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1
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:14,715
Enjoy your dinner?
2
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,750
Marvelous.
3
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,784
Car check, please, sir.
4
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:19,219
Mmm. Yeah,
right here.
5
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,055
- Oh.
- Thank you.
6
00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:23,624
Phooey.
7
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:24,458
What's the matter?
8
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:26,360
I left my gloves
on the table.
9
00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:28,328
You're improving.
10
00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:30,998
You usually remember them
halfway home.
11
00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:33,166
- Ha-ha.
- I'll go get them.
12
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,068
I know how I can save you
the trouble.
13
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,670
Like this?
14
00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:37,871
You want me to?
15
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:43,410
No. I definitely, emphatically
and positively do not.
16
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:49,249
[MAN WHISTLING]
17
00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,193
Uh, what time
is the floor show?
18
00:01:00,193 --> 00:01:01,662
There isn't any.
19
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,031
Isn't this the club Bimbo?
20
00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:06,333
No, it's La Petite Maison.
21
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:09,169
Who stole the club Bimbo?
22
00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:10,671
I'm afraid I don't know.
23
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:13,106
I get it.
24
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,175
Beautiful but dumb.
25
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:20,213
In that case, let's go
straight to my apartment.
26
00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:23,050
No, thank you.
27
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,651
Look, lady.
28
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:28,422
Please. In three days
I gotta be in Cleveland.
29
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,258
Rrr-rah!
30
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,529
Sir, you leave me alone,
31
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,931
or I promise you'll regret it.
32
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:41,601
My spirit cannot be dampened.
33
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:44,671
That's what you think.
34
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,615
[SNICKERING]
35
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,826
Uh, what's going on here?
36
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:06,927
Are you her husband?
37
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,261
Yes, I am.
Who are you?
38
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:10,764
I'm a reformed drunk.
39
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,003
Sam, what happened?
40
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:19,072
He tried to pick me up,
so I dampened his spirit.
41
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:21,641
With real water.
42
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:22,776
By witchcraft!
43
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:23,810
Well...
44
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,379
Well, what?
45
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,449
He was in no condition
to drive.
46
00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:43,263
[♪♪]
47
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:31,411
[♪♪]
48
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:36,616
I say the use of witchcraft
was completely uncalled for.
49
00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:41,188
And I say it was my duty
to the motoring public.
50
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:42,689
That's just an excuse.
51
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:45,425
You took fiendish delight in
putting that guy in his place,
52
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:46,426
and you know it.
53
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,728
Darrin, I resent that.
54
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,564
I am not a fiend.
55
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,966
I didn't say that. I said you
took fiendish delight.
56
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:56,837
Well, you can't take fiendish
delight unless you're a fiend.
57
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,105
You can too.
58
00:03:58,105 --> 00:03:59,339
You cannot.
59
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:00,807
Boy, are you unreasonable!
60
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,876
No. You are.
61
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,484
That's what you're
always saying.
62
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,385
Only as a last alternative.
63
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,421
In our four years
of marriage,
64
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:19,526
I have been through
2856 last alternatives.
65
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:22,162
I never knew you kept score.
66
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,430
I don't.
67
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,866
I meant that
as a wild exaggeration.
68
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:34,141
Samantha.
69
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,476
Yes, dear.
70
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,645
It's my considered opinion
71
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:41,047
that you use witchcraft
at the drop of a hat.
72
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:42,482
And furthermore,
73
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:43,783
that you love it.
74
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,552
Darrin, that's not your
considered opinion.
75
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,787
You're only saying that
because you're angry.
76
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:48,922
I'm not angry.
77
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:52,159
Just that I'm tired
of fighting a losing battle.
78
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,594
So I surrender.
79
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:56,463
Let's stop being hypocrites.
80
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,432
Let's tell the whole world
your true identity.
81
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,936
A-are you serious?
82
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:04,437
Why not?
83
00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:07,007
Could my existence
be more hectic?
84
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,241
Yes.
85
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,443
I doubt it very much.
86
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:14,548
Good night.
87
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:25,625
Sturbo vectro
Wrangay zeem
88
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:28,862
You're about
To have a dream
89
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:34,267
And in the words
of a great philosopher,
90
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:36,069
it's going to be a beaut.
91
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:41,575
We'll tell the whole world
I'm a witch.
92
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,310
Let's start with Larry Tate.
93
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:44,311
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
94
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:45,679
Come in.
95
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,950
Larry, do you have a minute
to talk to us?
96
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,686
To you, a minute,
to Samantha, a lifetime.
97
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:53,787
Oh.
98
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,089
What brings you
to our happy little jungle?
99
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,090
I do.
100
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,292
It's all Darrin's idea.
101
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:00,727
We have something
to tell you.
102
00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:02,195
Let's see if I can guess.
103
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,598
My guess is
he'll never guess.
104
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:09,102
I, uh, think
we'd better sit down.
105
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,037
Sure.
106
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,679
It isn't your marriage is it?
107
00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:21,314
Yes, it's our marriage.
108
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,782
Well...
109
00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:26,119
my advice is to just
roll with the punches.
110
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:28,255
Larry, you don't understand.
111
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:29,656
Don't be greedy, Darrin.
112
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,458
You've had four good years,
113
00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:33,693
and now that they're over,
cherish them.
114
00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:37,097
Aww, that's a lovely
thought, Larry.
115
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,698
May I write it down?
116
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:43,637
So when you yell and scream
at each other...
117
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,138
do it with kindness.
118
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,307
Larry, that isn't our problem.
119
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,075
Our problem is me.
120
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,278
Samantha...is different.
121
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,979
From whom?
122
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,948
From you and me.
123
00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:57,150
Well, naturally.
124
00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:01,388
I'm a man, and you're a man,
and she's a woman.
125
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,189
No, she isn't.
126
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:04,324
She isn't a woman?
127
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,425
No.
128
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,627
I see.
129
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,429
Congratulations, sir.
130
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,032
That's an amazing disguise.
131
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:18,104
Darrin means that I am not
a mortal woman.
132
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:21,074
I'm a witch.
133
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,045
Okay, kids.
You got your laugh.
134
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:28,381
Now, run along
and let me go back to work.
135
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,150
Larry, we're not kidding.
136
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,685
My wife is a witch.
137
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:34,154
Darrin, if you want
a vacation, ask for it.
138
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:36,890
You don't have to go through
this fruitcake routine.
139
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,758
Larry...
140
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:42,696
I am a full-fledged,
card-carrying,
141
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:45,765
cauldron-stirring witch.
142
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,802
All right, witch-wife.
143
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,670
Show me the old black magic.
144
00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:55,575
Where'd she go?
145
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,017
Well, that-- Ha-ha.
146
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,052
That, uh...ha-ha,
147
00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:08,955
w-was done with mirrors.
148
00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:09,823
Oh, uh...
149
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,192
How many mirrors?
Two?
150
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,733
You had them
up your sleeves.
151
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:23,036
Well, uh, how about
two big mirrors?
152
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,044
The, uh...
153
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:34,914
The little ones
were expandable.
154
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,569
Are you all right, Larry?
155
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,539
Samantha?
156
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,807
Yes, Larry?
157
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,476
With my brains...
158
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,245
and your voodoo...
159
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,280
we can control the world!
160
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:11,851
Uh, Larry, let me explain how we
made the adjustment in the past
161
00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:14,754
and how we hope to make
the adjustment in the future.
162
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:16,623
Never mind the petty details.
163
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:19,559
Sam, with you on my team,
at a generous salary,
164
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,194
I can juggle the stock market
165
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:24,097
and seize control
of the national economy!
166
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:27,767
That's true, Larry,
but...
167
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:31,037
Today the nation,
tomorrow the world!
168
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:33,773
Larry, take it easy!
169
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:37,277
I can't!
I'm mad with power!
170
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,978
Well, we're not.
171
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:40,814
We don't want to use
my witchcraft
172
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:43,016
- to rule the world.
- That's right.
173
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,552
I'm sure when you've had time to
think it over, you'll dec--
174
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,487
I'll decide I want
to rule the world.
175
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:50,557
I've wanted to rule the world
ever since I was a little kid.
176
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,058
Oh.
177
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:55,995
We're sorry, Larry.
We really are.
178
00:09:55,995 --> 00:10:00,400
But just because you two don't
want anything for yourselves,
179
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,001
let's not forget old Lar.
180
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:03,470
"Old Lar"?
181
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:08,975
I should be entitled to a modest
amount of fallout, shall we say?
182
00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:12,745
Just out of loyalty
and friendship.
183
00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:16,015
Larry, we refuse to use
Samantha's power
184
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:19,886
for material gains
for ourselves or anyone else!
185
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:22,088
Are you sore because I want
a piece of the action?
186
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:25,825
There isn't gonna be
any of that kind of action!
187
00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:29,496
All right, forget it.
188
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,798
Forgive me for being pushy.
189
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,200
I thank you
for the information, and...
190
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,503
now I find myself
running late.
191
00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:37,837
So, uh...
192
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:40,340
Sam.
193
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,076
Darrin.
194
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,844
- Just one more thing.
- Yes, Larry?
195
00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:46,412
You're fired.
196
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:56,890
Hmm.
197
00:10:56,890 --> 00:11:00,393
Larry wasn't a very good sport
about that, was he?
198
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:03,763
Maybe it was just a fluke.
199
00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:07,300
Let's see what happens
when we tell the Kravitzes.
200
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,608
Oh, please. Come in.
201
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:17,210
Go ahead,
honey.
202
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,585
Um, is your wife home?
203
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:26,886
GLADYS:
Abner?
204
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,888
Oh, hi, there.
205
00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:31,758
- Hi.
- Hi.
206
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:34,294
What an unexpected surprise.
207
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:37,363
We came to bring you a bit
of neighborhood gossip.
208
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,698
We did not.
209
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,400
We came to clear the air.
210
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,734
About what?
211
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:43,603
About who I am.
212
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:44,804
Who are you?
213
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:46,806
I am a witch.
214
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:49,275
I don't believe you.
215
00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:51,878
Honestly!
216
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:54,280
I don't believe her.
217
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:58,618
Uh... It's true.
218
00:11:58,618 --> 00:11:59,719
She's a witch.
219
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,689
I knew it!
220
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,090
I thought you
didn't believe it.
221
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,359
I meant I didn't
believe she'd ever admit it.
222
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,295
I believed she was a witch
from the second I met her.
223
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:12,832
The problem is,
you didn't believe me.
224
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:13,833
I still don't.
225
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,201
I don't believe all of you.
226
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:16,202
Where is it?
227
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:17,203
Where's what?
228
00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:18,404
The candid camera.
229
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,506
I'm being embarrassed
on coast-to-coast television.
230
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:24,010
Mr. Kravitz,
there's no camera.
231
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:27,046
Um, unless you need one.
232
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:29,382
There!
233
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,650
Did you see that?
234
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,251
She conjured up a camera.
235
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,422
[SQUAWK]
236
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,959
Now she changed the camera
into a chicken!
237
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,497
[GASPS]
238
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:47,166
Was that really necessary?
239
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:49,936
Well, you wanted me
to convince him, didn't you?
240
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,204
Just let us live.
241
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:53,806
We're young,
and we wanna live.
242
00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:56,409
If you must take one of us,
take me.
243
00:12:56,409 --> 00:13:01,714
But, Mr. Kravitz, I'm not
a bad witch, I'm a good witch.
244
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,883
Her mother's a bad witch.
245
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:11,057
Oh, well, um...
246
00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:13,226
It's been nice
chatting with you.
247
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:18,531
See you soon.
248
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:32,745
Well, sweetheart...
249
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:34,480
how do you like it so far?
250
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,249
Um-hmm.
251
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,598
Um-huh.
252
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,303
Keep dreaming, sweetheart.
253
00:13:57,303 --> 00:14:00,740
It's a few weeks later,
we've told all our friends.
254
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:05,344
Somebody told the newspapers,
and now you have your wish.
255
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:08,915
The whole world
knows our secret.
256
00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:15,955
The whole world knows
I'm a witch.
257
00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:18,091
ABNER: All right, folks.
Right this way.
258
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:19,759
Just $1 for a comfortable seat
259
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,961
across from where
the witch lives.
260
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:23,663
Children: 50 cents.
261
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:26,065
The price of admission
includes a thrilling lecture
262
00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:28,167
by Gladys Kravitz entitled
263
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:32,405
"The Samantha Stephens
I Have Known and Feared".
264
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:41,748
Peanuts, popcorn.
Peanuts, popcorn.
265
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,684
Peanuts, popcorn,
right here.
266
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,552
Here comes a car.
267
00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:50,223
- That's her husband!
- That's the witch's husband!
268
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,391
- Let's get his autograph!
- Yeah, let's go!
269
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,127
[ALL CLAMORING]
270
00:14:56,295 --> 00:14:58,064
MAN: Mr. Samantha,
may I have your autograph?
271
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:58,931
BOY:
Me too!
272
00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:00,133
GIRL:
Isn't he handsome?
273
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,535
WOMAN: May I have your tie
for good luck?
274
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,403
I'm sorry, madam,
275
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,572
but if you want to fly
to Florida for your vacation,
276
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,908
you're going to have
to do it by aeroplane.
277
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,444
My broom is booked
for the season.
278
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,825
Hi, there! What's new?
279
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:27,593
[DOORBELL RINGS]
280
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,028
Oh, not much.
281
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:31,597
- I got caught in a stampede--
- [PHONE RINGS]
282
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,499
Excuse me.
283
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:35,468
Hello?
284
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:38,037
Speaking.
285
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:40,206
Mickey Mantle?
286
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:43,209
The Mickey Mantle?
287
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:46,245
Oh, Mr. Mantle,
I'm surprised at you.
288
00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:47,647
That wouldn't be fair.
289
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:51,250
If I worked it out
so that you could bat .600,
290
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:54,287
I'd have to let
all the other players bat .600.
291
00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:59,826
And besides,
I'm a Mets fan.
292
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,961
You're welcome, anyhow.
293
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,664
Goodbye.
294
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,333
Oh, my, this phone hasn't
stopped ringing all day.
295
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:09,368
We'll have to change
our number.
296
00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:11,971
We've already changed it
10 times.
297
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,440
They keep tracking us down.
298
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,876
Well, how'd the job-hunting
go today?
299
00:16:16,876 --> 00:16:18,644
It went rotten. Ev--
300
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,580
[PHONE RINGS]
301
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,816
All my prospective employers
either thought
302
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:27,620
I was too controversial or they
wanted to make a package deal.
303
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,956
You mean like Don Drysdale
and Sandy Koufax?
304
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,257
Mm-hmm.
305
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:33,426
They'll only hire me
if they can hire you.
306
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,995
So they can raise
their profits by witchcraft.
307
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,264
Oh.
308
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,968
Hi, sweetheart.
309
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,669
Daddy needs a kiss.
310
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,005
Uh...Tabatha?
311
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,640
Uh, hon?
312
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:53,479
What, uh--? What's
the matter with her?
313
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:55,481
She's depressed.
314
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,315
By what?
315
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:58,050
None of her friends
will play with her.
316
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:00,720
Because her mother's a witch?
317
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,721
No.
318
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:05,224
Because her mother's a witch
who won't give everyone a pony.
319
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,494
Poor kid.
320
00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:11,364
Why should she be punished
for my mistake?
321
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,699
[DOORBELL RINGS]
322
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:14,767
You get it.
323
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,336
And if it's another moocher...
324
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:19,105
turn him into a chicken!
325
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,078
Mrs. Darrin Stevens?
326
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:27,213
Yes.
327
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,215
I'm Brigadier General Stanton.
328
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,149
This is Agent W
329
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:32,985
of our top-secret organization
the HHH.
330
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,955
What does HHH stand for?
331
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:38,124
That's top-secret.
332
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,961
We'd like to confer
with you and your husband.
333
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,896
Oh. Certainly.
334
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,197
Come in.
335
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,567
I'll get the door.
336
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:55,074
General Stanton, Agent W of the
HHH, my husband, Darrin Stevens.
337
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,709
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
338
00:17:58,277 --> 00:17:59,679
Who assaulted you?
339
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:00,947
Uh, my fans.
340
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:04,951
General, next time
they won't miss.
341
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,052
Stevens,
342
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:07,787
I regret to
inform you that you,
343
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,957
your wife and your daughter
are in grave personal danger.
344
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:11,891
We are?
345
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:15,227
Washington has been flooded
with letters and telegrams
346
00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:18,864
demanding that you all be burned
at the stake.
347
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:21,100
Oh, well,
that's ridiculous.
348
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,769
Witch-burning went out
in the 17th century.
349
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,138
It's being revived.
350
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:28,074
May we be seated?
351
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,342
Please.
352
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,419
We have reason to believe
that a blueprint
353
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,555
for your destruction
is nearing completion.
354
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:45,524
They're gathering firewood
from Maine to California.
355
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:46,926
Oh, piffle!
356
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:51,330
Mrs. Stevens, to the security
of the United States of America,
357
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:54,133
I assure you it is not piffle.
358
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,301
Why not?
359
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,136
Because we need you.
360
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,638
Uh, thank you.
361
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,774
Not you.
362
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,142
Her.
363
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:08,647
You are an American witch,
aren't you?
364
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:09,815
Yes.
365
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:13,052
And will you use your powers
to defend your country?
366
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,787
- No.
- Yes, she will.
367
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:18,824
Darrin, you don't want me to use
my witchcraft for anything.
368
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,059
That was my old policy.
369
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,194
My new policy is...
370
00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:23,929
Is what?
371
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:27,166
Whatever best serves my country.
372
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:30,636
That's well spoken, son.
373
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:32,204
We want to take
the three of you
374
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:33,839
into protective custody
375
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,375
so we can interrogate
your wife thoroughly
376
00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:38,310
and at the same time,
377
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:41,047
keep you and your child
under armed guard.
378
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:45,918
In other words, you want us
to become military prisoners.
379
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,186
Guests.
380
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,454
Where?
381
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:50,356
We haven't decided.
382
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,458
We thought your wife
might help us.
383
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:56,762
Oh, well, I'd be happy to.
384
00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:59,698
What type of place
did you have in mind?
385
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,567
Someplace isolated.
386
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:06,739
Say, for instance, an abandoned
military installation
387
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:11,544
somewhere in the middle of
a desert, with maximum security.
388
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:15,881
A nice concentration-camp
atmosphere?
389
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,817
Yes, that's it.
390
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,219
When would you like
us to leave?
391
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,554
The sooner, the better.
392
00:20:23,622 --> 00:20:24,690
Tabatha?
393
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:26,325
Would you come down here
a minute?
394
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:28,828
Uh, by the way,
she is a witch.
395
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:31,831
There are others:
my mother and Aunt Clara,
396
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,400
and my daddy and
Uncle Arthur are warlocks.
397
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:39,071
And so is, uh, Aunt Enchantra,
Aunt Hagatha, Cousin--
398
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,406
Oh, here, sweetheart.
399
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,308
You come over here
and stand still. all right?
400
00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:44,009
Yes, Mommy.
401
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:46,846
Ah, alrighty.
402
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,080
Darrin, are you ready?
403
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,615
Ready?
404
00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:50,783
Uh, ohh...
405
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,686
Excuse me.
406
00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:54,987
Ready for what?
407
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:57,456
To do our patriotic duty.
408
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:04,730
There go
three great Americans.
409
00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,967
[♪♪]
410
00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:17,543
Where are we?
411
00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:19,779
We're in protective custody.
412
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:24,517
That trailer is our new home,
and this is our recreation area.
413
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:25,818
How do you like it?
414
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:27,419
I hate it!
415
00:21:38,497 --> 00:21:41,834
Mrs. Stephens, Miss Stephens,
interrogation time.
416
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:43,035
Yes, sir.
417
00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:45,404
Come on, sweetheart.
418
00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:47,006
Why are they taking Tabatha?
419
00:21:47,006 --> 00:21:50,543
Because little American witches
grow into big American witches.
420
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:55,014
Goodbye, daddy.
I love you.
421
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:56,849
So do I.
422
00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:57,817
Bye-bye.
423
00:21:57,817 --> 00:21:58,951
Bye.
424
00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:24,810
Let me out!
Let me out!
425
00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:26,312
- Yes, sweetie.
- Let me out!
426
00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:28,380
Yes, I'll let you out
right this minute.
427
00:22:28,380 --> 00:22:30,349
Hekon zooma
Mylo smover
428
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,519
Your magic dream
Is now all over
429
00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:35,354
Samantha, come back!
430
00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,523
Come back from where?
431
00:22:38,891 --> 00:22:41,460
Oh. You're here.
432
00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:45,264
And I'm here.
433
00:22:45,264 --> 00:22:46,665
Where's Tabatha?
434
00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:49,235
She's in her bedroom. Why?
435
00:22:49,235 --> 00:22:52,037
Well, because...
436
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:53,806
Because I was, uh...
437
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,210
Oh, nothing.
438
00:22:58,210 --> 00:22:59,612
Oh, I just, uh...
439
00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,282
Nothing, goo--
440
00:23:03,282 --> 00:23:06,151
Good night, Sam.
441
00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:08,821
Good night, sweetheart.
442
00:23:08,821 --> 00:23:10,122
Pleasant dreams.
443
00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:27,740
Good morning, ladies.
444
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:30,209
Good morning,
sweetheart.
445
00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:31,210
Good morning, daddy.
446
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:32,544
Good morning.
447
00:23:34,146 --> 00:23:35,414
Here you go.
448
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:36,849
Thank you.
449
00:23:40,286 --> 00:23:41,253
How'd you sleep?
450
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:42,621
Like a tot.
451
00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:50,296
Darrin, I've been thinking
about what you said last night.
452
00:23:50,296 --> 00:23:51,864
What I said about what?
453
00:23:51,864 --> 00:23:54,600
About telling
the world our secret.
454
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:55,968
Let's do it.
455
00:23:55,968 --> 00:23:57,102
Honey, wait a second--
456
00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:58,137
I want to confess.
457
00:23:58,137 --> 00:24:01,173
I want to breathe the air
of truthfulness.
458
00:24:01,173 --> 00:24:02,241
But-- But-- But--
459
00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:03,275
Don't you?
460
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,310
No!
461
00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:05,878
I mean, uh...
462
00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:07,980
I like things
the way they are.
463
00:24:07,980 --> 00:24:09,581
We may have
our ups and downs,
464
00:24:09,581 --> 00:24:12,618
but by and large,
we're pretty happy.
465
00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:15,287
So let's not
rock the boat.
466
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,889
Okay?
467
00:24:18,924 --> 00:24:21,961
Well... Okay.
468
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:22,962
If you insist.
469
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,129
Oh, I insist.
470
00:24:26,398 --> 00:24:27,933
What made you
change your mind?
471
00:24:27,933 --> 00:24:31,303
Oh, you might say
I slept on it.
472
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:32,905
Slept on it?
473
00:24:32,905 --> 00:24:34,139
Yes.
474
00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:36,508
Oh.
475
00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:48,721
[♪♪]
31307
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