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1
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:07,207
Sweetheart...I'm starting
the pancakes.
2
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:09,576
DARRIN:
Be right there.
3
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:10,577
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
4
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:13,013
Oh...
Tabatha.
5
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,616
I hate to smother
another creative urge,
6
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,017
but, ew...
7
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:21,154
Oatmeal is for eating,
not for finger painting.
8
00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:23,023
Just a minute.
Ew.
9
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,992
[BACK DOORBELL
BUZZES]
10
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:26,894
Uh, could you wait
a minute, please?
11
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,295
There's someone
at the door.
12
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,297
Now remember, we're going
to Dr. McDonald's.
13
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:34,401
And he's gonna weigh you.
So put some of that food inside.
14
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:35,335
Gas company.
15
00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,004
I'm just gonna check
the meter out here.
16
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,272
Oh, fine.
17
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,140
Always like to inform
people of my presence.
18
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,775
Don't want to be taken
for a prowler.
19
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,010
Yeah, no.
That's a good idea.
20
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,711
If I'm gonna get shot,
I want it to be
21
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,213
for a good reason.
22
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,748
Yes, uh, could you
excuse me?
23
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,483
I have someone
on the phone.
24
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,320
[FRONT DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, for Pete's sake.
25
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,422
Can you hang on for
just a moment, please?
26
00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:57,224
Eat.
27
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,593
DARRIN'S VOICE:
Who was that on the phone?
28
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,295
I don't know yet.
29
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,898
Would you like to have
your lawn mowed, ma'am?
30
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,400
Well, uh...
31
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,902
Darrin!
There's a boy here.
32
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,837
Do you want
the lawn mowed?
33
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,172
I'm very cheap.
34
00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:14,574
Tell him no thanks.
It has to be reseeded.
35
00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:18,211
I can reseed it,
if you tell me how.
36
00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:21,248
If I knew how,
I'd do it myself.
37
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,284
Got something burning?
38
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:27,321
[GASPS]
The pancakes.
39
00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:35,862
[ANGRILY]
Sam!
40
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,768
What was that
with the pancakes?
41
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:42,970
Why, um--
42
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,204
Oh, uh,
Darrin,
43
00:01:44,204 --> 00:01:46,506
I simply have to
answer that phone.
44
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,509
Hello?
45
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:52,145
I'm sorry to have kept
you waiting.
46
00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:54,514
Is this what?
47
00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:58,986
The Institute
for Domestic Harmony?
48
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:01,154
[GIGGLES]
Boy, have you got
49
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:03,256
a wrong number.
50
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,466
[CLICK]
51
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,470
[♪♪]
52
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,641
[♪♪]
53
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,618
Millions of wives
all over the country
54
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:07,788
manage to cope with pancakes
in a normal way.
55
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,289
Why can't you?
56
00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:10,457
I told you.
57
00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:12,225
I didn't want them
to burn.
58
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:14,127
I see. You wanted me
to burn instead.
59
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,129
All right.
All right.
60
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,497
Next time I won't
answer the phone,
61
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,267
and anyone who comes
to the door can go hang.
62
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,235
You've always got
some excuse, haven't you?
63
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:24,104
Darrin, I have to
get Tabatha ready
64
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,105
to go to the doctor.
65
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,373
Now, I said I'm sorry.
66
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,407
What more can I do?
67
00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:28,975
You can live up
to your promise.
68
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:30,677
I try.
69
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,245
Not hard enough.
70
00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:35,115
Darrin...why don't you
go to work?
71
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:37,584
I'll go when
I'm good and ready,
72
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,886
which, fortunately
for both of us,
73
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,421
is right now.
74
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,095
Okay.
75
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:51,565
Now, remember...when we get
to Dr. McDonald's office,
76
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:54,935
it's one balloon and
one lollipop, okay?
77
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:57,737
Two balloons and two lollipops.
78
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:01,007
How about no balloons
and no lollipops?
79
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,877
One balloon and one lollipop.
80
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,850
[RINGS DOORBELL]
81
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,785
[SIGHS]
82
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,656
Thought there was supposed
to be somebody home here.
83
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,158
Search me.
84
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,859
You sure this is
the right place?
85
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:55,595
One-six-two.
86
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:58,865
One-six-two.
87
00:04:58,865 --> 00:05:00,433
Well, let's get started.
88
00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:02,702
They'll probably show up
before we leave.
89
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:39,639
I told you to go
at the doctor's.
90
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,557
I don't get it.
91
00:05:57,557 --> 00:05:59,359
They were supposed to
be here hours ago.
92
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,527
I hope they got lost.
93
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,761
Are you gonna
start that again?
94
00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:04,397
Sue me. I like
real grass.
95
00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,466
I'm telling you
this stuff looks real.
96
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:07,801
It even feels real.
97
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,336
Only you don't
have to water it,
98
00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:10,503
weed it or mow it.
99
00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:13,073
I happen to like
the way grass smells
100
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,374
when it's freshly mowed.
101
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,043
Well, you wouldn't
if you had to mow it.
102
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,862
Hi, Mr. Stephens.
103
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:38,465
That's a groovy-looking
lawn you got there.
104
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:39,933
Thanks.
105
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,536
It is?
106
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,010
Wait till
your Daddy hears
107
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,811
what a good report
we got from the doctor.
108
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:54,347
He's going to be very proud
of his little girl.
109
00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,716
Big girl.
110
00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:57,984
Well, yeah,
that's right.
111
00:06:57,984 --> 00:06:59,953
You did grow
three-eighths of an inch.
112
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:04,257
Now, here.
Take one sip for Mommy.
113
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:08,461
And one sip
for Daddy.
114
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:12,666
Oh, Sam!
115
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,467
I know that tone.
116
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,569
Better make it
two sips for Daddy.
117
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:27,480
You're home early,
sweetheart.
118
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,382
Sam, if you're looking
for an argument,
119
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,384
I'm too tired.
Pardon?
120
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,620
I'll admit I went
a little bit overboard
121
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,954
about the pancakes this morning.
122
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,891
But that's still no reason
to rub my nose in it.
123
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:39,192
In the pancakes?
124
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,794
No, in your witchcraft.
125
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,729
Now, I'm even willing to believe
126
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,764
that you were trying
to save me some money.
127
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:47,267
But, I would like it
clearly understood
128
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:50,170
that either I can
afford something or I can't.
129
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,372
If I can't, I can't.
130
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:56,009
Well, uh, that certainly
makes sense.
131
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:58,011
But nothing else
you're saying does.
132
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,447
What on earth are you
talking about?
133
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:02,082
Mm.
134
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:09,222
That.
135
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,261
Where did that
come from?
136
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,330
Sam, please. Cut it out.
137
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,065
You mean, you think
I did this?
138
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,835
No. I think thousands
of elves arrived,
139
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,404
each with a blade
of grass, and planted it.
140
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,572
Very funny.
141
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:26,740
Well, this isn't.
142
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,376
Darrin, I had nothing
to do with it.
143
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:32,078
Then who did?
144
00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:35,515
This isn't even
real grass.
145
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,417
That only proves
that even a witch
146
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,785
isn't perfect.
147
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:41,821
Ugh!
148
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,960
One of us has to be
big about this.
149
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,962
Now, I'll admit I was too hard
on you this morning
150
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:51,264
If you admit you were
trying to get back at me
151
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,500
by zapping in
that lawn.
152
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,135
Pass the lamb chops,
please.
153
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,237
Afraid I'll get sore?
I promise I won't.
154
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,472
The lamb chops, please.
155
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:01,141
You're entitled to
an emotional upset,
156
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,243
just like any
other woman in the world.
157
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,745
Af--
158
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:09,883
Another act of defiance, huh?
159
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,720
Why couldn't you
just ask me to pass it?
160
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,221
What's the difference?
161
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:18,925
I might as well be hung
for a lamb chop as a lawn.
162
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,167
Sam, believe me,
163
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:28,668
you'll sleep
much better
164
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:32,138
if you'll just admit it
once and for all.
165
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:35,775
Darrin...I would like
to make a statement.
166
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:38,878
You mean, you're ready
to tell the truth?
167
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:41,247
Yes.
Well, I'm listening.
168
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:46,619
The truth is, I am up to here
with that stupid grass.
169
00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:47,987
I would like desperately
170
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,390
not to hear
another word about it.
171
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:53,493
And I would like
to go to sleep.
172
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,994
I see.
173
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:58,331
Okay, I won't say
anything more.
174
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,333
Thank you.
175
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,001
Except for this.
176
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:05,338
Even if you won't admit it...
I forgive you.
177
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,640
That's very generous.
178
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,542
But if it's all
the same to you,
179
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:14,781
I do not want to be forgiven
for something I didn't do.
180
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,717
And I am going to bed.
181
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:20,353
Will you take care
of one thing first?
182
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:23,056
Get rid of it.
183
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,324
All right.
184
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:35,068
Thunder, dunder
Seven-day wonder
185
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,736
Look below
And see this blunder
186
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,605
Spirits all who
Roam the night
187
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,774
Take this greenery
From my sight
188
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:44,711
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
189
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,201
See.
190
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,970
Don't you feel better
now that you've admitted it?
191
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,016
Sorehead.
192
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,193
Thanks.
193
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:06,159
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[GASPS]
194
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,863
[GROANS]
195
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:13,866
[SIGHS]
196
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:23,643
Hate to bother you
so early, but, uh,
197
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,478
what happened to it?
198
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,248
I, uh--
199
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:30,416
What?
200
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,485
Our grass.
201
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:35,488
Grass?
202
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:38,558
Uh, who, uh--
Who are you?
203
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:41,294
Uh, that's--
That's who we are.
204
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,834
Artificial grass?
205
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,103
Like he never
heard of it.
206
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,871
That turf we
laid down yesterday
207
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:53,439
is worth
2,000 bucks.
208
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,508
What'd you do
with it?
209
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,877
Uh, well, uh, let me, um--
210
00:12:57,877 --> 00:12:59,445
Uh, who told you
to put it, uh--
211
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,180
Why did you deliver it here?
212
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:05,184
Because you've got the wrong
number on your house is why.
213
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:10,957
Oh, no.
214
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,292
Oh, yes, indeedy.
215
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,661
Well, uh...
216
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:15,595
[LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY]
217
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,030
Naturally, uh,
you're surprised.
218
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,297
Uh, frankly, so am I.
219
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,199
You see, I thought that
my wife put that--
220
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:23,936
Uh, that is, when we
realized it was a mistake,
221
00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:26,372
uh, my wife
took it away.
222
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,241
Your wife?
223
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,843
Your wife picked up 1,500
square feet of grass?
224
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:33,212
Well, not her,
uh, personally.
225
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:34,814
Naturally, she had,
uh, help.
226
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,082
But you don't care
about that.
227
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:37,784
You just want your
grass back, right?
228
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:38,451
That's right.
229
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:41,387
I'll see that you
get your grass back.
230
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:43,723
You know, you're not
making too much sense.
231
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:45,325
Oh, he is to me.
232
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,828
He's got it stashed somewhere
and he's gonna sell it.
233
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,229
That's ridiculous.
234
00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:53,266
You, uh, check with me later,
and I'll give you
235
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,134
further details.
236
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:02,508
Who was that
at the door?
237
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,245
Uh, heh,
uh, wrong number.
238
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:07,413
What?
239
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,549
I mean, wrong address.
240
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,852
Uh, Sam, I've been thinking.
241
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,188
Last night I jumped to
a conclusion.
242
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:18,357
I was wrong.
I'm sorry.
243
00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:20,460
Who was at the door?
244
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:24,630
Oh, uh, j-just a couple
of men looking for, uh...
245
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:27,467
Sam, the truth is, that grass
was put in by mistake.
246
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:30,336
It's worth $2,000, and
I'm responsible for it.
247
00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:31,871
I see.
248
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,039
Sam, they're coming back.
249
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,941
They expect to find
that grass.
250
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:36,342
You realize, of course,
251
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,711
that I'll have to use
witchcraft to get it back.
252
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,114
Of course.
253
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,182
And suddenly,
that doesn't bother you?
254
00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:45,551
Sure, it does.
But what else can I do?
255
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,086
I don't know.
256
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:48,988
Why can't you just cope
with the situation,
257
00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:50,923
like any other
mortal husband.
258
00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:52,492
Because your average
mortal husband
259
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,727
doesn't have a wife
who can remove a whole lawn.
260
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:58,131
And she doesn't have a husband
who is inconsistent.
261
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:00,900
Sam, this is no time
to start an argument.
262
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,668
I see.
263
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:04,470
When would be
the best time?
264
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:07,006
Are you going
to cooperate or not?
265
00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:08,941
I haven't
made up my mind.
266
00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:11,477
The other alternative
is to pay the $2,000,
267
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,780
and you can cut down on
your household expenses.
268
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:16,582
I Just made up my mind.
269
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:17,650
Oh, Sam.
270
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,051
Oh, thank you.
271
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:21,053
And I'll make it up to you.
I promise.
272
00:15:21,053 --> 00:15:22,755
I'll even be nice
to your mother.
273
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,323
I may get ill,
but I'll do it.
274
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,759
You can begin by
not insulting her.
275
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,995
I didn't insult
the old warhorse.
276
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:42,308
It's okay.
Go on, go on.
277
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:50,283
Hallow, fallow, rooster's cry
As the sun climbs in the sky
278
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,819
Spirit of light
Bring back the lawn
279
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,955
That these mortal
fools did spawn.
280
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:00,693
What, uh--
What's wrong?
281
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,161
I don't know.
282
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:04,330
Are you sure you've got
the right spell?
283
00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:05,464
Positive.
284
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,700
Someone must be
counteracting it.
285
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,435
But who?
286
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:22,815
"Let the dumb cluck
bail himself out."
287
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,351
Signed, the Old Warhorse.
288
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,120
Oh, Darrin.
289
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:32,458
Well...that's the last time
I try to be nice to her.
290
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:43,369
Sam, the only way
I got rid of those guys
291
00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:45,137
was by telling them
I'd check with my wife.
292
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,873
What do I tell them
the next time?
293
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,708
My wife is checking
with her mother?
294
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,376
Sweetheart,
I'm sorry.
295
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,411
But you shouldn't have
offended her.
296
00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:53,946
Now, if she doesn't
take off that counterspell,
297
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:56,082
I can't do anything
about the lawn.
298
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,683
[DOORBELL RINGS]
299
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,385
You see who it is.
300
00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:01,621
I'll keep trying
to contact Mother.
301
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:13,666
My name's MacLane.
I live up the street.
302
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:15,568
Oh, and
my name's--
303
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:16,369
I know. I know.
304
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,571
What did you do
with my grass?
305
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,106
Oh. Um...
306
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:21,474
You're the one who--
Yeah.
307
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,510
They told me they
installed it here by mistake.
308
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,445
And why have you got
my numbers on your house?
309
00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:29,248
Oh, uh, well,
they're not the same.
310
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,550
It's, uh, loose,
uh, see?
311
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,920
Funny coincidence,
isn't it?
312
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,555
Not to me, it isn't.
313
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:36,689
Where did it go?
314
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,591
Well, uh, the whole thing's
a mystery to me.
315
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:39,525
The whole thing.
316
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,327
But you're welcome
to look around.
317
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:42,762
I'm sure I don't
have it.
318
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:45,164
But the company told me
they delivered it here.
319
00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:46,165
Now, wait a minute.
320
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:47,600
Before you go making
allegations,
321
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,468
I think you better see
a lawyer, and furthermore--
322
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:52,004
[BIKE BELL RINGS]
Hey, Mr. Stephens.
323
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:53,973
What happened to
that beautiful green lawn
324
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:55,641
you had yesterday?
325
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:02,882
Oh, you better tell me what
happened to my lawn, buddy.
326
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:03,516
N-now, wait.
327
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,384
Uh, don't do anything that
you'll regret later on.
328
00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:08,988
Uh, things like this are never
solved by physical force.
329
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:09,755
I think I should
warn you
330
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,390
that I fought as
a middleweight in the navy.
331
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:14,327
And I make it a rule
never to fight out of my class.
332
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:19,265
[GASPS]
Good grief.
333
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:20,733
Well, you're gonna have
to change your rule,
334
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:23,536
because I'm gonna bust you
right in the bazoo.
335
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,371
[GASPS]
336
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:28,307
Ow!
337
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,544
Just you wait, boy.
338
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,212
I'm not only going to
get you for theft,
339
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:35,881
I'm gonna sue you
for assault and battery.
340
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:45,658
Sweetheart,
are you all right?
341
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,059
Yes. And thanks, Sam.
342
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:48,294
You're a great referee.
343
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:50,229
Any luck with your mother?
344
00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:51,998
Oh, she's just
being obstinate.
345
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:53,566
What are we
gonna do?
346
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:56,602
I was thinking about that,
between punches.
347
00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:59,939
We've got to try
something drastic.
348
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:02,642
Come on.
349
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,644
Darrin, I'm not sure
this makes sense.
350
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:06,812
Why not?
351
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,448
Your mother's counterspell
only applies to our lawn.
352
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:11,517
It won't stop you from putting
that artificial grass
353
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:13,285
where it was supposed to go
in the first place.
354
00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:14,286
It's simple logic.
355
00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:15,755
Yeah, but how are you
going to explain
356
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,957
how it got there?
That's the best part.
357
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:20,259
I won't.
That big ox will.
358
00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:22,962
Okay.
Let her rip.
359
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:26,499
Hallow, fallow, rooster's cry
As the sun climbs in the sky
360
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,234
And the spirits
Of the day are seen
361
00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:31,637
Change this lawn
To verdant green.
362
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,409
You see? It worked.
It worked.
363
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:37,743
I'm off the hook.
364
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,045
Pretty good job,
huh?
365
00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:39,779
It's beautiful.
366
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:41,714
This artificial grass
is the greatest.
367
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,783
Maybe we should
get some for our lawn.
368
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,117
Sam.
369
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,720
Well, I meant
the regular way.
370
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,687
You know
something?
371
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:50,189
If I didn't know
it was artificial,
372
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,691
I would be
willing to bet--
373
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,692
Sam.
Huh?
374
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:54,727
It is real grass.
375
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,529
What?
376
00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:59,265
Oh my goodness.
377
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:00,633
Maybe you used
the wrong spell?
378
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:03,869
Or, maybe I can't produce
artificial grass,
379
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,237
only the real thing.
380
00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:07,039
What kind of sense
does that make?
381
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,841
Quick,
before somebody--
382
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:10,643
Elvira!
383
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,945
We've got our lawn.
Come here, quick.
384
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:18,217
Elvira,
where are you?
385
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,220
I'm coming.
I'm coming.
386
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:23,022
When did they
put it in?
387
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,657
MR. MACLANE: It must have been
while we were arguing.
388
00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:27,193
How about that?
Is that terrific?
389
00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,795
I told you before
and I'll tell you again.
390
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,931
I like real grass.
391
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,232
Are you gonna
stand there
392
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,034
and tell me that
doesn't look real?
393
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:36,669
Not to me, it doesn't.
394
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,775
It even feels real.
395
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,043
Is that clever?
396
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:47,346
They have crabgrass in it to
make it look more realistic.
397
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:52,118
It even smells like
real grass.
398
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:53,552
Here. Look at it.
Feel it.
399
00:20:53,552 --> 00:20:56,856
It's your grass.
You feel it.
400
00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:00,493
Boy, are you stubborn.
401
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:02,928
Quick, Sam.
402
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:04,530
While they're inside,
make some artificial grass.
403
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:06,332
I'm not sure I can.
Try?
404
00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:08,100
W-well, all right.
Let me think a minute.
405
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,102
We may not have a minute.
406
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,403
I think I've
got it.
407
00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:12,638
Yeah, I hope.
408
00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:15,341
Philisin, Follisin
Spirits that fly
409
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:16,542
Let me give it
Another try
410
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,344
Replace this velvety
Carpet of green
411
00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:20,913
With artificial grass
Of waxen sheen.
412
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:29,121
Huh?
Nothing happened.
413
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,357
Well, it's a little
hard to tell.
414
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,394
Ha-ha.
415
00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:38,164
For your information,
this is genuine
416
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:40,366
artificial grass.
417
00:21:40,366 --> 00:21:42,034
Honey, that's great.
418
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,269
I knew you could do it.
419
00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:45,437
Now, let's get
out of here before--
420
00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:49,608
Come out here and really
look at it this time.
421
00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:52,178
This is even better than
the samples they showed me.
422
00:21:52,178 --> 00:21:53,746
Now, now bend down
and feel it.
423
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:55,948
[SIGHS]
424
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:57,082
Well?
425
00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:59,285
This feels like
real grass?
426
00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:00,553
Ah, you won't
admit it, huh?
427
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:02,588
I'll only admit
one thing.
428
00:22:02,588 --> 00:22:05,391
You've been drinking
too much beer.
429
00:22:05,391 --> 00:22:08,994
Stubborn!
That's what you are.
430
00:22:10,729 --> 00:22:12,665
I think we started
a family feud.
431
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,567
Sweetheart, I have news
for you.
432
00:22:14,567 --> 00:22:16,869
That feud started
the day they got married.
433
00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:19,672
Did I ever tell you,
you're not only talented,
434
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:21,574
but loveable?
[GIGGLES]
435
00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:25,077
Mm! Darrin, please,
there's a robin watching us.
436
00:22:25,077 --> 00:22:26,078
So what?
437
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:28,714
Let him get his own girl.
438
00:22:39,391 --> 00:22:41,327
Darrin,
this is silly.
439
00:22:41,327 --> 00:22:42,695
No, it isn't.
440
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:44,730
It's the least I can do
to make up for yesterday.
441
00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:46,732
[LAUGHS]
Well, okay.
442
00:22:46,732 --> 00:22:48,701
Um, I think I'll
pour the coffee
443
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:50,336
while I'm waiting
for the pancakes.
444
00:22:50,336 --> 00:22:51,971
Ah, no, you don't.
445
00:22:51,971 --> 00:22:53,439
Not in my restaurant.
446
00:22:53,439 --> 00:22:54,940
[DOORBELL RINGS]
447
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:56,942
I'll get it.
Uh...
448
00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:07,019
SAM:
Darrin!
449
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:10,256
He's in a very
generous mood this morning.
450
00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:12,925
Sweetheart...
guess who's back?
451
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,829
Oh, hi there.
452
00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:18,631
I noticed your lawn
didn't look any better
453
00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:19,865
than it did yesterday.
454
00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:22,468
Don't you want me
to reseed it?
455
00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:25,004
Okay, pal.
You got a deal.
456
00:23:25,004 --> 00:23:26,739
Gee, thanks a lot.
457
00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:28,340
I'll do a real
good job.
458
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:30,376
I got this book on
how to do it, see?
459
00:23:30,376 --> 00:23:31,644
I see.
460
00:23:31,644 --> 00:23:33,345
Well, I'll start
right after school.
461
00:23:33,345 --> 00:23:34,346
Bye.
462
00:23:34,346 --> 00:23:36,048
Bye-bye.
463
00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:38,951
Cute.
464
00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:40,019
So are you.
465
00:23:40,019 --> 00:23:41,887
That was very sweet.
466
00:23:41,887 --> 00:23:43,489
Well, what's
the sense kidding?
467
00:23:43,489 --> 00:23:45,157
I'm a sweetheart.
468
00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:47,426
Sweetheart.
Mmm.
469
00:23:48,727 --> 00:23:51,930
Mm. Now, Darrin.
Darrin, you better stop.
470
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:54,099
You'll be late for--
471
00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:57,436
The pancakes!
Oh, my gosh.
472
00:24:00,372 --> 00:24:01,640
Are they ruined?
473
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,442
I'll take a look.
474
00:24:04,143 --> 00:24:05,511
[WINCES]
475
00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:07,913
How do you feel about
charcoal-broiled pancakes?
476
00:24:07,913 --> 00:24:10,249
Sweetheart,
why don't you sit down
477
00:24:10,249 --> 00:24:12,084
and let me
make breakfast?
478
00:24:12,084 --> 00:24:15,054
Okay. Okay.
479
00:24:21,694 --> 00:24:24,263
And thank you, Sam,
for letting them burn.
480
00:24:24,263 --> 00:24:26,265
Don't you worry,
sweetheart.
481
00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:28,467
I've learned my lesson.
482
00:24:43,515 --> 00:24:45,884
[MOUTHS]
I love you.
483
00:24:45,884 --> 00:24:47,186
[KISS]
484
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,796
[♪♪]
32979
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