All language subtitles for Bewitched S03E27 The Crone of Cawdor_track3_[eng]

(SAM)
Well, I’m meeting Darrin
for lunch about 1:00,

so if you got here about noon,
it’d be perfect.

Okay? Bye-bye.

Who was that, honey?
The sitter?
Mmm-hmm.

Who’d you get?
My mother.

Since when do you talk
to your mother on the phone?
I wasn’t on the phone.

Oh. Honey,
about lunch.

I’ve been wondering,
is it wise to go
to la Bella Donna?

The service is awfully slow.
Oh, sweetheart.

The whole point
is that’s where we
had lunch on our first date,

if the service had been
any faster, we might never
have gotten married.

That’s true.

Unless, of course,
you haven’t got the time.

Well, I do have
a very heavy afternoon.

But I’ve only got one
appointment this morning:
the Warbell Dress account.

Warbell? I thought
you said he was one
of your toughest clients.

He is, but I’m meeting
with his daughter, Terry.

She’s been made
advertising
manager of the firm.

Look, just call me
if you have a problem.

It’s wonderful you remembered.
Most men don’t even remember
their wedding anniversary.

They would if they were
married to you.

Mmm!

Because you...
Are unforgettable.

What did I ever do
to deserve you?

That’s what I’ve been asking
ever since you married.

Endora, this day is so special
that not even you
are going to spoil it.

Good-bye, sweetheart.
Good-bye, darling.

Good-bye,
Endora, dear.

I may be violently ill.

Mother?
Hmm.

You know very well
you catch more flies
with honey than with vinegar.

Tell that
to the Dodger outfield.
(LAUGHS)

(HORN HONKS)

Hi! Aren’t you
Darrin Stephens?

Yes, I am.
I don’t believe--

No, we haven’t met.
But we’re supposed to
in about 20 minutes.

I’m Terry Warbell.
Oh, how do you do?

Isn’t this a coincidence?
It certainly is.

I thought your folks
lived in Larchmont.

They do, but since
I’m going to be working
with McMann and Tate,

I got an apartment
not far from here.

Well, how about that?
I better hurry. I’ll be
late for our meeting.

I have an idea.
Why don’t you
ride down with me,

we can talk on the way.

Well, that’s very
sweet of you, but I’ll
be needing my car later on.

That’s an even better idea.
I’ll go along with you.

But, uh...

You see, the sooner
we get started,

the earlier we’ll finish.
Okay.

There, that’s a human being
for you.

One minute he’s so sweet you
have to go on
a sugar-free diet.

And then he goes out
and picks up the first
gorgeous face he sees.

Mother, he was just
giving her a lift.

From what I can see,
vice versa.

Any woman whose husband
remembers the date

of their first meeting
has nothing to worry about.

I’m glad you feel that way,
darling.

I do.
Good.

Do you really think
she was that gorgeous?

Oh, comme ci, comme ca.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

And although I understand
Warbell’s interest in a class
magazine like Knickerbocker’s,

my study shows that,
on a cost-per-thousand basis,

we could do much better in
some of the mass-circulation
magazines.

How do you feel?
Just wonderful.

I, I mean about
the mass-circulation
magazines.

The what?

Miss Warbell--

Terry.

Uh, Terry. I, uh--

I think you have something
on your mind.

I do. I was wondering
where we were going for lunch.

Lunch. Oh, I’m sorry.

I’m afraid that’s impossible.
I have a very important
lunch date.

Oh, and you can’t break it?
Even for me?

I just couldn’t.

Well, Darrin, how are you
getting along
with the loveliest

advertising manager
ever to grace these offices?

Fine, fine.
Everything okay?

I think he’s absolutely
marvelous, even if he won’t
take me to lunch.

Well, most of our clients
feel that Darrin--
Won’t take you to lunch?

It’s just that I have
a very important engagement
I can’t break.

Darrin,
you must be sick, or you
wouldn’t even dream of turning

down this lovely young lady.

Even if she weren’t
the daughter of one of our
oldest and biggest accounts.

Sorry, it, it’s just
one of those things.

See you a minute, old man?

Uh, certainly.
Excuse me.

Be right back.

What do you mean, you can’t
break your lunch date?
Who’s it with?

Samantha.
Your wife?

You’re putting me on.

Larry, it’s
a very important lunch.

What’s so important
about lunch with your wife?

Well, it’s the anniversary
of our first meeting.

Big deal!
Bring her a box of candy!

Larry, I promised.

So what? Now, take it from
an older and wiser hand.

It won’t be the last promise
you break.

You read me?

Larry--
Darrin, my boy,
remember this.

At McMann and Tate,
no sacrifice is too great.

You lucky son of a gun.

Now, get on the horn
and tell Sam the lunch is off.

Larry, we’ve been through this
before. There’s no sense
threatening me.

Oh. Well, let’s
put it this way.

You take miss
Warbell to lunch,
or you’re fired.

Now I read you.

How do I look?

Too good for him.
Oh, mother.

Now, in just a little while,
Darrin and I
will be reliving

one of the most
romantic moments
of our lives.

Now, can’t you try to be
a little happy for us?

All right.

But it’s very difficult
to change the habit
of a lifetime, dear.

(PHONE RINGS)
Excuse me.

Hello. Oh, hi, sweetheart.

Uh, Samantha, something’s
come up. I’m afraid I won’t
be able to make lunch.

Oh, sweetheart.
Business, huh?

What else?

Oh, I don’t know.

I thought maybe Miss Warbell
had swept you off your feet.

Is that who you’re
having lunch with?

Uh, that’s right.
Exactly.

We haven’t finished
our business, see.

I see.
Is she as pretty as that
girl I saw getting in the car

with you this morning?

They’re, uh, practically
identical, if you know
what I mean.

You mean
that’s Miss Warbell?

That’s right.

How’d she know
where you live?

I’ll explain that to you
tonight... If I can.

Well, all right,
sweetheart.
Bye-bye.

Well, what’s the story?

Darrin’s taking a client
to lunch.

You mean it’s that girl
he drove off
with this morning?

Oh, mother, it’s business,
pure and simple.
(SCOFFS)

Don’t talk to me
about being pure.
I saw that girl,

and I’d like to know
what kind of business.

Really!

You’re my daughter,
and if that mortal
means so much to you--

And I can’t imagine why--

But if he does,
you’ve got to do something.

Like what?

Well, if I were you,
I’d pop in to that office,

and I’d find out
what was going on.

Well, you’re not me.

Now, you handle things
your way, and I’ll
handle things mine.

That’s a good idea.

Oh, mother!
That’s not what I meant!

We should be back about 2:00,
Betty. Where would you
like to have lunch?

Anywhere you say.
You still have a reservation
at la Bella Donna,

if you’d like
to eat there.

Well, uh, the service there
is awfully slow.

Sounds perfect.
That’s where I’d like to go.

Well, Betty, then we’ll be
back in an hour and a half,
or two hours.

Yes, Mr. Stephens.
Oh, Miss Warbell,

I’m dying to ask you
a question.

What is it?

Do you think boots
will be popular next year?

I’d say that all depends on
how boots behaves herself
this year.

Well, shall we go?
I’m starved.

Yes.

Oh! I don’t want to leave
without my notes.

I hate to rush you through
lunch, but I have a
lot of notes to go through

Oh, uh, excuse me a minute.

Oh, there you are,
Miss Warbell.

I’m Miss Krovistrod.
I write the fashion copy
for Tate and McMann.

I’ve seen your picture
a million times.

Now, I just want to get
a little advance

on what you’re planning
for next season.

Uh, are we through with
those long skirts the girls
have been wearing?

I do hope so.
They’re so dreary,
don’t you agree?

Why, yes.
Yes, I do.

Then we can look forward
to hemlines being raised
next season.

Oh, definitely.
I think if
a girl has something,

she should show it.

Now, I would like your opinion
about the new
polyester fabrics.

Or don’t you care for
her designs?

Oh, uh, I think Polly Esther
is as good as
the next designer.

Oh, I’m glad you feel
that way. Thanks much!

This time I’m gonna keep these
in my hand.

Abner! Aren’t ya
ever gonna get up?

What for?
I wanna talk to you.

Talk.
Well, how can you listen

when you’re asleep?

Same way I listen
when I’m awake.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Yes. Yes!
I don’t know.

I, I beg your pardon?

I seem to...
I don’t know.

I think I’m lost.

Oh, well, don’t let it
bother you. People
your age often forget.

But I’m only 24.

What!
Abner! Wake up.

Wake up! Abner, there’s
an old hag at the door,
and she says she’s only 24!

I told you sooner or later
your mother would flip.

Can you imagine a fashion
expert not knowing anything

about miniskirts or boots
or synthetic fabrics?

Well, she was
probably being funny.
Don’t you think?

No, phony. I tell you,
that woman’s a fake.

Mother, that’s ridiculous.

I can’t understand you,
Samantha.

Your husband is in
the clutches of who knows
what kind of impostor.

And you refuse
to become alarmed.

That’s right.
Because Darrin would never
do anything to hurt me.

He’s good and kind.

Then how is it
that he took that woman
to your favorite restaurant?

You’re making that up.

I tell you, I heard him say
he’d be at la Bella Donna.

Now, do you call that
good and kind?

Yes. Good for nothing,
and kind of a rat!

(RINGING)

Hello. Oh.
Hello, Mrs. Kravitz.

I have a visitor here,
and I have a feeling
that she’s, uh,

your kind of people.

What do you mean by that?

Yes.

Yes?

Yes. Well, uh,
hold on just a moment.

Mother!
Yes, darling?

Are you expecting anyone?
No. Why?

It’s Mrs. Kravitz.
There’s a woman
at her house,

apparently a very, very old
woman, who claims she’s
only 24-years-old.

Some women never
give up hope.

What’s her name?
What’s her name?

Do you know your name?

Of course.
Terry Warbell.

Terry Warbell!

I knew it.
I knew there was something
wrong with that woman.

What is it, mother?
What’s going on?

I’ll explain later.

Right now you’d better pop in
next door, get that woman
over here,

before Mrs. Loudmouth...
Finds out anything more.

Hello, are you there,
Mrs. Stephens?

No, I’m here.

(GASPS)
I-- I--

How could you?
I--

Abner! Abner!
This you gotta see.

I was talking to her
on the telephone,
and she pops in here!

Who?
Who else? Mrs. Stephens.

Look!

You’ll say anything
to get me up, won’t you.

Now, just calm yourself
and try to recall
what happened.

It was this morning.
I was driving along
in my car.

I saw this old woman.
She waved at me,
and I stopped.

And then, I don’t know
how it happened,
but I was the old woman,

and she was driving off
in my car!

The only thing I can remember
is my age and my name.

Oh, there’s no doubt
about it.

There’s no doubt about it.
She’s the Crone of Cawdor.

The Crone of Cawdor?
Yes.

That does sound familiar.

Well, it should. When you were
a little girl, it was one of
your favorite bedtime stories.

Of course! She was
turned into a hag,

and had to live all alone
on a mountain
peak in Carpathia.

That’s right.
And do you remember
the rest of it?

Well, let’s see.

"When the earth turns once
around the sun,

"Let the crone go forth
till the day is done.

"Another’s form she’ll take
and her form leave,

"From 6:00 in the morn...
(GULPS)

"Till 6:00 in the eve.

"And in this guise, if she
can secure a willing kiss

"from a mortal pure,

"to her will pass
the mortal’s youth,

"to him will pass her age,
forsooth."

Oh, no! Darrin!

Oh, yes! And if he kisses
her, he’ll be 500 years older.

But no wiser.

(DIALING PHONE)

What’s the matter, darling?

I thought you trusted
your husband implicitly.

Well, of course I trust him.
But not with a 500-year-old
crone.

Especially not with
a 500-year-old crone

who’s gorgeous and
wants to be kissed.

Hello, Larry?

Do you happen to know
where Darrin is?
I’m trying to find him.

Why, he, he’s with one of our
clients, and I believe he said
he was going to...

Their apartment
to finish their meeting.

You mean he isn’t
with Miss Warbell anymore?

Oh, he told you
about her?

Larry, whose apartment
has he gone to?

Sam, you have
nothing to worry about.
Darrin is as steady as a rock.

Miss Warbell just wants
to show him some of
her advertising budgets.

Will you please just give me
her address?

(SIGHS)
Sam, I know you won’t
believe this.

But it’s the honest truth.
He hung up before I could
get it.

Hello?
Sam, are you all right?

Oh, yes.
Yes, Larry, I’m fine.

Oh, mother, what am I
going to do?

If I don’t get
to Darrin in time,
he’ll be 500-years-old.

Well, you know they say there
are certain advantages to
being married to an older man.

Stop being frightful
and think of something.

Oh, calm down,
Samantha.

Right now we have to find out
where this reptile in women’s
clothes lives...

And hope to get there in time
to keep Durwood "kissless."

(GROANS)

Wouldn’t you be
more comfortable here?

Well, I think I can
concentrate better
standing up.

But I can concentrate better
if you’re sitting down.

Okay.

Well--
Can’t we stop talking business
for a moment?

Well, I would like to go
over these details.

But we’ve been
meeting all day,

and you haven’t told me
a thing about yourself.

If we’re going to be working
together, there are things
I’d like to know.

Now, tell me about
yourself.

Well, uh, uh, what
would you like to know?

What do you do for fun?

Oh, uh, sports. Swimming,
fishing, mountain climbing.

Mountain climbing!

That’s very good.

You have
the most fascinating eyes.

Well, uh, I was born
with a slight cast
in the left eye.

Isn’t there something
you’d like to do?

Yes! I’d like to
finish going over
these notes.

"And there is a possibility
that the Warbell Dress
Company

"may be interested
in some tax loss purchases,

"and toward that end,
I would appreciate...

"your giving us complete
details on sale price
of your holdings...

"As well as a--"

What-- What happened
to Miss Kornblut?

It was time for her
coffee break, Mr. Warbell.

And she couldn’t wait
to finish a letter?

I tell ya, nothing’s the same
since the union came in.

While we’re stopped, sir,
could you please give me
Terry’s address?

I seem to have misplaced it.

Uh, 35 Rollins place.
Now, can we go on?

Yes, sir.

"As well as a certified copy
of all of your company’s
debts,

"Including those owed
to the government
for corporation taxes."

Ya got that?

Got what?

Why don’t you people
drink coffee for a living
and take work breaks?

Now, here’s our big gun.

Warbell is an odd name.
You almost want to say
"warbler."

Well, why not take advantage
of it?

Now, what we had in mind
was a new dress.

We could call it
the Warbell Warbler.

When we introduce the dress,
all the department stores
will take out full page ads.

We’ll pick up half
of the charges, of course--

A simple
"I don’t care for the idea"
would have been enough.

What sort of mortal man
are you anyway?

Is business the only thing
on your mind?

Doesn’t it matter to you
that you’re alone
with a beautiful woman?

With a warm, vibrant woman
crying out for a little love?

Kiss me.
Uh, uh, Terry--

It’s nothing against
you personally.

It’s just that I’m
a very happily married man--

I’m not asking you to
run away with me, I’m just
asking you to kiss me.

Yeah, but--
Just one little kiss,
please.

One can’t do any harm.

Oh, are you wrong!

DARRIN:
Sam, what are you
doing here?

Darrin, you better
come with me.

I will not!

I don’t know how you found me,
but this is the most insulting
thing I ever heard of!

Talk about lack of trust!

I trust you.

It’s that-- That woman
I don’t trust.

I beg your pardon.

Sam, I think you owe
Miss Warbell an apology.

That woman is not
Miss Warbell.

Then who is she?

The what of what?
The Crone of Cawdor.

That’s the most ridiculous
story I’ve ever heard.

Only an insanely jealous woman
would make up something
like that.

Sam, if this is your idea
of a joke, it’s a bad one!

It’s true, if you kiss her,
you’ll be 500-years-old.

Ooh, Sam you come up
with some real beauts!

Tell him. Go ahead.
Tell him what I’m saying
is true.

I’ll do nothing
of the kind.
(CLOCK CHIMING)

Pretend she’s not here!
It’ll teach her a lesson.

It might at that.
I think I will kiss you.

(CHIMING CONTINUES)

Any wife who spies
on her husband deserves
not to be disappointed.

What do you think of that?

Be my guest.

(MOANS)

Oh, what happened?

It’s 6:00 in the eve.

What happened?
The clock struck 6:00 just
as I was about to strike one.

Will you tell me
what happened?

Over here.

(YELPS)
Sweetheart--

I’m sick and tired of having
you say I make things up
about the Stephens.

So you’re gonna take a look
at the old hag, and you’re
gonna ask her how old she is,

and when she says
she’s only 24,
(DOORBELL RINGING)

we’ll see who’s
making things up.

Oh, hi.
Hello.

Hello, Mrs. Stephens.
Excuse me, I just want to
prove something to him.

Take a look.

Now ask her
how old she is.

How old are ya?
Twenty-four.

Well, what have you got
to say now?

Let’s go home.

Is that all
you’ve got to say?

When we get home,
I will tell you a lot more.

Good night.

It’s lucky that the neighbors
found you and
brought you here.

It must be a simple case
of amnesia, don’t you think?

I-- I guess so.

I’m terribly sorry
about missing our appointment.

That’s perfectly all right.
After a good night’s rest,
I’m sure you’ll be fine.

And can we meet tomorrow
instead?

Of course.

Good, because I’m dying
to hear your ideas.

My father says you’re
a very bright young man.

Thank you. I don’t know
about bright, but my wife
helps me stay young.

He means our marriage
keeps him young.
(GROANS)

Then I’ll see you tomorrow
about 10:00?

Okay. Why don’t I
walk you out to the car?

Good night, Miss Warbell.
Good night, Mrs. Stephens.

Excuse me, honey.

Do you want a word
of advice, Samantha?

Not really.

Well, I’m going to give it
to you anyway.

That girl is not
to be trusted.

You don’t mean to say
that she’s an impostor?

No, she’s the real thing.

Oh, is she real.
That’s why I wouldn’t
trust her.

Now, if I were you,
tomorrow morning,
I’d make some excuse

to pop in to that office,
and I’d just make sure that...

Mmm.

Honey,
you are the greatest.

Any other wife would’ve
flipped over the treatment
you got today.

Oh? Well, for future
reference, I wasn’t
too far from flipping.

Oh, you pitched right in
and rustled up this dinner.

And you know something,
this lasagna is every bit
as good as la Bella Donna’s.

Well, it should be.
I had it sent
from la Bella Donna.

More chianti?
Mmm-hmm.

Courtesy of
la Bella Donna?

Everything here
is from la Bella Donna.

Oh. Except this.

Happy anniversary,
darling, of our first meeting.

I’ll kiss to that.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)