All language subtitles for Bewitched S03E25 Charlie Harper, Winner_track3_[eng]

Good.

Darrin?

Charlie. Charlie Harper!
It’s great to see you,
old buddy!

Darrin, if you don’t stop
poking around, you won’t
even make dessert.

I’ll be down in a minute.
That’s what you said
30 minutes ago.

Something tells me
you’re not too anxious
to see your old buddy.

Not anxious to see Charlie?
Don’t be ridiculous.

He only happens to be one of
the greatest guys alive.

He’d be perfect
except for one minor thing.

What’s that?

He’s rich,
bright, intelligent,
charming and witty.

And he excels at everything.
Anything that anybody can do,
Charlie Harper can do better.

Outside of that,
he’s a sweetheart.

Sounds horrible.
I’ll hate him.

Impossible.
Nobody can hate Charlie.

Not even me. Don’t think
I haven’t tried.

Well, I bet he didn’t
graduate Cum Laude
the way you did.

No, he didn’t.
There, you see?

He did better. He graduated
Summa Cum Laude, and he was
three years younger than me.

Oh. Well.

Ah. Hold it. You were
elected student body
President, weren’t you?

Only after Charlie resigned
so that he could devote
more time

to being the most popular man
on the campus.

Darrin, you can’t tell me that
Charlie was any more popular
with the girls than you were.

Let’s put it this way.
I had to beat them off
with a stick.

Charlie had his own wood pile.
What’s his wife like?

I don’t know.
I never met her.

But if she’s married
to Charlie, she’s got
to be gorgeous.

(DOORBELL RINGS)
There they are. I’ll get it.

Darrin?
Hmm?

I think your legs are cute,

But I imagine the Harpers
would prefer to see you
in pants.

See? He even beat me
getting dressed.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

How can people say they don’t
know what angels look like?

Aw, she’s beautiful, Dar.
Really something special.

Thank you, Charlie.
And you’re right.
Tabatha’s very special.

Do you have
any children?

You’ll be sorry
you asked.

There they are.

Triplets.
Triplets?

It figures.
Yes. Two girls
and a boy.

It’s a little hard to tell
because of the hair.

Well, as Charlie is
overly fond of saying,

"If you’re going to
do something, do it right."

They’re darling,
aren’t they, Darrin?
They certainly are.

Instead of cigars,
I passed out pipes.

(CHUCKLES)
Why don’t we all go down
to dinner?

You know, Dar,
I really like your place.

It has a good, solid
home feel.

Who was your decorator?

You’re looking at her.
Oh, how I envy you.

I really botched
our winter place
in Acapulco something fierce.

Sam’s got a real flair.
She can do wonders
with anything.

Well, she and Charlie should
get together, because he did
a fabulous job on our castle.

Uh, you have a castle?

Mmm.

I fell in love with it
the minute I saw the moat.

If Charlie hadn’t
bought if for me,
I would have just died.

It’s just a small one
in Majorca.

Say, Dar, I hear, uh...
I hear you’re going great guns
at McMann and Tate.

Yes. He’s head of their
creative advertising.

Hey, that’s great.
Congratulations, Dar.

Well, thank you, Charlie.
Actually, some of my accounts
have come off pretty well.

Corwell Soup for instance.

Upped the sales 27%.

How marvelous!

Darling, don’t you have
something to do
with advertising?

In a small way.

Well, I thought you bought
two big agencies last summer.

Just one.

Was that 20th century limited,
or am I thinking of the train?

(LAUGHS)
You’re close, honey.

It was Brown and Smithers
unlimited.

You bought
Brown and Smithers?

Just for tax purposes.

I really don’t know anything
about the advertising game
itself.

Well, shall we all
go into the living room
where it’s more comfortable?

I’ll get the liqueur
and be right in. Okay?

"I fell in love with it
the minute I saw the moat."

I’m not the least
bit impressed.

I’m beginning to believe
the only thing they don’t own
is this block.

Mother! What are you
doing here?

Being sick.

You’re eating
like you feel fine.

Well, you know what they say,
"Starve a success,
feed a frustration."

No one I know says that.

Have you any idea
how you sounded

while you were
trying to puff up
Duncan’s meager triumphs?

It’s "Darrin,"
and you know it!

When are you ever gonna admit
that he’s not good enough
for you?

The day after never.

Darrin’s doing just fine.
And I love him, remember?

Well, if you had
to marry a mortal,

why couldn’t you have chosen
a superior one,

like Charlie?

I don’t have to stand here

and listen to you
applaud Charlie Harper’s
accomplishments.

I can go out there
and listen to Daphne do it.

Oh, Samantha, face it.

She’s not bragging.
She’s simply stating fact.

Mother.

Hmm?

I hope you get fat.

Darrin, I hope you didn’t have
anything to do with that
terrible meat company jingle,

You know, "Our tongue
speaks for itself."

Not guilty.
(ALL LAUGH)

Oh.
You know, Charlie and I had
a bet coming over here.

He said that you would
remember me and I said
that you wouldn’t.

And you loose, right, Dar?

Well, uh, let me think.
Um...

See there?
I was right.

I was the freshman
campus queen your entire
senior year of college.

Yes, yes, of course.
Uh, how are you?

Fine, thank you.
And I must say

that your husband was
the only red-blooded male...
Thank you,

that didn’t chase me
around the quad.

I just didn’t want to get
trampled in the rush, Daphne.

He also has a bad knee.

Kids, I have a wonderful idea.

We’ve just opened up our house
at Oyster Bay,

and we’re having friends out
for the weekend,
and you’re coming too!

We’ll have a ball!
Tennis, swimming, golf.
The whole bit.

Well, I...
CHARLIE: And, Dar,

you and I are going to
talk some business,

important business
involving you.

Now, what do you say?

Well,
it sounds great, Charlie.
Doesn’t it, honey?

But can we get a baby-sitter
on such short notice?

Well, I’m sure
that mother is available.

Well, if she isn’t,

I suppose I could always get
Aunt Clara to pop in.

Oh, that’s great!
Then it’s all settled.

Samantha, why don’t you go
upstairs and throw some things
into a suitcase.

The limousine’s
right out front,
and we can all go together.

Sweetheart,
I’m proud of you.

Why?

Because I agreed to let
your mother baby-sit?

I’ll admit that does
take courage.

So does letting yourself in
for a one-upmanship weekend
like this.

It’s a shade over, above
and beyond the call of duty,
don’t you think?

Oh, we’ll have fun.
Anyway, I told you
I like Charlie.

It’s his wife
who keeps pouring it on.

You really didn’t remember
Daphne, did you?

Not a bit.
It’s weird.

You don’t suppose she was
a little bit of a snob
even then, do you?

Castle, indeed.

On the other hand,
why shouldn’t she
have a castle?

Charlie can afford it.
I wish I could give you one.

Don’t. They’re drafty.

Oh!

You have a wicked slam,
Senator.

Yes, my dear, but I wish
my wife had your form!

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

Well, when the countess
told me that we missed you in
Monte Carlo, I was just sick.

Yes. Excuse me, Mrs. Harper,
but I see Samantha’s ready
for me again.

CHARLIE:
Well, Dar, I’m afraid
you’ve got me beaten.

DARRIN: Not yet, Charlie.
Not if you get a bull’s-eye.

CHARLIE: Ha. Fat chance.
I haven’t gotten one
in three weeks.

Well, here goes.

(LAUGHS) Would you
take a look at that!

Do I have to?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

I’m afraid Louis isn’t
concentrating on the game,
but she’s such a lovely girl.

Yes, really lovely.

You know, our husbands
went to college together,

And I’m just trying
to get Charlie to give him
a decent job.

Oh!

Oh, hi, sweetheart.
Having fun?
Uh-huh.

First Charlie beat me at
eight-ball, then at darts,
now across the pool.

(CHUCKLES) Ooh.
Sorry.

Yeah.

Oh, wonderful, Samantha.
You’ve set them again.

Sorry, sweetheart.

Oh, my, Samantha.
What a stunning ring.

Oh, thank you.
Darrin picked it out himself.

It’s so stark and modern.

You know,
I tried to tell Charlie

that the trend was
away from the big diamonds,
but he’s so old-fashioned.

And of course he can
afford to be.

Oh, I’m terribly sorry!
Don’t know how I could have
been so clumsy.

Maybe the cards
caught on your ring.

Senator, I tell you,
Darrin made a shot today
that was,

well, incredible
is the only word for it.
Now, Charlie...

No false modesty, Dar.
It was fantastic.

See, he’s already found
another word.
(ALL LAUGH)

Well, who won?
Charlie. By 11 strokes.

Let’s you and I
talk a little business.
Okay. Excuse us.

Tell me, Darrin, are you
happy at McMann and Tate?

Very happy.
Oh, that’s too bad.

It’d be a lot easier to quit
if you were miserable.

Why should I want to quit?

Well, you can’t stay there
and be President of Brown
and Smithers Unlimited too.

You’re not serious?

You can write
your own ticket, Dar.
That’s how serious I am.

Well, Charlie,
I don’t know what to say.

The word is "yes."

You’ll spend six months a year
in New York and six months
on the Continent.

That’s to service our offices
in Paris, London and Rome.

Samantha will love it!

Oh, I don’t
think so, Charlie.
Why not?

Well, first of all, it would
mean uprooting the family
and schools for Tabatha,

and besides, I couldn’t
leave Larry Tate
after all he’s done for me.

Anyway, I’m simply not ready
for a presidency.

Oh, you’re too modest, Dar.
You always have been.

Can you suggest anybody else?

Why not yourself?

Hey, come on,
I’m much too smart
to hire anybody like me.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Come in.

Oh, hi, Daphne.
Hi, Samantha.

I know you packed in a hurry,
so I was wondering if you want
to borrow anything for tonight

Clothes or jewelry,
anything like that?

Oh, that’s very sweet.
But I think I brought enough.

Okay. Well.

The boys really are enjoying
themselves, aren’t they?

Darrin’s having a ball.

That’s lovely.

You know, Charlie and I
just love Darrin,

and we just wish
there was something
we could help him.

Help him what?

Well, to realize
his full potential

and to find his proper place
in the world.

Oh, Daphne. I think Darrin’s
very happy with his place,

his home, his family,
his job at McMann and Tate.

I know, but Charlie
could make him Vice President
in his agency.

But then again, Darrin
probably wouldn’t accept it.

Mmm. No, he likes to do
things on his own.

And I’m sure when
the time is right,

that he will be offered
a Vice Presidency,
at McMann and Tate.

Oh, how wonderful.
How wonderful.

Well, you’re sure there’s
nothing I can lend you
for this evening?

It’s going to be very dressy,
you know. Maybe some jewelry,
or...

Um, well, let me look.

Oh, Samantha!
How lovely.

It’s just amazing what they
can do with this costume stuff
these days, isn’t it?

What makes you think
they’re not real?

Well, you’re gonna force me
to be cruel,
but on Darrin’s salary,

they have to be zircons.

They’re beautiful zircons.
They’re the prettiest
I’ve ever seen.

Daphne,

there is one thing
I could use.

A hanger.

Oh, I’ll have Hilda
bring you some.

(CHUCKLES) I really should
hang this thing up.

Samantha, that is
the most gorgeous,

breathtakingly beaut...

Daphne?
Is anything wrong?

ENDORA: Yes,
my darling daughter.
There’s plenty wrong.

Mother!
Samantha!

I’m appalled.

Oh, mother, what is it now,
and who’s staying with Tabatha

I suspected you needed keeping
an eye on more than Tabatha.

Hagatha is sitting with her.

I’m watching over the real
baby of the family.

Oh, Samantha.

Boasting about Durwood
is one thing, but conjuring up
a precious item like that?

It’s the biggest misuse
of witchcraft
I have ever seen.

Well, since when
have you been so averse
to my using witchcraft?

The second you started
using it to make
Dalton look good.

Daphne had it coming.

ENDORA: I couldn’t
care less about her.

It’s you I’m concerned about.

You’re only fooling yourself,
Samantha,

and the mink proves it.

You had to zap it up
for yourself
because what’s-his-name

isn’t capable
of getting you one.

Don’t you see that?

I don’t need a mink.

(SCOFFS)

I suppose I shouldn’t
have done it though.

It’s about to get me
into trouble.

Well, from the lustful look
in her eye,

I would say that is
in the nature
of an understatement.

If you just unfreeze her
and pop out, I’ll see if
I can remedy the situation.

Well, easier said, darling.

Cheerio.

Beautiful, fabulous coat
that I have ever seen!

May I?
Yes.

Did Darrin give it to you?
Where did he get it?

From a little place that
was going out of business.

With merchandise like this?

Well, you see, Daphne,
that was the problem.

They took too much trouble.
Raised the mink themselves.

And only used the pelts
from identical twins
from each litter.

Oh! There’s probably not
another one like it
in the whole world.

No, no, there isn’t.

Darrin could just shoot me
for not liking it.

For not liking it?

Well, I hardly ever
wear it.

It’s kind of a sore subject
with Darrin,

so I’d appreciate it
if you didn’t mention it
to him.

Oh, darling,
you can count on me.
Good.

Oh, how stupid of me.

Charlie, you’ve got to get
that mink coat for me.

But you have a closet
full of those things.

Oh, but this is
made out of the pelts
of identical twins!

If this coat is so special,
honey, well, why doesn’t
Samantha like it?

Oh, don’t be so dense.
She knows they can’t
afford it.

Yeah, but I’d feel funny.

Look, you’d be doing
Darrin a favor
by taking it off his hands,

because he’s probably
up to his neck in hock for it.

Oh, I don’t know.

Oh, Charlie, if you don’t
get me that coat I’m gonna
have a migraine till 1970.

Believe me,
honey, I don’t feel bad.
As a matter of fact,

I feel great,
I finally beat Charlie
at something!

You said you lost
by 12 strokes.
Eleven!

Oh, pardon me.

But we flipped a coin
to see who’d tip
the caddie, and I won.

It cost me 10 bucks,
but I won!

Oh, I love you, you nut.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Mmm. I love...
Oh, come in.

Excuse me,
I hope I’m not interrupting.

Samantha, I just wanted
to tell you that you have got
another Arnie Palmer here,

he made a shot...
I told her, Charlie.
What can we do for you?

Well, um, we’ve known
each other for a number
of years, right, Dar?

Charlie, if it’s about
the job...
No, no, it isn’t.

Shall I excuse myself?
No, I want you
to stay right here.

You are a very important
part of this.

Uh, Dar,

my wife wants to buy
your wife’s mink coat.

She’s been bugging me
about it ever since
she saw it.

If she doesn’t get it,
she’s gonna make my life
miserable for me.

Well, I don’t get it,
Charlie. What’s the joke?

She wants to buy my mink?

That’s impossible.

I know you’re touchy
on the subject, Dar, but...
Why should I be touchy?

Sam doesn’t own a mink.

Now I don’t get it.

Darrin, could I talk
to you for a moment?

When?

Now?

Uh, should I leave?
No, no, Charlie.

It’s all right.
It’ll only take a minute.

Excuse us, Charlie.

(WHISPERING)
Sam, what’s this all about?

Well... Oh, Darrin.

Well, you see, Daphne said
some very unkind things
about you

and about how you were doing.

Well, so I just
Zapped up a mink coat

and said it was a present
from you.
That’s great!

I’m sorry.
We’ll talk about it
after we get rid of him.

Well, I hope you kids
have settled on a price.

The coat’s not for sale,
Charlie.
Ah, we’re making progress.

At least, uh, he said
that there is a coat.

Uh, would you consider
$5,000?
Absolutely not.

Oh I understand.
Sentimental value and all.

Let’s say 6,000 then, hmm?

Charlie, you can’t put
a price on sentiment.

Now, I know the coat was
custom-made from pelts
of identical twins, so...

What!
Identical mink twins?

So how about $8,500?

Charlie, will you cut
that out? You haven’t
even seen the coat.

For all you know it might have
a hole in the pocket!

Dar, Daphne wants it.
That’s all I have to know.

Come on, kids, be realistic.

You certainly can’t
turn down 12,500.

The answer’s no,
Charlie. No.

Samantha, talk to him.
Tell him you don’t really
even like the coat.

Well, Darrin,
what was I to do?

Daphne was being
so patronizing.

Well, she practically
called you a looser.

So to prove what
a winner I was,
you gave yourself a mink coat.

Well, I’m sorry, darling.

Well, she could’ve said
anything in
the world about me,

but I didn’t want her
to knock you, don’t you
understand?

Perfectly. I’m enough of
a breadwinner to provide you
with the necessities,

but when it comes
to the luxuries
I want to give you,

I can’t compete with
your witchcraft!

I can’t give you anything
you can’t zap up yourself.

Oh, Darrin, please
let me explain.

Explain what? I think
everything’s all too clear.

Well.

Hors d’oeuvre?
No, thank you.

Would you care to dance,
Daphne?

Senator, I know how you
loathe vetoes, but I have
a crushing migraine.

So sorry.

Hey, Darrin, what’s wrong?
You... You seem upset.

Have I done anything
to offend you?

No, Charlie.
You just helped put things
in perspective for me.

Daphne, can I see you
for a moment?

Certainly!

You haven’t by any chance
changed your mind,
have you?

Daphne, the coat is yours.

Oh, you don’t mean it!

Charlie!

Please, just between...
he’ll...
Charlie!

SAM: Daphne...
DAPHNE: Darrin!

Oh, it’s beautiful.

What’s going on?

Don’t be too long.
She might change her mind.

Charlie will give you
a check for it, Samantha.

Well, Daphne,
you don’t understand.
I’m giving it to you.

Giving it to me?

Yes. Charlie told me
how much you admired it,
and so I want you to have it.

CHARLIE: Well, that is
a marvelous coat, Samantha.

This is worth a great deal
of money. You can’t do that.

Oh, no, Samantha,
you can’t give away
anything this valuable.

Oh, yes, you can, Daphne,

When you value something
else a great deal more.

DAPHNE: More than this?

Oh, you’re kidding.

No, I’m not.

I don’t think I’ve ever
been as serious

or meant anything
as much in my life.

Sam.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Uh-uh. I’ll get it,
sweetheart.

Mrs. Stephens?
This is for you.
Oh, thank you.

You’re welcome.
Who is it, honey?

Oh, it’s a package,
and by special messenger,
no less.

Hey. I haven’t
forgotten a birthday
or an anniversary, have I?

Of course not.
I wouldn’t let you.

Well, who’s it from?

It’s from Daphne
and Charlie Harper.

Daphne?

"Dear Samantha,
I’m returning the coat.

"It would take volumes
to explain why,
but I have a feeling

"I don’t need to make
an explanation.

"I’m certain
you’ll understand.

"Please accept my thanks
for giving me
a sense of value.

"Daphne."

Oh, there’s a P.S.
from Charlie.

"Thanks for giving me
a new Daphne. Charlie."

Hey, did we do all that?
Huh.

You did, sweetheart.
Aw.

Honey, about this coat...

Are you sure you don’t want
to keep the coat?

Oh, sweetheart, I can zap up
mink coats all day long.

But I can never zap up
another Darrin Stephens.

Mmm?
Mmm-hmm.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)