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1
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:13,881
(sound of picture developing)
2
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(creepy music with whispers)
3
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(Loud beeping)
4
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(loud beeping continues)
5
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Oh Shit!
6
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Ahhh!
7
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(loud beeping continues)
8
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Come on!
9
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(cell phone rings)
10
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Fuck!
11
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(Cell phone keeps ringing) Fuck, fuckety, fuck!
12
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(cell phone ringing)
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(ringing stops) No no no no no!
14
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(little beep from ankle monitor)
15
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(sound of beeping returns)
16
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(beeping stops)
17
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(sound of beeping returns)
18
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(beeping stops)
19
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(ominous music)
20
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(sound of beeping returns)
21
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No no no no!!
22
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What the F...?
23
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(beeping continues)
24
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(ominous scary music)
25
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(door bell sound)
26
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Hello.
27
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I'm looking for Evan Johnson.
28
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Is he home?
29
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Yes.
30
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Yes he's home or yes he's you?
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Yes.
32
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It's confusing if you just say yes.
33
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I'm him.
34
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It's me.
35
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Mr. Johnson
36
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I was sent a notification from the Department of Corrections.
37
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You failed to respond to a breathalyzer.
38
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Yeah, I was sleeping when it went off.
39
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And a phone call?
40
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My phone is upstairs so...
41
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Oh...
42
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I...
43
00:04:01,651 --> 00:04:02,610
It's all good man.
44
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You alone in there?
45
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I just fell but...
46
00:04:04,862 --> 00:04:06,280
Yeah, it's just me.
47
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Actually... Sir.
48
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The breathalyzer machine has been acting up.
49
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Do you wanna come in and check it out?
50
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You're new.
51
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You renting this house?
52
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It's one of the suggested DOC rentals.
53
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Came furnished.
54
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I have to stay in Dane County cause that's where I caught my case.
55
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Makes sense.
56
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You didn't strike me as the French lace type.
57
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That's Swiss lace though.
58
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I'm a Swiss lace type.
59
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(laughing)
60
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No for real though.
61
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I have an Etsy account. People pay bank for Swiss lace.
62
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It's softer against the skin.
63
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Where's the machine?
64
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Ah, it keeps flashing this warning sign?
65
00:05:01,419 --> 00:05:03,421
Yeah, it does that
66
00:05:03,629 --> 00:05:05,756
when it senses something is off.
67
00:05:08,134 --> 00:05:10,428
These machines are very sensitive.
68
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I have never seen this before?
69
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Pardon me.
70
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,318
Ah!
71
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That's wild man, I didn't realize it was taking real pictures.
72
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Thought it was just sending digital shit into the ether.
73
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You have an old machine.
74
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Came with the house.
75
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,539
The new ones are digital. You should as for a trade in.
76
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I told the last guy.
77
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The last guy?
78
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These ones have issues.
79
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Issues?
80
00:05:43,502 --> 00:05:45,379
Yeah, they keep loosing people.
81
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I probably shouldn't tell you that.
82
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Don't go getting any ideas.
83
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:55,890
You know the Jail Diversion Program is just two strikes and you're out.
84
00:05:55,973 --> 00:05:59,226
So basically, this is strike one.
85
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:03,773
If you don't respond to the machine the DOC will call.
86
00:06:03,773 --> 00:06:06,525
If you don't answer, you will most likely
87
00:06:06,525 --> 00:06:10,988
spend the rest of your sentence in the Dane County jail with additional time.
88
00:06:11,072 --> 00:06:12,448
We clear?
89
00:06:13,824 --> 00:06:14,950
Yup!
90
00:06:19,622 --> 00:06:21,290
Can I have this?
91
00:06:21,999 --> 00:06:24,001
I've always wanted one.
92
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Sure?
93
00:06:28,798 --> 00:06:30,800
Wow!
94
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(loud laugh)
95
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(beeping)
96
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:45,898
Oh, and the other person in the picture should get registered.
97
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,275
Nobody else is here with me.
98
00:06:48,317 --> 00:06:53,155
Well, since "nobody" is in every picture ...
99
00:06:54,073 --> 00:06:56,909
Just get him registered. Then we'll be all good.
100
00:07:03,082 --> 00:07:05,292
Hope we don't meet again.
101
00:07:05,501 --> 00:07:07,294
Good luck.
102
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:25,604
(phone ring)
103
00:07:26,188 --> 00:07:29,066
Yo, fucking sheriff came and took my sticker off my box!
104
00:07:29,108 --> 00:07:31,152
Evan! Why was the sheriff there?!
105
00:07:31,235 --> 00:07:33,237
All good, the machine was just acting up so...
106
00:07:33,279 --> 00:07:36,740
I'm gonna need you to be less of a mess, it's like you want to be in jail.
107
00:07:36,782 --> 00:07:39,285
I'm to soft for jail, I'm giving Bed Bath & Beyond.
108
00:07:39,285 --> 00:07:42,204
I'm giving Down Pillow top. I'm giving Popeyes Biscuit.
109
00:07:42,204 --> 00:07:44,790
Which is why I need you to come stay with me...
110
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:47,835
Oh no no no, I'm not staying there, don't be weird.
111
00:07:47,877 --> 00:07:52,006
I'm giving full time employment. I'm giving 401K. I'm giving health insurance.
112
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(beeping starts)
113
00:07:53,757 --> 00:07:55,134
What the fuck?
114
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Evan?
115
00:07:56,552 --> 00:07:58,053
Where is it?
116
00:07:58,095 --> 00:08:00,097
It was just here?
117
00:08:00,097 --> 00:08:00,931
Where is it?
118
00:08:00,973 --> 00:08:03,225
Evan, All I'm hear are a bunch of complaints.
119
00:08:03,267 --> 00:08:05,644
When all I should be hearing are a bunch of thanks.
120
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:09,106
Like, thank you wonderful sister for finding me a place to live.
121
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,692
Shut up, I can't fins the machine!
122
00:08:11,734 --> 00:08:13,068
Excuse me!
123
00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:15,154
You need to make that damn lace and stop selling weed!
124
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,656
Nobody told you to get a degree in costume design!
125
00:08:17,781 --> 00:08:19,783
(beeping upstairs)
126
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(beeping continues upstairs)
127
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(beeping continues)
128
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Fucker!
129
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(beeping continues)
130
00:08:42,223 --> 00:08:43,641
What the?
131
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(beeping starts again)
132
00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:06,372
(beeping starts again)
133
00:09:20,219 --> 00:09:22,429
(whispering voices)
134
00:09:26,392 --> 00:09:28,394
(ankle monitor beeps)
135
00:09:36,485 --> 00:09:38,487
(machine beeping continues)
136
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,631
(loud scream)
137
00:10:01,218 --> 00:10:03,220
(creepy music)
138
00:10:07,391 --> 00:10:09,393
(whispers join the creepy music)
9083
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