning,
1009
00:31:58,543 --> 00:32:00,003
so it should be in your inbox.
1010
00:32:00,045 --> 00:32:01,629
You did?
1011
00:32:01,671 --> 00:32:04,174
And everyone loved it,
according to the online survey
1012
00:32:04,215 --> 00:32:05,258
that I sent as well.
1013
00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:06,509
I guess I better
check my inbox.
1014
00:32:06,551 --> 00:32:08,011
- Yeah.
- I'll get right on that.
1015
00:32:08,053 --> 00:32:08,887
Great.
1016
00:32:11,681 --> 00:32:13,433
Cute little
nutcracker, by the way.
1017
00:32:13,475 --> 00:32:14,976
I wouldn't really
call it little.
1018
00:32:15,018 --> 00:32:16,353
Oh, you would if you were me.
1019
00:32:21,649 --> 00:32:22,817
Looking good.
1020
00:32:22,859 --> 00:32:25,779
So what's your take
on second impressions?
1021
00:32:25,820 --> 00:32:27,238
I, for one, am inspired.
1022
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,033
[cheery music]
1023
00:32:32,035 --> 00:32:34,037
She created a
brand new schedule
1024
00:32:34,079 --> 00:32:35,830
and sent it to everyone.
1025
00:32:35,872 --> 00:32:37,415
The nerve of some people.
1026
00:32:37,457 --> 00:32:38,750
Did you read it?
Be honest.
1027
00:32:38,792 --> 00:32:39,376
I can take it.
1028
00:32:39,417 --> 00:32:40,919
What'd you think?
1029
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,129
There was way too much
competition for my taste.
1030
00:32:43,171 --> 00:32:44,297
Thank you.
1031
00:32:44,339 --> 00:32:47,509
The speed wrapping
idea, I liked.
1032
00:32:47,550 --> 00:32:48,176
Really?
1033
00:32:48,218 --> 00:32:49,803
Yeah.
1034
00:32:49,844 --> 00:32:52,305
I even downloaded Eminem's
Christmas album to practice.
1035
00:32:52,347 --> 00:32:53,473
- Oh.
- Prove it.
1036
00:32:53,515 --> 00:32:54,557
(RAPPING) Through
the snow, I'm
1037
00:32:54,599 --> 00:32:56,184
dashing down the
chimney crashing
1038
00:32:56,226 --> 00:33:00,438
and looking for the cookies
that the kids been stashing.
1039
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,607
Uh, Mary Louise, I
don't think that's what
1040
00:33:02,649 --> 00:33:04,150
she meant by speed wrapping.
- Mm.
1041
00:33:04,192 --> 00:33:05,068
Mm.
1042
00:33:05,110 --> 00:33:06,069
Mm Mm.
1043
00:33:06,111 --> 00:33:08,738
I can't wait.
1044
00:33:08,780 --> 00:33:11,074
What does Jared
think about all this?
1045
00:33:11,116 --> 00:33:12,492
He's been so
preoccupied with work,
1046
00:33:12,534 --> 00:33:13,993
he hasn't had time
to deal with it.
1047
00:33:14,035 --> 00:33:17,414
But he was really impressed
with the organization.
1048
00:33:17,455 --> 00:33:18,832
He's right.
1049
00:33:18,873 --> 00:33:21,001
I mean, did you see how
she color coded time
1050
00:33:21,042 --> 00:33:22,502
slots for volunteers?
I mean--
1051
00:33:22,544 --> 00:33:23,545
OK, that's not helpful.
1052
00:33:23,586 --> 00:33:24,838
Game recognizes game.
1053
00:33:24,879 --> 00:33:26,339
So what do I do?
1054
00:33:26,381 --> 00:33:27,549
I mean, all that hard
work I did is just wasted?
1055
00:33:27,590 --> 00:33:28,591
I just give in to her?
1056
00:33:28,633 --> 00:33:30,176
You leave it to me, peaches.
1057
00:33:30,218 --> 00:33:33,346
I have dealt with my share
of Jane Johnsons in my day.
1058
00:33:33,388 --> 00:33:35,557
She just needs a little
Pamela push back,
1059
00:33:35,598 --> 00:33:38,226
and she will wilt like a
poinsettia in the summer.
1060
00:33:38,268 --> 00:33:39,060
Come on.
1061
00:33:39,102 --> 00:33:40,186
Let's do it.
1062
00:33:40,228 --> 00:33:41,187
Belinda, you got this, right?
1063
00:33:41,229 --> 00:33:42,022
Wait.
1064
00:33:42,063 --> 00:33:43,231
What?
1065
00:33:43,273 --> 00:33:44,482
So Mary Louise,
what are you going
1066
00:33:44,524 --> 00:33:45,692
to wear to this rap battle?
1067
00:33:45,734 --> 00:33:46,484
Just a minute.
1068
00:33:46,526 --> 00:33:47,861
What's going on here?
1069
00:33:47,902 --> 00:33:50,155
It looks like everyone
else is fed up too.
1070
00:33:50,196 --> 00:33:51,865
Hi, ladies.
1071
00:33:51,906 --> 00:33:53,450
Are you coming here to sign
up for a volunteer position?
1072
00:33:53,491 --> 00:33:54,951
Back of the line.
1073
00:33:54,993 --> 00:33:56,453
Cool your coveralls, Ned.
We're not in line.
1074
00:33:56,494 --> 00:33:58,121
Jane, I thought we agreed.
1075
00:33:58,163 --> 00:33:59,914
I was going to go over all of
your suggestions with Jared
1076
00:33:59,956 --> 00:34:01,249
and then get back to you.
1077
00:34:01,291 --> 00:34:03,001
Yes, but there's just
so much bureaucracy,
1078
00:34:03,043 --> 00:34:05,086
so I just thought I would
start things rolling.
1079
00:34:05,128 --> 00:34:06,504
And look, everyone's thrilled.
1080
00:34:06,546 --> 00:34:07,964
Oh, I wouldn't say everyone.
1081
00:34:08,006 --> 00:34:09,090
It's real close to everyone.
1082
00:34:09,132 --> 00:34:10,050
Ugh.
1083
00:34:12,427 --> 00:34:14,721
By the way, you three
should submit your votes for
1084
00:34:14,763 --> 00:34:16,931
the improved cookie contest.
1085
00:34:16,973 --> 00:34:18,308
Excuse me?
1086
00:34:18,350 --> 00:34:19,809
No, we discussed
this at the meeting.
1087
00:34:19,851 --> 00:34:21,686
You have missed the
deadline for changing
1088
00:34:21,728 --> 00:34:22,896
the rules of the contest.
1089
00:34:22,937 --> 00:34:24,272
True.
1090
00:34:24,314 --> 00:34:26,649
But it does say that
I can add a new event
1091
00:34:26,691 --> 00:34:29,110
any time as long
as I get a majority
1092
00:34:29,152 --> 00:34:30,695
of the members voting for it.
1093
00:34:30,737 --> 00:34:32,572
And I submitted an
online proposal,
1094
00:34:32,614 --> 00:34:33,823
and it is going great.
1095
00:34:33,865 --> 00:34:34,741
Is it close?
1096
00:34:34,783 --> 00:34:36,242
We already have
a supermajority.
1097
00:34:36,284 --> 00:34:38,161
What's the point of voting?
1098
00:34:38,203 --> 00:34:39,954
Voting isn't just a right.
1099
00:34:39,996 --> 00:34:41,164
It's a privilege.
1100
00:34:41,206 --> 00:34:43,416
Preach, sister.
1101
00:34:43,458 --> 00:34:45,251
Pamela, you got
to do something.
1102
00:34:45,293 --> 00:34:47,462
I got you.
1103
00:34:47,504 --> 00:34:50,423
Jane, I've thought
a lot about this.
1104
00:34:50,465 --> 00:34:55,428
And I have just one
question for you.
1105
00:34:55,470 --> 00:34:57,639
Is this Mesopotamian papyrus?
1106
00:34:57,681 --> 00:34:59,849
I'm glad you noticed.
1107
00:34:59,891 --> 00:35:01,518
Oh, my goodness.
1108
00:35:01,559 --> 00:35:03,603
This scroll is exquisite.
1109
00:35:03,645 --> 00:35:06,147
I mean, I've heard tell of
this in some of my studies
1110
00:35:06,189 --> 00:35:08,024
in college, but it's gorgeous.
1111
00:35:08,066 --> 00:35:09,442
Do you beat your own reeds?
1112
00:35:09,484 --> 00:35:10,860
Thank you for noticing.
1113
00:35:10,902 --> 00:35:12,487
Do you use a quill
or a metal nib?
1114
00:35:12,529 --> 00:35:15,990
I do quill, metal nib
ambidextrously, of course.
1115
00:35:16,032 --> 00:35:18,743
Oh, my god.
1116
00:35:18,785 --> 00:35:20,328
EMILY: You should
have seen Pamela.
1117
00:35:20,370 --> 00:35:21,788
She just melted like she
was standing in front
1118
00:35:21,830 --> 00:35:23,164
of the great and powerful Oz.
1119
00:35:23,206 --> 00:35:24,290
Could you blame her?
1120
00:35:24,332 --> 00:35:26,042
She's really intimidating.
1121
00:35:26,084 --> 00:35:28,169
But she did have some
really good ideas.
1122
00:35:28,211 --> 00:35:29,629
The neighborhood is excited.
1123
00:35:29,671 --> 00:35:31,464
When did her schedule
become the schedule?
1124
00:35:31,506 --> 00:35:32,298
It's not.
It's not.
1125
00:35:32,340 --> 00:35:33,550
I was just saying.
1126
00:35:33,591 --> 00:35:35,051
I have worked on
this thing for months,
1127
00:35:35,093 --> 00:35:36,469
and she just waltzes in here
like the sugarplum fairy
1128
00:35:36,511 --> 00:35:37,929
and just tears it apart.
- I know.
1129
00:35:37,971 --> 00:35:39,014
And I do agree.
1130
00:35:39,055 --> 00:35:40,223
I'm just-- I'm just
really stressed.
1131
00:35:40,265 --> 00:35:41,641
I'm really far behind.
1132
00:35:41,683 --> 00:35:42,892
I mean, if the neighborhood
knew that we were
1133
00:35:42,934 --> 00:35:44,728
in the teens of
December and I didn't
1134
00:35:44,769 --> 00:35:46,771
have my flagship tree decorated,
talk about scuttlebutt city.
1135
00:35:46,813 --> 00:35:47,480
It's OK.
1136
00:35:47,522 --> 00:35:50,358
It's our little secret.
1137
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:51,443
I know you're stressed.
1138
00:35:51,484 --> 00:35:52,986
And I just--
1139
00:35:53,028 --> 00:35:54,654
I'm sorry, but I just
really need you right now.
1140
00:35:54,696 --> 00:35:56,031
I'm here for you.
I promise.
1141
00:35:56,072 --> 00:35:57,240
OK, good.
1142
00:35:57,282 --> 00:35:58,658
So maybe just as
HOA president, you
1143
00:35:58,700 --> 00:36:00,577
can go over there and
sit them down and just
1144
00:36:00,618 --> 00:36:01,911
explain the rules to them.
1145
00:36:01,953 --> 00:36:03,663
Jane knows the rules
better than I do.
1146
00:36:03,705 --> 00:36:05,040
Fine.
I'm going to do it.
1147
00:36:05,081 --> 00:36:06,124
Yeah, I'm a Melrose.
1148
00:36:06,166 --> 00:36:07,375
I can do this.
1149
00:36:07,417 --> 00:36:08,460
I can-- I can
channel my parents.
1150
00:36:08,501 --> 00:36:09,961
I'm going to go over there.
1151
00:36:10,003 --> 00:36:11,338
I'm going to tell them that
here on Evergreen Lane,
1152
00:36:11,379 --> 00:36:12,464
we like to cooperate.
1153
00:36:12,505 --> 00:36:14,257
I love that about you.
1154
00:36:14,299 --> 00:36:15,675
But I'm the
president, and that's
1155
00:36:15,717 --> 00:36:17,052
the president's responsibility.
1156
00:36:17,093 --> 00:36:18,803
Oh, good.
1157
00:36:18,845 --> 00:36:20,513
I was feeling really panicky
just thinking about doing that.
1158
00:36:20,555 --> 00:36:22,015
All right.
Perfect.
1159
00:36:22,057 --> 00:36:23,350
You do that, and I will
finish decorating the tree.
1160
00:36:23,391 --> 00:36:24,184
Great.
1161
00:36:24,225 --> 00:36:26,770
[pensive music]
1162
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:29,272
So good.
1163
00:36:29,314 --> 00:36:30,231
Jared.
1164
00:36:30,273 --> 00:36:31,191
Hmm?
Oh.
1165
00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:31,983
Right now?
1166
00:36:32,025 --> 00:36:33,485
OK.
1167
00:36:33,526 --> 00:36:34,861
I'll be right back.
- OK.
1168
00:36:34,903 --> 00:36:35,737
Bye.
1169
00:36:35,779 --> 00:36:37,322
Good luck, Mr. President.
1170
00:36:41,076 --> 00:36:44,079
[cheery music]
1171
00:36:50,919 --> 00:36:53,713
What is taking him so long?
1172
00:36:53,755 --> 00:36:56,883
[distant holiday music]
1173
00:37:14,859 --> 00:37:16,528
Welcome to the party.
1174
00:37:16,569 --> 00:37:18,238
Hi.
1175
00:37:18,279 --> 00:37:22,492
Jared, your better half
is here to join the party.
1176
00:37:22,534 --> 00:37:25,036
Right.
1177
00:37:25,078 --> 00:37:25,704
Hey, babe.
1178
00:37:25,745 --> 00:37:27,080
Hey.
1179
00:37:27,122 --> 00:37:28,707
This was-- this was
fun, but we have--
1180
00:37:28,748 --> 00:37:29,833
we have a thing.
1181
00:37:29,874 --> 00:37:31,084
That's why I'm
here, the thing.
1182
00:37:31,126 --> 00:37:32,711
Right.
Thank you for your hospitality.
1183
00:37:32,752 --> 00:37:34,045
This was awesome.
1184
00:37:34,087 --> 00:37:35,296
You're going to have
to jam some other time.
1185
00:37:35,338 --> 00:37:36,798
Oh.
1186
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,259
Well, we are (SINGING)
ho-ing down for a jam.
1187
00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:40,552
[cheering]
1188
00:37:41,469 --> 00:37:42,178
JOE: Come on, guys.
1189
00:37:42,220 --> 00:37:43,388
Call the harmony.
1190
00:37:43,430 --> 00:37:45,181
Look at this photograph.
1191
00:37:45,223 --> 00:37:47,267
That thing always
makes me laugh.
1192
00:37:47,308 --> 00:37:49,102
Such a fun night, babe.
1193
00:37:49,144 --> 00:37:50,603
Looks like we're
in the presence
1194
00:37:50,645 --> 00:37:52,397
of a fellow Nickelbacker.
1195
00:37:52,439 --> 00:37:53,690
(WHISPERS) She's obsessed.
1196
00:37:53,732 --> 00:37:55,817
Was this the secret
Christmas concert?
1197
00:37:55,859 --> 00:37:57,360
How in the world
did you get tickets?
1198
00:37:57,402 --> 00:37:59,946
Well, it turns out they're
big, big fans of the show.
1199
00:37:59,988 --> 00:38:03,324
So Chadwick reached out and
asked if we wanted floor seats.
1200
00:38:03,366 --> 00:38:04,617
Chadwick?
1201
00:38:04,659 --> 00:38:06,578
--a.k.a the Krog-meister.
1202
00:38:06,619 --> 00:38:09,330
No, it's silly, but I gave
all my besties nicknames.
1203
00:38:09,372 --> 00:38:12,208
[serious music]
1204
00:38:13,376 --> 00:38:15,003
Are you best friends
with Chad Kroeger?
1205
00:38:15,045 --> 00:38:19,507
Well, we timeshare at a
lake house with him, so yeah.
1206
00:38:19,549 --> 00:38:21,468
I'm going to take that back.
1207
00:38:21,509 --> 00:38:22,677
OK, babe?
1208
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:24,179
Yeah.
1209
00:38:24,220 --> 00:38:26,348
Anyway, this was so much fun.
1210
00:38:26,389 --> 00:38:27,307
Let's do it again.
1211
00:38:27,349 --> 00:38:28,141
JOE: Don't be strangers.
1212
00:38:28,183 --> 00:38:29,184
No, it was fun.
1213
00:38:29,225 --> 00:38:30,810
You ready?
1214
00:38:30,852 --> 00:38:32,479
I'm ready, guys.
Let's do this.
1215
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:33,688
- Yeah.
- On my count.
1216
00:38:33,730 --> 00:38:34,564
Ready?
Here we go.
1217
00:38:34,606 --> 00:38:35,648
1, 2.
1218
00:38:35,690 --> 00:38:37,776
1, 2, 3, 4.
1219
00:38:37,817 --> 00:38:39,110
That was fun, wasn't it?
1220
00:38:42,197 --> 00:38:43,782
- What just happened?
- Oh, that?
1221
00:38:43,823 --> 00:38:45,033
You had an extreme case of FOMO.
1222
00:38:45,075 --> 00:38:47,160
No, I'm over that for now.
1223
00:38:47,202 --> 00:38:50,705
What I'm not over is you
didn't do anything I asked.
1224
00:38:50,747 --> 00:38:52,665
I did tell them that
their Christmas decor
1225
00:38:52,707 --> 00:38:54,417
was really coming along and--
1226
00:38:54,459 --> 00:38:55,752
did that not count?
1227
00:38:55,794 --> 00:38:57,170
Jared, I was counting
on you to stand up
1228
00:38:57,212 --> 00:38:59,255
for decency, for your role
as president of the HOA,
1229
00:38:59,297 --> 00:39:00,715
and for me.
1230
00:39:00,757 --> 00:39:02,175
You're right, Emily.
I'm-- I'm sorry.
1231
00:39:02,217 --> 00:39:03,468
I don't know what happened.
1232
00:39:03,510 --> 00:39:05,929
Just they're so beguiling.
1233
00:39:05,970 --> 00:39:09,683
They're like you.
1234
00:39:09,724 --> 00:39:11,184
I'm really tired.
I'm going to go to bed.
1235
00:39:11,226 --> 00:39:12,644
I can make you
a hot chocolate.
1236
00:39:12,686 --> 00:39:13,478
We can talk about
it a little more.
1237
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:14,938
No, not tonight.
1238
00:39:14,979 --> 00:39:16,690
The hot chocolate window
has officially closed.
1239
00:39:16,731 --> 00:39:17,691
Oh.
1240
00:39:17,732 --> 00:39:20,402
It's kind of early.
1241
00:39:20,443 --> 00:39:21,528
We're closed.
1242
00:39:21,569 --> 00:39:22,362
I love you.
1243
00:39:22,404 --> 00:39:23,488
And I love you.
1244
00:39:27,450 --> 00:39:30,161
You're-- you're sure, right?
1245
00:39:30,203 --> 00:39:31,538
I'm sure.
1246
00:39:31,579 --> 00:39:34,416
[serious music]
1247
00:39:38,253 --> 00:39:40,714
But if we don't have a cello
that is not a string quartet,
1248
00:39:40,755 --> 00:39:42,382
it's a string tri-tet.
1249
00:39:42,424 --> 00:39:43,425
Say again?
1250
00:39:43,466 --> 00:39:44,676
Yeah.
1251
00:39:44,718 --> 00:39:45,593
(SINGING) When
the snow lay round
1252
00:39:45,635 --> 00:39:47,512
about, deep and crisp and--
1253
00:39:47,554 --> 00:39:49,180
I have to call you back.
1254
00:39:49,222 --> 00:39:52,392
(SINGING) Brightly shone
the moon that night,
1255
00:39:52,434 --> 00:39:57,897
though the frost was cruel,
when a poor man came in sight,
1256
00:39:57,939 --> 00:40:00,316
gath'ring winter fuel.
1257
00:40:08,199 --> 00:40:10,285
Ned.
1258
00:40:10,326 --> 00:40:12,579
(SINGING) Hither page
and stand by me--
1259
00:40:12,620 --> 00:40:13,872
Om.
1260
00:40:13,913 --> 00:40:15,248
Hey, Ned.
1261
00:40:15,290 --> 00:40:16,416
Namaste.
1262
00:40:16,458 --> 00:40:19,252
You do yoga?
1263
00:40:19,294 --> 00:40:20,920
Cold yoga.
1264
00:40:20,962 --> 00:40:22,756
My chakras aren't going
to align themselves.
1265
00:40:22,797 --> 00:40:23,923
Am I right, or am I right?
1266
00:40:23,965 --> 00:40:24,966
I don't know.
1267
00:40:25,008 --> 00:40:26,051
Is this your gnome?
1268
00:40:26,092 --> 00:40:27,218
Actually, let me rephrase it.
1269
00:40:27,260 --> 00:40:29,763
Are all of these your gnomes?
1270
00:40:29,804 --> 00:40:32,599
No, but I do know
to whom they belong.
1271
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,100
Who?
1272
00:40:34,142 --> 00:40:36,102
Joe Johnson set them up
at 2:00 in the morning.
1273
00:40:36,144 --> 00:40:37,395
How do you know that?
1274
00:40:37,437 --> 00:40:40,023
Because I have a
secondhand Yugoslavian
1275
00:40:40,065 --> 00:40:43,943
security system using KGB
motion infrared technology.
1276
00:40:43,985 --> 00:40:46,821
Infrared never fails.
1277
00:40:46,863 --> 00:40:48,073
That sends you alerts?
1278
00:40:48,114 --> 00:40:50,241
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1279
00:40:50,283 --> 00:40:53,036
At that hour, I usually
just watch the live feed.
1280
00:40:53,078 --> 00:40:55,330
It's scintillating.
1281
00:40:55,372 --> 00:40:57,832
And you don't have a problem
with this music just blaring
1282
00:40:57,874 --> 00:40:59,125
through our
neighborhood like this?
1283
00:40:59,167 --> 00:41:00,835
Why do you think
I'm doing yoga?
1284
00:41:00,877 --> 00:41:04,506
Yeah, that's not yoga.
1285
00:41:04,547 --> 00:41:07,842
(SINGING) Deck the halls
with boughs of holly.
1286
00:41:07,884 --> 00:41:11,513
Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
1287
00:41:11,554 --> 00:41:13,306
'Tis the season--
1288
00:41:13,348 --> 00:41:14,557
Hello, Joe.
1289
00:41:14,599 --> 00:41:15,892
Hey.
1290
00:41:15,934 --> 00:41:17,727
Jingle Jared, I'm
glad you're here.
1291
00:41:17,769 --> 00:41:20,730
I was just about to test out
the old Christmas lights.
1292
00:41:20,772 --> 00:41:22,941
What's-- what's wrong?
1293
00:41:22,982 --> 00:41:25,110
I've never had
a nickname before.
1294
00:41:25,151 --> 00:41:26,319
- Do you like it?
- Yeah.
1295
00:41:26,361 --> 00:41:26,945
Oh, good.
1296
00:41:26,986 --> 00:41:28,071
Yeah.
1297
00:41:28,113 --> 00:41:28,988
It's got a ring to it.
1298
00:41:29,030 --> 00:41:31,408
Jingle Jared.
1299
00:41:31,449 --> 00:41:32,867
Hey, I know we're
not besties yet,
1300
00:41:32,909 --> 00:41:35,245
but I got a good
feeling about us.
1301
00:41:39,457 --> 00:41:42,168
Joe, I heard that you were the
one putting all these speaker
1302
00:41:42,210 --> 00:41:44,004
gnomes around the neighborhood.
- Oh, yeah.
1303
00:41:44,045 --> 00:41:44,838
That's right.
1304
00:41:44,879 --> 00:41:46,297
That's right.
1305
00:41:46,339 --> 00:41:47,757
And I linked them up all
over with Bluetooth too.
1306
00:41:47,799 --> 00:41:50,135
I thought it would be nice
if everybody on the lane
1307
00:41:50,176 --> 00:41:52,012
could hear the
same music and feel
1308
00:41:52,053 --> 00:41:53,930
some magic at the same time.
1309
00:41:53,972 --> 00:41:55,181
Why?
1310
00:41:55,223 --> 00:41:56,224
Is there a problem?
- No, no, no.
1311
00:41:56,266 --> 00:41:57,308
No, no.
1312
00:41:57,350 --> 00:42:00,186
I-- I find them
adorable, actually.
1313
00:42:00,228 --> 00:42:04,107
But I needed you to maybe
ask permission next time.
1314
00:42:04,149 --> 00:42:05,191
Oh, come on.
1315
00:42:05,233 --> 00:42:06,192
I thought you liked music.
1316
00:42:06,234 --> 00:42:07,944
You're Jingle Jared, after all.
1317
00:42:07,986 --> 00:42:09,195
No, I do.
I do.
1318
00:42:09,237 --> 00:42:10,697
Jingle Jared loves music.
1319
00:42:10,739 --> 00:42:12,907
It's just-- just it would
be nice for a heads-up.
1320
00:42:12,949 --> 00:42:15,994
Well, heads up.
1321
00:42:16,036 --> 00:42:17,620
I mean before you do it.
1322
00:42:17,662 --> 00:42:19,539
Look, I could go ahead and
disconnect you if you want.
1323
00:42:19,581 --> 00:42:22,876
But it messes with
the triangulation
1324
00:42:22,917 --> 00:42:24,502
of the mother signal.
1325
00:42:24,544 --> 00:42:26,504
And then all the other
speakers get discombobulated.
1326
00:42:26,546 --> 00:42:27,380
I don't know.
1327
00:42:27,422 --> 00:42:29,049
My son could explain it better.
1328
00:42:29,090 --> 00:42:30,675
I just know that
they work together
1329
00:42:30,717 --> 00:42:31,885
kind of like this neighborhood.
1330
00:42:31,926 --> 00:42:32,969
I-- I understand.
1331
00:42:33,011 --> 00:42:34,387
I really do.
1332
00:42:34,429 --> 00:42:37,557
It's just it's not the
way we do things here.
1333
00:42:37,599 --> 00:42:38,975
Oh, yeah?
1334
00:42:39,017 --> 00:42:40,393
Well, how do we do things
around here exactly?
1335
00:42:40,435 --> 00:42:42,896
Well, since you
asked, we have a system
1336
00:42:42,937 --> 00:42:44,356
in place that allows
us to celebrate
1337
00:42:44,397 --> 00:42:45,940
Christmas to the fullest.
1338
00:42:45,982 --> 00:42:47,776
And as president, I
am privileged to push
1339
00:42:47,817 --> 00:42:49,235
that system forward.
1340
00:42:49,277 --> 00:42:51,905
So Joe, it's for your
own good and the good
1341
00:42:51,946 --> 00:42:53,573
of this entire community--
1342
00:42:53,615 --> 00:42:54,574
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1343
00:42:54,616 --> 00:42:56,117
What's that there?
1344
00:42:56,159 --> 00:42:57,619
This is a citation for
entering a neighbor's property
1345
00:42:57,660 --> 00:43:00,080
without permission,
also unlawful placement
1346
00:43:00,121 --> 00:43:01,539
of sonic amplitude devices.
1347
00:43:01,581 --> 00:43:02,415
Come on.
Jared.
1348
00:43:02,457 --> 00:43:04,125
(WHISPERS) I'm so sorry, Joe.
1349
00:43:04,167 --> 00:43:09,214
I thought we were becoming
friends, buds, simpatico.
1350
00:43:09,255 --> 00:43:14,177
But this doesn't
have to affect this.
1351
00:43:14,219 --> 00:43:15,637
You know what?
1352
00:43:15,679 --> 00:43:18,223
Hey.
1353
00:43:18,264 --> 00:43:23,186
Why don't you do the honors?
1354
00:43:23,228 --> 00:43:23,978
Joe, I shouldn't.
1355
00:43:24,020 --> 00:43:25,188
Come on.
1356
00:43:25,230 --> 00:43:27,482
You know the old Norse proverb.
1357
00:43:27,524 --> 00:43:29,943
To refuse to bring a neighbor
that-- you don't know it,
1358
00:43:29,984 --> 00:43:31,194
do you?
- I don't know it.
1359
00:43:31,236 --> 00:43:33,071
To refuse to bring
your neighbor light
1360
00:43:33,113 --> 00:43:35,073
is to bring him darkness.
1361
00:43:35,115 --> 00:43:36,533
You don't want
that, now, do you?
1362
00:43:36,574 --> 00:43:37,867
I don't want that.
1363
00:43:37,909 --> 00:43:40,412
All right.
1364
00:43:40,453 --> 00:43:43,248
Then bring us light, my friend.
1365
00:43:43,289 --> 00:43:44,290
Bring us light.
1366
00:43:47,794 --> 00:43:50,797
(SINGING) --on Christmas
day in the morning.
1367
00:43:50,839 --> 00:43:52,132
You did that, kiddo.
1368
00:43:52,173 --> 00:43:53,216
You did that.
1369
00:43:59,347 --> 00:44:02,642
(SINGING) Up on the
housetop, reindeer paws.
1370
00:44:02,684 --> 00:44:05,729
Out jumps good old Santa Claus.
1371
00:44:05,770 --> 00:44:08,648
Down through the chimney
with lots of toys--
1372
00:44:08,690 --> 00:44:10,984
I got absolutely
no sleep last night.
1373
00:44:11,026 --> 00:44:11,860
I'm sorry.
1374
00:44:11,901 --> 00:44:13,153
So this is your fault?
1375
00:44:13,194 --> 00:44:14,654
It's 100% my fault.
1376
00:44:14,696 --> 00:44:15,572
What did you do?
1377
00:44:15,613 --> 00:44:16,948
It's more of what I didn't do.
1378
00:44:16,990 --> 00:44:18,658
I wanted to give Joe a
citation for installing
1379
00:44:18,700 --> 00:44:20,285
his army of speaker gnomes.
1380
00:44:20,326 --> 00:44:21,578
Instead, I chickened out.
1381
00:44:21,619 --> 00:44:23,872
I'm such a fool
around celebrities.
1382
00:44:23,913 --> 00:44:24,873
Oh, Jared.
1383
00:44:24,914 --> 00:44:26,332
They want a reality show.
1384
00:44:26,374 --> 00:44:28,168
Why is everyone acting
like they deserve a star
1385
00:44:28,209 --> 00:44:29,169
on the Hollywood Walk of Fame?
1386
00:44:29,210 --> 00:44:30,086
Don't be ridiculous.
1387
00:44:30,128 --> 00:44:31,504
Of course not.
1388
00:44:31,546 --> 00:44:32,714
But they would make the
Christmas Hall of Fame.
1389
00:44:32,756 --> 00:44:34,132
Please tell me
that doesn't exist.
1390
00:44:34,174 --> 00:44:35,633
It does not, at
least, not yet.
1391
00:44:35,675 --> 00:44:37,135
But that's a next year problem.
1392
00:44:37,177 --> 00:44:39,179
Grab your coat because we
got bigger fish to fry.
1393
00:44:39,220 --> 00:44:41,014
And I will grab the door.
1394
00:44:41,056 --> 00:44:42,349
All right.
1395
00:44:42,390 --> 00:44:44,309
Everybody's at my house.
1396
00:44:44,351 --> 00:44:46,227
We have to fix this.
1397
00:44:46,269 --> 00:44:47,854
It is so bad.
1398
00:44:47,896 --> 00:44:49,898
(SINGING) Up on the housetop,
quick, quick, quick,
1399
00:44:49,939 --> 00:44:52,400
down through the chimney
with good Saint Nick.
1400
00:44:52,442 --> 00:44:54,110
MARY LOUISE: How can
something so hideous
1401
00:44:54,152 --> 00:44:56,529
come out of something so cute?
1402
00:44:56,571 --> 00:44:58,031
Is that Ben singing?
1403
00:44:58,073 --> 00:44:59,949
Every single one.
1404
00:44:59,991 --> 00:45:02,118
Well, at least,
it's Christmas music.
1405
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:03,536
I don't hear anything.
1406
00:45:03,578 --> 00:45:04,871
Big surprise there, Bob.
1407
00:45:04,913 --> 00:45:06,706
PAMELA: You sound
a bit pitchy to me.
1408
00:45:06,748 --> 00:45:08,458
Pitchy to you?
1409
00:45:08,500 --> 00:45:09,918
What is that supposed to mean?
1410
00:45:09,959 --> 00:45:12,045
It means I got a tuning
fork with your name on it.
1411
00:45:12,087 --> 00:45:13,588
OK.
1412
00:45:13,630 --> 00:45:15,382
You guys, they planned a
competing cookie contest.
1413
00:45:15,423 --> 00:45:16,758
We have to do something.
1414
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,468
I tried talking to
Joe, but he charmed me
1415
00:45:18,510 --> 00:45:19,803
with a Norse proverb.
1416
00:45:19,844 --> 00:45:22,389
Actions speak louder
than words, young Jedi.
1417
00:45:22,430 --> 00:45:24,015
Suggesting, what would you be?
1418
00:45:24,057 --> 00:45:27,227
I bought a manufacturer's
gross of defective Elf
1419
00:45:27,268 --> 00:45:32,273
on the Shelf dolls on eBay in
June, nasty looking rascals.
1420
00:45:32,315 --> 00:45:37,737
I wonder how jolly the Johnsons
would be if we let all 144
1421
00:45:37,779 --> 00:45:40,782
of those rascals
loose in their yard.
1422
00:45:40,824 --> 00:45:43,660
I got to say, I like where
this road is taking us.
1423
00:45:43,702 --> 00:45:44,703
No, no, no.
No, no.
1424
00:45:44,744 --> 00:45:46,329
Let's just take the high road.
1425
00:45:46,371 --> 00:45:48,373
Why when the low road is
so intriguing right now?
1426
00:45:48,415 --> 00:45:50,250
You guys, we're just
going to send out word
1427
00:45:50,291 --> 00:45:51,710
to the neighborhood
bulletin that we are
1428
00:45:51,751 --> 00:45:53,753
reverting back to
the old schedule
1429
00:45:53,795 --> 00:45:55,588
starting with the
cookie competition.
1430
00:45:55,630 --> 00:45:57,549
They're going to see
the lane come together.
1431
00:45:57,590 --> 00:45:59,426
And they're going to have no
choice but to fall in line.
1432
00:45:59,467 --> 00:46:01,177
Well, that might be
harder than you think.
1433
00:46:01,219 --> 00:46:04,180
I heard they're offering a
bit of coin for the winner.
1434
00:46:04,222 --> 00:46:05,306
Bitcoin.
1435
00:46:05,348 --> 00:46:06,683
We're working towards Bitcoin.
1436
00:46:06,725 --> 00:46:08,518
That sounds interesting.
1437
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:10,478
OK, don't you get
any ideas, Brodhead.
1438
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:12,439
They're really turning
the screws over there.
1439
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:13,732
Nobody panic.
1440
00:46:13,773 --> 00:46:15,025
We still have 42
confirmed entries.
1441
00:46:15,066 --> 00:46:16,776
What if everybody else
breaks rank and joins
1442
00:46:16,818 --> 00:46:18,611
the Johnsons' cookie contest?
1443
00:46:18,653 --> 00:46:21,281
Then we will punish their
treasonous ways with subterfuge
1444
00:46:21,322 --> 00:46:22,615
and psychological warfare.
1445
00:46:22,657 --> 00:46:23,283
Yes.
1446
00:46:23,324 --> 00:46:24,409
Yes.
1447
00:46:24,451 --> 00:46:26,661
I finally feel seen by you.
1448
00:46:26,703 --> 00:46:28,079
And I like what I see, Ned.
1449
00:46:28,121 --> 00:46:29,414
We're going to
go with my plan.
1450
00:46:29,456 --> 00:46:30,331
We're going to get
everyone to Belinda's
1451
00:46:30,373 --> 00:46:31,875
for the cookie contest.
1452
00:46:31,916 --> 00:46:33,960
And the rest is just going
to fall like dominoes.
1453
00:46:34,002 --> 00:46:34,794
Mm-hmm.
1454
00:46:34,836 --> 00:46:36,129
Yeah.
1455
00:46:36,171 --> 00:46:37,630
OK, I'm just going to
scout out a few low roads
1456
00:46:37,672 --> 00:46:38,798
in the meantime, you know?
1457
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:40,091
Just in case.
1458
00:46:40,133 --> 00:46:41,551
And I'm going to block
the Bluetooth frequency
1459
00:46:41,593 --> 00:46:43,053
so we can think straight.
1460
00:46:43,094 --> 00:46:44,387
I still don't hear anything.
1461
00:46:44,429 --> 00:46:45,472
You're lucky, Bob.
1462
00:46:45,513 --> 00:46:48,600
[serious music]
1463
00:46:52,937 --> 00:46:56,107
Did you remember to swap
out the salt for the sugar?
1464
00:46:56,149 --> 00:46:57,275
I did.
1465
00:46:57,317 --> 00:46:58,318
They're actually
good this time.
1466
00:46:58,360 --> 00:46:59,611
Aww.
1467
00:46:59,652 --> 00:47:00,862
Thanks, Nicole, not
that it matters.
1468
00:47:00,904 --> 00:47:02,614
I mean, look at this place.
It's empty.
1469
00:47:02,655 --> 00:47:04,199
Yeah, I didn't
want to say anything,
1470
00:47:04,240 --> 00:47:05,533
but where is everyone?
1471
00:47:05,575 --> 00:47:06,659
I'll tell you
exactly where they are.
1472
00:47:06,701 --> 00:47:08,119
They're baking with the enemy.
1473
00:47:08,161 --> 00:47:09,662
I cannot believe they
ignored our bulletin post.
1474
00:47:09,704 --> 00:47:10,914
And where is Ned?
1475
00:47:10,955 --> 00:47:12,207
I don't want to
jump to conclusions,
1476
00:47:12,248 --> 00:47:13,500
but did you see Ned?
1477
00:47:13,541 --> 00:47:14,668
He lit up like
Rudolph's nose when
1478
00:47:14,709 --> 00:47:15,710
he found out he
wouldn't have to compete
1479
00:47:15,752 --> 00:47:16,753
against Pamela this year.
1480
00:47:16,795 --> 00:47:18,004
No, he wouldn't.
Would he?
1481
00:47:18,046 --> 00:47:19,631
I don't know anymore.
He slept in.
1482
00:47:19,673 --> 00:47:21,132
He probably slept.
- Yes.
1483
00:47:21,174 --> 00:47:23,218
There was an Ice Road Truckers
marathon on last night.
1484
00:47:23,259 --> 00:47:24,344
You know he can't resist that.
1485
00:47:24,386 --> 00:47:25,387
Exactly.
1486
00:47:25,428 --> 00:47:26,221
Cookie?
1487
00:47:26,262 --> 00:47:27,097
Ooh.
1488
00:47:27,138 --> 00:47:27,931
Don't mind if I do.
1489
00:47:27,972 --> 00:47:28,640
Thanks, Nicole.
1490
00:47:28,682 --> 00:47:29,808
All right, everyone.
1491
00:47:29,849 --> 00:47:31,559
It's time to
announce the winner.
1492
00:47:37,065 --> 00:47:40,985
I must admit, competition wasn't
as robust as in years past.
1493
00:47:41,027 --> 00:47:41,611
A win is a win.
1494
00:47:41,653 --> 00:47:43,154
Get to the gold.
1495
00:47:43,196 --> 00:47:45,699
Since I'm the head judge,
my entry isn't eligible,
1496
00:47:45,740 --> 00:47:48,076
plus we had a disqualification.
1497
00:47:48,118 --> 00:47:52,872
So I will start with the runner
up, the only other contestant,
1498
00:47:52,914 --> 00:47:54,833
Emily Melrose.
1499
00:47:54,874 --> 00:47:55,500
Thank you.
1500
00:47:55,542 --> 00:47:56,418
Second place.
1501
00:47:56,459 --> 00:47:57,293
Not bad.
1502
00:47:57,335 --> 00:47:58,420
Thank you.
1503
00:47:58,461 --> 00:48:01,089
It's technically
last place too.
1504
00:48:01,131 --> 00:48:01,965
Thank you.
1505
00:48:02,007 --> 00:48:03,675
All right.
1506
00:48:03,717 --> 00:48:05,593
The winner, yet again, for
the eighth year in a row is--
1507
00:48:05,635 --> 00:48:08,221
We all know it was me.
1508
00:48:08,263 --> 00:48:09,305
Thank you.
1509
00:48:09,347 --> 00:48:12,434
Why aren't you happy, Mom?
1510
00:48:12,475 --> 00:48:16,730
Because victory isn't
the same without seeing
1511
00:48:16,771 --> 00:48:20,734
the agony of defeat in the
eyes of the vanquished.
1512
00:48:20,775 --> 00:48:23,069
But my streak is still alive.
1513
00:48:23,111 --> 00:48:28,867
[cheers] Two more wins, and
I'm sitting for a portrait.
1514
00:48:28,908 --> 00:48:29,451
Oh, yeah.
1515
00:48:29,492 --> 00:48:30,952
Yeah.
1516
00:48:30,994 --> 00:48:33,955
[whistling]
1517
00:48:34,748 --> 00:48:36,583
What you got there, Ned?
1518
00:48:36,624 --> 00:48:37,917
Oh, this?
1519
00:48:37,959 --> 00:48:39,252
I just found this
at a garage sale.
1520
00:48:39,294 --> 00:48:40,211
Oh, you did?
1521
00:48:40,253 --> 00:48:42,922
Yeah, how much was it?
1522
00:48:42,964 --> 00:48:46,009
Yeah, just what I thought,
you traitorous turncoat.
1523
00:48:46,051 --> 00:48:49,054
How could you after all
that we have been through?
1524
00:48:49,095 --> 00:48:51,264
You are my third
emergency contact right
1525
00:48:51,306 --> 00:48:52,807
after Allan and the dog sitter.
1526
00:48:52,849 --> 00:48:55,143
We all deserve to have
a moment in the sun.
1527
00:48:55,185 --> 00:48:56,853
But what about our plans?
1528
00:48:56,895 --> 00:49:00,106
All of those wonderful low roads
we were going to take together.
1529
00:49:00,148 --> 00:49:02,484
The Johnsons
showed me a new path.
1530
00:49:02,525 --> 00:49:03,735
I simply had to take it.
1531
00:49:03,777 --> 00:49:05,195
How did they get to you, Ned?
1532
00:49:05,236 --> 00:49:08,031
It is very, very cold
in the shadows, my friend.
1533
00:49:08,073 --> 00:49:10,200
I had to step triumphantly
into the light.
1534
00:49:10,241 --> 00:49:11,201
Give me that trophy.
1535
00:49:11,242 --> 00:49:12,494
I'm going to snap it in two.
1536
00:49:12,535 --> 00:49:13,495
No, you leave it alone.
1537
00:49:13,536 --> 00:49:15,038
Give it to me.
1538
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:16,623
You wouldn't even know
what to do with a trophy.
1539
00:49:16,664 --> 00:49:18,958
It'd be lonely in your house.
1540
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:20,126
Aw.
1541
00:49:20,168 --> 00:49:21,878
This feels better,
everyone coming together
1542
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:23,838
to celebrate the joy of winter.
1543
00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:26,132
At the end of the day, it's
all about the kids, right?
1544
00:49:26,174 --> 00:49:28,510
Yeah, that's the HOA
president I fell in love with.
1545
00:49:28,551 --> 00:49:29,427
Really?
1546
00:49:32,013 --> 00:49:33,348
Jimmy.
1547
00:49:33,390 --> 00:49:34,974
OK, that was a good throw,
but the snowball fight's
1548
00:49:35,016 --> 00:49:39,145
not until after you finish
building your snowman.
1549
00:49:39,187 --> 00:49:41,731
That was another good throw,
but we're going to wait
1550
00:49:41,773 --> 00:49:43,066
for all the other kids, OK?
1551
00:49:43,108 --> 00:49:44,901
I thought this was a
no-rules snowball fight.
1552
00:49:44,943 --> 00:49:46,194
Do you want to handle this?
1553
00:49:46,236 --> 00:49:48,029
Yeah, this is a
no-rules snowball fight,
1554
00:49:48,071 --> 00:49:50,156
buddy, but we're going to wait
for the other kids to get--
1555
00:49:51,700 --> 00:49:54,661
you little-- do you mind
if I borrow this, buddy?
1556
00:49:54,703 --> 00:49:55,995
Drive.
Drive.
1557
00:49:56,037 --> 00:49:56,830
Drive.
1558
00:50:00,417 --> 00:50:01,668
You think that's a good idea?
1559
00:50:01,710 --> 00:50:03,545
No point in running, Jimmy.
1560
00:50:03,586 --> 00:50:05,422
Your parents can't help you now.
1561
00:50:05,463 --> 00:50:06,673
Oh, no.
1562
00:50:06,715 --> 00:50:09,009
Definitely not a good idea.
1563
00:50:09,050 --> 00:50:10,176
It's a trap.
1564
00:50:10,218 --> 00:50:12,679
Fire.
1565
00:50:12,721 --> 00:50:14,014
Mayday.
Mayday.
1566
00:50:14,055 --> 00:50:15,432
We have a code white
in the cul-de-sac.
1567
00:50:15,473 --> 00:50:16,808
I repeat, a code white.
1568
00:50:16,850 --> 00:50:18,351
We need all available
units, please.
1569
00:50:18,393 --> 00:50:20,687
Requesting all available units.
1570
00:50:20,729 --> 00:50:24,274
Whoopsie-daisy.
1571
00:50:24,315 --> 00:50:25,233
There's a meltdown.
1572
00:50:25,275 --> 00:50:28,194
[shouting]
1573
00:50:33,074 --> 00:50:33,742
Victory.
1574
00:50:33,783 --> 00:50:36,870
[cheering]
1575
00:50:47,505 --> 00:50:49,507
I can't say I'm not
disappointed, especially
1576
00:50:49,549 --> 00:50:50,717
in you, Jared.
1577
00:50:50,759 --> 00:50:52,427
Dad, we had to
take cover inside.
1578
00:50:52,469 --> 00:50:54,012
And we have not left
the house since.
1579
00:50:54,054 --> 00:50:55,764
Over a snowball fight?
1580
00:50:55,805 --> 00:50:57,682
That does seem a little extreme.
1581
00:50:57,724 --> 00:51:01,436
Oh, no, no, no, it was
no ordinary snowball fight.
1582
00:51:01,478 --> 00:51:03,521
It was awful.
1583
00:51:03,563 --> 00:51:06,274
I'll never forget the
look in Jimmy's eyes.
1584
00:51:06,316 --> 00:51:09,194
It's like he was
unhinged, obsessed.
1585
00:51:09,235 --> 00:51:10,570
We've tried talking to them.
1586
00:51:10,612 --> 00:51:11,613
We've tried ignoring them.
1587
00:51:11,654 --> 00:51:13,281
They're just so intense.
1588
00:51:13,323 --> 00:51:15,492
It's like Christmas is
turning into The Hunger Games.
1589
00:51:15,533 --> 00:51:16,910
That does sound stressful.
1590
00:51:16,951 --> 00:51:18,078
JARED: Painful, actually.
1591
00:51:20,705 --> 00:51:23,333
We just want the neighborhood
to have a magical holiday
1592
00:51:23,375 --> 00:51:25,043
like we always do,
but it's so hard
1593
00:51:25,085 --> 00:51:27,003
when they just won't cooperate.
ALBERT (ON PHONE): Hmm.
1594
00:51:27,045 --> 00:51:28,838
Really stuck in the
chimney on this one.
1595
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,298
What do we do?
1596
00:51:30,340 --> 00:51:31,508
Have they violated the
HOA bylaws in any way?
1597
00:51:31,549 --> 00:51:32,717
JARED: Yes.
1598
00:51:32,759 --> 00:51:33,510
And I was going to
cite him for it.
1599
00:51:33,551 --> 00:51:34,928
But I felt bad.
1600
00:51:34,969 --> 00:51:36,304
He gave me this
really cool nickname,
1601
00:51:36,346 --> 00:51:37,639
and I let him off the hook.
1602
00:51:37,681 --> 00:51:39,140
That's an honest
mistake, Jared,
1603
00:51:39,182 --> 00:51:41,059
but when it comes to
incentives, there are carrots,
1604
00:51:41,101 --> 00:51:42,602
and there are sticks.
1605
00:51:42,644 --> 00:51:46,398
Using both tends to be the
most effective strategy.
1606
00:51:46,439 --> 00:51:47,857
Keep the niceties.
1607
00:51:47,899 --> 00:51:49,984
But maybe it's time to really
throw the book at them.
1608
00:51:50,026 --> 00:51:51,653
They have to be treated
like everyone else.
1609
00:51:51,695 --> 00:51:55,448
The founders believed that no
one is above the HOA bylaws.
1610
00:51:55,490 --> 00:51:57,283
By the founders,
you mean us, right?
1611
00:51:57,325 --> 00:51:58,076
ALBERT (ON PHONE):
Of course, I do.
1612
00:51:58,118 --> 00:51:59,452
Who else would?
1613
00:51:59,494 --> 00:52:00,620
GAIL (ON PHONE): I
don't know who you mean.
1614
00:52:00,662 --> 00:52:02,122
Why would you say the founders?
1615
00:52:02,163 --> 00:52:02,747
ALBERT (ON PHONE): I've
always said the founders.
1616
00:52:02,789 --> 00:52:04,332
Guys.
1617
00:52:04,374 --> 00:52:05,959
It's embarrassing for you
to say anything like that.
1618
00:52:06,001 --> 00:52:06,751
I think it's your
obsession with James Madison.
1619
00:52:06,793 --> 00:52:08,294
I think they understand.
1620
00:52:08,336 --> 00:52:09,295
GAIL (ON PHONE): He's
obsessed with James Madison.
1621
00:52:09,337 --> 00:52:10,005
Guy's we really
have to go, OK?
1622
00:52:10,046 --> 00:52:10,672
We have to go.
1623
00:52:10,714 --> 00:52:11,673
Thank you.
1624
00:52:11,715 --> 00:52:13,216
You know what time it is?
1625
00:52:13,258 --> 00:52:16,553
Surprise inspection time.
1626
00:52:16,594 --> 00:52:18,972
[drumming music]
1627
00:52:19,014 --> 00:52:19,806
No jingle.
1628
00:52:19,848 --> 00:52:20,640
No?
1629
00:52:20,682 --> 00:52:21,558
None.
1630
00:52:24,644 --> 00:52:25,520
Mm-mm.
1631
00:52:27,731 --> 00:52:28,565
No.
1632
00:52:33,570 --> 00:52:34,863
Oh.
No.
1633
00:52:34,904 --> 00:52:36,364
- No.
- It's definitely too tall.
1634
00:52:36,406 --> 00:52:37,032
No.
1635
00:52:37,073 --> 00:52:39,117
Definitely too tall.
1636
00:52:39,159 --> 00:52:42,495
Just as I suspected.
1637
00:52:42,537 --> 00:52:45,457
Oh, Ms. Melrose.
1638
00:52:45,498 --> 00:52:47,625
Oh, Jingle Jared.
1639
00:52:47,667 --> 00:52:50,295
You dried off pretty quick for
a guy who just got absolutely
1640
00:52:50,337 --> 00:52:51,463
pummeled by snowballs.
1641
00:52:51,504 --> 00:52:53,048
[laughter]
1642
00:52:53,089 --> 00:52:54,382
What you up to?
1643
00:52:54,424 --> 00:52:55,467
Just conducting a
routine inspection.
1644
00:52:55,508 --> 00:52:56,676
Of what?
1645
00:52:56,718 --> 00:52:58,219
Just making sure the
house is up to code.
1646
00:52:58,261 --> 00:52:59,679
I think you'd be hard
pressed to find any code
1647
00:52:59,721 --> 00:53:01,389
violations around here.
1648
00:53:01,431 --> 00:53:03,224
Well, these lights
are definitely
1649
00:53:03,266 --> 00:53:05,143
not LEDs, which means
you have surpassed
1650
00:53:05,185 --> 00:53:06,436
maximum wattage allowance.
1651
00:53:06,478 --> 00:53:07,812
And also, this
nutcracker definitely
1652
00:53:07,854 --> 00:53:09,397
exceeds maximum height.
1653
00:53:09,439 --> 00:53:11,358
Well, I didn't see anything
about a maximum height.
1654
00:53:11,399 --> 00:53:12,609
Well, you should have
read up, buttercup.
1655
00:53:12,650 --> 00:53:14,736
There is a lot of great
info in that appendix.
1656
00:53:14,778 --> 00:53:16,404
Indeed, there is.
1657
00:53:16,446 --> 00:53:17,947
Indeed, there is, especially
section six, article D, which
1658
00:53:17,989 --> 00:53:19,532
we discussed the other night.
1659
00:53:19,574 --> 00:53:21,826
The unlawful placement of
a sonic amplitude device?
1660
00:53:21,868 --> 00:53:23,119
Bing.
1661
00:53:23,161 --> 00:53:24,496
As a matter of fact,
that's the one.
1662
00:53:24,537 --> 00:53:25,997
Honey, I thought I told
you to ask permission
1663
00:53:26,039 --> 00:53:27,957
before placing those speakers.
- Sorry, honey.
1664
00:53:27,999 --> 00:53:29,417
I put the sleigh
before the reindeer.
1665
00:53:29,459 --> 00:53:31,711
But you do that all the
time, and it's ruining my life.
1666
00:53:31,753 --> 00:53:34,381
It's not fair for me to
say, but I do it all the time.
1667
00:53:34,422 --> 00:53:36,174
I can just leave
these in your mailbox,
1668
00:53:36,216 --> 00:53:39,094
or I can hand them to
you, whichever you prefer.
1669
00:53:39,135 --> 00:53:42,263
What happens if
someone chooses
1670
00:53:42,305 --> 00:53:43,264
to ignore the citations?
1671
00:53:43,306 --> 00:53:45,183
Then someone gets fined.
1672
00:53:45,225 --> 00:53:47,769
And if that someone
chooses not to pay the fine?
1673
00:53:47,811 --> 00:53:50,105
Well, I'm glad you asked,
Joe, because as president,
1674
00:53:50,146 --> 00:53:51,940
I can commute these punishments
with alternate means
1675
00:53:51,981 --> 00:53:53,274
of recompense.
- Such as?
1676
00:53:53,316 --> 00:53:54,984
I would settle for
mandatory attendance
1677
00:53:55,026 --> 00:53:56,611
to my annual white
elephant party.
1678
00:53:56,653 --> 00:53:58,196
Sounds lovely.
1679
00:53:58,238 --> 00:53:59,823
Where should we be?
When should we be there?
1680
00:53:59,864 --> 00:54:00,657
Jared's house.
1681
00:54:00,699 --> 00:54:01,616
7:00 PM tomorrow.
1682
00:54:01,658 --> 00:54:03,159
There's a dress code.
1683
00:54:03,201 --> 00:54:04,536
I hope it's not something
tacky like ugly sweaters.
1684
00:54:04,577 --> 00:54:08,540
Actually, it's
exactly that tacky.
1685
00:54:08,581 --> 00:54:10,333
And I have a closet
full of doozies if you
1686
00:54:10,375 --> 00:54:11,543
need to borrow something.
1687
00:54:11,584 --> 00:54:12,961
That won't be
necessary, for sure.
1688
00:54:13,003 --> 00:54:14,212
OK, good.
We'll see you there.
1689
00:54:14,254 --> 00:54:15,255
Wouldn't miss it.
1690
00:54:15,296 --> 00:54:16,172
You actually can't miss it.
1691
00:54:16,214 --> 00:54:17,632
Remember?
1692
00:54:17,674 --> 00:54:18,800
Right.
1693
00:54:18,842 --> 00:54:20,760
All right.
1694
00:54:20,802 --> 00:54:22,137
Oh, I think that went OK.
1695
00:54:22,178 --> 00:54:24,556
I think so.
1696
00:54:24,597 --> 00:54:25,557
JANE: Bye.
1697
00:54:25,598 --> 00:54:27,392
Goodbye.
1698
00:54:27,434 --> 00:54:28,810
JARED: Are those real smiles?
1699
00:54:28,852 --> 00:54:30,729
I don't know, but I
feel like I'm at the Chuck
1700
00:54:30,770 --> 00:54:31,813
E. Cheese Christmas special.
1701
00:54:34,482 --> 00:54:35,316
Hi.
1702
00:54:37,736 --> 00:54:40,071
Have they addressed
the citations yet?
1703
00:54:40,113 --> 00:54:42,866
I told them if they came in
peace, all would be forgiven.
1704
00:54:42,907 --> 00:54:44,492
You think that'll work?
1705
00:54:44,534 --> 00:54:45,702
It softened their sweet
Emily, didn't it, right, babe?
1706
00:54:45,744 --> 00:54:47,120
Like a bowl full of jelly.
1707
00:54:47,162 --> 00:54:48,371
That might have worked
for Molly McButter here,
1708
00:54:48,413 --> 00:54:50,165
but those Johnsons
are a different breed.
1709
00:54:50,206 --> 00:54:52,334
I mean, what if they don't
accept our olive branch?
1710
00:54:52,375 --> 00:54:54,252
Well, Ned is our sergeant
of arms at the HOA.
1711
00:54:54,294 --> 00:54:55,920
And if it comes to
that, we will ask him.
1712
00:54:55,962 --> 00:54:57,672
Where is Ned, anyway?
1713
00:54:57,714 --> 00:54:59,382
Probably building
a shrine to display
1714
00:54:59,424 --> 00:55:01,176
his traitorous new trophy.
1715
00:55:01,217 --> 00:55:03,803
Bob, I want an
onion and an olive.
1716
00:55:03,845 --> 00:55:05,055
Yes, dear.
1717
00:55:05,096 --> 00:55:06,598
Maybe this is
going to blow over.
1718
00:55:06,639 --> 00:55:07,724
We're going to exchange
gifts, and we're going to get
1719
00:55:07,766 --> 00:55:08,975
to know each other better.
1720
00:55:09,017 --> 00:55:13,063
And maybe this
isn't a tennis racket.
1721
00:55:13,104 --> 00:55:15,982
[doorbell rings]
1722
00:55:17,442 --> 00:55:18,068
Hey.
1723
00:55:18,109 --> 00:55:18,943
Welcome.
1724
00:55:18,985 --> 00:55:20,528
Come in.
1725
00:55:20,570 --> 00:55:21,696
JARED: Wait.
1726
00:55:21,738 --> 00:55:23,073
Those aren't ugly
Christmas sweaters.
1727
00:55:23,114 --> 00:55:25,283
No, they're
actually really cute.
1728
00:55:25,325 --> 00:55:27,702
We're not here for your
ugly Christmas sweater party.
1729
00:55:27,744 --> 00:55:29,287
You're not?
1730
00:55:29,329 --> 00:55:32,415
No, we're throwing a yuletide
poetry jam at our place.
1731
00:55:32,457 --> 00:55:35,085
We saw right through your
carrots and sticks strategy.
1732
00:55:35,126 --> 00:55:36,586
We came to inform
you that we are
1733
00:55:36,628 --> 00:55:39,089
hereby officially
withdrawing from all HOA
1734
00:55:39,130 --> 00:55:41,174
Christmas activities.
1735
00:55:41,216 --> 00:55:42,133
You can't do that.
1736
00:55:42,175 --> 00:55:43,426
We just did.
1737
00:55:43,468 --> 00:55:46,680
And we won't be
needing this anymore.
1738
00:55:46,721 --> 00:55:47,722
My special edition.
1739
00:55:47,764 --> 00:55:49,724
Or these.
1740
00:55:49,766 --> 00:55:52,644
You have no legal
precedence to do this.
1741
00:55:52,686 --> 00:55:53,520
Actually, they do.
1742
00:55:53,561 --> 00:55:54,187
[gasps]
1743
00:55:54,229 --> 00:55:55,897
I knew it.
1744
00:55:55,939 --> 00:55:58,942
I happen to have a signed
addendum voted on and approved
1745
00:55:58,983 --> 00:56:04,406
by Albert Melrose 2016, which
states, any member of the HOA
1746
00:56:04,447 --> 00:56:06,908
which does not wish to
participate in neighborhood
1747
00:56:06,950 --> 00:56:10,870
festivities can withdraw
with the approval of one
1748
00:56:10,912 --> 00:56:12,414
board member.
1749
00:56:12,455 --> 00:56:17,502
Let them celebrate how,
where, and what they may.
1750
00:56:17,544 --> 00:56:22,799
Now, thanks to Ned, we're free
to be jolly in the Johnson way.
1751
00:56:22,841 --> 00:56:24,217
[laughs]
1752
00:56:24,259 --> 00:56:26,511
I have no
recollection of this.
1753
00:56:26,553 --> 00:56:28,138
That was the night
we all had one too
1754
00:56:28,179 --> 00:56:29,806
many of Bob's holiday Mai Tais.
1755
00:56:29,848 --> 00:56:31,141
My bad.
1756
00:56:31,182 --> 00:56:32,475
EMILY: Why isn't
this in the handbook?
1757
00:56:32,517 --> 00:56:34,269
And why did you make me
participate last year?
1758
00:56:34,310 --> 00:56:35,437
It was before my time.
1759
00:56:35,478 --> 00:56:36,938
You all have a copy.
1760
00:56:36,980 --> 00:56:39,190
I faxed it to you the
night it was ratified.
1761
00:56:39,232 --> 00:56:41,109
Come on, Ned, none
of us have used a fax
1762
00:56:41,151 --> 00:56:42,694
machine since desert storm.
1763
00:56:42,736 --> 00:56:43,862
Come on.
1764
00:56:43,903 --> 00:56:45,655
We have some festive
pros to attend to.
1765
00:56:48,992 --> 00:56:51,286
Viva la resistance.
1766
00:56:51,327 --> 00:56:52,954
Not so fast.
1767
00:56:52,996 --> 00:56:54,456
JARED: Why, Ned?
1768
00:56:54,497 --> 00:56:56,416
Why?
1769
00:56:56,458 --> 00:57:00,462
No man can serve two Santas.
1770
00:57:00,503 --> 00:57:03,673
Edward Brodhead, for
your treasonous behavior,
1771
00:57:03,715 --> 00:57:06,968
I call for your immediate
dismissal from Santa's Helpers.
1772
00:57:07,010 --> 00:57:07,969
All in favor, say aye.
1773
00:57:08,011 --> 00:57:08,928
ALL: Aye.
1774
00:57:08,970 --> 00:57:11,056
The motion is passed.
1775
00:57:11,097 --> 00:57:13,725
Hand over your walkie.
1776
00:57:13,767 --> 00:57:14,601
Must I?
1777
00:57:14,642 --> 00:57:15,268
You must.
1778
00:57:15,310 --> 00:57:17,854
[christmas music]
1779
00:57:22,025 --> 00:57:23,026
You are dismissed.
1780
00:57:29,032 --> 00:57:30,367
That was a bust.
1781
00:57:30,408 --> 00:57:32,160
There's only one
way to fix this.
1782
00:57:32,202 --> 00:57:34,829
[serious music]
1783
00:57:34,871 --> 00:57:35,997
Switching to channel 12.
1784
00:57:38,541 --> 00:57:40,251
Attention Silver
and Gold leaders.
1785
00:57:40,293 --> 00:57:42,295
Calling on Silver
and Gold leaders.
1786
00:57:42,337 --> 00:57:45,924
We have a situation here.
1787
00:57:45,965 --> 00:57:48,259
MAN (ON WALKIE-TALKIE):
We are on our way.
1788
00:57:54,307 --> 00:57:57,852
How are your big plans coming?
1789
00:57:57,894 --> 00:57:59,062
The proposal?
1790
00:57:59,104 --> 00:58:01,356
I've been so busy with
all this HOA craziness,
1791
00:58:01,398 --> 00:58:02,482
I hadn't had much time
to think about it.
1792
00:58:02,524 --> 00:58:04,192
Oh, don't let that get to you.
1793
00:58:04,234 --> 00:58:06,152
I know, but it's really making
me have a loss of confidence.
1794
00:58:06,194 --> 00:58:09,030
Jared, take time to
think about the moment,
1795
00:58:09,072 --> 00:58:11,741
reflect on it because it'll
be in the distant past
1796
00:58:11,783 --> 00:58:12,867
before you know it.
1797
00:58:12,909 --> 00:58:14,411
Well, let me ask
you a question.
1798
00:58:14,452 --> 00:58:16,037
How confident was Dad
when he proposed to you?
1799
00:58:16,079 --> 00:58:17,288
Are you kidding?
1800
00:58:17,330 --> 00:58:19,457
He procrastinated and dithered.
1801
00:58:19,499 --> 00:58:23,294
And I think he chickened out
at least a half a dozen times.
1802
00:58:23,336 --> 00:58:24,713
Really?
1803
00:58:24,754 --> 00:58:26,548
Well, he told me a
much different version.
1804
00:58:26,589 --> 00:58:28,091
I speak truth.
1805
00:58:28,133 --> 00:58:31,177
And he's not around to
contradict me, so what I say
1806
00:58:31,219 --> 00:58:32,095
goes.
1807
00:58:32,137 --> 00:58:32,971
Fair.
1808
00:58:33,013 --> 00:58:34,139
I love you, son.
1809
00:58:34,180 --> 00:58:35,056
No, no, no, no, no.
1810
00:58:35,098 --> 00:58:36,433
No, no.
1811
00:58:36,474 --> 00:58:37,726
Yeah, this whole thing
this has got to go.
1812
00:58:37,767 --> 00:58:40,228
OK, we're going to 86
Santa's Village stat.
1813
00:58:40,270 --> 00:58:41,104
No, no, no, no, no.
1814
00:58:41,146 --> 00:58:42,313
Don't touch that.
1815
00:58:42,355 --> 00:58:43,565
Logistically, this
is perfect here.
1816
00:58:43,606 --> 00:58:44,983
What are you doing?
1817
00:58:45,025 --> 00:58:45,817
Well, logistically, this
is perfect for our ice
1818
00:58:45,859 --> 00:58:47,110
sculpture competition.
1819
00:58:47,152 --> 00:58:48,903
And I have a new
chiseling set to christen.
1820
00:58:48,945 --> 00:58:51,072
Ned, I am not moving
Santa's Village,
1821
00:58:51,114 --> 00:58:53,116
especially not for
some cockamamie
1822
00:58:53,158 --> 00:58:56,036
ice sculpting contest.
1823
00:58:56,077 --> 00:58:59,456
Jared, I put up
with so much from you.
1824
00:58:59,497 --> 00:59:04,669
But the words cockamamie,
ice, sculpture,
1825
00:59:04,711 --> 00:59:09,215
and contest in combination
are fighting words, man.
1826
00:59:09,257 --> 00:59:10,425
Don't be ridiculous, Ned.
1827
00:59:10,467 --> 00:59:12,052
Just take this somewhere else.
1828
00:59:12,093 --> 00:59:14,471
I don't see why you can't
just take this somewhere else.
1829
00:59:14,512 --> 00:59:16,181
Because I personally
applied for the permits
1830
00:59:16,222 --> 00:59:18,516
to have Santa's Village
right here on this spot.
1831
00:59:18,558 --> 00:59:19,893
So if you have a
problem with it,
1832
00:59:19,934 --> 00:59:21,603
you should take it
up with City Hall.
1833
00:59:21,644 --> 00:59:22,937
Well, you may have
won this battle,
1834
00:59:22,979 --> 00:59:24,773
but you have not won the war.
1835
00:59:24,814 --> 00:59:26,107
It is not a war, people.
1836
00:59:26,149 --> 00:59:27,692
It's a Christmas Carnival.
- All right.
1837
00:59:27,734 --> 00:59:28,485
Come on, everyone.
1838
00:59:28,526 --> 00:59:29,778
Let's go.
1839
00:59:29,819 --> 00:59:30,945
What is happening?
1840
00:59:30,987 --> 00:59:31,946
I don't know.
1841
00:59:31,988 --> 00:59:34,783
[serious music]
1842
00:59:34,824 --> 00:59:36,368
What is it with
her and winning?
1843
00:59:36,409 --> 00:59:38,453
I mean, it's the most
wonderful time of the year.
1844
00:59:38,495 --> 00:59:39,788
We've already won.
1845
00:59:39,829 --> 00:59:41,456
Emily, there's
nothing to worry about.
1846
00:59:41,498 --> 00:59:44,042
When Silver and Gold get here,
it's going to be game over.
1847
00:59:44,084 --> 00:59:45,293
[rap music] Yeah.
1848
00:59:45,335 --> 00:59:46,628
Ay.
1849
00:59:46,670 --> 00:59:48,838
Deck the halls with
boughs of holly.
1850
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:51,508
Fa la, la, la, la la, la, la la.
1851
00:59:51,549 --> 00:59:52,634
Yeah.
1852
00:59:52,676 --> 00:59:55,178
'Tis the season to be jolly.
1853
00:59:55,220 --> 00:59:58,765
Fa, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la.
1854
00:59:58,807 --> 01:00:01,476
Troll the ancient
Christmas carol.
1855
01:00:01,518 --> 01:00:04,646
Fa, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la.
1856
01:00:04,688 --> 01:00:08,733
Fa, la, la, la la,
la la, la la, la.
1857
01:00:08,775 --> 01:00:09,776
JARED: Welcome home, sir.
1858
01:00:09,818 --> 01:00:11,277
Get me up to speed.
1859
01:00:11,319 --> 01:00:13,446
I want a full summary with
all the major players.
1860
01:00:13,488 --> 01:00:14,322
Mom.
1861
01:00:14,364 --> 01:00:15,156
Hi.
1862
01:00:15,198 --> 01:00:17,200
Welcome home.
1863
01:00:17,242 --> 01:00:19,703
The house looks great.
1864
01:00:19,744 --> 01:00:20,578
Thank you.
1865
01:00:20,620 --> 01:00:21,621
How was your flight?
1866
01:00:21,663 --> 01:00:22,831
It was wonderful.
1867
01:00:22,872 --> 01:00:25,500
I watched Christmas
at Graceland,
1868
01:00:25,542 --> 01:00:27,085
and it really got
me in the spirit.
1869
01:00:27,127 --> 01:00:27,877
Oh, that's great.
1870
01:00:27,919 --> 01:00:29,045
Perfect.
1871
01:00:29,087 --> 01:00:30,672
But your father kept
quoting Art of War,
1872
01:00:30,714 --> 01:00:32,340
which kind of killed the mood.
1873
01:00:32,382 --> 01:00:35,135
ALBERT: We need a strategy that
focuses on their vulnerability.
1874
01:00:35,176 --> 01:00:36,678
JARED: That's genius, sir.
ALBERT: Thank you.
1875
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:38,638
Want to go wrap presents
while they strategize?
1876
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:40,098
I thought you'd never ask.
1877
01:00:40,140 --> 01:00:41,808
Yes.
1878
01:00:41,850 --> 01:00:43,643
So how are you guys?
1879
01:00:43,685 --> 01:00:44,561
Good?
1880
01:00:44,602 --> 01:00:45,395
Happy?
1881
01:00:45,437 --> 01:00:46,312
Really happy.
1882
01:00:46,354 --> 01:00:47,564
Yeah.
1883
01:00:47,605 --> 01:00:48,815
This whole mess
with the Johnsons
1884
01:00:48,857 --> 01:00:49,524
has been a little
difficult, though.
1885
01:00:49,566 --> 01:00:51,151
But you know what?
1886
01:00:51,192 --> 01:00:52,402
I think it's shown us that
we're a really great team.
1887
01:00:52,444 --> 01:00:53,945
That's what matters.
1888
01:00:53,987 --> 01:00:55,697
After all these years
with your father,
1889
01:00:55,739 --> 01:00:58,283
there's one main
reason why it's worked.
1890
01:00:58,324 --> 01:01:02,037
The fact that you both insist
Die Hard is a Christmas movie?
1891
01:01:02,078 --> 01:01:06,833
That has helped, but really,
because we're best friends.
1892
01:01:06,875 --> 01:01:07,876
- We figured it out.
- Wait.
1893
01:01:07,917 --> 01:01:09,085
No.
We're wrapping presents.
1894
01:01:09,127 --> 01:01:10,879
This is more
important than presents.
1895
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:12,380
We figured out how to get
rid of the Johnsons for good.
1896
01:01:12,422 --> 01:01:14,549
I don't think we want
to get rid of them, do we?
1897
01:01:14,591 --> 01:01:16,217
What choice do we have?
1898
01:01:16,259 --> 01:01:18,136
They are destroying the very
fabric of the neighborhood.
1899
01:01:18,178 --> 01:01:19,721
The point is to
try and find a way
1900
01:01:19,763 --> 01:01:21,431
to weave them into the fabric.
1901
01:01:21,473 --> 01:01:23,141
They committed HOA treason.
1902
01:01:23,183 --> 01:01:25,435
You need to pull the
weed out by the root.
1903
01:01:25,477 --> 01:01:26,561
By the root.
1904
01:01:26,603 --> 01:01:28,021
OK, nothing they
did technically
1905
01:01:28,063 --> 01:01:30,065
was illegal, thanks to
the addendum you signed.
1906
01:01:30,106 --> 01:01:32,567
It was never meant
to be used nefariously.
1907
01:01:32,609 --> 01:01:34,027
That was only for
people who were not
1908
01:01:34,069 --> 01:01:35,820
able to physically
and emotionally
1909
01:01:35,862 --> 01:01:37,155
be in a state of celebration.
1910
01:01:37,197 --> 01:01:39,115
Oh, that's interesting,
so like me last year?
1911
01:01:39,157 --> 01:01:41,409
No comment.
1912
01:01:41,451 --> 01:01:42,952
OK, if you don't
mind me asking,
1913
01:01:42,994 --> 01:01:44,537
what else is on this list?
1914
01:01:44,579 --> 01:01:46,039
Fill their entire
chimney with coal.
1915
01:01:46,081 --> 01:01:47,665
Use space heaters to
melt all of their snow.
1916
01:01:47,707 --> 01:01:50,168
Write a smear piece saying they
don't believe in you-know-who.
1917
01:01:50,210 --> 01:01:51,378
Keep reading.
1918
01:01:51,419 --> 01:01:52,587
These are just some
of the greatest hits.
1919
01:01:52,629 --> 01:01:53,755
Bring them some figgy pudding.
1920
01:01:53,797 --> 01:01:55,924
And I do mean a truckload of it.
1921
01:01:55,965 --> 01:01:58,426
Invite Ned's improv
troupe to ad lib
1922
01:01:58,468 --> 01:02:00,053
The Christmas Carol for them.
1923
01:02:00,095 --> 01:02:01,888
And this is one of my
personal favorites.
1924
01:02:01,930 --> 01:02:06,017
Hire a singing telegram to
do "The 12 Days of Christmas"
1925
01:02:06,059 --> 01:02:08,311
over and over and over.
1926
01:02:08,353 --> 01:02:10,730
JARED AND ALBERT: (SINGING)
On the first day of Christmas,
1927
01:02:10,772 --> 01:02:12,524
my true love gave to me--
1928
01:02:12,565 --> 01:02:15,443
No, these are terrible
ideas, especially that one.
1929
01:02:15,485 --> 01:02:17,070
We cannot fight fire with fire.
1930
01:02:17,112 --> 01:02:18,613
Oh, sir, fire,
is that too much?
1931
01:02:18,655 --> 01:02:19,823
Probably.
1932
01:02:19,864 --> 01:02:21,157
But what if it's
a flaming yule log?
1933
01:02:21,199 --> 01:02:21,825
Love that.
1934
01:02:21,866 --> 01:02:22,742
Put it on the list.
1935
01:02:22,784 --> 01:02:24,369
No, no more list.
1936
01:02:24,411 --> 01:02:25,912
We have to make peace.
1937
01:02:25,954 --> 01:02:29,249
Honey, I came here to
help you solve this problem,
1938
01:02:29,290 --> 01:02:30,792
and that's what
we're trying to do.
1939
01:02:30,834 --> 01:02:32,460
But the Johnsons love
a fight, and this is
1940
01:02:32,502 --> 01:02:34,295
just playing into their hand.
- What do you suggest we do?
1941
01:02:34,337 --> 01:02:36,506
I don't want to do anything
aggressive or passive
1942
01:02:36,548 --> 01:02:37,966
aggressive, for that matter.
1943
01:02:38,008 --> 01:02:39,968
I say we go over there,
we sit down like adults.
1944
01:02:40,010 --> 01:02:43,221
And once and for all,
we find a compromise.
1945
01:02:43,263 --> 01:02:45,473
That's actually
not a bad idea, sir.
1946
01:02:45,515 --> 01:02:46,641
Put it on the list.
1947
01:02:46,683 --> 01:02:47,809
Thank you.
1948
01:02:47,851 --> 01:02:49,561
But don't mix my
Jacob Marley bit.
1949
01:02:49,602 --> 01:02:50,812
No, sir.
1950
01:02:50,854 --> 01:02:51,938
I don't even know
what that means.
1951
01:02:51,980 --> 01:02:53,773
Trust me, you don't.
1952
01:02:53,815 --> 01:02:55,108
JOE: So what brings you all by?
1953
01:02:55,150 --> 01:02:57,068
We thought we could
have a heart to heart.
1954
01:02:57,110 --> 01:02:59,821
I feel like it's been made
very clear that the four of us
1955
01:02:59,863 --> 01:03:01,781
haven't been on
the same page when
1956
01:03:01,823 --> 01:03:03,742
it comes to the
neighborhood festivities.
1957
01:03:03,783 --> 01:03:06,077
We want to take
responsibility for being a bit
1958
01:03:06,119 --> 01:03:07,829
too rigid with our traditions.
1959
01:03:07,871 --> 01:03:10,665
And we were thinking that your
family could take ownership
1960
01:03:10,707 --> 01:03:12,500
for being a bit aggressive--
1961
01:03:12,542 --> 01:03:13,918
Assertive.
1962
01:03:13,960 --> 01:03:15,503
Assertive when it
comes to pushing yours.
1963
01:03:15,545 --> 01:03:17,047
You're absolutely right.
1964
01:03:17,088 --> 01:03:20,842
We both put the sleigh before
the reindeer sometimes.
1965
01:03:20,884 --> 01:03:23,762
I realize that
we may have ruffled
1966
01:03:23,803 --> 01:03:25,513
some goose feathers
what with coming
1967
01:03:25,555 --> 01:03:27,349
up with our own holiday events.
1968
01:03:27,390 --> 01:03:29,851
But I'm sure it's-- it's not
something we can't fix, right?
1969
01:03:29,893 --> 01:03:31,853
That's exactly what we
were hoping to do today.
1970
01:03:31,895 --> 01:03:33,355
Great.
Let's get into it.
1971
01:03:33,396 --> 01:03:34,606
Great.
1972
01:03:34,647 --> 01:03:36,358
So when my parents
founded the HOA,
1973
01:03:36,399 --> 01:03:38,443
they just-- they wanted
everyone in the neighborhood
1974
01:03:38,485 --> 01:03:40,612
to have as much fun at
Christmas as possible.
1975
01:03:40,653 --> 01:03:42,280
That's a noble thing.
1976
01:03:42,322 --> 01:03:43,740
And if you'll
accept our apology,
1977
01:03:43,782 --> 01:03:45,700
we'd like to rescind
our withdrawal
1978
01:03:45,742 --> 01:03:47,327
from the HOA festivities.
1979
01:03:47,369 --> 01:03:50,580
That was just a little Johnson
family heat of the moment
1980
01:03:50,622 --> 01:03:51,956
enthusiasm thing, so--
1981
01:03:51,998 --> 01:03:53,416
We'd love to
have you guys back.
1982
01:03:53,458 --> 01:03:54,626
Terrific.
1983
01:03:54,668 --> 01:03:56,294
Phew.
1984
01:03:56,336 --> 01:03:56,961
Wow.
1985
01:03:57,003 --> 01:03:58,505
And listen.
1986
01:03:58,546 --> 01:04:00,382
Joe, about the citations,
just forget about them.
1987
01:04:00,423 --> 01:04:02,300
I mean, I know you
already ripped them up.
1988
01:04:02,342 --> 01:04:03,802
But let's just pretend
that I ripped them up.
1989
01:04:03,843 --> 01:04:05,136
And you know, you
guys are new here,
1990
01:04:05,178 --> 01:04:06,554
and you're getting
settled in, so--
1991
01:04:06,596 --> 01:04:07,889
Hey, thanks for that.
1992
01:04:07,931 --> 01:04:09,683
You know, that's very
Jingle Jared of you.
1993
01:04:09,724 --> 01:04:10,892
You know what?
This is happening.
1994
01:04:10,934 --> 01:04:11,768
Get over here.
1995
01:04:11,810 --> 01:04:12,602
Come here.
1996
01:04:15,730 --> 01:04:16,606
Let's not ruin it.
1997
01:04:16,648 --> 01:04:17,440
OK.
1998
01:04:17,482 --> 01:04:18,441
Sure.
1999
01:04:18,483 --> 01:04:20,110
All right.
2000
01:04:20,151 --> 01:04:21,361
So can we expect your help
with the Christmas Carnival?
2001
01:04:21,403 --> 01:04:22,362
We're all in.
2002
01:04:22,404 --> 01:04:23,613
As a matter of
fact, we were just
2003
01:04:23,655 --> 01:04:24,906
brainstorming this morning.
2004
01:04:24,948 --> 01:04:26,449
Oh, yeah.
2005
01:04:26,491 --> 01:04:28,284
Let's just calm that storm
because the Carnival's
2006
01:04:28,326 --> 01:04:29,953
really all mapped out.
- Oh, no, no.
2007
01:04:29,994 --> 01:04:31,955
It's not going to interfere
with your plans at all.
2008
01:04:31,996 --> 01:04:34,374
It's going to be in the
morning before the Carnival.
2009
01:04:34,416 --> 01:04:35,250
Oh.
2010
01:04:35,291 --> 01:04:36,459
So what'd you have in mind?
2011
01:04:36,501 --> 01:04:39,295
We're calling it
the Christmas Games.
2012
01:04:39,337 --> 01:04:41,089
Huh.
2013
01:04:41,131 --> 01:04:43,216
Instead of having all these
different competitions peppered
2014
01:04:43,258 --> 01:04:46,052
in leading up to the days before
Christmas like we had planned--
2015
01:04:46,094 --> 01:04:47,137
Oh, like you planned?
2016
01:04:47,178 --> 01:04:48,388
Right.
2017
01:04:48,430 --> 01:04:50,807
We just thought we would
all have it in one day.
2018
01:04:50,849 --> 01:04:52,892
And the winner will be--
2019
01:04:52,934 --> 01:04:58,148
get this-- the Christmas goat.
2020
01:04:58,189 --> 01:04:58,940
Wait.
2021
01:04:58,982 --> 01:05:01,818
Goat like [imitates goat]?
2022
01:05:01,860 --> 01:05:03,528
Greatest of all time.
2023
01:05:03,570 --> 01:05:05,905
And let me guess,
you two are competing?
2024
01:05:05,947 --> 01:05:08,783
The idea is one person
from every household
2025
01:05:08,825 --> 01:05:10,118
will represent their family.
2026
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:12,412
That's a no-brainer
for the Johnson clan.
2027
01:05:12,454 --> 01:05:14,122
That's true.
2028
01:05:14,164 --> 01:05:16,291
Can I ask, what kind of
events do you have in mind?
2029
01:05:16,332 --> 01:05:19,294
Oh, the usual wreath making,
gingerbread construction,
2030
01:05:19,336 --> 01:05:21,087
ice sculpting,
Christmas cocktail
2031
01:05:21,129 --> 01:05:24,466
mixing, and holiday trivia.
2032
01:05:24,507 --> 01:05:25,967
This sounds like a lot.
2033
01:05:26,009 --> 01:05:27,802
Not every family
has to participate.
2034
01:05:27,844 --> 01:05:28,970
It's totally optional.
2035
01:05:29,012 --> 01:05:30,305
I think I'm going
to have to pass.
2036
01:05:30,347 --> 01:05:31,765
I already have so
much on my plate.
2037
01:05:31,806 --> 01:05:33,475
Yeah.
JOE: That makes a lot of sense.
2038
01:05:33,516 --> 01:05:35,810
As president, you should
probably take a dignitary role.
2039
01:05:35,852 --> 01:05:36,686
That's really smart.
2040
01:05:36,728 --> 01:05:38,146
What about you, Emily?
2041
01:05:38,188 --> 01:05:39,981
Are you game?
- Well, I have to help Jared.
2042
01:05:40,023 --> 01:05:41,274
There's so much going on.
2043
01:05:41,316 --> 01:05:42,484
I think I'll probably
have to say no.
2044
01:05:42,525 --> 01:05:44,402
But can't you just
imagine all the families
2045
01:05:44,444 --> 01:05:47,030
in the neighborhood cheering
and having such a great time?
2046
01:05:47,072 --> 01:05:48,615
Yeah, don't shut
it down before we've
2047
01:05:48,656 --> 01:05:50,200
had a chance to think about it.
- Oh, no, no, no.
2048
01:05:50,241 --> 01:05:51,201
I'm not shutting it down.
2049
01:05:51,242 --> 01:05:52,827
I'm here to compromise.
2050
01:05:52,869 --> 01:05:54,704
I just think the spirit of
it all feels a little com--
2051
01:05:54,746 --> 01:05:55,830
- Complicated.
- Competitive.
2052
01:05:55,872 --> 01:05:57,207
Competitive.
2053
01:05:57,248 --> 01:05:57,874
The word we're looking
for is competitive.
2054
01:05:57,916 --> 01:05:58,667
It's OK, Emily.
2055
01:05:58,708 --> 01:06:00,293
We understand.
2056
01:06:00,335 --> 01:06:01,711
Just a little surprised.
That's all.
2057
01:06:01,753 --> 01:06:02,837
Why is that?
2058
01:06:02,879 --> 01:06:04,506
I don't think I should say.
2059
01:06:04,547 --> 01:06:06,174
- No, I really want to hear.
- No, you know what?
2060
01:06:06,216 --> 01:06:07,676
I'm a gentleman.
I can't say.
2061
01:06:07,717 --> 01:06:09,177
Then I will.
2062
01:06:09,219 --> 01:06:11,846
We never took you
for such a Grinch.
2063
01:06:11,888 --> 01:06:13,348
[dramatic music]
2064
01:06:13,390 --> 01:06:14,224
[gasps]
2065
01:06:14,265 --> 01:06:15,642
She didn't mean it, baby.
2066
01:06:15,684 --> 01:06:16,851
Happy thoughts.
Santa Claus.
2067
01:06:16,893 --> 01:06:17,852
Candy canes.
2068
01:06:17,894 --> 01:06:19,562
Chad Kroeger, Nickelback.
2069
01:06:19,604 --> 01:06:20,897
I'm sorry.
2070
01:06:20,939 --> 01:06:25,026
Did you just call me a Grinch?
2071
01:06:25,068 --> 01:06:26,861
If the stocking fits.
2072
01:06:26,903 --> 01:06:28,947
Do you know what a Grinch is?
2073
01:06:28,988 --> 01:06:32,450
A Grinch is someone who
tries to ruin Christmas,
2074
01:06:32,492 --> 01:06:34,494
which you have been doing
since the second you
2075
01:06:34,536 --> 01:06:36,037
landed on this lane.
2076
01:06:36,079 --> 01:06:37,872
Says the Grinch.
2077
01:06:37,914 --> 01:06:38,957
I am not a Grinch.
2078
01:06:38,998 --> 01:06:40,000
Prove it.
2079
01:06:40,041 --> 01:06:41,251
Enter the Christmas Games.
2080
01:06:41,292 --> 01:06:42,502
You know what, Jane?
2081
01:06:42,544 --> 01:06:43,878
I will enter those
games, but I have
2082
01:06:43,920 --> 01:06:45,171
a few conditions of my own.
2083
01:06:45,213 --> 01:06:47,340
Let me guess, at the
end, everybody hugs
2084
01:06:47,382 --> 01:06:49,009
and gets participation ribbons.
2085
01:06:49,050 --> 01:06:50,468
It's me versus you.
2086
01:06:50,510 --> 01:06:51,970
That's it.
2087
01:06:52,012 --> 01:06:53,263
If you win, you can keep
ignoring our traditions,
2088
01:06:53,304 --> 01:06:54,931
and you can celebrate
however you want.
2089
01:06:54,973 --> 01:06:56,141
Are you sure about this, babe?
2090
01:06:56,182 --> 01:06:57,142
I am sure, babe.
2091
01:06:57,183 --> 01:06:58,768
And if I win, guess what?
2092
01:06:58,810 --> 01:07:00,228
You back off.
2093
01:07:00,270 --> 01:07:01,646
You fall in line with
all of the HOA rules,
2094
01:07:01,688 --> 01:07:04,274
and you join your
neighbors, who are dedicated
2095
01:07:04,315 --> 01:07:07,736
to the spirit of Christmas.
2096
01:07:07,777 --> 01:07:09,195
Sign me up, sister.
2097
01:07:09,237 --> 01:07:11,865
Let the games begin.
2098
01:07:11,906 --> 01:07:13,158
Me?
A Grinch?
2099
01:07:13,199 --> 01:07:14,367
Can you believe that?
2100
01:07:14,409 --> 01:07:15,493
She's just trying
to rile you up.
2101
01:07:15,535 --> 01:07:16,953
You have to prove
nothing to her.
2102
01:07:16,995 --> 01:07:18,121
This isn't about
proving I'm not a Grinch.
2103
01:07:18,163 --> 01:07:19,748
This is about standing
up for myself,
2104
01:07:19,789 --> 01:07:22,417
my family and Evergreen Lane,
and most of all, Christmas.
2105
01:07:22,459 --> 01:07:23,293
Understood.
2106
01:07:23,335 --> 01:07:24,627
I've got your back.
2107
01:07:24,669 --> 01:07:26,254
Good, because we have
a lot of work to do.
2108
01:07:29,799 --> 01:07:31,634
All right, team,
the Christmas Games
2109
01:07:31,676 --> 01:07:34,512
are tomorrow morning, which
means you have exactly 24 hours
2110
01:07:34,554 --> 01:07:36,973
to lead me, guide
me, walk beside me
2111
01:07:37,015 --> 01:07:38,475
all the way to victory.
2112
01:07:38,516 --> 01:07:39,934
How are we feeling?
- Good.
2113
01:07:39,976 --> 01:07:40,852
It's going to be good.
2114
01:07:40,894 --> 01:07:41,770
I'm concerned.
2115
01:07:41,811 --> 01:07:42,896
She'll be fine.
2116
01:07:42,937 --> 01:07:43,688
I don't know.
2117
01:07:43,730 --> 01:07:44,981
You got this.
2118
01:07:45,023 --> 01:07:47,317
Yeah, like the cruise
director on the Titanic.
2119
01:07:47,359 --> 01:07:49,444
First things first, I
think what we should do
2120
01:07:49,486 --> 01:07:51,571
is let's list the
events and evaluate
2121
01:07:51,613 --> 01:07:52,864
your strengths and weaknesses.
2122
01:07:52,906 --> 01:07:54,157
OK.
2123
01:07:54,199 --> 01:07:55,200
That only sounds
mildly humiliating.
2124
01:07:55,241 --> 01:07:56,910
We're all family here.
2125
01:07:56,951 --> 01:07:58,912
We just want to figure out an
effective training schedule
2126
01:07:58,953 --> 01:08:00,580
and qualified mentorship.
- OK, fine.
2127
01:08:00,622 --> 01:08:01,831
Go for it.
- All right.
2128
01:08:01,873 --> 01:08:02,957
We have five events.
2129
01:08:02,999 --> 01:08:04,793
We have Christmas
tree wreath making,
2130
01:08:04,834 --> 01:08:07,420
gingerbread construction, ice
sculpting, Christmas cocktail
2131
01:08:07,462 --> 01:08:08,713
mixing, and holiday trivia.
2132
01:08:08,755 --> 01:08:09,923
What do you feel you
need the most help with?
2133
01:08:09,964 --> 01:08:10,924
- Cocktails, hands down.
- Wreath making.
2134
01:08:10,965 --> 01:08:11,800
Ice sculpting.
2135
01:08:11,841 --> 01:08:12,509
Christmas trivia.
2136
01:08:12,550 --> 01:08:14,094
No, gingerbread houses.
2137
01:08:14,135 --> 01:08:15,178
I can't just pick one.
2138
01:08:15,220 --> 01:08:16,137
Wow.
2139
01:08:16,179 --> 01:08:17,180
You guys, am I hopeless?
2140
01:08:17,222 --> 01:08:18,056
No.
2141
01:08:18,098 --> 01:08:18,848
No, darling.
2142
01:08:18,890 --> 01:08:20,433
No.
2143
01:08:20,475 --> 01:08:23,687
Emily, you are not hopeless,
not with us as coaches.
2144
01:08:23,728 --> 01:08:25,230
I think what
everyone is trying
2145
01:08:25,271 --> 01:08:27,649
to say is we have
your back every step
2146
01:08:27,691 --> 01:08:28,983
of the way, right, guys?
2147
01:08:29,025 --> 01:08:29,818
ALL: Right.
2148
01:08:33,029 --> 01:08:34,239
Right.
2149
01:08:34,280 --> 01:08:35,240
The first step
in wreath making.
2150
01:08:35,281 --> 01:08:36,366
Is selecting your wreath?
2151
01:08:36,408 --> 01:08:37,450
No, that is ridiculous.
2152
01:08:37,492 --> 01:08:38,743
Who told you that?
2153
01:08:38,785 --> 01:08:40,370
Was it Claire down
at The Craft Crate?
2154
01:08:40,412 --> 01:08:41,246
- I only talked to her once.
- Don't talk to her.
2155
01:08:41,287 --> 01:08:42,288
She talks too much, OK?
2156
01:08:42,330 --> 01:08:43,581
She's trying to undermine me.
2157
01:08:43,623 --> 01:08:45,208
What you guys
working on right now?
2158
01:08:45,250 --> 01:08:48,003
Is it the sealant for the
vent or the electrical?
2159
01:08:48,044 --> 01:08:49,254
I don't think we need vents.
2160
01:08:49,295 --> 01:08:50,630
We-- we need a vent.
2161
01:08:50,672 --> 01:08:51,506
Scotch.
2162
01:08:55,552 --> 01:08:57,095
Isn't he a dreamboat?
2163
01:08:57,137 --> 01:08:58,638
MARY LOUISE: OK, ready?
2164
01:08:58,680 --> 01:09:01,391
What language do the reindeer
names Donner and Blitzen
2165
01:09:01,433 --> 01:09:02,767
derive from?
2166
01:09:02,809 --> 01:09:03,977
Donner and Blitzen.
Donner and Blitzen.
2167
01:09:04,019 --> 01:09:05,603
You got this, Emily.
It's an easy one.
2168
01:09:05,645 --> 01:09:06,563
- Give her a chance, Jared.
- I have no clue.
2169
01:09:06,604 --> 01:09:09,149
Donner und Blitzen.
2170
01:09:09,190 --> 01:09:10,191
It's German.
2171
01:09:10,233 --> 01:09:11,192
Thunder and lightning.
2172
01:09:11,234 --> 01:09:11,985
Of course.
2173
01:09:12,027 --> 01:09:12,861
All right.
2174
01:09:12,902 --> 01:09:14,112
Tag me in.
2175
01:09:14,154 --> 01:09:16,531
Who played six different
roles in Polar Express?
2176
01:09:16,573 --> 01:09:17,532
Oh.
I know that one.
2177
01:09:17,574 --> 01:09:18,825
Tom Hanks.
- Yes.
2178
01:09:18,867 --> 01:09:19,701
Yes.
Good girl.
2179
01:09:19,743 --> 01:09:20,702
You got it.
You got it.
2180
01:09:20,744 --> 01:09:22,454
And go straight to the left.
2181
01:09:22,495 --> 01:09:24,414
Then go straight to the right.
2182
01:09:24,456 --> 01:09:25,290
You're sweet, dad.
2183
01:09:25,331 --> 01:09:26,249
I'll take it from here.
2184
01:09:30,670 --> 01:09:32,297
Now, this one clearly
is not finished.
2185
01:09:32,339 --> 01:09:34,758
This is just some stuff I picked
up on my walk this morning.
2186
01:09:34,799 --> 01:09:35,925
Beautiful.
2187
01:09:35,967 --> 01:09:37,052
Have you ever used
a hot glue gun before?
2188
01:09:37,093 --> 01:09:39,262
Put it down, please.
2189
01:09:39,304 --> 01:09:40,347
That is dangerous.
2190
01:09:40,388 --> 01:09:42,057
Did you bring your
safety goggles?
2191
01:09:42,098 --> 01:09:44,267
I don't think you really need
safety goggles for a glue gun.
2192
01:09:44,309 --> 01:09:47,103
Like, 30 people every year
get injured with hot glue guns.
2193
01:09:47,145 --> 01:09:49,147
That's something that
Claire at The Craft Crate
2194
01:09:49,189 --> 01:09:50,940
didn't tell you.
2195
01:09:50,982 --> 01:09:51,816
Lift the icing bag.
2196
01:09:51,858 --> 01:09:53,068
No, no, no.
2197
01:09:53,109 --> 01:09:54,110
You're doing really good.
- We could cover it.
2198
01:09:54,152 --> 01:09:55,528
Oh.
Jared.
2199
01:09:55,570 --> 01:09:56,905
That was my fault.
That was my fault. Sorry.
2200
01:09:56,946 --> 01:09:58,948
ALL: (SINGING) Jingle
bells, jingle bells,
2201
01:09:58,990 --> 01:10:00,742
jingle all the way.
2202
01:10:00,784 --> 01:10:03,328
What did Jimmy Stewart
find in his pocket
2203
01:10:03,370 --> 01:10:05,872
in It's a Wonderful Life?
2204
01:10:05,914 --> 01:10:07,332
- Zuzu's petal.
- Oh, I knew that.
2205
01:10:07,374 --> 01:10:08,958
I couldn't help myself.
Sorry.
2206
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,127
You're a chip off
the old ice block.
2207
01:10:16,049 --> 01:10:17,926
There is a school of
thought that unless you
2208
01:10:17,967 --> 01:10:19,469
can fit your head
through the wreath,
2209
01:10:19,511 --> 01:10:20,804
the proportions are wrong.
2210
01:10:20,845 --> 01:10:23,807
So let's do a little
check here to see if you
2211
01:10:23,848 --> 01:10:25,850
can fit your head through it.
2212
01:10:25,892 --> 01:10:27,143
Did an ornament drop?
- It did.
2213
01:10:27,185 --> 01:10:28,728
I'm so sorry.
2214
01:10:28,770 --> 01:10:29,521
Well, I guess, somebody
should have read the pamphlet
2215
01:10:29,562 --> 01:10:30,271
with the hot glue gun.
2216
01:10:30,313 --> 01:10:31,856
Final gumdrop.
2217
01:10:31,898 --> 01:10:32,691
Ready?
2218
01:10:32,732 --> 01:10:33,525
Go.
2219
01:10:33,566 --> 01:10:35,026
Here we go.
2220
01:10:35,068 --> 01:10:37,487
It's like the capstone.
2221
01:10:37,529 --> 01:10:38,571
EMILY: Oh.
2222
01:10:38,613 --> 01:10:39,406
All right.
2223
01:10:39,447 --> 01:10:40,281
Moment of truth.
2224
01:10:42,742 --> 01:10:43,618
Cheers.
2225
01:10:48,289 --> 01:10:49,499
10 out of 10 lords a-leaping.
2226
01:10:49,541 --> 01:10:51,084
Delicious.
2227
01:10:51,126 --> 01:10:52,085
That's fantastic.
2228
01:10:54,879 --> 01:10:56,381
- You make that yourself?
- Oh.
2229
01:10:56,423 --> 01:10:57,132
Jimmy, hi.
2230
01:10:57,173 --> 01:10:58,133
Wow.
2231
01:10:58,174 --> 01:10:59,134
I didn't see you there.
2232
01:10:59,175 --> 01:11:00,427
Yes, I did.
2233
01:11:00,468 --> 01:11:01,511
I had a little
coaching, but yeah.
2234
01:11:01,553 --> 01:11:03,221
Looks delicious.
2235
01:11:03,263 --> 01:11:04,806
Well, thank you.
2236
01:11:04,848 --> 01:11:06,307
My parents always make
the best gingerbread houses.
2237
01:11:06,349 --> 01:11:08,268
But they never let me eat
them because you're not
2238
01:11:08,309 --> 01:11:09,436
supposed to eat works of art.
2239
01:11:09,477 --> 01:11:10,562
Well, that's too bad.
2240
01:11:10,603 --> 01:11:11,896
Eating them is the best part.
2241
01:11:11,938 --> 01:11:13,732
Do you want to eat this one?
2242
01:11:13,773 --> 01:11:14,899
- Serious?
- Why not?
2243
01:11:14,941 --> 01:11:16,735
It's just a practice house.
2244
01:11:16,776 --> 01:11:18,319
I ate a whole wall while I
was making it, so I'm stuffed.
2245
01:11:18,361 --> 01:11:20,405
Just promise me you'll ask
your parents first, OK?
2246
01:11:20,447 --> 01:11:21,239
I promise.
2247
01:11:21,281 --> 01:11:22,741
You know what?
2248
01:11:22,782 --> 01:11:24,242
You remind me so much
of myself when I was--
2249
01:11:24,284 --> 01:11:27,328
Thank you.
2250
01:11:27,370 --> 01:11:29,414
You're welcome.
2251
01:11:29,456 --> 01:11:32,000
You're welcome.
2252
01:11:32,042 --> 01:11:33,710
On the 11th day
of Christmas, what
2253
01:11:33,752 --> 01:11:35,003
did my true love send to me?
- Eleven pipers piping.
2254
01:11:35,045 --> 01:11:36,588
How do you say Merry
Christmas in Spanish?
2255
01:11:36,629 --> 01:11:37,505
Feliz navidad.
2256
01:11:37,547 --> 01:11:38,882
I can also sing it.
2257
01:11:38,923 --> 01:11:40,258
How many ghosts show
up in Christmas Carol?
2258
01:11:40,300 --> 01:11:42,093
Dickens four, Muppets five.
2259
01:11:42,135 --> 01:11:43,261
Look what Emily gave me.
2260
01:11:43,303 --> 01:11:45,221
You've got to be kidding me.
2261
01:11:45,263 --> 01:11:46,681
No way she made that herself.
2262
01:11:46,723 --> 01:11:48,600
She said I could eat it
if it's OK with you guys.
2263
01:11:48,641 --> 01:11:50,268
Absolutely not.
2264
01:11:50,310 --> 01:11:51,895
We need to study her design
and make sure we can top it.
2265
01:11:51,936 --> 01:11:53,521
Yeah, your mother's right.
2266
01:11:53,563 --> 01:11:55,231
This is an opportunity
to really crush them.
2267
01:11:55,273 --> 01:11:57,233
I'm tired of crushing people.
2268
01:11:57,275 --> 01:12:00,653
Seriously, it's all that
we've done since we got on TV.
2269
01:12:00,695 --> 01:12:02,697
I wish we never would
have won Ho Ho House.
2270
01:12:02,739 --> 01:12:04,783
[gasps] Don't say that.
2271
01:12:04,824 --> 01:12:07,160
We're the Jolly
Johnsons, kiddo.
2272
01:12:07,202 --> 01:12:09,788
Maybe I just want to be
the regular Johnsons who
2273
01:12:09,829 --> 01:12:14,292
have regular Christmas like you
promised me when we moved here.
2274
01:12:14,334 --> 01:12:15,710
You said it yourself.
2275
01:12:15,752 --> 01:12:17,253
You didn't want people
to treat you different.
2276
01:12:17,295 --> 01:12:18,630
And we meant it.
2277
01:12:18,672 --> 01:12:20,382
Then maybe you should
stop trying to prove
2278
01:12:20,423 --> 01:12:22,008
that you're better than them.
2279
01:12:22,050 --> 01:12:24,928
[sad music]
2280
01:12:30,350 --> 01:12:33,687
Looks like my
work here is done.
2281
01:12:33,728 --> 01:12:34,604
So how's everything?
2282
01:12:34,646 --> 01:12:35,980
It's good.
2283
01:12:36,022 --> 01:12:37,482
I just want it to be
just right, you know?
2284
01:12:37,524 --> 01:12:39,025
I meant with you and Jared.
2285
01:12:39,067 --> 01:12:39,776
Oh, good.
2286
01:12:39,818 --> 01:12:40,735
I don't know.
2287
01:12:40,777 --> 01:12:42,404
It's kind of hard to tell.
2288
01:12:42,445 --> 01:12:44,531
We've been wrapped up in all
this Christmas craziness.
2289
01:12:44,572 --> 01:12:46,324
I can understand that.
2290
01:12:46,366 --> 01:12:49,536
Just don't let it get in the way
of what's really important, OK?
2291
01:12:49,577 --> 01:12:51,204
I won't.
2292
01:12:51,246 --> 01:12:54,499
Whatever happens tomorrow,
I'm proud of you, Emily.
2293
01:12:54,541 --> 01:12:55,500
Aww.
2294
01:12:55,542 --> 01:12:56,501
Thanks, Dad.
2295
01:12:56,543 --> 01:12:58,003
OK, I got to go.
2296
01:12:58,044 --> 01:13:00,171
Time for my annual
Christmas Die Hard marathon.
2297
01:13:00,213 --> 01:13:02,382
Oh, maybe I'll join
you for part two.
2298
01:13:02,424 --> 01:13:03,216
ALBERT: Come on.
2299
01:13:06,553 --> 01:13:07,846
Pretty good.
2300
01:13:07,887 --> 01:13:09,097
How are you feeling
about tomorrow?
2301
01:13:09,139 --> 01:13:10,682
Well, if it's going to
be anything like today,
2302
01:13:10,724 --> 01:13:12,684
it's going to be very
long and very difficult.
2303
01:13:12,726 --> 01:13:14,561
Well, I think it's
going to be a great day.
2304
01:13:14,602 --> 01:13:15,562
- Really?
- Yeah.
2305
01:13:15,603 --> 01:13:16,438
You know why?
2306
01:13:16,479 --> 01:13:18,189
Enlighten me.
2307
01:13:18,231 --> 01:13:22,527
Well, you are trying to save
Christmas for the rest of us.
2308
01:13:22,569 --> 01:13:25,864
And that makes you
my John McClain.
2309
01:13:25,905 --> 01:13:28,241
What does that mean?
2310
01:13:28,283 --> 01:13:29,617
You're my Christmas hero.
2311
01:13:29,659 --> 01:13:30,493
Oh.
2312
01:13:32,996 --> 01:13:34,247
All right.
2313
01:13:34,289 --> 01:13:35,498
Go get some sleep because
I have to go home.
2314
01:13:35,540 --> 01:13:36,374
Oh.
2315
01:13:36,416 --> 01:13:37,792
Don't leave.
2316
01:13:37,834 --> 01:13:39,502
I don't want to.
2317
01:13:39,544 --> 01:13:42,797
But I'm a little behind on
your Christmas surprise, so--
2318
01:13:42,839 --> 01:13:44,341
Well, then you
better hop to it.
2319
01:13:47,010 --> 01:13:47,594
Love you.
2320
01:13:47,635 --> 01:13:48,511
I love you too.
2321
01:13:52,349 --> 01:13:53,683
Take care of that knee, John.
2322
01:13:53,725 --> 01:13:55,852
[laughter]
2323
01:13:56,561 --> 01:13:58,021
All right.
2324
01:13:58,063 --> 01:13:59,606
How many ghosts show up
in A Christmas Carol?
2325
01:13:59,647 --> 01:14:01,149
Four.
2326
01:14:01,191 --> 01:14:03,068
In the song, what was
Frosty the Snowman's nose?
2327
01:14:03,109 --> 01:14:04,069
A button.
2328
01:14:04,110 --> 01:14:05,570
What popular
Christmas song warns
2329
01:14:05,612 --> 01:14:08,490
that you better watch out?
2330
01:14:08,531 --> 01:14:09,908
"Santa Claus is Coming to Town."
2331
01:14:12,911 --> 01:14:13,745
Where is she?
2332
01:14:13,787 --> 01:14:14,788
She's never late.
2333
01:14:14,829 --> 01:14:16,581
She'll be here.
2334
01:14:16,623 --> 01:14:19,000
She's going to be here.
2335
01:14:19,042 --> 01:14:20,043
There she is.
She's coming.
2336
01:14:20,085 --> 01:14:20,960
She's coming.
2337
01:14:21,002 --> 01:14:22,212
Oh, Pamela, you're here.
2338
01:14:22,253 --> 01:14:23,588
Oh.
2339
01:14:23,630 --> 01:14:28,301
Sorry I'm late, but I have
a really great reason.
2340
01:14:28,343 --> 01:14:29,219
Allan.
2341
01:14:29,260 --> 01:14:31,137
I designed them myself.
2342
01:14:31,179 --> 01:14:34,391
OK, sure, babe, but who was up
all night hand stitching them?
2343
01:14:34,432 --> 01:14:35,475
Me.
2344
01:14:35,517 --> 01:14:36,685
It was me.
2345
01:14:36,726 --> 01:14:40,480
There's one for all of you.
2346
01:14:40,522 --> 01:14:42,023
Here, Emily.
2347
01:14:42,065 --> 01:14:44,651
Even though you're the
one representing us today,
2348
01:14:44,693 --> 01:14:49,989
this way, you'll know that
we've all got your back.
2349
01:14:50,031 --> 01:14:53,201
[upbeat music]
2350
01:14:57,706 --> 01:15:01,960
(SINGING) I'm just
feeling jolly.
2351
01:15:02,002 --> 01:15:06,214
Deck the halls in holly.
2352
01:15:06,256 --> 01:15:07,757
Yeah, I'm just feeling jolly.
2353
01:15:10,552 --> 01:15:14,848
Deck the halls in holly.
2354
01:15:14,889 --> 01:15:16,182
I'm just feeling jolly.
2355
01:15:19,019 --> 01:15:20,437
I'm just feeling jolly.
2356
01:15:23,106 --> 01:15:25,191
Deck the halls in holly.
2357
01:15:28,069 --> 01:15:30,864
I'm just feeling--
I'm sipping eggnog.
2358
01:15:30,905 --> 01:15:34,993
I'll leave these flashing
lights, burning that yule log,
2359
01:15:35,035 --> 01:15:37,412
making the season bright.
2360
01:15:37,454 --> 01:15:40,040
[cheering]
2361
01:15:40,081 --> 01:15:42,208
Let's hear it for
our contestants.
2362
01:15:45,503 --> 01:15:46,212
You ready for this?
2363
01:15:46,254 --> 01:15:47,297
I guess, we'll see.
2364
01:15:47,339 --> 01:15:51,509
Oh, it's on like gray poupon.
2365
01:15:51,551 --> 01:15:53,094
ALLAN: Welcome,
ladies and gentlemen,
2366
01:15:53,136 --> 01:15:55,055
to the first annual
Christmas Games.
2367
01:15:55,096 --> 01:15:57,849
[cheering]
2368
01:15:57,891 --> 01:16:00,477
Few competitors will go head
to head in a fierce competition
2369
01:16:00,518 --> 01:16:02,395
to decide who has
the most Christmas
2370
01:16:02,437 --> 01:16:06,900
spirit on Evergreen Lane and
be named the Christmas GOAT.
2371
01:16:06,941 --> 01:16:08,526
We want Jane!
2372
01:16:08,568 --> 01:16:10,070
CROWD: (CHANTING) We want Jane!
2373
01:16:10,111 --> 01:16:12,280
We want Jane!
2374
01:16:12,322 --> 01:16:14,032
Emily!
2375
01:16:14,074 --> 01:16:15,533
Emily!
2376
01:16:15,575 --> 01:16:18,370
[chatnting]
2377
01:16:21,915 --> 01:16:24,793
[arguing]
2378
01:16:42,060 --> 01:16:43,186
EMILY: No, everyone, stop.
2379
01:16:43,228 --> 01:16:44,604
Please just stop.
2380
01:16:44,646 --> 01:16:46,106
Can you just stop?
2381
01:16:46,147 --> 01:16:48,316
Oh, for the love of
Christmas, just stop!
2382
01:16:51,152 --> 01:16:53,196
What is happening to us?
2383
01:16:53,238 --> 01:16:54,864
I mean, look around, you guys.
2384
01:16:54,906 --> 01:16:57,909
Don't you realize
it's Christmas?
2385
01:16:57,951 --> 01:16:59,285
You know that last
year, I moved back
2386
01:16:59,327 --> 01:17:03,289
because I fell in
love and not just
2387
01:17:03,331 --> 01:17:05,333
with Jared but with
this whole neighborhood.
2388
01:17:05,375 --> 01:17:09,546
This place is so special.
2389
01:17:09,587 --> 01:17:11,089
I mean, we take
care of each other.
2390
01:17:11,131 --> 01:17:13,591
We look out for each other.
2391
01:17:13,633 --> 01:17:15,552
We bring out the
best in each other.
2392
01:17:15,593 --> 01:17:19,431
But all I see are people
I don't even recognize.
2393
01:17:19,472 --> 01:17:21,891
I don't even recognize myself.
2394
01:17:21,933 --> 01:17:23,309
Christmas isn't
a game, you guys.
2395
01:17:23,351 --> 01:17:25,311
It's not about
sides and winning.
2396
01:17:25,353 --> 01:17:26,896
We're one neighborhood.
2397
01:17:26,938 --> 01:17:30,567
And if we can't come together,
especially at Christmas,
2398
01:17:30,608 --> 01:17:33,695
then I don't know if
this is the neighborhood
2399
01:17:33,737 --> 01:17:34,654
I fell in love with.
2400
01:17:37,449 --> 01:17:39,159
I'm sorry, but I
have to withdraw.
2401
01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:40,869
And it's not because
I might lose.
2402
01:17:40,910 --> 01:17:42,245
I would most definitely lose.
2403
01:17:42,287 --> 01:17:45,874
But it's because this isn't us.
2404
01:17:45,915 --> 01:17:49,794
I want to have a joyful
Christmas that's full of love,
2405
01:17:49,836 --> 01:17:53,548
and I'm pretty sure you do too.
2406
01:17:53,590 --> 01:17:56,551
[applause]
2407
01:18:01,890 --> 01:18:04,851
[cheering]
2408
01:18:09,814 --> 01:18:11,191
A deal's a deal.
2409
01:18:11,232 --> 01:18:13,860
If you withdraw, you
lose, and I get my way.
2410
01:18:13,902 --> 01:18:15,737
I know.
2411
01:18:15,779 --> 01:18:18,114
And I'd rather you have your
way than be at odds with you,
2412
01:18:18,156 --> 01:18:19,324
so you win.
2413
01:18:19,366 --> 01:18:20,617
Congratulations.
2414
01:18:20,658 --> 01:18:22,577
You can celebrate
however you want.
2415
01:18:22,619 --> 01:18:24,871
And I'm going to go celebrate
Christmas with the people I
2416
01:18:24,913 --> 01:18:26,539
love the most.
2417
01:18:26,581 --> 01:18:29,834
What if all we want is to
be a part of Evergreen Lane?
2418
01:18:29,876 --> 01:18:32,295
Jane, I don't know what kind
of game you're trying to play,
2419
01:18:32,337 --> 01:18:33,630
but please--
- No game.
2420
01:18:33,672 --> 01:18:35,507
No competition.
2421
01:18:35,548 --> 01:18:37,050
Just real.
2422
01:18:37,092 --> 01:18:39,177
Today, you reminded us of what
Christmas used to mean to us
2423
01:18:39,219 --> 01:18:43,765
before we were, well, jolly.
2424
01:18:47,227 --> 01:18:48,895
She's right.
2425
01:18:48,937 --> 01:18:52,899
We just want to be the Johnsons
again on the jolliest street
2426
01:18:52,941 --> 01:18:54,734
that ever existed.
2427
01:18:54,776 --> 01:18:55,902
Should we start over?
2428
01:18:55,944 --> 01:18:57,612
I would really like that.
2429
01:19:00,657 --> 01:19:03,618
[cheering]
2430
01:19:10,083 --> 01:19:11,251
Now, that's a photo.
2431
01:19:11,292 --> 01:19:14,004
[happy music]
2432
01:19:15,797 --> 01:19:17,465
You got to get me
one of those jackets.
2433
01:19:17,507 --> 01:19:20,218
I'll get you one, buddy.
2434
01:19:20,260 --> 01:19:21,344
You need to talk to him.
2435
01:19:21,386 --> 01:19:22,554
I don't want to.
2436
01:19:25,515 --> 01:19:27,142
You got a little
something on your sweater.
2437
01:19:27,183 --> 01:19:28,018
What?
Oh.
2438
01:19:32,605 --> 01:19:34,482
Maybe next year, we
could maybe bake together,
2439
01:19:34,524 --> 01:19:36,109
something like that.
2440
01:19:36,151 --> 01:19:37,110
In your dreams.
2441
01:19:37,152 --> 01:19:38,278
OK, I cook alone, all right?
2442
01:19:38,319 --> 01:19:39,863
I cook alone.
2443
01:19:39,904 --> 01:19:42,407
["jingle bells" playing]
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
2444
01:19:42,449 --> 01:19:45,368
jingle all the way.
2445
01:19:45,410 --> 01:19:46,828
Oh, what fun--
2446
01:19:46,870 --> 01:19:48,163
JARED: You look beautiful.
2447
01:19:48,204 --> 01:19:49,122
Aw, thank you.
2448
01:19:49,164 --> 01:19:50,999
You look so handsome.
2449
01:19:51,041 --> 01:19:52,876
This is quite a turnout.
2450
01:19:52,917 --> 01:19:55,462
That art station is
absolutely bonkers.
2451
01:19:55,503 --> 01:19:58,173
You know, I-- this might be
the best Christmas Carnival
2452
01:19:58,214 --> 01:20:00,383
we've ever had, thanks to you.
2453
01:20:00,425 --> 01:20:02,177
Aw, it was a team effort.
2454
01:20:02,218 --> 01:20:03,970
We got a pretty good
thing going, don't we?
2455
01:20:04,012 --> 01:20:05,347
You know what?
2456
01:20:05,388 --> 01:20:06,681
I think it's more
perfect than perfect.
2457
01:20:06,723 --> 01:20:09,059
So are you.
2458
01:20:09,100 --> 01:20:10,852
PAMELA: Hey, you two.
2459
01:20:10,894 --> 01:20:14,064
Look, honey, young love.
2460
01:20:14,105 --> 01:20:15,273
EMILY: Speaking of young love--
2461
01:20:15,315 --> 01:20:16,816
JARED: Yeah.
2462
01:20:16,858 --> 01:20:19,194
PAMELA: Helen, honey,
Santa's watching.
2463
01:20:19,235 --> 01:20:20,362
Only gets better, kids.
2464
01:20:23,531 --> 01:20:26,117
JOE: Ho, ho, ho,
merry Christmas.
2465
01:20:26,159 --> 01:20:27,035
High five.
2466
01:20:27,077 --> 01:20:28,286
JANE: Merry Christmas.
2467
01:20:28,328 --> 01:20:29,871
Yeah, all right.
2468
01:20:29,913 --> 01:20:30,747
Good job.
2469
01:20:30,789 --> 01:20:32,415
Ho, ho, ho.
2470
01:20:32,457 --> 01:20:34,668
EMILY: Are you sure
you're OK with this?
2471
01:20:34,709 --> 01:20:37,337
If you could only see
how much it meant to him.
2472
01:20:37,379 --> 01:20:38,963
Plus, he told me he
was going to introduce
2473
01:20:39,005 --> 01:20:42,175
me to the people that run
the Norwegian Santa Academy.
2474
01:20:42,217 --> 01:20:44,010
We should table that for now.
2475
01:20:44,052 --> 01:20:45,512
Tabled and chaired.
2476
01:20:45,553 --> 01:20:47,180
In the meantime, I have to
take care of a few things.
2477
01:20:47,222 --> 01:20:48,348
OK.
2478
01:20:48,390 --> 01:20:49,349
I'm going to be on cocoa duty.
2479
01:20:49,391 --> 01:20:50,433
But I'll see you after, right?
2480
01:20:50,475 --> 01:20:52,227
Right as reindeer.
2481
01:20:52,268 --> 01:20:53,770
I don't think that's a saying.
2482
01:20:53,812 --> 01:20:54,354
But it could be.
2483
01:20:54,396 --> 01:20:55,563
But it could be.
2484
01:20:55,605 --> 01:20:56,439
Right.
2485
01:21:01,361 --> 01:21:02,237
There you go.
2486
01:21:02,278 --> 01:21:03,113
WOMAN: Merry Christmas.
2487
01:21:03,154 --> 01:21:04,531
EMILY: Merry Christmas.
2488
01:21:04,572 --> 01:21:06,366
Oh, I'm so glad
you guys are here.
2489
01:21:06,408 --> 01:21:08,034
It's great to be
back helping out.
2490
01:21:08,076 --> 01:21:11,413
You and Jared have done such
a great job bringing all of this
2491
01:21:11,454 --> 01:21:12,914
together.
2492
01:21:12,956 --> 01:21:15,834
We feel very confident in
you taking over the HOA.
2493
01:21:15,875 --> 01:21:17,544
Thanks, Mom.
2494
01:21:17,585 --> 01:21:19,713
Does being back here makes you
guys miss the old glory days?
2495
01:21:19,754 --> 01:21:22,424
I forget how exhausting it
is putting out all the fires.
2496
01:21:22,465 --> 01:21:23,550
He is lying.
2497
01:21:23,591 --> 01:21:25,093
He definitely misses the drama.
2498
01:21:25,135 --> 01:21:25,969
Aw.
2499
01:21:26,011 --> 01:21:26,970
And what about you?
2500
01:21:27,012 --> 01:21:28,596
GAIL: I miss the neighbors.
2501
01:21:28,638 --> 01:21:30,390
These people are our family.
2502
01:21:30,432 --> 01:21:33,018
Well, if Jared and Emily
ever end up together,
2503
01:21:33,059 --> 01:21:36,229
there might be a house that
comes back on the market.
2504
01:21:36,271 --> 01:21:37,647
Any progress on that front?
2505
01:21:37,689 --> 01:21:40,066
Let's just focus on Christmas.
2506
01:21:40,108 --> 01:21:41,401
Shall we?
2507
01:21:41,443 --> 01:21:43,111
I always liked that
Jared Farnsworth.
2508
01:21:43,153 --> 01:21:44,821
He's an architect, you know?
2509
01:21:44,863 --> 01:21:46,322
You don't say.
2510
01:21:46,364 --> 01:21:47,824
Where is my young
apprentice, anyway?
2511
01:21:47,866 --> 01:21:49,284
He's missing all the fun.
- I don't know.
2512
01:21:49,325 --> 01:21:50,869
He disappeared
about an hour ago.
2513
01:21:50,910 --> 01:21:54,581
He said he had some last-minute
plans to take care of.
2514
01:21:54,622 --> 01:21:55,498
Hmm.
2515
01:21:55,540 --> 01:21:58,626
[carriage squeaking]
2516
01:22:01,463 --> 01:22:05,383
[light music]
2517
01:22:05,425 --> 01:22:07,719
These are for you.
2518
01:22:07,761 --> 01:22:10,513
And your presence is requested.
2519
01:22:10,555 --> 01:22:11,806
What is all this?
2520
01:22:11,848 --> 01:22:14,517
Well, whatever it
is, it looks magical.
2521
01:22:14,559 --> 01:22:17,604
[enchanting music]
2522
01:22:20,982 --> 01:22:21,941
Trade you?
2523
01:22:21,983 --> 01:22:22,984
Gladly, my lady.
2524
01:22:31,076 --> 01:22:33,536
[festive music]
2525
01:22:33,578 --> 01:22:35,497
Let her go, Mike.
2526
01:22:35,538 --> 01:22:39,334
(SINGING) Red and green
packages under the tree.
2527
01:22:39,376 --> 01:22:42,003
Twinkling lights are
all on in the street.
2528
01:22:42,045 --> 01:22:43,046
What is happening?
2529
01:22:43,088 --> 01:22:45,465
(SINGING) Carolers caroling.
2530
01:22:45,507 --> 01:22:50,637
I hear them sing,
it's Christmas again.
2531
01:22:50,679 --> 01:22:56,476
I feel like a kid in
December, the first time
2532
01:22:56,518 --> 01:22:59,479
in what feels like forever.
2533
01:22:59,521 --> 01:23:02,357
Love's on my list, and
I'm taking a chance.
2534
01:23:02,399 --> 01:23:08,238
Because when is it going
to be Christmas again?
2535
01:23:08,279 --> 01:23:11,282
[romantic music]
2536
01:23:22,002 --> 01:23:24,379
What is all this?
2537
01:23:24,421 --> 01:23:26,506
I'm trying to get
you all to myself.
2538
01:23:26,548 --> 01:23:29,050
Along with a string quartet?
2539
01:23:29,092 --> 01:23:30,468
Just roll with it.
2540
01:23:30,510 --> 01:23:31,928
I'm getting a little nervous.
2541
01:23:31,970 --> 01:23:32,971
Don't be nervous.
2542
01:23:33,013 --> 01:23:34,597
I just got you a
Christmas present.
2543
01:23:34,639 --> 01:23:37,183
It's beautiful, but
you didn't wrap it.
2544
01:23:37,225 --> 01:23:38,143
It's what's inside.
2545
01:23:41,730 --> 01:23:43,606
Is this really happening?
2546
01:23:43,648 --> 01:23:47,444
Emily Melrose, I've been
in love with you forever.
2547
01:23:47,485 --> 01:23:51,072
And I will always
be in love with you.
2548
01:23:51,114 --> 01:23:52,699
Will you marry me?
2549
01:23:52,741 --> 01:23:53,616
Yes.
2550
01:23:56,911 --> 01:23:59,164
Oh, my goodness.
2551
01:23:59,205 --> 01:24:01,249
[laughs]
2552
01:24:07,255 --> 01:24:08,381
Merry Christmas.
2553
01:24:08,423 --> 01:24:10,050
Merry Christmas.
2554
01:24:10,091 --> 01:24:11,509
EMILY (VOICEOVER): Another
year, another great Christmas
2555
01:24:11,551 --> 01:24:12,302
on Evergreen Lane.
2556
01:24:15,430 --> 01:24:17,307
And Jared found a way
to one up anything
2557
01:24:17,349 --> 01:24:20,226
even the Jolly Johnsons
could have done that year.
2558
01:24:20,268 --> 01:24:21,728
It's funny.
2559
01:24:21,770 --> 01:24:23,271
I never asked Santa for
Jared to propose to me,
2560
01:24:23,313 --> 01:24:27,609
but somehow, he already
knew exactly what I wanted.
2561
01:24:31,071 --> 01:24:34,115
[festive music]
178657
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