All language subtitles for (1935)TheRainmakers[ING]

[orchestral music]

[train hooting]

[bell tolling]

The weather bureau says
there's no sign of rain.

And they don't know
when there'll be any.

Do you realize how much money
I've got tied up out there?

(Parker)
'2500 acres of peas.'

And look at them withering up
under the hot sun.

I've only got
300 acres.

But it means more to me
than that does to you.

If I don't get a crop,
I lose everything I've got.

Oh, dad.

- Can I speak to you a moment?
- Why, certainly, son.

- Excuse me, gentlemen.
- Yes.

I got the estimate
from the construction company.

- $32,400.
- Hm.

[clearing throat]

$50,000.

I'm going into town.
I'll see you later.

Mm-hmm.

[people chattering]

Parker, somebody was telling me
the other day

about an idea you had
for bringing in water.

[clears throat]

(Parker)
'Oh, o-oh.
That was just an idea.'

I don't know, I..

'What was it?'

Well, I thought, maybe
we might build a flume

to bring water down
from Willow Lake.

That would cost a lot
of money, wouldn't it?

Well, yes, it would.

But my son brought me a report
from the construction company.

It would cost
in the neighborhood of say

over little more
than $50,000.

[whistling]

You know, if we could each
put in, say, 5000 apiece.

Well, where would
I get $5000?

Or me? I've already borrowed
the limit from the bank.

Me too. Can't expect the banker
to carry us around anymore.

Anybody but Henry Spencer
would've clamped down long ago.

Ah, yes, of course. I suppose
we must trust to providence.

[all sigh]

Now, supposing, I put up
the money to build that flume?

- Would you do that?
- Would you really?

Well, I might arrange it,
we could make a deal

whereby, you pay me
for the water you use.

We could pay you
right after harvest.

- Certainly, we would.
- Of course, of course.

But if I invested
that much money

I would have to have
some sort of security.

Say a note or a lien on your
property or something like that.

Just a little matter
of business, you understand?

You think you can get the water
here in time to save our crops?

Oh, yes, I'm quite sure
I could.

If enough of the farmers
would agree to use the water

I could start work
on the project right away.

[excited murmuring]

- 'Suits me.'
- 'I agree.'

- 'How 'bout you boys?'
- 'Yes, sir.'

'You can have a lien
on my property.'

Orville Parker, if you don't
leave me alone, I'm going...

What's the matter, gorgeous?

Nothing wrong with that check,
is there?

There's certainly nothing wrong
with your nerve.

Come out from behind that
temper, you're not kidding.

Listen, I'm supposed
to be working.

If you haven't any business,
I wish you'd leave me alone.

But I have business here.
I came to arrange a loan.

Oh!

I wanna borrow your company
for this evening.

Father makes all loans here.
I'll call him.

Never mind, I'll drop
by your house at 8:30.

That'll be fine.
I'm going out at 8.

That's no way to run a bank.
Chasing our depositors out.

You chased him out, daddy,
but you didn't know it.

Anyway, he's just
a fresh egotistical pest.

Well, try to overlook it.

After all, we can't offend
our depositors.

We've too much money loaned out
to lose even one account.

Particularly, one like Parkers'.

Have you the total
on those notes?

Yes. Here it is, daddy.

If only we could
collect some of 'em.

We can't expect to collect when
the farmers haven't any money.

But if they get a rain to save
their crops, they'll be alright.

And if they don't?

If they don't, well..

I hate to think
what it would mean.

Bankruptcy, probably..

For all of us.

Dad.

You mean
it's as bad as that?

- I'm afraid so, unless..
- Unless what?

I hadn't meant to tell you,
but I've been in communication

with a man who claims
he can make it rain.

You mean a rainmaker?

Oh. Why not?
It's our only hope.

Anyway, I've sent for him.

Here. Look at this.

His wire said he'd be here
as soon as he finished a job

somewhere in the Middle West.

In Guber County.

[wind howling]

Get out and stay out.

So, this is the rain
you were gonna bring.

[angry mumbling]

Whoa-o!

[knocking on door]

Hey!

Anybody home?

What's the..

Don't shoot there, partner.
Don't shoot. I'm harmless.

I just use this
to keep the dust out.

Then you oughta hang it
across your front door.

What you got down there?

A cyclone cellar.
You better come on down.

Why should I go down there
for a cyclone?

I got a dandy one
going on up here.

You better come on down.

Wait, I'll fix a ladder.

Hey... Pff-pff-pff.

There's an awful draft up here.

Yeah, I'll shut the door.

Whoa-o!

Too bad about your house.

Oh, that's all right.

The roof leaked anyway.

Nice, cozy little place
you got down here.

Yeah. It'll do until
it blows over.

Blows over?
Is this liable to go too?

Oh.

You're safe enough
down here.

Anyway, this dust storm's
about finished.

It's gonna rain
in a few minutes.

- Yeah, what gave you that idea?
- Didn't you hear?

Roscoe, the Rainmaker
and his machine

are over at the
County Fairgrounds right now.

Well, if he is,
I'm leading a double life.

I am Roscoe,
and this is the machine.

You are? Well, why didn't you
make it rain?

They didn't
give me a chance.

I had my machine set up
and ready to go

when along comes
this dust storm.

They blamed it on me.
Ran me out of town.

Gee, I'm sorry.

- What you gonna do now?
- I don't know. I'm disgusted.

Here I am, a great genius,
and nobody knows it but me.

Right now, my machine and I are
due in California for a big job.

Well, what's the use?

I'll get even with 'em.
You know what I'm gonna do?

- What?
- I'll commit suicide.

That's a good way
of getting even with 'em.

- Have you got any rope?
- Mm-hm.

That's a pretty greasy old
piece of rope, isn't it?

Nah. That'll dirty me
all up.

Besides, you don't want me
hanging around here anyway.

- Have you got any poison?
- Mm-hm.

There's some poison.

- What kind is it?
- Rat poison.

Rat poison?
No good.

I can't die like a man,
I'm not gonna die like a rat.

We'll have to think
of something else.

- Have you got a gun?
- Mm-hm.

I was afraid of that.

You got that pointed
the wrong way.

How do you know
which way I wanna die?

I'll try it.

- That's my last bullet.
- Yeah, that's just as well.

Too much noise.

Why, a thing like that's
liable to scare you to death.

No. We gotta find
another way.

What..

Why didn't you tell me
that thing was there?

I might have killed myself.

Oh.

I don't see why you want
to commit suicide anyway.

You got a job
to do out in California.

Why don't you go on
out there and do it?

You know, you may be
right at that, son.

There may be a lot of people
in California depending on you.

I'll do it.

What's gonna
happen to you?

Oh, there's nothing much
for me to do around here.

I guess I'll go out
and look for my house.

Why don't you come with me? I
could use a bright boy like you.

You could be my assistant. You
know anything about machinery?

I know all about ploughs
and tractors and things.

Good. Then I'll be
your assistant.

You mean to say you'll take me
to California with you?

Why not, I got nothing to lose.
Pack up your grip.

I'll pack my things
right away.

How's the weather up there?

Well, there's plenty of it.

[thud]

Ol' rocking chairs' got me.

Are you hurt?

Whoa!

Come on.
Come on, Mr. Roscoe.

Right there, sir.

Are you hurt?
Are you hurt?

Wait, I'll get you
some water.

Pfft. Pfft.

I'm sorry.

Good afternoon,
Mr. Parker.

Good and hot.
Let's go in the office.

I have some business
to talk over with you.

- Sit down, Mr. Parker.
- My business won't take long.

I want you
to certify this check.

"Union Construction Company."

$32,000.

Yes. I'm going
to start building a flume

to bring water down
from Willow Lake.

Of course, we all like
to see some way

of getting water but...
I think...

I'll do the thinking, Spencer.
You certify that check.

To be frank with you, I haven't
enough money to cover it.

You will have to give me little
time to arrange some credit.

You mean you can't
honor my check?

I'm afraid not.
O-on such short notice.

You see, it's been a dry year
and helping out the farmers.

Well, the bank
has over-extended itself.

I'm not interested
in how you mismanage your bank.

- I want that money.
- But Mr. Parker...

I'm due at a meeting of farmers
at the Chamber of Commerce.

If they find out that
you're holding up this project

well, I wouldn't wanna be
in your shoes.

I believe the farmers know my
attitude toward their problems

and I think I've tried to be
of some practical help.

Then maybe you can think of
some way to get water to them.

I've thought of that too.

I've sent for a man whom I
believe can save the situation.

- Indeed.
- Yes. A rainmaker.

A rainmaker?
Spencer, you must be crazy.

When the people hear about this,
they'll laugh you out of town.

But-but Mr. Parker...

I'll give you just 48 hours
to cover that check.

If you can't do it by then,
maybe the bank examiners

would like to know why.

Come on, son.

Go to the Chamber of Commerce
and tell them I'll be there.

Okay.

- Good afternoon, gentlemen.
- Good afternoon, Mr. Parker.

Looks like Spencer is trying
to hold up that project of mine.

[car honking]

Yeah. This is it. You better
go in first. I'm afraid.

Afraid to go into a bank?
What for?

Once when I'm busted
right in my face!

Quick, into the storm cellar.

[coughing]

Here, here, why don't you
look what you're doing?

I'm sorry.
Did I get any on you?

[coughing and mumbling]

It's just a little dust.
It'll brush right off.

Give me a wrist broom, son.

- Here.
- Mm.

[coughing]

You clean that up.

[coughing continues]

Psst.

Give me that thing.

Allow me.

[clearing throat]

Looks good in the cap,
don't he?

Here. I'll handle this.

[shutter rolling]

- Well, I like that.
- I thought you would.

Where can I find
Henry Spencer?

Oh, you're Mr. Roscoe,
the rainmaker.

Yeah, but don't tell me
that you're Henry.

No, I'm his daughter,
and am I happy to see you.

But you can be happier
than that, can't you?

Well, that's better.
But I like more of the "uh-h."

Come on.

- Daddy, he's here.
- Hi, daddy.

Mr. Roscoe. Well, I'm certainly
happy to see you.

Ha-ha.

[clears throat]

- Happy? You're overjoyed.
- Won't you sit down?

Yeah. Not a bad idea.
Not a bad idea.

Now then,
what's it all about?

You're little short
on one end. Can I help?

No, thanks.
I can do this myself.

Ah-h!

- Hello.
- Hello.

I'm Billy.
I work for Mr. Roscoe.

I'm Margie.
Mr. Spencer's daughter.

- Pleased to meet you.
- Can you make it rain too?

Oh, no. I'm only the assistant.

The best I could give you
would be a little mist.

- Do you mind if I get down now?
- No. Go right ahead.

Oh, uh.
Pardon me.

Do you work here?

Oh, yes. My father
owns this bank.

Hm.

It's a nice bank.

Mr. Roscoe. Unless we get water,
the situation is hopeless.

Why, they've even accused me
of misappropriation.

They did? Oh, that's bad.
I got accused of that once.

But I said, gentlemen,
you've got to prove it.

And darned if they didn't.

What's that?

'Oh, they're the controls.'

'With those, we can give you
almost any kind of a storm.'

But wait.

Here is the most important part
of the machine.

- What made it do that?
- This is what did it.

This is called
a magno-magnetizer.

Oh, you mean
that's a magnet?

Well, sort of.

And acts like an ordinary magnet
on a thing like that

but this also takes electricity
from the human body

and with the machine,
sends it up into the sky.

Oh, it causes an electrical
storm, and that makes it rain.

Mm-hm.

- Why, that's miraculous.
- Mm-mm.

It's aluminum.

Of course, I understand
the whole principle

of your apparatus
is mass-magnetism.

That you've got to have crowds
and crowds of people around it.

That's the idea. The bigger the
crowd, the bigger the shower.

There are lot of people over at
the Chamber of Commerce meeting.

You think it will run
over there?

No, I'm afraid,
we'll have to carry it.

Margie, we'll be back
a little later.

We're going over
to the Chamber Of Commerce.

When I get through floods
in this town

they'll think
I'mOld Man River.

- Well, goodbye.
- Bye.

Ha.

- Well, bye.
- Bye.

[clearing throat]

So, it resolves itself
to this.

He has sent for a rainmaker.

Ha-ha.

Listen, did any of you ever see
a person who could make it rain?

[laughing]

Did any of you
ever hear of a person

who could make it rain?

Well, there you are.

Now, if you are willing
to cooperate

I will start building
the flume at once.

I offer you something
tangible and practical.

What does Spencer offer you?
A rainmaker.

Think of it gentlemen,
a rainmaker.

That's me.
Coming up like a storm.

What's the meaning of this?
Who are the..

Oh, so these are your
rainmakers, are they?

I've heard lot about you.

But you can't prove anything.
Set her up.

This is a business meeting.
You get out of here.

No, just a minute,
Mr. Parker.

These are my friends.

I asked them to come down here
to demonstrate their machine.

Why, this man is a genius.

Well, we've never had
a genius in our village.

That's why
it's a village.

I've reached the limit
of patience with you, Spencer.

You must be mad.

You can't talk
that way to Mr. Spencer.

You can't talk
that way to me.

Shut up! It's only the law that
makes me keep my hands off you.

It's the law that makes you keep
your hands off a lot of things.

Let's tell 'em, Roscoe.

Are we going to stand
for these insults?

No! Throw them out.

'That's what I said.
Let's get on with the meeting.'

- Gentlemen.
- Boo! Boo! Boo!

Maybe, I was mistaken.

This ridiculous performance
has gone far enough.

You get these hoodlums and their
contraption out of here.

- I resent that.
- In fact, we both resent it.

This isn't a contraption.

This a scientific marvel
of the age.

It's a hydro-electric
diversifier.

Technically known as a condenser
of atmospheric moisture.

Are there any questions?

Yes. Did you ever make it rain
with that machine?

Are there any other questions?

Ah, we can see
right through you.

When you get the machine
started, drown him first.

- Are we all ready to go?
- As soon as I set the magnet.

Ah, gentlemen. This is the nerve
center of the machine.

The magno-magnetizer.

'Without this, the machine
would never start.'

That's a lot of bunk.
Suppose it does start, so what?

The beans will be sprouting,
the flowers will be blooming

and the trees will be leaving.

- Yeah, and if it don't start?
- We'll be leaving.

Are we all set? Contact.

- Contact.
- Let her go.

[motor spluttering]

[explosions]

[chaotic rambling]

Shut this thing off, will you?
Shut it off!

[clearing throat]

[coughing and sneezing]

I don't know
what you're worried about.

Anybody knows that
a machine can't produce rain.

Listen, son. There's always
a possibility they may succeed.

I can't afford to take
a chance on that possibility.

The whole thing is a lot
of hooey. Mass magnetism.

Drawing energy from the body.
The man's a lunatic.

Why should he have
a whole crowd to make it work?

I don't know about that.
He's not going to have a crowd.

Not until I get
those contracts signed.

Well, Mr. Parker.
I'm delighted to see you.

I'm sorry
if I've kept you waiting.

Adams, I'm giving a little
barbecue at my ranch tomorrow.

The engineers will submit plans
for the new flume.

We want everyone there
who's interested in the project.

Of course.

You know, I've prepared
an announcement.

I want you to broadcast
it on air

at exactly 8 o'clock
this evening.

8 o'clock has been
taken by Mr. Spencer.

We're announcing a demonstration
of that rain-making-machine

at the park tomorrow.

You're not to broadcast
that announcement.

But Mr. Spencer has already...

Mr. Spencer's announcement
doesn't go on the air!

This does. Is that clear?

Why, ah... yes, sir.
If you say so.

Very well. Hmm.

When Spencer finds out, suppose
he gets a crowd of his own?

Supposing his machine
doesn't work?

Reminds me.
I have an important engagement.

- See you later.
- Ah. Be careful, son.

[soft instrumental music]

You know, ah, I've been
everywhere in Guber County.

And I never saw a girl
as nice as you.

Oh, maybe
you didn't look very hard.

Oh, it's your shot.

Oh, yeah.

You know, I'm afraid I'm
a little off my game tonight.

Does it make you nervous
to have me stand close to you?

When I look at you

I feel I wanna go through
all the nine wickets at once.

Ah, pardon me.

- It's your shot.
- Oh!

[music continues]

I'm gettin'
a little tired.

Would you like to sit there
for the rest of the game?

'Well, not under that tree.'

- No.
- Mmm-mmm.

- Why not?
- Well, that's a magic tree.

I know it sounds sort of silly,
but if you're under that tree

and you tell even
a teeny-weeny little lie

an orange falls off.

- Is that so?
- Mmm-hmm.

How did you find out?

Well, I..

Come on, finish the game.

Now there's a fast game
for you.

Do you know
how to play Pachisi?

Do I know how to play..

Listen, brother,
you are probably looking

at the pachisiest pachisier
in the entire universe.

[grunts]

Maybe, I took in
too much territory.

- I kissed you.
- When?

- Just now.
- Really? I didn't feel it.

There. See.

Oh, I didn't know
you meant that way.

Ah. How did you think
I meant?

Like this.

Y-you get two more now.

- I do?
- I-I mean shots.

Oh. Well, why don't
you say what you mean?

This is what they call
the polo swipe.

- Ow! Ow!
- Oh, does it hurt much?

[sarcastically]
Oh, does it hurt much?

[string music]

In a little while,
our broadcast will be on air.

Marvelous invention,
the radio.

In a few minutes

we'll be talking
to everybody in the county.

I don't like that.

There's some people
I'm not speakin' to.

[shuffling]

A one and a two.
Not so good.

Four and a five.
One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four, five.

I sent you home.

Yeah, I'm not
gettin' anywhere fast.

[shuffling]

Well, that's better.
A two and a one.

Five and a six. One, two,
three, four, five, six.

One, two, three, four, five.
I sent you home again.

Yes sir, and I'm kinda gettin'
sick of the old place too.

[shuffling]

Wait a minute.
Who started the machine?

Who started the machine?

Do you think
you can walk?

Ah. I don't know.
Ah.

I might, if you put
your arm around me.

Well, here.

Ah.

- Eh, both arms.
- But you only hurt one ankle.

Ow! Ow!

Does it feel better now?

Mmm-hmm. Feels fine.

Ah!

[car honking]

Oh, that's Orville.
He would.

I don't like that guy.

I had a run in with him this
mornin'. I told him plenty.

You did?

I called him everything
I could think of.

- And what did he say?
- He didn't hear me.

[footsteps]

I didn't know
you had company.

We were playin' croquet
and Billy hurt his ankle.

- And we were just resting.
- What a shame.

Yeah. You see, I was out there
swinging the mallet around

and I made a polo swipe,
and it's somethin' like this.

Hit myself right on the ankle,
but that didn't stop me.

Came right back,
hit myself on the other ankle.

Ha. Funny thing you know,
when I get swingin' this thing

I haven't any idea
where it's gonna land.

- Would you like to join us?
- No, thank you.

I just dropped in
to see your father.

Oh, he's probably inside
playing Pachisi with Mr. Roscoe.

I want to wish them both luck
on their experiment at the park.

Six. I've sent you
home again.

Yes sir. I haven't spent so much
time at the ol' folks in years.

[shuffling]

What're you
worryin' about, Hank?

The broadcast will
come along any minute.

I hope everything
comes out alright.

Certainly it will,
I'll give 'em more water

than they've had
since the Johnstown flood.

Your troubles
are practically over.

Besides, you've got
your health, haven't you?

[knocking on the door]

Oh, oh!
Gangrene just set in.

- Why you..
- Why you, right back at you.

Did you get the way
I did that, Hank?

Now, boys. Boys.

Give me enough time,
I'll send him home.

Okay, Mr. Spencer.

I was just drivin' by
and thought I'll drop in

to say hello to Marge.

She's in the garden.

Better stick around trouble,
hear the big broadcast.

Not interested!

[male radio announcer]
'KOJC Lima Park.'

'When you hear
the sound of the gong'

'it will be 8 p.m.
Standard Pacific Time.'

[gong beeping]

'Please, stand by
for a special announcement.'

Here we go. This is us.

'Ladies and gentlemen,
we bring you a message'

'of vital importance
to every community member.'

'Vital in that,
it concerns the problems'

'with which
we are now confronted.'

'Water! The sponsors
of this announcement'

'feel sure that they have
a solution to this problem.'

'And ask the cooperation'

'of every resident
of Lima junction.'

'They ask that you be on hand
tomorrow at 10 o'clock..'

What happened?
What happened?

[shaking radio]

At the ranch
of our public-spirited

and civic-minded townsman
Mr. Simon Parker

where plans will be discussed
for the new flume

which Mr. Parker contemplates
having built to bring water..

Current would have to go off
right in the middle

of our broadcast.

Well, the lights are on
all over the neighborhood!

Maybe, a fuse blew out.

Yeah? Well, I'll fix that
in a jiffy. Lead me to it.

I don't know how that fuse
could've come lose.

Never mind the fuse. Let's get
the rest of the broadcast.

'Hopes that all of you
will be present'

'to assist
in this worthy undertaking.'

'Don't forget the time
is 10 o'clock tomorrow morning.'

'Beer and sandwiches will be
served to all who attend.'

Who said anything
about beer and sandwiches?

I was so excited,
I might have told them

there'd be beer
and sandwiches.

'The next number
will be an orchestra selection'

'"Isn't Love
The Grandest Thing."'

With beer and sandwiches.

[orchestral music]

[Billy and Marge singing
"Isn't Love
The Grandest Thing"]

* This is the first
of a cute little song *

* Just to create atmosphere

* Who cares for verses

* They're always too long *

* So here comes
the chorus, my dear *

* I've got two arms
that want to hold you *

* I've got a heart
that wants to sing *

* And just in case
I haven't told you *

* Isn't love
the grandest thing *

* When we're the mister
and the missus *

* You'll be the queen
and I the king *

* And we will live
on hugs and kisses *

* Isn't love
the grandest thing *

* I've had lots of girlfriends *

* A dozen or more

* But I've never
been in love before *

* If I could trade
a million dollars *

* For all the happiness
you bring *

* I'd say take back
your million dollars *

* Isn't love
the grandest thing *

* I never knew
how much I missed you *

* Or what a thrill
a kiss could bring *

* This is the first time
I've been kissed, dear *

* Isn't love
the grandest thing *

* I'll hurry home
you'll never wait nights *

* I've settled down
I've had my fling *

* I promise not to
stay out late night *

* Isn't love
the grandest thing *

* We won't care about money *

* 'Cause if we have none *

* Two can always live
as cheap as one *

* With you to tell
my little jokes to *

* We'll have
the world upon a string *

* We'll never fight
like other folks do. Will we? *

* Never

* Isn't love
the grandest thing *

[pigeons cooing]

Well, doesn't look
like anybody's coming.

Nope. Looks like the broadcast
wasn't much of a success.

The only one's that listened in,
I guess, were the pigeons.

They'll probably eat and run.

I suppose, the people
just aren't interested.

We did everything we could
to bring them out.

If free beer and sandwiches
don't get 'em, I give up.

We can't give up.

There must be some way

to get a crowd
to make that machine work.

You talk about a crowd.

No, you talk about one,
it's your turn.

Well, I once saw a real crowd
at a county fair.

They staged
a head-on collision

between two automobiles
going 60 miles an hour.

One came from that side,
the other came from that side

and they met.

And when they met, oh, boy!
What a crash.

Two automobiles?
I've got it.

Henry, you take care
of the machine.

Billy, you come with me.
We're gonna show 'em a crash.

I'd like to know
what you're gonna do?

We'll give 'em a crash that'll
be heard around the world.

- With two automobiles?
- Automobiles, nothing.

We're going in
for something big.

Steam engines.
Two locomotives.

Where are you gonna
get two locomotives?

Right here
in my vest pocket.

Here's an idea that
I haven't used in years.

Here we are.

Boy, I am now the president
of the Trans-Pacific Railroad.

President?
Can I be your secretary?

No. You wouldn't fit on my lap.
However, you can try out.

Take a paper and pencil
and take down everything I say.

Whom did you wish to see?

- Away, girlie, away.
- But you can't go in there.

[tapping]
What right have you to enter
my private office, unannounced?

- My card.
- I don't care who you are.

Why, why uh..

Why, Mr. Flinton.

- Mr. President, I had no idea...
- Tut tut, my good man, tut tut.

Oh, Mr. Flint,
I-I'm so sorry.

Excuse me.
I-I guess I'll retire.

Take that down.
Stenographer retires.

How she can do it on her salary,
I don't know. But she retires.

Mr. Flint, it's a pleasure
to meet our President.

- You've done us a great honor.
- Never mind that small talk.

And give me back that card.
I may need it again.

Hogan, you're gonna make
some changes around here.

Yeah, and the first thing
he's gotta change is that hat.

Take that down.

Yeah, Hogan.
The hat's gotta go.

Of course, Mr. Flint.
Of course.

If you'd pardon
my saying so, Mr. Flint.

Your picture hardly
does you justice.

Picture?

Oh-oh.
Ha ha.

You're a much younger man
than I expected.

Yeah. Well, you see

that was taken
when I was much older.

[clears throat]

Take that down.

Now, then.
Let's get down to brass tacks.

Hogan, I've been getting
some bad reports on you lately.

I'm sorry.

But, after all, I'm not
entirely to blame, Mr. Flint.

You know, this system
is terribly run down.

System run down?

This guy needs a tonic.

What he needs
is a vacation.

If I might say so, Mr. Flint,
I don't need a vacation

as much as I need new equipment.

[Billy whistles]

Boy. He is
in bad shape.

Yeah, make a note of that.

Hogan needs new equipment.

Now that leaves me
with the point of my visit.

Hogan, new equipment.
That's what we need.

Out with the old,
in with the new.

By the way

how many old locomotives
have we got on hand?

We have... four.

That's too many.
We only need two.

- Two?
- Yes, two.

Have them at Lima Park,
tomorrow morning at 10 a.m.

Might I ask, what you're
going to do with them?

We're gonna smash them up.

Sma-smash them up?

Hogan, what this road needs
is more publicity.

Smashing two locomotives will be
the biggest publicity stunt

the world has ever known.

We can replace them
with the new ones.

That's a splendid idea.

I wish I'd thought of that.

If you had,
I'd have fired ya.

I-I'll call up Kelly,
the superintendent.

He'll will have two
locomotives at the Park

at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning.

I'll take care of everything.

Are you sure you can
take care of that?

Why shouldn't he?
That's right up Hogan's alley.

Come on, son.

How about driving to the Park?
Everybody's over there.

Ah, there's nothing over there
that would interest me.

Besides, I'm waiting
for my father.

Hah. I get it.
Waiting for Marge.

You better come over
and see the excitement.

Hi ya, sweets.
Going my way?

I hope not.
I'm going to the Park.

Wait a minute. You don't wanna
go to the Park with those chaps.

How about coming
to my house and playing tennis?

You know I don't
play tennis.

Maybe you'd prefer
a snappy game of croquet.

I might, if the offer came
from the right party.

Where do you get off
being snooty to me?

Orville, please.

Stop the car.
Hurry up.

[tires screeching]

What's the matter?
Did we hit something?

No, we're going to.
There's gonna be a fight.

- Where?
- Over there.

That's all
I want to know.

I want to talk to you.

Can't you
leave me alone?

Why don't you keep
your hands off her?

Can't you see
you're annoying her?

Well, you're annoying me.
So what?

Oh, so what, huh?
I'll show you so what.

Take your coat off.

[thud]

Oh!

[thud]

Did you do that
to my assistant?

Yeah, what about it?

[knock]

[screaming]
Ouch! Ooh, ooh.

My lad, to be a fighter,
you've got to know footwork.

[thud]

[machine spins]

[bell rings]

476 pounds. Hmm.

He's a little bit bigger man
than I thought he was.

Says, "Beware of a tall man."

What's going on here?

We're going on.

You-you ruffians.

'I'll have the sheriff
on you within an hour.'

You haven't heard
the last of this.

Now, listen Kelly.

We can't get a good crack-up
out of these old engines.

We can't get up speed enough.

About all we'll get will be
a little bump, like this.

Hogan wants a good crack-up
and orders are orders.

You boys get up steam.
I'll ensure we get a good crash.

All right, Kelly.
We'll do the best we can.

Okay, boys.

[band performing marching music]

Jeez, Mr. Rascoe's idea
certainly worked.

It looks like everybody
in town is here.

Yes. Everybody
but Roscoe and Billy.

It's after 10 o'clock.

The locomotives
aren't here either.

Oh, I hope
nothing has happened.

Look! Here comes
the engines now!

[crowd cheering]

[cheering continues]

Margie.

Billy, I thought
you weren't coming.

I'm glad you're here.

I'm afraid we won't be able
to hold this crowd much longer.

They're getting hot
under the collar.

Yeah, well, a good shower
will cool them off.

Come on. Get that thing started
and let's get out of here.

[men arguing]

- Well, this is our big moment.
- Ha ha.

- Are we all set?
- Okay.

- Contact.
- Contact.

[machine chugs]

(male #1)
Well, where's the rain?
You said it'll rain around here.

- Try it once more.
- 'How about those locomotives?'

(male #2)
Yeah, what about the crash?

- Contact.
- Contact.

[machine chugs]

- Fake.
- Fake? What do you mean fake?

I'll give you
until I can count ten

to take that back.

And what if I don't?

Then I'll count ten more.

[crowd mumbling]

- Give it another yank.
- Okay.

[train horn]

(male #3)
There's the engine now!

[crowd cheering]

[cheering continues]

If we don't get this
thing going pretty soon

we'll be the only ones left.

If you don't get
that thing going pretty soon.

I'll be the only one left.

What do you think
I found in my engine.

- What?
- Dynamite! Cases of it.

- Where?
- Hidden in the coal.

So this is Kelly's idea
of getting a good crack-up, huh?

- What are we gonna do about it?
- I'm getting lost.

Okay, boys. Better get rollin'.
It's after 10 o'clock.

What do you think we are, Kelly?
We ain't riding with dynamite.

Oh, it's the only way
we can get a decent crash.

Committing suicide ain't part
of my job. Get somebody else.

I haven't got another man
on the extra board.

Now listen, you're just gonna
start them and jump, aren't ya?

Not us.
We ain't even gonna start.

Oh, wait.
Don't let me down, will ya?

[crowd jeering]

- What's the matter?
- Just as I thought. Hay fever.

I'll have it fixed
in a minute.

Look. No wonder it won't go.
The magnet isn't in it.

- Give me, give me.
- I haven't got it.

- You haven't got it?
- No.

Say, it was in there
the other night

when we had the machine
at your house.

That's right.

If we don't find that magnet,
we're lost.

Well, don't worry.
The sheriff will find it.

Must have dropped
at your house.

Billy, run over and get it.
Run over and get it.

If it's in the house,
I'll find it.

Well, step on it.

Billy, we'll go have
them start the engines.

Hey, look after
this machine, will ya?

[crowd mumbling]

Well, brother.
How about the old crash.

There isn't going
to be any crash.

- What do you mean?
- The show's off.

My engineers have quit.

[crowd jeering]

Say, we better
think of something

to hold that crowd until Margie
gets back with the magnet.

I've already thought
of something.

Don't go away, folks. The big
show is just about to begin.

[crowd jeering]

- What are we gonna do?
- What are we gonna do?

We're gonna be the engineers.
We're gonna run those engines.

I don't know anything
about running an engine.

Why, it's a cinch.

All we got to do is start them
then jump and... bang.

- Uh-uh. Not me.
- What are you scared of?

I don't like that bang.

There's nothing to worry about.
I wouldn't get you into trouble.

It's a question of mind
over matter.

- Mind over matter?
- Yeah.

I don't mind. You don't matter.
Get in there.

No.

When I blow the whistle
the first time, start it.

When I blow the whistle
the second time, jump.

Couldn't you blow
the second one first?

Oh, get in there.

[crowd cheering]

[fire roars]

[train hoots]

Hey!

All right, I hear ya.

You're going in reverse.
I'm over here.

[train rattling]

[engine chugging]

[crowd cheering]

Boss.
Ah-h.

It broke off.
I don't know how to fix it.

I was pulling it..

Oops!

Why don't you keep your hands
off things you don't understand.

I can't stop it.

Hey! Come back here.

You can't crack me up
going that way.

[train hoots]

Me, jump?

Alright.

You better jump before
it gets going too fast.

Don't jump now.
You'll run out of ground.

Uh-h-h.

[coat rips]

[steam chuffs out]

[chuffing continues]

[train bell ringing]

What's the matter?

Two run away locomotives
got loose on main line.

We've gotta side-track them
before they meet the limited.

They're loaded with dynamite.

- Dynamite?
- Yeah.

Hello. Hello.

Hello.

[engine chugs on]

What's this coming
down the track?

You bet on me.
You better check on it.

[train hoots]

Oh. Oh.

[train hoots]

Go back! Go back!

[engine chuffs]

Whoa.

Ah-h. Oh, God.

There's dynamite down here.
Come back.

Oh, faster, huh?

[engine chuffs]

Whoa!

[explosion]

Wait a minute.

Oh, come on over here.

Alright.

Come on down.

[train rattling]

Wait a minute.

Aw.

Come on, now. Walk.

Good. Now follow me.

What are you doing over there?

I can't walk
across that board.

What's the matter?

It makes me dizzy.

Well, come over backwards.

Back up! Back up!

I am backin' up.

Well, back up forward.

Ugh. Ah-h.

Listen. If you
don't come over here.

I'm goin' over there
and get you.

[train rattling]

Oh-h!

Ah-h!

[board creaks]

Now, how am I gonna get back?

Wait, I'll help you.

Give me.

Whoa!

For a minute there, I thought
there was gonna be two of me.

Give me your hand.

Ugh. Ah-h.

Hey, hey, now.

Ugh-h-h.

Whoa!

Ah-h-h.

What? It just went by.

Give me the switch
when I call it.

Don't forget to tell him
about the dynamite.

Hello, George. Have those two
locomotives gone by there yet?

Well, when they do,
switch them off the mainline.

Oh, I thought I told you
to tell him about the dynamite.

Give me the switch again.

[engine chugging]

I wonder what became
of that other locomotive.

Oh, it probably
ran into something.

I'm worried about it.

Well, you can stop
worrying right now.

- Why?
- I just found it.

Whoa!

[engine rattling]

Come here. Wait.

Look.

What happened?
Did we go over or under it?

I wouldn't know.

What's that? Wait a minute.

Nope, haven't seen 'em yet.

Here comes one now.

Excellent Caviar, Major.

Hey, look.

Hello. Yes?

I just switched them
on the line of park cut off.

How we gonna stop this thing?

The thing we gotta do
is to get rid of the steam.

- Did you get the magnet?
- I couldn't find it.

I looked every place
for it.

[crowd mumbling]

Daddy, where's Billy?
What's happened?

Oh, haven't you heard?

Your boyfriend
and his partner left town

on two borrowed
locomotives.

So he walked down
on you, huh?

I told you that guy
was not our level.

He said he wanted a crowd
to make his machine work.

Well, there's the crowd.
Where's the rain?

Hey, give me that.

Orville, don't let
her get away with that.

[crowd mumbling]

[mumbling continues]

[crowd cheering]

[cheering continues]

I got the magnet.
Earl had it all the time.

He did. Say just as soon
as we get through

I'm gonna knock that guy
right in his ear.

No, leave him to me.
I got a better idea.

- We got it, daddy, we got it.
- I'm gonna start the machine.

No, you don't. I'll do it.

You're liable
to get it into reverse.

Whoa! Tackle.

[crowd cheering]

[explosion]

[machine rattles]

[crowd cheering]

- Why, it's raining.
- Ha. A mere drizzle.

Next week I'll give
you a cloud burst.

[crowd cheering]

[instrumental
"Jingle Bells"]

- Hey, what happened?
- The motor was cold.

[orchestral music]