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1
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,600
Hey, Dizzy. Best hangover cure -
sardines on toast.
2
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,440
Simone.
3
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,000
Just because he plays guitar
4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,120
does not mean that
you're in love with him.
5
00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:18,880
Bye, Brian.
6
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,640
And remember,
Joe Rogan is not a scientist.
7
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,240
Ozzie, my man!
8
00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:25,960
All the best for tomorrow, mate.
9
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,640
Austin! Come on, mate!
10
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,040
We've actually got
a lot more in common than you think.
11
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,760
Like, we both really like...
12
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,000
..your mum.
13
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,600
The only thing that
we have in common, Eric,
14
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,960
is that we're both forklift drivers
and are 60% water.
15
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,560
Goodbye, Eric. Heads up!
16
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,720
Hello, Tam.
17
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,000
I have prepared for you
18
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,680
a list of Meryl Streep's
best performances in films,
19
00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,760
for which she did not
receive an Oscar,
20
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,920
starting with Death Becomes Her
and ending with The River Wild.
21
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,280
Oh. Thank you, Austin.
22
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,960
And good luck tomorrow.
Thank you.
23
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,360
He'll never see it coming.
Indeed, he won't.
24
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,120
- Heidi. Uh, hi.
- Julian.
25
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,200
Oh, thank God. I've been trying
to get hold of you for hours.
26
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,400
So, what's going on?
27
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,640
Have you been on Twitter, or X,
28
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,240
or whatever it is
they're calling it these days?
29
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,160
No.
Well, you're trending.
30
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,400
That's fantastic!
31
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,640
No. Not fantastic, Julian.
You're a hate figure.
32
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,480
Well, envious of success.
British disease, I'm afraid.
33
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,400
No, I think it's probably got
something to do with the fact
34
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,200
that you retweeted
a white supremacist.
35
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:03,040
Retweeted a what?
36
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,480
A Nazi.
37
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,640
Ingrid.
Oh! Sorry.
38
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,840
I just got off the phone with Heidi.
The signings off today.
39
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,560
Uh, Dymocks have pulled out.
40
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:17,800
That's annoying.
Yeah.
41
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,680
Why has Big Bear got no shorts on?
42
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,280
Oh, it's just ideas I'm sketching.
43
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,160
I think maybe shorts and no top,
44
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,960
but not no top, no shorts,
it's...it's a bit kinky.
45
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,400
Well, he's an innocent, Julian.
He hasn't got sex organs.
46
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,720
Hasn't he? 'Cause that's
a major creative decision.
47
00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,360
I might have wanted to do
something about that
48
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,880
further down the line.
Oh, might you?
49
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,720
You so did Dymocks give a reason
why they didn't want to do the...
50
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,400
Oh, it's just a fuss about nothing.
51
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,920
Basically, I re-X'ed, um...
What?
52
00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:45,000
Retweeted something about
freedom of speech,
53
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,680
which I defy anyone who cares about
an open democracy to disagree with.
54
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,080
And that's why they've cancelled?
55
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,720
Well, it transpires that
the original tweetee was, um...
56
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:56,960
..is, uh, quite a prominent,
um, rather active, um,
57
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,480
very successful in his own rights,
58
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,680
uh, neo-Nazi.
59
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,120
Julian. Jesus!
60
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,760
Well, how was I supposed to know?
he didn't have any of the gear on?
61
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:08,320
And I re-emphasise -
the tweet itself
62
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,160
was a perfectly reasonable
statement.
63
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,400
By a neo-Nazi.
64
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,800
Well, newsflash,
bad people are sometimes right
65
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,280
about certain things.
66
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,920
I mean, I know that nuance
67
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,240
is now lost from our discourse,
but it's true.
68
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,560
There are probably some things
you'd agree with Hitler about.
69
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,160
Julian, please don't choose this
as a hill you want to die on,
70
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,480
or your obituary's
just going to read,
71
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,360
"Julian Hartswood,
co-creator of Big Bear,
72
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,560
"who thought Hitler
had a couple of good points,
73
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,480
"was stoned to death yesterday
by woke toddlers."
74
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,000
Fine. I take your point.
75
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,600
Do you really think
I'll get an obituary?
76
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,480
Is this going to impact
the rest of the tour?
77
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,520
No, no, no. I spoke to Heidi.
78
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,320
She's going to put her PR guy on it
first thing in the morning.
79
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,400
I mean, tomorrow, it'll
all be yesterday's news anyway.
80
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,120
Will it?
Yeah.
81
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,000
But will it?
I think so.
82
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,520
Will it, though?
83
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,640
I'm going to go and take a shower.
84
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,920
Stick some pants on that bear.
85
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,120
Hello!
Ingrid!
86
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,920
It's Monica from Stone and Crow.
87
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,120
Oh, hi.
88
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:27,000
Listen, with everything
that's going on,
89
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,600
I just wanted to
reach out to let you know
90
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,360
how much we value working with you.
91
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,720
Hopefully for a long time to come.
92
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,200
Oh, well, thank...
thank you so much.
93
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,640
That... That's really good to know.
I'll let Jules know.
94
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,320
Well, I meant YOU.
95
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:41,320
Oh.
96
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,920
Incidentally, I was talking about
you with Nathan's sister's team.
97
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,920
He's looking for a new illustrator.
98
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,560
We thought you'd be a brilliant fit.
99
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,600
Oh! Wow...
100
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,040
Um, obviously, I'm very flattered,
but, um...
101
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,400
I've never worked with anyone
other than Julian.
102
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,520
Well...have a think about it.
103
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,920
4:30's perfect. Yeah.
104
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,360
Uh, sorry. What was your name?
105
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,560
Uh, it's Odin.
Odin. Fantastic.
106
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,480
Well, thank you, Odin.
107
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:14,640
We shall see you later. Yeah.
OK! Thank you.
108
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:16,880
No, no. Thank you. Yeah.
Bye-bye.
109
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,120
Bye.
110
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,880
Are you trying to get uncancelled?
111
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,600
Negatory. Cancellation acceptardo.
112
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,880
Oh, no. You're not trying to
find a workaround.
113
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:28,880
I found one.
114
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:31,080
I called a few bookstores,
and, um...
115
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,440
..these guys, uh, The True Reader,
116
00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,440
are more than happy to host us.
117
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,920
Or...
118
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:41,600
..we could have a day off.
119
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,560
Boring.
Oh, thanks.
120
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,240
Don't you have to run it
by Stone And Crow?
121
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,480
No point.
They'll all be in bed now anyway.
122
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:51,240
No, they can find out tomorrow
and actually feel quite embarrassed
123
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,800
they didn't have the moxie
to organise this.
124
00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,440
What can I do? What can I do?
125
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,560
I think just stand there.
126
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,480
Five minutes.
127
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:04,480
Over there.
128
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,640
I'm so sorry, guys.
129
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,160
It's alright.
You're just doing your job.
130
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,000
We'd be so grateful
if you didn't remember us like this.
131
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,840
It's such a shame.
I was brought up on Big Bear.
132
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:14,040
I think we all were here.
Careful!
133
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,400
That's a beloved childhood icon.
134
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,880
If it had been anything
other than racism,
135
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,800
I think you probably
would have been OK.
136
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,400
They're just really strict
on that here, unfortunately.
137
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:22,720
Me too.
138
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,680
'Cause I didn't actually
retreat anything racist.
139
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,200
It was actually about
freedom of speech.
140
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,480
Luckily, there are still
some bookshops in this city
141
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,600
that understand
that crucial distinction.
142
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,920
So sorry.
Bye.
143
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,640
My childhood was a lie.
144
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,040
How would YOU describe that font?
145
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,080
I mean, at the very least,
I'd have to say Germanic.
146
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,280
Honestly, makes me think
of the New York Times.
147
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,040
Yeah. You don't think it has
overtones of racism?
148
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,160
No. Loads of papers use it.
149
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,120
Daily Telegraph,
and they're not...um...
150
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,000
Let's just get the stuff inside.
151
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,320
Julian, there's quite a lot
of copies of Mein Kampf.
152
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,280
OK, well,
it's a historical document.
153
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:21,680
Lots of bookshops have it.
Oh, yeah?
154
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:23,840
In a window display,
in the original German?
155
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,080
Really?
156
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,720
Hey, you two.
Hey.
157
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,680
Can I get you anything,
like a tea or a coffee?
158
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,800
Uh...
159
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,960
Oh, a coffee would be great.
Yeah, coffee would be great.
160
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,480
Actually, do you know what?
161
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:40,000
I fancy a tea, but, um...
yeah, not too strong.
162
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,600
OK. Just show it the bag.
163
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:42,720
Show it the bag.
164
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,240
Yeah. Too easy.
165
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,960
Julian. Julian.
166
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,320
Did you see their knuckles?
167
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,000
Yeah. 'Hate race'.
And you know what? Me too.
168
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,560
It's a social construct.
Very divisive.
169
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,280
Julian.
170
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,640
Race hate.
171
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,120
We need to get out of here now.
We need to go.
172
00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,480
What are we going to do
with the books?
173
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,320
Forget the books. They're gone.
They're gone.
174
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:02,600
I'm not leaving Big Bear here.
175
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,240
He looks like he's heiling Hitler.
176
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,320
No, Julian, wait.
177
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,080
So, how long have we been
on the website?
178
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,800
I don't know. A couple of hours.
OK.
179
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,920
And nobody's here,
so maybe nobody saw it.
180
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,760
We need to get it down now.
Right.
181
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,600
OK.
Um...
182
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,680
Odin?
183
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,120
Yeah.
184
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,480
Such a pretty name.
185
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:26,760
Um, what is
the Wi-Fi password, please?
186
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,600
Oh, Dresden45.
187
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,600
Capital D.
188
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,800
Crap.
Crap, crap, crap.
189
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,360
OK, you do that.
190
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,720
If anybody comes in, you tell them
it's been cancelled, OK?
191
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:41,960
OK. What were you gonna do?
192
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,640
I'm just going to go
and say I'm terribly sorry.
193
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,560
It's like a terrible
misunderstanding kind of thing.
194
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:46,960
Really? Are you sure?
Maybe I should...
195
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,120
No, I don't think...
I think, let's be honest,
196
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,640
I have got a less confronting face.
197
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,520
What's wrong with my face?
198
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,960
I'm a massive fan of your face.
199
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,160
I just think there are circumstances
in which your face
200
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,120
might be deemed...
201
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,400
..punchable.
202
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,560
And I just think
it'd be really nice
203
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:05,040
if we could eliminate
that possibility.
204
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,360
You think I've got a punchable face?
Oh! Don't do that!
205
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,240
I'm not doing that!
I am trying...
206
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,000
I am trying to fix your boo-boo
207
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,120
by getting into the mindset
of a disappointed racist.
208
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,120
That's really hard for me.
209
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:25,440
Hello?
Hello.
210
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,160
Uh, Big Bear or racism?
211
00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,840
I'm here for the signing.
212
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,800
Ah, great. Uh, sorry.
213
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,160
Um... It's cancelled.
214
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,360
As in, it's not happening anymore.
215
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,560
Oh, well, that's a disappointment.
216
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:48,520
OK.
217
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,280
Is that a...copy of the book?
Yeah. It is.
218
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,680
Um, look, I'll tell you what.
219
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,120
Uh, let me just sign that
for you quickly.
220
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,240
What's your name?
Austin Hogan.
221
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,360
Uh, how do you spell Austin?
222
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,560
A-U-S-T-I-N.
OK.
223
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:08,600
There we go.
224
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,160
Thank you.
Bob's your uncle.
225
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,160
My uncle's called Jim Hogan.
226
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,240
Great.
227
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,720
I was wondering
if you could also sign these.
228
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,360
Oh...
I mean, it's entirely our fault.
229
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,520
We should have done our research.
230
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,440
It's just this isn't...
really our ethos.
231
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,080
Of course. I totally understand.
232
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,120
I actually find it quite abhorrent,
to be honest.
233
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,240
Yeah. A lot of people do.
And I get it.
234
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,560
I know all about
finding things abhorrent.
235
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,320
Uh, do you take sugar
with your tea, or...
236
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,960
Do you have honey?
237
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,360
I thought I was the only one
who liked honey in their tea.
238
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,320
Oh, no. No, I'm obsessed with it.
239
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,840
Julian sometimes calls me honey
because I love it so much.
240
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,200
Cold-pressed.
241
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,200
You are an absolute dreamboat.
242
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,640
I know.
243
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,840
There's also another reason
that I came today.
244
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,800
Mm-hm?
I wanted to tell you something.
245
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,240
I'm pretty sure that I'm your son.
246
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,720
I'm your son.
247
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,960
OK. I'll... I'll be right back.
248
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,320
OK.
249
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,920
That's a little surprising.
250
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,320
3G, 4G, 5G -
251
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,680
like, you just don't know
what they're putting in the water.
252
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,360
OK, we need to
get out the back.
253
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,440
We need to get out the back, now.
What's... What's going on?
254
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,480
We haven't got a back exit.
Have you got a panic room?
255
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:45,920
Yeah, I've got a concrete bunker.
256
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,080
Great.
That's where I keep my guns.
257
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,320
OK.
Julian...
258
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,880
I don't want to go in
the racist bunker.
259
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,280
There's a maniac out there.
Oh, shit.
260
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,720
A guy just wandered in
off the street,
261
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,200
said he thinks he's my son.
262
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,720
And did you ask him
why he thinks he's your son?
263
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,000
No.
Why not?
264
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,280
Because he's a maniac.
And why is he a maniac?
265
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:02,760
Because he thinks he's my son.
266
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,720
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Yes.
267
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,720
Thank you.
268
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,000
Hello.
Ah, hello.
269
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,600
Hi.
270
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,800
My name's Ingrid.
I'm Julian's wife.
271
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,520
Ah, good to meet you.
I'm Austin Hogan.
272
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,200
I think you're
a supremely skilled artist.
273
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,600
Ah! Amazing. Never gets old!
274
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,040
And I think that
you have excellent taste, sir.
275
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,080
Thanks.
276
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,280
Now, I understand that you believe
that Julian might be your father.
277
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:36,840
That's correct.
278
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,040
Excuse me.
279
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,680
Do you have anything on
the Great Replacement theory?
280
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:43,680
Oh, uh, that's over here, actually.
Oh, cheers.
281
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,560
Should we do this somewhere else?
Yeah, sure.
282
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,880
Racists first.
283
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,720
Here we go.
One decaf latte with hazelnut milk.
284
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,280
One lemonade.
Thank you.
285
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:03,400
Um... Austin. Uh...
286
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:05,920
Um, what was that about?
287
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,840
I was just doing that
to make it flat.
288
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,720
I prefer it that way.
Right. Yeah.
289
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,760
But I think... Well, there's
no way I could be your father.
290
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:19,280
So, Austin, why is it that you feel
that Julian might be your dad?
291
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,160
First of all,
I've never been to Australia before.
292
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,800
And, uh, cards on the table,
293
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,880
I actually find Australian women
quite frightening.
294
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,120
Not attractive to them.
All Australian women?
295
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,120
What? Kylie?
296
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,800
Well, I don't think
his mother's Kylie, is she?
297
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,720
My mum's not Kylie.
She's called Mel Hogan.
298
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,080
Never heard of her.
299
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,360
She lived in London
for a period in her 20s.
300
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:36,920
And she said that she met you
301
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,840
while she was
working as waiting staff
302
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,920
for an outside catering company.
303
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,840
Oh, but, Julian, you did used to
do that when we first met.
304
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,520
Yeah. That's true.
And for a while beforehand.
305
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:50,200
I brought a photograph of her
from around that time, right here.
306
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:54,920
Well, Do you recognise her?
307
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,840
Austin, I...I...I...
do remember your mother.
308
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,640
Yeah.
Oh, my God!
309
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,120
But there's no way
I could be your father.
310
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,720
I mean, it was... It was only
a couple of times...ish.
311
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,880
Surely a baby
requires more sustained...
312
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,600
Sorry - are you arguing the toss
about how babies are made?
313
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,160
Austin, um...
314
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,880
The thing is, your mother,
I mean, as far as I remember,
315
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,520
was, um...
316
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,480
..no better than she ought to be.
317
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,480
Oh, Jillian,
please don't be the kind of guy
318
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,720
who says the kind of thing I think
you're thinking of saying.
319
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,240
She was not without
the attention of young men.
320
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,880
And, without judgement,
liked a good time.
321
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,560
Say you're slut-shaming
this poor young man's mother.
322
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,680
My mom seemed pretty certain.
323
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:34,680
But I consider myself
a man of science.
324
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:35,880
Right? Yeah. Good.
325
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,520
So I wondered if you might
be willing to take a DNA test.
326
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,280
Yeah. I'm not going to say any more
without a lawyer present. Come on.
327
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,480
So... Sorry, Jillian,
he's not accusing you of murder.
328
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,160
I must apologise for my husband.
329
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,600
Julian is excessively concerned
about his money.
330
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,560
OUR money! No, I'm not.
331
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,080
Oh, I should have made this clear.
332
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,840
I'm not interested in money
or anything like that.
333
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,400
You see, I'm on a quest
334
00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:00,000
to understand who I am
and where I come from.
335
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,840
OK. Yeah.
336
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,760
I suppose I could do a DNA test.
337
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:09,520
Great.
338
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,800
What, now?
Is that a problem?
339
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,760
No. Just, um...
340
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,720
I mean, I...
341
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,920
I thought it'd be in
a couple of weeks or something.
342
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,600
Um...
343
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,200
I will need you to
fill this up to the line.
344
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,200
With what?
345
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,280
Saliva.
346
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,440
Yeah. Good.
Austin...
347
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,240
How old are you?
348
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,360
28 years and two months.
349
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:37,520
28 years and two months,
plus nine...
350
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,720
Yeah, just before we met.
No.
351
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,840
No, that's not quite right.
352
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,440
Yes, it is. Sorry. The saliva has
suddenly gone from my mouth.
353
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:49,920
No, because we've been together
for 29 years, and a bit.
354
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,760
Ah, right.
355
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,400
Austin, I don't suppose you're 30?
356
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,880
I'm so sorry. Would you excuse me?
357
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,120
Sure.
358
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,880
I'll be right back.
Sure.
359
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,600
Where are you going?
Back to the hotel.
360
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,560
Don't particularly
want to see you, to be honest.
361
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,160
Why?
Because you've had an affair!
362
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,880
Shh! We might get papped.
363
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,200
We're not going to
get papped, Julian.
364
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:23,560
Nobody knows
what the hell we look like.
365
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,760
Anyway, I didn't have an affair!
You're massively overreacting.
366
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,880
Oh, am I? Because 28 years
and 11 months ago, Julian,
367
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,520
we were together.
368
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,720
IF I slept with this woman...
Well, you just said that you did.
369
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,000
OK. If or when I slept with...
Well, it's 'when', isn't it?
370
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,800
Alright! When I slept with this
woman, you and I...
371
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,680
We had been together for two months.
372
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:40,360
Talk about the pot
calling the kettle black.
373
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,680
You had a thing with
that diplomat from your book group.
374
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,760
With Wyndham?
Yeah.
375
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,800
Are you serious?
Yes.
376
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,040
Wyndham was 92!
377
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,320
He hadn't had an erection
since John Major had been in power.
378
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,280
Maybe so, but...
Ah, how do you know that?
379
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:58,320
Well, because I used to give him
a lift to and from book group.
380
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,960
Oh. And, yes, OK.
381
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:03,120
So, once, I took him
to a doctor's appointment,
382
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,960
and I didn't bring him home again
383
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,920
because that was where he died!
384
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:10,240
Look, can we just park this,
just for today?
385
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,000
We've got a lot going on.
386
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,520
Have WE got a lot going on, Julian,
387
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,520
or have YOU?
388
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,080
Listen, uh, I'm going to
have to make a move,
389
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:34,720
but it was, uh, really nice
to meet you, Austin.
390
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,520
And, um...
391
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,960
Yeah, drinks are on me.
392
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,640
Put your wallet away.
393
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,400
I didn't bring my wallet.
394
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,600
Right. OK. Yeah, well, I don't mind
splashing out.
395
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,240
What do you mean, splashing out?
396
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,880
Well, 'put your wallet away'
is a British term
397
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,400
meaning the other person will pay.
398
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,720
And 'splashing out'
is a British term meaning...
399
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,800
..it's really expensive.
400
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,720
Splashing out.
401
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,520
Thank you. That's very instructive.
402
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,520
Maybe we could
meet up again tomorrow?
403
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,800
Ah, well...
We'll be in Sydney tomorrow.
404
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,120
What about the day after that?
405
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,880
Melbourne?
What about the day after that?
406
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,440
Adelaide.
Day after that?
407
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,880
The point is,
we're travelling through
408
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,520
a series of Australian cities,
and then we're going home.
409
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:18,160
OK, well, I prepared
a printout for you.
410
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,960
It contains some
information about me,
411
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,920
including my contact details.
412
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,960
When you have some free time,
you could let me know.
413
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,240
Um...
414
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,600
Well, I'll be in the UK.
415
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,600
I've always wanted to
visit Great Britain.
416
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,640
Look...
417
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,520
Austin, um...
418
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,880
I don't want you
getting the wrong idea here.
419
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,800
How do you mean?
420
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,120
We have completely separate lives.
We... We don't know each other.
421
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,680
Not yet, we don't.
422
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,880
Yeah, but what I'm trying to say is,
423
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,480
even if I am
your biological father...
424
00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,200
..that it doesn't mean anything.
It doesn't mean your dad.
425
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,200
Your dad here in Australia,
that's your real dad.
426
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,520
I don't have a dad
here in Australia.
427
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:07,840
Right.
428
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,520
I probably should have
mentioned this earlier,
429
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,920
but I'm on the autism spectrum.
430
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,320
Makes sense.
431
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,720
So I apologise
for any faux pas I may have made.
432
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,480
You haven't made any faux pas.
433
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,280
Thank you for the lemonade.
434
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,000
Yeah. Um...
435
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,440
Um...
436
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,960
Something for the road? Um...
437
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,560
Granola bar? Apple?
438
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,640
I'm good. Thank you.
OK.
439
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,840
I'll get it.
440
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,800
Uh, hi. Uh, could I get the cheque?
441
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,440
Hi. Hey. Hello?
442
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,240
No, hi. Hi, Monica.
443
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,160
It's Ingrid Hartswood here.
444
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,160
Apropos of our, um,
our call this morning.
445
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,920
Um, yeah.
I don't know what time it is there.
446
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,000
Um, I actually don't know
what time it is here.
447
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,760
It's been a bit of a day.
448
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,000
Also, I'm terrible at maths,
449
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,760
but you haven't answered,
so that's probably good.
450
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,040
Sorry. I'm wittering.
451
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,120
I just... Yeah, I wanted to
leave a message
452
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,120
before I, um...
453
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:51,160
..doubted myself, to say that
454
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:55,040
I would love you to intro me
to some other authors.
455
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,560
Um, so much so, actually,
456
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,480
I think I'll ask Heidi
to have a think as well.
457
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,640
Um, so, yeah, I'm V-V-V-V-V
excited about that.
458
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,480
So, um... Yeah. Don't be a stranger.
459
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,800
Yeah? Um, sorry.
This is a message. You're not there.
460
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,280
Um, but, yes, we'll speak soon. Bye.
461
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:17,000
Austin, how'd it go?
462
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,800
I don't wanna talk about it.
463
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,080
What, is that because it didn't
go how you'd hoped it might?
464
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,520
I can't answer that
without talking about it.
465
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,600
I'm going to my quarters.
466
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,960
Don't worry, love.
467
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:29,760
Meeting your dad for the first time
468
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:31,800
is always a tough day at the office.
469
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,560
Besides, the...
470
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,720
..guy probably thinks
it's a cash grab.
471
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:38,720
What?
472
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,640
Well, you raised that boy
on your own,
473
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,760
so he owes you back-payments,
with interest.
474
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,760
I don't want his money.
Really?
475
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:51,520
I mean, he's
a famous kid's book author,
476
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,360
and we haven't got a pool.
477
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:56,400
Oh, hi. Hi, Julian. How are you?
Where's Ingrid?
478
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,800
Oh, she's, um...
479
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,720
She's, uh, she's just
popped out for a moment.
480
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,600
Oh, right. I'm not going to
beat around the bush.
481
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,000
It's very bad news.
482
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,520
OK. OK.
483
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:05,840
Look, I'm sorry. As far as we knew,
484
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,320
it was just another
independent bookshop.
485
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:08,800
What was?
Nothing.
486
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,320
Uh, sorry, you talk.
487
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,400
OK, well, there's, um...
Oh, Russell!
488
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,080
Yeah. There's somebody
that I want you to meet.
489
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,480
This is, uh, this is Russell.
490
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,120
He's from Superb PR. Russell.
491
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:19,000
Ah, Julian. Lovely to meet you.
492
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,240
I grew up on Big Bear, yeah?
493
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,520
Russell looks expensive.
494
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,160
Yes, he is, but he's also
a PR genius, aren't you, Russell?
495
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,520
He handled that incident
496
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,000
with Harry Styles and the marrow,
didn't you?
497
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,440
Well, what was that?
498
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:31,440
Exactly.
499
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,760
Now, Julian, first of all, we need
to do a little bit of firefighting.
500
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,960
Then we'll turn to rehabilitating
your reputation, longer-term.
501
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,000
Now we'll start by
putting out a statement.
502
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,840
Oh, yes.
I've been thinking about this.
503
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:46,280
Um, I think we stand firm and say,
storm in a teacup, you know?
504
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,600
Didn't know the guy was a racist,
deplore all that stuff,
505
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,400
but still think he made a fair point
about freedom of speech.
506
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,640
Yeah, we could do that.
507
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,680
Then take all your money
out of the bank, shred it,
508
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,040
and have a very expensive bonfire.
509
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,400
You think it's a bad idea?
510
00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,720
I think we want to
end the storm quickly,
511
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,040
not turn it into an argument.
512
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,880
Simple apology, rounded off with
513
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,280
something about how you're
committed to educating yourself.
514
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,080
Oh, fine.
OK, great.
515
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,200
Now, what about black friends
in the industry
516
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,200
who might be willing
to tweet something supportive?
517
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,200
Hmm. Yeah. Black friends. Um...
518
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,640
I just sort of
scanning through them all,
519
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,120
trying to pick the right one.
520
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,200
Do you want to
get back to me on that?
521
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,560
Yes, please. Yeah, yeah.
Great.
522
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,560
Now, in terms of rehabilitating
your image, longer-term,
523
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,120
I think we want to get out
some positive stories,
524
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:31,680
like your charity work.
525
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,680
Charity work. Yeah, yeah.
526
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,280
Who are your charities?
527
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,360
Well, I texted blankets to UNICEF,
528
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,720
during Young Adam on Film4,
just before Christmas.
529
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,480
Why don't I draft something
and you can check it?
530
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,080
Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah.
Great.
531
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,080
Oh, by the way, uh,
Jackson received an email...
532
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,840
- Jackson!
- Coming!
533
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,800
Yeah, uh, it's probably just
one for the lunatics file,
534
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:56,440
but it's from a woman
who says that her son,
535
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:57,920
who's... Mm!
536
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,320
Oh. So YOUR son
is coming to a signing.
537
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,960
Uh, yes, I've met him.
It's been quite the day.
538
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,840
Oh, you alright?
Well, not really. No.
539
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,600
I mean, this guy turns up,
saying he's my son.
540
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,040
Ingrid's livid because it was
when we were first dating.
541
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,680
And then, to cap it all,
he tells me he's autistic.
542
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,920
I'm sorry.
Did you say the guy's autistic?
543
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,880
Yes. Yeah.
544
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,360
That could that could be
a good story.
545
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:20,520
How do you mean?
546
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,520
I mean, famous
children's book author,
547
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,000
son he never knew he had
tracked down his dad.
548
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,440
The son's of autistic.
549
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,200
They spend some time together.
550
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,480
Dad goes on
a journey of understanding,
551
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,800
a positive transformation.
552
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,360
There could be a book in it.
Could be a documentary.
553
00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:37,760
Yeah, I like it.
I love it.
554
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,200
Hello.
Oh, hi.
555
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,360
Uh... May I speak
with Austin, please?
556
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:53,120
Is that Julian?
557
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,040
Is that Mel?
558
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,440
Yes.
Goodness me.
559
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,200
You haven't changed a bit,
uh, vocally.
560
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:03,760
How have you been?
561
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,800
Um... Good. Yeah.
562
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,680
Still into the Cardigans?
563
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:11,960
No. Not really.
564
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,920
No. Right. Uh...
565
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,920
Would it be possible to...
to speak with Austin?
566
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,680
Alright, just a sec.
567
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:20,960
Austin?
Yes, Mum?
568
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,560
It's, um...Julian.
569
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:23,960
Oh!
570
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,400
Hello?
Austin, look, I'm...
571
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:32,040
I'm so sorry about today.
572
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:35,080
The honest truth is, you sort of
caught me a bit by surprise.
573
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,560
That's... That's alright.
I can understand that.
574
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,920
I mean, I had time to
mentally prepare for our meeting,
575
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,720
but you weren't really
able to do that.
576
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,080
Right! Yes. I mean,
it was just such a shock.
577
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,120
But, I mean, of course
I want to see you again.
578
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:52,680
Um, we're not actually travelling
to Sydney tomorrow evening,
579
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,400
so perhaps, I don't know,
we could...
580
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,080
..grab some lunch tomorrow.
581
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,560
What do you mean -
eat lunch together?
582
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,960
Yes. Yeah.
583
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,400
I'd really like that.
Thank you, Mr Hartswood.
584
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,720
Oh, please. 'Mr Hartswood'...
Just call me, um...
585
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,600
Just a call from Mel.
That's Austin's mum.
586
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,160
She suggested lunch.
587
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,320
Mel! You don't look a day older.
588
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,320
This is my wonderful wife, Ingrid,
589
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,000
who also doesn't look a day...
590
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,240
Julian, drop it.
591
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,120
I apologise about my family.
It's kind of embarrassing.
592
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:37,600
I'm just trying to break the ice.
593
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,160
Why did you
have sex with my mother?
594
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,080
Have you had
your prostate checked, Julian?
595
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:46,000
I sort of feel like
I'm having it examined right now.
596
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,000
Captions by Red Bee Media
597
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,000
Copyright
Australian Broadcasting Corporation
44440
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