All language subtitles for Bewitched S04E31 The No-Harm Charm_track3_[eng]

[♪♪]

No, everything's just fine.

I was just wondering if you'd
heard anything yet.

Honey, I told you I'd call you
as soon as I found out.

Larry's in with McMann
right now.

I'll let you know the second
I get the news.

All right, sweetheart.

Oh, now, but remember, no matter
what happens, I love you.

[MAKES KISSING SOUNDS]
And I love you.

[KISSING SOUNDS]
Who is this?

[DOOR BUZZES]

Oops! Uh, that's Larry.
Bye.

Oh, now, Tabatha, eat some
of your spinach.

Otherwise you won't grow up
to be a full partner,

like your daddy.

Partner.

That's right.

And this very minute, he's
getting the news from Larry.

I-- I can't believe it.

Neither did Omega
National Bank and Trust.

"Assets over $100."

I don't understand.

How could seven zeros disappear?

You tell me.

Wait a minute.

Are you suggesting I'm
responsible for this goof?

It's your letter.
Your project.

You were following through.

Who am I supposed to blame,
the janitor?

But, Larry,
I did follow through.

I checked the copy
and I double-checked it.

I proofed it
with my secretary.

What more could I do?

This is just a typo.

If this is a typo,

Mount Vesuvius is a
cigarette lighter.

Darrin, you pulled the greatest
boo-boo of all time.

Well, are you just
gonna stand there?

Haven't you got anything to say?

Does uh-- Does this mean
I'm not going to be a partner?

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

Oh, Sweetheart,
I know you feel awful,

but it's not the end
of the world.

You still have your job.

You don't?

Larry suggested
it would be best

if I took some sick leave
for the time being.

I said I wasn't sick.

He said I might be.

What does that mean to you?

Oh, now, honey, you know Larry.

He always gets over
those things.

Sam, this wasn't
one of those things.

It was a disastrous error.

And I still can't figure out
how it happened.

There's no human way that goof
could have slipped by me.

I checked. I double-checked.

Wait a minute.

Let me say that again.

There was no human way...

Of course.

Your mother.

She couldn't bear the idea that
I was gonna make it.

She's the one that blew those
seven extra zeros.

Oh, now, Darrin.

There's no other explanation.

Well, but you're
being ridiculous.

Why would she do a thing
like that?

Mother isn't--

Sam, I have an announcement
to make.

I give up.

I am tired of bucking
all this witchcraft.

No matter how I try, someone
in your family fouls things up.

So from now on, anything goes.

You and yours can practice
all the witchcraft you want to.

Oh, now, Darrin,
don't say that.

Prohibition
has been repealed.

Darrin, I am not going
to allow you

to blame a human error
on witchcraft.

What's so terrible
about making a mistake?

It can happen to anybody.

Even a bank.

I'm going up and get into bed.

Oh, Darrin, you haven't even
had your supper.

And I made your favorite dish:
beef stew. Look.

Uncle Arthur, what are you doing
in there?

What do you think?

I'm a stewaway.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, brother, just what I need.

Uncle Arthur, will you please
get out of there?

That stew could use
a, um, pinch of time.

No danger of it boiling now.

It's a watched pot.

[LAUGHING]
Oh, I'm too much.

I ran into Madam Medusa,
otherwise known as your mother.

And she told me
the good news about Darrin.

Congratulations, my boy.

Good night.

Sweetheart, what are you
doing in bed?

You'll be late.

For what?

For work.

I'm not going to work.

What?

Darrin, this is ridiculous.

You've got to get up
and go to work.

Why?

What's the use of trying
to fight

a one-sided battle
against witchcraft?

It's like trying to put out
the Chicago fire

with a bottle of pop.

Well, I can't believe my ears.

Now, Darrin, you get dressed
and come down to breakfast.

No.

I'll fix you some waffles.

Okay.

Uh, where are you going?

The last time I saw my waffle
iron, it was in the kitchen.

But didn't you hear me?

The ban is lifted.

Why waffle when you can twitch?

Darrin, you may have given up,
but I haven't.

I happen to think that cooking
on a stove is more fun

than using witchcraft.

And I also enjoy taking
care of my husband and my child,

in the everyday mortal way.

If I didn't, I wouldn't be here.

Now, for the last time,
will you please get up.

Okay.

When you are ready
to eat your words,

your breakfast will be
ready to eat.

Uncle Arthur, what are you
doing here, and what's this?

Uh, W-what's it look like?

A cow.

Very good, Sammy.

Uncle Arthur!

I'm just complying
with the child's request.

She wanted more milk.

What's wrong with getting it
from the refrigerator?

I never milked a refrigerator.

[GIGGLES]

Really, Uncle Arthur.

But the little darling's getting
a big kick out of the cow.

When was the last time
she laughed at a bottle of milk.

Anyway, I only came back
to find out how Darrin's doing.

Terrible.

He thinks witchcraft is at the
bottom of all his troubles,

and he won't even get up.

I don't know what to do.

How about a hotbed?

Hotbed?

Same as a hotfoot, only we
do it to the whole bed.

Uncle Arthur, this is serious.

He's never been like
this before.

That bad, huh?

Why don't I go up
and cheer him up?

Please, he feels bad enough.

I resent that.

I'll have you know that beneath
this clown's mask...

lies another clown's mask.

[LAUGHS]

[GIGGLES]

Don't worry, Sammy.

I'll have a little man-to-man
talk with him,

and see if I can't get
his confidence back.

Well, okay.

But remember, uh,
no you-know-what.

I will rely on nothing but my
intellectual powers, okay?

Fine, but try and use
your head too.

You see?

A poor joke is
better than none.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

- Chester.
- Chester who?

♪ Chester gigolo
everywhere I go ♪

Just what I need.

My boy, you may not
believe this,

but I am here to help you.

You really wanna help me?

I do.

Go away.

I'm not gonna exchange
insults with you,

because I don't want you
to lose your amateur standing.

You have been
unmercifully persecuted,

by the Madame Lafarge
of the broomstick set.

Otherwise know as
your mother-in-law.

And you have every right
to cry foul.

Well, I am glad to hear
someone agrees with me.

I not only agree with you, I am
going to do something about it.

Here, take this and keep it.

What is it?

A lucky charm.

As long as you have it,
no harm can befall you,

and that includes
any kind of witchcraft.

What does it do, explode?

Okay, I--
I deserve that.

But tell the truth.

Wouldn't a charm like this
come in, uh, handy around here?

[SIGHS]
It sure would.

If I can believe you.

I'll prove it to you.

Get up.

All right.

Hold this.

And stand there.

W-what, uh--
W-what's that for?

You'll see.

Oh, I, uh, don't
wanna alarm anyone.

[GUN FIRES,
DARRIN GASPS]

That's the oldest trick
in the bag.

You've got blanks in that gun.

Oh, really?

[FIRES]

Well?

Look, I appreciate your
interest, but--

Need more convincing, huh?

Okay.

Climb up.

This is ridiculous.

Don't fight me, boy.
I'm trying to save you.

Now get up there.

Now, jump.

What?

You can't get hurt as long as
you have that charm.

Jump.

It really works, doesn't it?

Of course.

Do you know what this means?

For the first time since
my marriage, I'm immune.

They can't touch me.

I can't be hexed, zapped,
or twitched.

From now on, I'm on
an even footing

with every other human being.

I'm going to the office and--

If you wanna stay
on that even footing,

you'd better hang on
to this, fella.

Uh, we, uh-- We don't have to
mention this to Samantha, do we?

Oh, of course not.

It'll be just
our little secret.

He's really getting dressed?

He'll be coming down
any second.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Sweetheart, isn't
that marvelous?

Daddy's coming down
to have breakfast with you.

Syrup?

Gobs of it.

DARRIN:
Sam, I'm leaving.

Uh, sweetheart,
what about breakfast?

Uh, no--
No time for that, honey.

I wanna get down to the office
as soon as possible.

I'm gonna sit
Larry Tate down

and convince him
I can save the Omega account.

Well, sweetheart, I'm glad
to see you back to normal.

But how did Uncle Arthur do it?

Oh, he gave me...
a new point of view.

Thanks, unc.

Mwa.

How'd you do it?

You heard him.

I gave him
a new point of view.

How?

Sam, certain people have unique
powers of persuasion.

And other people cannot seem
to tell the truth.

Did you use witchcraft
on Darrin?

Quite the reverse.

I just used psychology.

Psychology?

I gave him a lucky charm,

that protects him from
witchcraft and all other harm.

What are you talking about?

There's no such thing.

Sure.
But he doesn't know it.

And it got him out of bed,
didn't it?

Gave him a new point of view.

And when I tell him
he's been carrying around

the top of this lamp,

he'll realize he got
through the day on his own.

Psychology.

That's awful.

Why?

Well, uh, for one thing,
it's deceitful.

And he could get
into terrible trouble.

[♪♪]

[CAR HONKING]

You see the problem,
Uncle Arthur.

He might not get
through the day alive.

That is a problem.

Black isn't one
of your best colors.

Uh, maybe I'd better tell him
the truth about the charm.

No.

Uh, no?

No.

It would just prove his point.

That witchcraft is responsible
for his troubles.

Then, um, what do you suggest?

First, I don't think you should
be here when he gets home.

That-- That's a good suggestion.

Second, I am not gonna let him
out of my sight all day.

Now you stay here and mind
Tabatha till I get back.

Goodbye, Uncle Arthur.

Thanks for your help.

She really knows how
to hurt an uncle.

I'll level with you, Darrin.

I didn't expect
to see you today...

or tomorrow.

Or the next day.

Oh, come on, Larry.

You know you weren't serious
about my taking sick leave.

LARRY:
I wasn't?

Larry, I've got a brilliant idea
for getting Omega National

back into the fold.

I thought you looked
a little feverish.

Joke all you want,
but you're gonna hear me out,

if I have to tie you down.

Uncle Arthur, you're supposed
to be watching Tabatha.

Don't worry. I got Hagatha
to take over.

How's he doing?

He's a regular fireball.

Naturally.

Because he thinks
he can't lose.

Which only proves that
my idea was genuinely...

foolish.

Larry, what I wanna to do is
go down to Omega's home office

and convince Old Man Markham

the mistake we made
was a lucky fluke.

That would be
the trick of the year.

How?

Larry...

what is the biggest complaint
people have against banks?

Too impersonal. No heart, right?

But here is a bank that makes
an historic goof...

and is willing to laugh at it.

They weren't laughing
when I talked to them.

They will when I tell them

about the tons
of free publicity we can get,

just by spreading the story.
I mean, put it on the newswires,

do a feature story about it.

Get it into the columns.

Spread the word all over
the country

that Omega National Bank
has a sense of humor.

Darrin, you may have come up

with one of the greatest
space grabbers of all time.

You really think so, Lar?

No.

But what have we got to lose?
The account's gone anyway.

And as for you, we'll just
extend your sick leave.

That's the kind of fella

that throws a drowning man
both ends of the rope.

Oh, it's just Larry's way.

The hardest thing for him
to give, is in.

Good luck, boy.

Oh, I'm sorry, but Mr. Markham
doesn't see anybody

without an appointment.

Oh, he'll see me.

Just tell him it's Darrin
Stephens of McMann and Tate.

All right, but...

Mr. Markham?

A Mr. Darrin Stephens
of McMann and Tate to see you.

Mm-hm. Uh-huh.

Uh, he says, as far as he's
concerned, none of you exist.

Oh, what a sorehead.

- Excuse me.
- Oh, now just a minute--

Uh, Mr. Markham,

I don't blame
you one bit for being resentful.

But if you don't see me,
you'll be passing up the chance

to make Omega National Bank
a household word.

Oh, isn't he magnificent?

Just brimming over
with enthusiasm.

Well, let's hope the other fella
doesn't pull the stopper.

Thank you very much, sir.

And thank you very much, miss.

No, it looks like
he's gonna get in.

Uh, uh...

Hadn't we better follow?

What for?

He's perfectly safe in there.

Hey, while we're waiting,

what do you say we go over to
one of the teller's windows?

I've got a great routine

where I deposit a paper bag
with 5000 pennies in it.

I don't think that's funny.

Well, of course not.

Not till the bag breaks.

That's ridiculous.

No, no, it's just using
common cents.

And if you go along
with my plan,

I guarantee Omega National
will be on everyone's lips.

It'll be known as
"The Bank with a Heart."

Well? What do you think?

Get out.

Maybe we ought go in there.

He sounds like
he could use some help.

Oh, Mr. Markham,
I appeal to you.

Please, don't let your anger

stand in the way
of a creative judgment.

Think about it.

No, we're not here
to give him that kind of help.

Got some papers here
for Mr. Markham's signature.

Oh. Well, I'll take them.

Ah, ah. I'm supposed
to hand them to him personally.

Oh. Just a minute.

If I had any doubt

about severing relations
with your outfit,

you've certainly convinced me.

And as for your idea--

- [PHONE BUZZES]
- Yes?

SECRETARY: I have a bank
messenger here

with some official papers.

All right, send him in.

As for your idea,

the stupidity of it is exceeded
only by your colossal gall.

What are you waiting for?

I'm not going to leave,
till I get a definite answer.

[SIGHS]

"Tell cashier to bring $10,000
in small bills or you're dead."

Just what is the meaning
of this?

This is the meaning.

Now, do like it says,
or I'll blast ya.

And don't touch
that floor alarm.

If you're smart,
you won't budge.

Call the cashier.
Remember, small bills.

Mr. Markham, don't.

Are you buckin'
to be a dead hero?

DARRIN: No, I'm just trying
to make you realize that, uh,

right now,
you are on television.

- Right?
- Oh. Right.

What do you think I am, a jerk?

I cased this place
for three months.

All the TV cameras
are out there.

Oh. That's very clever of you.

Make that call.

No!

Boy, you're really
asking for it.

Now, uh...

I'm giving you
a fair warning, buster.

Stay where you are.

Well, he's still in there.

He must be making progress.

Oh, I tell you, thanks to me,
that boy's hot as a pistol.

Now, uh, why don't you
give me that gun

before it gets you
into trouble.

You-- You better not
come any closer.

You'll never get away
with it, you know.

If you don't stop,
you won't live to find out.

They'll catch up with you
sooner or later.

They always do.

Stephens, for heaven's sake,
he'll kill you.

Don't worry.
He can't.

You'll thank me for this,
someday.

Thanks.

Stephens, I don't know
what to say.

What a magnificent
display of courage.

I'm deeply grateful.

Uh, does that mean
you'll reconsider

the matter of the contract
with McMann and Tate?

Why, yes, certainly,

I'll consider
reconsidering it.

Well, thank you
very much, sir.

Uh, what-- Uh, what about my
idea to exploit that mistake?

Uh, I don't think that's
worth reconsidering.

"One of the most remarkable
displays of courage

"I have ever witnessed,

"said R.H. Markham,
president of Omega National.

"The would-be robber was taken
to the county prison hospital,

suffering from
nervous prostration."

Oh, sweetheart,
I'm awfully proud of you.

But you took a terrible risk.

Well, uh, actually,
I don't deserve much credit.

What do you mean?

Well, Sam, you--

Well, that, uh,
bank robber

just didn't have
much confidence.

Oh.

By the way, uh, the print shop
finally admitted

they were the ones
who dropped all those zeros.

Larry was so tickled
about getting the account back,

he decided not to fire them.

Ha, ha, ha.
Well, lucky for the printer.

It's even luckier
that, uh, the printer

is married to Larry's sister.

Uh, what about the promotion?

Larry suggested we cool that
for a time.

You know, until everyone
forgets that mistake

about, uh, Omega's assets.

That could be forever.

That's the period of time
Larry suggested.

- Honey--
- Sweetheart--

- What?
- Yes?

Uh, Darrin...

there's something
that Uncle Arthur told me that--

Honey, I was just about
to mention that, um...

He, uh-- He told you
about this, didn't he?

Yes.

So I'm not really
a hero

because that bank robber
couldn't have hurt me.

Is that what he told you?

Well, t-t-there's a little bit
more to it than that.

Oh, why didn't he
tell me himself?

Well, you see, he thought
it would be easier--

Better if I did it.

What is it?

[SIGHS]

I don't get it.

Well, Uncle Arthur was just
trying to build your confidence.

That isn't a lucky charm?

Hardly.

And, uh, that bank robber
was holding a gun on me and I...

And I...

Well, I-- I called it,
didn't I?

You did.

I'll get the smelling salts.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]