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1
00:00:03,373 --> 00:00:05,041
What are you doing?
2
00:00:05,041 --> 00:00:06,501
Well, Larry
called earlier.
3
00:00:06,501 --> 00:00:09,420
He’s all uptight about
the Blakely account.
4
00:00:09,420 --> 00:00:12,131
I told him I’d
rough out some ideas
5
00:00:12,131 --> 00:00:13,549
and mail ’em in
tomorrow.
6
00:00:13,549 --> 00:00:15,134
Doesn’t he know
you’re on vacation?
7
00:00:15,134 --> 00:00:17,929
Oh, he knows.
But he doesn’t care.
8
00:00:17,929 --> 00:00:20,181
Oh.
Besides,
9
00:00:20,181 --> 00:00:21,557
if I do
this preliminary work,
10
00:00:21,557 --> 00:00:23,142
it’ll keep him
from coming up here.
11
00:00:23,142 --> 00:00:25,061
Hm. Some vacation.
12
00:00:25,061 --> 00:00:26,271
You’re stuck here working,
13
00:00:26,271 --> 00:00:27,939
and I’m off to a meeting.
14
00:00:27,939 --> 00:00:29,065
What’s on the agenda?
15
00:00:29,065 --> 00:00:30,650
Well, uh, tonight
16
00:00:30,650 --> 00:00:33,194
we install
the new resident witch.
17
00:00:33,194 --> 00:00:34,487
Resident witch?
18
00:00:34,487 --> 00:00:36,406
Yes. We’ve had one living here
19
00:00:36,406 --> 00:00:37,699
in Salem incognito
20
00:00:37,699 --> 00:00:39,450
ever since
the witch-hunts of 1692,
21
00:00:39,450 --> 00:00:42,120
just to make sure
it never happens again.
22
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,788
You know...
23
00:00:43,788 --> 00:00:45,832
some of you witches
aren’t half bad.
24
00:00:45,832 --> 00:00:48,251
[CHUCKLES]
25
00:00:48,251 --> 00:00:51,212
Why don’t we forget about
work and conventions?
26
00:00:51,212 --> 00:00:53,423
Let’s think of this
as a second honeymoon.
27
00:00:55,591 --> 00:00:57,010
Mm.
28
00:00:57,010 --> 00:00:58,261
I can get out
of the meeting.
29
00:00:58,261 --> 00:00:59,554
I’ll tell them
I came down with
30
00:00:59,554 --> 00:01:01,556
a very bad case
of love.
31
00:01:01,556 --> 00:01:03,599
ENDORA:
As chairlady of the meeting,
32
00:01:03,599 --> 00:01:07,145
I would not consider it
a proper excuse.
33
00:01:09,397 --> 00:01:11,441
Why don’t you
ever knock, Endora?
34
00:01:11,441 --> 00:01:13,234
And why don’t
you ever
35
00:01:13,234 --> 00:01:14,610
knock it off?
36
00:01:14,610 --> 00:01:17,739
Come along, Samantha.
We’ll be late.
37
00:01:17,739 --> 00:01:20,074
I’ll try not to wake you up
when I get back.
38
00:01:20,074 --> 00:01:22,118
Uh, you’d better
wake me up...
39
00:01:22,118 --> 00:01:23,578
or I’ll never
forgive you.
40
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,498
[♪♪]
41
00:01:28,666 --> 00:01:30,293
[APPLAUSE]
42
00:01:32,754 --> 00:01:35,298
After a short recess...
43
00:01:35,298 --> 00:01:37,050
we’ll deal with
the appointment
44
00:01:37,050 --> 00:01:39,302
of the new resident
witch of Salem.
45
00:01:39,302 --> 00:01:42,847
As you well know,
this office was created
46
00:01:42,847 --> 00:01:46,309
out of the wisdom of
the high priestess, Hepzibah...
47
00:01:46,309 --> 00:01:49,854
in the year 1692...
48
00:01:49,854 --> 00:01:52,190
dedicated to protect
49
00:01:52,190 --> 00:01:54,484
the image of the witch.
50
00:01:54,484 --> 00:01:58,488
And if necessary,
through the use of witchcraft,
51
00:01:58,488 --> 00:02:00,281
to protect
those innocent people
52
00:02:00,281 --> 00:02:01,991
who may be accused
as witches.
53
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:05,828
As well as to protect
against themselves...
54
00:02:05,828 --> 00:02:10,666
those mortals
so foolish as to cry:
55
00:02:10,666 --> 00:02:12,585
"Witch!"
56
00:02:12,585 --> 00:02:14,003
[APPLAUSE]
57
00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:15,713
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
58
00:02:19,509 --> 00:02:22,345
This coven is
now in recess.
59
00:02:22,345 --> 00:02:23,805
[♪♪]
60
00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:27,308
WOMAN:
I’m going to get
a little bit of food.
61
00:02:27,308 --> 00:02:28,935
[LIQUID BUBBLING]
62
00:02:30,395 --> 00:02:32,397
[GASPS]
MAN: Guess who.
63
00:02:32,397 --> 00:02:34,899
Ha-ha. Waldo.
Who else?
64
00:02:34,899 --> 00:02:36,150
How did you guess?
65
00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:37,693
The wart on
your little finger.
66
00:02:37,693 --> 00:02:40,029
From the time
you turned me into a frog
67
00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:41,239
when we were children.
68
00:02:41,239 --> 00:02:42,657
I’m sorry it
never went away.
69
00:02:42,657 --> 00:02:43,825
I’m not.
70
00:02:43,825 --> 00:02:46,494
This foolish thing
reminds me of you.
71
00:02:46,494 --> 00:02:47,870
[CHUCKLES]
Oh.
[CHUCKLES]
72
00:02:47,870 --> 00:02:49,205
Waldo. Grow up.
73
00:02:49,205 --> 00:02:51,499
I’m happily married with
two beautiful children.
74
00:02:51,499 --> 00:02:54,001
Yeah, but to a mortal.
That doesn’t count.
75
00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:56,045
Silly.
Oh, excuse me.
76
00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:57,213
I-I’m needed.
77
00:02:57,213 --> 00:02:59,215
[♪♪]
78
00:02:59,215 --> 00:03:00,758
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
79
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:07,223
[♪♪]
80
00:03:12,353 --> 00:03:14,856
Fly into my nest
My love
81
00:03:14,856 --> 00:03:18,901
Though you may be second best
My love
82
00:03:18,901 --> 00:03:22,405
Though you’re only make-believe
My love
83
00:03:22,405 --> 00:03:25,366
At least you’re mine this eve
My love
84
00:03:28,578 --> 00:03:31,372
Wasn’t very nice of her
telling me to grow up.
85
00:03:31,372 --> 00:03:34,667
But, Waldo,
my darling, my love,
86
00:03:34,667 --> 00:03:37,712
that’s the thing
I adore about you:
87
00:03:37,712 --> 00:03:39,589
your boyish
quality.
88
00:03:39,589 --> 00:03:41,048
That’s better.
89
00:03:41,048 --> 00:03:42,383
I love you,
Waldo.
90
00:03:42,383 --> 00:03:43,926
Do you
love me?
91
00:03:43,926 --> 00:03:46,345
Do I love thee?
92
00:03:47,805 --> 00:03:49,098
Let me count the ways.
93
00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:51,350
Let me count
the ways.
94
00:03:51,350 --> 00:03:52,894
One, like
some kind of nut.
95
00:03:52,894 --> 00:03:54,770
Two, like a case of
arrested development.
96
00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:56,189
Mother,
you’re intruding.
97
00:03:56,189 --> 00:03:57,398
On a what?
On a nothing.
98
00:03:57,398 --> 00:03:58,900
On a figment
of your imagination.
99
00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:01,569
It’s my figment.
Please don’t interfere.
100
00:04:01,569 --> 00:04:02,904
She’s air, Waldo.
101
00:04:02,904 --> 00:04:05,823
You make her up in
that sick brain of yours.
102
00:04:05,823 --> 00:04:09,619
All these centuries,
pining over one skinny witch.
103
00:04:09,619 --> 00:04:11,954
I have a right
to lead my own life.
104
00:04:11,954 --> 00:04:13,122
Then lead it.
105
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,790
Do something.
106
00:04:14,790 --> 00:04:16,292
I will.
107
00:04:17,168 --> 00:04:18,628
I promise you.
108
00:04:21,881 --> 00:04:23,966
[♪♪]
109
00:04:28,221 --> 00:04:31,140
[NARRATOR READING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]
110
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:33,059
[♪♪]
111
00:05:09,470 --> 00:05:12,598
[♪♪]
112
00:05:16,519 --> 00:05:19,105
[♪♪]
113
00:05:20,481 --> 00:05:22,024
Sweetheart?
114
00:05:23,526 --> 00:05:25,111
Has room service
come yet?
115
00:05:25,111 --> 00:05:26,571
No, not yet.
116
00:05:26,571 --> 00:05:28,614
Oh, dear. I’m afraid
I’m only gonna have time
117
00:05:28,614 --> 00:05:29,865
for a cup of coffee.
118
00:05:29,865 --> 00:05:32,410
I thought the witching hour
started at midnight.
119
00:05:32,410 --> 00:05:34,287
Yes, well, huh,
Mother put me
120
00:05:34,287 --> 00:05:35,955
on the Ways and Means
Committee.
121
00:05:35,955 --> 00:05:37,540
She’s the chairman.
122
00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:39,458
If she’s the chairman,
it should be called
123
00:05:39,458 --> 00:05:41,377
the Ways to be Mean
Committee.
124
00:05:42,461 --> 00:05:44,463
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
MAN: Room service!
125
00:05:44,463 --> 00:05:45,673
Come in.
126
00:05:45,673 --> 00:05:47,133
[♪♪]
[DOOR OPENS]
127
00:05:49,343 --> 00:05:51,178
Now, you certainly
took your time.
128
00:05:51,178 --> 00:05:53,389
You don’t like it, go back
where you came from.
129
00:05:54,974 --> 00:05:56,225
[CHUCKLES]
130
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,227
I tipped the waiter
to let me do it.
131
00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,937
Ha-ha. Funny, huh?
132
00:05:59,937 --> 00:06:02,440
[LAUGHING]
133
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,150
[LAUGHTER SLOWS
AWKWARDLY]
134
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:07,862
I’ll let you know in a minute.
135
00:06:07,862 --> 00:06:09,071
What are you doing here?
136
00:06:09,071 --> 00:06:10,615
Well, knowing that
you’d be anxious
137
00:06:10,615 --> 00:06:12,950
to show me your progress
on the Blakely account,
138
00:06:12,950 --> 00:06:14,493
I gladly sacrificed
my time
139
00:06:14,493 --> 00:06:15,995
to come up here
to see you.
140
00:06:15,995 --> 00:06:17,496
But I thought we agreed
yesterday
141
00:06:17,496 --> 00:06:18,914
that you weren’t coming up.
142
00:06:18,914 --> 00:06:20,166
That was yesterday.
143
00:06:20,166 --> 00:06:22,043
We can’t keep
living in the past.
144
00:06:22,043 --> 00:06:24,587
I-I don’t quite follow that.
145
00:06:24,587 --> 00:06:26,422
What he means is
we can’t keep living
146
00:06:26,422 --> 00:06:28,049
in the past because
he’s too busy
147
00:06:28,049 --> 00:06:29,550
bothering us in the present.
148
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,637
Now, here are the roughs
of my presentation.
149
00:06:32,637 --> 00:06:34,388
Take them back
with my blessings.
150
00:06:34,388 --> 00:06:37,016
Now, don’t think I don’t
appreciate this,
151
00:06:37,016 --> 00:06:38,559
but who can do
a better selling-job
152
00:06:38,559 --> 00:06:40,978
than the man
who created these gems?
153
00:06:40,978 --> 00:06:42,313
Sorry.
154
00:06:42,313 --> 00:06:44,065
What’s wrong with
picking up a fat bonus
155
00:06:44,065 --> 00:06:45,816
while you’re on vacation?
156
00:06:45,816 --> 00:06:47,151
Blakely digs you.
157
00:06:47,151 --> 00:06:49,195
He likes your kind of pizzazz.
158
00:06:49,195 --> 00:06:51,072
I’m all pizzazzed out.
159
00:06:51,072 --> 00:06:52,823
That’s why I’m on vacation.
160
00:06:52,823 --> 00:06:54,867
Sweetheart, if you’d
really like
161
00:06:54,867 --> 00:06:57,495
to go back for just a day
or two, I wouldn’t mind.
162
00:06:57,495 --> 00:07:00,164
It’s that kind of
loyalty that makes me
163
00:07:00,164 --> 00:07:01,540
proud to be an American.
164
00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:02,958
Ah, you--
165
00:07:02,958 --> 00:07:05,378
You fellas figure it out.
I have some family business.
166
00:07:05,378 --> 00:07:08,214
Now, I’ll meet you back here
at 1:00 for lunch, okay?
167
00:07:08,214 --> 00:07:10,216
Bye-bye, Larry.
Bye, Sam.
168
00:07:11,258 --> 00:07:12,718
How about it,
friend?
169
00:07:14,053 --> 00:07:15,429
Oh, aren’t you gonna
eat anything
170
00:07:15,429 --> 00:07:16,931
after all the trouble
I went to?
171
00:07:16,931 --> 00:07:18,265
Nope.
172
00:07:18,265 --> 00:07:20,017
I’m off to see
the sights of Salem.
173
00:07:20,017 --> 00:07:21,477
Now, that’s what I mean.
174
00:07:21,477 --> 00:07:23,854
Even the way you said that,
it’s got a ring to it.
175
00:07:23,854 --> 00:07:26,649
Just a couple of days, Darrin.
For crying out--
176
00:07:26,649 --> 00:07:28,567
DARRIN:
You know, I’ve been
learning a lot
177
00:07:28,567 --> 00:07:30,069
about early American
history.
178
00:07:30,069 --> 00:07:31,529
Now, isn’t it
fascinating
179
00:07:31,529 --> 00:07:33,280
that one of Nathaniel
Hawthorne’s ancestors
180
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:36,367
actually presided at
the Salem witchcraft trials?
181
00:07:36,367 --> 00:07:38,119
Speaking of witchcraft,
182
00:07:38,119 --> 00:07:40,913
that’s what it’s going to take
to save the Blakely account.
183
00:07:40,913 --> 00:07:42,415
[CAMERA CLICKS]
184
00:07:42,415 --> 00:07:43,749
DARRIN:
Get over there.
185
00:07:43,749 --> 00:07:45,376
I’ll take your picture
with Roger Conant.
186
00:07:45,376 --> 00:07:47,169
He led one of
the first groups
187
00:07:47,169 --> 00:07:49,338
to settle in Salem
in 1626.
188
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:51,590
That old boy
goes way back.
189
00:07:51,590 --> 00:07:53,467
What about
our friendship?
190
00:07:53,467 --> 00:07:55,219
That goes
way back too.
191
00:07:55,219 --> 00:07:56,887
Why don’t you
think about that?
192
00:07:56,887 --> 00:07:59,807
[♪♪]
193
00:07:59,807 --> 00:08:01,600
[SEAGULLS CAWING]
194
00:08:02,977 --> 00:08:04,311
Go on. Take it.
195
00:08:04,311 --> 00:08:05,730
You can call it,
196
00:08:05,730 --> 00:08:09,150
"Man Begging in Front of
House of Seven Gables."
197
00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:10,443
A half day.
198
00:08:10,443 --> 00:08:12,820
Come back for
one half day.
199
00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:14,029
No.
200
00:08:14,029 --> 00:08:16,490
This is my first
vacation in four years,
201
00:08:16,490 --> 00:08:18,242
and you’re not gonna
bully me out of it
202
00:08:18,242 --> 00:08:19,994
or wheedle me
out of it.
203
00:08:19,994 --> 00:08:21,287
But now I mean it, Larry.
204
00:08:21,287 --> 00:08:23,330
I am staying
right here in Salem.
205
00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:25,291
Period. End of discussion.
206
00:08:25,291 --> 00:08:27,418
Darrin, let’s not
beat around the bush.
207
00:08:27,418 --> 00:08:29,628
I want a definite
answer.
208
00:08:29,628 --> 00:08:32,631
If you’ll excuse me,
I’m gonna buy some more film.
209
00:08:32,631 --> 00:08:34,091
Fine.
210
00:08:34,091 --> 00:08:36,343
I’ll be waiting
patiently.
211
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,227
[♪♪]
212
00:08:52,777 --> 00:08:54,612
FANTASY SAMANTHA:
I love you, Waldo.
213
00:08:54,612 --> 00:08:57,156
I love you more than
life itself.
214
00:08:58,324 --> 00:09:00,117
Tell me more.
215
00:09:00,117 --> 00:09:02,953
Don’t think that I haven’t
paid the price in loneliness.
216
00:09:02,953 --> 00:09:05,414
WALDO:
Perhaps we shouldn’t
be meeting like this.
217
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:07,249
We shouldn’t?
218
00:09:07,249 --> 00:09:10,002
But our lives are
full of "shouldn’ts."
219
00:09:10,002 --> 00:09:12,296
Can a star
stop twinkling?
220
00:09:12,296 --> 00:09:14,548
Can a bird
stop singing?
221
00:09:16,675 --> 00:09:18,177
Oh!
222
00:09:19,053 --> 00:09:20,387
I’m sorry.
223
00:09:21,263 --> 00:09:22,723
Where are you going?
224
00:09:22,723 --> 00:09:24,809
There’s supposed to be
a grape arbor through there.
225
00:09:24,809 --> 00:09:26,268
Well, they’re
out of season.
226
00:09:26,268 --> 00:09:28,687
Uh, ju-- Just a lot
of naked vines.
227
00:09:28,687 --> 00:09:30,189
Let’s get out of here.
Uh--
228
00:09:30,189 --> 00:09:32,149
Boy, you’re really
upset, aren’t you?
229
00:09:32,149 --> 00:09:33,484
Upset? Me?
230
00:09:33,484 --> 00:09:35,361
Ha-ha.
About what?
231
00:09:35,361 --> 00:09:38,656
About my refusing to help out
with the Blakely account.
232
00:09:38,656 --> 00:09:41,867
I’m sorry I made such
a federal case out of it.
233
00:09:41,867 --> 00:09:43,077
[SIGHS]
234
00:09:43,077 --> 00:09:45,287
I’ll go back if
it’s that important.
235
00:09:45,287 --> 00:09:47,164
You will not.
236
00:09:47,164 --> 00:09:48,874
You stick to
your guns, boy.
237
00:09:48,874 --> 00:09:50,960
You haven’t had
a vacation in four years,
238
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,504
and you’re not gonna
let me bully you out of it
239
00:09:53,504 --> 00:09:55,256
or wheedle you
out of it.
240
00:09:55,256 --> 00:09:57,466
You’re staying
right here in Salem...
241
00:09:57,466 --> 00:09:58,884
with Samantha.
242
00:09:58,884 --> 00:10:00,302
And furthermore...
243
00:10:00,302 --> 00:10:05,474
Perhaps if I met her husband
and learned to hate him...
244
00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:07,643
I could force myself
to get rid of him.
245
00:10:08,561 --> 00:10:11,063
[UPTEMPO LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING]
246
00:10:11,063 --> 00:10:12,231
LARRY:
Believe me, Darrin,
247
00:10:12,231 --> 00:10:13,649
I can handle
the Blakely account.
248
00:10:13,649 --> 00:10:16,235
You don’t have to
come back to New York.
249
00:10:16,235 --> 00:10:17,528
I wonder what’s
keeping Sam.
250
00:10:17,528 --> 00:10:19,071
Well, how should I know?
251
00:10:19,071 --> 00:10:20,322
I mean, uh...
252
00:10:20,322 --> 00:10:21,740
why’d you ask me that?
253
00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:23,409
It was just
a rhetorical question.
254
00:10:23,409 --> 00:10:25,077
I-I didn’t expect an answer.
255
00:10:25,077 --> 00:10:26,745
Ah, here she is.
256
00:10:26,745 --> 00:10:28,163
Hi, sweetheart.
Sorry I’m late.
257
00:10:28,163 --> 00:10:29,373
Mwah.
258
00:10:29,373 --> 00:10:31,458
Forgive me, Larry.
I’ll try.
259
00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:33,252
Another martini,
please.
260
00:10:33,252 --> 00:10:36,422
Oh. Shopping in
this town is impossible.
261
00:10:36,422 --> 00:10:38,465
I thought you were
visiting relatives.
262
00:10:38,465 --> 00:10:41,176
That’s why I was
visiting relatives.
263
00:10:41,176 --> 00:10:42,928
Talk, talk, talk.
264
00:10:42,928 --> 00:10:44,763
Oh, I am
ravenous.
265
00:10:44,763 --> 00:10:47,266
Did you do a lot of sightseeing?
266
00:10:47,266 --> 00:10:48,350
Enough.
267
00:10:48,350 --> 00:10:50,102
More than enough.
268
00:10:50,102 --> 00:10:51,353
What did you see?
269
00:10:51,353 --> 00:10:52,730
What did I see?
270
00:10:54,356 --> 00:10:57,234
Well, what do you see
when you sightsee?
271
00:10:57,234 --> 00:10:58,736
Sights.
272
00:10:58,736 --> 00:11:00,070
Oh. Yeah, well--
273
00:11:00,070 --> 00:11:01,572
WALDO:
Hello, Samantha.
274
00:11:01,572 --> 00:11:03,657
[COUGHS]
Oh. Waldo.
275
00:11:03,657 --> 00:11:05,784
Uh, Waldo, I’d like you
to meet my husband.
276
00:11:05,784 --> 00:11:07,411
This is Darrin.
How do you do?
277
00:11:07,411 --> 00:11:09,622
This is Larry Tate.
How do you do?
278
00:11:11,749 --> 00:11:13,626
I’ve heard so much
about you, Darrin.
279
00:11:13,626 --> 00:11:16,795
May I say that you are
a very, very lucky man.
280
00:11:16,795 --> 00:11:19,214
Oh, Waldo and I
are old friends.
281
00:11:19,214 --> 00:11:22,009
We practically
grew up together.
282
00:11:22,009 --> 00:11:23,719
Like brother and sister.
283
00:11:23,719 --> 00:11:25,012
[COUGHING]
284
00:11:28,349 --> 00:11:29,642
I’m sorry.
285
00:11:29,642 --> 00:11:31,685
It just went down
the wrong way.
286
00:11:33,228 --> 00:11:35,481
Waldo, if you don’t mind,
287
00:11:35,481 --> 00:11:37,775
we were just about
to order lunch.
288
00:11:37,775 --> 00:11:39,735
Splendid.
I’m famished.
289
00:11:40,861 --> 00:11:41,987
Well...
290
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:44,990
isn’t this cozy?
291
00:11:47,409 --> 00:11:49,328
If you’ll excuse me.
292
00:11:50,245 --> 00:11:51,830
I don’t feel
very well.
293
00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:54,500
I’m going up to
my room and lie down.
294
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,877
Oh, I-I’m sorry, Larry.
295
00:11:56,877 --> 00:11:58,253
Anything I can do?
296
00:11:58,253 --> 00:12:00,381
I certainly hope so.
297
00:12:07,846 --> 00:12:09,348
What’s the matter with him?
298
00:12:09,348 --> 00:12:12,685
I don’t know. He’s just
a bundle of nerves.
299
00:12:15,187 --> 00:12:16,772
S-sweetheart...
300
00:12:16,772 --> 00:12:19,108
maybe you should go up
and see if he’s all right.
301
00:12:19,108 --> 00:12:21,276
Yeah,
I guess so.
302
00:12:21,276 --> 00:12:22,945
Excuse me.
303
00:12:27,116 --> 00:12:28,534
[IRRITATED]
Waldo.
304
00:12:28,534 --> 00:12:30,703
What’s the big idea,
barging in?
305
00:12:30,703 --> 00:12:32,121
[SIGHS]
I just wanted to
306
00:12:32,121 --> 00:12:34,164
meet your husband,
see what you saw in him.
307
00:12:34,164 --> 00:12:36,041
Now that you’ve met him?
308
00:12:36,041 --> 00:12:37,626
What do you see in him?
309
00:12:38,544 --> 00:12:41,672
Tsk. Honestly.
310
00:12:41,672 --> 00:12:43,507
[♪♪]
[GROANS]
311
00:12:43,507 --> 00:12:45,551
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
312
00:12:45,551 --> 00:12:46,969
Who is it?
313
00:12:46,969 --> 00:12:48,470
It’s Darrin.
314
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,223
Darrin, what are you
doing up here?
315
00:12:51,223 --> 00:12:54,351
You should be downstairs
with them eating your lunch.
316
00:12:54,351 --> 00:12:55,436
What for?
317
00:12:55,436 --> 00:12:56,895
Well, I-- I--
318
00:12:56,895 --> 00:12:59,606
I, uh-- Well, if you
don’t, a stranger’s
319
00:12:59,606 --> 00:13:01,775
going to have to
pick up our check.
320
00:13:01,775 --> 00:13:03,652
Larry.
321
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:05,904
What’s
bothering you?
322
00:13:05,904 --> 00:13:07,573
Bothering me?
Nothing’s bothering me.
323
00:13:07,573 --> 00:13:09,825
It’s what’s bothering you
that’s bothering me.
324
00:13:09,825 --> 00:13:11,493
You’re not
making sense.
325
00:13:11,493 --> 00:13:15,914
Okay. Then here it is
in a nutshell.
326
00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:19,710
Yes?
327
00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:21,420
I don’t want to get involved.
328
00:13:23,922 --> 00:13:25,716
In what?
329
00:13:25,716 --> 00:13:28,260
Well, let’s put it
another way.
330
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:30,304
If Sam, for example,
331
00:13:30,304 --> 00:13:31,764
happened to run into
an old friend
332
00:13:31,764 --> 00:13:33,974
like Waldo,
for example,
333
00:13:33,974 --> 00:13:37,102
at the House of Seven Gables,
for example,
334
00:13:37,102 --> 00:13:40,773
that doesn’t necessarily mean
what you think it means.
335
00:13:40,773 --> 00:13:42,649
When did you
see them there?
336
00:13:42,649 --> 00:13:44,276
When we were
sightseeing.
337
00:13:44,276 --> 00:13:46,111
On the other hand,
338
00:13:46,111 --> 00:13:48,614
it could have been somebody
that looked like her.
339
00:13:48,614 --> 00:13:50,115
Why didn’t I think
of that before?
340
00:13:50,115 --> 00:13:51,617
It was somebody
that looked like her.
341
00:13:51,617 --> 00:13:53,035
The light was bad,
342
00:13:53,035 --> 00:13:56,080
and I didn’t see
what I thought I saw.
343
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:59,291
So forget the whole thing.
Go down, enjoy your lunch.
344
00:13:59,291 --> 00:14:00,334
[SIGHS]
345
00:14:00,334 --> 00:14:02,294
Where you going?
346
00:14:02,294 --> 00:14:05,380
I’m sure there’s
a simple explanation
347
00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:06,965
to whatever you saw...
348
00:14:06,965 --> 00:14:08,509
so I’m gonna
take your advice
349
00:14:08,509 --> 00:14:09,927
and finish my lunch.
350
00:14:09,927 --> 00:14:11,220
[♪♪]
351
00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:12,930
[DOOR CLOSES]
352
00:14:17,476 --> 00:14:19,853
[♪♪]
353
00:14:19,853 --> 00:14:21,146
Are you ready
for lunch?
354
00:14:21,146 --> 00:14:23,649
Waldo, I can’t
have lunch with you.
355
00:14:23,649 --> 00:14:26,151
I really should
go upstairs.
356
00:14:26,151 --> 00:14:28,487
And remember,
none of your tricks.
357
00:14:28,487 --> 00:14:31,115
My mother won’t like it,
but I promise you, Samantha,
358
00:14:31,115 --> 00:14:32,825
none of my tricks.
359
00:14:32,825 --> 00:14:34,576
Thank you. Excuse me.
360
00:14:36,912 --> 00:14:38,497
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
361
00:14:48,715 --> 00:14:50,592
Waiter, two more
of the same, please.
362
00:14:57,516 --> 00:15:00,018
[♪♪]
363
00:15:05,566 --> 00:15:06,859
So...
364
00:15:06,859 --> 00:15:09,444
her husband is
decent and loving.
365
00:15:09,444 --> 00:15:10,487
What about me?
366
00:15:10,487 --> 00:15:14,283
You are intelligent
and sensitive
367
00:15:14,283 --> 00:15:15,325
and vibrant.
368
00:15:15,325 --> 00:15:17,870
That’s much better
than being
369
00:15:17,870 --> 00:15:20,080
decent and loving.
370
00:15:21,206 --> 00:15:24,042
Then shall we away
to our rendezvous?
371
00:15:24,042 --> 00:15:26,003
You’re not
"awaying" anyplace.
372
00:15:26,003 --> 00:15:27,379
I want a full
explanation of
373
00:15:27,379 --> 00:15:29,464
what’s going on here,
or I’m gonna bust--
374
00:15:29,464 --> 00:15:31,049
Oh, stop crowing.
375
00:15:31,049 --> 00:15:32,259
I’m sorry, Samantha,
376
00:15:32,259 --> 00:15:34,261
but I do
detest violence.
377
00:15:34,261 --> 00:15:35,721
You had to
protect yourself.
378
00:15:35,721 --> 00:15:37,431
[CROW CAWING]
379
00:15:40,517 --> 00:15:42,311
That does it. I quit.
380
00:15:43,937 --> 00:15:47,399
But, Larry, if Darrin left
your room five minutes ago,
381
00:15:47,399 --> 00:15:48,692
where did he go?
382
00:15:48,692 --> 00:15:49,943
He’s not in our room.
383
00:15:49,943 --> 00:15:52,196
Well, maybe it’s just as well.
384
00:15:52,196 --> 00:15:54,364
Ah, he wasn’t
very hungry anyway.
385
00:15:54,364 --> 00:15:56,366
What?
Uh, nothing.
386
00:15:56,366 --> 00:15:58,577
Larry, how are you
feeling?
387
00:15:58,577 --> 00:16:00,954
Oh, my-- My throat’s still
bothering me a little.
388
00:16:00,954 --> 00:16:02,247
But, uh...
389
00:16:02,247 --> 00:16:03,832
don’t worry
about me, Sam.
390
00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,584
I’ll be all right.
391
00:16:05,584 --> 00:16:07,669
Well, is there anything
I can do to help?
392
00:16:08,921 --> 00:16:12,007
Just, uh, be good
to each other.
393
00:16:13,425 --> 00:16:15,594
Well, uh, we’ll
certainly try.
394
00:16:15,594 --> 00:16:16,970
Uh, bye.
395
00:16:16,970 --> 00:16:19,056
[LINE CLICKS DEAD]
[♪♪]
396
00:16:20,432 --> 00:16:22,100
[CROW CAWING]
397
00:16:37,783 --> 00:16:39,117
[CAWING]
398
00:16:49,378 --> 00:16:50,963
Darrin.
399
00:16:50,963 --> 00:16:52,965
Darrin, is that you?
400
00:16:52,965 --> 00:16:54,299
[CAWING]
401
00:16:58,262 --> 00:17:00,347
Oh, you poor dear.
402
00:17:01,556 --> 00:17:05,394
I-I-- I don’t blame you
for being upset.
403
00:17:05,394 --> 00:17:08,647
A-and somebody is gonna
pay for this, believe me.
404
00:17:08,647 --> 00:17:09,982
Mother!
405
00:17:09,982 --> 00:17:11,483
[CAWING]
406
00:17:15,654 --> 00:17:18,031
Darrin.
407
00:17:18,031 --> 00:17:19,491
[CAWING]
408
00:17:19,491 --> 00:17:21,326
Well, uh, don’t
be mad at me.
409
00:17:21,326 --> 00:17:22,869
I had nothing
to do with it.
410
00:17:22,869 --> 00:17:24,997
[CAWING]
411
00:17:33,755 --> 00:17:35,257
[CAWING]
412
00:17:37,009 --> 00:17:38,802
I-I-I’m sorry, sweetheart.
413
00:17:38,802 --> 00:17:41,054
But I-- I only did that
for your own good.
414
00:17:41,054 --> 00:17:42,806
Believe me.
415
00:17:42,806 --> 00:17:43,849
[CAWING]
416
00:17:43,849 --> 00:17:45,517
Now, you be patient.
417
00:17:45,517 --> 00:17:48,520
And tonight at the convention,
I’ll get to the bottom of this.
418
00:17:49,646 --> 00:17:51,648
[APPLAUSE]
419
00:17:54,568 --> 00:17:57,279
And now for
my next encore...
420
00:17:57,279 --> 00:17:58,697
I should like to recite
421
00:17:58,697 --> 00:18:00,824
one of the loveliest
incantations
422
00:18:00,824 --> 00:18:02,200
of our literature:
423
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,871
The spell to bring on
an April shower.
424
00:18:05,871 --> 00:18:08,165
Try this for
an encore, Mother.
425
00:18:08,165 --> 00:18:10,042
Please, Samantha.
[CROW CAWING]
426
00:18:10,042 --> 00:18:11,668
I work alone.
Oh, come on.
427
00:18:11,668 --> 00:18:13,211
Show them
how clever you are.
428
00:18:13,211 --> 00:18:15,422
Oh, stop waving that
ridiculous bird at me--
429
00:18:15,422 --> 00:18:18,800
Don’t you call my husband
a ridiculous bird.
430
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,803
That’s Durwood? Oh-ho.
431
00:18:21,803 --> 00:18:23,972
How perfectly divine.
432
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:26,433
Well, I am
not amused.
433
00:18:26,433 --> 00:18:28,226
Now, put him back
the way you found him.
434
00:18:28,226 --> 00:18:29,728
I didn’t do it,
sweetheart.
435
00:18:29,728 --> 00:18:33,899
Not that I wouldn’t have,
had I thought of it.
436
00:18:33,899 --> 00:18:35,567
Well, then...
437
00:18:35,567 --> 00:18:36,610
who did?
438
00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:39,112
I don’t know.
But whoever it was,
439
00:18:39,112 --> 00:18:41,448
let’s have an ovation for him.
440
00:18:41,448 --> 00:18:43,241
[APPLAUSE]
ENDORA:
Yes!
441
00:18:43,241 --> 00:18:45,827
You should be ashamed
of yourselves.
442
00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:47,162
All of you!
443
00:18:47,162 --> 00:18:50,665
You call yourselves
decent witches?
444
00:18:50,665 --> 00:18:53,502
Bullies, that’s
what you are!
445
00:18:53,502 --> 00:18:55,754
Where’s your sense
of humor, Samantha?
446
00:18:55,754 --> 00:18:59,257
It’s just a little
convention high jinks.
447
00:18:59,257 --> 00:19:03,303
We’re no worse than
the Shriners or the Elks.
448
00:19:03,303 --> 00:19:05,263
SAMANTHA:
Well, I don’t think
it’s funny.
449
00:19:05,263 --> 00:19:09,184
And I want whoever
did it to undo it.
450
00:19:09,184 --> 00:19:10,560
Pronto!
451
00:19:14,690 --> 00:19:15,899
[MAGIC BOOMS]
452
00:19:15,899 --> 00:19:17,192
Well, what--?
453
00:19:17,192 --> 00:19:19,236
Well, what happened?
Where did they go?
454
00:19:19,236 --> 00:19:21,488
Uh, I-I’m sorry,
sweetheart,
455
00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:24,241
but, uh, they consider this
hallowed ground.
456
00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:26,118
And...well,
you’re a--
457
00:19:26,118 --> 00:19:28,412
I know what I am.
458
00:19:28,412 --> 00:19:31,081
Now get me back to
the hotel on the double.
459
00:19:31,081 --> 00:19:32,707
Uh, yes, Darrin.
460
00:19:36,294 --> 00:19:38,880
[♪♪]
461
00:19:41,091 --> 00:19:42,300
What are you doing?
462
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:44,052
What I was doing
when I was a bird.
463
00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:45,470
Except faster.
464
00:19:45,470 --> 00:19:47,889
Don’t you think
I deserve an explanation?
465
00:19:47,889 --> 00:19:50,308
This afternoon,
Larry saw you
466
00:19:50,308 --> 00:19:52,436
and Waldo the warlock
467
00:19:52,436 --> 00:19:53,979
at the House of
Seven Gables.
468
00:19:53,979 --> 00:19:55,355
Waldo and me?
469
00:19:55,355 --> 00:19:56,773
That’s impossible.
470
00:19:56,773 --> 00:19:58,650
I don’t wanna talk
about it anymore.
471
00:19:58,650 --> 00:20:01,319
And I’ll go home, cool off
and forgive you.
472
00:20:02,863 --> 00:20:04,322
In a year or two.
473
00:20:05,574 --> 00:20:06,825
Maybe.
474
00:20:06,825 --> 00:20:09,578
[♪♪]
475
00:20:09,578 --> 00:20:12,664
And you’re not even going
to demand an explanation?
476
00:20:13,790 --> 00:20:16,793
Okay. I demand
an explanation.
477
00:20:16,793 --> 00:20:18,712
That’s better.
478
00:20:18,712 --> 00:20:21,214
Well, go on. Explain.
479
00:20:21,214 --> 00:20:22,507
I can’t.
480
00:20:22,507 --> 00:20:25,010
B-but I know
someone who can.
481
00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:27,012
Waldo?
482
00:20:27,012 --> 00:20:28,555
Waldo.
483
00:20:28,555 --> 00:20:30,682
Front
and center.
484
00:20:32,142 --> 00:20:33,810
I was expecting
your call.
485
00:20:34,895 --> 00:20:37,189
First, may I
apologize
486
00:20:37,189 --> 00:20:38,356
for the bird
business?
487
00:20:38,356 --> 00:20:41,860
Thanks. From the bottom
of my beak.
488
00:20:43,028 --> 00:20:45,238
Waldo, rumor hath it
489
00:20:45,238 --> 00:20:46,698
that you and I
were seen cavorting
490
00:20:46,698 --> 00:20:48,408
at the House of
Seven Gables today.
491
00:20:48,408 --> 00:20:50,869
Now, I’m gonna
ask you nicely
492
00:20:50,869 --> 00:20:52,579
to explain that rumor...
493
00:20:52,579 --> 00:20:56,958
quickly, or I will zap you
into another century.
494
00:20:56,958 --> 00:20:58,168
All right.
495
00:20:58,168 --> 00:21:00,086
I was going to
explain anyway.
496
00:21:00,086 --> 00:21:02,297
Sir.
497
00:21:02,297 --> 00:21:04,382
You have
your Samantha...
498
00:21:04,382 --> 00:21:05,926
and I have mine.
499
00:21:08,762 --> 00:21:10,722
WALDO:
Real to nobody
but myself.
500
00:21:16,394 --> 00:21:18,730
Heh. It’s a foolish
fantasy, I know.
501
00:21:18,730 --> 00:21:21,191
But I assure you,
a harmless one.
502
00:21:21,191 --> 00:21:22,776
Oh, Waldo.
503
00:21:22,776 --> 00:21:25,529
It’s been almost an hour
since I’ve seen you.
504
00:21:25,529 --> 00:21:27,948
I’ve been so lonesome
and sad.
505
00:21:27,948 --> 00:21:29,741
Oh, I love
you so, Waldo.
506
00:21:29,741 --> 00:21:33,537
I love you with
all my heart and soul.
507
00:21:33,537 --> 00:21:35,580
I love you--
All right.
508
00:21:35,580 --> 00:21:36,915
All right.
That’s enough.
509
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:39,501
Who’s that?
510
00:21:40,669 --> 00:21:41,670
Sam.
511
00:21:41,670 --> 00:21:44,631
I’m-- I’m sorry.
512
00:21:44,631 --> 00:21:46,424
I’m not.
513
00:21:46,424 --> 00:21:49,219
You’re beautiful
when you’re jealous.
514
00:21:49,219 --> 00:21:51,429
I knocked, but
nobody answered.
515
00:21:51,429 --> 00:21:53,431
Oh, Waldo.
516
00:21:53,431 --> 00:21:55,767
I love you more than
life itself.
517
00:21:55,767 --> 00:21:58,687
I’m sorry, Sam. But this is
something I have to do.
518
00:21:58,687 --> 00:22:00,689
[♪♪]
519
00:22:02,399 --> 00:22:03,692
[CAWING]
520
00:22:06,278 --> 00:22:07,821
Waldo.
521
00:22:07,821 --> 00:22:10,699
Can’t you do anything
but crows?
522
00:22:11,866 --> 00:22:13,243
[CAWS]
523
00:22:13,243 --> 00:22:15,370
[♪♪]
524
00:22:18,707 --> 00:22:21,042
[♪♪]
525
00:22:22,252 --> 00:22:24,212
Shall I put him
back the way he was?
526
00:22:24,212 --> 00:22:25,547
Not yet.
527
00:22:25,547 --> 00:22:26,715
How
will we
528
00:22:26,715 --> 00:22:27,966
explain this
to Larry?
529
00:22:27,966 --> 00:22:30,093
Well, sweetheart,
we have a choice.
530
00:22:30,093 --> 00:22:31,886
We could tell him
I was having
531
00:22:31,886 --> 00:22:33,722
a mad, impetuous
fling.
532
00:22:33,722 --> 00:22:35,223
[CROW CAWS]
Sure.
533
00:22:35,223 --> 00:22:37,976
Or we could
tell him...
534
00:22:37,976 --> 00:22:39,603
I’m a witch.
535
00:22:39,603 --> 00:22:41,646
Yeah, that would
be terrific.
536
00:22:41,646 --> 00:22:42,939
Or...
537
00:22:42,939 --> 00:22:46,401
we could tell him
that was Serena he saw.
538
00:22:46,401 --> 00:22:47,861
That will do it.
539
00:22:47,861 --> 00:22:49,821
Okay, Waldo.
Let’s have a Serena.
540
00:22:49,821 --> 00:22:51,906
Must I, Samantha?
541
00:22:51,906 --> 00:22:54,117
I’m not very fond
of your cousin.
542
00:22:54,117 --> 00:22:56,077
Oh, please,
Waldo.
543
00:22:56,077 --> 00:22:58,747
A-- A blond Serena
dressed just like this.
544
00:22:58,747 --> 00:23:00,832
Like your
fantasy Samantha.
545
00:23:00,832 --> 00:23:02,083
Well, that’s easier.
546
00:23:02,083 --> 00:23:04,252
[MAGICAL CHIMING]
547
00:23:07,047 --> 00:23:08,798
Yeah. That’s
good enough.
548
00:23:08,798 --> 00:23:10,133
Now do him.
549
00:23:13,511 --> 00:23:14,929
What happened?
550
00:23:14,929 --> 00:23:17,098
Uh, well,
uh, y-you led
551
00:23:17,098 --> 00:23:19,059
with a right
cross. And, uh--
552
00:23:19,059 --> 00:23:22,062
And-- And Waldo countered
with a karate chop.
553
00:23:22,062 --> 00:23:25,607
He’s a very dangerous
uh, person, you know.
554
00:23:25,607 --> 00:23:26,941
I didn’t feel a thing.
555
00:23:26,941 --> 00:23:29,069
That’s what makes him
so dangerous.
556
00:23:29,069 --> 00:23:32,947
I didn’t realize before.
You know something?
557
00:23:32,947 --> 00:23:35,450
When you’re knocked out,
you dream.
558
00:23:35,450 --> 00:23:37,202
I thought I was a crow.
559
00:23:38,745 --> 00:23:40,997
Where is he?
I may be down...
560
00:23:40,997 --> 00:23:42,666
but I’m not out.
561
00:23:42,666 --> 00:23:44,668
I’m sorry for
the little
562
00:23:44,668 --> 00:23:46,127
misunderstanding,
sir.
563
00:23:46,127 --> 00:23:48,630
Oh. May I present
my friend, Serena?
564
00:23:48,630 --> 00:23:50,256
Hi, cotton top.
565
00:23:50,256 --> 00:23:53,301
Serena, your--
Your hair.
566
00:23:53,301 --> 00:23:56,179
Someone said blondes
have more fun.
567
00:23:56,179 --> 00:23:58,556
I thought I’d
find out. Hm-hm.
568
00:23:59,766 --> 00:24:01,309
[LAUGHING]
569
00:24:01,309 --> 00:24:04,813
Oh, Serena.
It was you all the time.
570
00:24:04,813 --> 00:24:06,231
And I thought that--
571
00:24:06,231 --> 00:24:08,233
A perfectly
understandable mistake.
572
00:24:08,233 --> 00:24:10,568
Hm. And you proved
your loyalty.
573
00:24:10,568 --> 00:24:12,946
Uh, where have you two
girls been? To a costume ball?
574
00:24:12,946 --> 00:24:15,281
That’s right.
Serena.
575
00:24:15,281 --> 00:24:18,368
I can’t tell you
how glad I am to see you.
576
00:24:18,368 --> 00:24:19,494
[MAGIC CHIMING]
577
00:24:22,497 --> 00:24:25,083
[♪♪]
578
00:24:32,173 --> 00:24:34,843
I don’t feel very good.
579
00:24:34,843 --> 00:24:37,345
Could somebody
bring me a drink?
580
00:24:37,345 --> 00:24:39,889
How about
some Old Crow?
581
00:24:42,559 --> 00:24:43,601
[♪♪]
582
00:24:43,601 --> 00:24:44,936
[GIGGLES]
583
00:24:47,647 --> 00:24:50,150
[♪♪]
39228
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