All language subtitles for Bewitched S04E21 Hippie, Hippie, Hooray_track3_[eng]

[♪♪]

Oh, my stars!

"The Purple Panthers,
a motorcycle gang,

"invaded a peaceful love-in
last night at Union Park,

causing a riot.

When the police arrived--"

Coffee ready?

All poured.

I'll get
the toast.

Uh, just coffee
this morning, honey.

Oh.

I can't figure this one out.
What, dear?

It's supposed to be a picture
of some trouble at a love-in.

Oh.

Well, maybe it was out of sight.

Mm-hm.

May I have my paper, please?

Oh, ha-ha.

Oh, never mind.
I'm late anyhow.

Aw.

Bye, hon.
Bye-bye, sweetheart.

Bye.

[DOOR CLOSING]

Was this
trip necessary?

Yes. And it's just a
local stop on your way back

to your freak-out
in Soho.

Sam, why are ya bugging me?

I was having a perfectly
groovy time in jail.

Ho!

I know.

I was leading my cellmates
in a love chant.

Serena. I read all about your
escapades in the paper.

And if it hadn't been for
a little artful dodging,

Darrin would have too.

So?

Well, it's just
that, um...

Darrin's a little
old-fashioned

about some things.

But, Sammy.

I'm preaching
one of the most

old-fashioned
things around.

Love, love, love.

TABATHA:
Hi.

Hi, Auntie Serena.

Oh, Tabatha, sweetie.

Oh, Sammy,
she misses me.

Auntie Serena
play music?

Of course Auntie Serena
will play for you.

Not now, Serena.

Why don't you come back
a little later?

Say, about, ten years later.

It's a good thing
I know you're kidding.

Come on, Tabatha.

Auntie Serena
will teach you

a little
"Rock-a-Bye Baby"

to a rock-'n'-roll beat.

[GUITAR PLAYING]

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

Louise?
Mm-hm?

How long is it since
you've seen Samantha?

Oh gosh,
about a month.

In fact, I was
thinking of calling

to find out what
she's been up to.

I think
I can tell you.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

I can't believe it.

Well, neither can I.

That can't be Samantha.

No? Then who is it?

You will never convince me
that one of my best friends,

if not my very best friend,
has suddenly become a hippie.

Not so suddenly.

You just said you hadn't
seen her for a month.

Well, a person
can't change

their entire character
in a month.

Really?
You changed yours in a day.

What?

The day we got married.

Do you have any idea

what this kind of publicity
could cost McMann and Tate?

Larry, it's all right

if you make a fool of yourself
in front of me.

I married you,
for better or for worse.

But promise me you won't say
a word to Darrin.

Are you kidding?

Gimme credit
for a little sense.

Good morning.

Morning.

How's Samantha?

Fine.
Good.

It's been so long since Louise
and I have seen you and Sam, uh,

I wondered if you'd like to

get together for
a little bridge tonight.

At your place.

You're invited.

Fine.

Now can we discuss
the Giddings tractor account?

Uh, tomorrow.

But Giddings
is coming in tomorrow.

I want to know whether or not
I'm handling his account.

I said tomorrow.
Ha-ha.

Now, let's not talk business
during office hours, huh?

Bye-bye.
See you tonight.

[♪♪]

Um...why did he have
to pick tonight?

I don't know.

He just kind of
invited himself.

I didn't know how
to get out of it.

Well, uh, sweetheart,
I-I love having them.

It's just that...

Well, tonight's
a little awkward.

Well, why?
Did you ask someone else?

[GUITAR PLAYING]

♪ Rock-a-bye baby
To a rock-'n'-roll beat ♪

♪ Your pa is at the discotheque
Waggin' his seat ♪

♪ Your ma's stringin' beads
From her head to her feet ♪

♪ So rock-a-bye baby
To a rock-'n'-roll beat ♪

Cute, huh?

Serena!

You called, oh, square one?

What are you
doing here?

Uh, she-- She was singing
Tabatha a lullaby.

That's a lullaby?

Number one on the charts.

Where you been?

I'll tell you
where I've been.

I've been
under the impression

that it was perfectly
clear to you

that you're not
welcome in this house.

Watch it, sweetheart.
No, I'll handle this.

As far as
Tabatha's concerned...

I forbid you
to sing any more

of your
so-called lullabies.

Cousin-in-law.

When you use words
like "forbid"

to me, smile.

I was perfectly happy
coolin' it in the cooler,

till Sam zapped me out.

You were what?

Uh, it isn't important,
sweetheart.

Aw, don't put me down, cuz.

It was important enough
for my picture

to be on the front page
of the paper.

Now I get it.

"Riot at Love-In."

You zapped
her picture

out of the paper
this morning.

Well, um,
I didn't want you

to worry, sweetheart.
And that explains Larry.

He must have seen
that picture too.

He thought it was you.
No wonder he kept asking,

"How's Samantha?"

[LAUGHING]

And that
kook laughs.

What'd you call me?

Kook!

Sammy.

Does Tabatha like artichokes?
Now, Serena--

Tell him
he's going too far, Sammy.

Darrin,
you're going too far.

I'll go even farther.

By suggesting
that you go a little farther.

Like back
where ya flew from.

Someday, you'll say
you're sorry.

Oh, Serena,
he didn't...mean it.

Oh, Darrin, I wish
you hadn't done that.

It worked, didn't it?

She's gone.

[GIGGLING]

But not for long.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hi, Louise.
Larry.

Hi, Samantha.
Hi.

Well,
come on in.

It's been
too long.

Darrin's helping me
fix some snacks.

We'll only
be a moment.

Let me have
your coats.

Fix yourselves
a drink.

See how wrong
you were, Larry?

You were wrong.
Admit it.

Okay,
I was wrong.

But you'll
have to admit,

whoever it was
sure looked like...

[♪♪]

Samantha.

Where have we
seen that before?

Like in this
morning's paper?

Sweetheart,
there are mornings

when you don't get
a chance to read the paper.

Now, this could have been
one of those mornings for Larry.

So, why bring it up
if it isn't necessary?

Why?

Well,
what of it?

Lots of people
have guitars.

But not
too many guitars

have all that
psychotic paint on them.

That's
psychedelic.

Shh.
Put it down.

Sam, Darrin,

I was
just wondering--

Before we get started,
why don't we watch

our Springer Pet Food
commercial.

It's on just after
the news.

Good idea.

Fine.

Oh, you don't have
your drinks.

I'll get them.

Uh, how about the boys
playing the girls tonight, huh?

NEWSCASTER: And for our
final human predicament

we switch our scene
to the county jail,

where the elite
of hippie society

is now
in residence.

Hippies and the police

have had an active
relationship in the past,

but nothing
quite as active as today,

when the high priestess
of the movement

did a vanishing act
from the jail cell

that would have
baffled Houd--.

Darndest thing.

Uh, Samantha's cousin,
Serena, turned hippie.

Oh, her cousin, eh?

We do look very much alike.

Do you?

Deal.

Uh, heh-heh. Right.

Five-card stud.

Jacks or better to open.

Darrin, we're playing bridge.

Oh, right.

They just look alike.

They always have looked alike.

They always will
look alike.

It's one of mother nature's
nasty little tricks.

But Sam is Sam,
and Serena is Serena.

And Sam couldn't be Serena
if she tried, and vice versa.

I'd like to believe you, Darrin.

Why would I lie to you?

If Louise turned hippie,
I'd lie to you.

And I'd understand.

But in this case, it just
doesn't happen to be true.

Scout's honor?

That's a load
off my mind.

And to show you
what kind of a sport I am

for making a mistake,
I accept your apology...

If you'll accept mine.

[LAUGHING]

Okay, joke's over.

Mr. Giddings will be here
any minute.

Every man in the office
is after this account,

but you're going to get it.
And you know why?

Why?

Because you speak his language.

Language?

I hope he isn't Italian,
I've been through that.

He's early American.

All the old-fashioned virtues.

Man of the soil,
all that nonsense.

[PAGER BUZZES]

It's probably him.
Yes?

SECRETARY:
Mr. Giddings is waiting

in your office, Mr. Tate.

Thank you.

I'll go get him, set him up.

Then it's your bale of hay.
So start pitching.

Darrin, say howdy
to Mr. Giddings.

Darrin Stephens.

Howdy, sir.
Howdy.

Won't you
sit down, sir.

Thank you.

Uh, Tate here
tells me

that you were brought up
on a farm.

That's right, sir.

Good.

Family man, I suppose.

Indeed he is.

Darrin's married
to a fine, young,

early-American type lady.

Bakes her own bread.

Right in the old stone hearth.

Home-baked bread?

Well, Mr. Stephens,
you're a very lucky man.

[CHUCKLING]

[PAGER BUZZES]

Yes?
Mr. Stephens, your wife is here

to join you for lunch.

My wife?

I didn't have a date
with Samantha.

Just tell her to run along.

Since when does a wife
have to make a date

with her husband?

I'd be mighty pleased
to have her go along.

Send her in.

Home-baked bread, huh?

[CHUCKLING]

[♪♪]
Hi, sugar!

Pops.

This is a girl
who bakes her own bread?

Now,
cut that out.

Uh, Mr. Giddings,
Larry, thi--

Have you flipped?

Since when do ya
have to introduce me

to Snow White
and Handsome?

Stop it, Sam.

This is Mr. Giddings,
of Giddings Tractor.

Oh!

Giddings Tractor
and his Psychedelic Six.

Man, I play your records
all the time.

Tate, is she out of her mind?

Compliments
will get you everywhere,

you old charmer.

Please, Serena.

This is no place
for games.

You're making a fool
of yourself.

He's blown
his cool.

Always does
when he's hungry.

Oh, hey, listen.

I know a groovy little beanery
called the Double Bubble.

Cut it out, Sam.
A joke's a joke.

She's not Sam.
She's Serena.

[GASPING]

Oh!

Mr. Giddings.

What do you think
of a man

who denies knowing
his own wife?

Well, under certain
circumstances, young lady,

I can, uh--
I can understand it.

Why are you doing it, Sam?

Man, that straight life
can be a drag.

A girl's gotta
have her...

Kicks!

Oh, for heaven's
sakes.

Mr. Giddings,
I'm sorry.

There's been some
terrible misunderstanding.

Come on. We'll go
into my office.

You--

I told you,
baby,

when you put
the knock on love,

you asked for a mess
of trouble.

Well,
you're--

Where is she?
Where is she!

Sam,
where are you?

Uh, Sam?

Uh, Serena.
She's, uh, gone.

She left.

I didn't see
her go.

She must have gone
through the--

[BABBLING]

W-w-why ask for answers
at a time like this?

No, you're right.

Giddings is out there,
trembling with rage.

Now tell me, how are we
gonna explain Sam to him?

How? How?!

Larry, listen.

I'm listening.
I'm listening.

It's simple.
We tell him the truth.

That that was Serena,
Sam's, uh, kooky cousin.

And she has a very weird
sense of humor.

Darrin, I didn't
get to be

the head of
an advertising agency,

without stretching
the truth now and then.

I might honestly say

that I'm one of the best
truth stretchers

in the business.

But don't ask me
to try to sell

a cockamamie story
like that.

Larry, that girl that
was in here was Seren--

Darrin.

Remember, you're talking
to your best friend.

Sam is in bad shape.

Louise's cousin
is a psychoanalyst.

Now, just let me
give him a call.

I guess there's no sense
in trying

to explain it to you,
is there?

You just won't give up,
will ya?

Larry, I'm sorry
we lost the account, but--

Account?

Who cares about
the account?

It's you
I care about.

You!

And that poor little girl
who used to be Samantha.

Larry--
Darrin, Darrin,

why didn't you confide
in your old Uncle Lar?

Don't you know that
Louise and I

are behind you
100 percent?

Swell.

Then come
to dinner tonight.

Dinner?

I'll have Samantha
and Serena there together,

and you'll see--
Darrin, will you please

stop this charade?

Humor me,
just one more time.

Please?
Please?

Of course.

But I can't...

Serena. Will you come here?

I know you can hear me.

Oh, it's no use.

Sam, what am I
going to do?

I promised Larry
Serena.

I warned you.

She can be a stubborn girl.

Honey, I had no choice.
Larry was driving me crazy.

I have it!
What?

If the real thing
won't come along,

I can always do this.

Serena.

Sam.

That's marvelous!
That is marvelous!

Except, I...

I can't be both of us
at the same time.

Hm.
[DOORBELL RINGS]

Larry and Louise.

But, Sam, the table's
set for five.

What happens
when the four of us

sit down
with five of us?

I don't know.

I'm a witch, not a magician.

[DOORBELL RINGS]
You go let them in.

Yeah, I'll go
let them in.

Yes, uh.

Oh. Mm.

Come on in!

Hello,
Darrin.

Good evening, Darrin.
Hi, Larry.

Let me take that,
Louise.

Oh, thank you.
Thank you.

Uh-huh.

There you are.
All right.

[♪♪]

Hi, beautiful people.

Hi.

You remember Louise Tate,
don't you, Serena?

Oh, yeah,
sure.

Hi, Louise.
Hi.

Congratulations, Cotton Top,

you got a wild-lookin'
chick there.

Serena, I want you
to explain to Larry

why you acted the way
you did this afternoon.

Oh, yeah.

Well, ya see,
my head-shrinker says

that I have kind of a compulsion
for practical joking.

I don't know when to stop.

But I'm working on it, baby.

And don't you worry
about Mr. Biddings.

Giddings.

Oh, sorry, booby.

Anyway, why don't you
invite him over one night,

and I'll explain
the whole silly mess.

Ha-ha.
You're witness.

Oh, I'd like to put you
across my knee and spank you.

But I'm so relieved
that you're you

and she's she,
I could kiss you.

Groovy.

Where's Samantha?

Huh?

Oh, uh.

She's upstairs.

Taking care
of the little princess.

I'll go
fetch her.

A remarkable
resemblance.

Oh, I don't know.
Um.

I think
Sam's eyes

are set
farther apart.

And I think her
cheekbones are higher.

Hi, everybody.

Much higher.
Hi, Samantha.

Louise.
Where's your, uh...

kooky cousin?

Oh, she's upstairs
playing with Tabatha,

while I check my groovy.

Uh, gravy.

[LAUGHING]

I rest my case.

Well, I think I'll go
upstairs and see Tabitha--

Oh, uh,
ya can't.

She's sleeping.
No, she's not.

Samantha just said
Serena's playing with her.

DARRIN:
Oh, yeah, that's right.

Serena's playing with her.

[LOUDLY]
She's playing with her upstairs.

Well.

Oh, Larry, that Tabatha's
getting prettier every day.

Thank you.
We're proud of her.

Oh, yes.

Oh.
Heh. Thank you.

Well, um.

I guess I ought to go
in the kitchen

and help Samantha.

Oh, wait a minute,
Lulu.

Don't walk out
on the entertainment.

Sit down,
everybody.

Make yourselves
comfortable.

Larry.
Louise.

I know a little ditty,
recorded by the Belters,

on the flip side of
"America the Beautiful."

It's called "The Iffen Song."

[PLAYING GUITAR]

♪ Iffen, iffen, iffen, iffen ♪

♪ Iffen you wanna
Feel my embrace ♪

♪ Don't ya ever
Wash your face ♪

♪ Iffen you really
Care for me ♪

♪ Don't you comb
Your hair for me ♪

♪ Iffen you wanna leave me
Weak and weepy ♪

♪ Ya gotta look wild
And weird and creepy ♪

♪ Iffen, iffen ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Well, gang, I think I'll go
put on a new face before dinner.

Pardon,
Cotton Top.

I'll be right back.

She's a real swinger,
isn't she?

There's something
very strange

going on
in this house.

Yes, isn't she?

Iffen...
she's she.

Sam, where are ya?

Okay, what now?

Well, now we'll just
sit down and have dinner.

Have dinner
with who?

There are five
place settings.

Doesn't it strike you
as odd

that Sam and Serena
are never in the room

at the same time?

Oh, Larry,
you don't think--

The only question is,
how does she get

in and out of her clothes
so quickly?

Larry, your suspicions
are becoming an obsession.

I don't know how she
does it, but you watch.

Either Sam or Serena's going to
come down with a bad headache.

But only one of them
will sit down to dinner.

You watch.

It's no use, honey.

We'll just have
to tell them that--

That...
That what?

That Serena came down
with a fearful headache.

I hope
they believe it.

Oh, Serena, am I ever sorry
I started with you.

Mm-hm.

Come on.

Larry?
Louise?

It's time to sit down
for dinner.

Uh, Larry here.
Louise here.

Where's Serena?

I'm, uh,
glad you asked that.

Ya see, Serena--

SERENA:
[LONG SIGH]

Serena's headache is all gone.

I really feel simply marvelous.

Sugar.

That's all I wanted
to hear you say.

That you
were sorry.

I am.
I am.

And I'll never, ever,
ever do it again.

What did you do?

Oh, now, Larry.

Every family is entitled
to its own little secrets.

Well, I'm so glad

we could all get together.

Heh.

Oh, there! Ya see?

Love power conquers all.

[♪♪]

[GUITAR PLAYING]

♪ Iffen, iffen, iffen, iffen ♪

♪ Iffen you wanna
Feel my embrace ♪

♪ Don't ya ever
Wash your face ♪

♪ Iffen you really
Care for me ♪

♪ Don't you comb
Your hair for me ♪

♪ Iffen you wanna leave me
Weak and weepy ♪

♪ Ya gotta look wild
And weird and creepy ♪

♪ Iffen, iffen ♪

♪ Iffen, iffen
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪