All language subtitles for Bewitched S03E28 No More, Mr. Nice Guy_track3_[eng]

Mmm. Marvelous breakfast.

Beautiful wife.
I think it’s going
to be a gorgeous day.

I think I’ll quit my job
and enjoy it all.

(GRUNTS)

Think I’ll begin
by going back to bed.

Oh, fine, fine. I’ll just
have the postman slip
our bills under your pillow.

I get the message.
The slave’s off and running.

See you tonight, sweetheart.
Yes, sweetheart.

ENDORA:
Now, listen very carefully,
dear, and watch Grandmama.

Oh, witches
of the yesteryear,

Grant me this wish
to disappear.

See how simple it is,
dear?

It’s really very easy,
darling. Now, why don’t
you try it, huh?

Oh, no, she won’t!

When did you swoop in?
We have doorbells, you know.

Oh?

And I warned you about
teaching Tabatha
that hocus-pocus.

Oh, don’t be such a bore.
We were just playing
a little game.

I saw that game.
I’ve told you
a thousand times,

witchcraft will not
be practiced in this house!

What on earth
is going on?

Just Darwin,

whispering
at his usual level.

(SHOUTING)
I’ve had it with her!

All right, sweetheart.

You’re gonna be late for work.
I’ll settle everything.

Okay, okay!

But just keep that harpy
away from my daughter!

And me!

I’ll see you tonight,
sweetheart.

He’s really too much.

Mother, what was it
this time?

Oh, nothing!

He was just being
his usual self. Difficult.

Well, that’s utter nonsense.

You provoke him.
He gets along beautifully
with everybody but you.

Ha, ha, ha.
Well, it’s true.

In business and
everything else, people find
Darrin extremely likable.

Come on, sweetheart.
Time for your breakfast.
Here we go.

Hmph. People find Dum-Dum
extremely likable.

Oh, they do, do they?
(CHUCKLES)

Well, let’s see
how likable he can be.
(ROBE BELLS TINKLING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Say, I like this type
you’ve selected, Darrin.
Bold, has authority.

Thanks, Larry.
(INTERCOM BUZZES)

Yeah?
It’s for you, Larry.

Mmm.

Hello? Oh, yes.
Send him in here.

Frank Eastwood, an assistant
from the mayor’s office.

Well, he can’t want
a contribution.
Campaign’s over.

Not for us, it isn’t. I didn’t
have time to tell you, but
they want McMann and Tate

to create a new image
for the mayor.

Isn’t that a little
out of our line, Larry?

Not at all.
It’s a very large fee.

Besides, it will open
a whole new field for us,

so turn on the charm,
my boy.

Hello, Larry!
Frank, my buddy!
Nice to see you.

I don’t believe you know
my associate, Darrin Stephens.

Glad to meet you,
young fella.

The pleasure’s mine, sir.

Have a seat, Frank.
Shall we discuss
this over some coffee?

How do you take yours,
Frank?

Cream and sugar, please.

And you take yours black,
right, Darrin?

Right, black.

Oh, tiny wizard
of the irascible spell,

at the teeny sound
of your tinkling bell,

the new acquaintance,
this mortal meets,

he will dislike,

and with loathing treat.

(TINKLES)

You don’t like cream?

Uh, no.

Why not? What have you
got against cream?

DARRIN: I don’t have anything
against cream.

Gentlemen. Gentlemen,
let’s forget about the coffee,
shall we?

And get on with the campaign.
All right. All right.

This campaign for the mayor
has to be handled with the
utmost tact and diplomacy.

I understand, sir.
How can you understand,
Stephens?

I haven’t even mentioned
the problem yet!

Why don’t you just be quiet
until you know
what’s going on?

Look, Frank.
Let me assure you
we’re here to listen,

And do the best campaign
we can.

Oh, I know you are, Larry.
You’re an old friend.

And I trust your judgment
completely.

Good. Now just tell us what
sort of image for the mayor
you would like us to mold.

Well, Mayor Rockland
is a fine administrator.

But he lacks color and appeal.

He’s sort of old-fashioned
in his dress and speech.

LARRY: Stephens here is an
expert at creating
colorful phrases

that we can sprinkle liberally
into the mayor’s speeches.

All right, Stephens.
Let’s hear some of those
colorful phrases of yours.

Well, I’ll have to give that
some thought, sir.

Well now, that’s a cliche
if I ever heard one. The mayor
uses that line every day!

I wasn’t suggesting
he use it!

Why not?
What’s wrong with it?
Got him elected, didn’t it?

Yes, it did.
And I voted for him.

Stephens, I resent
your toadying attitude.

I didn’t come here to seek
political patronage.

I thought you might have
some ideas about
public relations.

Well, I’m sorry!

Uh, perhaps it might be better
if, uh, you gentlemen
discussed this campaign alone.

Oh, you’re walking out
on us, huh?

Politics are beneath you,
is that it?

You’re only interested in
tawdry commercial accounts.

I don’t think Darrin meant...
FRANK: Don’t apologize
for him, Larry.

But in view of
his personality,

I don’t see how
we can possibly
put the mayor’s image

In the hands of this agency.

Frank! Frank, I...
I’ll call you.

Why did you do that?

Do what?
Why did you rub him
the wrong way?

I didn’t, Larry!
You heard him.

He was the one
who got outta line.

The client never
gets out of line.

For some reason or other,
he just took an instant
dislike to me.

Loathed you,
is the way I’d put it.

We can’t have that,
not in our business.

(SIGHS)

Mr. Stephens?

Mr. Stephens, there’s someone
here to see you.

Hmm?

That model Mr. Tate wanted you
to interview for the Baldwin
Blanket account. She’s here.

Who?

Is something wrong,
Mr. Stephens?

Wrong? Uh, what, uh...
What’s wrong about me?

Oh, nothing, sir.
Nothing’s wrong with you
as far as I’m concerned.

Would you please send in
the model?
Yes, sir.

Miss Adams?

Thank you.
Mm-hmm.

Hello, Mr. Stephens.
I’m Gloria Adams.

The Summit Model Agency
sent me.

It’s nice to meet you,
Miss Adams.

Since it’s for Baldwin
Blankets, I thought this
costume might be appropriate.

(STAMMERING) Th...
The nightgown’s
a very good idea,

but I don’t think
it’s necessary.

(TINKLING)

You mean you want to see
more of me?

Oh, no! No!
I... I... I just mean
you come highly recommended,

and I’m sure you’ve had
a great deal of experience.

And what do you mean
by that crack?

Uh, nothing at all!
I mean you’ve had a great deal
of experience modeling.

Yes. That’s very lovely.
I’m sure you’ll do nicely.

Do what?

Nothing!

Here. Let me help you.

Don’t you dare touch me!

Come on, Miss Adams!
I’m a happily married man!

Oh, that is what
they all say. Beast.

I...

Wow.

All right, all right.
I believe you.

So you didn’t get out of line
with her. But the Summit Model
Agency did report to me

that she was highly incensed.

Incensed! She’s a kook!

(INTERCOM BUZZES)

Yes? Oh.
Send him right in.

I can’t understand it!
She acted like I was
some kind of bluebeard!

Forget it. We can always
find another model,

but not another account as
lucrative as Baldwin Blankets.

Now, for heaven’s sake
make a good impression
on Baldwin, please!

Ah, Horace.
Larry.

I wanted you to see this
immediately.

It’s just off the loom.

The new super electronic
Baldwin special.

Horace, it’s a beauty.

Say, you haven’t met
Darrin Stephens,
our top man.

He’s got some great
promotion ideas.

Happy to make
your acquaintance, Darrin.

Well,
I’ve been looking forward
to meeting you, sir.

Well, now let’s get down
to business.

Darrin, where are those
great slogans you brought me?
Hmm?

I put them right
on your desk, Larry.
(TINKLING)

Get off that blanket, boy!

Oh! Excuse me, sir.

It’s the new super
electronic Baldwin,
not a doormat.

Here they are.
They’re your ideas, Darrin.

I think you, uh,
better read them, Larry.

What’s the matter?
Haven’t you got any faith
in them?

I certainly have, sir!

I think we can get a campaign
going that will have your

Blankets selling like
hotcakes!

I don’t like overconfidence.

What Stephens means is that he
has confidence in the
excellence of your product.

Well, why didn’t he say so?
I did say so!

We’re going to stress
the quality and the durability
of the Baldwin blanket,

And also the beauty
and the comfort.

Mmm. Sounds like you’re
using the hard sell,

And my blankets
are soft.

Oh. Well, uh,

we intend to use soft humor
in the slogans.

Larry. Like this.

"For full protection,
Baldwin blankets
keep you covered."

It’s scary.

The word "protection" will
make the customers think about
burglars, not sleep.

Burglars.
Well, how about this?

"Make your security blanket
a Baldwin."

Make your jokes
on your own time, Stephens.

Horace, perhaps we ought to
give this campaign
some more thought.

BALDWIN: I’m sorry, Larry,

he just hasn’t got the feel
for my blankets.

And chemically,
we don’t hit it off.

He’s some kind of
a kook too!

Well, Larry, say something!
That’s not rational behavior.

Speaking of behavior,

this is the third time
this morning you’ve provoked
hostility in the office.

Well, it’s not me!

No, it’s not!
You’re not yourself.

Your personality’s taken
a swan dive, and two accounts
have gone down with it.

I just don’t understand it,
Larry.

Neither do I. Why don’t you
take the afternoon off and
talk to someone who might?

Like who?

Like Bob Farnsworth.

The psychiatrist?

Now, just a minute, Larry!
Bob’s okay as an occasional
golf partner,

but I just don’t swing
with this
head-shrinking jazz!

Don’t be medieval, Darrin.
You need
psychiatric first-aid.

What I need,
Max can handle!

Max?

He’s my favorite bartender.

Even the door hates me.

Another one, Mr. Stephens?

No, Max.
Nothing’s going to help.

Nobody likes me.

Yeah?
How come?

Down, down, down...
(IMITATES CRASH)
Personality crackup.

Hey, buddy boy,
you know what? I went to
Philadelphia yesterday.

Shut up, Harry.
You sure nobody likes you?

They loathe me,
the whole world.

Hey, pal. You know what?

Yeah, we know.
Yesterday you went
to Philadelphia.

And it was closed.

Okay, now beat it.
Don’t bother Mr. Stephens.

It’s all right, Max.
Let him stay. I need a friend.

Boy, you are in a bad way.

Washed up. My boss
even tried to send me
to a psychiatrist.

Aw, you don’t need
a "psycho-diatrist,"
buddy boy.

Clam up, Harry.
What do you know about it?

Last year I started going
to a psychiatrist

about my drinking.

Are you still going?

No, I gave him up.

I couldn’t afford the booze
and him too.
(LAUGHS)

Beat it, Harry.

Who needs ya?
You crumb.

You see, Max?
Even him!

Oh, don’t pay any attention
to that bum.

Everybody treats me
like that.

Yeah? Well, there’s
gotta be a reason.

Maybe your boss was right.
Maybe you got one of them
complexes.

Does it show that much?
Well, I don’t know.
I ain’t no skull doctor.

You think I need one too.

Well, it can’t hurt.

You’re right, pal.

(COIN CLINKS ON FLOOR)

(RINGING)

Hello?
Oh, hi, Larry.

Darrin?

What would he be
doing home at this hour?
Isn’t he at the office?

Troubled?
What do you mean, troubled?

Uh, now, don’t get upset,
Samantha. It’s probably
nothing serious.

It’s just that he’s
developed some sort of
personality problem.

Has anything gone wrong
at home?

No, of course not.
What do you mean,
personality problem?

Well, all morning long
people have been taking
an instant dislike to him,

including one of our
most important clients,
Horace Baldwin.

I don’t understand.

I don’t understand it
either, Sam.

But fortunately Baldwin called
and he said he’s reconsidered
his attitude toward Darrin.

He’s on his way over
to give him another chance.

Well, Larry, we have to
find him. Where do you think
he could have gone?

Well, he was headed
for a bar.
A bar!

And grill. I called there,
but he had left.

Say, maybe he took my advice
and is with Bob Farnsworth.

The psychiatrist?

Yes, the psychiatrist.
I don’t want to interrupt
the session.

He certainly needs help.
If you hear from him, Sam,
would you tell him

to get back to the office
as soon as he can?

Oh, yes, yes, I will, Larry.

Uh, bye.

Psychiatrist?
Darrin?

But everyone likes Darrin.

Everyone except...

Mother! Mother,
I want to talk to you.

I know your spiteful spells.

You’re antagonizing people
against Darrin.

You materialize this instant.

(SIGHS)
Mother, you’re putting
the mother-in-law business

out of business.

Tell me, how long have you had
this feeling that people
dislike you?

Just since this morning.

I think your inner conflicts
have been building up
ever since your marriage.

It all starts
in the home, you know.

Uh, I’m very happily married.

Only on the surface, Darrin.
Deep down, you’re seething.

Bob, y... You’ve got it
all wrong.

Perhaps. But you’re
certainly overreacting
to my suggestion.

I am not! I am not.
I love my wife.

All right. But let’s keep
an open mind, shall we?

Then if we happen to find
any little hidden resentments
towards your wife’s behavior,

we can bring them out
into the open.

I don’t resent her.
The whole suggestion
is ridiculous.

I don’t think so.
It’s a typical American male
attitude to be fearful

of revealing
a wife’s domination.

Samantha does not
dominate me.

I didn’t say she did.

But you applied my general
observation to yourself.

That’s because you’re
getting me all mixed up.

Now, that’s a healthy sign.
I think if we dig a little
deeper into your ego,

your marriage,
we can cure your problem.

What’s wrong?

Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.
Not with you.

You seem to be
a very fine person.

Calm, well-adjusted,
one of the nicest men
I’ve ever met.

I’m the hostile personality
around here.

I’m the one who should be
seeing a psychiatrist.

Where are you going?
To see my psychiatrist.

And if you
think I’m expensive,
you should have to go to him!

Sam, what are you doing here?

Don’t worry, I got Aunt
Hagatha to sit with Tabatha.

How did you know I was here?

Never mind that now.
Larry needs you
back at the office.

Honey, I can’t go back there.
I’ll just cause more trouble.

Oh, Darrin.

It isn’t you.
It’s Mother.

Yes, you see, she put
some kind of spell on people
so they dislike you.

I should have known
this was Endora’s sandbag!

I’m afraid so.

But you’d better get back
to the office. Mr. Baldwin’s
coming to see you again.

What good will that do?
Baldwin will still have
Endora’s whammy on him.

I’ll try and find her
and get her to take it off.

But meanwhile, you be very,
very, very nice to him.

Be sweet as pie.
Now, hurry up.

Well, Darrin will be pleased
that your attitude toward him
has changed.

(DOOR OPENS)
Well, here he is now.

Mr. Baldwin! I can’t tell you
how marvelous it is

to have the pleasure
of your company again, sir!

Well, thanks.
It’s so very, very, very
nice of you to come back.

Yes, sirree, sir!

Certainly pleased,
all right, isn’t he?

Well, Stephens, I felt
that I was a little hasty
and abrupt in my judgment

of you and your ideas
this morning.

Oh, not at all, sir.
It was entirely my fault.
You were right, sir.

I should have paid more
attention to your ideas.

Excuse me, is that lint
on your suit, sir?

Oh, that’s a beautiful suit,
sir. May I compliment you
on your taste?

I guess so.

Well, as I was about to say...

(EXHALES)
what was I gonna say?

That you liked Stephens’
ideas for Baldwin Blankets.

Yes. Yes!

I particularly like
the slogan that goes,

"For full protection,
Baldwin Blankets
keep you covered."

Are you absolutely certain
you like it, Mr. Baldwin?

I’ll do anything to make
it better. I’m sure
that I can improve it.

No, I like it just the way
it is.

Are you positive, sir?
After all, here at McMann...

Yes, Darrin.
He’s positive.

Oh, that’s wonderful,
Mr. Baldwin!

Won’t you have a cigar, sir?
They’re the very finest.
I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

No, thanks.
Don’t smoke cigars.

That’s very wise of you, sir.

Can I do anything else for
you?

I’d just like to get on
with it.

Good idea, Horace.

You’re tired,
Mr. Baldwin.

Why don’t you sit down here,
sir? This chair
is very comfortable.

I don’t wanna sit down!
I want to get this meeting
over with and go to lunch.

You’re hungry!
I’ll run right downstairs
and get you a sandwich!

Darrin!

Oh. What would you like, sir?
Ham, corned beef?
How about a club?

Club?
Don’t tempt me.

I’d be only too happy
to get it for you, sir.

Horace, since you seem to be

In agreement with the way
we’re going
to handle this campaign

why don’t we get together some

other time so you won’t be
late for your luncheon
appointment.

Larry, a great suggestion.
The account’s yours.

Oh, thank you, Horace.
Go ahead without me.

Mr. Baldwin, I’ll be looking
forward to our next meeting.

At your convenience,
of course, sir.
I like your work, Stephens.

But I don’t think we’ll
need any more meetings.

Well, we got the account
back again, but you almost
lost it.

I was only trying
to be likable.

I liked you better
when you were unlikable.

Samantha! Sam!

Hi, sweetheart.
Is something the matter?

This time your mother’s
gone too far.

What’d she do now?

She took the spell off,
that’s what she did!

Well, since when is that
something to complain about?

When she takes the spell off,
and I don’t know
the spell is off,

and I proceed to make a fool
out of myself in front of
Larry and Mr. Baldwin,

that’s when it’s something
to complain about!

I tried to call you, but your
secretary said you were busy
and couldn’t be disturbed.

I was busy,
getting myself nominated
as the boob of the year!

But only after I’d won
the vote as the most
disliked boob of the year.

It’s a cinch I don’t have to
worry about my popularity.

Well, I should hope not.

Huh?

Well, not with everything else
you have to worry about.

What "everything else"?

Well, like your charm,
your good looks,

your wonderful personality,
your funny crooked smile,

your great sense of humor,
your warmth and sincerity.

Gee, I didn’t know
my smile was crooked.

Darrin.
What?

I’m telling you
I love you.

And I love you.

Crooked, how?