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1
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:08,041
Rise and shine!
Oh.
2
00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:10,811
Oh. Did--
Did I oversleep?
3
00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:12,179
Mmm.
4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,649
6:30?
5
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,017
And all is well.
6
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,619
Voila!
7
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,087
What's all this?
8
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:22,256
What are you
doing up so early?
9
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,324
A toast.
10
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:25,826
To the new anti-smog device
11
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:28,528
manufactured by Carter
Brothers Industrial Products.
12
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:31,298
More specifically,
to the brilliant young fellow
13
00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:33,767
who designed
their advertising campaign.
14
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,302
They bought it!
15
00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:37,671
Yeah. I couldn't wait
to tell you.
16
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:41,541
Oh. Sit down
and tell me all the details.
17
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,810
Unless, of course,
you're too modest.
18
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,346
You twisted my arm.
19
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:49,316
Uh, what did Mr. Carter say?
20
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:50,484
Well, among other things,
21
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,786
I was called
an advertising genius.
22
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:55,989
I'm so proud of you.
23
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:58,692
Honey, Everyone was.
It's a deal that's good
for everyone.
24
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,861
Everything went so smoothly
right from the start.
25
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:02,396
It was like magic.
26
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,766
Sam, you didn't
by any chance, uh...
27
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,202
No, Darrin.
You did it all yourself.
28
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:11,505
You are a brilliant
advertising-man.
29
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:13,674
I have one fault.
30
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,008
Your modesty.
31
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:17,210
Mm-hm.
32
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,713
And I want you to go down today
33
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:22,449
and purchase two tickets
for that cruise to Bermuda.
34
00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:25,185
Oh! You mean it?
Larry said "a big bonus."
35
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:27,454
Oh, Darrin, it'll be like
a second honeymoon.
36
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,456
Nothing wrong
with the first.
37
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,625
True.
38
00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,227
I'd better get to the office.
39
00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:36,563
Larry's ready to burn
incense at my feet.
40
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:37,698
[GIGGLES]
41
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,767
Bye-bye, sweetheart.
Congratulations!
42
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,202
Thanks, hon.
43
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,809
Morning, Mommy.
44
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:50,477
Good morning,
sweetheart
45
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:51,712
Daddy go?
46
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,580
Yes, just left.
47
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:58,885
Daddy didn't go.
48
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,420
Oh.
49
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,324
Darrin!
50
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,661
Darrin?
[DOOR CLOSES]
51
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,262
[GROANS]
52
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:13,633
Darrin, you forgot
your briefca--
53
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,412
Tabatha! No!
54
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,416
[GIGGLES]
55
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,651
Ohh!
56
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,854
Oh, Tabatha!
57
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,323
[SIGHS]
58
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:49,069
Crickery, crockery
Heed my wishes
59
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:50,804
Reassemble into dishes
60
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,506
[SOUR BOING]
61
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,608
[GASPS]
62
00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:56,943
Oh, my stars!
63
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:05,552
[♪♪]
64
00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:54,868
Bach or "Road to Mandalay"
I command you, piano, to play
65
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,203
[BOING]
66
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:58,538
"Melancholy Baby"?
67
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,974
Mother!
68
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,243
Mother!
69
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,779
Mom?
70
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,481
Ohh!
71
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:11,685
I command
With all my might
72
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,321
This wretched lighter
Now to light
73
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,824
[SIGHS]
74
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:21,895
Ew.
75
00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:27,701
Oh! Thank heavens
you heard me.
76
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:30,270
You called me?
Mother, don't joke.
77
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,939
Well, I merely popped in
to see my grandchild.
78
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:37,978
Well, your "child" child
is glad you're here.
79
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:41,615
Mother, I've lost my powers!
80
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:44,284
Watch.
81
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:51,291
Dwindling kindling
Earn my praise
82
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,860
Fire burn
With cheery blaze
83
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,061
[BOING]
84
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:57,264
There. Now do you
believe me?
85
00:04:57,264 --> 00:05:01,268
Oh, darling,
forgive the cynicism.
86
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,336
I'll call Dr. Bombay.
87
00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:04,871
Good.
88
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:22,122
Endora, I've asked you
a thousand times to call me
at the exchange.
89
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,456
I was at a concert.
90
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:24,758
In that getup?
91
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,560
Quite appropriate, I assure you.
92
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,896
Nero was fiddling.
Rome was burning.
93
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:33,233
It was a smasheroo,
a reenactment, of course.
94
00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,701
Of course.
95
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:38,505
And I'm very sorry,
but this is an emergency.
96
00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,507
Samantha has lost
her zap.
97
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,576
Good. It wouldn't
have lasted anyway.
98
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,311
These mixed marriages.
99
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:47,514
Not sap. Zap.
100
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,350
Oh. Sorry.
Stick your tongue out.
101
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,018
Gladly.
102
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,157
Say "Ah".
Ahhh.
103
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,059
Uh-huh. Uhh...
104
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:02,562
[CHUCKLES]
Is it serious?
105
00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:05,465
When did you fly last?
106
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:08,435
Oh, Well, I can't--
I can't remember.
107
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,637
I've been very busy.
108
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:14,808
Let me see you try
simple self-levitation.
109
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,345
[BOING]
110
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:21,348
The tongue depressor,
levitate it.
111
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,583
[QUIET BOING]
112
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:25,585
Have you been practicing
your normal,
113
00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:28,955
day-to-day witchcraft?
Well...
114
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,591
Don't tell me because
you're married to one,
115
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,593
you've been trying
to live like one.
116
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:36,763
Sad but true.
Mother.
117
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:40,433
[CLICKS TONGUE] My dear girl,
you haven't lost your powers.
118
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:43,003
They're simply clogged up.
Oh?
119
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,972
Such neglect of her metaphysics
has rendered her earthbound.
120
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:49,843
Earthbound!
Now, my dear,
there's no need panic.
121
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,478
But simple levitation is urgent
122
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,913
in order to prevent
the dam from bursting.
123
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,488
Mother!
124
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,590
And you stay there,
young lady.
125
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,359
But I can't stay up here.
I've got things to do.
126
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,994
Quiet!
127
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:10,563
If you need me, call.
128
00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:14,668
Through the exchange!
129
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,037
Now, you just rest.
130
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:20,140
We'll have you back
on your feet in no time.
131
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,409
Rest? Up here?
132
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:25,178
Levitation is the only cure.
133
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,413
How long?
134
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,914
Well, Samantha,
135
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:31,451
Rome was neither built
nor burned in a day.
136
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:35,989
Rome didn't have a child to take
care of or a house to clean.
137
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:39,359
Grandmama will take care
of little Tabatha.
138
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,027
As for the house...
139
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:46,032
You can take
care of that yourself.
140
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,168
When you get better.
141
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:56,443
Larry, I don't want to
put my feet on your desk.
142
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,611
You don't like my desk?
I love your desk.
143
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:00,313
I'm crazy about your desk.
144
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,549
[CHUCKLES]
It's yours.
145
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:06,720
You're a genius.
"Inhale in Health."
146
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,555
Oh, are we going
to fill our lungs
147
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:11,057
full of that fresh,
clean money!
148
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:13,159
Darrin, you really earned
your bonus this time.
149
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,662
After Nilesmunster
signs the contract,
150
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:18,031
I'll sign your
bonus check.
151
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:19,699
Nilesmunster?
152
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:21,201
M.J. Nilesmunster.
153
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,369
The guy Old Man Carter sent out
154
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,304
to give the contract
the final once over.
155
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:25,538
You know him?
156
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:27,374
I went to school
with a Nilesmunster.
157
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:30,977
Well, if this is the guy you
went to school with...
158
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:33,046
This was a girl.
159
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,414
Who was a girl?
160
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:37,517
Mary Jane Nilesmunster.
161
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,052
What's the matter with you?
162
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,154
Larry, you know that feeling
when you get up in the morning,
163
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,522
and the sun is shining,
164
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,758
and the birds are singing
so nice, and--
165
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,526
and you fall down
the whole flight of stairs,
166
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,395
splat, on your face?
167
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:49,829
What are you
talking about?
168
00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:52,832
Mary Jane Nilesmunster
swore she'd get me someday.
169
00:08:52,832 --> 00:08:55,735
And knowing her, she might
pick this day to do it.
170
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,173
Now, look, Darrin.
171
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:03,910
I know how important
this deal is to you.
172
00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:04,944
Me, too.
173
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,580
But let's
not get paranoid.
174
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,050
M.J. Nilesmunster represents
175
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:13,219
one of the top manufacturers
of the country.
176
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:16,089
They're up on the big board.
177
00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:20,693
"M.J." can't be Mary Jane.
178
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:25,065
[SNORTING LAUGH]
You're right, Larry.
I'm being silly.
179
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,433
Of course you are.
180
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:27,901
I just want everything
to work out.
181
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,203
LARRY: Oh, you know me,
I'm a walking ulcer.
182
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,705
Do I look worried? Ha!
183
00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,507
Any word from Nilesmunster yet?
184
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,176
WOMAN: The plane
arrived on schedule.
185
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:38,144
Uh, the appointment was
confirmed for 2:00?
186
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,245
Yes, Mr. Tate.
187
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,080
Did you speak
to Nilesmunster directly?
188
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,084
No, Mr. Stephens.
She was under the dryer.
189
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:55,995
Larry, please,
tell her I'm sick.
Tell her I died!
190
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:58,865
She's just waiting
to pull the rug out
from under me, zingo!
191
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,500
She particularly requested
that you be there.
192
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:03,303
You know why?
She wants to see
the look on my face
193
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,637
when she says, "No deal."
194
00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,840
Hell has no fury
like a woman scorned.
195
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,809
So that's it. Well, take it
from an old hand, they forget.
196
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,644
You don't know Mary Jane.
Mm.
197
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:13,613
So long, Larry.
198
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,417
You should see what she wrote
in the class yearbook.
199
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,785
"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
200
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,920
It may take a while,
But I'll get you."
201
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,759
Pinning a girl
at a high school prom
202
00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:28,394
doesn't mean you're gonna
marry her.
203
00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:29,596
Larry, I know that.
204
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,097
But her mother broadcast
the engagement
205
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:32,665
all over the state
the next day.
206
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:35,768
On the radio?
Her mother
didn't need a radio.
207
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,172
I've been through it
a hundred times.
208
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,508
By now, to her, you're
just another pretty face.
209
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:42,876
Not with her memory,
210
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:45,979
she could recite you both
senators from every state.
211
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,381
Don't make me say it,
Darrin.
212
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,516
Say what?
213
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:51,751
You're just
not that memorable.
214
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,720
You're a little guilty.
So tell Sam about it
215
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,522
and get it off your chest.
216
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:57,357
Good idea,
I'll go call her.
217
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,225
Not now.
218
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,098
MARY JANE: It's open.
219
00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:18,511
I'm on long distance.
Make yourselves at home.
220
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,680
That's her.
221
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,982
Mr. Tate, could you
come in for a second?
222
00:11:22,982 --> 00:11:25,018
Mr. Carter wants
to speak to you.
223
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:28,421
Uh, right.
Mr. Stephens, too?
224
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:30,356
Just you!
225
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,191
What'd I tell ya?
226
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:49,342
[RINGING]
227
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:58,117
Hello.
228
00:11:58,117 --> 00:11:59,586
Thank goodness I caught you.
229
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,921
I hope you haven't picked up
those tickets to Bermuda.
230
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:04,624
No, sweetheart,
as a matter of fact I haven't.
231
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:06,025
Uh, what's wrong?
232
00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:07,293
I'll explain later.
233
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,395
Something happened
to shake up this deal.
234
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,798
Oh, darling, I am sorry.
235
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:14,100
Where are you now?
At the hotel.
236
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:17,036
Well, don't you worry, darling.
We can manage withou--
237
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,708
Samantha, the less
contact with humans
238
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:23,643
in your condition, the better!
239
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:27,313
Oh. Samantha can't talk
to you anymore.
240
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:30,583
You! Would you put Samantha
back on the phone?
241
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,951
She's indisposed.
242
00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:34,520
Indisposed?
What's that supposed to mean?
243
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,456
She's flying.
244
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,024
Flying?
245
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:40,259
I didn't expect you
to understand.
246
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:45,064
Mother.
Yes?
247
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:47,300
That was a terrible
thing to do.
248
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,670
Even for you.
You calm yourself.
249
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:53,139
You're not at all well.
250
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,943
Ohh!
251
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:01,547
Flying?
252
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,250
Flying!
253
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,785
[DIALING]
254
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,520
[FLY BUZZING]
255
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,126
Sam?
256
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,696
Sam, is that you?
257
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,831
You didn't have to come
all the way down here, honey.
258
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:21,567
A trip to Bermuda
can't mean that much to you.
259
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:24,904
Sam.
260
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:27,106
Sam!
261
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:28,641
Oh, Sam!
262
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,643
Sam, please. Go home.
263
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:34,547
There'll be other deals, other
trips to Bermuda, I promise.
264
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:36,582
Sam!
265
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:40,086
Sam!
Honey?
266
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:44,057
Besides, there's nothing
you could do,
267
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,958
even if I wanted you to.
268
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,862
Sam, please, go home!
269
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:59,338
Sam, please.
Please, Samantha. Please?
270
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,474
Go home.
271
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,980
Mother, you work
at trying not to understand.
272
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:10,683
I know how much
this deal means to Darrin.
273
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,151
He needs help.
274
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,554
I've always said that.
275
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,322
Be serious.
276
00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:18,391
Darrin is in some
kind of trouble,
277
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:21,527
and he needs help.
He'd never ask.
278
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,896
If he was going to ask,
he would probably do it
279
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:25,798
by not asking,
don't you see?
280
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:29,135
Ah, yes.
It's marvelously clear.
281
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:32,672
It's a fine time for my
powers to get clogged up.
282
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:38,044
Samantha, I learned something
very important a long time ago.
283
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,246
When a man asks for help
from a woman,
284
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,782
especially by not
asking for help,
285
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,417
the best thing for her to do
286
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,953
is to forget
about the whole thing.
287
00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:49,689
You sure?
Dead certain.
288
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:52,759
Where'd you learn that,
from the Wicked Witch
of the West?
289
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,093
No.
290
00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:56,963
From a divorce lawyer
in Southern California.
291
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:59,098
[SLURPING]
292
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:01,601
Oh, Samantha!
293
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,169
Really!
294
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,938
Sam, please.
295
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:09,075
Go home.
I don't want your help.
296
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,943
Whatever you do, I'll undo,
297
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:12,712
so you just might as well
go on home.
298
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,347
You're wasting your time.
299
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,982
Besides I don't like the idea
300
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:18,317
of your mother
sitting with the ba...
301
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:19,552
...by.
302
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:23,790
Uh, ladybug, ladybug,
fly away home.
303
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:26,292
That's a fly.
It is?
304
00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:28,294
Oh, I'd better have
the old optics checked.
305
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,796
Larry!
306
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,597
Uh, uh, a life.
307
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,400
After all, a fly has as much
right to live as, uh, a--
308
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:38,237
This is Darrin Stephens,
Ms. Nilesmunster.
309
00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:39,939
How do you d--?
I just wanted to say
310
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,407
that things
that have happened in the past
311
00:15:41,407 --> 00:15:44,210
have no bearing on things
that are going on right now.
312
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,878
How do you do,
Mr. Stephens?
313
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:48,014
I've been looking forward
to meeting you.
314
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,282
How do you do?
315
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,651
Well, Stephens, shall we
get to the contract?
316
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:55,121
Uh, Ms. Nilesmunster,
before you sign the contract,
317
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,823
I think there's something
that you should know.
318
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,257
You're being dealt with
unfairly.
319
00:15:58,257 --> 00:16:00,660
You see, a long time ago,
we knew each other.
320
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:04,030
But you forgot.
But you didn't really forget.
321
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:07,300
Uh, that is--
The point is, you know me.
322
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,936
But you don't know
that you know me.
323
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,238
It's a spell.
324
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,075
Darrin, Ms. Nilesmunster's
a very busy woman.
325
00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:17,376
And I don't think
we should delay her
326
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,245
any longer than we
have to.
327
00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:31,357
Thank you very much,
gentlemen.
328
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:35,261
Thank you very much,
Ms. Nilesmunster.
329
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:37,997
[CHUCKLES]
What'd I tell you?
330
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:41,701
[♪♪]
331
00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:45,037
[CAR APPROACHING]
332
00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:47,707
Oh, Mother.
There's Darrin now.
333
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,976
Please let me down.
334
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:51,344
If you want to get
back in shape,
335
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,346
you'll stay
off your feet.
336
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:57,350
But he's never been this late.
Mother, I'm worried.
337
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,252
You know what may happen.
338
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:02,321
Just let me down.
339
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,496
Good evening, Samantha.
340
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:13,766
Good evening, madam!
341
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,234
Darrin?
342
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,069
Don't you recognize me
either?
343
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:19,171
What's wrong?
He's soused to the gills,
344
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:22,041
that's what's wrong.
Mother, please!
345
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,744
Nonsense, madam.
I'm quite sober.
346
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:28,414
I'd only had tee martoonis.
347
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:31,250
Well, then you better take
the olives out of your mouth.
348
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,385
You're talking funny.
349
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,353
Funny is better than dreary.
350
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:37,290
Would you kindly ask
Little Miss Muffet
351
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,425
to get her tuffet out of here.
352
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,495
All right.
353
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,131
But if you need me,
354
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:48,334
just light a match
near his breath.
355
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,037
I'll see the flames.
356
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:53,205
Good ol' Smokey the Boar.
357
00:17:57,276 --> 00:18:00,379
Darrin, what is it?
Did the deal fall through?
358
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:03,049
You know darn well
the deal didn't fall--
359
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:05,184
fall through.
360
00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:07,386
Well, now how would
I know a thing like that.
361
00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:09,221
Well, when you called
this afternoon,
362
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:11,057
I figured out
something was wrong.
363
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,559
And so you--
you right away,
364
00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:15,294
bzzzz-zz-zz-zz!
365
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:19,165
I what?
You bzzz-zzz-zzzed.
366
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:21,133
I told you,
I didn't need your help.
367
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:22,902
But no, you're the cavalry.
368
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:26,606
You're-- You're zap-happy.
That's what you are.
369
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,510
Uh, all right.
Now one step at a time.
370
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:35,715
The deal didn't fall through
and you're mad at me.
371
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,150
Listen, when you landed
on my nose,
372
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:39,518
I told you right
then I didn't--
373
00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:42,855
Whe-- When I landed
on your nose?
374
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,657
Sam, you're not going to deny
375
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,392
that you turned
yourself into a fly
376
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:49,128
and flew down to the hotel
and zapped yourself
377
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,832
into a two-week
cruise to Bermuda.
378
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:54,233
You know something funny.
379
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:56,268
I don't understand
one word you're saying.
380
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:58,170
I haven't left
this house all day.
381
00:18:58,170 --> 00:19:01,640
There is nothing worse
than a flying lie!
382
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,275
A lying fly!
383
00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:05,911
Your own mother
said you were flying.
384
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:07,279
Right here.
385
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:09,615
And for therapy,
if you want to know.
386
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:11,417
I couldn't have
changed myself into anything
387
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,219
even if I wanted to.
388
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:16,322
[SCOFFS]
You couldn't.
389
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:19,225
No.
And you know why?
390
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:21,427
Because I've lost my powers.
391
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,262
They're all dammed up.
392
00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:25,698
And if I don't take care
of myself, the dam will burst.
393
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,333
I won't be able
to control it.
394
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:30,536
She didn't even
recognize me.
395
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:33,105
Oh, sweetheart,
you're not even listening.
396
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:34,607
Come back.
397
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,209
[CHAOTIC BOING]
398
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,245
No power, huh?
399
00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:42,148
That's what I've been
trying to tell you.
400
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,717
When it comes back,
it's out of control.
401
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:47,386
Wouldn't it be better
if you admitted the truth?
402
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:51,090
The truth is that
I haven't done anything.
403
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,659
I have been absolutely
powerless all day.
404
00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,327
I've been trying to get
the piano to play,
405
00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:57,229
and the fire to burn,
and the lighter to light--
406
00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:59,331
[PIANO PLAYS]
407
00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:10,309
Oh!
408
00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:12,278
Oh, Darrin, it isn't me!
409
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:14,180
Well, I mean it is, but--
410
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,382
Well, that's because
the dam's burst.
411
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:20,386
Sam, turn that piano off.
This is a madhouse!
412
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,091
But I can't control it.
413
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,459
I'm warning you, Sam.
414
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,094
I'm gonna have to
get out of here.
415
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:29,495
It's been a rough day!
416
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:32,565
All right then, go back
to your friendly bartender
417
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,767
with your mouth
full of olives!
418
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,872
Well, what'll it be,
old buddy?
419
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,607
[MUMBLES]
420
00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:44,410
On the rocks?
[MUMBLES]
421
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,946
I always make 'em 5-1.
422
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,994
A man loses his integrity,
he has nothing.
423
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:03,262
I'll drink to that.
424
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,698
Bartender.
I'll drink to that.
425
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,967
Keep the change.
I'll drink to that.
426
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:11,103
You're a married man, you don't
have to put up with all that--
427
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,972
That, I won't drink to.
428
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,174
Drink from? Yes.
To? No.
429
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:17,810
My wife,
she had to interfere.
430
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,478
They're all the same.
431
00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:21,413
No, they're not.
Yours is human.
432
00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:23,782
I'd like to take
a vote on that.
433
00:21:23,782 --> 00:21:25,184
Mine's a witch.
434
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:26,619
They all are.
435
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,654
This time she changed
herself into a fly.
436
00:21:28,654 --> 00:21:31,357
They all change.
Starts out with,
437
00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:33,859
"Anything you say dear,"
and then--
438
00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:35,594
But she's not gonna
get away with it.
439
00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:37,263
If we go to Bermuda,
it's gonna be
440
00:21:37,263 --> 00:21:39,331
on my credentials,
not on her...
441
00:21:40,432 --> 00:21:42,434
Mm. Yes sir.
442
00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:46,739
I'm gonna put a whammy
on her hocus-pocus right now.
443
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:49,942
You'd better lay off.
444
00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:51,644
I'll drink to...
445
00:21:56,515 --> 00:21:58,617
I recognized you
this afternoon.
446
00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:01,020
Oh, people change.
Now, on second look you--
447
00:22:02,354 --> 00:22:03,522
What'd you say?
448
00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:06,258
I said,
I recognized you, Darrin.
449
00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:07,726
When heard the name,
I wondered.
450
00:22:07,726 --> 00:22:10,196
But the minute
I laid eyes on you, I knew.
451
00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:12,131
Uh, But then why--?
Uh...
452
00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:15,267
Well, the last time I saw you
I was very upset.
453
00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:17,336
I threatened childishly.
454
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:20,139
Let's just say,
I'd prefer not to remember
455
00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:22,341
that hysterical, vengeful girl.
456
00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:24,777
I guess you thought
I was pretty dense.
457
00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:27,046
I admit it did cross my mind.
458
00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:30,583
Would uh-- Will you
please accept my apology?
459
00:22:31,951 --> 00:22:33,385
It's a deal.
460
00:22:33,385 --> 00:22:35,187
Our second today.
461
00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:38,424
Well, I-- I certainly am happy
everything worked out.
462
00:22:38,424 --> 00:22:40,559
I think we all are.
463
00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:43,229
Well, you uh--
464
00:22:43,229 --> 00:22:45,364
You certainly
have come a long way.
465
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,433
I mean,
from Drum Majorette to--
466
00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:50,402
I mean, you hold
a very important position
467
00:22:50,402 --> 00:22:52,171
in the business world.
468
00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:54,173
For a woman, you mean?
469
00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:55,708
Oh, it's all right.
470
00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:57,943
Ladies who work in what's
considered a man's job
471
00:22:57,943 --> 00:22:59,245
get used to that.
472
00:22:59,245 --> 00:23:00,713
I suppose.
473
00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:01,814
What we don't get used to
474
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,382
is keeping up
in the business world
475
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:06,218
and taking care of
our children at the same time.
476
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:07,853
You're married?
477
00:23:07,853 --> 00:23:09,054
Very.
478
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,489
But, uh, Nilesmunster?
479
00:23:10,489 --> 00:23:12,891
That's the name
on my law degree.
480
00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:14,059
Are you married?
481
00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:16,028
Yes, I'm married.
482
00:23:16,028 --> 00:23:18,197
Do you remember--?
Say, what ever
happened--?
483
00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:19,565
[LAUGHING]
484
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:21,567
I'm sorry, go ahead.
No, you.
485
00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:23,702
Well, I was wondering
if you knew what ever happened
486
00:23:23,702 --> 00:23:26,205
to that Wilson brat
that used to drive you cuckoo.
487
00:23:26,205 --> 00:23:28,741
Harvey Wilson?
Harvey. I never knew
his first name.
488
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:30,609
We always used
to call him "Stinky."
489
00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:32,411
That's who I'm married to.
490
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:35,414
Wonderful guy.
Well, I'd better get going.
491
00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:38,917
[♪♪]
492
00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:47,660
Come on, Sam.
493
00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:49,328
It was stupid
male pride.
494
00:23:49,328 --> 00:23:51,430
That's the reason
I acted the way I did.
495
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:53,999
Well, you didn't believe me.
That's what hurt.
496
00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:56,101
I'm sorry.
497
00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:59,338
Well, what is a marriage
if it isn't based on trust?
498
00:23:59,338 --> 00:24:01,040
You're right.
499
00:24:01,907 --> 00:24:03,942
I'm not a liar.
500
00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:07,012
Honey, I promise,
I'll never doubt you again.
501
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,249
Forgiven?
502
00:24:10,249 --> 00:24:12,484
Just one more question.
503
00:24:12,484 --> 00:24:14,086
A fly?
504
00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:16,855
Now don't you think I have
any more imagination than that?
505
00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:20,893
Yes. I told you, it was
just stupid male pride.
506
00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:23,329
Okay.
507
00:24:23,329 --> 00:24:24,763
You're forgiven.
508
00:24:27,399 --> 00:24:29,635
One question.
Mm.
509
00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:32,037
Is this any way
to run a marriage?
510
00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:34,039
Well...
511
00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:37,142
I mean, how long are you
gonna have to stay like this?
512
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:39,511
Tonight should do it.
513
00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:44,049
Well, I guess we can make up
tomorrow night.
514
00:24:51,523 --> 00:24:55,527
[♪♪]
35531
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