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CARLTON [OVER SPEAKER]:
Good morning, everyone.
Ron Carlton here with the news,
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00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,874
brought to you every
morning by Scrub.
3
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:09,042
Hi, honey.
And now for the news...
4
00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:10,844
Uh, I thought you'd left.
5
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,313
Oh, why? It's early.
6
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:16,416
I have a feeling Mother's
going to drop in.
7
00:00:16,416 --> 00:00:17,684
It's late.
8
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:22,055
Just a minute. She promised
the next time she came
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00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:23,257
she'd let me know
in advance.
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00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:25,158
CARLTON:
And now a special announcement.
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00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:26,827
Darrin Stephens of this city
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00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,663
will receive a visit from his
mother-in-law today.
13
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,233
That's what you call
letting me know in advance?
14
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:36,837
You didn't specify
how far in advance.
15
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,672
This is for you,
darling.
16
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:40,540
Oh, who's it from?
17
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:41,842
Ticheba.
18
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,477
Oh, my goodness.
19
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,711
Ticha who?
20
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,380
Ticheba, she's...
21
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,282
Oh, my goodness!
22
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,783
What does she say?
23
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,085
She-- She said--
24
00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:53,353
Oh, my goodness!
25
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:56,189
Stop saying that and tell me.
26
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:58,292
She's coming for a visit.
27
00:00:58,292 --> 00:01:00,294
Oh, my goodness!
28
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:02,829
Look, honey, if it's
going to upset you
29
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:04,932
just tell this Ticheba
not to come.
30
00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:05,933
[GASPS]
31
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:08,702
Not to come!
[CACKLES]
32
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,837
That's the funniest thing
you've ever said.
33
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:14,007
Nobody tells Ticheba
anything.
34
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,442
Why not? Who is she?
35
00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,244
Queen of the witches
or something?
36
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,612
That is right.
37
00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:19,846
That's right.
38
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:21,481
Ask a silly question...
39
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:24,084
Well, uh, sweetheart,
you'll like her.
40
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,552
Once you get used to her.
41
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:27,454
Yes, she likes things
her own way
42
00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,423
and will brook
no denial.
43
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,725
I suppose that's natural
for a queen.
44
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:32,893
Exactly.
45
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,728
What's your excuse?
Darrin!
46
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:39,566
Samantha, I will not
stand here and be insulted
47
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:43,170
by something which is
94 percent water.
48
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,439
Mother!
Oh, yeah?
49
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:48,942
What about something which
is 100 percent hot air?
50
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,912
Darrin, would you please
try and control yourself?
51
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,214
[THUNDER CRASHES,
WIND HOWLING]
52
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,385
[♪♪]
53
00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:12,265
You may rise.
54
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:28,315
[♪♪]
55
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,394
[♪♪]
56
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:27,674
Very nice.
Very nice indeed.
57
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:30,444
Well, uh, thank you,
Your Majesty.
58
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,913
Uh, where is
the main house?
59
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,615
Uh, I'm afraid
this is it.
60
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:37,350
Really?
61
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:51,131
If you don't mind,
I think I'd prefer my own chair.
62
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:53,467
Of course not, Your Majesty.
63
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:59,739
Now, just a minute.
64
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:00,707
[GROWLS]
65
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,309
Yes?
66
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,644
I forgot the question.
67
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:08,715
Uh... Mm. Mm-mm.
68
00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,356
How long is she
gonna be here?
69
00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:19,259
SAMANTHA: Well, I don't
know, sweetheart.
70
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,861
Well, it doesn't matter.
71
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,530
As long as she's gone
by the time I get home.
72
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,298
Well, I'm leaving.
73
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:27,434
Splendid!
74
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,542
Come here, my dear.
75
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:40,947
My dear...
I have decided to abdicate.
76
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:46,353
And you have been chosen
to serve in my place.
77
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,421
In your place?
78
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:51,124
Tomorrow night,
a universal coven
79
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,693
will witness your coronation.
80
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:54,961
What?!
81
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,130
Oh, my dear!
82
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,431
Mother!
83
00:04:58,431 --> 00:05:00,634
Oh! My little girl!
Queen of the witches?
84
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,035
But I--
I can't believe it.
85
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:04,037
Oh, my baby!
86
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,672
One of the chosen few?
87
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:08,742
Oh, uh, w-- well, I-- I--
I'm honored, Your Majesty.
88
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:11,511
More than words
can express.
89
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,482
And I can't accept it.
90
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,418
I beg your pardon?
91
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,253
I know what's bothering her.
92
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,389
It's Dumbo.
93
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,757
Well, that's hardly a problem.
94
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,692
I'll turn him into
something suitable,
95
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,695
like a doormat.
No!
96
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:32,365
If you will show me my room,
I'd like to rest.
97
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,467
Right this way, Your Majesty.
98
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,803
Now, please, let me try
and explain, Your Majesty.
99
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:39,573
You see, well, now, when
I married Darrin,
100
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,541
I promised
I wouldn't use
any witchcraft.
101
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:44,077
Now, he's been very
understanding up until now,
102
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:46,413
but he'd never
understand this.
103
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:50,584
Y-your Majesty, I--
I can't be queen!
104
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,052
I'm married
to a mortal,
105
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,454
and I have a child
and a house to take care of.
106
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,990
One thing you must do
is find quarters
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00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,025
more suitable
for a queen.
108
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:02,529
Uh, perhaps you'd like some
of your own furniture up here.
109
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,531
That might help.
110
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,938
Well, now,
that's better. Hm.
111
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:14,841
Uh, Your Majesty,
do you understand?
112
00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:17,644
It's a bit crowded,
isn't it?
113
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,646
You're not listening to me,
Your Majesty.
114
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:22,816
Of course I am.
I heard every word
you've said.
115
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:25,018
Your husband represents
a problem.
116
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,286
And I have told you,
117
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:28,622
I personally will
take care of Dumbo.
118
00:06:28,622 --> 00:06:30,790
His name is Darrin.
119
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:34,160
Either way, you have
no problem.
120
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:38,164
What's beyond that wall?
121
00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:39,633
The master bedroom.
122
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,735
Then, if you don't mind?
123
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,810
Oh!
124
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:56,483
Your Majesty, I refuse
to be queen.
125
00:06:56,483 --> 00:07:00,153
We do our best,
but sometimes we fail.
126
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,856
Samantha, come with me.
127
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,696
Will you stop making
a fool of yourself?
128
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:12,832
When you've been selected queen,
our highest honor,
129
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,268
you do not have the privilege
of turning it down.
130
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,369
You must accept.
131
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,571
But that's not fair.
Why?
132
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:21,007
Well, I-I-I mean,
it's all right
for other witches,
133
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,276
they don't have Darrin
to contend with,
134
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,578
but I don't--
Oh!
135
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,517
Mother, Darrin's simply
going to explode.
136
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,118
Good!
137
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,255
It'll save us the trouble
of turning him into a doormat.
138
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,724
Oh, you can joke,
you can joke.
139
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,459
But I've got to tell him.
140
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,494
I can just hear
the explosion.
141
00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,963
Queen?
142
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,865
Of the witches?
143
00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:48,368
What does that make me,
Prince Valiant?
144
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,203
This is no
joking matter.
145
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,638
You're not kidding!
146
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,540
But it's a great,
great honor.
147
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:56,042
And it means a lot to me,
148
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:59,245
and even more to Mother.
I can't refuse.
149
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:01,047
And what I think
doesn't count.
150
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:04,050
I'm just a doormat
around here, I suppose.
151
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,185
Not yet.
152
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,886
What?
153
00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:10,090
I promise, you won't be
inconvenienced.
154
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,726
I won't.
155
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:30,076
Is this a sample
of what I can expect?
156
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,646
Oh, uh, no.
No, sweetheart.
157
00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:36,916
Ticheba insisted upon doing
a little redecorating.
158
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:39,686
I-- I'll change it
as soon as she leaves.
159
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,488
She feels more
at home this way.
160
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,790
Where does she live,
the Taj Mahal?
161
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:46,126
Darrin, try to understand.
162
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,795
Being queen is something
that every witch mother
163
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:50,363
dreams of
for her little girl,
164
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,466
just as every American father
dreams that someday
165
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,301
his boy will be president.
166
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:58,505
If memory serves,
no president has ever been
167
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,407
a wife and a mother,
which you are.
168
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,742
How do you expect to take care
of your home and your family?
169
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:04,811
Well, I've got that
all worked out.
170
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,212
Whatever business
does come up,
171
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,548
well, I'll just take
care of it after midnight.
172
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,885
I just don't understand.
Why you?
173
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:15,922
Yeah. Why me?
174
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:20,193
Well, um, it's--
It's sort of hard to explain.
175
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:23,696
Try.
176
00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:26,733
Well, uh, certain witches
are chosen at birth.
177
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:30,837
When you've been selected,
you must serve.
178
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:32,305
You have no choice.
179
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:35,241
Then it really doesn't matter
what I think?
180
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,577
Not really.
181
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,814
In that case,
what can I say?
182
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:44,784
Oh, Darrin,
I knew you'd understand.
183
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:02,035
All hail Ticheba our queen.
184
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,870
[♪♪]
185
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:06,739
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
186
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:20,353
You may rise.
187
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:30,797
[GONG CRASHES]
188
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:36,135
This universal coven
I do convene.
189
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,806
Its purpose, you know,
to crown a queen
190
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:43,376
to rule all witchdom
from this point hence.
191
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:49,015
If all be present,
let the oath-taking commence.
192
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,218
[GONG CRASHES]
193
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,654
[♪♪]
194
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:21,714
Samantha gentle,
Samantha fair,
195
00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:24,784
before your peers
assembled here,
196
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:27,520
are you ready now
to take
197
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,989
the oath of office
of which I spake?
198
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:31,758
I am.
199
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:34,928
Let the bearers of the
Book of Rites draw near
200
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:38,932
and as I read,
let all give ear.
201
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:44,771
These words I read,
say after me.
202
00:11:44,771 --> 00:11:48,541
And weigh each one
most carefully.
203
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:52,912
"I, Samantha,
do solemnly swear
204
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:57,250
in accepting the crown
to hold it dear."
205
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,919
I, Samantha,
do solemnly swear
206
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:02,522
in accepting the crown
to hold it dear.
207
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:06,492
"To be faithful
and never to forsake
208
00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:09,228
the holy office
which I take."
209
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,864
To be faithful
and never to forsake
210
00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:14,267
the holy office
which I take.
211
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:18,638
"To preserve, protect
and to defend
212
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:21,774
the laws of witchdom
to the end."
213
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:24,811
To preserve, protect
and to defend
214
00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:27,780
the laws of witchdom
to the end.
215
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:30,650
But only after midnight, please.
216
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:34,320
You see, I promised my husband,
and he'd flip his lid.
217
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,924
I'm trying to rhyme,
so please do as I bid.
218
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:49,035
Long live Queen Samantha!
219
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:55,308
WITCHES:
Long live Queen Samantha!
220
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,552
[BELL TOLLING]
221
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,392
Who's there?
222
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,394
Who's there?
223
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:18,965
I have an appointment
with Her Majesty.
224
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,234
Uh, downstairs.
225
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:24,337
Uh, why are you disguised
as a bird?
226
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,305
What disguise?
227
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:36,115
[GRUMBLES]
228
00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:38,584
So I've been made
a committee of one
229
00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:41,521
to petition Your Majesty
for pardon for all of us.
230
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:42,822
Are there many of you?
231
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,390
I'd hate to tell you
how many.
232
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:46,859
Ticheba had a pretty
short fuse, you know.
233
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:49,595
One wrong word, and bingo!
We were transformed.
234
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:51,464
Well, I--
235
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:56,903
Oh! Uh, Darrin.
Don't tell me we woke you?
236
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:58,705
All right,
I won't tell you.
237
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,373
I always get up
at 3:00 in the morning.
238
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,875
Forgive me for not
waiting in line, Your Majesty,
239
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,478
but could you spare
a moment of your time?
240
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:06,779
Certainly.
241
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:08,848
You may withdraw.
242
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,460
Look, tomorrow morning
243
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,628
I've got a meeting with a man
who is the president
244
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:25,765
of one of the largest steel
companies in the country.
245
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,467
Now, his advertising
account is worth
246
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:30,269
over 8.5 million dollars
in billing.
247
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,405
If I can swing him over
to our agency,
248
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,507
they've got
to give me a bonus.
249
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:35,975
Oh!
250
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:37,710
Or at least
make me a partner.
251
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,579
Oh, well that's wonderful,
sweetheart!
252
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:43,082
It won't be if I fall
asleep during that meeting!
253
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,152
Most of this activity
is caused
254
00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:48,020
by the changeover
in administration.
255
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,822
It'll taper off.
You'll see.
256
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,791
It better taper,
and soon.
257
00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:54,227
I'm gonna get myself
a glass of milk.
258
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:00,833
You can tell you friends
I'll pardon them all.
259
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,301
[SQUAWKS] You will?
260
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:05,204
Oh, thank you,
Your Majesty. Thank you.
261
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:08,841
Tell them to assemble
here tomorrow
262
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,843
but remember,
not before 12.
263
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:13,179
Thank you.
264
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:18,651
Here you are,
Mr. Rohrbach.
265
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:19,886
Mm. Thank you.
266
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,554
Sweetheart?
Thank you, honey.
267
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:24,857
Mm. These crabmeat things
are delicious, Mrs. Stephens.
268
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,959
Oh, well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
269
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,561
I just threw
them together.
270
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,197
If you'll excuse me, I have
another batch in the oven.
271
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,402
Well, I like what
I see, Stephens.
272
00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:38,938
The house, good taste,
without ostentation.
273
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,573
Thank you, sir.
274
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:43,409
And your wife's gonna fit into
the Rohrbach family real well.
275
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:45,378
I'm glad you feel that way, sir.
276
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,446
Take us about
a week to sever relations
277
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,682
with the company that's now
handling our account.
278
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,184
Heck! What's a week?
279
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:53,953
Maybe two weeks
at the outside, but--
280
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:04,630
What was that?
281
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,466
Pardon?
282
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:10,736
Didn't you just see a...
bird fly through here?
283
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:12,205
What bird?
284
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:15,708
It was probably just a bird.
Uh, a shadow.
285
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,810
Uh, uh,
do you need some ice?
286
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,946
No, no. No thanks.
287
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,781
I need some ice.
288
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:24,550
Fresh out of ice.
289
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:29,589
But I told you, not until
after 12:00 midnight.
290
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:32,391
Oh, 12:00 midnight.
291
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,761
Sam, get that bird
out of here, and fast.
292
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:38,197
Sweetheart, there's been
a terrible misunderstanding.
293
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:41,033
Wait'll you see the
misunderstanding we're
gonna have!
294
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,774
[COW MOOS]
295
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:53,646
CHAIR: I'll find out
what's taking so long.
296
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:57,149
[KNOCKS]
297
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:23,809
You better leave before you
end up in a fricassee.
298
00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:24,944
Right.
299
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:26,445
CHAIR:
What's going on?
300
00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:28,547
RAVEN: I told you
to wait outside, didn't I?
301
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:32,451
Sam, do something!
302
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,820
You should have seen the look
on Rohrbach's face
303
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,122
when that bird flew in.
304
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:38,491
And I'll bet when
he saw the chair that--
305
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,726
Saw the chair!
306
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,695
Holy mackerel!
307
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:45,831
Oh!
308
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:57,543
How are you doing, sir?
309
00:17:57,543 --> 00:18:00,680
A chair just came
in that door
310
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:04,216
and walked right
through this hall.
311
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,554
Mr. Rohrbach,
have you been, uh....
312
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,057
I only had one.
313
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,192
And I know what I saw!
314
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:14,594
Well, just think what
you're saying, sir.
315
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,195
A chair came
through that door
316
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:17,730
and walked
through this hall?
317
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:20,499
Well, a chair can't walk
any more than a...
318
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,841
...than a lamp can.
319
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:31,911
What kind
of a place is this?
320
00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:33,579
Uh, what are you
referring to, sir?
321
00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:35,381
I don't know what's
going on here,
322
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:37,116
but I don't want
any part of it.
323
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,552
And I don't want
any part of anybody
324
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,554
that's got
any part of it.
325
00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:43,623
Aah!
326
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:48,794
Before you leave, sir,
uh, what about account?
327
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,396
What account?
328
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:54,100
[HORSES WHINNYING,
SHEEP BLEATING]
329
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,469
[CLATTERING]
330
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,876
RAVEN: All right,
everybody off the fat guy,
331
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:06,278
and clear out
till midnight.
332
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:08,581
[HORSES WHINNYING,
SHEEP BLEATING]
333
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,084
[DOOR CLOSES]
334
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,787
Darrin, I'm sorry.
335
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:17,857
Sam, I want you
to abdicate.
336
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,725
What?
I want you to quit!
337
00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:22,795
But I can't, I just took
the oath of office.
338
00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:25,831
Okay, you said you couldn't
refuse the crown.
339
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:29,668
Okay, so you accepted it.
You've been queen for a day.
340
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:30,803
That's enough!
341
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,004
No, it isn't.
342
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,205
I say it is!
343
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:36,642
I have to serve
for at least a year.
344
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,378
You didn't tell me that.
345
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,480
I didn't?
346
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:42,415
Mm-mm.
347
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:46,218
Oh. Well, I, uh--
Uh, I-- I--
348
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:49,055
Well, I guess you didn't ask.
349
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:52,758
Oh, now, Darrin,
please be reasonable.
350
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,260
A year isn't very long.
351
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:56,629
You'll see how quickly
it'll pass. Then I'll quit.
352
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:59,999
In that case, call me
in about a year.
353
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,267
I'll be at Joe's.
354
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,669
Joe's!
Joe's Bar and Grill.
355
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,538
But Darr-- Oh!
356
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:11,410
I tell you, a man
can take just so much,
357
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,345
then he has got
to walk.
358
00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:15,281
You're so right.
359
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:17,550
"It's just for a year,"
she says.
360
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,619
"Okay," I say.
"Call me in about a year."
361
00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:22,922
I'll be at
Joe's Bar and Grill.
362
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,024
I know how you feel.
363
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:27,626
I got a problem
with my wife too.
364
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:29,261
Her mother.
365
00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:30,763
With all due
respect, friend,
366
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,399
your problem can't
be as bad as mine.
367
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,901
My wife is queen
of the witches.
368
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:39,572
She can't be,
my mother-in-law's got that job.
369
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:51,217
Samantha,
it's almost midnight,
370
00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:52,785
and the transformees
will be arriving.
371
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:55,121
You should be getting
into your robes.
372
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:56,522
Thought I heard a car.
373
00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:58,524
Look, if he comes back,
he comes back.
374
00:20:58,524 --> 00:21:01,827
If he doesn't, we'll open
a bottle of champagne.
375
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,566
Well, I thought that
was rather a good idea.
376
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:12,304
Well, I'm just not going
to stand for it in my house.
377
00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:14,807
If I have to,
I won't go home for a year.
378
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:17,209
It's just about a year
since I've been home.
379
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,545
I mean it. I--
380
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:21,413
It is?
381
00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:23,983
I never should have told
my mother-in-law
382
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:26,785
to get out of the house.
383
00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:28,921
She owns it.
384
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:31,624
You haven't seen your family
in all that time?
385
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:35,427
MAN [WEEPING]:
I went back once.
386
00:21:35,427 --> 00:21:37,863
About six months ago.
387
00:21:38,597 --> 00:21:42,101
My kid didn't
recognize me.
388
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:43,802
And the dog bit me.
389
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:45,905
And he's my dog.
390
00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:51,710
Gee, comes in every night
and cries like that.
391
00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:52,878
What?
392
00:21:52,878 --> 00:21:55,614
You know pal, this job
gives me a chance
393
00:21:55,614 --> 00:21:57,716
to see some pretty
good observations.
394
00:21:57,716 --> 00:22:01,720
Now, he thinks his
mother-in-law's a holy terror
395
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:05,090
and uh, you think your wife's
queen of the witches.
396
00:22:05,090 --> 00:22:08,327
But if the truth
be it known,
397
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,296
they all got
their good points.
398
00:22:10,296 --> 00:22:11,864
Right, pal?
399
00:22:13,232 --> 00:22:15,601
They sure do, pal.
400
00:22:16,802 --> 00:22:18,437
They sure do.
401
00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:37,990
Hi.
Hi. Uh, say--
402
00:22:38,757 --> 00:22:40,559
You missed all
the excitement.
403
00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:42,461
She was sensational!
404
00:22:42,461 --> 00:22:44,630
The incantation
was beautiful.
405
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:46,432
And you know,
she actually produced
406
00:22:46,432 --> 00:22:48,300
a little
fire and brimstone!
407
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,836
Haven't seen that in ages.
408
00:22:50,836 --> 00:22:52,504
Oh?
409
00:22:52,504 --> 00:22:54,940
And then she touched each
one of us with her scepter
410
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:58,777
and presto! We were all back
to our original form.
411
00:22:59,445 --> 00:23:00,746
Is that better?
412
00:23:00,746 --> 00:23:03,782
You know, I'm gonna
miss being a bird.
413
00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:09,154
[MUTTERING] Gonna miss
being a bird...
414
00:23:16,262 --> 00:23:19,231
Samantha, bad news.
He's back!
415
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:23,168
Better hurry, Endora.
You'll be late for
the monster rally.
416
00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:26,005
Darrin!
417
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:30,042
Oh!
418
00:23:30,042 --> 00:23:33,779
Mother, don't you have
someplace to fly?
419
00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:35,514
[GRUNTS]
420
00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:38,817
Sweetheart.
Now, don't you know
421
00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:41,587
that you're more important
to me than any old crown.
422
00:23:41,587 --> 00:23:44,456
Now, I don't know what's
going to happen if I resign.
423
00:23:44,456 --> 00:23:46,558
No one's ever done it.
424
00:23:46,558 --> 00:23:48,360
But I'm going to.
425
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,496
Honey...
426
00:23:50,496 --> 00:23:52,865
I've been doing
some thinking too.
427
00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:54,700
And I don't want
to come home some day
428
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:56,535
and find out that
my child doesn't know me
429
00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:58,070
and have the dog bite me.
430
00:23:58,070 --> 00:23:59,371
What dog?
431
00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:01,840
That's right.
We don't have one.
432
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,543
Anyway, the thing
I realized is that...
433
00:24:05,544 --> 00:24:08,147
your being queen
is part of what you are.
434
00:24:08,147 --> 00:24:11,617
And if I love you enough,
I have to accept that.
435
00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:15,154
Just the way you accept
certain things about my world.
436
00:24:15,154 --> 00:24:16,722
So...
437
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:21,694
I'm at your disposal,
Your Majesty.
438
00:24:21,694 --> 00:24:24,263
[GIGGLES]
Rise, silly goose!
439
00:24:24,263 --> 00:24:26,598
[GASPS]
440
00:24:26,598 --> 00:24:30,669
Oh, Darrin!
Darrin, I'm terribly sorry.
441
00:24:31,503 --> 00:24:33,605
[SQUAWKS]
442
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,508
Oh, it was a terrible mistake.
443
00:24:36,508 --> 00:24:38,811
Darrin, come back here.
444
00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:42,081
Darrin. Darrin. Oh, please.
445
00:24:42,081 --> 00:24:43,215
Plea-- Darrin, please.
446
00:24:43,215 --> 00:24:45,918
If you'd just stand still,
then I can change you back.
447
00:24:45,918 --> 00:24:48,620
Sweetheart. Sweetheart.
Come on. Come on.
448
00:24:48,620 --> 00:24:49,788
[SQUAWKS]
449
00:24:49,788 --> 00:24:52,091
Oh, please! Darrin, please!
450
00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:56,795
[♪♪]
31432
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