All language subtitles for Bewitched S04E25 To Twitch or Not to Twitch_track3_[eng]

Sam?

SAMANTHA:
Yes, sweetheart.

Please hurry,
will you, honey?

This client
doesn't fool around.

I wanna be
on time.

SAMANTHA:
I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying.

You almost ready?

Almost, sweetheart.

Are you kidding?

You're closer to going to sleep
than you are to being ready.

Oh, Darrin.

When a man lets his wife know
at the last minute

that they're going
to a formal dinner party

for a new
business associate,

that man has no right
to be annoyed.

Let's not discuss
the rights of man.

Let's just step on it.
On an hour's notice,

I had to contact
Mother to babysit.

She was late,
so I had to feed Tabatha,

and I had to press my dress
and set my hair.

At least you didn't
have to tote that barge

and lift that bale.

So count your blessings.

I'm gonna
pull the car out.

Don't strain yourself.

ENDORA:
So much for the second floor.

Would you like a...
cozy attic...

or a sun deck?

A sun deck.
Ah, ha, ha!

That's exactly
the way

I would have
designed it.

You have
superb taste.

Now, come on.

Oh!

May I talk to the architect
for a moment?

How many times
do I have to tell you,

no you-know-what
in front of Tabatha?

If you're going
to ask me to babysit

at the last minute,

it's going to be
on my terms.

Oh, no,
it won't.

You know perfectly well
that you-know-what

is forbidden
around here,

and as head
of this household,

I absolutely
will not tolerate it.

Tyrant!

Witch!

Ouch.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

Oh.

Oh, my brush.

Where did I put my brush?

Sam, please, we're late!

[CAR HORN HONKS]

[♪♪]

[DARRIN CLEARS THROAT]

How long have you been there?

Long enough.

I don't know why I bothered
pulling the car out.

Why don't we use your broom?

Darrin.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

Everybody driving
on this road tonight

managed to get here
without witchcraft.

I know that,
Darrin.

Everybody
at the dinner tonight

managed to dress
without witchcraft.

That's true.

And all
we poor mortals

manage to get through
every day of our lives

without witchcraft.

I-- I know.
I know, but--

No buts.
When we got married,

you promised to love,
honor and no witchcraft.

Well...I knew
you didn't wanna be late,

and so I just...
speeded things up a little.

I was hurrying for you.

For me?

Well, from now on,
kindly remember,

I don't need you
to use your witchcraft.

I don't want you
to use your witchcraft

under any
circumstances.

I don't want you--

[TIRE RUMBLING]

[SIGHS]

Flat tire.

Oh?

Must have
picked up a nail.

Guess so.

Good thing
I wasn't going fast.

Uh-huh.

Well...I'd better
go out and fix it.

Fine.

Boy, it sure is raining
out there.

Pouring.

I sure would
love to know

how I'm gonna
change that tire

in this rain.

Any suggestions?

Just like everybody else.

With a jack.

Oh.
Ha, ha, ha.

Oh, that's cute,
honey.

[BOTH LAUGH]

You know,

this is
what I would call

a very unusual
emergency.

And, under the circumstances,
I wouldn't object

to you using
a little, uh...

No.
Oh, no!

No, no, you were right.
Uh-huh.

Everybody manages
to get through

every day
of his life

without witchcraft.

Well, that's true.

And everybody
on this road tonight

got here
without witchcraft.

That's right.

And everybody
who gets a flat tire

on this road tonight

is going to change it
without witchcraft.

So, far be it from me,

under any
circumstances, to--

Okay, okay.
Forget it!

I'll do it myself.

Thank you.

Uh, no thanks,
I'm fine.

Tate, I'm leaving
my old advertising agency

for only one reason.

And do you know
what that is?

No, but I'd love to.

Too much talk,
not enough action.

Good reason,
Dwight.

I couldn't think
of a better one.

And I understand
your man Stephens

gives you
as much action

as you get
in the business.

Oh, he does.
He does.

Then where is he?
He's a half-hour late,

and I'm starving.

Mr. and Mrs.
Stephens.

Hi, Larry,
Louise.

Mr. and Mrs. Sharpe.

Darrin, what are you
doing in a wet tuxedo?

Freezing.

You see,
we had this flat tire

in the rain, and--

Well, that's
the sort of thing

that can't be helped.

Oh, it could have been helped,
all right.

Dwight,
Mr. Stephens

can't just stand
around like that.

No, he can't.

He's dripping
all over our rug.

Come on, Stephens.

Let's see if
we can't find you

some clothes
to change into.

And there
I stood

looking like
Smokey the Bear.

[ALL LAUGH]

Oh, that's very amusing,
Mr. Sharpe.

And then I remember
Gwen and I went fishing

on Lake Athabasca
up in Canada.

Beautiful spot.

Very romantic.

Dwight...I was never
on Lake Athabasca

in my life.

Oh?
[CLEARS THROAT]

Samantha, what's keeping
that husband of yours?

I laid out
a complete change for him.

Well, he's usually
a very fast dresser.

Perhaps I should go up, and--

DARRIN:
Why go up? Here I am.

[LAUGHING]

I'm glad I'm not
as tall as you, Stephens.

I'd look ridiculous
in my clothes.

Sam, maybe we'd better
make it another night.

Nonsense.
If you go home now,

you'll miss the rest
of Dwight's story.

What story?

The one about the trip
to Lake Athabasca...

that I didn't go on.

Ahem.

Darrin,
I never noticed before,

but you've got a great
pair of legs there.

Stephens, where's
your sense of humor?

I left it
out in the rain.

A laughingstock.

An absolute
laughingstock.

This evening
was a fiasco.

Well, calling Mr. Sharpe
"Shorty" didn't help.

He deserved it.

Well-- Well,
of course he did.

If he'd had the good sense
to be a few inches taller,

none of this
ever would have happened.

That's right.
Make jokes.

Well, you do look funny
in that little suit.

A tall man in a small suit
is classically funny.

It's been funny for centuries.

And you ought to know.

Are you making allusions
to my age?

If the allusion fits, wear it.

You are one step away

from making
Custer's Last Stand

look like a love-in.

It's all
your fault.

If you had fixed that tire
in the first place--

Let's not
go into that again.

Why not
go into it again?

It's the root
of the whole problem.

To twitch or not to twitch,
that is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler
in the mind

to suffer
the slings and arrows

of outrageous--
That's right.

Borrow from Shakespeare.

You probably
knew him personally.

There you go again.

Hinting about my age.

Well, it just so happens

that Shakespeare
was more of a gentleman

than you've been tonight.

For that matter,
so was Blue Beard.

And just how well
did you know Blue Beard?

Not as well as I
knew Henry VIII.

Sam?

Sam, where are you?!

I'm in the closet.

Ah, no.
Listen to me.

Don't do anything
you may regret later on.

Sam...where do you
think you're going?

Bowling.
That's not funny,

and you're not
leaving this house.

Tabatha and I

are going home
to Mother.

Just where
does a witch go

when she goes
home to Mother?

SAMANTHA:
That's for me to know

and you to find out.

Sam!

Sam, you're my wife,
and I demand

that you appear
before me.

Oh, Sam.

Sam?

DARRIN:
Good morning, Betty.

Good morning,
Mr. Stephens.

Have there been
any calls for me?

No, there haven't.

Uh, you sure there, uh,

hasn't been a call
from my wife?

I'm sorry,
Mr. Stephens,

but nobody called.

It's only 9:30.

Oh.

Oh, uh, right.

Oh, Darrin.

I'd like to see you
for a moment.

These go right out,
Betty.

[SIGHS]

Darrin, your behavior
last night

was inexcusable.

Please, Larry,
let's not

go over that again.
Again?

This is the first chance
I've had to mention it.

Dwight Sharpe
had it coming.

Just because a man
has it coming

doesn't mean you
have to give it to him.

Especially when a man
has a $500,000 account.

Exactly.
Uh-huh.

Larry, let's talk
about something else.

I've got more important
things on my mind.

Like what?
A $600,000 account?

Oh, please.

Well, fortunately for you,

I smooth-talked Sharpe
out of it

for the moment.
Well, thanks.

Thanks a lot.

What's the matter
with you, Darrin?

Hmm?

Oh, nothing.
I'm...just fine.

Sam okay?

Oh, she's fine.

Something wrong?

What could be wrong?

Why, when I left, she'd...

She was playing hide-and-seek
with the baby.

And when Sam hides,
she doesn't fool around.

♪ La la la la la
La la la ♪

Look how well
she sleeps up here.

It's this lovely,
smog-free air.

I suppose so.

Maybe I should
have fixed

that flat tire,
after all.

I think what you need,
my darling,

is to meet
someone new.

Take your mind
off dum-dum.

Mother,
I hope you're joking.

BETTY [ON INTERCOM]:
Mr. Sharpe is here.

Oh. Well, send him in.

Why would he want to see you?

Good to see you, Dwight.
Tate.

Darrin and I
were just talking

about last night,
and Darrin feels

he owes you
a tremendous apology.

He doesn't know what
got into him, you know.

Suddenly he found himself--
Tate, shut up.

Stephens, if there are
any apologies to be made,

I should make them.

As my wife pointed out
repeatedly last night,

I behaved
like a fool.

Well, I must admit,

I was a little bit
of a fool myself.

Nonsense. I baited you.

And I could have easily
sidestepped you.

Stephens.
Uh, Darrin,

if Dwight wants
to be the fool,

for heaven's sake,
let him.

Okay.

You're right.
You were wrong.

Good.

Now that that's settled,

I suggest we take
another crack at dinner.

Marvelous. I'd love to.

How about my place again?
Perfect.

Let's say tonight?
Let's.

Let's not.

What do you mean,
"Let's not"?

I thought you accepted
my apology.

I did.

Can't we just
let it go at that?

No.

I would like to apologize

to Mrs. Stephens, too.

Well, I'll call her
and give her your message.

I'd prefer
to apologize in person.

I'm afraid that
won't be possible tonight.

Of course
it's possible.

Larry, it isn't.

I mean, uh, uh,
my wife is, uh,

at her mother's,
and, uh--

Uh, Darrin, only two minutes
ago you told me

Sam was at home
with Tabatha.

Did I say that?
Mm-hmm.

Well, a person's
entitled

to change his mind,
isn't he?

Now, what's going on here?

Are you coming
to my place tonight, or not?

Oh, ho, ho.

We'll be there,
Dwight.

You can
count on that.

Let's say 8:00?
LARRY: 8:00 it is.

Good.
See you then.

See you tonight.

Why did you do that, Larry?

I told you
I can't make it.

Oh, yes, you can.

There's a $500,000 account
at stake, so believe me,

you'll make it.
Now, get in touch with Sam,

and we'll meet you
at the Sharpes' at 8...

Sharp!

[LAUGHS]

8:00 sharp at the Sharpes'.

Sam!

The phone, Darrin.

Try using the phone.

Samantha?

Oh,
Darrin.

Samantha?

You know,
Mother,

that fight we had
became ridiculous.

We go to the point
where we said things

we didn't even mean.

Sam, wherever you are,

I didn't mean it
when I said

the whole thing
was your fault.

I didn't mean it
when I said

he wasn't
a gentleman.

I-I didn't mean it
when I said

you knew Blue Beard.

It's all my fault
for not fixing

that silly tire.

Samantha,
it was all my fault

for not accepting you

as the sweet,
beautiful witch you are.

I was being willful and stubborn

and...definitely out of line.

I apologize.

I love you.

You please come home?

Darrin?

Oh.

Sweetheart, it was so small
of me not to fix that tire.

I don't know how I could
have been such a sorehead.

[BOTH GIGGLE]

Shh!
What?

Shh, not so loud.
You'll wake up Tabatha.

I just
put her to sleep.

BOTH:
Okay, you first.

[LAUGHING]

Okay, me first.
Yeah.

This whole thing
was my fault.

It was my fault,

and, if you're
willing,

let's forget
the whole thing.

Pretend that
it never happened.

It's forgotten.

And...then
we'll go to

a nice, quiet little
French restaurant,

sip some champagne
and celebrate.

Oh, that sounds
wonderful.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh...I'll--

I'll get it, sweetheart.
[LAUGHS]

Ooh, ha.

Darrin. Just dropped by
to make sure that you--

Oh, hi, Sam.
Hi, Larry.

Be seeing you
later, Sam.

Huh?

I'll be up
in a minute, sweetheart.

Larry, what are you
doing here?

I just wanted to
make sure that you

weren't going to blow
that dinner party

at the Sharpes' tonight.

I have no intention

of having dinner
with Mr. Sharpe.

Sam and I have plans.

I know you do.
With Louise and me

for dinner
at the Sharpes'.

I know Sam's home,
so you have no excuse.

Tonight is business.
Big business.

Larry, I tell you,
Samantha's not in the mood

for business.
Well, get her in the mood.

It's not
that simple.

There's trouble
in paradise.

[SCOFFS]
Mother.

Oh, Samantha,

when are you going
to wake up?

Don't you know
what you are to Dobbin?

Darrin.
A convenience.

A business asset.

Or, as the mortals say,
a meal ticket.

Mother, you have Darrin
all wrong.

As a matter of fact,

we're going to a little
French restaurant tonight

to celebrate
my homecoming.

And you
are babysitting.

If you are right,
I'm babysitting.

But, if you're wrong,

you, Tabatha and I
are cloud-sitting.

Deal?
Deal.

Good.

Listen to this.

LARRY:
You're a bright boy, Darrin.

You'll think of a way.

We'll see you and Samantha

at the Sharpes' tonight.

DARRIN:
Uh, Larry.

LARRY:
Darrin, two last words.

Be there.

You see.

Mother is
always right.

Don't be too sure.

I'll see you
on Cloud Eight.

Honey, why aren't
you getting ready?

Uh, ready?

For what?

For dinner.

Have you forgotten?

Not entirely.

What was it again, e-exactly?

Well...there was you
and me,

and...
And?

A bottle
of champagne

in a cozy
French restaurant.

Just the two of us?

Just the two of us.

Oh, Darrin.

Oh,
I love you.

Ah, ha, ha.

Oh.

Just the two of us?
Mm-hm.

Just the two of us.

That's right.
The same group.

Us, the Sharpes
and the Stephens.

LOUISE:
Oh, are we going to play

insult the guests again?

Louise, never mind
the sarcasm.

Just hurry up.

Uh...

sweetheart...

I have something
to tell you.

You see, I-I made
this dumb bet

with Mother.

Honey, I don't
want to talk

about your mother.

Well...

Um, honey?

What did Larry want?

He doesn't
come over

unless there's
a good reason.

And what did he mean
when he said,

"Be seeing
you later, Sam?"

Honey, I don't
want to talk

about Larry,
either.

This is our evening.

Well, sweetheart,

I wouldn't want
to stand in the way

of important
business.

There is nothing
more important than you.

Now, fix me a drink.

Larry, hurry
And get to the phone

Or you'll end up
At the Sharpes' alone.

Boy, if there's
one thing I can do,

it's make a dry--

I think I'll
call Darrin.

Larry, come fix
this clasp for me.

Look, it's broken.

Oceans are churning
Deserts are barren

Larry, won't you please
Call Darrin.

If you'd just hold
your wrist still--

I think I'll
call Darrin.

No, you don't.

Now, just stop
nagging those two.

And don't worry.
They'll be there tonight.

I think I'll wear
something else.

Maybe I'm being
a little too poetic.

Larry, pick up
that phone.

[RINGS]

Hello.

Oh, hi, Larry.

What a pleasant
surprise.

Uh-huh.

Well, sure
we'll be there.

Be where?

[WHISPERS]
Thank you.

Right.

8:00...

sharp
at the Sharpes'.

Ha, ha, ha.

Oh, yes, Larry,
that's very funny.

Uh, yeah, bye.

Larry called you
about tonight?

Went right
by me, huh?

Well, now, sweetheart,
I'm very glad he called.

No, I think it's
a wonderful opportunity

to straighten out
this whole mess

with the Sharpes.

Well, honey,
it's not up to you

to straighten it out.
It was all my fault.

No, it wasn't.
If I hadn't been such...

Darrin, it was my fault.
...a hothead about it.

If I'd fixed that tire--
If I hadn't rushed you--

Cheers.
Cheers.

The evening's
going to be

a tremendous
success.

I can
just feel it.

It's certainly
starting out right.

At least we're not
going to be late.

[GIGGLES]

Mmm, and it's
beautiful out.

There's even a moon.

Mm-hm.
And good tires.

I had them checked
on the way home from work.

Aw, you think
of everything, don't you?

[CAR BUCKS]
Almost everything.

We're out of gas.

Oh, Darrin.

And the last
gas station

was at least
five miles back.

Not necessarily.

Sweetheart,
look.

It's funny, I never
noticed that before.

Neither did I.

Isn't it amazing
how quickly

they build things
nowadays.

[LAUGHING]
Yeah.

[♪♪]