All language subtitles for Bewitched S03E30 How to Fail in Business With All Kinds of Help_track3_[eng]

All right, Tabatha.
Lesson number one
in oven cleaning.

Fascinating, huh?

I knew it.
I knew it.

I knew that life
with that mortal
would finally get to you.

You’re taking gas.

With an electric stove?
That would be the
trick of the week.

My poor Samantha.

Where is your pride?
Do you realize you’re doing
all that grubby, menial work

right before the eyes
of your child?

You bet. I figure
she can’t learn too young.

Oh. Well, actually, darling,
I came to invite you

to the elephant races
at New Delhi.

DARRIN: Honey?
Oh. Not on an
empty stomach!

Good.

So long, hon.
Have a nice day.

Haven’t you heard?
Today is going to
turn the tide.

I believe these layouts
I’ve been working on

are going to knock
the prospective
client’s eyes out.

And I’m not going to be
too tough on Larry,

but I think the bonus I get
should cover the trip
to Bermuda we might take.

Might take?

Well, if the
prospective client
becomes "unprospective"...

Oh, sweetheart, he’ll love it.
I wouldn’t have it
any other way.

What do you mean by that?
Nothing. Just a little
wifely encouragement.

Then keep it that way, huh?
What...

Of course.
I’ll see you tonight.

Bye, sweetheart.
Bye-bye.

If you leave it to mere
wifely encouragement,

the closest you’ll ever get
to Bermuda will be an onion.

Oh, very funny.
You should be in Paris
or London.

Or going to the
elephant races with me.

But since he can’t afford it,

I think he needs help.

Mother, dear,
butt out.

Samantha, it is your
heritage, you know.

You should live
in the sparkle of a star.

In a flash of color.

Samantha, you’re a
creature of the wind.

Mother, speaking of wind,
why don’t you blow?

Samantha!

(WIND HOWLING)

(GROANING)

Oh! Oh, Mother!

Please! Speaking
of ill winds!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

This one is a beauty.
A real beauty.

You know, if Wilkerson likes
this stuff as much
as I think he will,

it could mean a lot more than
one little lipstick account.

We might even lock up
all the Madame Maruska
cosmetic products.

Lipstick, face cream,
hair spray, all that gook!

It’d be worth
millions to us.
Millions.

You know your eyes
light up when you talk
about money, Larry?

Of course.
I’m a greedy person.

(INTERCOM BUZZES)
Yes?

BETTY: Mr. Wilkerson
is waiting in the
conference room.

Be right there!
Be right there!

Widdershins
and darklings chuckle.

One man will shine,
one man will sparkle.

Stephens will seem
to you the best,

a better man
than all the rest.

Uh, no offense, Darrin,
but I think I’d better
carry the ball.

Arch Wilkerson’s
an old golf buddy of mine,

and I’m sure I’ll be
able to handle him
with just the right touch.

That’s fine with me, Larry.
You’re the boss.
Good boy.

Watch me have old Archie
eating right out of my hand.

Hey, Arch, have I got
a winner for you!

It’s sweeter than holding out
a 60-foot approach shot.

Yes, I’m sure it is, Larry.
You must be Stephens.

Well, it’s a pleasure to meet
you. Great pleasure indeed.

Well, I’m delighted
to meet you, sir.
Well, let’s get on it, Arch.

Believe me, it’s
a hole in one all the way!

Yes, of course,
Larry. What do you
think of it, Stephens?

Well, sir, we believe in the
campaign we have planned for
Madame Maruska’s new lipstick.

You give us the word, sir,
we’ll get the ball rolling.

Good! Very good, Stephens.
I like the way you put that.

STEPHENS: Thank you, sir.
But I said that exact
same thing to you, Arch.

Don’t you remember?
Yesterday at the clubhouse.

Yes, of course, Larry. Now
you’ve got my curiosity going.
Let’s see those layouts.

You’ll flip, Arch.
You know, when you and I
discussed this last week,

I decided then...
Yes, yes. I think
I should tell you, Stephens,

that this lipstick
is the key product
for our whole new line.

And Madame Maruska herself
is gonna be very much

interested in how
you handle it.

Well, I’m sure if she’ll drop
by the office, we’ll... What?
(LAUGHING)

Drop by the office!
Did you hear that, Arch?

Stephens doesn’t know what
we know about Madame Maruska.

Never makes personal calls,
a recluse in her ivory tower.

I remember you telling me
out on the fairway...

Larry, why don’t
you sit down?

We’re not out on
the golf course now.

Please go on,
Mr. Stephens.

Uh, well, I...
Now, you’ve got the ball,
kid. Tee off.

Well, sir, as we
saw the problem,
it was to introduce

a new product in a new area.

Now, I’m sure if
you study these,
sir, you’ll get the idea.

Ah! Yeah.
Uh-huh!

And then Mr. Wilkerson
insisted that
I be put in charge of

Madame Maruska’s account.

(GASPS)
Which means, dear girl,
if you care to plan ahead,

you may start packing
for Bermuda immediately.

Oh, Darrin!

Oh, that’s wonderful!
I’m so proud of you.

I can’t wait to tell Mother.

Why?
Why?

Why? So she can hear
the good news.

Sam, the last thing in the
world that your mother wants
to hear is good news about me.

Why are you so anxious
to tell her? What has your
mother got to do with this?

Nothing. Besides, at a time
like this, we’re certainly
not going to let

anything that Mother might say
or do bother us, are we?

What do you mean,
"might do or say"?
Did she do something?

What did she do?
It has to be something
underhanded, right?

Right.
Darrin, you keep asking and
answering your own questions.

I save a lot of time
that way. She did do
something, but what?

You want to answer
that one?
No.

No. It figures it had
something to do with work.

This morning. Wilkerson.

Was that the result of some
of her hocus-pocus?

Bingo!

Well, Darrin, I don’t really
know. All Mother said was...
Sure!

Sure. That’s why he took such
a shine to me and practically
ignored his old pal Larry!

She put a spell on him!
Darrin, give yourself credit.

Wilkerson liked you
because he liked your ideas.

Mother didn’t have anything
to do with that.

And I thought that Larry
was just overdoing
his old golf buddy bit.

But that Endora’s doing!
Sweetheart, you’re
jumping to conclusions.

Maybe I am,
and maybe I’m not.

But as long as
there’s a possibility
of that possibility,

it ruins the whole deal
for me.

Really, Samantha!

You picked a lemon
in the garden of love.

Mother, you did
influence Darrin’s client!

Naturally. But I did it
for you, darling.
Oh, for...

If I hadn’t, Mr. Wilkerson
wouldn’t have given
him the time of day.

You should be celebrating.
In my house we celebrate
the things I earn!

And I didn’t earn anything!

Mother, you had
no right to meddle.

Darrin can get ahead
strictly on his own.

Fat chance.

I can handle this, Sam.
Endora, you wasted your time.

You threw the Madame Maruska
account right into my lap.

I’m throwing it right back out
again. I’m taking myself
off the account.

Do you think that once
the wheels are in motion,
they can be stopped?

You bet your
sweet broom, I do!

Don’t be too sure
about that.

Just don’t
be too sure.

After all, Larry, you brought
Wilkerson into the office!

He’s your friend,
and I think it’s only fair

that you personally handle
the Maruska cosmetics account.

Fair, schmair.
Look at me, Darrin.

Is this the face
of a sensitive man?
But, Larry...

Wilkerson wants you.
I want that Maruska account.
So what’s the problem?

What about your pride?
My what?

Wilkerson likes you better
than he likes me, so I’ll cry
all the way to the bank.

Mr. Stephens!
She’s here!

She is? Who’s
"she," Betty?

Madame Maruska!
Unbelievable!

And she wants to see you
personally, Mr. Stephens.

That’s great. That’s great.
Show her in. Show her in!

Madame Maruska
never leaves her salon,
but she’s coming to see you.

She must have flipped
over your ideas!

It’s fantastic.
It certainly
is unbelievable.

Gentlemen. This outfit
is from my spring collection.

Tell me how
you love it.
I adore it!

I think it is
quite mad.
Quite mad.

Mah-roosh-kah!
That is how
you say my name.

Mah-roosh-kah. You try.

Mah-roosh-kah!
Mah-roosh-kah!

Fair. But you will learn.
We’ll practice.

As you know,
I do not usually attend
business discussions.

So dull. But my Mr. Wilkerson,
he was so impressed.

Tell me. Which one
is Steffins?

Uh, he is, Maruska.

Mah-roosh-kah!

Uh, Darrin Steffins.
Stephens.

Stephens, uh,
my assistant.

And I’m Larry Tate.
We’re glad you came over.

We can’t wait
to get moving...
Ah!

That is why
I have come to you.

If this dear man is
to work for my firm,

Then he must have
a very responsible position
in your firm.

A partner, I should think.

Yes! A partner.

You want Mr. Tate
to make me a partner?

You want me
to make him
a partner?

It is my policy
never to do business
with a man whose name

is not part
of the name
of the company.

Are you suggesting...
Precisely. McMann,
Tate and Steffins.

Stephens.
But Madame Maruska...

Mah-roosh-kah!
Madame Mah-roosh-kah,
I hardly think...

I never entrust
a new campaign
to an employee.

No, no, no, no.

I want someone
with the authority
to make decisions.

I insist upon
that, Mr. Tate.

Then it is
settled, no?

No!
Steffins!

I’m sure we can work
something out.

Just a minute! If I’m to be
made a partner, that should be
Mr. Tate’s decision.

He shouldn’t be forced into
it. I’d resign before
I’d allow that to happen.

Ah, now, I understand you!

If you had had the drive,

it would have been
McMann, Tate and Steffins
a long time ago!

I know your type.
You are afraid of success.

Afraid of success?
You know my type?
That’s right, Steffins!

Stephens!
Derwin... Darrin Stephens!

And I’ll thank you
to use my correct name!

Darrin is getting
no apologies from me.

Oh, Mother, please stay
until Darrin gets home,

And then sort of
bury the hatchet.

I’d love to.
Where?

How dare you!
You heard me, you phony!

Get out.

Darrin, have you
flipped your wig?

Larry, I know what I’m doing!

This is not Madame Maruska!
She’s a fake! Now, get out!

Oh!
Are you Madame Maruska?

(YELLING)

The account, Darrin!
You just blew
a million-dollar account.

Larry, we haven’t
lost a thing.
You must be kidding!

She was a complete fake.
Darrin, are you sure?
How do you know?

I can’t tell you how I know,
but believe me, I know.

But how?
Uh, just a minute.

She was a spy.

You know how
unscrupulous agencies
try to steal accounts?

That’s what was
happening here.

A spy?
Yeah. Well, I’m gonna take
the rest of the afternoon off.

I have something very
important
to take care of at home.

Sure, sure.
She was a spy.

She was?

Sure, she was.

Was she?

Samantha?
Samantha!

What’s wrong, sweetheart?
Wouldn’t Larry let you off
the account?

I didn’t get a chance
to argue the point with him.

Something a little more
important came up!
Like what?

Like...

Her nibs!
Are you referring to me?

I’m not referring
to Maruska!

Samantha...

Can you translate that
gibberish, or am I to be
left in the dark?

Now, don’t try to brazen
it out. She came
to my office today

and tried to pass herself off
as Madame Maruska!

Well, I saw through
her little disguise and
tossed her out on her ear.

How’d you like
them apples, Endora?

You’re sick.

Uh, sweetheart.

Mother wasn’t in your office.
She was with me all morning.

Sure, she was!
Come on, Sam,
don’t alibi for her.

That’s no alibi.

She was here
all the time.

SAMANTHA: Mmm-hmm.
When, all the time?

This morning,
all the time.

Your mother was really
here with you?

Yes, Darrin.
She really was.

You’ve never lied to me,
have you, Sam?

No, sweetheart.

Not even this one time?

Darrin, Mother was here
with me all morning.

I could forgive a little
lie this one time.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Hello.
Oh, hi, Larry.

But... (STUTTERS)

Mmm-hmm.

Madame Maruska. I threw
Madame Maruska
out of my office,

along with
a million-dollar account.

So why shouldn’t I be fired?

Oh, Darrin.
I certainly can’t allow you to
lose that precious little job.

And I’m not gonna
sit by and watch you
take the bread out of

my granddaughter’s
tiny little mouth.

Now, one simple
incantation...
No!

Well, it is
my fault,
in a way.

No! No witchcraft, nothing.
I’ll handle this my way.

If I fall on my head,
well, I fall on my head.
But you stay out of my life!

Darrin, can’t I do something?

No! No!

(DOOR SLAMS)

But I’m sure she’ll see me.
I know I don’t have
an appointment,

but I’ve got to see Madame
Maruska. It’s a matter
of life or death. Mine!

Well, maybe I
can catch her
between calls.

All right, you can wait.
But no promises.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Maruska think that there
is no more to say!

Madame Maruska,
please let me explain.

Forget it, Stephens.
She’s not having any.
Larry.

Mr. Steffins, I am so glad
that you are here also.

Now, I can be rid of both of
you at the same instant!

Well, you have
every right to be angry.
I can’t explain my actions,

but I am sorry,
and I humbly apologize.

I do not accept
your apology!

Well, then don’t!
But you’re supposed to be
a businesswoman.

At least look at the layouts
on Larry’s portfolio.

If you don’t like them,
I’ll leave without being told.

But, uh, don’t dismiss my
company just because
I made a little mistake.

Very well, Mr. Steffins.

I won’t have it said
that Madame Maruska made
a business decision

based on personal reactions.

Hmm.

Hmm! "Don’t play fair.

"Use Madame Maruska’s
Lipstick."

Isn’t that something?
I hate it!

Goodbye, peasants!

Nothing personal,
Darrin, but I think
I’ll have you shot.

Oh, Larry, please!
Let’s talk! Uh...

Let me buy you a drink.
All right, Stephens.
One drink.

But don’t talk to me.
I’m liable to lose control.

(DOOR SHUTS)

It was all sewed up.

You had to get that crazy idea
Madame Maruska was a fake.

The whole sweet deal...

Larry, for the last
two hours you’ve been
going on and on and on.

Why did you do it, Darrin?
Why did I do it?

The whole smear. Why?

I can’t tell you.
You can tell me.

No, I can’t.
You can tell me.

Okay. I thought my mother-
in-law turned herself into
Madame Maruska to foul me up.

So I threw her out.
Can’t tell me, huh?

Right.

Look at that.
Isn’t that a
great layout?

"Don’t play fair.
Use Madame Maruska Lipstick."

(SIGHS)
Best thing I ever did.

Yeah. Great.

Bartender!
Yes, sir?

May I?
Hey, that’s my paper.

That’s my layout!
Somebody stole it,
line for line!

Let’s get back
to the office and check
the newspaper listings.

We’ll find out who did this.
We’ll find out who’s guilty,
and he’s gonna pay, boy, pay!

Gimme my paper.
LARRY: We’ll fix
that dirty crook!

Darrin, you’re
that dirty crook!

I didn’t do it.
I don’t remember signing
these authorizations.

Well, I don’t remember
typing them, Mr. Stephens,
but there they are!

Authorizations for newspapers,
posters, leaflets, billboards.

Billboards too?
You authorized this agency
to pay for all that promotion,

and we don’t even have
the account?

Do you know how much this
is going to cost us? Do you?

Stephens! Come
back here! Stephens!

SAMANTHA: Darrin, please
try to understand.

Witchcraft is what
got you into this mess, and
witchcraft can get you out.

Sam, it’s no use.
I’m going to spend the night
at the club.

You don’t belong to a club.
I’ll join one.

Darrin, now listen.
I placed your ads. Your
ads! They were wonderful.

Madame Maruska was wrong
and you were right.

Sam, I know you meant well.
You always mean well!

I’m almost used to
your mother’s meddling.

After all, she’s supposed
to be a colossal pain.
She’s a mother-in-law!

But when you start doing it,
well, that’s just too much.

It is just too, too much.

Darrin.
Goodbye, Sam.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

You son of a gun!
You old son of a gun!

You’re wearing two coats.
I know. You want to tell me

how much money
I cost the company.

Well, don’t worry about it.
I’ll see you get
every penny back!

Wait a minute!
Wait a minute.

Will you listen to him
Sam? The guts of a
riverboat gambler,

and he’s worried about
a few measly thousand.

Larry, what happened?

What happened?
You wheeler dealer.

Placed Madame Maruska’s ads
in the paper even though
we didn’t have a contract.

And it paid off.

It paid off?
Mr. Innocent, huh?

Why, an hour after those ads
hit the paper, every chain
store in town

was on the phone
to Madame Maruska, doubling
their lipstick orders.

"Don’t play fair.

"Use Madame Maruska’s
Lipstick." It’s sheer genius!

The ads worked.
Worked? Why, I’m on my way
over to her salon right now

with the contracts
for a complete line.

And you did it, fella.
You really did it.

Two coats, huh?
Maybe I’ll try that.

The ads worked.
She signed up
the entire line.

Sweetheart, it was
your ads that did it.

I just placed them. Any
office boy could’ve done that.

Sam, it was
still witchcraft.
You did it.

I could’ve been that office
boy if I’d had as much faith
in my work as you did.

It doesn’t matter. Even if I
should’ve done it, you did it,
and you shouldn’t have done it

Even if I
should’ve
done it.

That doesn’t
make any sense.

I know it doesn’t.

I just want you to forgive me,
and I don’t know how to ask.

(CHUCKLES)
You don’t have to ask.

That’s what I call success.

(YAWNS)
I’m beat.

Good night, sweetheart.
Good night, sweetheart.

Oh, darn.

It’s going to be chilly,
and I left Tabatha’s
comforter downstairs.

Oh, hold it.
Don’t run up and down
the stairs.

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
That’s very nice of you.

Well, I’m not going
to do it.

You know...

Why, Darrin, I’m shocked.

You said...
In this case I’ll make
an exception.

At least until I can afford
an upstairs maid.

Thank you.

All done.

Oops. My turn.

Darrin!
How did you do that?

I pulled the plug.

Oh.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)