Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,390 --> 00:00:00,900
So
2
00:00:01,230 --> 00:00:02,070
here i am
3
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living with you and.
4
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:06,280
Single again.
5
00:00:06,570 --> 00:00:08,650
Welcome to my world.
6
00:00:08,940 --> 00:00:12,610
There's more to life than
being in a relationship ladies.
7
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While you should know
that better than anyone
8
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since you've been on
your own for the last decade
9
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:17,640
Lizzie
10
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what's
11
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being honest.
12
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Men my age are looking
at girls your age who aren't
13
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looking at anything other
than their so cell phones.
14
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Mom
15
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stop making excuses
16
00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:31,560
you're afraid
17
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just admit it
18
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i am not
19
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:39,840
ever since dad left you've become this
weird single lady who does nothing but work
20
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,491
cook and watch nine
oh two want to reruns
21
00:00:42,690 --> 00:00:44,130
it's not the nineties any more
22
00:00:44,315 --> 00:00:45,240
need to get a lie you
23
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i have a life
24
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i'm just shy
25
00:00:48,030 --> 00:00:49,710
maybe you should
try online dating
26
00:00:50,190 --> 00:00:50,728
oh no
27
00:00:51,270 --> 00:00:55,350
yes it's perfect you don't even have to
leave the house unless you get a deep burst
28
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,600
i'm only old school
world where you
29
00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,105
go to the grocery store bar
30
00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:02,530
like i would notice you and.
31
00:01:02,580 --> 00:01:03,540
He'd fall in love
32
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:06,060
when was that ever your world
33
00:01:06,345 --> 00:01:06,990
just say thing
34
00:01:07,140 --> 00:01:10,020
i don't do the Internet
maybe you should
35
00:01:10,350 --> 00:01:12,180
maybe technologies the answer
36
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based sure you it is not
37
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well let's test that theory
38
00:01:16,980 --> 00:01:20,490
Sarah and i will give up
our phones for let wait what
39
00:01:20,730 --> 00:01:23,340
in return you have to sign up
40
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:26,760
for every social
media website plus
41
00:01:26,910 --> 00:01:27,990
the dating apps
42
00:01:28,230 --> 00:01:29,935
i'm not agreeing to
this you think you girls
43
00:01:29,938 --> 00:01:32,370
could last port in a day
without your cell phones
44
00:01:32,647 --> 00:01:33,647
yes.
45
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:35,550
What
46
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:39,000
people went years without
having cell phone centuries
47
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:41,740
we can do it for
a few weeks right.
48
00:01:47,906 --> 00:01:55,145
Haven't been anywhere
without a phone since
49
00:01:55,145 --> 00:02:01,000
i was born is that very
time for everything.
50
00:02:03,510 --> 00:02:03,900
So
51
00:02:04,410 --> 00:02:05,661
very high.
52
00:02:06,228 --> 00:02:06,336
I
53
00:02:06,547 --> 00:02:07,930
don't on my phone.
54
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:08,460
Well
55
00:02:08,820 --> 00:02:10,050
what do people
do twenty years ago
56
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,420
i dunno let's just go
somewhere we have been before
57
00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:13,750
okay
58
00:02:14,220 --> 00:02:15,220
but.
59
00:02:15,571 --> 00:02:16,992
We don't have GPS.
60
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,140
Why do we need GPS
that we've been there before
61
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,010
because i don't know where i'm going
i just listen to what the late he tells me
62
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,761
just drive will find it.
63
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,580
Was just a bloodshot just
64
00:02:29,972 --> 00:02:30,253
like
65
00:02:30,841 --> 00:02:31,620
that sounds like well
66
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:33,960
let's be rational
for a minute will
67
00:02:34,230 --> 00:02:34,978
it is well
68
00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:36,570
a lot like a trickier
69
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:37,710
you say
70
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:41,130
that your ex girlfriend
posted pics in her thong bikini
71
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:42,640
in her lingerie
72
00:02:42,810 --> 00:02:44,100
in next to nothing
73
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:45,090
and suddenly
74
00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:48,678
she's judging you for posting
a picture of her but yeah
75
00:02:48,992 --> 00:02:51,810
the girl once do drama will
76
00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:54,000
something she can
tweet about later
77
00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:57,729
you think she's sitting
at home crying that she
78
00:02:57,729 --> 00:03:00,780
does six thousand lakes
on a picture of her but
79
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:01,380
no
80
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:06,210
she's out there right now
shopping for her next boy toy
81
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,710
you did the right
thing to dumper.
82
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:10,711
I'll find a fucking bark
83
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,579
checks out.
84
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:37,510
As everyone is like
a zombie in here.
85
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:39,690
I just need a drink and
them configure the rest how
86
00:03:40,230 --> 00:03:41,920
can we get to your your shots.
87
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:50,860
That does he do that
without even looking.
88
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,580
Can't believe will call
that asshole real house
89
00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:55,140
yeah it's pretty bad
90
00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:55,830
but
91
00:03:56,190 --> 00:03:57,210
maybe he misses here
92
00:03:57,390 --> 00:03:57,720
does he.
93
00:03:58,530 --> 00:03:59,400
How am i supposed to know
94
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,410
i can't log on and
see what he's posting
95
00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:02,400
i can't send them some
96
00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,380
passive aggressive
comment to test him
97
00:04:04,980 --> 00:04:07,380
how did people even
exists for for the Internet
98
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,850
i don't know.
99
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:11,710
I mean can smoke.
100
00:04:12,030 --> 00:04:13,020
Since when do you smoke
101
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:14,310
since they gave up my phone.
102
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:16,650
I have substituted one
addiction for the other
103
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:17,732
once i
104
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:18,750
get my phone back
105
00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:20,410
up at smoking.
106
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:45,162
As a good i don't really smoke.
107
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,560
I'm trying to start.
108
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:53,190
I'm Jeremy
109
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,022
is he.
110
00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:56,160
A
111
00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:58,269
maybe you can help me.
112
00:04:58,470 --> 00:04:59,250
Do you know any
113
00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:01,390
good bars around here.
114
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,886
That one.
115
00:05:05,026 --> 00:05:05,610
Cool and
116
00:05:05,790 --> 00:05:07,000
this one's.
117
00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:08,500
Definitely not.
118
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,300
Jake and i'm.
119
00:05:11,490 --> 00:05:12,490
Barbara.
120
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,250
Not really a bar guy.
121
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:15,210
Yet
122
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:16,800
or drinking a beer
123
00:05:17,340 --> 00:05:18,520
at a bar.
124
00:05:19,034 --> 00:05:20,701
In a non smoker
125
00:05:20,844 --> 00:05:21,450
and you're
126
00:05:21,660 --> 00:05:23,140
smoking a cigarette.
127
00:05:26,790 --> 00:05:28,030
Phone right.
128
00:05:28,140 --> 00:05:30,160
Maybe you can
just Google for me.
129
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,790
I don't own a
130
00:05:33,570 --> 00:05:34,770
you don't own a phone
131
00:05:35,130 --> 00:05:36,790
how's that even possible
132
00:05:37,050 --> 00:05:38,009
where's your phone
133
00:05:38,340 --> 00:05:39,180
i gave it up for lent
134
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:40,810
what's your excuse.
135
00:05:41,076 --> 00:05:45,310
I don't like my life being
dictated by technology.
136
00:05:46,118 --> 00:05:47,250
You're one of those guys
137
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:48,940
pretty much.
138
00:05:51,030 --> 00:05:51,420
Look
139
00:05:51,930 --> 00:05:55,075
let me give you an example
and you can tell me if you agree
140
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:55,770
okay
141
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,800
right now my two best
friends were also do
142
00:05:59,250 --> 00:06:00,120
or that bar
143
00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:02,190
and there in the middle
of this big argument
144
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,110
because they feel they
don't listen to each other
145
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:05,787
and while they're in the
middle of this argument
146
00:06:05,787 --> 00:06:08,322
they're texting other
people on their phone.
147
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:12,510
It's like sometimes we have
our heads down so much
148
00:06:12,810 --> 00:06:14,380
that we.
149
00:06:14,910 --> 00:06:16,539
Mr Switzerland photos.
150
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,369
I
151
00:06:20,610 --> 00:06:22,380
think that i'm so ready to go
152
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:23,082
you can try to.
153
00:06:23,940 --> 00:06:24,780
You didn't even drink
154
00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:28,740
i know but i met this guy outside nice
whole dreamy and we're going to go somewhere
155
00:06:29,070 --> 00:06:33,550
so you're leaving need to go
with some guy that you just met.
156
00:06:34,505 --> 00:06:34,686
The
157
00:06:34,821 --> 00:06:35,821
day.
158
00:06:36,389 --> 00:06:37,380
I don't know when
i'm going to be home
159
00:06:37,770 --> 00:06:38,340
but i love you
160
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:40,480
and I'll see you soon.
161
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,623
Of course.
162
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:03,360
Don't forget soldiers women
are always going to play you
163
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:07,240
so you need to make
sure you play them first.
164
00:07:07,980 --> 00:07:10,170
It was only two days
into the challenge
165
00:07:10,290 --> 00:07:10,680
and i was
166
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,340
already struggling
167
00:07:12,630 --> 00:07:16,020
with no way to reach anyone
in my life instantaneously
168
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,070
i needed a distraction.
169
00:07:19,290 --> 00:07:22,420
TV binges would only
make me feel more isolated.
170
00:07:22,770 --> 00:07:27,100
All the gossip shows with stories
that i couldn't like or share on my phone.
171
00:07:27,423 --> 00:07:28,570
The books
172
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,330
books are always the
perfect escape plan.
173
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:36,690
Lizzie met a boy
174
00:07:37,204 --> 00:07:37,740
you saw her
175
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:40,110
she came home to change
he's going to go take her
176
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:41,802
to see a band and
then they're going to go
177
00:07:41,802 --> 00:07:43,890
camping they've only
been together since launch
178
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,990
i knew letting go of their cell
phones would be life-changing
179
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,609
oh yeah real life changing how's
180
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:50,950
my dating.
181
00:07:51,060 --> 00:07:52,060
Goodnight.
182
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,860
How on earth did this
make the best sellers list
183
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,310
if you're someone that
actually enjoyed this garbage
184
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,780
please get help immediately
185
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:15,570
or right me here and explain why this
wasn't the worst thing you've ever read
186
00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:16,680
p o box
187
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,620
zero seven one three los Angeles
188
00:08:19,770 --> 00:08:20,770
California.
189
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:52,170
Thank you.
190
00:08:52,859 --> 00:08:53,859
Cheers.
191
00:08:57,690 --> 00:08:59,211
I have to say i never
thought death metal
192
00:08:59,241 --> 00:09:02,020
would be my thing it
was epic right totally.
193
00:09:05,970 --> 00:09:07,870
I love you look at me.
194
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:13,271
I hate that you act like i'm
the first one who ever has.
195
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:16,960
So.
196
00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:18,930
Do you want me to
197
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:23,680
give you a ride home or i thought
we were going late night camping.
198
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:27,821
Or we could go late
night camping yeah.
199
00:09:28,590 --> 00:09:30,910
Or we could.
200
00:09:40,142 --> 00:09:40,349
Like
201
00:09:40,574 --> 00:09:41,574
is.
202
00:11:16,544 --> 00:11:20,474
Huh.
203
00:12:22,304 --> 00:12:25,093
Hm.
204
00:12:37,304 --> 00:12:38,304
Looks.
205
00:12:53,984 --> 00:12:55,660
Though.
206
00:13:06,464 --> 00:13:08,654
Hm.
207
00:13:22,364 --> 00:13:23,364
Hm.
208
00:13:24,254 --> 00:13:25,824
Slow slow.
209
00:13:50,894 --> 00:13:51,435
Crossover
210
00:13:51,643 --> 00:13:52,643
see.
211
00:14:03,524 --> 00:14:04,524
The.
212
00:14:04,904 --> 00:14:05,904
Yes.
213
00:14:08,984 --> 00:14:11,544
Oh my god yes.
214
00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:15,114
So.
215
00:14:21,134 --> 00:14:23,035
Oh yeah.
216
00:14:26,954 --> 00:14:27,974
Oh.
217
00:14:33,614 --> 00:14:35,004
Cuba rare.
218
00:14:49,484 --> 00:14:50,833
Her feel so.
219
00:14:54,195 --> 00:14:54,584
So
220
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:55,296
do it
221
00:14:55,664 --> 00:14:56,864
yeah.
222
00:14:58,214 --> 00:14:59,355
Nah.
223
00:15:03,824 --> 00:15:05,486
Look at me look at.
224
00:15:16,304 --> 00:15:17,324
Hm.
225
00:15:18,474 --> 00:15:20,501
I.
226
00:15:23,516 --> 00:15:25,272
Oh.
227
00:15:27,074 --> 00:15:31,621
Oh my god very yes yes yes yes.
228
00:15:32,954 --> 00:15:34,184
Hm
229
00:15:34,574 --> 00:15:35,574
fun.
230
00:15:38,684 --> 00:15:39,074
Like
231
00:15:39,404 --> 00:15:40,404
this.
232
00:15:46,550 --> 00:15:47,863
I.
233
00:15:53,984 --> 00:15:54,984
Hm.
234
00:15:56,384 --> 00:15:57,974
Though.
235
00:16:00,044 --> 00:16:00,914
Your body looks
236
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,094
perfect.
237
00:16:03,284 --> 00:16:04,304
Hm.
238
00:16:05,855 --> 00:16:06,855
Oh.
239
00:16:14,054 --> 00:16:15,054
Slow.
240
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,554
Oh my.
241
00:16:32,264 --> 00:16:33,264
Oh.
242
00:16:39,049 --> 00:16:41,803
Oh yes hopefully
243
00:16:41,954 --> 00:16:42,954
good.
244
00:16:43,184 --> 00:16:44,513
You're incredible.
245
00:16:47,084 --> 00:16:49,602
Oh.
246
00:17:00,734 --> 00:17:00,944
Oh
247
00:17:01,064 --> 00:17:04,694
yeah yeah yeah yeah yes yes yes.
248
00:17:23,324 --> 00:17:24,324
Chico.
249
00:17:40,514 --> 00:17:41,894
Hm.
250
00:17:53,744 --> 00:17:54,744
Phuket.
251
00:17:59,024 --> 00:18:00,024
Yeah.
252
00:18:04,191 --> 00:18:07,814
Yeah.
253
00:18:11,234 --> 00:18:12,704
Yeah.
254
00:18:17,324 --> 00:18:19,844
Oh yeah.
255
00:18:23,774 --> 00:18:24,774
Like.
256
00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:40,150
Hey.
257
00:18:41,025 --> 00:18:44,695
Yeah.
258
00:18:49,184 --> 00:18:50,354
Hm
259
00:18:50,864 --> 00:18:53,504
yeah.
260
00:19:03,824 --> 00:19:04,824
Yeah.
261
00:19:12,674 --> 00:19:13,674
Yeah.
262
00:19:15,944 --> 00:19:16,944
Yeah.
263
00:19:21,109 --> 00:19:22,694
Yeah.
264
00:19:52,844 --> 00:19:54,324
Oh my god.
265
00:19:56,294 --> 00:19:57,294
Soak.
266
00:20:07,271 --> 00:20:08,271
This.
267
00:20:18,928 --> 00:20:20,128
And.
268
00:20:28,498 --> 00:20:29,498
Yeah.
269
00:20:31,662 --> 00:20:33,326
I.
270
00:20:35,931 --> 00:20:36,931
Oh.
271
00:20:47,603 --> 00:20:48,603
My.
272
00:20:49,622 --> 00:20:50,622
Baby.
273
00:20:51,928 --> 00:20:52,928
Yeah.
274
00:20:59,068 --> 00:21:00,118
Yeah.
275
00:21:08,072 --> 00:21:10,423
Hm.
276
00:21:19,318 --> 00:21:20,318
Oh.
277
00:21:20,878 --> 00:21:21,878
Oh.
278
00:21:28,468 --> 00:21:29,468
He.
279
00:21:34,518 --> 00:21:35,518
The.
280
00:21:41,390 --> 00:21:42,747
Yeah.
281
00:22:01,019 --> 00:22:02,019
Yeah.
282
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:15,520
Yeah.
283
00:22:17,729 --> 00:22:18,988
Nah.
284
00:22:22,768 --> 00:22:24,088
Hm.
285
00:22:32,548 --> 00:22:34,195
Oh yeah.
286
00:22:36,313 --> 00:22:37,558
Ha.
287
00:22:49,805 --> 00:22:50,805
Hm.
288
00:22:59,608 --> 00:23:00,608
So.
289
00:23:09,868 --> 00:23:10,868
Fuck.
290
00:23:13,595 --> 00:23:14,144
The
291
00:23:14,246 --> 00:23:15,246
to.
292
00:23:15,688 --> 00:23:17,219
Good the.
293
00:23:22,108 --> 00:23:23,108
Fuck.
294
00:23:27,958 --> 00:23:29,228
Oh my.
295
00:23:29,728 --> 00:23:30,728
Yeah.
296
00:23:31,376 --> 00:23:33,455
Nah nah nah.
297
00:23:37,168 --> 00:23:38,168
Slow.
298
00:23:38,938 --> 00:23:40,198
Jesus.
299
00:23:47,983 --> 00:23:49,377
Hm
300
00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:50,678
good.
301
00:23:56,402 --> 00:23:59,938
Yeah.
302
00:24:01,199 --> 00:24:02,480
Have you been.
303
00:24:15,628 --> 00:24:16,628
She.
304
00:24:17,338 --> 00:24:18,338
Jeremy.
305
00:24:23,489 --> 00:24:25,498
Yeah.
306
00:24:35,398 --> 00:24:36,398
Fuck.
307
00:24:57,685 --> 00:24:59,608
Yeah.
308
00:25:10,348 --> 00:25:11,348
F.
309
00:25:15,808 --> 00:25:21,099
At your body.
310
00:25:26,248 --> 00:25:27,248
Oh.
311
00:25:35,854 --> 00:25:36,854
Oh.
312
00:25:44,218 --> 00:25:45,218
For.
313
00:25:51,268 --> 00:25:53,338
Yeah.
314
00:25:58,228 --> 00:25:59,228
Huh.
315
00:25:59,488 --> 00:26:00,488
I.
316
00:26:05,114 --> 00:26:08,501
Yeah.
317
00:26:18,208 --> 00:26:19,208
Yeah.
318
00:26:28,334 --> 00:26:29,780
You look so perfect.
319
00:26:36,067 --> 00:26:37,067
Oh.
320
00:26:38,938 --> 00:26:39,938
Wow.
321
00:26:43,208 --> 00:26:44,208
Girl.
322
00:26:47,878 --> 00:26:49,318
Oh.
323
00:26:53,518 --> 00:26:54,518
Book.
324
00:26:56,158 --> 00:26:57,748
Hm.
325
00:27:05,008 --> 00:27:07,003
Oh yeah.
326
00:27:07,408 --> 00:27:08,741
Home like.
327
00:27:09,478 --> 00:27:11,080
Just fit so perfect.
328
00:27:11,248 --> 00:27:14,938
I.
329
00:27:19,228 --> 00:27:20,228
Yeah.
330
00:27:23,428 --> 00:27:24,428
Oh.
331
00:27:25,337 --> 00:27:26,337
Yeah.
332
00:27:28,618 --> 00:27:29,618
Oh.
333
00:27:31,498 --> 00:27:32,498
Glad.
334
00:27:33,329 --> 00:27:34,828
Yeah.
335
00:27:39,628 --> 00:27:40,628
Oh.
336
00:27:41,621 --> 00:27:42,621
Hm.
337
00:27:43,548 --> 00:27:44,548
Hm.
338
00:27:45,082 --> 00:27:46,336
Hm.
339
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,080
Hm.
340
00:27:49,858 --> 00:27:50,858
Oh.
341
00:27:51,598 --> 00:27:52,598
Yeah.
342
00:27:53,636 --> 00:27:55,108
Get your baby.
343
00:27:57,778 --> 00:27:59,498
Oh my god.
344
00:28:10,927 --> 00:28:13,288
Yeah.
345
00:28:19,408 --> 00:28:20,608
Hm.
346
00:28:22,978 --> 00:28:23,455
Turn around
347
00:28:23,998 --> 00:28:24,178
me
348
00:28:24,472 --> 00:28:25,472
is.
349
00:28:30,998 --> 00:28:31,998
Yeah.
350
00:28:32,368 --> 00:28:33,388
I
351
00:28:33,718 --> 00:28:34,718
e.
352
00:28:37,221 --> 00:28:37,552
Is.
353
00:28:38,175 --> 00:28:39,175
Used.
354
00:28:40,228 --> 00:28:41,799
Oh good.
355
00:28:43,346 --> 00:28:44,468
Me for.
356
00:28:44,668 --> 00:28:45,668
It.
357
00:28:46,018 --> 00:28:46,467
Yes
358
00:28:46,779 --> 00:28:48,077
look at me.
359
00:28:50,431 --> 00:28:51,431
Okay.
360
00:28:52,247 --> 00:28:54,208
She is rather the.
361
00:28:54,688 --> 00:28:55,688
Ugh.
362
00:28:56,649 --> 00:29:04,737
It.
20714
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