All language subtitles for Bewitched S04E13 Solid Gold Mother-in-Law_track3_[eng]

Mother?

Mother,
where are you?

ENDORA: I'm upstairs,
dear, with Tabatha.

Come on,
come on here.

Let's take Tabatha
for a long--

Wait till you see
the cute dress I got--
[WHINNIES]

Mother!

Cute dress you bought
where, darling?

Horsy go.

Mother, how could you?

You asked me
to entertain Tabatha.

Not with
a horse.

Why, every little girl
should have a pony.

You had one.

Not in the house.

Probably
you've forgotten.

Your pony had wings.

Pegasus?

But that's not the point.

Suppose Darrin
came home unexpectedly,

and saw a pony stomping about.

He isn't likely to come home
and see a pony stomping around.

He is the pony.

Oh, no!

[PONY NEIGHS]
Mother, you're joking.

[PONY NEIGHS]
You're joking, aren't you?

[PONY NEIGHS]

You're not joking?

[NEIGHS]

Oh!

[♪♪]

Mother, this is
the worst thing

you have ever done.
[NEIGHS]

And considering the past,
that's saying a lot.

I couldn't
help it.

He came home and had
the effrontery to tell me

I didn't know how
to look after Tabatha.

Turn him back.

I made a few
rather witty remarks
about his stupidity,

and then he accused me
of riding him.

Turn him back!

So I showed him
what it was like
to be really ridden.

Ow!

Oh! Him and his
childish tantrums.

[SIGHS]

Now, sweetheart,
come here.

Now, listen. Don't do anything
that'll make Mother mad.

She might do something
even worse.

Now, sweetheart...

the thing to remember
is that I love you.

Oh, how revolting.

Oh.

Oh, now, Darrin.

Darrin, d-d-don't
say anything, please.

I mean, just don't
say anything--
I have no intention

of speaking to your mother.

I have only
one thing to say,

and that is to you.

Well, fine, you can say
anything you want to me.

Yell at me,
scream at me--

Either your mother
gets out of this house

and stays out, or I do.
Oh, now, Darrin.

Until she goes,
I don't come back!

Well, we're
rid of him.

You heard what he said.
Out!

Well, at the moment I can think
of a number of places

I'd rather be.
Good.

But I have a sweet
and forgiving nature.

I might even do something
nice for Darwin,

such as
a peace offering.

Oh, that would be
a very good idea.

Now, what should it be?

Something nice.

Something very,
very nice.

If there's one thing
I do pride myself on,

it's my imagination.

And in conclusion, may I say
that we will handle your account

with all the thoroughness
and attention

that we have
in the past. It--

With all
the thoroughness--

With all the thoroughness
and attention

that we have in the past.
It has been our ex--

Aah! Ow!

Mr. Stephens.
Uh, yes?

That perfume company in Paris,
the one you did the ads for?

They sent you a sample
of their new perfume,
Hallucination.

Tell me what
you think of it.

I tried that
new perfume.

Hm.

What do
you think?

I think...

"Hallucination" is a very
good name for it.

Mr. Stephens?
Are you all right?

Oh, that, uh, perfume's
got quite a kick.

Makes you feel like
jumping up and down.

I think I'd better get it
out of the building.

Mr. Gregson, I'd like
you to meet

one of our bright young men,
Darrin Stephens.

Darrin, I don't have to tell you
who Mr. Gregson is.

No, indeed.
How do you do, Mr. Gregson?

How do you do,
young man?

What happened
to your desk?

Uh, they're not making wood
the way they used to.

Something must have
gone against the grain.

Won't you sit down,
Mr. Gregson.

Pull up a chair, Larry.
Thank you.

I was discussing with Mr. Tate
how'd we handle your account

if you decide
to come with us.

I've definitely
severed relations

with my present agency.

They don't understand
my image.

If I may say so,
Mr. Gregson,

your image
is the American home.

And if I may say so,
Gregson Home Appliances

should be synonymous
with that perfect American home.

I never had one as a child.
I was an orphan.

So you see, the perfect home
is sort of a dream of mine.

An ideal. Uh...

Your wife?

Oh, no.

Mother?

No, uh...

My mother-in-law.
Oh.

Moth--?

That's fantastic.

Absolutely
fantastic.

In all my life, I don't
believe I've ever seen

a man with a picture of
his mother-in-law on his desk.

Lately, I've been taking it
with me everyplace I go.

She must be a treasure.

You must adore her.

Well, uh, let's put it
this way.

She's the sort of woman
who's, uh, hard to resist.

I'd like to meet her.

Uh, as a matter of fact,
my wife and I

are having dinner
with the Stephenses tonight.

You are?

Perhaps you could join us.

Oh, no, no, no.

As much as I'd like
to meet his mother-in-law,

I wouldn't think
of intruding.

I'm running late.

It's been nice
meeting you, Stephens.

Mr. Gregson.
I'll be talking
to you later, Larry.

Give us a ring any time.
I'll do that.

Bye, Mr. Gregson
Bye, Larry.

How could you
look so dumb

when I said we were
coming to dinner?

Well, I didn't know
you were.

We weren't.

But when Mr. Ten-Million-
Dollars'-Worth-of-Advertising

says he'd like to meet your
mother-in-law, we are.

Now, when I talk to him later,
I'm going to tell him

that Samantha absolutely
insists on his coming,

and that your mother-in-law
is dying to meet him.

Uh, she isn't.

She may have
other plans, uh...

What's the matter,
Larry?

Just thinking...

...how bare this office
would look without your desk.

How forlorn this hat rack
would look without your hat.

Darrin...
please reconsider.

Don't leave the company.
We need you.

We love you.

At least while
you're with us.

Larry, I refuse
to be intimidated.

Oh? By a simple little
dinner party

with your best friend
and his wife

and a business associate?

Well, as long as you're
putting it that way--

We'd love to have you and Louise
and Mr. Gregson for dinner.

But that won't guarantee
that my mother-in-law
will be there.

Darrin, I know you'll do
the very best you can.

You son of a gun.

You son of a gun.

In spite of
what you heard,

you are not invited
to dinner tonight.

Thank you.

I'd love to come.

Y--!

[GROANS]

They should be here
any minute.

Sweetheart, will you
stop worrying?

I am sure,
under the circumstances,

Mother will not
show up.

Mother!
You called?

I thought
I heard my name.

Thanks for popping in,
Endora, now do me a favor,
pop out!

Well, I thought I was
doing you a favor

by being here to meet
the charming Mr. Gregson.

Samantha--!

Will you kindly
ask your mother what
makes her think

our marriage certificate
is her deed to my house?

Now, wait a minute,
sweetheart.
I--

Both of you.

Perhaps under
the circumstances,

it might be a good idea
if Mother stayed.

Huh?
If you promise
to behave yourself.

But of course.
And if you apologize
to Darrin

for what happened
this morning.

I regret my slight
transgression of this morning,

however deserved.

That's an apology?

Mm.
For Mother, it is.

Okay. But no
funny business.

Witch's honor.

[DOORBELL RINGS]
There they are.
I'll get it.

Mother, try and keep
the conversation

on a domestic level.

[SIGHS QUIETLY]

Louise!
Hi, Darrin.

[OVERLAPPING GREETINGS]

LARRY:
Hello, Sam.
How are you?

Endora, how nice
to see you again!

Mr. Tate.
Honey, this is Mr. Gregson.

Oh, Mr. Gregson,
I can't tell you

what a pleasure
it is to meet you.

Up until now,
all I've met is your name.

Oh, it's on
our vacuum cleaner,

and our dishwasher--
almost everything we own.

That's very flattering.

I've been looking forward
to meeting you.

And your mother.

DARRIN: Endora, I'd like you
to meet Mr. Gregson.

How do you do?
How do you do,
Mr. Gregson?

And may I say you look
even more lovely in person

than in your
photograph.

Oh, not only
may you say so,

but you can repeat it
as often as you wish.

More coffee,
Mr. Gregson?

No, thank you,
my dear.

I was just telling Darrin
how much I admire

his frank display
of affection.

Your picture
on his desk.

[LAUGHS]

I would never have
been so egotistical

as to have
given it to him.

He must have
stolen it.

Do you have your
mother-in-law's picture
on your desk, Mr. Tate?

Oh, I can
answer that-- No.

Uh, I happen to be
the kind of man

that likes a clean desk.

Perfectly clean.
Clear head, clean desk.

[LAUGHS]
Darrin can be so gallant.

He was so complimentary
to Mother tonight

about her
dinner dress.

Endora has
exquisite taste.

I'm sure your husband
is just as complimentary

to your mother, Mrs. Tate?

Oh, yes.
Yes, indeed.

Darrin and I are
exactly alike in that.

As a matter of fact,
I wouldn't be surprised

if he picked it up from me.

He sees my mother-in-law
at our house so often.

We're a very close family.

You can drop in
at our house anytime,

and there she is.

She practically
lives with us.

Oh, I-I wouldn't say that.

And I wouldn't have it
any other way.

Because when it comes
to mothers-in-law,

I can safely say that mine
is really...

...something else.

[KICKS LARRY]
Ow!

Oh, excuse me, dear.

I was just
crossing my legs.

Um, excuse us.

The light's better
in the living room.

I want to make sure
I haven't broken the skin.

It's a wonder
you didn't break my leg.

Will you stop with those
thinly-veiled insults

about my mother.
Shh!

I've got a million-dollar
client in there,

and you're carrying on
about your mother.

I don't care! I will not listen
to you insult my mother.

Even subtly!

Louise!

[DOOR OPENS]

No, I'm not
leaving.

I wouldn't give you
the satisfaction.

Excuse me.

Nothing to be alarmed about.
Just an attack of nerves.

Louise had a little tiff
with her hairdresser
this afternoon, and--

Tate, there's no point
in beating around the bush.

I don't think you
understand my image.

I certainly do,
Mr. Gregson.

The perfect
American home.

You can't have a perfect home
without a harmonious family.

Perfection, Mr. Gregson,
is something that grows,

like a flower garden.

Yours seems to be
full of weeds.

Not every son-in-law

is as cuddly
as Darr-Darr and I are.

Right. And that's what's
given me an idea.

Darrin, suppose
I were to set you up

in an advertising agency
of your own.

What?!
Turn my account over to you.

I appreciate it, Mr. Gregson,
but it's out of the question.

Larry here is the genius.
I couldn't handle it.

I'm just
a routine workhorse.

Oh, I wouldn't say routine.
He's a fine workhorse.

On the other hand,
Mr. Gregson,

my son-in-law does
understand your image.

Right! He not only
understands my image,

he lives it.
Darrin, think it over.

I already have thought it over.

Larry is the brains.

He's the greatest
advertising man.

Right.

He is so modest.

Yes, and I admire that
in a man too.

Darrin, y--
Oh, my!

What's the matter,
Mr. Gregson?

Oh, migraine.
Oh, I'm so sorry.

Well, unpleasant scenes
like this always bring it on.

Trouble is,
my medicine's at home.

I'm terribly sorry,
but I'm afraid
I'll have to leave.

Good night,
dear lady.

Until we meet again.

Yes. Yes.

LARRY: Mr. Gregson.

DARRIN: Mr. Gregson.

Good night,
gentlemen.

Well, my boy.
Congratulations.

What are you
talking about?

Very clever.
In no time at all,

you took a $10 million account
away from McMann & Tate

and opened
your own agency.

Don't be silly.
He was the one
who suggested it.

I didn't say--
You played up
to his weakness.

Larry, may I remind you that
you're the one who insisted

on bringing him
here tonight.

Ah, that's where
you showed real cunning.

Without me
even suspecting it,

you made me think
the whole thing was my idea.

Everything's
just fine now.

It is?
Yes, Louise is feeling
much better.

We're leaving.

Oh, and Louise,

in this house, walk with
your back to the wall,

if you don't want
a knife in it.

Larry!
I'll explain what
happened later.

Come on.
Come on.

What happened?
Well--

Oh, yes.
One more thing.

Be sure and let us know
where to forward your mail.

[LAUGHS]

What's so
funny?

That's what I love
about mortals.

They can get themselves
into such hilarious messes

without my even
lifting a finger
to cast a spell.

Endora!

Just call me Mother.

Sweetheart?

Good morning,
darling.

Good morning
and good news.

Mother dropped in
to say goodbye.

She's on her way
to Paris.

She wanted to select
some new designs

that her couturier
hasn't thought of yet.

That's marvelous,
sweetheart.

Thank you,
honey.

[WIND BLOWING]

There she goes.

And there goes
a whole night's work.

I've been lining up
a campaign for Mr. Gregson.

He'll love it--
It's in tune with
everything he stands for.

Image, image, image.
What time is it,
darling?

Nearly 9:00.
I have to get down
to the office.

I want to go over
this stuff with Larry.

Oh, thank goodness.

For a minute I thought maybe
you'd taken last night

a little too seriously.

Of course not.
Larry was just mad.

And I don't blame him.

Gregson did give him
a bad time.

You know what
I'm gonna do?
What?

I'm gonna give him credit
for this whole campaign.

Why, he didn't have anything
to do with it.

But that's how we are
with one another.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

The doorbell.
Probably Larry,
come to apologize.

[WHISTLING MELODY]

Mr. Stephens,
Mr. Tate said to deliver
your office furniture here.

Uh...

Put it
in the garage.

So that's
how it is.

While I'm slaving in there
to save his account,

he's throwing my furniture
out of my office.

Sweetheart, maybe
if you talked to--

I have no intention of ever
speaking to him again.

I'm going to take those
advertising ideas
down to see Mr. Gregson.

I'm going to open
my own office.

Oh, now, Darrin, don't do
anything you'll regret.

I've always been
the brains of that outfit.

It's just time
I proved it.

Sweetheart.
You-- Oh.

Fiddle-de-dee
And fiddle-de-dum

Let witchcraft work
And let it hum

Give all the credit
To Larry Tate

As Darrin wanted
Before his hate

GREGSON: Magnificent.

Unbelievable.

Absolutely brilliant.

You know,
without a doubt,

this is the greatest
advertising presentation

I have ever seen.

I brought it
to you, sir,

because I'd knew
you'd see its value.

It has--
It has my image.

You know, last night

you said that Larry Tate
was the brains of your company.

Oh, well...

One is expected to say
such things

at a time like that.

I regard humility
as a virtue.

Well, the man who
can do work like this

is the man for me.

And the man who did that
is at your disposal.

Good. Let's go see him.

Hm?

I was prepared
to set you up in business,

but you quite simply
and honestly

gave me evidence that I should
stick with McMann & Tate.

Me?

You have the image
all right,

but Tate has the brains
and the know-how.

And when you get right down
to the nitty-gritty--

never mind the image--

I'll take the brains
every time.

Do you know any other person
who could do work like that?

Excuse me, sir.

"Larry Tate."
Hm.

"Larry Tate."

No, I know of
only one person

who can do work
like that.

Darrin could have
taken advantage of me.

He could have
let me believe

that he was the brains
of this company.

But, no.
He simply showed me

the magnificent ideas
you'd come up with.

Well, I-I have so many
brilliant ideas

that sometimes
I forget some of them.

GREGSON: You have
a fine young man

following in
your footsteps.

His noble footsteps.

Well, we can discuss
these ideas later.

Drop in my office
this afternoon.
I certainly will.

Mr. Gregson.
Darrin.

Goodbye, Larry.
Bye-bye.

You put my name
to your work?

After I fired you,
and then threw
your furniture out?

Just remember that
the next time
you want to fire me.

There won't be
a next time.

Darrin, I want to do
something wonderful
for you.

You name it.
It isn't necessary.

No, no, no, no.
Name it.

I'll let you
name it.

How does
this sound?

McMann, Tate & Stephens.

It sounds
sensational.

Well, one of these days,
a few years from now,

if you follow in my footsteps,

that's the way
it's going to read.

Couldn't happen
to a better man.

That's what I admire
about you, Larry.

That's why you're
the brains of this outfit.

You dream big.

[PONY NEIGHS]

[GIGGLES]

Oh, no!

Oh, Mother,
you've done it again.

Come on,
sweetheart.

Get off Daddy's back.

[WHINNIES]
Darrin, darling.

Sweetheart...

Did something happen
while I was out?

Did you get into
another argument?

Oh, sweetheart,
I'm sorry.

DARRIN: Sam.
Yes.

Oh! Darrin.

That pony
is shedding.

I thought
it was you.

Yesterday, it was.

Oh, and Tabatha
loved it so much

that you bought
her one.

No, I didn't.

Oh?

All right,
Tabatha.

Where did it
come from?

[ENDORA CHUCKLES]

Excuse me.
Come on, Tabatha.

That's a girl. Ah!

The pony is on me.

That I'd like to see.
Darrin.

Honey, we cannot
accept a gift

that is conjured up
by witchcraft.

Oh, really, Derrick!

Why, sometimes, you know,
you're positively quaint.

Endora, I refuse to discuss it.
The ingratitude of mortals.

We have a rule
in this house--

It never ceases
to amaze me.

I'm getting tired
of all this arguing.

You're constantly
coming in here,

and, boom, explosions, animals
running around all the time.

Darrin!

[BOTH ARGUING LOUDLY]

Oh, please!
Please!

[♪♪]