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1
00:01:04,085 --> 00:01:04,985
That wasn't a store robbery.
2
00:01:06,987 --> 00:01:09,087
That was an assassination.
3
00:01:09,089 --> 00:01:12,323
That wasn't a clerk.
That was a wise guy.
4
00:01:12,325 --> 00:01:15,759
How do I know? (CHUCKLES)
5
00:01:15,761 --> 00:01:19,362
I spent a little time with
the FBI's
organized crime unit.
6
00:01:19,364 --> 00:01:21,764
I guess you could say that
I'm intimately knowledgeable
7
00:01:21,766 --> 00:01:23,866
with the seedy and rancorous
workings of the mob
8
00:01:23,868 --> 00:01:26,435
in the Midwest
section of this country.
9
00:01:26,437 --> 00:01:28,603
I know a gangland
slaying when I see one,
10
00:01:28,605 --> 00:01:30,738
and that's exactly
what this baby is.
11
00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:34,541
I'd look into it
myself personally,
but I got a date tonight.
12
00:01:34,543 --> 00:01:37,277
Think I'll take the private jet out
13
00:01:37,279 --> 00:01:40,079
and fly to Spain, pick up the little lady.
14
00:01:40,081 --> 00:01:42,881
Do the subsonic tummy
bump at 30,000 feet.
15
00:01:42,883 --> 00:01:45,683
Then glide back into the U.S.
of A. by dawn.
16
00:01:45,685 --> 00:01:50,286
I know what you're gonna say,
"Jim. Jim Dodge, settle down.
17
00:01:50,288 --> 00:01:52,621
"Relax. You owe it to yourself." (CHUCKLING)
18
00:01:52,623 --> 00:01:54,789
I'll tell you what I
tell everybody else.
19
00:01:54,791 --> 00:01:58,793
Any little Fraulein that
expects anything more from me
20
00:01:58,795 --> 00:02:00,427
than a little bit of pleasure
and a little bit of danger
21
00:02:00,429 --> 00:02:02,695
and a great set of pectorals,
22
00:02:02,697 --> 00:02:04,630
she's looking for
a fall right on her ass.
23
00:02:04,932 --> 00:02:06,231
(YELPS)
24
00:02:06,233 --> 00:02:09,367
(DOGS BARKING)
25
00:02:09,369 --> 00:02:11,369
Hubie, Hubie, Hubie, Hubie!
26
00:02:11,371 --> 00:02:13,371
Get out of here!
Let me tell you something.
27
00:02:13,373 --> 00:02:16,006
If you know
what's good for you,
don't you ever come back!
28
00:02:16,742 --> 00:02:18,608
Wait a minute, now, Hubie.
29
00:02:18,610 --> 00:02:20,910
You're not gonna find someone
who has the relationship
with those animals
30
00:02:20,912 --> 00:02:22,611
that I do.
(BARKING CONTINUES)
31
00:02:22,613 --> 00:02:25,313
Listen to the dogs, Hubie.
They love me!
32
00:02:26,883 --> 00:02:30,050
It all started when I was 15.
33
00:02:30,052 --> 00:02:33,086
That's when I invented
the artificial cow heart.
34
00:02:33,088 --> 00:02:35,755
Oh, that was a big thing.
35
00:02:35,757 --> 00:02:39,058
A little before your time,
but it made all
the newspapers,
36
00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:41,727
ABC, NBC, CBS,
they all picked up on it,
37
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:45,063
but it's more or less
a hobby for me, boys.
38
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,299
BOY: Scoot over!
39
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,634
(GRUNTS) Actually,
40
00:02:51,837 --> 00:02:55,605
today I decided that I've gone
just about as far I can go
41
00:02:55,607 --> 00:02:57,807
in the animal
health-care business.
42
00:02:57,809 --> 00:03:01,076
But that's your question.
The reason that I'm not
at work this afternoon,
43
00:03:01,078 --> 00:03:05,847
is because I was made an offer
that I simply cannot refuse.
I sold.
44
00:03:05,849 --> 00:03:07,615
Whatcha gonna do
with the cash, Jim?
45
00:03:07,617 --> 00:03:09,583
I don't know. Maybe
I'll invest it overseas.
46
00:03:09,585 --> 00:03:11,618
I've got some projects
in eastern Europe right now.
47
00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:13,419
I don't know. I've got
everything a man needs.
48
00:03:13,421 --> 00:03:16,455
Jim, you just bought
the animal hospital.
49
00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:19,156
How come you sold it so fast?
50
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:23,259
Tax problem.
51
00:03:23,261 --> 00:03:25,628
And here's my
accountant right now.
52
00:03:25,630 --> 00:03:28,030
Earl, take a bow. (LAUGHS)
53
00:03:28,032 --> 00:03:31,299
20 minutes for lunch, okay?
Go buy another suit.
54
00:03:31,301 --> 00:03:33,467
(LAUGHS) He works for me.
55
00:03:33,469 --> 00:03:35,802
He's scouting some
real estate for me right now.
56
00:03:35,804 --> 00:03:38,337
Yeah,
but the market's real tight.
57
00:03:41,275 --> 00:03:43,574
I like the new uniform,
Lorraine.
58
00:03:46,045 --> 00:03:48,311
You know, with
the right shoes and handbag,
59
00:03:48,313 --> 00:03:50,546
that might be suitable
for a cocktail party.
60
00:03:51,115 --> 00:03:53,548
So... Question.
61
00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:57,018
When in
the world are you going
to start serving sashimi?
62
00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:59,053
Maybe when I
find out what it is.
63
00:04:00,189 --> 00:04:03,956
(CHUCKLES) You've
never heard of sashimi?
64
00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:06,158
You've got to be kidding.
65
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,461
It's this special
Japanese fish you eat raw.
66
00:04:09,463 --> 00:04:11,029
With a little butter sauce,
67
00:04:11,031 --> 00:04:14,132
and you're ready
to go to heaven.
68
00:04:14,134 --> 00:04:19,170
I'd hire you in a minute
if I hadn't already
fired you so many times.
69
00:04:19,172 --> 00:04:21,872
Did you ever
think of leaving town?
70
00:04:23,008 --> 00:04:26,309
Thousands of people
over in St. Louis...
71
00:04:26,311 --> 00:04:29,478
Got no idea how
full of shit you are.
72
00:04:31,315 --> 00:04:34,816
You've been alive for
21 years, my friend.
73
00:04:34,818 --> 00:04:39,052
Plenty of time for most people
to find a place
for themselves.
74
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:43,155
Well,
I'm not like everybody else.
75
00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:45,724
You know what I'm saying?
(CHUCKLES)
76
00:04:45,726 --> 00:04:47,892
Yeah, that's for sure.
77
00:04:50,363 --> 00:04:52,663
How about if I...
78
00:04:52,665 --> 00:04:54,898
I work for you for free?
79
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,833
(BELL RINGS)
80
00:04:56,835 --> 00:04:59,268
No.
81
00:04:59,270 --> 00:05:01,803
I'm afraid not, Jimmy.
82
00:05:02,505 --> 00:05:05,171
Think about St. Louis.
83
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,239
Hey, Josie.
JOSIE: Hi.
84
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,506
Fill her up?
85
00:05:09,508 --> 00:05:10,740
JOSIE: Fill her up.
86
00:05:30,027 --> 00:05:31,926
How you doin'?
87
00:05:45,407 --> 00:05:46,472
(CHUCKLES)
88
00:05:48,709 --> 00:05:50,542
You got fired again,
didn't you? Didn't you?
89
00:05:50,544 --> 00:05:52,243
Yeah.
90
00:05:52,245 --> 00:05:53,611
(STAMMERING)
Who told you that?
91
00:05:53,613 --> 00:05:56,046
Hubie Marshall
called me at work.
92
00:05:56,048 --> 00:05:58,214
He called you at work?
93
00:05:58,216 --> 00:06:02,050
That's it. Okay,
I'm gonna... I'll speak...
What'd he say?
94
00:06:02,052 --> 00:06:04,886
He said he fired ya!
95
00:06:04,888 --> 00:06:07,255
He said that?
And you believed him?
96
00:06:07,257 --> 00:06:09,090
Damn straight I do!
97
00:06:09,092 --> 00:06:14,061
With all due respect, Dad,
you're Mr. Gullible,
sometimes. (CHUCKLING)
98
00:06:14,063 --> 00:06:16,296
The truth of the matter is,
Dad, I resigned.
99
00:06:17,232 --> 00:06:18,397
I'll tell you
something else, Dad.
100
00:06:18,399 --> 00:06:19,431
Shut up, Jimmy!
101
00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:21,633
When I took the job,
I had no idea
102
00:06:21,635 --> 00:06:24,669
it was gonna be
a hire-fire situation.
103
00:06:24,671 --> 00:06:27,138
Luther Betenhauser's boy
is doing much better.
104
00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:28,439
What's wrong with him?
105
00:06:28,441 --> 00:06:29,740
Fell off his
grandfather's silo.
106
00:06:29,742 --> 00:06:31,074
He's got brain damage.
107
00:06:31,076 --> 00:06:32,308
(MUFFLED) He does not.
108
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:33,942
He does, too.
109
00:06:33,944 --> 00:06:35,743
Hoover Fey says his
tongue's gonna hang out
110
00:06:35,745 --> 00:06:37,444
the side of his mouth
the rest of his life.
111
00:06:37,446 --> 00:06:39,245
And when he dies
and they bury him,
112
00:06:39,247 --> 00:06:41,580
at the funeral they're
gonna put a mask on him.
113
00:06:41,582 --> 00:06:44,015
Do I have to listen to
this while I'm eating?
114
00:06:44,684 --> 00:06:46,717
Let's talk about
something else.
115
00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:54,290
Josie McClellan
moved to New York.
116
00:06:54,292 --> 00:06:57,259
She did not. I saw her today.
117
00:06:57,261 --> 00:06:59,261
Well,
I don't know how you could.
118
00:06:59,263 --> 00:07:02,197
I heard at the bank
that she got tired
of taking care of her father,
119
00:07:02,199 --> 00:07:03,965
and she told him
to jump in a lake,
120
00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:07,034
and then she left for New York
to get her MBA in
high-fashion design
121
00:07:07,036 --> 00:07:09,703
at the University
of New York City.
122
00:07:09,705 --> 00:07:13,472
I just saw her down
at the gas station
in living color.
123
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:16,107
We had a cup of java together.
124
00:07:16,109 --> 00:07:20,177
Well,
I'm gonna take Lou Selby's
word over yours any day.
125
00:07:20,179 --> 00:07:23,947
Lou Selby.
Lou Selby's a drunk.
126
00:07:23,949 --> 00:07:26,716
You know, for a guy who's just
lost his umpteenth job,
127
00:07:26,718 --> 00:07:28,684
you sure are handy
with the tongue sword.
128
00:07:28,686 --> 00:07:30,786
You got canned again?
129
00:07:30,788 --> 00:07:32,788
Well, he didn't get canned.
130
00:07:33,724 --> 00:07:34,889
He got fired.
131
00:07:36,225 --> 00:07:38,091
That's gotta be
some kind of a record.
132
00:07:39,561 --> 00:07:40,726
(CLEARS THROAT)
133
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,462
Not only are you
an obnoxious slug,
134
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,231
but you're
a freeloading obnoxious slug.
135
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,132
Well, you should talk.
136
00:07:49,134 --> 00:07:51,367
What are you?
In your mid-forties
and still living at home.
137
00:07:52,670 --> 00:07:55,537
I'm 24, and I pay rent.
138
00:07:56,072 --> 00:07:57,237
JIM: So do I.
139
00:07:57,239 --> 00:07:58,371
You did pay rent.
140
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:02,640
Dad, you mean
you're cutting my rent?
141
00:08:02,642 --> 00:08:04,708
Hell, no!
142
00:08:04,710 --> 00:08:06,476
You're not paying a rent
'cause you don't have a job
143
00:08:06,478 --> 00:08:08,077
and you don't have any money.
144
00:08:08,079 --> 00:08:10,779
You're out of school
and you live in this house,
you pay rent!
145
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:32,900
Jim! Yo, Jim!
146
00:08:32,902 --> 00:08:34,935
Jim, wake up!
147
00:08:34,937 --> 00:08:37,271
Hey, get up!
148
00:08:39,675 --> 00:08:41,574
(SCREAMING) Get up!
149
00:08:46,013 --> 00:08:49,147
JIM:
You know, getting this job,
150
00:08:49,149 --> 00:08:51,282
restoring your
faith and pride in me
151
00:08:51,284 --> 00:08:53,350
is a number-one
priority right now, Dad.
152
00:08:53,352 --> 00:08:56,720
Priority ought to be making
something of yourself.
153
00:08:56,722 --> 00:08:58,455
That's right up there.
154
00:08:58,457 --> 00:09:02,691
When I was your age,
I couldn't wait to get
out of my folks' house.
155
00:09:04,561 --> 00:09:06,193
I love living at home.
156
00:09:16,838 --> 00:09:20,238
I don't think this is such
a great place for
me to work, Dad.
157
00:09:22,875 --> 00:09:24,541
Okay,
158
00:09:24,543 --> 00:09:27,744
say I don't get this job,
hypothetically.
159
00:09:28,379 --> 00:09:29,911
Are you gonna be upset?
160
00:09:29,913 --> 00:09:33,313
You don't get this job,
you're on a bus to St. Louis.
161
00:09:33,315 --> 00:09:35,081
St. Louis?
162
00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:37,817
Uncle Jeff's offered
to put you to work
in his garden shop.
163
00:09:37,819 --> 00:09:39,718
I don't know
anything about gardening.
164
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,153
You will learn!
165
00:09:42,155 --> 00:09:45,523
I'm getting
a distinct feeling that
you want me out of your life.
166
00:09:45,525 --> 00:09:48,558
I don't want you
out of my life.
I want you out of my house.
167
00:09:50,428 --> 00:09:52,060
Wow.
Out!
168
00:09:52,062 --> 00:09:53,895
Okay, okay, okay.
169
00:10:09,845 --> 00:10:12,612
MARSH: Are you
sure I can't offer you
a coffee and a bear claw?
170
00:10:12,614 --> 00:10:14,180
JIM: (CHUCKLES) No, thanks.
171
00:10:14,182 --> 00:10:15,915
(LAUGHS) They're very good,
they're fresh.
172
00:10:15,917 --> 00:10:17,683
No, I'm fine.
173
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,451
You don't want one,
and I don't need one.
174
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:21,119
(BOTH LAUGHING)
175
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,453
Right!
176
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,254
I love the darn things,
though, I tell you.
177
00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:26,556
You know, I got a sweet tooth,
I could eat those
things by the dozen.
178
00:10:26,558 --> 00:10:28,257
By the looks of it, I have.
(LAUGHS)
179
00:10:28,259 --> 00:10:29,891
(LAUGHS) Right.
180
00:10:29,893 --> 00:10:33,561
I tell ya, I'm so excited
that you're considering
181
00:10:33,563 --> 00:10:36,096
joining the Target team.
We all are.
182
00:10:37,466 --> 00:10:39,032
I appreciate that.
183
00:10:39,034 --> 00:10:42,535
Good, then, let's cut
right to the chase, shall we?
184
00:10:43,704 --> 00:10:47,105
We're prepared to
offer you $42,500 a year,
185
00:10:47,107 --> 00:10:49,273
with a full benefit package.
186
00:10:49,975 --> 00:10:52,041
That's dental, medical,
187
00:10:52,043 --> 00:10:54,143
profit sharing, pension,
188
00:10:54,145 --> 00:10:56,979
expense account,
car allowance,
189
00:10:56,981 --> 00:10:58,914
vacation, of course,
190
00:10:58,916 --> 00:11:02,284
and any and all
relocating expenses.
191
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:06,821
This is our first,
best, and last offer.
What do you think?
192
00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:09,623
Well... (CLEARS THROAT)
193
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:12,826
C.D., with all due respect,
194
00:11:12,828 --> 00:11:14,561
I came in here
195
00:11:14,563 --> 00:11:17,463
with the number 45
in my mind, and...
196
00:11:26,139 --> 00:11:27,471
(EXHALES)
197
00:11:35,246 --> 00:11:36,411
Hmm.
198
00:11:39,582 --> 00:11:42,115
(CHUCKLING) You've got me.
199
00:11:42,117 --> 00:11:43,182
(CHUCKLING)
200
00:11:43,184 --> 00:11:44,750
45 it is.
201
00:11:44,752 --> 00:11:46,251
(BOTH LAUGHING)
202
00:11:46,253 --> 00:11:47,652
Welcome aboard.
203
00:11:47,654 --> 00:11:49,086
Thank you.
204
00:11:49,088 --> 00:11:50,253
I'd like to buy you lunch.
205
00:11:50,255 --> 00:11:51,654
No, no, no.
206
00:11:51,656 --> 00:11:53,822
Your money's no good here.
Lunch is mine, all right?
207
00:11:53,824 --> 00:11:55,323
I'm not going to
argue with you.
208
00:11:55,325 --> 00:11:56,791
You better not.
I'm bigger than you are.
209
00:11:56,793 --> 00:11:58,292
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(INTERCOM BUZZING)
210
00:11:58,294 --> 00:12:00,260
Hang on a second, will you?
I told her to hold my calls.
211
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:01,794
Get it.
212
00:12:01,796 --> 00:12:03,328
Yeah, Peg. Uh-huh.
213
00:12:04,264 --> 00:12:06,931
(CHUCKLING) No, it's okay.
214
00:12:06,933 --> 00:12:08,465
No, he's right here
with me now. (LAUGHS)
215
00:12:08,467 --> 00:12:09,966
Hi, Peg. (LAUGHS)
216
00:12:09,968 --> 00:12:12,268
We just closed the deal.
Uh-huh.
217
00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:16,504
Oh, it was a slam-dunk, too.
I got him for 45.
218
00:12:16,506 --> 00:12:18,439
(CHUCKLING)
219
00:12:21,644 --> 00:12:23,510
No, he's right here.
220
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:27,679
What do you mean,
he missed the plane?
221
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,416
Then who the hell
am I talking to?
222
00:12:34,319 --> 00:12:36,352
(SIGHS) Oh, Lord!
223
00:12:37,988 --> 00:12:41,355
I'll, uh...
I'll get back to you.
224
00:12:42,891 --> 00:12:44,690
Hey, I know a great
little Italian place
225
00:12:44,692 --> 00:12:47,626
that has the best
pasta primatonis in the...
226
00:12:47,628 --> 00:12:49,461
Excuse me a minute,
will you, please?
227
00:12:49,463 --> 00:12:50,895
Lovely wife you have there.
228
00:12:50,897 --> 00:12:52,296
Dodge, James?
229
00:12:53,165 --> 00:12:54,230
Mmm-hmm.
230
00:12:55,366 --> 00:12:56,965
(SIGHS)
231
00:12:56,967 --> 00:12:59,701
James, I'm afraid we have
a little
misunderstanding here.
232
00:12:59,703 --> 00:13:02,370
You see, I thought you
came in for the, uh...
233
00:13:02,372 --> 00:13:05,706
Operations Manager's job.
234
00:13:05,708 --> 00:13:08,208
I have you down here
as night cleanup boy.
235
00:13:11,546 --> 00:13:13,345
Well, I'm a little overpaid
236
00:13:13,347 --> 00:13:16,247
for night cleanup boy,
wouldn't you say, C.D.?
(LAUGHS)
237
00:13:17,984 --> 00:13:21,518
The truth is, James,
I can offer you
$4.44 per hour.
238
00:13:25,056 --> 00:13:28,523
Uh, four, four... $4.44...
239
00:13:28,525 --> 00:13:30,324
$4.44.
240
00:13:30,326 --> 00:13:32,259
What about the benefits?
241
00:13:32,261 --> 00:13:34,661
Two fifteen-minute breaks
and a half hour for lunch.
242
00:13:36,031 --> 00:13:39,899
And the title is,
uh, night cleanup boy?
243
00:13:40,601 --> 00:13:41,899
Yes.
244
00:13:44,403 --> 00:13:46,202
I'll take it.
245
00:13:46,204 --> 00:13:48,337
Oh, and, uh, lose the curl.
246
00:13:49,873 --> 00:13:51,973
Welcome to the Target team.
Thank you.
247
00:13:53,676 --> 00:13:56,943
BOSENBECK: So the parrot says,
"Of course, I can talk.
Can you fly?"
248
00:13:56,945 --> 00:14:00,012
(ALL LAUGHING)
249
00:14:01,515 --> 00:14:05,349
I don't want any damn Japanese
automobile plant in this town.
250
00:14:08,187 --> 00:14:10,187
(STAMMERING) It means jobs.
251
00:14:11,356 --> 00:14:13,289
I don't need a job.
252
00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:16,358
Your governor's tryin' to use
my town as a political chip.
253
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,093
Gentlemen, I resent that.
254
00:14:18,095 --> 00:14:21,996
Well, there could be some
specific benefits
for you personally.
255
00:14:25,934 --> 00:14:27,799
ROGER: Josie!
256
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,570
Yeah?
Come here.
257
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:35,772
I want you to
meet these gentlemen
from the governor's office.
258
00:14:36,941 --> 00:14:39,107
Come on in here, honey.
259
00:14:52,388 --> 00:14:53,987
(CLEARS THROAT)
260
00:14:55,623 --> 00:14:56,989
Honey, I want you
to meet Bill, uh...
261
00:14:56,991 --> 00:14:58,323
Uh, Bob.
262
00:14:59,559 --> 00:15:01,292
Uh, Bob Bosenbeck.
263
00:15:04,629 --> 00:15:05,794
Bob.
264
00:15:19,609 --> 00:15:21,308
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
265
00:15:21,743 --> 00:15:22,976
Dave.
266
00:15:26,114 --> 00:15:28,414
My pleasure, Dave.
267
00:15:28,416 --> 00:15:30,349
(CHUCKLES)
268
00:15:30,351 --> 00:15:32,117
Right.
Dave Hockner. (CLEARS THROAT)
269
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,354
I don't want to
interrupt your meeting.
270
00:15:36,356 --> 00:15:38,456
Very nice to meet both of you.
271
00:15:38,758 --> 00:15:40,524
Bye.
272
00:15:40,526 --> 00:15:42,192
HOCKNER: Bye.
273
00:15:47,032 --> 00:15:48,831
ROGER: (MUFFLED) Josie?
274
00:15:50,234 --> 00:15:51,800
Josie!
275
00:15:52,936 --> 00:15:54,835
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
276
00:15:56,238 --> 00:15:58,037
(DOOR OPENS)
277
00:15:59,373 --> 00:16:02,607
You pull another
stunt like you did today,
278
00:16:02,609 --> 00:16:05,443
I'll beat the livin'
daylights outta you!
279
00:16:17,723 --> 00:16:20,056
(PASSIONATE MOANING)
280
00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:26,727
(GASPING)
281
00:16:26,729 --> 00:16:27,894
All right, out!
282
00:16:28,563 --> 00:16:31,230
(GIRL SCREAMING)
283
00:16:31,232 --> 00:16:34,1000
Out of here, man.
Get out of here!
284
00:16:35,002 --> 00:16:36,134
Get out of the car!
285
00:16:36,136 --> 00:16:37,201
(STRUGGLING)
286
00:16:37,736 --> 00:16:39,135
(GROANS)
287
00:16:41,772 --> 00:16:42,904
(LAUGHS)
288
00:16:49,679 --> 00:16:51,011
(TIRES SCREECHING)
289
00:16:51,413 --> 00:16:53,312
(CAR HONKING)
290
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:57,982
Right on time!
291
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,253
Everything's going as planned.
292
00:17:04,422 --> 00:17:05,654
You ordered a limousine?
293
00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:09,223
Of course. (CHUCKLES)
294
00:17:10,025 --> 00:17:11,424
My first day at work.
295
00:17:11,426 --> 00:17:14,493
How's it gonna look
if my dad drives me?
296
00:17:14,495 --> 00:17:16,595
A little treat to
myself for getting the job.
297
00:17:16,597 --> 00:17:18,496
It was only 50 bucks.
298
00:17:19,098 --> 00:17:20,997
(WHISTLING)
299
00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:22,331
Right on time, Henry.
300
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,999
Yes, sir.
301
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,767
Henry, the sign... (LAUGHS)
302
00:17:25,769 --> 00:17:27,435
Very well, sir.
303
00:17:30,772 --> 00:17:32,838
Ciao!
304
00:17:39,345 --> 00:17:41,845
Hey, Jim, where are you going?
305
00:17:42,714 --> 00:17:45,281
Hello, boys.
306
00:17:45,283 --> 00:17:47,716
Going to Paris on an F-14.
307
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:50,618
Got a little peace meeting
with the Vice-President
of Bulgaria.
308
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:53,454
Business, you know?
Then I'm going to Venice,
309
00:17:53,456 --> 00:17:56,123
for a big spaghetti dinner
with the princess of Austria.
310
00:17:56,125 --> 00:17:58,792
A beautiful lady...
Really big bones.
311
00:17:58,794 --> 00:18:01,561
Remember to brush
your teeth, Melvin!
312
00:18:01,563 --> 00:18:04,797
You, too, Sidney! Adios!
313
00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:09,268
Jim is so cool!
314
00:19:38,925 --> 00:19:39,941
Bobby.
315
00:19:39,942 --> 00:19:40,958
Got a loose tile here.
First thing in the morning,
316
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,427
I want you to take
some epoxy cement
and take care of this.
317
00:19:43,429 --> 00:19:45,562
I don't need a lawsuit, okay?
318
00:19:45,564 --> 00:19:48,064
(CHUCKLES) I've got
enough to worry about.
319
00:19:49,767 --> 00:19:51,066
Who's he?
320
00:19:51,068 --> 00:19:52,667
WOMAN: (OVER P.A.)
Attention shoppers.
321
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:54,502
The store will be closing in five minutes.
322
00:19:54,504 --> 00:19:57,805
Please bring all your purchases to the front. Thank you.
323
00:20:36,645 --> 00:20:37,877
Are you a slacker?
324
00:20:38,813 --> 00:20:42,047
Uh... No, uh, Presbyterian.
325
00:20:42,049 --> 00:20:44,349
What did you say?
What did you say?
326
00:20:44,351 --> 00:20:46,451
I'm askin' you
a simple question.
327
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,686
Are you lazy?
No, sir.
328
00:20:48,688 --> 00:20:51,021
'Cause the last guy
that wore that uniform
was a lazy slacker,
329
00:20:51,023 --> 00:20:52,856
and I fired his no-good butt.
330
00:20:54,226 --> 00:20:56,993
Uh... About the uniform,
331
00:20:56,995 --> 00:20:58,627
will I be getting my own?
332
00:20:58,629 --> 00:21:01,062
(LAUGHS) You work out,
which I doubt,
333
00:21:01,064 --> 00:21:02,797
you can have
yourself a new name patch.
334
00:21:03,499 --> 00:21:04,564
(CHUCKLES)
335
00:21:07,869 --> 00:21:10,502
Eh, uh... Would I be
able to have it laundered?
336
00:21:10,504 --> 00:21:12,470
It smells a little bit
like Darnell. (CHUCKLES)
337
00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:15,473
I don't think you know
who you're messin' with, boy.
338
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,975
Right, after you clean
the ladies' and
men's crappers,
339
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:20,143
I'm talking about
you'd better be able
to eat off those bowls.
340
00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:21,978
Oh, sure.
You clean my coffeemaker,
341
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:23,546
then you wax my desk.
342
00:21:23,548 --> 00:21:25,814
Uh, clean what?
343
00:21:25,816 --> 00:21:27,549
You clean my
coffeemaker and wax my desk!
344
00:21:27,551 --> 00:21:29,584
I got it!
345
00:21:29,586 --> 00:21:31,819
You, uh, sweep the aisles,
startin' with
health and beauty,
346
00:21:31,821 --> 00:21:33,687
and you work your way over
to juniors and misses.
347
00:21:33,689 --> 00:21:36,656
Ups and downs, leaving your
debris in the cross aisles.
348
00:21:36,658 --> 00:21:37,823
So I start with
health and beauty...
349
00:21:37,825 --> 00:21:39,157
What did I just say?
350
00:21:39,159 --> 00:21:41,192
I just said to start
with health and beauty, okay?
351
00:21:41,194 --> 00:21:42,826
Then you do your cross aisles.
352
00:21:42,828 --> 00:21:44,661
That'll bring your
dustbin into play.
353
00:21:44,663 --> 00:21:46,929
You take the debris.
You load it into the dustbin.
354
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:49,831
You take the dustbin out
to the loading dock area
355
00:21:49,833 --> 00:21:51,732
and you empty it
into the receptacle.
356
00:21:51,734 --> 00:21:53,033
You got that? Easy as pie.
357
00:21:53,035 --> 00:21:54,667
Yeah.
358
00:21:54,669 --> 00:21:56,669
Now, I was employed
for a brief period
at Del Taco, and...
359
00:21:56,671 --> 00:21:59,505
I don't care about your
Del Taco experiences, boy.
360
00:21:59,507 --> 00:22:02,007
All right. Now,
we've got this little problem
in this store with grazers.
361
00:22:02,009 --> 00:22:03,775
You know what
a grazer is, boy?
362
00:22:03,777 --> 00:22:06,010
Is that some
sort of farm term?
363
00:22:06,012 --> 00:22:07,778
A grazer is
a customer or an employee
364
00:22:07,780 --> 00:22:09,513
that eats off the shelves,
okay?
365
00:22:09,515 --> 00:22:12,349
Sort of similar
to a cow grazing
in a field of grass.
366
00:22:12,351 --> 00:22:14,951
Only this isn't
a field of grass, okay,
and you're not a cow.
367
00:22:14,953 --> 00:22:17,586
There's no eatin'.
You're not being
paid to eat, so don't!
368
00:22:17,588 --> 00:22:19,054
You got any questions?
369
00:22:19,056 --> 00:22:20,455
Not right offhand, no.
370
00:22:20,457 --> 00:22:21,956
You think you can handle it?
371
00:22:21,958 --> 00:22:23,390
Oh, I'll give it
the old college try.
372
00:22:23,392 --> 00:22:24,991
Don't touch me!
373
00:22:25,927 --> 00:22:28,360
Well,
despite our age difference,
374
00:22:28,362 --> 00:22:30,028
I think I'm really gonna
enjoy working with you.
375
00:22:30,030 --> 00:22:32,230
Let's get
something straight, boy.
You ain't workin' with me.
376
00:22:32,232 --> 00:22:34,198
You're working for me.
(EXCLAIMS)
377
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,867
Still,
I think it's gonna be fun
being around you.
378
00:22:36,869 --> 00:22:38,435
Yeah, I ain't gonna
be anywhere near you.
379
00:22:38,437 --> 00:22:40,937
I'm gonna be home
pumping the pasties
out of Colleen Jackson.
380
00:22:40,939 --> 00:22:42,371
You're not going to be here?
381
00:22:42,373 --> 00:22:43,705
Hell, no.
382
00:22:45,308 --> 00:22:48,976
I'm gonna be here by myself?
383
00:22:48,978 --> 00:22:52,712
Yeah, that's right!
And you'd better stay out
of the ladies' undergoods.
384
00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:57,616
Wait a minute.
Nobody told me
I'd be here alone.
385
00:22:57,618 --> 00:22:59,050
What are you doing?
386
00:22:59,052 --> 00:23:00,418
Saving money.
387
00:23:00,420 --> 00:23:02,386
Wait a minute. Are you
turning off the lights?
388
00:23:02,388 --> 00:23:04,888
In 25 seconds, you got light
in every third aisle.
389
00:23:04,890 --> 00:23:06,122
When the sun
comes up, you turn off
390
00:23:06,124 --> 00:23:07,323
all the lights.
You understand?
391
00:23:08,259 --> 00:23:11,226
No, I don't understand.
Just hold on a second!
392
00:23:11,228 --> 00:23:12,994
I'm locking you in.
393
00:23:12,996 --> 00:23:16,363
When I come back
at 7:00 to open up,
I'll let you out.
394
00:23:18,633 --> 00:23:20,633
You're locking me in?
395
00:23:20,635 --> 00:23:22,234
What do you take
me for, a fool?
396
00:23:22,236 --> 00:23:25,737
Nobody gets a set of keys
on their first night. Nobody!
397
00:23:25,739 --> 00:23:27,705
Now, get to work!
398
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,639
What if there's a fire?
399
00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:31,007
Then the fire
department will come.
400
00:23:31,676 --> 00:23:32,975
I could perish!
401
00:23:32,977 --> 00:23:34,443
(LAUGHS) Boo!
402
00:23:34,445 --> 00:23:37,946
You can't do this.
I'm locked in,
alone, in the dark.
403
00:23:37,948 --> 00:23:40,014
That was not a part
of my employment agreement.
404
00:24:52,821 --> 00:24:53,920
Ah!
405
00:25:24,218 --> 00:25:25,951
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
406
00:25:57,750 --> 00:25:59,782
9:17?
407
00:26:01,418 --> 00:26:04,118
(SIGHS) Time for a break.
408
00:26:21,770 --> 00:26:23,803
(LAUGHING)
409
00:26:29,744 --> 00:26:31,142
Hello.
410
00:26:33,412 --> 00:26:35,044
Anybody out there?
411
00:26:35,046 --> 00:26:37,012
When I accepted the...
412
00:26:37,014 --> 00:26:40,281
The post of President, grand Pooh-Bah of Target,
413
00:26:42,084 --> 00:26:44,651
realizing that I have brought
414
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,120
meaningfulness and peace and happiness,
415
00:26:48,122 --> 00:26:50,489
into the lives of thousands of people.
416
00:26:51,191 --> 00:26:53,858
Jim Dodge, of Monroe,
417
00:26:53,860 --> 00:26:55,860
top moneymaker on the tour.
418
00:26:55,862 --> 00:26:58,362
His father's here today,
Bud Dodge,
419
00:26:58,364 --> 00:27:00,230
and sister Penny,
a sad, sad story,
420
00:27:00,232 --> 00:27:03,366
was just admitted to
university hospital.
421
00:27:03,368 --> 00:27:07,203
While trying to pop a zit,
her head
mysteriously exploded.
422
00:27:13,110 --> 00:27:14,875
(MAN GROANING ON TV)
423
00:27:16,712 --> 00:27:18,211
(GROWLING)
424
00:27:19,047 --> 00:27:21,313
(SLURPING)
425
00:27:29,422 --> 00:27:31,588
(PHONE RINGING)
426
00:27:31,590 --> 00:27:33,289
JIM: Dad! Hi!
427
00:27:33,291 --> 00:27:35,224
Jim,
do you know what time it is?
428
00:27:35,226 --> 00:27:39,094
You know,
I'm starting to think
about Christmas and gifts,
429
00:27:39,096 --> 00:27:42,563
because I'm in a big store and I'm starting to get a lot of gift ideas.
430
00:27:42,565 --> 00:27:43,897
Hi.
431
00:27:43,899 --> 00:27:45,431
Mom, hi!
432
00:27:45,433 --> 00:27:47,399
How's it going?
433
00:27:47,401 --> 00:27:50,568
Well, I finished
all my janitor stuff,
I've finished most of it.
434
00:27:50,570 --> 00:27:52,436
I've got to save
some stuff for later.
435
00:27:52,438 --> 00:27:54,504
But it's easy as hell.
436
00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:57,240
Um, honey, it's a little late.
437
00:27:57,242 --> 00:28:00,343
Yeah, it is kind of late.
Well, sleep tight.
438
00:28:01,679 --> 00:28:03,779
See you in the morning.
(DIAL TONE)
439
00:28:03,781 --> 00:28:05,347
Love you, too.
440
00:28:10,586 --> 00:28:12,752
Mr. James Dodge!
441
00:29:08,575 --> 00:29:11,709
Oh. He can't be happy
as the night cleanup boy.
442
00:29:13,546 --> 00:29:15,279
Sweetheart...
443
00:29:16,181 --> 00:29:18,814
He wants us to
call him a janitor.
444
00:29:21,318 --> 00:29:25,586
Maybe I should have spent
less time harping
and more time helping.
445
00:29:26,488 --> 00:29:28,888
Harpin' and helpin' him what?
446
00:29:30,091 --> 00:29:34,326
Harpin' on him to leave,
and helpin' him become the...
447
00:29:34,328 --> 00:29:37,429
Good, mature,
productive person he could be.
448
00:30:58,578 --> 00:30:59,643
(GROANS)
449
00:31:07,585 --> 00:31:09,318
Are you all right?
450
00:31:10,988 --> 00:31:12,854
Yes, I'm fine, thanks.
451
00:31:12,856 --> 00:31:13,921
And you?
452
00:31:15,524 --> 00:31:16,990
What are you doing here?
453
00:31:18,593 --> 00:31:20,926
I work here.
454
00:31:20,928 --> 00:31:22,861
CARL:
Have a good one, Officer Don.
455
00:31:22,863 --> 00:31:26,830
Okay, Carl. Keep in touch.
Let me know if
you hear anything.
456
00:31:26,832 --> 00:31:28,398
CARL: You bet.
457
00:31:30,301 --> 00:31:32,634
Well, sir,
she didn't leave on the bus.
458
00:31:32,636 --> 00:31:35,837
Apparently, she isn't here.
Let's go look for
her someplace else.
459
00:31:35,839 --> 00:31:39,273
She wouldn't be dumb
enough to thumb, would she?
460
00:31:39,275 --> 00:31:42,775
Does she have any friends
that she might
have run off with?
461
00:31:43,344 --> 00:31:45,110
Boyfriends?
462
00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:48,613
Would you just get in the car
so we can go look
for the girl, please?
463
00:31:48,615 --> 00:31:50,648
I'm tired,
I had to get out of the bed,
464
00:31:50,650 --> 00:31:52,683
I haven't had any coffee.
I don't feel good.
465
00:31:52,685 --> 00:31:54,051
My daughter, I don't know
where the hell she is.
466
00:31:54,053 --> 00:31:55,819
And you're
standing by the car there,
467
00:31:55,821 --> 00:31:57,654
sounding like some goddamn
preacher or something!
468
00:31:57,656 --> 00:31:59,288
Come on. Get in the car!
469
00:32:01,058 --> 00:32:02,290
Prick.
470
00:32:07,163 --> 00:32:09,463
Are you sure you
didn't hurt yourself?
471
00:32:09,465 --> 00:32:12,165
Oh, no. Are you kidding?
472
00:32:12,167 --> 00:32:14,700
No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
473
00:32:14,702 --> 00:32:16,134
Can I ask what you were doing?
474
00:32:16,136 --> 00:32:18,136
Uh...
Oh, I was roller-skating.
475
00:32:19,005 --> 00:32:20,671
I know, but why?
476
00:32:20,673 --> 00:32:22,806
Oh, why not?
477
00:32:22,808 --> 00:32:26,476
I got bored. One thing
led to another and...
478
00:32:26,478 --> 00:32:29,579
And I'm roller-skating
in my shorts. (CHUCKLES)
479
00:32:29,581 --> 00:32:31,881
Better question would be,
"What are you doing here?"
480
00:32:32,583 --> 00:32:34,316
Shopping.
481
00:32:34,318 --> 00:32:36,918
Well, we've been
closed for five hours.
482
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,186
Yeah. I fell asleep.
483
00:32:39,188 --> 00:32:40,687
While shopping?
484
00:32:40,689 --> 00:32:42,321
No,
in the ladies' dressing room.
485
00:32:42,323 --> 00:32:45,891
That makes no sense.
You're
a high-profile young ingenue.
486
00:32:45,893 --> 00:32:47,692
I was debating...
What?
487
00:32:47,694 --> 00:32:51,095
Whether or not to get
arrested for shoplifting.
488
00:32:51,097 --> 00:32:54,264
Doesn't your father own, like,
$10 million worth of
real estate in this town?
489
00:32:54,266 --> 00:32:56,065
Well, it's not my fault.
490
00:32:56,067 --> 00:32:57,833
No, no, I didn't imply such.
491
00:32:57,835 --> 00:33:01,069
It just seems funny
that someone of your...
492
00:33:01,071 --> 00:33:02,837
Wealth?
493
00:33:02,839 --> 00:33:04,505
If you will.
Would be shoplifting...
494
00:33:04,507 --> 00:33:06,974
I didn't do it.
I chickened out.
495
00:33:07,910 --> 00:33:10,610
Would consider shoplifting.
496
00:33:10,612 --> 00:33:14,346
It's a long,
dull, self-indulgent,
highly unromantic story
497
00:33:14,348 --> 00:33:16,848
about an overbearing father,
498
00:33:16,850 --> 00:33:19,050
deceased mother and brother
499
00:33:19,052 --> 00:33:22,686
and a completely confused girl
who looks a little like me.
500
00:33:34,532 --> 00:33:35,597
(EXCLAIMS)
501
00:33:36,199 --> 00:33:37,364
(SIGHS)
502
00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:03,255
I sure am glad you dropped by.
503
00:34:03,257 --> 00:34:06,057
I was getting pretty
tired of being with myself.
504
00:34:09,095 --> 00:34:12,896
I guess...
I guess, I'm what you
call a people person.
505
00:34:16,067 --> 00:34:17,299
What are you cooking?
506
00:34:17,301 --> 00:34:18,466
Uh, Hobo Chicken.
507
00:34:18,468 --> 00:34:20,835
It's a glazed
chicken in wine sauce
508
00:34:20,837 --> 00:34:23,771
with vegetables
and skin-on potatoes.
509
00:34:23,773 --> 00:34:25,973
Silverware... Silverware...
510
00:34:29,278 --> 00:34:31,244
It's only 210 calories.
511
00:34:31,246 --> 00:34:33,512
And I don't know
if you're watching
512
00:34:33,514 --> 00:34:35,747
your figure, but I sure am.
(CHUCKLES)
513
00:34:35,749 --> 00:34:37,949
Uh, if you can just
grab a serving spoon
514
00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:40,084
over there,
I think we'll be set.
515
00:34:45,357 --> 00:34:47,523
Uh, keep your
distance from these things.
516
00:34:47,525 --> 00:34:49,758
I think it's safe
to keep five feet.
517
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:51,192
(BELL DINGS)
518
00:34:54,764 --> 00:34:56,929
I think they're about done.
519
00:34:59,099 --> 00:35:01,498
Well,
dining room's right this way.
520
00:35:04,035 --> 00:35:05,734
Mmm!
521
00:35:06,036 --> 00:35:08,669
Mmm. Oh.
522
00:35:08,671 --> 00:35:12,271
I think my father poured
the cement for your pool.
523
00:35:13,707 --> 00:35:16,707
He's a cement contractor.
Good man.
524
00:35:17,843 --> 00:35:19,375
Bud Dodge?
525
00:35:19,377 --> 00:35:22,177
My mother works at Hoenicker's
over Christmas, part time.
526
00:35:22,179 --> 00:35:24,045
My sister's
a teller at the bank.
527
00:35:24,047 --> 00:35:26,947
My brother's in grade school.
He's not
employed at the moment.
528
00:35:26,949 --> 00:35:29,683
I used to work at
the animal shelter.
529
00:35:29,685 --> 00:35:33,186
But I was terminated.
And now...
Now I'm working here.
530
00:35:35,657 --> 00:35:37,289
Do you always talk this much?
531
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,561
Yeah, I guess I do.
532
00:35:42,563 --> 00:35:44,629
I like talking to people.
533
00:35:46,599 --> 00:35:49,066
I was thinking maybe
you should go into sales.
534
00:35:49,068 --> 00:35:50,333
I've actually tried that.
535
00:35:57,741 --> 00:36:00,108
Some fresh ground pepper?
536
00:36:00,110 --> 00:36:01,542
Please.
537
00:36:04,013 --> 00:36:05,846
Some people don't
like a lot of pepper.
538
00:36:05,848 --> 00:36:07,647
Say when.
That's fine.
539
00:36:08,850 --> 00:36:10,616
I happen to
really like it a lot.
540
00:36:10,618 --> 00:36:14,152
I think it enhances
the natural flavor
of the chicken.
541
00:36:17,757 --> 00:36:20,491
I hope you don't
take this the wrong way.
542
00:36:21,327 --> 00:36:23,460
I've had dreams about you.
543
00:36:23,462 --> 00:36:25,661
You've had dreams about me?
544
00:36:27,264 --> 00:36:28,763
Not recently.
545
00:36:28,765 --> 00:36:30,931
I've had dreams
about you in the past.
546
00:36:30,933 --> 00:36:33,433
I've had dreams about
entire cheerleading squads,
547
00:36:33,435 --> 00:36:35,501
so don't get me wrong.
548
00:36:35,503 --> 00:36:37,769
It's kid stuff, you know.
How 'bout you?
549
00:36:37,771 --> 00:36:39,237
Do I dream?
Mmm.
550
00:36:41,608 --> 00:36:43,541
That's about all I do.
551
00:36:57,489 --> 00:37:01,023
ROGER:
Raisin' a kid's hard work.
You got any kids?
552
00:37:01,025 --> 00:37:03,892
No, sir. No, sir.
And from
listening to you talking
553
00:37:03,894 --> 00:37:05,793
and from observin' this,
554
00:37:05,795 --> 00:37:09,029
I'm kinda grateful old Emily
turned up infertile.
555
00:37:26,180 --> 00:37:28,980
Shouldn't you be
cleaning up the store?
556
00:37:29,816 --> 00:37:31,315
I got plenty of time.
557
00:37:31,884 --> 00:37:33,916
Big store.
Huge.
558
00:37:35,819 --> 00:37:37,285
Always smoke cigars?
559
00:37:38,855 --> 00:37:41,222
I enjoy a good one
after a fine meal.
560
00:37:41,224 --> 00:37:43,224
It settles the stomach.
561
00:37:44,393 --> 00:37:46,059
You're the town liar, right?
562
00:37:50,931 --> 00:37:52,096
What?
563
00:37:52,098 --> 00:37:56,166
I'm sorry.
That really came out wrong.
564
00:37:56,168 --> 00:37:57,834
I don't see how
something like that
could come out right.
565
00:37:57,836 --> 00:37:59,268
I guess I meant that's
what people call you.
566
00:37:59,270 --> 00:38:00,669
But I didn't mean to imply
that it's actually true.
567
00:38:00,671 --> 00:38:01,870
People are
actually calling me that?
568
00:38:01,872 --> 00:38:03,504
I thought you knew.
569
00:38:03,506 --> 00:38:05,005
Know what?
That I was the town liar?
570
00:38:05,007 --> 00:38:06,239
You didn't?
571
00:38:06,241 --> 00:38:07,573
No. I'm not.
572
00:38:07,575 --> 00:38:09,174
I think that you might have
the wrong information.
573
00:38:09,176 --> 00:38:10,341
I didn't mean to offend you.
574
00:38:11,610 --> 00:38:13,076
Did you think that
was a compliment?
575
00:38:13,078 --> 00:38:15,244
No. No. And I apologize.
576
00:38:15,246 --> 00:38:17,879
You know, I can't
repeat things like that.
577
00:38:17,881 --> 00:38:20,448
Don't think about it.
It's all right.
578
00:38:20,450 --> 00:38:23,050
As I said, I think you've got
the wrong information.
579
00:38:23,052 --> 00:38:25,052
But, if people
are calling me that,
580
00:38:25,054 --> 00:38:27,687
it's only
because they're small,
cheap, petty, and jealous.
581
00:38:27,689 --> 00:38:30,189
Small towns are notorious
for that kinda thing.
582
00:38:30,191 --> 00:38:31,423
I'm sure
there's a word for me.
583
00:38:31,425 --> 00:38:32,857
Oh, yeah. Sure.
584
00:38:32,859 --> 00:38:34,058
What do they call me?
585
00:38:34,060 --> 00:38:35,292
A tease.
586
00:38:35,294 --> 00:38:36,693
Tease?
587
00:38:38,563 --> 00:38:40,963
Yeah, I can see that.
588
00:38:40,965 --> 00:38:42,364
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
589
00:38:42,366 --> 00:38:44,966
Actually, I never teased.
590
00:38:44,968 --> 00:38:47,301
This is becoming amusing.
591
00:38:47,303 --> 00:38:49,202
Who exactly calls me a liar?
592
00:38:49,204 --> 00:38:51,070
Everybody.
593
00:38:51,072 --> 00:38:52,704
Everybody.
No, not everybody.
594
00:38:52,706 --> 00:38:54,205
I'm sure there's
some old people in town.
595
00:38:54,207 --> 00:38:55,639
Right.
596
00:39:01,913 --> 00:39:03,612
Well, what do you think?
597
00:39:03,614 --> 00:39:05,279
What do I think?
598
00:39:07,216 --> 00:39:09,082
Do you think I'm a liar?
599
00:39:09,084 --> 00:39:11,283
Well,
I don't know you well enough.
600
00:39:12,986 --> 00:39:14,986
You've known me
for almost 17 years.
601
00:39:14,988 --> 00:39:17,388
We went to the same schools
from kindergarten on up.
602
00:39:17,390 --> 00:39:20,123
I knew of you,
but I didn't
know you personally.
603
00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:23,459
That's always bothered me.
604
00:39:23,461 --> 00:39:27,128
I mean, that old "in-out,
us-them" thing.
605
00:39:27,130 --> 00:39:28,596
That's the way it's been.
606
00:39:28,598 --> 00:39:29,997
I know.
It's always bothered me.
607
00:39:29,999 --> 00:39:32,432
Sure, but it's
water over the dam now.
608
00:39:32,434 --> 00:39:35,735
(SIGHS) Yeah, but it's
your dam and my water.
609
00:39:35,737 --> 00:39:37,503
I got crapped on
a lot of years.
610
00:39:37,505 --> 00:39:39,738
I just meant that
it's in the past.
611
00:39:39,740 --> 00:39:42,574
Well, the present is
a result of the past.
612
00:39:42,576 --> 00:39:44,809
I look at my high
school yearbook,
613
00:39:44,811 --> 00:39:47,912
and I don't see
four fabulous years.
614
00:39:47,914 --> 00:39:50,114
Actually, what I'm reminded of
is what it feels like
615
00:39:50,116 --> 00:39:52,249
to have my
underwear yanked up my ass
616
00:39:52,251 --> 00:39:54,618
by some big football player
with arms like
telephone poles.
617
00:39:54,620 --> 00:39:57,153
Okay,
and where are those guys now?
618
00:39:58,756 --> 00:40:03,291
I know they're not
working nights at Target.
I'll tell you that. (LAUGHS)
619
00:40:03,293 --> 00:40:06,093
(CHUCKLES) Yeah. You know,
620
00:40:06,095 --> 00:40:08,095
I look at my yearbook
621
00:40:08,097 --> 00:40:11,397
and I see four fabulous years
622
00:40:12,867 --> 00:40:14,800
that are gonna be
the highlight of my life.
623
00:40:14,802 --> 00:40:16,935
Here's what it's like...
624
00:40:16,937 --> 00:40:20,204
First,
you feel a hand going down
the back of your pants
625
00:40:20,206 --> 00:40:21,939
and tighten around
the elastic waistband...
626
00:40:21,941 --> 00:40:23,607
Highlight.
627
00:40:23,609 --> 00:40:25,442
Sometimes I'd
actually see stars.
628
00:40:25,444 --> 00:40:27,143
It's not going
to get any better.
629
00:40:27,145 --> 00:40:29,678
And if I was
particularly unlucky,
630
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,147
my shorts would like
rip completely free
631
00:40:32,149 --> 00:40:33,548
and I would get this
really drastic fabric...
632
00:40:33,550 --> 00:40:34,882
Jim? Do you hear me?
633
00:40:37,820 --> 00:40:39,019
Yeah.
636
00:41:14,101 --> 00:41:17,1000
I don't really care
about a graphic description
of a childhood prank.
634
00:40:46,027 --> 00:40:48,360
Hey, that prank was
a motif in my life.
635
00:40:52,832 --> 00:40:56,500
You know,
I'm locked in this store here
636
00:40:56,502 --> 00:40:59,503
because I didn't have
the guts to steal a skirt,
637
00:40:59,505 --> 00:41:02,339
so I could get arrested
and embarrass my father
638
00:41:02,341 --> 00:41:04,908
in this stupid,
desperate, childish,
639
00:41:04,910 --> 00:41:07,076
pathetic
attempt to leave home.
640
00:41:07,078 --> 00:41:09,645
(SMIRKS) And you
have your underwear
yanked up your ass.
641
00:41:09,647 --> 00:41:12,581
I have my entire
life yanked up my ass.
642
00:41:14,351 --> 00:41:16,517
Well,
you're speaking figuratively.
643
00:41:16,519 --> 00:41:18,585
I was speaking literally.
And you're happy.
644
00:41:18,587 --> 00:41:19,886
You know, you're happy.
645
00:41:21,089 --> 00:41:22,655
I'm not happy.
646
00:41:22,657 --> 00:41:24,323
I'm working nights.
647
00:41:24,325 --> 00:41:26,825
Uh,
everybody thinks I'm a liar.
648
00:41:26,827 --> 00:41:28,526
My whole
family's laughing at me.
649
00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:30,728
Reverend Harwell gave me
the finger last week.
650
00:41:30,730 --> 00:41:32,096
Okay, okay, you're not happy,
651
00:41:32,098 --> 00:41:33,831
but at least you have
some control over your life.
652
00:41:33,833 --> 00:41:35,799
So do you.
My father controls my life.
653
00:41:36,668 --> 00:41:38,334
You're over 18.
654
00:41:38,336 --> 00:41:40,269
You can tell him to drop dead,
and get on a plane.
655
00:41:40,271 --> 00:41:41,503
So can you.
656
00:41:41,505 --> 00:41:42,637
I don't want to.
657
00:41:44,374 --> 00:41:46,240
I like living at home.
658
00:41:46,242 --> 00:41:47,541
No, you don't.
659
00:41:47,543 --> 00:41:50,410
What am I, a garden snail?
660
00:41:51,513 --> 00:41:53,513
An involuntary
muscle in a janitor suit?
661
00:41:53,515 --> 00:41:55,248
I,
uh, I know what I want to do.
662
00:41:56,084 --> 00:41:57,683
What could you possibly like
663
00:41:57,685 --> 00:42:00,085
about living at
home at your age?
664
00:42:00,087 --> 00:42:04,254
The meals are great.
I mean, there's the, uh...
There's cable.
665
00:42:05,690 --> 00:42:08,924
Um, the accommodations
are excellent, five-star.
666
00:42:08,926 --> 00:42:10,959
What do you care if I'm
living at home or not?
667
00:42:12,195 --> 00:42:14,929
Hey, I didn't come
here to irritate you.
668
00:42:14,931 --> 00:42:16,597
Well, you're beginning to.
669
00:42:19,868 --> 00:42:22,869
(SIGHS) Great.
That's really great.
670
00:42:22,871 --> 00:42:25,872
I gotta stop saying
those kinds of things.
671
00:42:25,874 --> 00:42:28,541
Those freakin' kids!
I knew I couldn't trust 'em.
672
00:42:28,543 --> 00:42:31,710
Town liar.
That's a nice rep. Nice rep.
673
00:42:31,712 --> 00:42:33,578
I bet it was Gregory,
that little weasel.
674
00:42:33,580 --> 00:42:35,446
Top secret,
top secret, I tell 'em,
675
00:42:35,448 --> 00:42:37,214
and they still
shoot off their mouths!
676
00:42:37,216 --> 00:42:39,282
If I'd really
been a French spy,
677
00:42:39,284 --> 00:42:41,651
those little tots
would've gotten me killed!
678
00:42:41,653 --> 00:42:43,619
Piano wire
wrapped around my neck.
679
00:42:43,621 --> 00:42:45,287
My testicles
shoved down my throat,
680
00:42:45,289 --> 00:42:47,355
a piece of
dynamite stuck up my ass.
681
00:42:51,260 --> 00:42:53,326
(SIGHS)
682
00:42:53,328 --> 00:42:54,693
She's so beautiful.
683
00:42:57,097 --> 00:42:58,663
And I'm the town liar.
684
00:43:03,436 --> 00:43:06,837
(MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
685
00:44:15,407 --> 00:44:17,006
(MUSIC STOPS)
686
00:44:42,266 --> 00:44:46,934
JOSIE: (OVER P.A.)
Jim, there's no reason to lie right now.
687
00:44:46,936 --> 00:44:49,436
There's no one to impress.
688
00:44:49,438 --> 00:44:51,137
You know, I'm not impressed by a man
689
00:44:51,139 --> 00:44:52,938
telling me he likes living at home.
690
00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:56,341
Excuse me. I'm not lying,
691
00:44:56,343 --> 00:44:58,509
and I'm not
trying to impress you.
692
00:44:58,511 --> 00:45:00,711
So, if you'll excuse me,
I have work to do.
693
00:45:00,713 --> 00:45:03,180
I have to clean dead flies
out of the lighting fixtures.
694
00:45:03,182 --> 00:45:06,449
Okay, okay, my error. I apologize.
695
00:45:06,451 --> 00:45:10,386
It's just that I can't imagine a man,
696
00:45:10,388 --> 00:45:13,755
giving up his independence,
his right to mate,
697
00:45:14,457 --> 00:45:16,290
to have a family,
698
00:45:16,292 --> 00:45:19,726
to have children, to build a life for himself,
699
00:45:19,728 --> 00:45:20,960
for good cooking.
700
00:45:20,962 --> 00:45:22,294
Hold on.
701
00:45:22,296 --> 00:45:25,130
I have not given
up my right to mate.
702
00:45:25,132 --> 00:45:27,465
(CHUCKLES) I have
the right to mate
703
00:45:27,467 --> 00:45:30,534
anytime I feel like mating.
704
00:45:31,236 --> 00:45:33,002
You go out with someone.
705
00:45:33,004 --> 00:45:34,803
You bring her home.
706
00:45:34,805 --> 00:45:36,838
You introduce her to...
707
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,907
Mom, Dad, sis, Billy,
708
00:45:40,509 --> 00:45:42,141
Woofie the dog.
709
00:45:42,143 --> 00:45:44,042
Cocktails in
the rumpus room, and then
710
00:45:44,911 --> 00:45:46,577
do it on the bunk bed?
711
00:45:46,812 --> 00:45:48,511
Oh,
712
00:45:48,513 --> 00:45:50,312
let's analyze that remark.
713
00:45:50,981 --> 00:45:52,847
First, I don't have a dog,
714
00:45:52,849 --> 00:45:54,515
my brother's not named Billy,
715
00:45:54,517 --> 00:45:57,684
and I don't even
have a rumpus room.
So I don't even...
716
00:45:57,686 --> 00:45:59,218
JOSIE: You know what I mean.
717
00:46:04,390 --> 00:46:06,957
Yeah, I know what you mean.
718
00:46:08,060 --> 00:46:09,893
Spit on me,
make me feel lousy.
719
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,066
Jim?
720
00:46:19,436 --> 00:46:21,669
You said something
that wasn't true.
721
00:46:22,538 --> 00:46:24,170
No.
722
00:46:24,172 --> 00:46:28,773
No, I said that I can
have sex when I want to,
723
00:46:28,775 --> 00:46:31,609
and I do. I do.
724
00:46:31,611 --> 00:46:34,677
However, I was
looking forward to a nice,
quiet evening of janitoring.
725
00:46:37,348 --> 00:46:39,181
I don't think you see
what I'm getting at.
726
00:46:39,850 --> 00:46:41,783
I see what you're getting at.
727
00:46:41,785 --> 00:46:44,385
I'm a lying monk
with an Oedipus complex
728
00:46:44,387 --> 00:46:45,686
and an appetite
for home cooking.
729
00:46:45,688 --> 00:46:47,287
Don't forget. You're
the indecisive shoplifter.
730
00:46:47,289 --> 00:46:49,289
Yes! Exactly!
731
00:46:49,291 --> 00:46:51,457
I would do anything
to be in your shoes.
732
00:46:52,126 --> 00:46:54,693
These are Darnell's shoes.
733
00:46:54,695 --> 00:46:57,328
You know, you have freedom,
and you're not using it.
734
00:46:58,531 --> 00:47:00,464
It makes me sad.
735
00:47:00,466 --> 00:47:03,033
Well, you have
the collective wealth
of the entire town,
736
00:47:03,035 --> 00:47:05,802
and you're trying to
get yourself arrested.
Now, that makes me sad.
737
00:47:05,804 --> 00:47:07,870
That makes me sad, too.
738
00:47:07,872 --> 00:47:09,204
That's pretty stupid.
739
00:47:09,206 --> 00:47:10,471
It's very stupid.
740
00:47:11,740 --> 00:47:13,706
Are you serious?
741
00:47:13,708 --> 00:47:15,974
I mean,
you haven't been drinking?
742
00:47:15,976 --> 00:47:17,775
This isn't the bottle talking?
743
00:47:18,544 --> 00:47:19,876
No.
744
00:47:20,812 --> 00:47:23,545
Then why don't you
just talk to the guy?
745
00:47:25,715 --> 00:47:28,615
For the same reason
that you can't leave home,
746
00:47:28,617 --> 00:47:30,616
I can't tell my
father to go to hell.
747
00:47:32,219 --> 00:47:33,685
Why not?
748
00:47:36,423 --> 00:47:39,290
Because I don't
want to be alone.
749
00:47:59,611 --> 00:48:01,010
(GRUNTING)
750
00:48:07,017 --> 00:48:08,649
Mr. McClellan?
751
00:48:10,119 --> 00:48:13,186
You ever have any
family problems,
you and your daughter?
752
00:48:14,322 --> 00:48:16,354
What the hell do
you think this is?
753
00:48:18,191 --> 00:48:19,590
You got a point.
754
00:48:25,464 --> 00:48:27,163
Would you go
with me somewhere?
755
00:48:30,134 --> 00:48:31,766
Where?
Florida?
756
00:48:32,435 --> 00:48:34,601
Wyoming? Spain?
757
00:48:34,603 --> 00:48:36,836
It doesn't really matter,
just away somewhere.
758
00:48:38,272 --> 00:48:39,771
I'd love to.
759
00:48:40,507 --> 00:48:43,174
I just can't afford to be
760
00:48:43,176 --> 00:48:45,309
capricious and
carefree like yourself.
761
00:48:45,311 --> 00:48:49,078
I, uh, I've gotta set
my sights on something
and really go for it.
762
00:48:50,147 --> 00:48:51,613
Night janitor?
763
00:48:52,549 --> 00:48:54,615
It's a beginning.
I'm looking at...
764
00:48:54,617 --> 00:48:56,249
It's an end.
765
00:48:58,786 --> 00:49:00,952
Maybe if you had,
like, a destination in mind,
766
00:49:00,954 --> 00:49:03,220
that would make
all
the difference in the world.
767
00:49:04,289 --> 00:49:06,455
Why?
768
00:49:06,457 --> 00:49:08,957
Well,
uh, I'm, uh, I'm just not
769
00:49:08,959 --> 00:49:11,326
built to
aimlessly roam the world.
770
00:49:11,328 --> 00:49:13,694
(STAMMERING) I'm too
conservative for that.
771
00:49:15,130 --> 00:49:16,996
Well,
772
00:49:16,998 --> 00:49:19,131
I was thinking
about Los Angeles.
773
00:49:19,133 --> 00:49:21,233
Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.
774
00:49:22,402 --> 00:49:23,634
What for?
775
00:49:23,636 --> 00:49:24,701
Live. Work.
776
00:49:26,404 --> 00:49:28,137
At what?
Whatever.
777
00:49:28,873 --> 00:49:30,973
And what about your father?
778
00:49:32,643 --> 00:49:34,509
When I don't die,
779
00:49:34,511 --> 00:49:37,745
he'll realize that I
can make it on my own.
780
00:49:37,747 --> 00:49:41,915
If I do,
he'll have the satisfaction
of knowing that I can't.
781
00:49:41,917 --> 00:49:45,318
If I run and he
brings me back,
or if I go back on my own,
782
00:49:45,320 --> 00:49:47,019
either way he's just,
uh, gonna beat
the shit out of me.
783
00:49:47,021 --> 00:49:48,754
So it doesn't
really make a difference.
784
00:49:48,756 --> 00:49:50,222
What, uh, literally?
785
00:49:53,893 --> 00:49:54,958
Yeah.
786
00:49:56,328 --> 00:49:57,660
Sad.
787
00:49:58,596 --> 00:49:59,995
Yeah, it's sad.
788
00:49:59,996 --> 00:50:02,397
Until he throws you
across the room, it's sad.
789
00:50:03,433 --> 00:50:04,999
I'm just afraid
to live with him,
790
00:50:05,001 --> 00:50:06,700
and I'm afraid to
live without... You know,
791
00:50:06,702 --> 00:50:09,669
you didn't come to
work to hear this stuff.
I'm really sorry.
792
00:50:09,671 --> 00:50:11,003
That's all right.
793
00:50:11,005 --> 00:50:12,237
I'm gonna clean this up.
794
00:50:20,380 --> 00:50:22,446
I'm, uh, I'm just surprised.
795
00:50:22,448 --> 00:50:24,414
I thought everything
was okay, you know.
796
00:50:25,350 --> 00:50:26,716
I figured you got
a nice car, you got
797
00:50:26,718 --> 00:50:28,017
a nice house,
you got some money.
798
00:50:28,019 --> 00:50:29,418
Everything's okay.
799
00:50:29,420 --> 00:50:31,186
It should be,
800
00:50:31,188 --> 00:50:32,787
but it's not.
801
00:50:32,789 --> 00:50:34,855
It's twisted,
and it's distorted,
802
00:50:34,857 --> 00:50:37,524
and it can't be changed,
and it cannot be saved.
803
00:50:45,066 --> 00:50:46,465
I'll go with you.
804
00:50:51,772 --> 00:50:53,304
Really?
805
00:50:54,408 --> 00:50:55,707
Yeah.
806
00:50:57,577 --> 00:50:59,209
We have to get a car.
807
00:51:00,579 --> 00:51:02,412
Let's get through the night,
first.
808
00:51:02,414 --> 00:51:03,880
I have money.
809
00:51:03,882 --> 00:51:05,047
How much?
810
00:51:05,049 --> 00:51:06,715
$52,000.
811
00:51:09,186 --> 00:51:10,385
On you?
812
00:51:12,055 --> 00:51:13,820
(WHISPERS) In my purse.
813
00:51:16,057 --> 00:51:17,389
(GULPS)
814
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:29,099
JIM: $52,000. Wow.
815
00:51:30,335 --> 00:51:32,668
I've never seen so
much money in my life.
816
00:51:32,670 --> 00:51:34,969
(SNIFFS) This is
more than my house cost.
817
00:51:36,339 --> 00:51:38,405
Jim,
818
00:51:38,407 --> 00:51:40,607
now that I'm
spending the night,
819
00:51:40,609 --> 00:51:42,275
how can I pay you back
820
00:51:42,277 --> 00:51:44,677
for being so cold to
you in high school?
821
00:51:47,515 --> 00:51:49,348
Do you need
an answer right away?
822
00:51:49,616 --> 00:51:50,915
No.
823
00:51:51,851 --> 00:51:53,750
Sometime before
the sun comes up.
824
00:51:57,121 --> 00:51:58,753
Well, uh,
825
00:51:59,689 --> 00:52:01,689
you're probably not
going to remember this,
826
00:52:01,924 --> 00:52:04,190
but, uh,
827
00:52:04,192 --> 00:52:06,792
there was a homecoming dance
our sophomore year.
828
00:52:06,794 --> 00:52:08,093
Mmm-hmm.
829
00:52:08,095 --> 00:52:09,360
Do you remember Mrs. Noble?
830
00:52:10,529 --> 00:52:13,196
Large, hairy gym teacher
831
00:52:13,198 --> 00:52:15,064
with a suspiciously
cumbersome groin bulge?
832
00:52:15,066 --> 00:52:16,799
I had her for two years.
833
00:52:16,801 --> 00:52:18,300
Well, she made
everybody switch partners
834
00:52:18,302 --> 00:52:19,701
because all the fat girls
were dancing together,
835
00:52:19,703 --> 00:52:21,302
and the doinks,
myself included,
836
00:52:21,304 --> 00:52:22,870
were standing
against the wall,
837
00:52:22,872 --> 00:52:25,072
blowing spit bubbles.
Right.
838
00:52:25,074 --> 00:52:30,844
Well, uh, for three-quarters
of one verse of a slow song,
839
00:52:32,314 --> 00:52:33,680
we danced together.
840
00:52:35,316 --> 00:52:36,715
You reeked of Stridex.
841
00:52:37,884 --> 00:52:39,617
Oh, no, that was Larry Fry.
842
00:52:40,886 --> 00:52:42,218
I'm sorry.
843
00:52:43,487 --> 00:52:44,719
I don't remember.
844
00:52:44,721 --> 00:52:46,754
Well...
845
00:52:46,756 --> 00:52:48,689
You got your hair
caught in my braces.
846
00:52:49,391 --> 00:52:50,890
I don't remember.
847
00:52:50,892 --> 00:52:52,291
Well, it's not important.
848
00:52:54,828 --> 00:52:56,260
I had...
849
00:52:56,262 --> 00:52:57,894
Well, I just always...
850
00:52:58,963 --> 00:53:00,963
Dreamed of
finishing that dance.
851
00:53:04,234 --> 00:53:05,299
Okay.
852
00:53:08,570 --> 00:53:12,171
Oh, don't, uh, don't feel
you have to answer right away.
(LAUGHS)
853
00:53:12,173 --> 00:53:15,641
It's just a small portion
of my life that's incomplete.
854
00:53:15,643 --> 00:53:17,909
I thought you were gonna say
something different.
855
00:53:24,083 --> 00:53:25,582
Well,
856
00:53:27,452 --> 00:53:29,151
first things first.
857
00:53:36,459 --> 00:53:38,091
(MUSIC PLAYING)
858
00:53:45,199 --> 00:53:49,233
¶ When things go wrong
859
00:53:50,436 --> 00:53:53,370
¶ As they sometimes will
860
00:53:53,372 --> 00:53:57,941
¶ When the road you're trudging seems all uphill
861
00:54:01,546 --> 00:54:05,180
¶ When the funds are low
862
00:54:06,516 --> 00:54:09,783
¶ And the debts are high
863
00:54:09,785 --> 00:54:14,687
¶ And you want to smile, but you have to sigh
864
00:54:18,059 --> 00:54:21,360
¶ When care
865
00:54:21,362 --> 00:54:25,997
¶ Is pressing you down a bit
866
00:54:25,999 --> 00:54:29,033
¶ Rest if you must
867
00:54:32,304 --> 00:54:34,970
¶ But don't you quit
868
00:54:36,807 --> 00:54:39,407
¶ Oh, no
869
00:54:40,076 --> 00:54:43,443
¶ Don't you quit
870
00:54:44,979 --> 00:54:46,945
¶ Oh, no
871
00:55:02,395 --> 00:55:06,696
¶ But you never can tell
872
00:55:06,698 --> 00:55:11,033
¶ How close you are
873
00:55:11,035 --> 00:55:16,638
¶ It may be near when it seems so far
874
00:55:17,407 --> 00:55:18,472
¶ Ooh ¶
875
00:55:24,212 --> 00:55:26,879
(INDISTINCT
POLICE RADIO CHATTER)
876
00:55:26,881 --> 00:55:29,248
(JIM AND JOSIE GIGGLING)
877
00:55:32,353 --> 00:55:34,653
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
878
00:55:54,874 --> 00:55:56,707
(LAUGHING)
879
00:55:56,709 --> 00:55:57,908
JIM: Aah!
880
00:55:57,910 --> 00:55:59,142
(SCREAMING)
881
00:55:59,144 --> 00:56:00,343
JOSIE: Ow.
882
00:56:08,452 --> 00:56:10,718
(SQUEAKING)
883
00:56:19,294 --> 00:56:21,193
(KNOCKING)
884
00:56:33,006 --> 00:56:34,638
Officer Don!
885
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:36,906
Oh! You scared
the crap out of me.
886
00:56:36,908 --> 00:56:39,408
I thought it
was the custodian.
887
00:56:39,410 --> 00:56:41,510
Jim,
what are you doing in there?
888
00:56:41,512 --> 00:56:43,478
I work here now.
889
00:56:45,782 --> 00:56:47,348
(SQUEAKING)
890
00:56:48,584 --> 00:56:50,650
You wanna let me in?
891
00:56:50,652 --> 00:56:53,819
I'd love to let you in.
I don't have the keys.
892
00:56:53,821 --> 00:56:55,654
I'm locked in
here till 7:00 a.m.
893
00:56:56,156 --> 00:56:57,688
What's going on?
894
00:56:57,690 --> 00:56:59,923
Have you seen Josie McClellan?
895
00:57:01,359 --> 00:57:03,692
(STAMMERS) Of course, uh...
896
00:57:04,494 --> 00:57:08,094
Dark hair,
green eyes, beautiful.
897
00:57:08,096 --> 00:57:09,495
Oh, yeah. Of course.
898
00:57:09,497 --> 00:57:10,762
You seen her recently?
899
00:57:10,764 --> 00:57:12,597
Oh!
900
00:57:12,599 --> 00:57:16,100
Ah, matter of fact,
I just saw her yesterday,
yeah.
901
00:57:16,102 --> 00:57:18,335
We had a cup of java together.
902
00:57:18,337 --> 00:57:20,537
She come into the store?
903
00:57:20,539 --> 00:57:23,106
Oh, I don't know.
I only work nights.
904
00:57:23,108 --> 00:57:25,074
Why?
Well,
905
00:57:26,210 --> 00:57:28,043
she's missing.
906
00:57:28,045 --> 00:57:31,780
Now, I was looking around
this side of town for
her and I come past.
907
00:57:31,782 --> 00:57:34,682
I seen that
the outside sign's on.
908
00:57:34,684 --> 00:57:37,084
The outside sign's never on.
909
00:57:37,653 --> 00:57:39,452
JIM: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
910
00:57:39,454 --> 00:57:41,187
Did you try the library?
911
00:57:41,189 --> 00:57:43,588
Because, you know,
maybe she fell asleep reading.
912
00:57:44,824 --> 00:57:46,557
No.
913
00:57:46,559 --> 00:57:49,860
She's probably
just screwing somebody
the old man don't approve of.
914
00:57:52,898 --> 00:57:54,697
(BOTH LAUGHING)
915
00:57:55,633 --> 00:57:57,065
Would you know...
916
00:57:57,067 --> 00:58:01,468
If the custodian comes by
to check up on people?
917
00:58:01,470 --> 00:58:04,304
Oh, no, I wouldn't
think he'd do that, Jimmy.
918
00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:07,407
I feel pretty good now.
919
00:58:16,484 --> 00:58:18,183
I'm sorry, sir.
920
00:58:18,185 --> 00:58:20,485
I had to practice
a little therapy.
921
00:58:21,154 --> 00:58:22,887
Boy's in his own world.
922
01:00:14,933 --> 01:00:16,500
Aah!
923
01:00:55,940 --> 01:00:57,673
Why don't we get
underneath the bench?
924
01:01:01,078 --> 01:01:02,744
JOSIE:
Do you want to get on top?
925
01:01:11,087 --> 01:01:13,320
You check the office.
I'll scope the dressing rooms.
926
01:01:13,322 --> 01:01:14,821
Right.
927
01:01:23,330 --> 01:01:24,828
You're on top.
928
01:01:27,098 --> 01:01:28,464
Did you want to be on top?
929
01:01:28,466 --> 01:01:30,332
Oh, no.
930
01:01:30,334 --> 01:01:33,001
No,
no, uh, I'm fine where I am.
931
01:01:33,269 --> 01:01:34,668
Sure.
932
01:01:40,442 --> 01:01:42,275
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
933
01:02:07,635 --> 01:02:11,469
(WHISPERING) Ow, ow, ow.
934
01:02:13,139 --> 01:02:15,072
I think he went to the back.
935
01:02:26,752 --> 01:02:28,485
(GASP)
Evening.
936
01:02:32,390 --> 01:02:34,690
NESTOR: Nice.
937
01:02:34,692 --> 01:02:36,525
Excellent.
938
01:02:36,527 --> 01:02:39,827
Hey, you got a tattoo?
939
01:02:42,264 --> 01:02:43,429
JIM: No, sir.
940
01:02:43,431 --> 01:02:44,997
Not you, asshole!
941
01:02:44,999 --> 01:02:47,065
I'm a missing person.
942
01:02:47,067 --> 01:02:49,700
The whole town
is looking for me.
943
01:02:49,702 --> 01:02:52,669
What, are you hidin' out?
Yes.
944
01:02:52,671 --> 01:02:55,038
And I would appreciate
it if you'd let us sit up.
945
01:02:55,040 --> 01:02:56,939
What about the tattoo?
946
01:02:57,775 --> 01:02:59,841
I don't have one.
947
01:02:59,843 --> 01:03:01,175
You owe me a buck.
948
01:03:01,177 --> 01:03:02,609
Actually, it's up to two.
949
01:03:02,611 --> 01:03:05,445
I borrowed that one
off you at Burger King.
(MUTTERING)
950
01:03:05,447 --> 01:03:07,079
Excuse me.
(GUN COCKING)
951
01:03:08,615 --> 01:03:11,015
Are you planning to shoot us
in the back of the head?
952
01:03:11,017 --> 01:03:13,750
We haven't
decided yet, have we?
953
01:03:15,353 --> 01:03:16,752
Who are you?
954
01:03:16,754 --> 01:03:19,521
Uh, you don't want to know.
955
01:03:19,523 --> 01:03:21,956
He wouldn't have asked
if he didn't want
to know, butthead.
956
01:03:21,958 --> 01:03:23,924
He's a little crazy.
He's my brother.
957
01:03:23,926 --> 01:03:25,759
He's not quite right.
That's not true.
958
01:03:26,428 --> 01:03:27,860
She doesn't even know me.
959
01:03:27,862 --> 01:03:29,428
Somebody better start
talking straight here.
960
01:03:29,430 --> 01:03:30,929
That's the truth.
961
01:03:31,197 --> 01:03:33,129
Okay.
962
01:03:35,366 --> 01:03:36,965
You want to know?
963
01:03:38,034 --> 01:03:39,933
Mmm-hmm.
Okay, good.
964
01:03:40,368 --> 01:03:42,134
But, uh...
965
01:03:43,303 --> 01:03:45,336
Come on over here.
966
01:03:46,205 --> 01:03:48,738
What?
JIM: Come on over.
967
01:03:48,740 --> 01:03:50,706
Come on over here! Over here.
968
01:04:06,056 --> 01:04:08,322
(COUGHS)
969
01:04:08,324 --> 01:04:10,123
Come on down here.
970
01:04:13,094 --> 01:04:14,827
That's right.
Down here. Down here.
971
01:04:15,229 --> 01:04:16,695
Uh-huh?
972
01:04:17,764 --> 01:04:19,130
Okay.
973
01:04:20,666 --> 01:04:23,133
You dumb sons of bitches.
974
01:04:24,136 --> 01:04:27,170
Do you realize that
you have just walked
975
01:04:27,172 --> 01:04:30,739
straight into a $60-million
drug transaction?
976
01:04:30,741 --> 01:04:32,540
(GUN COCKING)
977
01:04:33,442 --> 01:04:34,774
NESTOR:
So, you're running this
978
01:04:34,776 --> 01:04:38,277
multi-zillion-dollar
drug transaction by yourself?
979
01:04:38,279 --> 01:04:40,112
Little Target boy.
980
01:04:40,114 --> 01:04:42,247
No.
981
01:04:42,249 --> 01:04:44,916
No,
I'm not doing it by myself.
982
01:04:44,918 --> 01:04:46,550
Oh, no, no.
983
01:04:47,786 --> 01:04:49,218
As a matter of fact,
984
01:04:50,754 --> 01:04:52,754
in about 10 minutes,
985
01:04:52,756 --> 01:04:55,957
this place is gonna be
alive with the meanest,
986
01:04:55,959 --> 01:04:59,527
ugliest,
most impatient animals
you guys have ever seen.
987
01:04:59,529 --> 01:05:02,930
So I'll tell you what,
I'll give you
five minutes to take
988
01:05:02,932 --> 01:05:05,632
whatever you want
in the whole store.
Anything you want and just go.
989
01:05:05,634 --> 01:05:08,600
I won't tell. Just go.
Just take your guns and go.
Scoot.
990
01:05:09,336 --> 01:05:11,068
Okay, then, who's the girl?
991
01:05:13,439 --> 01:05:14,671
I'm his hostage.
992
01:05:14,673 --> 01:05:15,838
Yes, yes.
993
01:05:16,941 --> 01:05:19,942
Is that true? Hmm?
994
01:05:19,944 --> 01:05:22,344
Yes! Yes, it's true.
995
01:05:22,779 --> 01:05:24,545
And, um...
996
01:05:27,650 --> 01:05:29,750
If the deal doesn't go down,
997
01:05:30,385 --> 01:05:31,784
she becomes pig feed.
998
01:05:31,786 --> 01:05:32,951
Bullshit.
999
01:05:33,386 --> 01:05:34,852
Oh, really?
1000
01:05:37,823 --> 01:05:39,022
Well, blow her away.
1001
01:05:39,024 --> 01:05:41,124
GIL: Come on, that's bullshit!
1002
01:05:41,126 --> 01:05:42,458
(GRUNTING)
1003
01:05:42,460 --> 01:05:43,892
Okay.
1004
01:05:45,295 --> 01:05:48,728
Then give me your guns
and I'll do it for you.
1005
01:05:49,897 --> 01:05:51,029
It's bullshit, right?
1006
01:05:52,665 --> 01:05:54,097
NESTOR: We'll see.
1007
01:05:56,701 --> 01:05:58,333
Roll over.
1008
01:05:58,335 --> 01:05:59,834
Come on, you heard him.
What?
1009
01:05:59,836 --> 01:06:01,869
Roll over!
That's right. You too, honey.
1010
01:06:01,871 --> 01:06:04,238
You heard me.
Roll over. Come on, do it!
1011
01:06:04,240 --> 01:06:07,974
Come on, come on!
Roll! Roll. That's it.
Very good.
1012
01:06:07,976 --> 01:06:11,310
Mmm! Yeah.
1013
01:06:11,312 --> 01:06:14,246
Um, give me the guns.
1014
01:06:14,248 --> 01:06:15,981
Ah!
1015
01:06:15,983 --> 01:06:17,515
No way, man. Uh-uh.
1016
01:06:17,517 --> 01:06:19,250
Fine. Fine.
1017
01:06:19,252 --> 01:06:21,385
You do it. I don't
need her anymore, anyway.
1018
01:06:22,721 --> 01:06:24,420
I only needed her to
get through customs.
1019
01:06:24,422 --> 01:06:26,088
I don't like this.
1020
01:06:26,090 --> 01:06:27,756
This sucks. It's not worth it.
1021
01:06:27,758 --> 01:06:29,324
Come on, we don't
have much time. Do it!
1022
01:06:29,326 --> 01:06:30,758
All right.
1023
01:06:34,597 --> 01:06:36,330
It's nothing personal.
1024
01:06:36,332 --> 01:06:37,964
Jim!
Too late. They're here!
1025
01:06:40,001 --> 01:06:41,500
It's too late. They're here.
1026
01:06:41,502 --> 01:06:42,701
Men, hold your fire.
Hold the fire.
1027
01:06:42,703 --> 01:06:43,868
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
1028
01:06:43,870 --> 01:06:45,769
Ned in housewares,
hold your fire.
1029
01:06:45,771 --> 01:06:47,570
Tommy in sporting goods,
hold your fire.
1030
01:06:47,572 --> 01:06:48,904
Ned, hold your fire.
1031
01:06:48,906 --> 01:06:51,273
There are infrared scopes
trained on your heads.
1032
01:06:51,275 --> 01:06:52,841
We didn't want this!
1033
01:06:52,843 --> 01:06:54,309
It's the girl
you want, not us!
1034
01:06:55,412 --> 01:06:56,844
Just relax, okay.
Ned, we got a WD-40.
1035
01:06:56,846 --> 01:06:58,345
That's right.
A full-scale PMS.
1036
01:06:58,347 --> 01:07:00,046
Okay, everybody, just relax!
1037
01:07:00,048 --> 01:07:02,915
Now,
now, everybody just relax.
1038
01:07:02,917 --> 01:07:04,683
Okay, the whole
place is gonna blow.
1039
01:07:04,685 --> 01:07:05,850
Everybody just relax.
1040
01:07:05,852 --> 01:07:07,685
Now, put down your guns.
Put the guns down.
1041
01:07:07,687 --> 01:07:09,219
Ned, they're
putting down the guns.
1042
01:07:09,221 --> 01:07:10,920
Are you putting them down?
They are putting them down.
1043
01:07:10,922 --> 01:07:13,355
Now, get down, 'cause
lives are at stake here.
1044
01:07:13,357 --> 01:07:16,757
Let go. Let go, let go.
Now, get back, get back.
1045
01:07:18,193 --> 01:07:21,627
Spread 'em. Spread the legs.
Put down the dogs.
1046
01:07:21,629 --> 01:07:24,196
Okay, put the dogs down.
Put the dogs down.
1047
01:07:24,198 --> 01:07:26,631
Both of 'em!
Put the dogs down! Down!
1048
01:07:28,368 --> 01:07:30,234
That was great!
1049
01:07:30,236 --> 01:07:31,969
I got a big
surprise for you guys.
1050
01:07:31,971 --> 01:07:34,804
GIL: We have a bit of
a surprise for you, too.
1051
01:07:36,308 --> 01:07:38,074
Them guns aren't loaded.
1052
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:45,813
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
1053
01:07:48,551 --> 01:07:50,350
JIM: I got an idea.
1054
01:07:50,352 --> 01:07:52,318
How about a truce?
1055
01:07:52,320 --> 01:07:55,321
I'm full of shit.
You're full of shit.
1056
01:07:55,323 --> 01:07:58,057
I think everybody at
one time in their life
is full of shit.
1057
01:07:58,059 --> 01:07:59,658
I'll throw on
a couple of corn dogs
1058
01:07:59,660 --> 01:08:01,760
and we'll all get
to know each other.
1059
01:08:01,762 --> 01:08:04,062
I'd like to know what
goes on inside your heads.
1060
01:08:04,064 --> 01:08:06,364
Okay, you had
the big one, you had the...
1061
01:08:06,366 --> 01:08:08,032
No.
1062
01:08:08,034 --> 01:08:09,633
Sorry. I could've
sworn you had the big one.
1063
01:08:11,003 --> 01:08:12,736
Ha!
1064
01:08:14,072 --> 01:08:16,105
I lied.
1065
01:08:19,910 --> 01:08:22,943
These are the men that
killed that guy in Saltburg.
1066
01:08:24,046 --> 01:08:26,413
I'm fairly sure
that we're gonna die.
1067
01:08:26,415 --> 01:08:28,214
I just want to tell
you how disappointed I am
1068
01:08:28,216 --> 01:08:30,015
that we're not going
to California together.
1069
01:08:30,017 --> 01:08:31,750
We're not dead yet.
1070
01:08:32,853 --> 01:08:35,520
Pretty darn close.
No.
1071
01:08:35,522 --> 01:08:38,122
If I can get them
to take me with them,
1072
01:08:38,124 --> 01:08:40,524
maybe I can get away
and come back for you.
1073
01:08:40,526 --> 01:08:43,259
Don't forget we need a car
and they obviously have one.
1074
01:08:44,629 --> 01:08:46,562
Just...
1075
01:08:46,564 --> 01:08:47,963
Go along with
whatever I do, okay?
1076
01:08:47,965 --> 01:08:49,331
Okay.
1077
01:09:01,711 --> 01:09:03,744
So,
what's the word on you two?
1078
01:09:03,746 --> 01:09:07,447
Are you married?
Obviously, you're...
1079
01:09:07,449 --> 01:09:10,716
Hack crooks if you can't pull
off a discount store job.
1080
01:09:12,786 --> 01:09:15,453
What were you
planning to steal?
A little hair spray?
1081
01:09:15,955 --> 01:09:17,820
(CHUCKLES)
1082
01:09:19,957 --> 01:09:21,022
Sorry.
1083
01:09:25,227 --> 01:09:26,459
Lady, you got a job?
1084
01:09:28,563 --> 01:09:30,062
No.
1085
01:09:30,064 --> 01:09:31,463
Well, then don't knock ours.
1086
01:09:32,432 --> 01:09:34,565
Crime isn't a job.
It's a sickness.
1087
01:09:39,571 --> 01:09:40,903
Whoops.
1088
01:09:41,805 --> 01:09:43,070
Anyone have some change?
1089
01:09:44,907 --> 01:09:46,573
(COINS CLATTERING)
1090
01:09:54,949 --> 01:09:57,916
You look like a lady
in need of a quarter.
1091
01:09:57,918 --> 01:10:00,250
I might need more
than just a quarter.
1092
01:10:02,921 --> 01:10:05,621
You know...
No.
1093
01:10:05,623 --> 01:10:07,489
You and I could
make a lot of money.
1094
01:10:07,491 --> 01:10:10,425
GIL: Honey,
me and Nestor are partners.
1095
01:10:10,427 --> 01:10:12,527
Okay? We don't need a third.
1096
01:10:12,529 --> 01:10:15,062
You don't know what you need,
so why don't you shut up?
1097
01:10:18,467 --> 01:10:20,500
Hop on.
(LAUGHS)
1098
01:10:24,872 --> 01:10:26,504
(GROANS)
1099
01:10:27,673 --> 01:10:29,339
(CLEARS THROAT)
1100
01:10:36,680 --> 01:10:38,346
Now.
1101
01:10:38,981 --> 01:10:40,714
Let's go now.
1102
01:10:42,150 --> 01:10:43,382
NESTOR: Know what you are?
1103
01:10:43,384 --> 01:10:44,516
Yeah.
1104
01:10:44,518 --> 01:10:47,418
You are one
good-looking ball of trouble.
1105
01:10:50,623 --> 01:10:51,855
Good.
1106
01:11:29,027 --> 01:11:30,493
What do you think,
for the car?
1107
01:11:30,495 --> 01:11:32,061
This one?
1108
01:11:32,063 --> 01:11:35,330
No, the whole thing.
We'll just lay it
down in the back.
1109
01:11:35,332 --> 01:11:37,398
We got
multi-cassette capabilities.
1110
01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:38,899
Think of the sound.
1111
01:12:06,227 --> 01:12:09,361
JIM: Let me just tell you.
I'm not helping
you load your car.
1112
01:12:09,363 --> 01:12:11,229
Think again, boy.
1113
01:12:11,231 --> 01:12:15,032
JIM: You're not going to take
the stolen merchandise
out of the store. No.
1114
01:12:15,034 --> 01:12:16,199
I'm not gonna let you.
1115
01:12:16,201 --> 01:12:17,700
Get out.
1116
01:12:17,702 --> 01:12:18,867
It's stolen. All of it!
1117
01:12:18,869 --> 01:12:20,034
GIL: Give me that!
JIM: No!
1118
01:12:20,036 --> 01:12:22,036
It's mine!
Give it to me!
1119
01:12:22,038 --> 01:12:23,370
It's mine.
1120
01:12:27,808 --> 01:12:30,108
But where... Wait a minute.
1121
01:12:33,546 --> 01:12:34,878
You're not going with them?
1122
01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:36,145
Yeah.
1123
01:12:37,214 --> 01:12:38,946
You'll be an accessory.
1124
01:12:40,549 --> 01:12:42,715
So?
1125
01:12:42,717 --> 01:12:44,717
So? You don't know
anything about them.
1126
01:12:44,719 --> 01:12:46,719
You certainly don't
know anything about him.
1127
01:12:46,721 --> 01:12:48,220
These are
hardened criminals here!
1128
01:12:48,222 --> 01:12:50,322
Okay, come here.
That's enough.
That's enough!
1129
01:12:50,324 --> 01:12:51,389
Gil.
1130
01:12:53,793 --> 01:12:56,460
Don't waste your time.
You could get a hernia.
1131
01:12:56,462 --> 01:12:58,628
You know,
if my foot could talk,
1132
01:12:58,630 --> 01:13:01,631
it would say,
"May I please go
up this geek's ass?"
1133
01:13:01,633 --> 01:13:02,832
NESTOR: Forget him!
Forget him.
1134
01:13:02,834 --> 01:13:04,466
GIL: Come on! All right.
1135
01:13:04,468 --> 01:13:07,235
He's no use to us.
After all, the guy's
built like an oyster.
1136
01:13:07,237 --> 01:13:08,802
Listen, little mister.
1137
01:13:11,439 --> 01:13:13,105
If you tell on us,
1138
01:13:13,107 --> 01:13:14,473
I'll kill you.
1139
01:13:20,446 --> 01:13:21,711
Fine.
1140
01:13:26,783 --> 01:13:28,649
Jim.
1141
01:13:37,158 --> 01:13:38,757
Don't be an ass.
1142
01:13:41,428 --> 01:13:43,994
Okay, Jimbo?
(PATTING JIM'S BACK)
1143
01:13:46,098 --> 01:13:47,897
Let's go, shall we?
1144
01:14:08,953 --> 01:14:10,519
(DOOR CLOSES)
1145
01:14:15,458 --> 01:14:16,857
GIL: Ahem.
1146
01:14:17,860 --> 01:14:19,259
Come on, come on, come on!
1147
01:14:25,799 --> 01:14:27,031
(GRUNTING)
1148
01:14:32,137 --> 01:14:33,569
(GRUNTS)
1149
01:14:37,841 --> 01:14:40,374
I got 'em.
I got 'em. I got 'em.
1150
01:14:48,716 --> 01:14:50,549
(GUNSHOTS)
1151
01:16:03,723 --> 01:16:06,490
JIM: (OVER P.A.) That wasn't a store robbery.
1152
01:16:06,492 --> 01:16:08,825
That was an assassination.
1153
01:16:08,827 --> 01:16:10,893
That wasn't a clerk.
That was a wise guy.
1154
01:16:11,729 --> 01:16:13,829
How do I know?
1155
01:16:13,831 --> 01:16:17,165
I spent a little time with
the FBI's
organized crime unit.
1156
01:16:17,167 --> 01:16:19,133
I guess you could say
that I'm
intimately knowledgeable
1157
01:16:19,135 --> 01:16:21,001
with the seedy and rancorous
workings of the mob
1158
01:16:21,003 --> 01:16:23,770
in the Midwest
section of this country.
1159
01:16:23,772 --> 01:16:26,639
Let me just say, I know a gangland slaying when I see one,
1160
01:16:26,641 --> 01:16:28,307
and that's exactly what this baby is.
1161
01:16:30,277 --> 01:16:34,012
I'd look into myself personally, but I got a date tonight.
1162
01:16:42,588 --> 01:16:44,553
Attention Target shoppers.
1163
01:16:46,357 --> 01:16:48,256
(SHOTGUN BLASTS)
1164
01:16:58,066 --> 01:16:59,665
(YAWNING)
1165
01:17:32,398 --> 01:17:33,830
Jim!
1166
01:18:28,786 --> 01:18:31,353
He is so cool.
83627
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